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Experta en Inconsciente: Haz Esto Antes de Dormir y tu Doble Cuántico Resolverá el Problema Por ti — Transcript

by A lo Grande Podcast (con Marian Gamboa) · 12,387 words · 1,294 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Do you have permission to make money?
0:03How much happiness can you handle?
0:06Sometimes there’s a prohibition in your unconscious.
0:10Our emotional life, our impulses—everything comes from what’s
0:15recorded there, because the unconscious stores life’s impacts.
0:20It speaks in symbols: through dreams, through images that appear to you.
0:26Your body receives it, so it knows so much.
0:30Marly Kuenerz, clinical psychologist and transpersonal psychotherapist,
0:35is a leading expert on the unconscious in the Spanish-speaking world. Today,
0:40the author of The Quantum Unconscious explains how to train your subconscious to
0:45stop holding you back and work for you.
0:48A pain that appears at a certain moment and then goes away,
0:53and you don’t understand why.
0:55Suddenly, it’s a symbol that reminded the body of something. And it showed up.
1:02A traffic sign informs you: no entry.
1:05But if your boyfriend leaves you beside it, it becomes tied to that moment.
1:11What mechanisms are there to release that knot in the body?
1:15Well, look, the queen is the...
1:18Sometimes we want something not meant for us.
1:22If it's not your frequency, it won't come.
1:26Are you saying, then, we come with a destiny?
1:30Well... I’ve had many cases where, with one session, a person changes their life.
1:36You wouldn’t believe how many people have tried everything, every technique,
1:43but their stomach keeps acting up.
1:46And then it’s time for the...
1:49Think right now about the one thing you most want to achieve in your life.
1:54Well, don’t think too hard, because you probably already know.
1:59You’ve been thinking about it a lot.
2:01You’ve been studying and researching how things are done.
2:05In fact, I think you could probably even give a talk about it. But the thing is,
2:11there may be a pretty big gap between that desire and what actually happens
2:16on a Monday morning in real life.
2:19The pieces just don’t fit.
2:21Your desire and your reality can’t seem to come together and
2:25make it happen the way you want.
2:27They don’t manage to get closer and become real as you wish.
2:32And maybe you’re missing a key piece of this puzzle,
2:35because there’s something inside you that may be behind ninety percent of your daily
2:41decisions—and you don’t even know it. Today,
2:44my special guest has spent a long time studying how to train that part we call
2:50the subconscious mind—the part that makes many decisions for you and that,
2:55when you want something, may simply want to protect you.
2:59So I want you to stay with us until the end of this interview,
3:04because we’re going to bring a lot of things down to earth,
3:08including some very practical ones,
3:10so that at some point you can manage to master that subconscious mind.
3:15Let’s see if we can do it, and let’s ask our guest, Marly Kuenerz.
3:20Welcome to A lo Grande Podcast.
3:22It’s a pleasure to have someone who’s a leading voice in the
3:26study of the subconscious mind.
3:29Welcome to A lo Grande Podcast. How are you?
3:32Thanks. A pleasure, an honor.
3:35It’s a great honor to have you here in this space.
3:38And before we get started with our first question,
3:42I want to ask the amazing men and women in this community to leave a
3:47comment below telling us what they long to achieve in their hearts,
3:51and why, for some reason, they’re not getting any closer to that goal.
3:56Leave it in the comments, because by the end of this episode,
4:01you may discover what path and what way can bring you closer to
4:05what you want to achieve. Marly,
4:07I want to start with this because people talk a lot about
4:11the subconscious mind nowadays,
4:14but I’m not sure exactly what term to use when referring to it.
4:18I mean, what can we do with our subconscious mind? Can we fool it?
4:23Can we master it? Can we train it?
4:25What would be the best companion to help us get along with this
4:30fundamental part of our mind?
4:33Well, look, despite the enormous power of the unconscious—because it really does
4:40direct our emotional life,
4:42our impulses, everything comes from what’s been recorded there in the unconscious,
4:49from the material it contains.
4:52But what’s also important here is the conscious mind,
4:56because the conscious mind is analytical.
5:00So it’s the part that can reorganize that information, because the unconscious,
5:07despite its tremendous power, is reactive.
5:10So depending on the cocktail of information in there,
5:15you’ll see something and react in a certain way.
5:19So you can deceive yourself; you can’t deceive the unconscious.
5:25You can fool yourself quite easily.
5:28And “dominate” isn’t the right word,
5:31because the unconscious is infinitely greater in its perceptiveness, in its
5:37power. You know they say the conscious mind handles fifty bits per second,
5:44while the unconscious handles several million.
5:48So we can’t compete with it.
5:50But since its function is different,
5:53if you have awareness and you know how to speak the unconscious mind’s language,
6:00you can organize that information in your favor.
6:05But that isn’t deceiving it.
6:09What'd you call it? Train it?
6:11Train it. Train consciousness in the language the unconscious understands,
6:18because otherwise it doesn’t understand you.
6:22But when you give a different meaning to one of the concepts it holds,
6:28that it has stored—because the unconscious stores the impacts of your life...
6:35Everything that made an impact, whether beautiful, pleasant, loving, or traumatic,
6:42painful, unpleasant.
6:44So, they’re like the foundation stones of that cocktail from which your impulses,
6:51even your longings, emerge.
6:54Is there an appropriate way, Marly, to speak to our subconscious mind?
7:00In other words, should we treat it like a child who doesn’t understand what’s
7:05happening or what is going on?
7:07Should we perhaps treat it with even more respect?
7:11I mean, I even imagine it as two distinct parts within our personality,
7:16and maybe we need to treat it in a special way.
7:20Can we understand it in those terms?
7:23Let's see, what we have to do is, like everything else in life,
7:29adapt ourselves to the great laws,
7:32because they're not going to adapt to your particular situation.
7:37You're the one who has to adapt.
7:40So the unconscious, obviously, has its own language.
7:45It's not a logical language, because it exists in another dimension.
7:50It doesn't live in our chronological time.
7:54It's a kind of time that's very difficult to imagine, where there is no past,
8:01present, or future.
8:02So it can't work the way our, let's say, conscious mind works in the physical
8:09world. That's why I say we have to learn its language.
8:14And its language is symbolic; it's not intellectual reasoning.
8:19It's symbolic, because symbolism, which is largely forgotten today,
8:25is one of the most effective ways to transform unconscious information.
8:32Can you give an example of symbolic talk to the unconscious?
8:36For example, I don't know, you went with your mother to a store,
8:42lost sight of her for a moment, and panicked.
8:46You felt abandoned, like a child,
8:49but she had gone to ask for a bigger shoe for you and was
8:54actually keeping an eye on you.
8:56So, once you understand that and your unconscious receives that information,
9:03it opens up a space to see things differently.
9:09And so, nowadays, if I want, for example,
9:12to deal with a complicated situation in my life, a trauma that perhaps—consciously,
9:17and many of our wonderful women and men—has already been working
9:21itself out for a long time,
9:23and I manage to identify the breaking points in my life, what language do I use
9:28now, being aware of this, to tell my unconscious: “Hey! Relax.
9:32You know nothing is happening here”?
9:37The conversation isn’t quite like that.
9:40First, you find out what’s inside him, because he tells you.
9:46He tells you in dreams, in unconscious things you do during the day,
9:52in images that come to you,
9:54in ideas you don’t know where they came from that suddenly appear.
10:00So, that information from the unconscious…
10:04Because the unconscious isn’t just floating around somewhere.
10:09It’s in your body. Your body is what receives that information.
10:15That’s why the body knows so much. So,
10:18one of the most effective and important ways to make contact with consciousness is
10:25to be inside your body,
10:27to feel your body, feel its reactions, feel its emotions, of course,
10:33feel everything that happens in response to what’s going on around you
10:39and what’s happening in your thoughts.
10:43That creates an intimacy with the unconscious,
10:47and you start to understand things because there’s a logic to it.
10:53Even though it exists in another space-time, it has a logic.
10:58So, for example, in the shoe-store example I just gave, okay?
11:03The shoe the child was trying on is a symbol for him,
11:08and maybe when he sees that symbol,
11:11he feels the fear he felt when he felt abandoned.
11:16So, a symbol is filled with emotions.
11:19Another example: imagine that, as a child,
11:23you go to bed at night and your father comes home.
11:27You hear your father’s key turning in the lock,
11:31and he comes in to give you a kiss and a hug in bed and so on.
11:37When the symbol of the key appears, you’re going to feel really good,
11:43because it takes you back to that moment in your life.
11:48Now, if your father comes home drunk and violent, then when you hear the key,
11:55you’re going to feel fear, distress, anxiety.
11:59And when the symbol of the key appears in your mind,
12:03it’s going to bring up those feelings.
12:07So, the symbol is filled with unconscious information.
12:11And knowing what each symbol means to you is a kind of
12:16knowledge that belongs to you.
12:19And if you then have a tool to locate all this,
12:23because the unconscious is very precise.
12:27It’s not approximate; it’s exact.
12:29For example, a father had an accident and injured his leg in a very specific spot,
12:36and it affected the entire family’s life.
12:40Well, the son goes and has a bicycle accident in exactly that same little spot,
12:47as a way of standing by his father.
12:50That’s the family loyalty we talk about so much in psychology.
12:56Yes, yes, yes, yes, sir.
12:58So, it’s not just anything.
13:01It’s like: “I’m with you, with your wound, with your pain.”
13:07And, well, throughout this interview we’ll touch on the topic of loyalties,
13:12because I think it really moves people, and they struggle to break free from...
13:17It's big
13:18It’s a huge topic, it really is.
13:20So we’ll talk about that later on.
13:22Look, if someone is watching this video today,
13:25obviously it’s because they want to transform something in their life,
13:29their reality, or their circumstances.
13:31And if there’s just one thing they need to start doing differently from what
13:36they’ve believed they’re supposed to do,
13:38what would be the very first thing?
13:40I’m going to tell you something I don’t usually say.
13:44Every time I want to bring a major expert onto this podcast,
13:47one of those experts you’ve been asking me for month after month,
13:51the first thing they ask me is, “How many people follow you,
13:55Marian?” That’s how bluntly this works.
13:57So today I’m asking you for one specific favor: subscribe to the channel.
14:02If you already have, all you need to do is turn on the notification bell.
14:06You can do it right now, just below this video.
14:09Every channel subscription is a key that helps open the door to the next interview,
14:14the one that’s going to change the lives of everyone who’s part of this community.
14:19Thank you for being here, and with that, let’s continue this interview.
14:24And if there’s just one thing they need to start doing differently from what
14:28they’ve believed they’re supposed to do,
14:31what would be the very first thing?
14:33The first thing is to be aware of what’s happening inside you.
14:39Otherwise, you don’t know yourself,
14:42because we’re so lost out there that we lose touch with ourselves.
14:47This morning, I told a woman,
14:50“Put your hand on your heart and feel the beats.” She couldn’t feel them because
14:57she’s disconnected from her body.
14:59Someone who’s aware of their body can feel their heartbeat at any moment.
15:06They can travel through their body.
15:08That’s being in yourself, being present within yourself,
15:13but that doesn’t mean you stop seeing what’s outside.
15:18As the yogis say, one eye looks inward and the other looks outward.
15:23That’s the state we need to be in.
15:28And I understand our first way of communicating with the unconscious is your
15:32body, right?
15:33What your body says to you when these things are happening.
15:37A pain that shows up at a moment and goes away, and you don't understand why.
15:44Suddenly, it's a symbol that reminded the body of something, and it has manifested.
15:50But it doesn't reach your conscious mind.
15:54It stays automatic, and nothing changes.
15:57When you become aware: “Oh!
15:59That pain came to me because of the key...
16:03I saw a key that reminded me of those nights with my dad,
16:07when he would come home at night.” Do you understand?
16:12That awareness, knowing that things can be symbolic. Not everything.
16:17For example, a traffic sign is a neutral sign.
16:21It's giving you information: no entry, or the speed limit.
16:26It has no emotional connotation.
16:28But if your boyfriend leaves you when you're standing next to that sign,
16:34it becomes infused with that moment.
16:37Or if someone proposes to you and says he's in love with you,
16:42that sign becomes infused with that moment too.
16:46Do you understand what I mean?
16:48Symbols start taking on emotional and energetic information for you.
16:55And is it enough just to become aware of this?
16:58Or is there something beyond that? Because,
17:01even if I can recognize—following our example—that this key is reminding me of a
17:07good or traumatic situation in my life,
17:10I’ve already made myself fully conscious of this fact, yes,
17:14but is that enough for it to stop bothering me, or making me feel
17:19uncomfortable?
17:21Some things are softer, yes; the deeper ones, no,
17:25because they’re ingrained in your body, thoughts, and emotions.
17:31When you change your perspective, your thoughts change.
17:36Many times, the emotion changes in intensity—at the very least.
17:41But the body is densest, and therefore slowest to change,
17:46because they all move at different speeds. Thought is fast.
17:52Emotion moves more slowly.
17:54The body is slower because matter has weight; matter is slow.
17:59So the body is the last thing to let go.
18:03For example, you’ve already worked on the key.
18:07You think about it differently.
18:10You already feel differently, but when you see the key,
18:15the knot in your throat is still there.
18:19-Yes, of course -Why? The body hasn't let go.
18:23And what mechanisms are there to help release that knot in the body?
18:28Well, look, the techniques work through different mechanisms.
18:34The queen of them all is sound vibration. For that.
18:39We have a bowl here, and we're going to do an exercise.
18:44You can use other instruments,
18:46but this one is really good because you can place it on the person,
18:52right where the knot is.
18:54Because our patterns aren’t just floating around in the air, I’ll say it again:
19:00they’re in the body. They have a precise location.
19:04And so, when you locate the pattern in your body,
19:08you undo it with the sound vibration.
19:11It’s as if it comes undone because it vibrates.
19:15And when it vibrates, it gets put back in place.
19:19And that’s wonderful, because it’s like finally closing the chapter.
19:25You have no idea how many people have done absolutely everything,
19:30who’ve tried every technique there is, who have a fantastic awareness of things,
19:36but their stomach is still acting up.
19:39And so, that’s when the sound vibration comes in.
19:43It sort of changes the memory that had remained in that cell of whatever it was.
19:50At that moment, if it’s the child’s leg, that disappears.
19:55And along with it, the loyalty the father had, because you change levels.
20:01It’s as if your frequency has changed.
20:04Since it’s all frequency, or frequencies,
20:07ultimately it takes you to another frequency.
20:13I want to pause here, because some people out there may be thinking, “Okay,
20:18I understand this, but how is it possible?” I want to speak to their
20:23rational minds. What has been discovered about the power of sound,
20:28and how it can have such a strong impact, releasing those knots, those traumas,
20:33and those things that remain deeply stuck inside?
20:37I mean, what have we actually seen? Are there studies?
20:40Is there anything to support it?
20:44Look, there are studies on the benefits of music, of course.
20:50The nervous system calms down.
20:53Beethoven, for example—Beethoven’s music is well known. Mozart’s, too.
21:00Mozart is as if you were taking a tranquilizer.
21:04But there are also other studies, for example, with drums,
21:09with children who play drums together,
21:13and afterward they have an infinitely higher academic level because something
21:20forms—an equality of oscillation.
21:23There’s a unification when everyone plays the drum.
21:28And so these children, in a way, raise their vibrational level.
21:34There are several studies showing that playing an instrument together—in this
21:41case, we use the drum, and besides, the drum is rhythmic,
21:46it’s like the rhythm of the earth, of matter,
21:50right?—benefits both the nervous system and those children’s
21:56ability to learn enormously.
21:59There are several studies on that, right?
22:03Intriguing
22:04And the benefit of the vibration as well. Now, is it specific? No.
22:10Because we only use that technique at our institute.
22:15It’s something that was given to me, that came to me.
22:20And it was completely given by life.
22:23The circumstances came together for me to start using sound
22:28vibration on bodily patterns.
22:31And, of course, the result was enormous.
22:35Until now, I’ve mostly done it quietly, researching,
22:40but there still isn’t a scientific study on it. On the effects, yes,
22:46because they did a twelve-year study on the effects of the method I created,
22:53but this technique is part of a whole body of work; it’s not just the technique.
23:01And in all these years of research, what’s the most revealing case you’ve seen?
23:07Has anything surprised you in twelve years?
23:10Well, I could tell you about a lot of people who...
23:14Because I work with sound, but not only with sound.
23:18I mean, it’s nothing like a gong concert, which is always pleasant and beautiful.
23:25They’re calming, they’re beautiful, they’re gentle, but they don’t...
23:30Let’s change a pattern that’s embedded in your body.
23:35It’s a completely different idea.
23:37It’s truly innovative, because it’s never been done before.
23:42And you don’t know how it works. It works wonderfully.
23:47Of course, the more detailed the case, the more you get to know the person,
23:53the more the person has worked on themselves, the deeper it goes.
23:59Good. Very good.
24:00But I’ve had many cases where, with one session, a person changes their life. Why?
24:07Because they’ve matured—the fruit is ripe now.
24:11They’ve worked through every angle, looked at it from every side,
24:17tried every possible way, and it won’t go away because it’s in the body,
24:24because the cell’s memory refuses to let go.
24:28Then the vibration comes and undoes it.
24:31And it doesn’t just undo it; it replaces it.
24:35That’s the beautiful thing about this technique.
24:39You don’t just remove what’s there; you let something emerge from within you,
24:46within the patient, to replace it.
24:49So the therapist is simply a guide.
24:55And does the body's wisdom rearrange the pieces?
24:58And the symbol. Let’s go back to the symbol.
25:02Why does this play of attention, as my method is called, work so well? Why?
25:08We go through the symbol of the unconscious.
25:12Has the symbol of the unconscious changed? Everything changes.
25:18The feeling changes, the impulse changes, the longing changes, because deep down,
25:25everything is in the body.
25:27And the unconscious is in the body.
25:30So it’s spectacular, I’m telling you.
25:33There are people who, online—not in person—in a session...
25:38Well, they write to me: “Look, it’s changed my life.
25:43I want more.” I say, “No more.
25:45Stay with what you have for now.” Because it’s nice, it feels good.
25:51It’s a positive experience for them.
25:54Absolutely, and it feels good too.
25:57You have a deep pain, okay?
25:59Then you turn it into a symbol.
26:02And where your mind is aware, it doesn't even need to get it, right? Because...
26:07Oh, yes.
26:12Well, in a way, yes.
26:13Sure. Because the first door you have to open is the door to your mind.
26:19If you refuse, no therapy or technique in the world will...
26:24Solve this issue
26:25You can’t force someone to fix it if they don’t want to.
26:30Each person is sovereign over themselves.
26:34First, they must understand that transformation will be beneficial.
26:40Many fear change:
26:42“Better the devil you know.” “I’m in an uncomfortable comfort zone, but I know
26:49it.”
26:55So true.
26:57First, dare and want to. No one can make you.
27:02Marly, I know you’re also the author of the book The Quantum Unconscious.
27:07I found the title really intriguing,
27:10because the word itself seemed particularly curious to me,
27:14almost as though it made me understand the unconscious as having more to do with
27:19physics than with psychology itself.
27:24It’s not exactly like that.
27:26Of course, because psychology and the unconscious are one and the same thing.
27:33Psychology comes from the unconscious.
27:36I mean, all your reactions, all your things, even your longings,
27:42come from what’s in there.
27:44And many things influence your unconscious,
27:48because your ancestors influence it too—the great dramas in your family.
27:54You’re not untouched by that.
27:57Your grandfather was murdered somewhere, in a war, whatever.
28:02That’s there in the family, and you absorb it.
28:06It's like, for the unconscious, as you said at first, there's no time or space
28:11There isn't.
28:13Like it's right now
28:14It lives, so to speak, in an eternal infinity.
28:18So, of course, everything happens at once in the unconscious.
28:24There’s no sequence, no sequential time like the one we live in.
28:29So, of course, it changes everything.
28:33It's the same as thinking that the humiliation I experienced in my childhood,
28:39which my unconscious is reliving in the present, is there,
28:43being constantly relived with that same emotional intensity. But at the same time,
28:49it also makes me understand that it is possible to resolve it right now,
28:54in the present, too, precisely because it is there, because it is still there.
29:00Always. In fact, sometimes it remains in the family soul,
29:05because there’s a unity within a family, a kind of shared family soul, you could say.
29:11So a grandmother’s unresolved drama remains there.
29:16Whatever the drama may be—her husband was murdered, her child died,
29:21some humiliation, whatever.
29:23It doesn’t matter what kind of drama it was.
29:27That unresolved, unharmonized vibration remains in the family soul.
29:32One of the descendants is going to receive it.
29:36And because they receive that illness, all of it happens unconsciously.
29:42Then, consciously, you search for it and find it,
29:46but the reaction isn’t thought out beforehand.
29:50So that person receives it and normally repeats, in a gentler way,
29:55what happened to the ancestor.
29:57And if they resolve it here, they’re resolving the ancestor’s unresolved
30:03problem. In other words, they’re bringing a solution to the entire ancestral line.
30:10That’s the beautiful part,
30:12because not every descendant receives every wound that was left behind.
30:18Why do I get it, but not the other person, my cousin, or sister?
30:23There you’re talking about something that goes far beyond the human being.
30:29I have an explanation: vibrations, vibrational frequencies,
30:34meet—the ones that are meant to, the ones that are synchronized.
30:40You synchronize with a great-grandfather who went through some situation,
30:46and you’ll have the possibility of solving a problem that was left unfinished.
30:52To me, it’s your life itself. You vibrate at one level,
30:57and in your life you’ll find everything that’s at that level.
31:02You change your vibration, and you’ll find different things in your life.
31:08You lower your vibration, and you’ll find other things.
31:13The level at which you vibrate depends on you.
31:17If you hold on to resentment, pain, things that have happened to you,
31:23and you stay there, your vibration will be slow, it’ll be coarse.
31:28But if you transform all of that, understand it,
31:32and manage to have compassion for it all—for yourself and for everything that
31:39happens—you vibrate in a different way,
31:42and you’ll find a different kind of event, because there’s energetic synchronicity.
31:49When you turn on the TV and go to channel one,
31:53it doesn’t appear once in a while—it appears every time.
31:58You go to three, and three appears.
32:01You go to seven, and seven appears. It’s synchronized.
32:05Our energy is very similar.
32:08You’ll find whatever is synchronized with you. Are you happy? Great, enjoy it.
32:14But you’re not happy? Change your synchronicity.
32:18Change the synchronicity you’re going to have.
32:23Sometimes it happens, and it’s happened to me too.
32:26In this search for vibrating at a higher frequency,
32:30that whole idea—I don’t know what you think about it—but it’s also
32:34become trendy to use techniques or do things to start vibrating high.
32:39But along the way, you suddenly find yourself saying, “I’m in such a good
32:43place, I want to focus on the positive and all that.” And suddenly
32:48something tough comes along,
32:50and you’re like, “But if I’m vibrating high, why is this happening to me?”
32:55Because you’re not looking at the low vibration.
32:59Because the low vibration has treasures inside it.
33:03Your biggest traumas are your greatest gifts.
33:07Because through your traumas, you’ve learned things about sensitivity,
33:13humanity,
33:14and perception that people who haven’t gone through those things simply don’t
33:20have. If you stay stuck in the pain, you don’t make use of it.
33:25But if you look at everything you’ve developed through a challenging situation,
33:32it’s a kind of wealth. So you can’t refuse to see the negative,
33:37because you see that light is positive and negative.
33:41The positive isn’t the light.
33:43It’s that combination: be grateful for the positive, because it gives you energy,
33:50it makes you want to live, and look at what’s trying to hold you back,
33:56because if you draw out the juice it has, the richness it has,
34:01you’ll be grateful for what happened to you.
34:04So just looking at the positive isn’t enough.
34:08Looking only at the negative isn’t enough either.
34:12It’s the combination of the two that gives you light.
34:16And that’s a mistake I find important—the desire to see only the positive,
34:22because the other side is there too.
34:25And it’s there for a reason.
34:28It’s not there for you to ignore it and sweep it under the rug.
34:33It’s there for you to look at,
34:35because that’s where all the richness is that you gain by going deeper into it.
34:44And you were saying a moment ago, right?
34:47Like, of course, why is it your job to heal something that isn’t yours,
34:51something that comes from an ancestor?
34:54But you used a word that struck me as interesting,
34:57and you mentioned it as an opportunity.
35:00I mean, you have that gift.
35:02I mean, it’s not like it’s a sentence you’ve been given.
35:06-No, work. -Task.
35:08I mean, something else came to your brother, something else came to the other
35:15one, but you got that task.
35:17And since you got it, it will stay in your life, with very similar aspects.
35:24So, if you solve it, you’re solving the whole soul of the family you belong to.
35:31I mean, you’re not separate from your family.
35:35You were born into that family for a reason.
35:39Again, there are similarities in energetic frequency.
35:43I mean, your family wasn’t a coincidence.
35:47In it, you have gifts, and also the problem to solve.
35:53Well, you’ve already talked about the attention game,
35:56and you’ve created a wonderful methodology around it.
36:00And what catches my attention is that you say that the
36:04experience of being scattered, right?
36:06Correct me if I’m wrong, but feeling scattered in life is what makes you
36:11unhappy.
36:14Yes, there’s a study. I don’t remember the exact figures right now.
36:20It’s an important study that found our mind wanders practically half the time,
36:27even a little more.
36:29And that wandering doesn’t just get you nowhere; it doesn’t make you happy either.
36:36In other words, a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. When you focus... You know?
36:43The energy comes, the motivation comes, the...
36:47That’s an important study that was done.
36:52And how do we train ourselves to keep our attention on what we want to achieve?
36:59Well, let’s see. Sometimes we want to achieve something that isn’t meant for us,
37:06but there’s a reason we want it.
37:09Because maybe, along the way, we’ll find what is meant for us.
37:14I don’t know if you remember.
37:17A few years ago, there was a book called The Secret, I think.
37:22And it said, “Assume it’s already done, blah blah blah. Your mental power.”
37:29Attraction law
37:31Yes, the famous law of attraction, which was a huge success, but was like
37:37champagne: it came and went. So why?
37:40Because it’s true, but only if you’re within the universal laws.
37:45If you want something that isn’t on your frequency, it won’t come.
37:50I mean, if something isn’t meant for you, no matter how much...
37:56It’s like standing in front of an apple tree and saying,
38:00“I’ll use my mental power to make a pear come out of here.” It will never happen
38:07because you’re going against a law.
38:10So, if what you want is on your path, great; but sometimes it isn’t.
38:16So are you saying we already have a destiny?
38:20Well, here we come to the great question human beings have been
38:25asking ever since we existed.
38:28How much do we actually decide?
38:31Well, obviously, there are determinisms.
38:34You were born at this particular time, in that particular moment, into that family,
38:41as a man or a woman, with certain circumstances, with certain events.
38:47That whole program that comes from all of that—who organizes it? Life does.
38:54Life is the great teacher. So, it gives you a menu.
38:59Now, determinists will tell you, “Even what you choose from the menu is
39:05determined, because your cravings, your desires,
39:09also correspond to everything that’s happened to you.” In other words,
39:15there are quite a few schools of thought that believe in complete determinism.
39:22I don’t think that way, and I’ll tell you why: because life is structure and chaos.
39:29There is a structure.
39:31Everything that happens to you—all the events and circumstances of
39:37your life—creates a structure, a mental program. But there’s chaos too.
39:43If there were no chaos, there would be no renewal.
39:48It’s like a computer that has to update itself every so often.
39:55It resets, sure.
39:56For example, a tree.
39:58You know branches come out of a trunk, but do you know where one will come out?
40:05That’s chaos. So there’s an unknown factor there: creativity, intuition.
40:12I can’t tell you, but I know there’s something that renews that structure.
40:18How much do you decide there, and how much don’t you? I don’t know.
40:24Because nobody can answer that for you.
40:30It occurs to me to ask you, of course, if,
40:33in this game of attention—we’ll use that concept—I’m looking for this, right?
40:39I want to get rich, right?
40:41I’ve already trained my mind, I’ve done absolutely everything.
40:45And as soon as I even try, I lose it again.
40:48All I do is either get distracted or start doing other things.
40:53So, let’s see, how long do I keep the tension to achieve this, to get rich,
40:58and how far do I take it?
41:00At what point do I know it’s time to say, “Okay, don’t do any more of this,
41:05because you’re seeing this reality that doesn’t add up.
41:09Turn your attention to other things”?
41:12Well, because the work has to go outward.
41:15I mean, you need to understand finance,
41:19you need to have a good head on your shoulders,
41:23because otherwise it’s not going to work.
41:26But you also have to look within.
41:29Do you give yourself permission to make money?
41:33How much happiness are you able to handle?
41:36Do you allow yourself abundance?
41:39Because sometimes, deep in your unconscious, there’s a prohibition.
41:45“My parents struggled their whole lives. How could I not struggle?
41:51I have to stay with them.” That famous family loyalty.
41:55That usually accounts for a high percentage of it.
42:00How do we recognize when a family loyalty is guiding us?
42:04What do we need to recognize in ourselves to say, “Whoa,
42:08you’re actually operating from a loyalty”?
42:12Look, I always think you have to follow your desires and your dreams, of course,
42:19but you have to let go of the outcome.
42:22Because maybe I’ve been studying for years for a civil service exam, and I fail.
42:29Tragedy.
42:30But maybe that path you were going to take would have been a disaster for you.
42:37What do you know? What do you know? What do we really know? You have to live it.
42:44But that doesn’t mean you’re on the right path.
42:48You have to try it, because when circumstances are meant to happen,
42:54they happen on their own.
42:56When you come up against a difficulty, you have to try to get through it.
43:03But sometimes you’re just banging your head against a wall.
43:08Because, you know, for something to happen, there has to be action,
43:14but there also has to be the right moment, the right people.
43:19And sometimes you’re forcing a situation when it’s not the right time,
43:25or they’re not the right people.
43:28How do I know I’m focusing my attention, my energy, on the right thing?
43:34Well, I don’t know if “right” is the word, you know?
43:37But, I mean, how do I know it’s my path?
43:40How do I realize I’m on it, putting my strength, my resources,
43:44my energy into what’s truly mine?
43:48Look, there are two things here.
43:51One is the thermometer: your body.
43:54If you feel light, if you’re happy, you’re going in the right direction.
44:00If your body feels heavy, you’re not on the right path.
44:04Your body is an infallible thermometer.
44:07And then you have to figure out whether it’s a desire of your soul or ego.
44:14This happens at work.
44:15“I want to be the director of such-and-such,” or “I want to get that
44:21position because I have to prove I’m worthy,
44:25so others can see I’m worthy.” But deep down, my soul is shrinking in horror,
44:31because that’s not where your nature is headed.
44:35How many people are torturing themselves: “Do I take that job?
44:40Do I not take that job?” Because there’s, on the one hand, the ego’s desire,
44:46and on the other, the soul’s desire.
44:49Sometimes these things have nothing to do with you,
44:54and you have to learn to discern. Is this really for me?
44:58Is this what my soul longs for? Your body will tell you.
45:03I’m telling you: it feels light, or it feels heavy.
45:09But sometimes it can still be your path, and fear comes in because you’re like,
45:15“Uh, this is complicated, this is difficult,” but...
45:18Look, I’ll give you an example so people can relate to it too.
45:23When I launched the podcast, I launched it with a lot of uncertainty,
45:28starting out like everyone does: with no subscribers, no listeners, nothing.
45:33So my energy was like, “Wow! I want to try this.
45:36I think it’s interesting to take a chance on a project like this,” but I
45:41had no idea where it would lead.
45:43I had no idea we’d end up with more than a million subscribers. I knew none of that.
45:49But there was a moment when I felt the fear in my body, you know?
45:54If I had to tell you where, I felt it in my chest, I felt it in my stomach.
45:59I felt this intense fear saying, “You’re going to get it wrong,
46:03people are going to judge you.
46:05You don’t know how to interview.
46:08Look at the kind of people who are going to come on here—what are they
46:12going to say to you?” I mean,
46:14it was just a whole lot of criticism, but a huge amount of fear in my body.
46:20And I’ll be honest with you.
46:22The first interviews I did, I was completely paralyzed, you know?
46:26But I did them, and I did them, and I did them. So, of course,
46:30how do I identify whether that heaviness I felt in my body actually
46:35came from a protective mechanism?
46:38I don't know, was it heaviness or was it excitement?
46:43Maybe it was more... Ah, well, good question.
46:46It wasn't heaviness. You wouldn't do it.
46:50Exactly
46:52It’s excitement, but fear is part of it.
46:56Putting your face on the line, as we say in Brazil, is risky.
47:01They’ll criticize you, say things, come at you—anything can happen.
47:06I mean, it’s an act of courage.
47:09But that excitement over a risk you want and are drawn to pushes you forward.
47:16Otherwise, you wouldn’t do it.
47:18Exactly.
47:19And of course, fear is normal: you're doing something new,
47:24you don't know what'll happen, you have no experience.
47:29You have to live it heart-open. So fear is normal.
47:33That fear, to me, is a guide.
47:36Oh, that's curious!
47:38It's the normal fear of something new, because we're attached to the old,
47:45to what we already know. But we have to move forward.
47:50And it's natural to be afraid.
47:53Any new thing, any new relationship, any new job, any new city you've moved to.
48:00Of course there's respect for something you don't know. Let alone death.
48:08You see. Of course, yeah, it's really a primitive fear.
48:12Sure. Sometimes fear is a decoy.
48:15But that doesn't mean throwing yourself in recklessly,
48:20because life doesn't usually thank you for that or support it.
48:26It's about planning it carefully, overcoming your fear,
48:30and jumping in once and for all,
48:33because there's also this excitement of being alive—something new,
48:39something that challenges me.
48:44And what do you think about the role of effort?
48:47Because we also kind of think that success has to come through effort,
48:52and it seems like a lot of people feel as though they’re constantly pushing against
48:58a wall in order to achieve something.
49:01Does this also have to do with attention,
49:04or does the moment when I want to achieve something really need to
49:09feel more fluid and natural?
49:11Or do I need to feel that the effort is there,
49:14that it’s supporting and also holding my attention while I
49:18work toward a specific goal?
49:20Look, if I talk about my life, I’ve lived...
49:24I’ve been working in the same thing for almost forty years.
49:29With effort at points, with great satisfaction at others,
49:33but there came a point when everything started coming to me naturally.
49:39Without effort. When something requires effort, I say,
49:43“This isn’t the way.” But that initial effort. You know?
49:48It’s like you have to build the house,
49:51but then you move into it and make it your own.
49:55So that initial effort to create something—a life, a relationship—is
50:01necessary, but it doesn’t last forever.
50:04It’s the effort of building, and then, if you’re in the right place,
50:09it’s as if things start flowing on their own.
50:13It’s like the ideal circumstances come together.
50:17And if they don’t, that’s okay,
50:20because maybe they’re not supposed to come together there.
50:24Like I was saying about projects and all that.
50:28It’ll come if it’s meant to come.
50:31And if it doesn’t, I’m perfectly happy with the life I have.
50:36I have the experience, and I’m telling you,
50:39there comes a point when things come without effort. And the other day,
50:45someone was asking me about the difference between effort and getting stuck.
50:51You know, when you get stuck on something.
50:55And, of course, physical or mental effort is one thing—because you’ve exercised,
51:01or because you’ve been working for a long time.
51:05You stop, you rest, and you recover.
51:08But that kind of discouragement that comes from effort that’s been
51:14misdirected doesn’t go away.
51:16You can sleep, and you’re still tired.
51:20That leads to burnout, this extreme exhaustion.
51:23Exactly,
51:25because many times burnout comes from an internal struggle with your own issues.
51:32And when you start working those things out, that’s when the river starts to...
51:38Look, I always use a river as a metaphor.
51:42A river that’s blocked because a lot of wood has fallen into it. So what happens?
51:49You remove the wood, and the river flows on its own.
51:53If you remove your inner obstacles, life flows on its own too,
51:59and it takes you where you need to go.
52:02The thing is, those obstacles are about what my ego wants, or whatever,
52:08my resentments— all of that gets in the way of the flow.
52:13It’s about clearing it out.
52:16-It's cleaning -You clean up, it flows.
52:22What would you say are, for you,
52:24the three most powerful blockages you see every day—the things that keep people's
52:30own river from flowing freely and naturally?
52:33Well, one is chronic fear.
52:36You can be afraid to start a business—that’s normal.
52:41But some people are afraid of everything. The other is resentment.
52:47That’s one of the worst, because it also affects your health.
52:54Resentment toward people, your situation?
52:57With situations, with fate.
53:00There are many kinds of resentment.
53:03And, of course, that fear ends up as anxiety,
53:06because we always want our security to be out there.
53:11But if we have inner insecurity, we’re never at peace.
53:15So that inner work is unavoidable.
53:18Because, as I was telling you before, it’s also a beautiful,
53:24sacred task that you’re meant to do. And it’s a task.
53:28You know what’s beautiful about that?
53:31I’m in love with my profession, what can I tell you?
53:36As you begin to understand how things work,
53:39you fall in love with the process—the process of the mind with life, with
53:46emotions.
53:47It’s such a beautiful, harmonious process that you fall in love with life itself,
53:54as you discover it, and you want more and more and more.
53:58But it’s not an anxious kind of more.
54:01It’s more like: “How wonderful! I’ve understood this.
54:06I do that for this reason,” you see?
54:09Now I know why I do that, and I don’t have to do it.
54:14So it’s like taking one little step, then another little step,
54:19and another little step, enjoying each one, because I don’t think it ever ends.
54:26I always say, “Everybody, stay calm—it doesn’t end.” There’s no finish line,
54:32because after that there’ll be another one, and another, and another.
54:38So, let’s enjoy it one little step at a time.
54:43Yeah. Every single day, people also write to the podcast,
54:47sharing with us just how difficult it is for them to find their
54:51why—to discover their purpose,
54:53understand what truly matters to them, and know what direction to take in life.
55:00Ah, the million-dollar question today.
55:04The million-dollar question.
55:05How do we work with our subconscious mind, deep within us, to find that purpose?
55:11Well, I’m telling you: by removing the obstacles,
55:15because many times your own gift doesn’t appear because there’s an
55:20obstacle in your unconscious.
55:23So, as you remove that obstacle, you begin to discover what you really like doing,
55:30what truly nourishes you in life—and it’s always in that direction.
55:36That’s everyone’s purpose.
55:38Then it appears in different places, because we’re all different.
55:43One person is meant to sweep, another to dance, another to do math,
55:49another to teach, another to be a lawyer, another...
55:53Each person discovers what they’re meant to do when they remove the obstacles.
56:00And generally, where do those blocks come from?
56:03Are they from your family?
56:05What’s the biggest block you usually run into?
56:08From the family, even ancestral.
56:11Ancestral too?
56:12Well, you have no idea how many times you find what I was telling you before:
56:19that connection with an ancestor.
56:22And you’ll see the parallel.
56:25For example, women who can’t have children.
56:29Most often, among their ancestors, you find things related to children.
56:35One grandmother had a very difficult situation with her children,
56:41the next one didn’t, the next one did.
56:44I mean, you find that common thread again and again.
56:51And as for purpose, what do you usually find in their ancestors?
56:56People who couldn't pursue what they wanted, or...
56:59That’s a personal gift,
57:01because sometimes families dedicate themselves to something wholeheartedly.
57:07You see generations of doctors, lawyers, business owners,
57:12or people who’ve enjoyed building a business. So there’s a gift there.
57:18But there are also people with nothing to do with that who suddenly
57:23want to be dancers when everyone else is extremely serious scientists.
57:29As you remove obstacles, you say, “Well,
57:32it’s easier to become a doctor if your whole family is in medicine,
57:38because you’ve absorbed it since you were little.”
57:42Right, and you don't even ask what it's for.
57:45Because I like it, because it interests me, because it’s a family connection.
57:52Great, but sometimes it isn’t.
57:54Sometimes it’s completely different, and you have to be able to get there.
58:00So that’s why I’m telling you:
58:03as you remove the “I can’t” and “I have to,” all those things that pull you away
58:09from yourself—things you do to be accepted,
58:13loved, to look good, whatever—as you remove that,
58:17you see what you’re passionate about.
58:20And it’s always along that line: what you’re passionate about, what interests
58:26you, what makes you purr.
58:30If you had to choose, like, two questions people need to start asking themselves,
58:35especially when they’re stuck—stuck with their purpose and all that—what
58:39questions should they ask to start pulling at the thread of the situation?
58:44Well, I’ll say it once again:
58:47the first thing is to start observing what remains in you, what’s inside you.
58:54That’s the first thing.
58:56And observing what’s happening makes you feel light, happy, and content,
59:03because your body will tell you what’s going well and what isn’t.
59:10I mean, like I said, it’s a free, wonderful thermometer.
59:15Body.
59:16But if you don’t pay attention, you don’t notice what’s happening.
59:22I mean, looking inward and feeling what’s happening in here.
59:27I keep repeating it: society is made to look outward. And it’s hard.
59:32Of course
59:33But once you fall in love with the inner process, things come into balance.
59:39You start to be on a good path.
59:42Not just outward, and not just inward, either.
59:48How do you manage, Marly, to keep that tension going for years?
59:52Because we’re constantly scattered, pulled in every direction...
59:57Well, obviously. We also have to forgive ourselves.
1:00:02Hey, every now and then...
1:00:04It's our heart that can't get distracted, because if it goes off for a nap,
1:00:11we stop existing. But our mind can, hey.
1:00:15Every now and then, read Hola.
1:00:19Yeah, you have to read those things.
1:00:22Sure, enjoying simple things or complicated things.
1:00:27I mean, you have to enjoy what is there to enjoy.
1:00:32Because that's a process that has another side too.
1:00:36You can't always be wandering around in the depths of the deepest depths,
1:00:43forgetting to notice what a beautiful day it is.
1:00:48And such a beautiful day is very important.
1:00:52You need the sun, you need the air.
1:00:56So,
1:00:57would you say that part of this whole game of keeping your focus is also enjoying
1:01:02what comes out of your main goal,
1:01:04and stepping outside it every now and then?
1:01:07Well, of course. Of course, otherwise the goal starts to become an obligation.
1:01:14You know? I mean, if you keep treating things as an obligation,
1:01:19you’re going to end up failing.
1:01:22There has to be enjoyment in what you do, because then you do it lightly,
1:01:29with enthusiasm. And then, take breaks.
1:01:32Breaks are absolutely essential. Besides,
1:01:36it’s been shown that you learn much more with breaks than when you just keep going,
1:01:43going, and going.
1:01:45Yeah, it’s like these creative moments come up, these insights of ideas,
1:01:50of things—even when you’re not thinking about your work at all, the things you do.
1:01:56Right. You're on a task, stop for a bit, stop, go for a walk,
1:02:01then come back and absorb it more easily.
1:02:06Okay, good.
1:02:08Well, a pause is one thing, and being distracted is another.
1:02:13Consciously taking a break—and we should really give ourselves lots of them.
1:02:21I mean, go for a walk without your phone, without distractions,
1:02:25without what I have to do later.
1:02:28Well, the phone... better not even go there, wow.
1:02:33It's the biggest distraction in our lives.
1:02:35I feel it's one of the things that makes me most unhappy.
1:02:39Yeah, it’s a little scary,
1:02:41because lately we’ve been seeing that our cognitive abilities are getting weaker.
1:02:48Since you do everything online, through AI, or through whatever it may be,
1:02:55we’re not exercising our cognitive side enough.
1:03:00And that’s a very big concern.
1:03:04That we're losing cognitive abilities too, maybe.
1:03:08Sure, because everything is so automated.
1:03:11There’s no real thinking anymore; it’s being lost.
1:03:16Anyway, that’s an issue, an issue for humanity.
1:03:21It's a deep issue, because right now we don't even know where all this is taking
1:03:26us.
1:03:27You can sense it.
1:03:29You can kind of sense it, but I also feel we're awakening other abilities, right?
1:03:34Those kinds of conversations that connect you more with yourself,
1:03:39awakening abilities you weren't aware of.
1:03:42Well, nature has a law that psychology calls homeostasis,
1:03:47which is the constant search for balance.
1:03:51Life itself is always, always looking for balance.
1:03:56So, well, sometimes we have a peak of something, but I really do trust that,
1:04:03at the end of it all, life...
1:04:06-Finds its way. -Finds its way, yes.
1:04:10Yes, yes. If we’re talking about money, especially,
1:04:14I know there are people who work incredibly hard, who get trained,
1:04:18who do everything we’ve already talked about,
1:04:21but then suddenly they come up against this kind of glass ceiling, right?
1:04:25They’ve achieved one goal, set themselves the next one,
1:04:29but they can’t get past that next step.
1:04:31They fall back again, lose again, and then again...
1:04:34What’s happening there with our unconscious mind?
1:04:37What hasn’t it managed to understand?
1:04:40I don’t know if it’s something about deserving, or what,
1:04:43that stops us from getting past a barrier when we’ve already
1:04:47overcome so many others, right?
1:04:49I mean, we’re on a winning streak, and suddenly we just can’t get beyond it.
1:04:54Well, normally, when you consciously want something and don’t achieve it,
1:05:00it’s because there’s a prohibition in your unconscious.
1:05:05For example, I want to travel,
1:05:08but in my unconscious there’s a memory of danger connected to traveling.
1:05:14It’s going to be a difficult trip; I’ll run into many obstacles,
1:05:19I’ll have a lot of doubts.
1:05:21I’m not sure it’s going to work out.
1:05:24That trip isn’t safe, because the unconscious wins in the end.
1:05:29But if you go to the unconscious memory connected to the trip and work on it,
1:05:36in the sense of removing the stigma it left there...
1:05:42I feel like our mind kind of keeps unlocking certain keys for us, you know?
1:05:48It’s like we start with just one thing, open a door, start growing,
1:05:52expanding our awareness, achieving things, and so on—and suddenly,
1:05:57we have to open another door, and there’s something else we need to work through.
1:06:03I mean, we’re constantly solving one thing after another.
1:06:07Sure, the famous onion layer, right?
1:06:10Exactly
1:06:10Sure, it's a journey, a journey.
1:06:13You work things out; things come up in layers.
1:06:18It never ends. You keep finding things about yourself, mental blocks.
1:06:23Well, yeah, different kinds, but yeah.
1:06:26I mean, I'm not exactly enlightened.
1:06:30Look, we need to be absolutely clear about this.
1:06:35We’re all on the journey.
1:06:37So maybe one thing doesn’t even come up, but the next one appears,
1:06:43because until we’re completely free of everything—well,
1:06:47God knows whether we ever get there or not. What is it like? Does it ever end?
1:06:54That’s why I tell you: enjoy each day’s little step.
1:07:01Because that’s going to open the door to knowing yourself more deeply, right?
1:07:06The Marly from, I mean, thirty years ago—how much have you evolved over the
1:07:12years? What has...?
1:07:13If you could connect with the Marly from twenty or thirty years ago—I’m also
1:07:18going to bring up a concept I want to discuss with you and hear what you
1:07:23think—but if you could connect with her, what would you see? What transformation?
1:07:29What’s something you didn’t understand back then that you
1:07:33understand more deeply today?
1:07:35Well,
1:07:36I’d teach her many things that have become crystal clear over those thirty years,
1:07:43things I couldn’t see back then.
1:07:46Just as now, I may see them later—or not?
1:07:49Yes. And if there’s one thing you’d tell your younger self, what would it be,
1:07:54out of everything you’ve discovered today?
1:07:57We are protected by life. Life protects us.
1:08:01I mean, life carries us, life guides us.
1:08:05Many times, we believe we’re the ones making decisions,
1:08:10when it’s life that decided already, a long time ago, on our behalf.
1:08:17I’m totally convinced of that.
1:08:22So then, what is left for you to do now, here?
1:08:25What, exactly, is your job here, then?
1:08:28Just let go, hey, isn't that enough?
1:08:31I honestly think that’s incredibly powerful.
1:08:34With the ego's little jabs here and there.
1:08:39Letting go of control, so true.
1:08:42Because you have to create your ego.
1:08:45You can’t live here without a personality,
1:08:48but you have to let it go and trust that life will take you where you need to go.
1:08:55And that’s the only solution to fear—there’s no other.
1:08:59Discover that life is your friend and your unconscious is your friend too,
1:09:05because many people talk about the unconscious as if it’s mysterious,
1:09:11bizarre, dangerous. No, no, it’s your friend.
1:09:15Its job is to stay with you in this body and lead you to what you need to do.
1:09:24Do you believe in connecting with your quantum double?
1:09:28Because, well, I’ve been looking into this particular idea,
1:09:32and there’s actually a French physicist named Jean-Pierre Garnier,
1:09:37who said that we all have a double living in a time that we can’t perceive,
1:09:42who is able to explore possible futures and send you information.
1:09:47Do you think that really exists at all?
1:09:50Look,
1:09:51I believe you have an individual soul that’s completely connected to the source,
1:09:58to the origin of everything, and that it would be the best version of yourself.
1:10:05And if you have that mind, that image of yourself in your optimal version,
1:10:12of course it helps you, because it’s like your inner teacher.
1:10:17Your inner teacher is nothing other than you yourself.
1:10:22It’s your soul, which has a purpose, qualities,
1:10:27and gifts that are different from everyone else’s.
1:10:31It’s the idea that we all come from a palette of colors,
1:10:36but one person has more green, another has more blue, another has more red.
1:10:43And that’s what makes us different.
1:10:46That’s why all areas of life can be fulfilled and filled with people.
1:10:53Can you imagine if we were all the same? It’s impossible.
1:10:58So that combination you were given, which is your best version, is like your model.
1:11:08But do we create that consciously?
1:11:11I mean, I close my eyes and I can imagine what this version of Marian,
1:11:15who has everything she wants, is like. Is that what we mean?
1:11:19It’s not the Marian who has everything she wants.
1:11:24It’s the Marian who simply is, who doesn’t need anything.
1:11:28That’s the one who is your model.
1:11:31Of course, the one who wants things is Marian’s ego.
1:11:35The other is the one who is—the one who has everything,
1:11:40who doesn’t have to look for anything, because it’s all there.
1:11:45Everything she needs for the task she came to do in this life is in that Marian.
1:11:52She isn’t necessarily the one with all the desires.
1:11:58And how do I connect with her? How do I know who she is? How am I to know?
1:12:03What does she feel like?
1:12:05Garnier Malet talks about a forty-day period when, at night,
1:12:10you ask for information, which is partly your unconscious and partly your
1:12:16intuition. Look, I can tell you, even though the unconscious is so reactive,
1:12:22it processes things. I often go to bed with a patient’s problem on my mind,
1:12:29and wake up with the solution.
1:12:31So, overnight, the unconscious has worked it out and given me the answer.
1:12:40In dreams? Did she send it? No, just...
1:12:42Not necessarily dreams. The attention game,
1:12:46the method I created—I can tell you that half of it came from what
1:12:52would come to me in the morning.
1:12:54I’d wake up thinking about something that continued what I’d been doing.
1:13:00It was like it had been channeled somehow.
1:13:04And that happens to you many times in life.
1:13:11If we can sum up the attention game in one thing, it’s connecting with that wisdom.
1:13:18Connect with your body, because it holds all the wisdom.
1:13:23It teaches you and guides you.
1:13:25Living in your body is an art; it’s a presence.
1:13:29And it keeps teaching you, because our mind gets tangled up so many times.
1:13:35No matter how brilliant it is, it gets tangled up.
1:13:40It gets tangled up because of ego-driven desires, because we have so many of them.
1:13:47And do you know where the ego comes from?
1:13:50In my view, of course—I’m speaking for myself.
1:13:54We came into this world completely unprotected,
1:13:58because if no one takes care of a baby, it dies. Literally.
1:14:03It has no resources, zero. Total dependence.
1:14:07So we carry that feeling of insecurity inside us all the time,
1:14:12because that’s how we experienced life here:
1:14:16an unknown world of lights and things that suddenly appear.
1:14:21So, throughout our lives, we create a personality that has to know the answers,
1:14:28that has to organize, that has to solve everything.
1:14:32In other words, the exact opposite of being unprotected. And that’s the ego.
1:14:38But, of course, we don’t know how to answer everything.
1:14:43We don’t know how to solve everything.
1:14:46Many times, we make mistakes. It’s okay.
1:14:50But that omnipotent thing the ego wants to be is simply the opposite
1:14:55reaction—the counterbalance,
1:14:58really—to that lack of protection we arrived here with,
1:15:02because this is an unknown world.
1:15:05You’re there inside your mother, all warm, with nothing disturbing you.
1:15:11Everything just comes to you.
1:15:14Look, everything comes to you there.
1:15:17And suddenly you find yourself in a world of lights, noises,
1:15:22and I don’t know what touching you—sensations in your body.
1:15:27All those things that you didn’t have before.
1:15:31It’s a very frightening world.
1:15:33That’s why a mother’s warmth is so important for a baby,
1:15:38because when the baby is born, it can still hear the same heartbeat.
1:15:44Nowadays, many clinics place babies on their mother’s chest immediately after
1:15:50birth,
1:15:51because, as far as possible, it means continuing with what they already know.
1:15:58Other babies are taken away.
1:16:00So it’s a very, very major rupture.
1:16:04So, in that sense, we couldn't live this life without the ego, right?
1:16:09No, of course not. Now, the ego is actually very good.
1:16:14And the more it knows, the better.
1:16:17Now, it has to be at the service of the soul—of that Marian,
1:16:22that Marian in her very best version.
1:16:27It must serve the soul.
1:16:28Of course, he’s not the captain, he’s the sailor.
1:16:33And the sailor is important.
1:16:36But if he wants to be in charge, you’re on the wrong track,
1:16:41because then you stay at the ego level all the time.
1:16:46Which isn’t bad, but it doesn’t lead you to a true recognition of your nature,
1:16:53what really fills your soul with joy.
1:16:57Because many times they’re worldly goals that, even when you achieve them,
1:17:04the satisfaction lasts two or three days.
1:17:07And if you don’t achieve them, the disappointment lasts for a year.
1:17:16Right, right, absolutely.
1:17:17So, what would you say are, like, the most assertive ways, the most powerful ways,
1:17:23or, really,
1:17:24the strongest ways for each one of us to connect with that quantum self—that self,
1:17:30that version of each and every one of us, that quantum version of ourselves?
1:17:35I'm telling you, it starts with observing yourself—everything that brings you joy in
1:17:42being alive.
1:17:43Because sometimes they're simple things, things society doesn't value,
1:17:49but they're the things that make you happy.
1:17:53Not always, but very often.
1:17:56There are almost always very simple things that bring you so much joy,
1:18:02and that's what it's about: moving through this life with a lot of joy,
1:18:08and really wanting more.
1:18:12So you're saying the path will always be about enjoying it too, right?
1:18:17Yes, but it depends on what kind of enjoyment.
1:18:21One thing is the enjoyment that comes on its own, and another is contentment,
1:18:27you know? A feeling of contentment.
1:18:30And then there’s the pursuit of pleasure,
1:18:33because we spend so much energy seeking pleasure and running away from pain.
1:18:39And sometimes pain teaches us, and sometimes pleasure hurts us.
1:18:44Contentment, on the other hand, never does, because it arises on its own.
1:18:52It really is a genuine joy, right?
1:18:55-What? -A genuine joy needing no boost
1:18:57It comes from you, arises on its own—you’re happy and don’t even know why.
1:19:04That’s the good kind.
1:19:06Now, I won the lottery, I’m happy, great, enjoy it, but it’s temporary too.
1:19:13You spend the money, and the joy is over. Nothing against that.
1:19:18But do you get the difference?
1:19:21Of course
1:19:22It's different. I got what I wanted, I'm happy.
1:19:26Then comes another goal, and another, and another. It never ends.
1:19:31You don't know why contentment comes. It's there. Enjoy it.
1:19:39I like understanding this, too.
1:19:42I have a two-year-old boy.
1:19:44And I think children are the best teachers when it comes to showing
1:19:48you what genuine joy in life is,
1:19:51and what absolute presence is, right? Thanks to him,
1:19:54I kind of enter his world and let myself be carried away by the enjoyment.
1:20:00-Be present -Exactly.
1:20:02You know, children feel themselves inside. So, show them a mirror.
1:20:08Mom says, “Look, that’s you.” The child goes, “How is that me? This is me.” See?
1:20:15Sure thing.
1:20:17And it’s about coming back to your presence as a human being.
1:20:23And from there, you move closer to that quantum being, to that quantum self.
1:20:30When you’re okay with yourself and feeling what your nature truly asks
1:20:36for—not to satisfy anyone,
1:20:39but because it’s asking you for it, because it nourishes you.
1:20:44It’s difficult, because our heads are full of goals.
1:20:49We have to get somewhere, achieve something, run from one place to another.
1:20:56Anyway.
1:20:57Well, if you'd like, Marly, let's do our exercise.
1:21:01Okay, so then you say it with the bowl.
1:21:05With the bowl, yes. Explain to us how this is done.
1:21:08Well, I would invite the people watching us to close their eyes
1:21:14for a little while and feel,
1:21:16within their body, that point always giving them trouble.
1:21:21Notice that place, and recognize what it is connected to.
1:21:25We are not going to try to do therapy now,
1:21:29because normally each person is a whole world of events and experiences,
1:21:35circumstances and things that have happened to them.
1:21:39But you can name it, for example:
1:21:42“This loneliness that I feel,” or “This feeling of resentment,” or “This
1:21:47disappointment.” Whatever it may be,
1:21:50whatever your little emotional vice is.
1:21:54We all have an emotional vice, something that keeps repeating itself.
1:21:59It is a pattern that returns again and again.
1:22:03So locate it in your body.
1:22:05Notice in what part of your body that pattern is present.
1:22:10Become aware of the exact place where you feel it, without trying to explain it,
1:22:16change it, or analyze it. Just recognize where, in your body,
1:22:21this recurring emotional pattern has made itself felt.
1:22:26And now, take what you are feeling there, in that specific place in your body,
1:22:32and give it a form. In other words, if it had a shape, what would it be like?
1:22:38Allow the symbol that represents that sensation to emerge from your
1:22:44own mind—the sensation that does not correspond to your being,
1:22:49to what you truly are. Whatever it is, let it be whatever comes.
1:22:54You do not have to choose it deliberately or make it into anything particular.
1:23:00Allow the form to appear.
1:23:02Once that symbol has arisen, concentrate on it, there in that place in your body.
1:23:09Look at the symbol that has come to you and remain aware of it
1:23:14where you feel that sensation.
1:23:17Do not try to force anything to happen.
1:23:20Just stay with the symbol that has appeared,
1:23:23representing what does not correspond to your true self.
1:23:28And now allow the sound that I am going to play for you to act
1:23:33directly upon this symbol. You do nothing.
1:23:36You do not wish for anything, seek any particular result, or interfere in any
1:23:43way. You allow the sound to act upon this symbol and do whatever it has to do.
1:23:49Let that image transform by itself.
1:23:52Let whatever needs to happen happen on its own, without your interference.
1:23:58You do not have to direct the transformation, help it along,
1:24:03or decide what the image should become.
1:24:06Allow it to change in its own way.
1:24:09Let the sound continue acting upon that part of your body,
1:24:14upon that precise place where the symbol has appeared, until the symbol transforms,
1:24:20comes apart, dissolves, and disappears.
1:24:24Continue allowing the sound to act directly on that image and
1:24:29on that place in your body.
1:24:31You do not need to do anything with it, desire that it disappear,
1:24:36or imagine a particular ending.
1:24:39Let the sound do what it has to do,
1:24:42while you remain present and allow the image to transform, break up,
1:24:47and vanish by itself.
1:24:49And now let something truly yours arise from within you and come to
1:24:54occupy that place in your body.
1:24:57Let it be something not learned, imitated, or inherited,
1:25:01but something that has to do with who you really are.
1:25:06Let something genuinely your own emerge from inside you and take the
1:25:11place that has been left open. Again, do not interfere.
1:25:16Let it happen completely on its own.
1:25:19Ask that, from the deepest part of you,
1:25:22something new may arise—something that is yours,
1:25:26something that truly belongs to you—and come to occupy that place in your body.
1:25:32Do not decide in advance what this new thing should be.
1:25:37Do not construct it or imitate something that has come from elsewhere.
1:25:43Allow it to come from the deepest part of you.
1:25:46Something new, something that belongs to you, something truly yours:
1:25:52let it arise from within and fill that particular place in your body.
1:25:58Allow it to come in its own way, without interference.
1:26:02It may present itself clearly, or it may come quietly.
1:26:06What matters is that it comes from you, from the deepest part of you,
1:26:12and takes the place of what has transformed and disappeared.
1:26:17Let the cells in that place absorb whatever comes.
1:26:21Let the cells of that part of your body receive it and take it in.
1:26:26What comes may be an image, a color, a sentence, a word, or something abstract.
1:26:33It may have any form at all.
1:26:35Whatever comes, allow it, because what is coming is truly yours.
1:26:40It is what belongs to you.
1:26:42It is what corresponds to you.
1:26:45It was born with you; it came with you.
1:26:48This is not something that has to be learned now, copied from someone else,
1:26:54or brought in from outside.
1:26:56It is something yours from the beginning,
1:27:00something that arrived with you and belongs to what you truly are.
1:27:05Whatever image, color, phrase, word, or abstract experience appears,
1:27:11let it be exactly as it is. And when you have it,
1:27:15let the cells in that place in your body absorb this new reference.
1:27:20Let them take it in like little sponges soaking up a new reference,
1:27:26becoming saturated with it.
1:27:28Allow this new reference to penetrate deeply into that specific place in your
1:27:34body.
1:27:35Let it move inward, settle there, and let the cells remain impregnated with it,
1:27:42filled with it, and unified with it.
1:27:45Let the cells be soaked through with this reference.
1:27:49It is your reference; it is what is yours.
1:27:52Let it become established throughout that place in your body.
1:27:57Allow your body to receive this new reference fully,
1:28:02as though the cells were little sponges absorbing it and
1:28:06holding it within themselves.
1:28:09Let it penetrate deeply, remain there, and become unified with you.
1:28:14The cells are now saturated with that reference—the reference that belongs to
1:28:20you, the reference of what is truly yours.
1:28:24Allow it to remain deeply present in that part of your body.
1:28:29Let the new image, color, sentence, word,
1:28:32or abstract feeling become familiar to your body.
1:28:36Let the cells absorb it until your body recognizes it and retains it.
1:28:42In reality, you already know this reference, and you have felt it before,
1:28:48because it is yours. You know it at a deep level because it belongs to you.
1:28:54You are not creating something foreign;
1:28:57you are returning to something already part of you.
1:29:01It is a matter of returning there, remembering that this is what you are.
1:29:07Remember that this is who you truly are.
1:29:10Allow your body to remember it as well.
1:29:13Let this new sensation become settled and known within you,
1:29:18not as something imposed from outside,
1:29:21but as something that was there in you and that you are now reconnecting with.
1:29:28When you feel that this new thing has settled deeply within you,
1:29:33and that your body is memorizing this sensation,
1:29:37also remember what has come from inside you.
1:29:41Keep the memory of what arose from the deepest part of you,
1:29:45so that you may reconnect with it again and again.
1:29:49Remember the image, color, phrase, word, or whatever abstract thing came to you.
1:29:56Remember it as your own reference, as what is truly yours.
1:30:01Let your body memorize this sensation.
1:30:04Let the cells retain it deeply, so that you can return to it whenever you need to.
1:30:11You do not have to force that return.
1:30:14Remember what came from within you and recognize that it belongs to you.
1:30:19It is something you have known and felt before, because it is yours.
1:30:25When you feel that this new reference is well established,
1:30:30that it has settled deeply inside you,
1:30:33and that your body has memorized the sensation, then you may open your eyes.
1:30:39When you feel that it is firmly grounded within you,
1:30:43that it has occupied its place in your body,
1:30:47and that you can reconnect with it again, that is when you open your eyes.
1:30:55I don't know if it was you, or the bowl, or everything all together,
1:31:00but it was absolutely magical.
1:31:02I personally feel like I've been on a really, really super amazing journey.
1:31:09It's like the symbol, the instrument of transformation.
1:31:14And the feeling comes along with it. I mean, if you've...
1:31:19Normally, people feel peace, or vitality, or joy,
1:31:24or calm—it depends on what each person needs.
1:31:28But also, it's not something new; it's something familiar,
1:31:34something you've lost along the way or don't remember anymore.
1:31:40But it's already there.
1:31:42It felt to me like, well, maybe because we were talking about the quantum double,
1:31:48but like something that was present in me—something I thought about, intuited,
1:31:53and really knew was there, in my thoughts, in my feelings.
1:31:57And when you said, “Integrate it,” it was like getting it back, right?
1:32:02How did you feel?
1:32:04Like, I was really at peace, honestly.
1:32:09-Yeah. -Peace
1:32:10Yes, yes, yes, yes.
1:32:12That’s the barometer I mentioned before: “I’m at peace, I’m on the right path.
1:32:19I feel alive, I’m on the right path.
1:32:22I feel joy, I’m on the right path.” You can’t let yourself down there.
1:32:30Wonderful. Marly, thank you so much for this gift you've given us.
1:32:35Thanks, darling.
1:32:36This experience has been wonderful.
1:32:38Beyond the words or the conversation, I’m taking away what arose here,
1:32:43the energy that was created here, and that already speaks for itself.
1:32:48Yes, because that energy goes a long way. It goes beyond words.
1:32:54Totally, totally. My intention is for this to come through on screen,
1:32:59so the people who have listened to us, you know, have felt it too,
1:33:03beyond just understanding it with their minds.
1:33:07I'd love that.
1:33:09Absolutely. And, well, if you've stayed with us until the end,
1:33:13I want us to go back to the question we asked at the very beginning:
1:33:18what is it that you want to achieve with your whole being, with all your heart,
1:33:24and that you wrote down below?
1:33:26But now I want to ask you once again: what is your being, your heart, your higher,
1:33:32quantum self, truly longing for in this life?
1:33:35If there's any difference, or you've found something else,
1:33:39leave that right there in the comments too—I’d really love to read what you
1:33:44write. And, Marly, thank you again for this space.
1:33:48Thank
1:33:48I loved having you.
1:33:50Marly, for those who want to learn more, where can they find you?
1:33:55At the Marly Kuenerz Institute,
1:33:57where we teach the therapeutic Attention Game and the master’s
1:34:02in transpersonal therapy, which is about tools we use in the Attention Game.
1:34:09That is absolutely wonderful to hear.
1:34:12So, that's where we are,
1:34:14because our aim is for all that experience from so many years
1:34:20to reach everyday people.
1:34:22Because, when all is said and done, that's what it's about.
1:34:29Anyone can use it
1:34:31Of course, yes
1:34:33I have one more question for you, Marly.
1:34:36It's the one I always ask guests who are joining the podcast for the very first
1:34:41time: what does living large mean to you?
1:34:44Living large is having that tranquility and contentment.
1:34:51-Many thanks -Thanks
1:34:54And with that, I’m going to say goodbye for now.
1:34:57You already know that, whatever you do, whatever it is,
1:35:01always do it in a big way—really go all out, giving it your very best.
1:35:06I’ll see you again in a future episode.
1:35:08Goodbye for now, and take very good care until we meet again.

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