Evan05 2IcebergP2COMM1076 — Transcript

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1. 0:00okay gang here we're picking up with the
2. 0:02next
3. 0:03installment of the iceberg illustration
4. 0:06all right
5. 0:07so we're at the top of page i2 and we
6. 0:10just got done talking about these core
7. 0:12needs that we all have the four types of
8. 0:14needs
9. 0:15right survival security significance and
10. 0:17stimulation
11. 0:19again they play themselves out
12. 0:20differently in individual lives but i
13. 0:22think
14. 0:22every person has those needs pressing
15. 0:26for their attention screaming for our
16. 0:28attention right
17. 0:30well what do we do next well the thing
18. 0:32that we do next is we take
19. 0:34those intense needs into
20. 0:37our everyday experiences our everyday
21. 0:40experiences all right so
22. 0:42again this is where this goes on the
23. 0:44iceberg right we've gone from needs
24. 0:46up here to experiences then we're going
25. 0:48to come back to the next element
26. 0:50and we're just bouncing back and forth
27. 0:52like this okay
28. 0:53i'm going to stop filling it in because
29. 0:55i'm trusting now that you get what we're
30. 0:57doing here
31. 0:58all right so it's it's there
32. 1:02in our ex as a result of our experiences
33. 1:04that we continually accumulate
34. 1:07images images represents the second key
35. 1:11dynamic you see the eye there in the
36. 1:12middle of the iceberg
37. 1:14the second key element of this iceberg
38. 1:16illustration
39. 1:18images images are the emotional
40. 1:22snapshots the mental pictures
41. 1:25and videos that we compile in our
42. 1:28perceptual archives
43. 1:30right so every time we take our core
44. 1:34needs
45. 1:34all of our needs into our experiences
46. 1:37those experiences
47. 1:39affect us in some way and as a result we
48. 1:42begin accumulating
49. 1:43and continue to accumulate images okay
50. 1:46let me talk about two kinds of images
51. 1:48so now you're going off to the side with
52. 1:50that arrow that has the two p's when it
53. 1:54when an experience
54. 1:55satisfies one of our core needs to some
55. 1:57extent
56. 1:58we are left with a pleasurable image
57. 2:02right we take our needs into our
58. 2:03experiences and to some extent
59. 2:05our experiences come through and they
60. 2:07meet a need that we have
61. 2:09to the extent that that happens we're
62. 2:11probably going to be left with a
63. 2:12pleasurable
64. 2:13image a desirable image right on the
65. 2:16other hand
66. 2:17when an experience fails to meet our
67. 2:20needs to some extent
68. 2:22right it fails to meet a deep need to
69. 2:25some extent
70. 2:26we're probably going to be left with a
71. 2:28painful
72. 2:29image a painful image right
73. 2:34now i would suggest to you that if you
74. 2:37think about
75. 2:38all the images that we're accumulating
76. 2:41over the course of our lives so for you
77. 2:43let's say that's about 20-ish years
78. 2:46of the accumulation of images right
79. 2:49they're not all
80. 2:50either pleasurable or painful it's
81. 2:53really more like a
82. 2:54bell curve right where if you thought
83. 2:56about
84. 2:57most of the images are probably
85. 2:59somewhere in the middle they're like meh
86. 3:00i don't know right but then as we move
87. 3:02out to the extremes they're probably
88. 3:04fewer and fewer
89. 3:05to where we get out to the extremes
90. 3:08where some
91. 3:09images a few images we have have been
92. 3:12ecstatically pleasurable
93. 3:14and a few images that we have have been
94. 3:17excruciatingly painful
95. 3:19right so just like when we talked about
96. 3:21dimensions of culture and i talked about
97. 3:23the two archetypal extremes
98. 3:25for each dimension what i told you is
99. 3:28look we're not saying the culture is
100. 3:29either this
101. 3:30or that right it's there really could be
102. 3:32anywhere along the continuum
103. 3:34well likewise images are not either
104. 3:38pleasurable or painful well it depends
105. 3:40on the extent to which
106. 3:42our needs get met or not by those
107. 3:44experiences right
108. 3:46but if you think in those terms okay
109. 3:48this bell curve where most are in the
110. 3:50middle
111. 3:50right and then we kind of move out
112. 3:54i just want to give you a minute to try
113. 3:56to anchor this
114. 3:57into your own life experience just stop
115. 3:59the video
116. 4:00and then answer these two questions that
117. 4:03you see
118. 4:04in the middle of page i2 right i'll
119. 4:07never forget how good i felt when
120. 4:11that would be an example of a
121. 4:13pleasurable image what comes to your
122. 4:14mind when you answer that
123. 4:16when you finish that statement that's
124. 4:18getting you probably thinking in the
125. 4:20direction of
126. 4:22pleasurable images you've accumulated
127. 4:24the second question i'll never forget
128. 4:26how
129. 4:26bad i felt when something
130. 4:30right what kinds of things come to mind
131. 4:31probably the first few things that comes
132. 4:33to mind
133. 4:34come to mind you're like i'm not writing
134. 4:35that down that's too painful even to
135. 4:37write down
136. 4:38right but there are things there you're
137. 4:39like oh man
138. 4:44okay friends i'll give you an example
139. 4:46from my life just to help just to play
140. 4:48along to play fair here
141. 4:50all right so i'll never forget how good
142. 4:52i felt when
143. 4:54i beat bryce skin from beaver creek in
144. 4:57the
145. 4:57wrestling sectional finals okay
146. 5:00uh wrestling was a big deal to me
147. 5:03through high school
148. 5:04and um uh this kid bryce king was a
149. 5:08really good wrestler went to state the
150. 5:09year before ended up going to state this
151. 5:11year as well
152. 5:12the only time we ever faced each other
153. 5:14was in this sectional
154. 5:16final and i mean i have a terrible
155. 5:18memory friends but
156. 5:20i still remember the rep like looking at
157. 5:23over at the ref i can't even remember
158. 5:24what his
159. 5:25face looks like still the ref who lifted
160. 5:27my arm up
161. 5:29after that win because it was such a big
162. 5:31deal to me
163. 5:32again at that time beating this kid in
164. 5:34particular
165. 5:35right that's vivid for me i'll never
166. 5:39forget how bad i felt when
167. 5:41in eighth grade my english teacher ms
168. 5:44weidinger went postal on me
169. 5:47one day she went ape on me one day
170. 5:51because i might have made some
171. 5:53suggestions about her fashion decision
172. 5:56making
173. 5:56i know it might be hard for you to
174. 5:57imagine at this point that i was kind of
175. 6:00a smart mouth kid but
176. 6:02trust me i was i'm trying to grow out of
177. 6:04that still
178. 6:05and so i might have suggested that
179. 6:08garanimals which was something jc
180. 6:10penney's a department store used to have
181. 6:13where if you bought the giraffe
182. 6:15tagged pants and the giraffe tag shirt
183. 6:19the outfit was always you'd be sure the
184. 6:21outfit
185. 6:22uh went you know the shirt with the
186. 6:24pants went together
187. 6:25right fashionably and so i might have
188. 6:27suggested to her that that might help
189. 6:30her
190. 6:30with her fashion decision making you
191. 6:32know being the
192. 6:34all-wise eighth grader that i was
193. 6:37and i'm telling you she went
194. 6:40crazy on me friends i have a terrible
195. 6:43memory i'm not kidding i can't remember
196. 6:44what happened like two days ago
197. 6:46i mean you asked my wife she's like
198. 6:48sweetie do you remember the other day
199. 6:49when we went and i'm like i have no
200. 6:51recollection of this
201. 6:52it's terrible but friends i can remember
202. 6:55the shirt i was wearing the day miss
203. 6:58whitinger
204. 6:59went crazy on me and friends that was
205. 7:03like 45 years ago that's how
206. 7:06vivid that image is i mean let's face it
207. 7:09middle school junior high that's about
208. 7:11as close to hell as
209. 7:13any of us hope we ever get right and so
210. 7:16it was a special time we had some
211. 7:18special bonding during that experience
212. 7:21all right so that's an example i'll
213. 7:22never forget how bad i felt
214. 7:24right now sometimes the images we
215. 7:26accumulate they're kind of a hybrid
216. 7:29right it's it's hard to to figure out is
217. 7:32it
218. 7:33you know is this painful is it
219. 7:35pleasurable
220. 7:36sometimes it's it's in that mix in the
221. 7:38middle right the bell of the bell curve
222. 7:41right let me just tell you one story
223. 7:42about that just to illustrate
224. 7:44okay as i said my twin brother and i got
225. 7:47in trouble a lot
226. 7:49friends just to to give you a picture of
227. 7:51that
228. 7:52by the time i graduated elementary
229. 7:54school i went to a school that was
230. 7:55kindergarten through sixth grade
231. 7:57not once did my twin brother or i
232. 8:01ever receive a satisfactory mark
233. 8:04in the category gets along well with
234. 8:07others
235. 8:09let that soak in for a minute here i am
236. 8:11teaching intro to interpersonal
237. 8:13communication
238. 8:15not once all the way through elementary
239. 8:17to my twin brother and i
240. 8:19ever get a satisfactory mark in that
241. 8:21category
242. 8:22things that make you go hmm well let me
243. 8:25encourage you i had a dramatic turn in
244. 8:26my life story as a 15 year old
245. 8:29that had significant impact on the
246. 8:31trajectory that i've been on ever since
247. 8:33so
248. 8:34take heart but i'll tell you the last
249. 8:36day of sixth grade the last day of
250. 8:39elementary school i remember being out
251. 8:40at recess
252. 8:41and thinking i'm never going to have to
253. 8:44go see mr
254. 8:44trent the principal again yes
255. 8:48and i remember this the bell ringing on
256. 8:51the the side of the building
257. 8:52and that's when all the kids are
258. 8:54supposed to run in and line up
259. 8:56in order to go back into the building
260. 8:58now our
261. 8:59playground area had some different parts
262. 9:01to it i happened to be standing in this
263. 9:03massive grassy area that had some
264. 9:06bike paths cut through it kids had
265. 9:10ridden their bikes so many times that it
266. 9:11had just become dirt
267. 9:13but when it rained significantly right
268. 9:16those
269. 9:16dirt paths would turn into just mud
270. 9:20just really like a mud slip and slide
271. 9:23and that's important because as the bell
272. 9:25rang and i'm saying
273. 9:27yes never again well i have to see mr
274. 9:30trent the principal
275. 9:32there's this flash over here in my
276. 9:33periphery and i glance over
277. 9:35and realize that my classmate carrie
278. 9:38stieg
279. 9:39is running toward the building and she's
280. 9:42about to cross
281. 9:43right in front of me and at that moment
282. 9:46i happen to glance down
283. 9:47and notice that i was right in front of
284. 9:50one of these mud slip and slides and
285. 9:53here
286. 9:54carrie is running in her last day of
287. 9:57school
288. 9:57spring dress flowing and
289. 10:00i looked down at my foot and noticed no
290. 10:04my foot shoots out from underneath me i
291. 10:07don't know how
292. 10:09and clips carry stig's foot as she's
293. 10:11running by
294. 10:13and let me tell you she took flight
295. 10:17she launched like a flying squirrel in a
296. 10:20spring dress
297. 10:21and when she hit that slip and slide
298. 10:24she must have gone 15 feet i mean
299. 10:28when she got up from that journey
300. 10:33brown all the way down mud all the way
301. 10:36down
302. 10:36and she's ah and i was
303. 10:40cause i knew i was getting one more
304. 10:43opportunity to visit mr trent
305. 10:45the principal just to finish out my
306. 10:47sixth grade year
307. 10:48now friends was that painful was that
308. 10:51pleasurable
309. 10:52yeah it was both right so
310. 10:56we're just if it is sort of in the
311. 10:57middle somewhere right it's not always
312. 10:59clearly it's this or it's that
313. 11:02but you get the idea we've got images
314. 11:04all over the place
315. 11:06okay now what do we do next well
316. 11:09we take those images and what we want to
317. 11:12do
318. 11:13is attempt to make sense out of
319. 11:16those images those emotional snapshots
320. 11:19those
321. 11:19mental videos that we've been
322. 11:21accumulating right
323. 11:22both painful and pleasurable in other
324. 11:25words we want to
325. 11:26explain them that's the next
326. 11:29e that's above experience is the word
327. 11:33explain right
328. 11:36all right i'll give you this okay
329. 11:39so that's where we're trying to explain
330. 11:42the images
331. 11:43right we're trying to make sense of them
332. 11:45why so we can figure out how to get
333. 11:48more of the pleasurable ones and avoid
334. 11:51the painful ones
335. 11:52like the plague right we want oh that
336. 11:55was great
337. 11:56how do i get more of those oh that was
338. 11:58horrible i don't
339. 11:59ever want to experience that again how
340. 12:01do i avoid that in the future
341. 12:02so we're trying to make sense of these
342. 12:04images we're accumulating
343. 12:06and it's in the process of trying to
344. 12:08make sense
345. 12:09of the images we're accumulating that we
346. 12:13you know in in the next line in seeking
347. 12:15to explain these images
348. 12:16we develop and refine here comes the
349. 12:20third key dynamic
350. 12:21our beliefs beliefs that's the b
351. 12:25word in the middle of the iceberg
352. 12:28beliefs
353. 12:29we wanted we are developing and refining
354. 12:33our beliefs okay and another way of
355. 12:37saying that
356. 12:37we i mean by that all the pedestrian
357. 12:40hypotheses
358. 12:42that will help us make sense of what's
359. 12:44going on inside here
360. 12:45and out there in the world right we're
361. 12:47trying to develop beliefs how do things
362. 12:49work
363. 12:50what's going on right we get
364. 12:53input that influences our beliefs from a
365. 12:57variety of sources right
366. 12:58parents neighbors friends media school
367. 13:02church etc etc right some of this input
368. 13:05has been constructive some of it has
369. 13:08been destructive
370. 13:10right remember last time we talked about
371. 13:11reflected appraisal in particular
372. 13:14right some of that input's positive sums
373. 13:16negative
374. 13:17some builds us up some feels damaging
375. 13:19and so forth
376. 13:20right now let me talk uh
377. 13:24actually i'm going to stop there and
378. 13:26i'll begin the next video lecture
379. 13:28talking about three
380. 13:30types of beliefs okay so friends you
381. 13:34survived another one we're
382. 13:36we're journeying through this iceberg
383. 13:38illustration
384. 13:39this is such important stuff for you to
385. 13:42reflect on
386. 13:43in terms of what does your personal
387. 13:46iceberg look like
388. 13:47what kinds of things have contributed to
389. 13:50who
390. 13:50you are becoming and why you approach
391. 13:53life the way you do
392. 13:54okay we're picking up uh in a minute
393. 13:57love you guys till i see you
394. 13:58next