YouTube transcript (eqmUBrgnEHg) — Transcript

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1. 0:00If there was one characteristic
2. 0:02that I could give that would make
3. 0:04somebody an excellent salesman, it would
4. 0:06not be the ability to script, it
5. 0:08wouldn't be influence techniques. It
6. 0:10wouldn't be persuasion techniques. It
7. 0:12would be confidence.
8. 0:14If I'm training someone to go recruit
9. 0:15foreign assets to spy on their own
10. 0:18country for America, I need confidence.
11. 0:21Number one, there is nothing else. Would
12. 0:24you all consider me a confident person?
13. 0:26Yes or no? Yes. Okay. I can probably
14. 0:29outconfidence anybody. I never feel a
15. 0:32need to. But I can I can do anything.
16. 0:36But I have the same if not more limiting
17. 0:39beliefs as everybody here. When I Eli's
18. 0:41introducing me 10 minutes ago, there's
19. 0:43something in my head that said
20. 0:44everybody's going to lapse you. They're
21. 0:45going to know you're faking it. You're
22. 0:47full of I don't care if you've
23. 0:48done this for 30,000 hours. I don't care
24. 0:50if you wrote the number one bestselling
25. 0:51book. They're going to know you're
26. 0:52faking it. That's still in my head as
27. 0:55I'm standing here. It's in my head.
28. 0:59It does not go away. So the beliefs we
29. 1:02had as kids, the beliefs about oursel
30. 1:06and what we're capable of and what we
31. 1:07should do, everyone in this room carried
32. 1:11into adulthood without our consent and
33. 1:14without our awareness. What if I had an
34. 1:16alcoholic dad or an parent?
35. 1:19Don't make too much noise. Always ask if
36. 1:22someone needs help. That's the only way
37. 1:24mom's going to like me. So the moment
38. 1:28that those limiting beliefs start coming
39. 1:29up, I want you to get into a habit of
40. 1:32identifying those over and over again
41. 1:35and keeping them in a folder.
42. 1:38And here's the second part. I want you
43. 1:41to keep a running list of the limiting
44. 1:43beliefs and whatever is your most
45. 1:45embarrassing or most powerful limiting
46. 1:48limiting belief and have it really big
47. 1:51right on your desktop, right on your
48. 1:52phone wallpaper. I will never be good
49. 1:55enough
50. 1:56right in front of you. What it's going
51. 1:59to do is make you look at that and say,
52. 2:01"How stupid.
53. 2:04How stupid is this?" Can you convince
54. 2:06your dog with words?
55. 2:09Can you convince your dog with a poster?
56. 2:12Then it's not going to rewire your life
57. 2:13cuz there's an animal brain that makes
58. 2:15all those choices and the animal can't
59. 2:17read. Your conscious mind is going to be
60. 2:20there to remind you that it's very, very
61. 2:22stupid. and the relationship starts to
62. 2:24change very rapidly over time.
63. 2:28So, what I want you to do is pretend
64. 2:30that those limiting beliefs are coming
65. 2:31through a radio station, some kind of
66. 2:33SiriusXM, whatever. I need you to name
67. 2:36that radio station and figure out what
68. 2:38that's called. So, the moment it
69. 2:40happens, what do you have as ammunition?
70. 2:43You know the name of the words that that
71. 2:46we're listening to. So, now this thing
72. 2:48has a name. When we name something, we
73. 2:51take ownership of it. I want you to
74. 2:53imagine yourself, and I want you to make
75. 2:55this as vivid as you possibly can.
76. 2:57You're walking through a mall and you
77. 3:00have a six-year-old kid. You're holding
78. 3:02this kid's hand, and every five or six
79. 3:05steps, the kid looks up at you and says,
80. 3:08"Somebody's going to laugh at you.
81. 3:10They're going to judge you.
82. 3:13It's going to be funny." We would smile
83. 3:15at that
84. 3:17because of the source.
85. 3:19And then you look down at that little
86. 3:22kid and realize that's you.
87. 3:25Those are all the things that kept you
88. 3:27safe as a kid or all the things that you
89. 3:30as a child thought would keep you safe.
90. 3:33The moment we make a decision to hear
91. 3:35those things as fiction, everything
92. 3:38changes. Confidence changes. How do we
93. 3:41trigger limiting beliefs? We push a
94. 3:42little bit outside the comfort zone.
95. 3:44There's no secret five-step formula
96. 3:45technique. Get the hell out of the
97. 3:46comfort zone. The limiting beliefs are
98. 3:48going to come up. Identify them. Write
99. 3:50them down. Put a wallpaper, make them
100. 3:52into a wallpaper of your phone, of your
101. 3:54uh desktop. And what does a dog respond
102. 3:57to? Words or emotion? So, what's the
103. 4:00emotion that's being felt when you see
104. 4:03your limiting belief in big lights? Big
105. 4:06billboard of it. You're like, "Wow,
106. 4:09that's stupid." shame, embarrassment,
107. 4:12anger, but never enjoyment and never
108. 4:15acceptance. You're looking at it's right
109. 4:17there in front of you. Everything
110. 4:19changes.
111. 4:20If you were selling something and you
112. 4:24genuinely believed
113. 4:26and I want you to understand the word
114. 4:27genuine not like self-help seminar
115. 4:29genuine but like real human life
116. 4:32actually believe that your product is
117. 4:35the best in the world and that you
118. 4:38salesperson in the world and that you
119. 4:41can connect to anybody better than
120. 4:43pretty much anybody. Would that be
121. 4:46slightly delusional? Is believing you're
122. 4:49not worth it delusional? Is believing
123. 4:52you shouldn't stand up delusional?
124. 4:54You're alreadying delusional?
125. 4:57All we're doing is picking what we're
126. 4:59delusional about. Why can't I just do
127. 5:02the other thing? I'm already lying to
128. 5:04myself. I'm already delusional. I'm just
129. 5:07going to choose to do the other thing.
130. 5:09And when you start to act confident,
131. 5:12they're going to come up again.
132. 5:14And what our first response to those
133. 5:16those limiting beliefs should be
134. 5:17gratitude.
135. 5:19What would you say to a six-year-old kid
136. 5:21trying to tell you that? Well, thank you
137. 5:23so much. I realize you're trying to help
138. 5:24me. I really appreciate that, but I'm a
139. 5:27I'm a grown-up man now. And that's
140. 5:29what's holding people back. That's
141. 5:30what's holding salespeople back who lack
142. 5:32confidence, managers and leaders and
143. 5:35companies who lack confidence. This is
144. 5:38it. The soil has to come first. The
145. 5:41limiting beliefs have to be number one
146. 5:43priority because the beliefs are what's
147. 5:47under everything. Finally, when it comes
148. 5:50down to confidence,
149. 5:52I want to talk to you about what
150. 5:53confidence actually is. And I think it's
151. 5:56a mixture of two things. So all of our
152. 5:59doubts about confidence, everything
153. 6:01keeping you from confidence is lack of
154. 6:04safety.
155. 6:06Confidence is safety. the words
156. 6:08overconfidence, which is how I described
157. 6:10it to make it seem more dangerous.
158. 6:13Overly confident over what line?
159. 6:16Overconfident people have an advantage
160. 6:18that other people will never from birth
161. 6:21to death, they will never enjoy.
162. 6:24Overly confident people get better
163. 6:26results and better outcomes from humans
164. 6:29than anyone else in the world.
165. 6:32Think Bill Clinton's delusional? You bet
166. 6:34your ass he is.
167. 6:37overconfidence, unfair advantage, better
168. 6:40results than anyone else in the world
169. 6:42when it comes to leadership and
170. 6:44obviously sales. So I said confidence
171. 6:46was about two things. The first thing I
172. 6:47said was safety.
173. 6:49The second thing is a generalized
174. 6:53remember that word not specific
175. 6:55generalized expectation of positive
176. 6:58outcomes. Just basically things are
177. 7:01going to be all right. That's it. Things
178. 7:04are going to be just fine. and I'm
179. 7:06completely safe. I'm at home and I'm
180. 7:09comfortable. Instead of having a
181. 7:11positive affirmation watering the plant,
182. 7:14you change you get rid of the that
183. 7:16the plant's sitting in first and the
184. 7:18roots will change over time. We have to
185. 7:20focus on the hardcore stuff which is at
186. 7:22at the bottom in the soil is where it
187. 7:25matters.