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Episode 50 | How to Find Your Dream Partner After Divorce | Camilla Peterson — Transcript

by Curtis J Morley · 12,136 words · 2,277 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Hi, welcome back to the counterfeit
0:01emotions podcast. I'm Curtis Morley and
0:04I'm an emotionologist. And today on the
0:07show we have a special guest, Camilla.
0:10She is she's helped over 100 people in
0:14success in business, but what she's
0:16really known for
0:17is being able to call in your dream
0:20partner.
0:22Being able to get to a point where you
0:25become the person
0:27that attracts the one you are hoping to
0:30live the rest of your life with. And I'm
0:33so excited to have this conversation
0:35around dating, around what to do after
0:37divorce, around um love. Just love. And
0:42she's a coach, she's a neurolinguistic
0:44processor, she's registered, actually
0:47trains other people in neurolinguistic
0:49processing, um so many other things.
0:52Let's dive in. Welcome, Camilla.
0:54>> Thank you, Curtis.
0:55>> So glad you're here.
0:57>> Yeah, I'm excited.
0:58>> So [clears throat]
0:59So you haven't always been a uh
1:02relationship coach.
1:04Um
1:04what got you into the field?
1:07>> Well,
1:09you know, af- getting into the field I
1:12I was actually in I had a business for
1:15about 7 years at that time, a dental lab
1:18and a dental tech school on the side.
1:20And
1:22after 7 years just got really stuck and
1:24plateaued in business and
1:27tried everything like
1:31just everything I could think of and
1:33just was still stuck. And when the lows
1:36were low, they were low, and when the
1:38highs were high, they were high.
1:40And I was just so tired of the constant
1:43roller coaster
1:44and just by accident some person not by
1:48accident. I don't really believe in
1:50accidents, but someone came into my life
1:53that
1:54he did the same peop- the same thing,
1:57did NLP and timeline therapy, and I just
2:01I had to do like a breakthrough session
2:02with him.
2:03>> Mhm.
2:04>> So, hired him, and 2 months later, we
2:08quadrupled our income, went really big
2:10in our business.
2:11>> Quadrupled in 2 months?
2:13>> Yeah. Yeah, it was insane.
2:16>> Okay, we might need to hear that story.
2:17That's incredible.
2:18>> Yeah, like my mind started working way
2:21different.
2:23And the thing is is that like it took me
2:26to a moment in a past life that unlocked
2:30something inside of me
2:32that for the first time I felt worthy of
2:34success.
2:36>> Mhm.
2:36>> And so, letting that go and realizing
2:41like
2:42it kind of unlocked
2:44so much inside of me, I just I started
2:47performing different and not being
2:49scared anymore, and
2:51and I've
2:53I don't know. It just changed my entire
2:55life. So, later on, I became trained,
2:58and then I started coaching people right
3:00off the get-go.
3:01Uh helped like a lot of MLM teams, and
3:06um
3:07I just people started asking me like,
3:09"How How is this working? How Like it's
3:12magic."
3:14And I'm like
3:15>> Well, yeah, quadrupling revenue in 2
3:17months.
3:17>> Yeah.
3:18>> That's pretty magic.
3:18>> Yeah, and on average, like my clients
3:21get results within 2 months.
3:23So,
3:25>> Wow.
3:25>> Over time, I thought, "Okay, how about I
3:28become a certified trainer, and then
3:31I'll equip you with the tools so that
3:33you can have the tools to have your own
3:36success and keep breaking through every
3:39level that you want to reach." Cuz we
3:41always reach new levels, you know, we we
3:44get to that we
3:45achieve that goal, and then we make new
3:47goals. So, we're constantly going
3:50beyond.
3:51>> Mhm.
3:51>> And so, um people just get kind of stuck
3:54in plateaued, and so, anyway,
3:57so, I became a trainer and started
3:59training
4:01people for probably 5, 6 years. I think
4:05it was last January I became a master
4:07trainer. It takes 5 years to do that.
4:09>> kidding.
4:09>> Yeah. So,
4:11>> Wow.
4:12>> Um one day when I became a master
4:14practitioner, I thought, I want to be
4:17the Ancient One in Captain Marvel.
4:19>> [laughter]
4:21>> And so, that was like my thing. I'm
4:23going to be the Ancient One and help
4:25people, you know, like totally change
4:29their minds and tap into their limitless
4:32potential and release the magic within
4:35them and so, I was a little woo-woo
4:37there for a while and then I became
4:39grounded one day and
4:41>> [laughter]
4:43>> Um but, yeah, I It was actually after 20
4:48years of a marriage that
4:51my husband had fallen out of love with
4:53me that it took me on a whole different
4:56journey of loving myself.
5:00And
5:01>> Could Can we pause right there?
5:02>> Yeah.
5:03>> I really like how you phrased that.
5:05That you had to go on a different
5:07journey.
5:08>> Yeah.
5:09>> So, can we Can we dive into What was the
5:12original journey?
5:14Like you said it you had to find a
5:16different journey of loving yourself.
5:18What was the journey before? Why did you
5:20have to make that shift?
5:22>> Well, I think that, you know, I pushed
5:24all my love out to everyone else
5:28and people pleased everyone else and
5:30became someone that everyone else, at
5:33least my idea, what everyone else
5:36thought I should be.
5:38>> Mhm.
5:39>> And giving my love to everyone else
5:40because they were all more important
5:42than me.
5:42>> Mhm.
5:43>> And when I detached
5:47like even from my children energetically
5:50because
5:52like they actually chose their dad to
5:53live with and
5:55that like severed
5:57like that broke my heart.
5:59So, it was like this breaking down of
6:02who I was before and rebuilding a new me
6:07that had no idea who me was anymore.
6:11And I realized I had no more love from
6:15me once I let go of
6:17those attachments
6:19and just became me and I felt so empty
6:23and loveless and
6:25>> So so when
6:27I want to dig in right here. When you
6:29when you detached, you felt empty?
6:31>> Yeah.
6:32>> So so that that is really important
6:36aspect to focus on because it wasn't you
6:39detached and you felt happy and full and
6:42complete. It was you detached and felt
6:44empty.
6:44>> Yeah.
6:45>> So then at that point where where did
6:48that journey take you?
6:49>> It actually took me to
6:52a journey of just wanting to die to be
6:54honest.
6:55>> Mhm.
6:56>> But you know, one thing I've learned
6:58about
7:00wanting to die is it's not us needing to
7:03die physically. There's an aspect of
7:06ourselves that
7:08needs to die within us.
7:11Like the persona and identity that I
7:14thought
7:16I ought to be and should be needed to
7:18die.
7:20So I could find the true essence of who
7:22I am.
7:24So and that doesn't feel good.
7:27>> Yeah.
7:28>> think of when I a real person dies. It
7:31doesn't feel good.
7:32>> Mhm.
7:32>> So to be a living being, a living
7:35breathing being to
7:38know that that person can no longer live
7:43because it it's all dying and going
7:46away.
7:48It It kind of counterfeits
7:50[clears throat]
7:51like it's a it's an illusion of some
7:54sort.
7:55Because what changed in 1 second? You
7:58know, what How is it possible that in 1
8:00second you could feel so empty
8:02and unlovable when the moment before you
8:05were fine.
8:08>> Yeah.
8:08>> It doesn't make sense. I didn't do
8:09anything different
8:11other than
8:14>> Um
8:15there was an episode I did with um Do
8:18you know Brandy Vega or Fisher from
8:20Promise to Live?
8:21>> Love Brandy.
8:22>> She's amazing.
8:23>> Yeah.
8:24>> She's doing so much good in this world
8:26and Brandy
8:27and we we talked about you know her
8:29platform Promise to Live and if anyone
8:32hasn't gone there, please go to promise
8:34number two live.org and make the promise
8:38that you will reach out when things are
8:40low.
8:41>> Yes.
8:42>> But when we had this conversation right
8:43here in the studio,
8:45she said something so profound and so
8:48important. She said, "People don't want
8:51to end their lives. [snorts]
8:52>> Mhm.
8:53>> They want to end their pain."
8:54>> Yes.
8:56>> And we post that as a clip on Instagram.
9:00And when we did,
9:02we got amazing responses from a lot of
9:04people. Thousands and thousands of
9:06people liked it, commented.
9:09But then I was surprised because I also
9:11got thousands and thousands of people
9:13saying, "You have no idea. Why would you
9:16say this? That I want to die. It's my
9:19right to die." And it was so
9:22disheartening for me because I've had
9:25friends take their lives.
9:26>> Yeah.
9:27>> And I
9:29I'm doing all I can to prevent that, but
9:31what you said,
9:33I think takes a completely different
9:35>> Yes.
9:36>> look at this aspect of of maybe we do
9:40need to die in the sense of our
9:43identity.
9:43>> Our identity needs to die.
9:46>> And
9:47>> And not our bodies, [clears throat] not
9:48our life, not our journey.
9:50>> And that I think that's the
9:51misunderstanding because yes, I want to
9:54validate how they're feeling and yeah,
9:57that's hard to hear. It it's almost like
9:59as if someone doesn't understand, but
10:02what they don't understand is that life
10:05is worth living.
10:06>> Yeah.
10:07>> Life life is a journey and we
10:11it's actually to feel that pain is
10:15really important actually.
10:17Because you're not numbing yourself.
10:19Many people numb themselves.
10:21So to feel the pain actually means
10:23you're alive. You're more alive than
10:26ever.
10:28Which is so contradictive. It's like
10:30this huge
10:32conflict, right? Because it's like so
10:35much pain to bear.
10:37>> Yeah.
10:38>> Yet so much aliveness at the same time.
10:41>> Yeah.
10:41>> [laughter]
10:42>> There's a song by Oasis, um, Iris, and
10:45it says, "I bleed just to know I'm
10:46alive."
10:47>> Yeah.
10:48>> And because of that pain, that pain is
10:50that reminder that you are alive.
10:53>> Absolutely. And the deeper, the more
10:56pain you are, uh,
10:59capable of feeling in the not-so-good
11:02pain,
11:03the more
11:05pleasure
11:07you are capable of feeling.
11:09>> True joy.
11:10>> Yes. And And that's what's amazing
11:12because
11:14if you can feel that much, which is
11:16completely temporary,
11:18I mean, this was 3 years ago for me. So,
11:22the aliveness and pleasure I feel now
11:25because of those moments. I found my
11:27purpose in those moments.
11:29>> Mhm.
11:30>> I actually did attempt one time.
11:33>> Mhm.
11:33>> And
11:35the universe wouldn't have it for me.
11:38And all of a sudden, I had this
11:40realization I have a purpose.
11:43And I cussed at my at the universe.
11:46Cuz I was like,
11:48"Dang it! I have to actually live."
11:52And
11:53I found this new I It was
11:56Okay, it wasn't overnight. It took time.
12:00But it was this rebuilding of of my
12:03heart, this rebuilding of who I am
12:06without anyone around. Oh my gosh, I
12:09have options of who I want to be now.
12:12Cuz I don't have to be that person
12:14anymore.
12:16And
12:17>> Mhm.
12:18That's so powerful.
12:19>> Yeah, it really was a journey to finding
12:22love within myself and for myself and
12:25for my life.
12:28And
12:29then
12:31when I was ready and
12:33I started helping other people do the
12:35same thing in a whole new way than I had
12:37done in my career 5 years prior.
12:41And so
12:43now being on the other side and helping
12:46people call in their dream partner and
12:49realize they are lovable, realize that
12:51they are worthy of love, realize that
12:54they have more to life.
12:57And I mean, I've
12:59I've helped a lot of people that were at
13:00the edge, too.
13:01>> Mhm.
13:03>> Um
13:03I mean
13:05the more complex the problem for a
13:07person, the
13:08the greater fulfillment I have.
13:10>> Yeah.
13:11>> Because it's easy for me, but when
13:12you're in a problem, you can't really
13:14see it, you know?
13:15>> Yeah.
13:16Yeah, and going like we share similar
13:19experiences. Married 20 years.
13:22And yeah, had just heartbreaking divorce
13:27and
13:28went through all of that and there was a
13:31part of me that had to die.
13:33>> Yeah.
13:34>> And that was nice guy Curtis.
13:37Nice guy Curtis had to die.
13:39>> Yep.
13:40>> In order for me to emerge.
13:44>> Mhm.
13:44>> And if you would have asked anyone 10
13:47years ago
13:48like who is Curtis? They'd be like, oh,
13:50he is the nicest guy you will ever meet.
13:52>> Yeah.
13:53>> And I hope I never hear those words
13:55again.
13:55>> Yeah.
13:56>> Because
13:57nice is the counterfeit of kind.
13:59>> It is.
14:00>> I don't want to be nice anymore. I want
14:02to be kind.
14:03>> Yeah. I heard this term term a little
14:06while ago, too, about the difference
14:07between niceness and kindness.
14:10And I was like, well, that's weird.
14:11>> Right? [laughter]
14:12>> Yeah, but then it made sense because
14:16um
14:17actually when I met my the new love of
14:19my life, well, my dream partner,
14:237 months ago, he told me he's from
14:25Brazil and he told me that people
14:28you have to be nice to people and not
14:30really tell them to their face
14:33the kind things
14:36that are more kind like hey, you
14:39you have, you know, a booger hanging
14:41down from your nose or something, right?
14:43>> in the teeth and the yeah.
14:44>> of it like they would just ignore it.
14:47>> Yeah.
14:47>> But the kinder thing to do, I mean,
14:49nobody wants to walk around like that.
14:51>> No.
14:52>> Not at all. It's it's embarrassing to be
14:54pointed out, but it's more embarrassing
14:56to not be pointed out, right?
14:58>> Oh, yeah.
14:59>> So,
15:00he's been teaching me how to be nice.
15:03>> [laughter]
15:04>> And I'm like, no.
15:07I I can't lie. I I can't wear a mask and
15:12pretend like someone I'm not. That
15:15person died a long time ago.
15:18>> Yeah.
15:19Yeah.
15:20That's so important. And And I love I
15:24love how you say that you teach people
15:27how to call in their dream partner.
15:29>> Yeah.
15:29>> And I I love that that this this is the
15:32focus of this episode is calling in that
15:34dream partner because um when you said
15:37that for me, that is exactly what
15:39happened.
15:40That is It was
15:43I I dated and dated and dated and dated.
15:46Like in the time I was divorced until
15:48now,
15:49um I dated so many women, amazing,
15:53wonderful people, but
15:55I was just going through the motions. I
15:58was on the apps and I was swiping left
16:01or right and I'm I was going on the
16:02dates and and um had a few girlfriends
16:06along the way that were amazing,
16:08wonderful, wonderful people,
16:10but it wasn't until
16:13it wasn't until I got down on my knees
16:15and I said, "God,
16:18if you want somebody in my life,
16:20I'm here. I'm ready to accept her and
16:24love her and be with her, but I'm just
16:27going to focus on helping
16:29the world and my children and and that's
16:32it. That's all I'm going to be doing. So
16:35all I'm here. Let me know. Let me know
16:37if you need need me to have a partner or
16:39want me to have a partner, but for the
16:41time being,
16:43I'm deleting all my apps. I am
16:46getting rid of
16:48all the everything and it's like I'm
16:52done. Just let me know and I'm just
16:54going to work on me and work on doing
16:56good in the world.
16:57>> Yeah.
16:58>> And it was incredible what happened
17:02right after that.
17:03As soon as I let go of I have to be the
17:07one that is, you know, sending out the
17:10hooks and reeling people in and
17:13and just let things go.
17:15>> Yeah.
17:16>> All of a sudden the magic happened.
17:18>> Yeah. And you know, I feel like
17:21that's the easiest part is once you
17:24finally do let go.
17:26>> And that's the easiest?
17:27>> Yeah.
17:28>> Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on.
17:30Okay, you got to tell me more. That's
17:32the easiest.
17:32>> let go, yes, that's the easiest part.
17:36>> Okay, cuz that was that was difficult
17:38for me.
17:39>> It's the before and
17:41during the process. That's why it's
17:42difficult during the process of letting
17:44go.
17:45>> Okay.
17:45>> Yes.
17:46>> Okay. So so what does that mean? Like
17:49what's the practical application behind
17:51that?
17:51>> Well, because if you rewind the movie in
17:54your mind of before and the struggle
17:57and the counterfeit thoughts
18:01that you have before that moment.
18:04Because you said you started lighting up
18:06after you let go cuz you said, I let go
18:09and then the most amazing thing
18:11happened.
18:12>> Yeah. Yes and
18:14>> But but yeah.
18:15>> And this is right here. Let Let just
18:19show you what that was.
18:22Like this is this is my Patty.
18:24>> Yeah.
18:25>> And she is the most amazing person I've
18:29ever met.
18:29>> Yes.
18:30>> Absolutely just incredible human.
18:33>> imagine such an incredible woman you
18:37would be paired with, right?
18:38>> Oh, I
18:40multiple times a day. Like literally
18:42multiple times a day I'm just astonished
18:44>> Yeah.
18:44>> that I get to life with her. That like
18:48she [snorts] is that incredible. And and
18:51it doesn't I don't I don't say that in a
18:53self-demeaning way.
18:55>> No.
18:56>> I say it in the fact that I didn't know
18:59marriage could be this joyful. I had no
19:02idea marriage could be this good.
19:05And multiple times a day I'm just like
19:07wow
19:08>> You like kind of pinch yourself, huh?
19:09>> Yes, I'm just [laughter] the pinch
19:11yourself moments like did this is this
19:13really happening?
19:14>> Yeah.
19:15>> And it is so good. It was beyond my
19:18comprehension before.
19:20>> Yeah. And that's why we have such a huge
19:23desire, right? Because
19:26the thing is is that she is a reflection
19:30a direct mirror of who you are
19:32outside yourself.
19:35>> I am a huge believer in the relationship
19:37pendulum.
19:38>> Yeah, you're each other's mirror big
19:40time. The biggest mirror you could ever
19:42see.
19:42>> [laughter]
19:43>> I'm a huge believer in that. Have you
19:45heard this term the relationship
19:46pendulum?
19:47>> No, I I don't I don't think I have.
19:49>> So
19:50so the idea is however far from center
19:53you are
19:54>> Mhm.
19:55>> is the level of person you're going to
19:57attract because as you swing back and
19:59forth
20:00>> Yes.
20:00>> that's where you're going to find that
20:02person. And the closer to center you are
20:04>> Yes.
20:05>> the closer to center of the person
20:07you're going to attract.
20:09>> Yes.
20:10>> And
20:12>> Yeah.
20:13Yeah.
20:13>> Yeah. So people wonder how well how do I
20:17get become magnetic? How do I you know
20:20manifest my partner? How do I
20:23you know,
20:25create this or be this or cuz you know
20:27the saying, you have to be who you need
20:30to be in order to
20:32have that.
20:33Whether it's a partner, whether it's a
20:35business success, or whatever, right?
20:38>> Mhm.
20:39And it's a lot of inner work.
20:42>> Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.
20:45>> know I know
20:46>> Yes.
20:47>> that even a year ago
20:50even a year ago before I met my partner.
20:52We've been together for 7 months. So,
20:54even a year before, there was still like
20:57some uncertainty and conflict resolution
21:01pieces in relationship I hadn't
21:05figured out and I was scared still and
21:08from prior relationships, too. Because I
21:11I I don't know about you, but it's like
21:12the more relationships you have, the
21:14more it proves that you're not
21:19>> [laughter]
21:21>> the one for
21:23Right, like
21:23>> Yes.
21:24>> It kind of starts compounding and
21:27>> Yeah.
21:28>> I was to a place where I was like
21:30I don't even know if I'm ever going to
21:32figure this out because
21:343 years after leaving a 20-year
21:38relationship
21:39and I still haven't found my partner and
21:42yet I'm helping everyone else. Like,
21:44where is
21:45when am I going to find
21:47the person of my dreams?
21:49>> Yeah.
21:49>> And I was like, am I really like the
21:51most broken person in the room? Yet I'm
21:54teaching people.
21:56You know?
21:58>> Mhm.
21:58>> And so
22:00it's also a process of like
22:04people say a lot, I hate dating. It's
22:06the worst. It's da da da da. But if you
22:09feel that
22:12imagine what you're taking into every
22:14date.
22:15>> Oh, yeah.
22:15>> That energy.
22:17So, I teach my clients how to actually
22:19start love It's loving to date. And how
22:22every person that comes your way is a
22:24lesson.
22:26>> Mhm.
22:26>> Whether that's someone you needed to
22:28tell no.
22:30Or whether that's open like finding your
22:33voice.
22:34>> Mhm.
22:35>> And explaining that I need to stand my
22:38ground in this boundary.
22:40Or that you know, you can tell too how
22:44how your projections are going inside by
22:46the next person that shows up.
22:49>> So, what do you mean by that?
22:51>> Yeah. So, because our partners are a
22:54direct mirror. So are the people we
22:56date.
22:57>> Mhm.
22:58>> So, you can tell where you are in your
23:00inner journey
23:02by the next person that shows up. So, a
23:05lot of the times we point our finger at
23:06the other person.
23:08But like so if somebody is
23:12I don't know, they show up first meeting
23:14and you find something that you just
23:16don't like about them. That's actually
23:18aspects in yourself you're avoiding.
23:20>> Mhm.
23:21>> Yeah.
23:21>> So,
23:22you can see where you're at on the
23:24pendulum.
23:25>> Yes.
23:25>> Based on the person on the other side.
23:28>> Yes.
23:29And that's the counterfeit piece because
23:32that's the piece we're not wanting to
23:33look at.
23:35So, it's tricking you by saying, "Oh, I
23:38hate dating because this person."
23:40>> Yeah. Yeah.
23:41>> You're saying you hate dating because of
23:43other people when you're dating
23:44yourself.
23:45>> Yep.
23:47>> And you're getting to know different
23:48aspects of yourself you never knew
23:50about. Because think about it, there's
23:53no other Curtis. Right? There's no other
23:56Camilla. So, every person I meet,
23:59they're also
24:01experiencing a whole different aspect of
24:03themselves that they've never
24:04considered.
24:05>> Mhm.
24:07>> So, I represent something for them, too.
24:10>> And and bringing it back to to what you
24:13said, you teach them how to get into
24:16loving dating.
24:18>> Yes. Yeah.
24:18>> And
24:20and I'll never forget
24:22I when when I first got divorced, I
24:24said, "I'm never getting married again.
24:26I am just not doing that over."
24:28I told my friends and my family, I'm
24:30like, don't try and set me up.
24:31>> Yeah.
24:32>> I don't want to date. I'm done with
24:33marriage. This is This is it.
24:35>> Yeah.
24:36>> And um and then a friend said, "Hey, I'm
24:39going on this hike. You want to go on a
24:40hike with me?" I'm like, "Sure." I show
24:42up and it's a singles hike.
24:44>> Oh, [laughter] nice.
24:46>> And it was up to Horsetail Falls.
24:49>> Nice. [clears throat]
24:49>> Which is beautiful. I love that hike.
24:51But um I'm like, "Oh, okay. This is not
24:54what I was expecting, but all right.
24:56Let's go for it." So, as we're as we're
24:59climbing, it's it's about a 2 and 1/2
25:01mile hike up to the falls. And as we're
25:04climbing, um I just start talking to
25:07people.
25:08And I was so fascinated because the
25:11women I would talk to, I'm like, "Well,
25:14tell me your experience." Like and just
25:16trying to get curious and
25:17>> Yeah.
25:18>> and it was almost 100%. It wasn't 100%,
25:21but it was almost 100% that said a
25:24couple things like, "Oh, my ex is a
25:27narcissist." Or
25:28>> Yeah.
25:29>> over and over again I heard that
25:31multiple And this was a pretty big
25:32group. So, I was just bouncing between
25:34people.
25:35>> Yeah.
25:35>> And um "Oh, yeah. My husband's a
25:37narcissist." And just repeatedly. And
25:40then I went and talked with the men.
25:43>> Mhm.
25:44>> And the men were like, "Oh, my ex she
25:46was absolutely crazy. She was insane.
25:49She had borderline." All these things.
25:51And I'm like, and so I asked every
25:53single person. I said like, "Oh, wow.
25:55Your husband's a narcissist.
25:57Wow. Did Was he diagnosed?"
26:00"Oh, well, no."
26:01>> Yeah.
26:02>> And then "Oh, my my wife was crazy. Oh,
26:04she was diagnosed with psychopathy?"
26:06"Oh, no."
26:08And
26:09each person So, I didn't get the whole
26:11group, but there must have been
26:14maybe 20 30 people. But I got the large
26:17majority of the group and it was almost
26:19100% that they both said, "Oh, my ex was
26:22this. My ex was that." And I was and I
26:24looked around, I'm like, "Okay, let's do
26:26some logic here.
26:28If all of you were married to
26:30narcissists and all of you were married
26:33to crazy women,
26:35what is the likelihood you're not a
26:36narcissist or a crazy?
26:38>> Yeah,
26:39that's the thing.
26:40>> And
26:41and like the statistics would prove that
26:43if that were the truly the case, which
26:45it wasn't because none of them were
26:47diagnosed,
26:47>> Yeah.
26:48>> then um then that would reflect back on
26:51them, just like you were saying. That
26:52would reflect on on them and where
26:55they're at.
26:56>> Yeah. Well, I find the whole narcissist
27:00thing really fascinating because years
27:02ago, do you know JP Sears?
27:04>> Yeah, yeah.
27:05>> Love the guy. He does really funny
27:07stuff. He has this video called uh how
27:10to deal with a narcissist.
27:12>> Okay.
27:12>> Okay.
27:13And he talks about the
27:16the opposite end of what a narcissist is
27:20and talks about the opposite is a
27:22patheticist.
27:24>> [laughter]
27:25>> Yeah.
27:26>> I've got to watch this clip. I don't
27:28think I could do this.
27:29>> Yeah.
27:30>> the patheticist.
27:31>> Okay.
27:31>> So, whenever I hear someone say they're
27:33a narcissist, I think, well, then you're
27:35a patheticist.
27:36>> The other side of the spectrum. Yeah,
27:38the other pendulum.
27:39>> And the [clears throat] what the common
27:41thing in between both of them is is
27:45insignificance.
27:48So, basically, they attract someone that
27:52is the opposite to help them lift them
27:55up and help this person
27:57go down and prove to themselves
28:00that they are the opposite while
28:03attracting the other.
28:05>> Wow.
28:05>> Yeah. So, the insignificant person
28:08already feels so insecure and
28:10insignificant within themself already
28:13when they meet the person, the other one
28:15is overly confident within themself
28:18that the aspects reflect in each other
28:20in the opposites that they are both just
28:23insignificant
28:25unconsciously.
28:27So,
28:28they want to say the other person is
28:30this.
28:31>> Yeah.
28:31>> Right, and label them when they are the
28:34same just expressing it differently.
28:37>> Yeah.
28:39>> So
28:40>> true.
28:40>> Yeah.
28:41>> It's so true.
28:42>> When they're all lies.
28:45>> Yeah.
28:45>> Because when you find the neutrality of
28:48it,
28:49they just are who they are.
28:52So if they actually did the inner work
28:54and let go of what all the anger that's
28:56feeding it and all the sadness feeding
28:58it, right? And the fears in
29:00relationship.
29:02Like that's why the inner work is so
29:04important before you call in your dream
29:06partner. Because
29:09that those energies and those
29:12insignificant feelings within a person,
29:15whether it's not enough or not worthy of
29:17love, or, you know, they don't believe
29:20that their person is out there out of 2
29:23billion people, right?
29:25>> Yeah.
29:25>> And or they're unlovable like I felt,
29:28you know, then I'm going to find the
29:31unlovable to lovable version of a person
29:35to make up the difference for my
29:37unlovability and I actually did.
29:40For a while there. Very toxic
29:42relationships. You magnetically
29:45bring in the very thing that's going to
29:48teach you the lesson. Whether it's a
29:50good lesson or not, it's your choice.
29:52>> Yeah.
29:54>> So
29:55>> Yeah, that's so true. And I I think you
29:58hit on something really key is is the in
30:03that not enoughness.
30:06We we can let ourselves become victims.
30:09>> Oh, yeah.
30:11>> And I I believe that being a victim,
30:15you're still going to call in someone.
30:17>> Mhm.
30:17>> Just like we talked about that that
30:19pendulum swinging. You're still going to
30:22call in someone.
30:23>> Yeah.
30:24>> But to find your dream partner, that I
30:27believe the victim mentality is the
30:30number one deterrent to calling in your
30:32dream partner.
30:33>> Definitely. Definitely.
30:36And you know, I see posting on social
30:39media too when these people have
30:41breakups and they just throw the person
30:44under the bus that they just broke up
30:45with. And I'm like,
30:47do you not see yourself
30:50in the direct mirror that you are
30:54acting in? Like you are like no wonder
30:58why this isn't working for you.
31:01>> Yeah.
31:01>> You know, when we throw another person
31:03under the bus, we're actually explaining
31:05ourselves of who we are.
31:07>> Yeah.
31:09Yeah.
31:10It was funny as I as I got into the
31:12dating world, I eventually did agree to
31:15date.
31:16>> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah.
31:17>> Um which is wonderful.
31:19>> Yes.
31:19>> But when I finally did, um it was it was
31:23almost like it was it was on repeat.
31:25Like somebody had just hit the repeat
31:27button on the song and it was just one
31:29date after another and it was sit down
31:32at the table,
31:33order the food, do the niceties, and
31:35then, "Okay, what's your story? What's
31:37your story?" And and it was just a whole
31:41lot of barfing on the table of, "Well,
31:43this is my ex. This is
31:46And and I finally got to the point and I
31:48said,
31:49I said in dating,
31:51like instead of starting that way,
31:53like they would
31:55they would say, "So, tell me about your
31:56ex."
31:58And [clears throat] I would say,
31:59"You know what? I would actually like to
32:01get to know you."
32:02>> Yeah.
32:03>> And I would love you to get to know me
32:05first before we go there. Would that be
32:08okay if we just if we just
32:11talked about us?
32:12>> Yeah.
32:13>> And and learn that and and the surprise
32:17the surprise on some of these women's
32:19face like, "Oh, wow. This isn't the same
32:22repeat over and over again."
32:24>> Yeah.
32:25>> "I can actually I can actually just be
32:27me."
32:28>> Yes.
32:29>> And it was
32:31>> Yeah, cuz it's like
32:33I'm so done. I I was actually telling my
32:36partner this the other day. I was like,
32:38"You know, I'm really tired of saying 3
32:41years ago since divorce.
32:44>> Yeah.
32:44>> Why am I putting power into that? Like,
32:47it was a relationship.
32:50And we're just in a time span
32:53>> Yeah.
32:54>> of Now I'm in my dream relationship. So,
32:57why am I giving power to even my journey
33:01after
33:03It's like I refer everything to after my
33:05divorce.
33:06>> Yeah.
33:06>> Why am I doing that?
33:08>> Yeah.
33:08>> When
33:092 years ago, I was going through this,
33:13you know? I was going through this or
33:15>> Yeah.
33:16>> So, I'm like really trying to learn how
33:19do I rephrase if there was no such thing
33:21because it's just a glorified breakup.
33:25But I didn't I don't talk about two
33:26breakups ago
33:28or three breakups ago, you know?
33:31>> Mhm.
33:31>> Like
33:32I know the difference is because I have
33:34four children from that man.
33:36But now I can just talk about my
33:38children.
33:39>> Yeah.
33:40>> You know?
33:41>> Yeah.
33:41>> So, when we also let go of the
33:45energy of divorce and what
33:48cruelty or whatever that whatever you
33:51put around that.
33:53Cuz it is like a dark form of energy. At
33:56least
33:57mine is until I change that.
34:00>> Yeah.
34:01>> But
34:02when I when I think about how do I let
34:05that go, all of a sudden I feel more
34:08light and free.
34:10You know?
34:11>> Yes.
34:13>> that's the point is when you start
34:15feeling light and free like
34:16authentically. Not just putting on a
34:19mask saying, "Oh, I'm just happy and I'm
34:20light and free." No.
34:22Like truly when you let go of all the
34:24heavy darkness within yourself after
34:27that period because that is the most
34:28common thing
34:30is people just literally vomit
34:33>> Mhm.
34:33>> all of the crap.
34:35>> Yep.
34:36>> It's so prominent with people in the
34:39single
34:41pool of people.
34:42And when you start actually considering
34:47if I were to be with my dream partner
34:50now,
34:52what would I need to give up? And how
34:54would I need to live my life?
34:57>> Mhm.
34:58>> When you start
35:00when when a person is done with that
35:02phase and they're ready, they're
35:04actually legitimately ready,
35:09people start dressing different.
35:11>> Mhm.
35:12>> They start because, you know, when you
35:14go to these single parties,
35:18you you see a lot of people dressed
35:21just and I don't want to shame it or
35:23anything. It It just is what it is.
35:26But
35:27some people will complain, oh my gosh,
35:29like that was uh
35:32F boy is what they call it. Or that was
35:35whatever, but it's like but how it Look
35:37how you're dressed. You're attracting
35:39that type of person.
35:41But when you start looking for your true
35:44person actually,
35:46you'll start dressing
35:48like
35:49a lot a life partner is going to dress
35:53more, let's say, modest.
35:56>> Mhm.
35:56>> Or more as a life partner, there's a
35:59certain
36:01vibe, a certain
36:03way
36:05that is very different from when you're
36:08just trying to get meat.
36:11>> When it's a meat market.
36:12>> Yeah, when it's a meat market, very
36:14different.
36:15>> And and there's there's a completely
36:17different feel of the the dances and the
36:22parties and versus
36:25I want to connect with someone.
36:27>> Yeah, very different.
36:29>> I don't I don't need you to complete me.
36:33>> Yeah, cuz you already are complete.
36:35>> Yes.
36:36>> Mhm.
36:37>> And and it's it's fascinating because I
36:41I've back to all the dating experience
36:44and I dated a lot of people, a lot. And
36:48because I was going through that and one
36:50of my best friends, he said he said,
36:52"Well, do you have a list?"
36:55And let's talk about the dating criteria
36:58list. Like let's let's talk about this
37:00because I really believe it's important.
37:03>> Absolutely.
37:04>> That there's so many people that that
37:07and I didn't have one at the time but my
37:09friend said, "Do you have a list?" And I
37:10said, "Well, no, that's you know, that's
37:13objectifying." And he's like, "No, it's
37:15not."
37:15>> Mhm.
37:16>> He said, "You will never find the person
37:18you're looking for if you don't know who
37:20you're looking for."
37:21>> Yeah.
37:22Cuz you'll just get anything.
37:24>> And I was like, "Yeah, you'll you'll get
37:26anything." I was like, "Wow, he's right.
37:29If I don't know what are my absolute go
37:33no goes, like those critical issues."
37:36And then he's like, "And don't stop
37:38there.
37:39Add to that, what do you want? Like
37:41truly, what do you want? What are you
37:43attracted to in in hair color and and
37:46height and all those things and and he
37:48said, "Write it all down. You know,
37:50you've got your critical, you've got
37:51your top tier, those are absolutely
37:54non-negotiables, but then write down the
37:56rest, too."
37:56>> Mhm.
37:57>> And and so I did. So I wrote a big list
38:00and I was dating and I and that's when I
38:03started to actually get deeper
38:05relationships instead of just dating all
38:07sorts of people.
38:08>> Yes.
38:08>> But then
38:10right before
38:11that critical day when I knelt down and
38:13told God, I'm like, "God, I'm here. I'm
38:16ready, but let me know."
38:18>> Yeah.
38:18>> Um I
38:21I went through the list and I was
38:23looking at all of my past girlfriends
38:25and all of that and I was like, "Wait a
38:28minute.
38:29I need my name
38:32at the top of this list."
38:33>> Mhm.
38:35>> Because I need to go through and make
38:38sure I have these things, too.
38:41>> Yeah. Yes.
38:42>> And instead of evaluating, do they is it
38:45a compatibility match with a person? I
38:48was like, am I a compatibility match
38:51with the person I want in my life?
38:54>> Yes.
38:55>> And am I swinging the pendulum or have I
38:58found that center?
39:00>> Yes.
39:00>> Have I found the place in me
39:03that truly will attract the person with
39:05these attributes?
39:06>> Mhm.
39:07>> And when I started doing that instead of
39:11I'm looking for this person.
39:13>> Yeah.
39:13>> I started
39:14>> saying
39:15I'm just going to become this person.
39:17>> Yes.
39:18>> And let whatever happens
39:20>> the list. Yes.
39:22>> Then that's when things changed.
39:24>> Mhm.
39:25See, all the
39:27that's the easiest part.
39:29Because it's the funnest part.
39:31Because once you finally let go of who
39:33you were before
39:35whether you give it up to God, whether
39:38you
39:39let it go mentally and emotionally,
39:41whatever that looks like to you.
39:45Then the mind switches. It's like a
39:49switch that happens.
39:51And you start really getting serious
39:54about what it's about the list part is
39:57part of the process that I help people
39:59with before we call in their dream
40:00partner.
40:01>> Mhm.
40:02>> Because And what what do you tell them
40:04to put on the list? Like
40:05>> So
40:06>> What would you if someone were sitting
40:07here right now
40:08>> Yeah.
40:09>> was in the newly divorced in the dating
40:11world or or had lost a spouse. What
40:14would you tell them to put on the list?
40:16>> So I definitely start with
40:18non-negotiables. What will you never
40:21negotiate negotiate about?
40:24And then what are the absolute have to
40:26haves?
40:27>> Okay.
40:28>> And then
40:28>> And those are two different categories.
40:30>> Yeah, two different.
40:30>> So non-negotiables have to have.
40:32>> Yeah.
40:33>> Okay.
40:33>> I actually have a whole way of doing a
40:35list of a thousand.
40:37So it's very thorough in every area of
40:40life. And then even what do you see the
40:43dating experience being like? And when
40:46you go through the dating and you're
40:47just dating around, casual dating, what
40:49is that like? And then when you become
40:52exclusive, what is that like? How do you
40:55want that to be? And it's fascinating
40:58because as I experienced this this last
41:01time
41:02um with my new partner, too, my list
41:06it it became So, there's one thing that
41:10kind of made me push my partner away a
41:12bit because he's not an entrepreneur.
41:16>> Okay.
41:16>> And I had to have an entrepreneur.
41:18>> You wanted that.
41:19>> Yeah.
41:19>> Okay.
41:20>> And actually was kind of like a stop,
41:22check, and make sure.
41:24And I had to actually dig deeper within
41:27myself about what is about
41:30entrepreneurship that is so important to
41:32me.
41:33>> Mhm.
41:33>> And it was that someone can support me
41:37and
41:39like understands networking that I'm
41:42going to meet with other men and have
41:44lunch or coffee and you know, it's I
41:48mean, there's far more entrepreneurs
41:50that are men than women.
41:51>> Mhm.
41:52>> It Yeah, it's it's just is how it is,
41:54especially here in Utah.
41:56And so I needed somebody to support if I
41:59needed to go to networking events in the
42:00evening, too.
42:02And anyway, so the list
42:05is really important. What I found,
42:08though, is that
42:10like you said, I had to embody
42:13the list within myself. So, I was
42:16actually writing the list about myself
42:18>> Mhm.
42:19>> more than my partner. And then
42:21he was a physical manifestation of
42:25myself.
42:27Of everything that I embodied.
42:30>> Yeah.
42:31>> It's
42:32magical.
42:34>> Yeah.
42:34>> But you have to like really look at the
42:37things of who you're not in order to
42:39know who you
42:41need to become.
42:43>> Mhm.
42:44>> So, those aspects
42:46that or qualities that you may not have
42:48yet
42:50is something really important to look
42:52at.
42:53>> Yeah.
42:54And one thing about the list that I
42:56think trips people up, and it did for
42:58me,
42:59was that it's a it's a ranking of a
43:03person.
43:04And and that that was my previous
43:07mentality is like, "Oh, I'm going to
43:09rate you on this star system, and you're
43:11a 10, or you're a five, or you're you
43:13know, whatever." And and I was missing
43:15the point.
43:16>> Yeah.
43:16>> The point isn't I'm going to rank you.
43:19>> Mhm.
43:19>> The point is I'm going to see how
43:22compatible we are.
43:23>> Yes.
43:24>> It's not about are you a 10, or a five,
43:27or a two. It's about
43:30do your attributes match my attributes,
43:33and are we compatible
43:35in a place where we can have a dream
43:37marriage?
43:38>> Yeah, because a lot of people will
43:41settle because
43:43the I think the number one thing I get
43:45when I tell them, "Did you make a list
43:47of who you want your partner to be?"
43:50They'll maybe do 20.
43:52>> Mhm.
43:52>> "Oh, yeah, I got my list." I'm like,
43:54"20, huh?"
43:56"Well, that's interesting because" and I
43:58tell them about my list of a thousand,
44:00and they're like, "Well, gosh, that
44:01would really narrow down my choices out
44:04there." And I'm like, "Yeah, absolutely,
44:07and it should because you're looking for
44:09>> the point.
44:09>> one person in two billion people. You're
44:12looking for one.
44:13>> Yeah.
44:14>> You don't want everyone. You want one
44:16person that is completely compatible
44:19all the way for you. It's like
44:22it should
44:23like Cinderella's shoe. Only one person
44:26fit in that shoe.
44:28One.
44:29>> Mhm.
44:30>> And that was his person.
44:33Right?
44:33>> Yeah.
44:33>> So, why would people looking for
44:38hundreds of other people when you I
44:41don't know about you, but when I was
44:42single,
44:43I would go in every room and scan the
44:45whole entire room.
44:46>> Oh, yeah.
44:47>> Every time.
44:49And just see if someone was attractive,
44:51or looked like the person I imagined
44:53myself being or you know, and
44:57it's like you just have one person
44:59you're looking for and that's it.
45:02And the list is extremely important cuz
45:05think about if we were building this
45:07table
45:08and or we were ordering this table and
45:11we wanted it exactly the same
45:13smoothness, the color, the grains on the
45:16table, the the way the you know, the
45:19legs stand and all of that. We want it
45:21to come exactly how we want it, right?
45:24>> Mhm.
45:25>> You don't want like a leg all askew
45:26wampy or like a hole in one spot or you
45:31know, like you want it how you want it.
45:33>> Yeah.
45:33>> You want the life even the future to be
45:37aligned with your future. And a lot of
45:40the times people get in relationships
45:43where the two fight because they're not
45:44aligned.
45:45>> And that's what it is. It's the
45:46alignment. It's the
45:47>> alignment.
45:48>> compatibility.
45:49>> Yes.
45:49>> And it the list is important not to give
45:52somebody a rating.
45:54>> No.
45:54>> It's important to see are we really
45:57aligned? Are we really compatible?
45:59>> Yeah.
46:00>> And when we can do that, we can say,
46:02"Oh,
46:03yeah.
46:04>> Yeah.
46:04>> This is something I want to pursue
46:06more." That that same friend, his name
46:08is Mike, he's one of my best friends all
46:10the way back from high school.
46:12He he said um he said, "Make the list
46:16and only settle for a nine or a 10."
46:20>> Yeah.
46:20>> He's like, "Nothing
46:23And I'm like, "But Mike, that's going to
46:25limit all my options and all these
46:27things." And and what I was really
46:29saying was I don't feel worthy of a nine
46:32or a 10.
46:33>> Uh yeah.
46:35And isn't that interesting to think I'm
46:37limited? Well,
46:40I want to be so limited by my options
46:43that I find the one person I've been
46:46dreaming about for a while.
46:49Because when I meet them
46:51it will be like Cinderella's shoe and I
46:54will know.
46:55>> Yeah.
46:56>> You know?
46:57>> Yeah, and like when my friend Mike said
47:00only settle for a nine or 10, I was
47:02like, "That's going to be so limiting."
47:04But then I found an 11.
47:06>> Yeah.
47:07>> And her name's Patty and
47:09>> Yeah.
47:10>> it was
47:12our song, I'm getting a little
47:14vulnerable here. Our song is a song by
47:16Ruel. It's called I Get to Love You.
47:19>> Aw.
47:20>> And it's the most beautiful, centered
47:22song.
47:22>> Yeah.
47:23>> And it one of the lines in it says, "I
47:26prayed for you
47:28before I called you mine."
47:30>> Aw.
47:31I love that.
47:32>> I'm getting
47:34I'm getting emotional because
47:36she is exactly the person I prayed for.
47:40She's the person that was the embodiment
47:44of that list and
47:46and to, you know, to not settle. I think
47:50that's so so important.
47:53>> It really is because it also shows your
47:56worthiness for yourself.
47:58>> Yeah.
47:59>> That because there is never a worth
48:02problem. It's That's the counterfeit in
48:05motion is unworthiness.
48:07>> Yeah.
48:07>> We are always worthy, but
48:10so so to never settle and to really go
48:13after your big old hunking list
48:16for one person, right? Like you're
48:19really setting yourself up to a very
48:22high level
48:24of deservedness.
48:26>> Yeah.
48:27>> Because we deserve the best in our lives
48:29and a partner is the
48:32number one most important decision
48:34you'll ever make in your life.
48:37Because you build a life with this
48:39person.
48:40I mean, I would pay millions of dollars
48:44to be with the person that fits me the
48:47best in my life.
48:49And that reciprocates it back.
48:51>> Yeah.
48:52>> You know, like this is a complicated
48:53thing if you really think about it.
48:56>> Yeah.
48:56>> It's complicated.
48:59So
49:01as through my process, it's crazy. So,
49:04I don't know if I I should show you, but
49:06>> [laughter]
49:07>> it might take a minute.
49:09But, I when I was done with my list, and
49:12[clears throat] a lot of people will do
49:13this after I tell them, but everyone
49:16that's done it has not called in their
49:17dream partner and manifested it. It's so
49:20fascinating. But, what I did was I put
49:23my list
49:25into ChatGPT, and I said,
49:27>> Okay.
49:28>> "Give me for this energy, give me a
49:31um
49:33give me a initial
49:35for
49:36Here, I'll show you.
49:37>> Like
49:37>> an initial an initial [clears throat]
49:39for my person."
49:40>> Oh, no kidding.
49:41>> Yeah.
49:42>> You asked it to give you the that
49:44person's initials.
49:45>> Yeah. I wanted it to give me
49:48And And it came up with this.
49:52>> MC
49:52>> MC. And I thought C was for Camilla.
49:54>> Uh
49:55>> And then I was like, "I want a picture
49:58too." And it came up with this.
50:01>> K.
50:01>> K.
50:02And I was like, "Huh, that's
50:04interesting."
50:06And
50:08my person
50:09is Meek
50:11Chavis.
50:13>> MC
50:13>> MC
50:14>> No joke.
50:16>> Yeah.
50:17And this is him.
50:19>> Oh, wow.
50:21That's That was the picture that chat
50:24came up with.
50:26>> Okay, that's wild.
50:27>> Wild, right?
50:29>> [laughter]
50:31>> No joke.
50:33>> So, literally
50:35>> Literally, you called in that person.
50:37>> That person from 6,200 mi away.
50:41>> Wow.
50:42>> Yeah.
50:43>> Wow.
50:44>> Yeah. So,
50:45>> That's beautiful. That's such a
50:47beautiful story.
50:49>> Yeah, it's
50:51it's that magnetic energy bringing two
50:53people together when you know who you
50:55want.
50:57>> Yeah.
50:58And it it goes to the one of the the
50:59dyads in the counterfeit emotions
51:01framework is the idea that abundance is
51:05authentic.
51:06>> Yes.
51:07>> That manifesting abundance in
51:08counterfeit to abundance is
51:11accumulation. It You can have the list
51:14and have it for I want to rate somebody
51:17as a nine or a 10 in looks or whatever
51:21it is, the physical
51:23or and that's the counterfeit. You can
51:26You Your list absolutely could be that.
51:30But if you use it for the authentic of
51:31the abundance of No, this is
51:35I
51:36am a creature of divine worth.
51:38>> Yes.
51:40>> one that is so compatible
51:43with my divinity.
51:45>> Yes.
51:45>> That together we can become even more.
51:49>> Yeah.
51:50>> Individually we're whole.
51:52Together
51:53we're whole plus.
51:55>> Yes. It like magnifies double, right?
51:58Cuz two is better than two.
52:00>> times, 100 times.
52:02It's It's so much more.
52:04>> Yeah.
52:05>> And And for years, and as I was single
52:09and dating, I didn't I didn't know if
52:11I'd ever find it. I really
52:13>> didn't either. I thought it would be an
52:15impossible feat, to be honest, after
52:17the complications of having four
52:19children
52:20>> Uh-huh.
52:21>> and having to co- uh what is it called?
52:24blend
52:24>> Co-parent.
52:25>> a blend families
52:27>> yeah.
52:27>> or
52:28and then like all the hurt and
52:30everything that I had experienced, like
52:32now I have all this baggage.
52:34>> Mhm.
52:34>> Right? Like
52:36I was like, I don't know. And after
52:37dating so many people,
52:39I just was like, I don't know if this is
52:42this is possible for me. It's possible
52:44for my clients, but like
52:48they're getting it, but why not if I
52:50don't know if it's possible for me. So
52:52that was like a whole 'nother side of
52:56having to like really dive into that
52:58even.
52:58>> Yeah.
52:59>> But yeah, it's absolutely possible.
53:03>> Yeah, it is.
53:04>> For anyone.
53:05>> is. I I absolutely believe that that you
53:09can find somebody that's a nine or 10 on
53:11the compatibility scale
53:13just for you.
53:14>> Yeah. Absolutely.
53:17>> And that you know, there's so
53:20in in my faith we believe that you know,
53:24there's this concept of celestial
53:25marriage after death.
53:28>> Yeah.
53:28>> And I'm like
53:29forget that.
53:31I'm doing celestial marriage right now.
53:33>> Yes.
53:34>> Like I I'm not waiting. I am doing it
53:36today.
53:37>> Yeah.
53:37>> And I had no idea marriage could be this
53:40good. And I look at I look at the
53:42relationship between Patty and I.
53:44And I think
53:46does
53:47it could marriage be any better? Like is
53:51it even possible to be better than this?
53:54And I don't know if it is. I don't know
53:56if it is possible because it's so good.
53:58>> You know, I think about that every day.
54:01And then I have another day with him and
54:04I'm blown away.
54:06And I'm like, I thought yesterday was my
54:07best day and now today I'm having an
54:10even better day.
54:11>> [laughter]
54:11>> And I think it's the evolution of love.
54:14>> Yes.
54:15>> You know, and the peace we feel within
54:17ourselves when we're with the right
54:19person.
54:21>> Yes.
54:21>> And we should be feeling that and we
54:24deserve that feeling.
54:27And I don't know. I I just
54:30think you you just got to believe in
54:32yourself. You've got to believe that
54:34it's out there.
54:35And it's meant to happen for you and
54:38with you.
54:39>> Yeah.
54:40Yeah.
54:42And
54:44I [clears throat]
54:45I I say this to so many people. I like,
54:47I hope you find your Patty someday.
54:50>> Yeah.
54:50>> Because what I'm truly saying is I hope
54:53you find someone that is so compatible
54:56with you that as you
55:00wrap her in your arms and press your
55:02hearts together that they resonate on a
55:05frequency that has the same the same
55:08vibrations, the same waves that creates
55:10this amazing
55:12energy. That's what I'm saying. And And
55:15for me, one of the one of the obstacles
55:19was I I had a different list.
55:22I had a list of the reasons I wouldn't
55:25find.
55:26>> Ah, yeah.
55:28>> And so, here's a question for you.
55:30What would you say are the top three, or
55:32maybe five, things that prevent people
55:37>> Mhm.
55:37>> from actually [clears throat] finding
55:40their one, calling in their dream
55:42partner. What are the top three to five
55:45that they believe And And I'll give you
55:47some examples. For example, one of on
55:50the top of my five things that were
55:53preventing me from getting back into
55:55marriage, um number one,
55:58I believed my picker was broken.
56:01>> Yeah.
56:02>> thought I had a broken picker.
56:03>> Yeah.
56:04>> That I didn't have enough discernment to
56:08be able to choose someone that could be
56:11my human.
56:12>> Yeah.
56:12>> And um that was one of them is I was
56:15like, well, I got a broken picker. Or
56:19another one was the bait and switch.
56:21>> [laughter]
56:21>> And
56:23I I had been in relationships where up
56:26front, holy cow,
56:28>> Yeah.
56:29>> it was just amazing.
56:32And then all of a sudden, whoop,
56:34it was like, whoa, that's
56:36>> Overnight switch to like a monster,
56:38right?
56:39>> And
56:40maybe not even monster, maybe just to
56:42the other side slightly enough that it's
56:44like, wait a minute.
56:45>> Yeah.
56:46>> They Hold on, this is not who I saw 2
56:49weeks ago.
56:50>> Yeah.
56:51>> And And full disclosure,
56:54full disclosure,
56:56there was a bait and switch with Patty.
56:59What I thought I was getting was not
57:01even close to what I got.
57:02>> Yeah. [laughter]
57:03>> It was a bait and switch the other way.
57:05Like, it was so
57:07>> Yeah.
57:08>> so much more than I I could have ever
57:10imagined. But but in other relationships
57:13it was the other way.
57:14>> Yeah.
57:15>> And so what would you say are the top
57:17three to five things that prevent people
57:20from making the commitment
57:22to surrender
57:24to calling in their dream partner?
57:27>> I think fear is a big thing. Fear of
57:29getting hurt.
57:30>> Number one would be fear?
57:31>> Yeah. Fear of getting hurt. Um another
57:35one would be
57:37that they just
57:38don't think they'll ever find their
57:40person.
57:41>> Okay, that person's not out there or
57:43that they're not worthy for it.
57:45>> Yeah, that their person's just they'll
57:47never meet them or find them.
57:49>> Okay.
57:49>> So that's why they settle.
57:51>> Okay.
57:52>> Because they never wait long enough
57:55>> Mhm.
57:55>> the the next one comes around, you know,
57:58and then
58:00and then the other thing is the
58:02honeymoon phase.
58:04Like you're you're talking about the
58:05honeymoon phase where we wear the
58:06rose-colored glasses and people show up
58:09all
58:10uh
58:12perfect
58:12>> Mhm.
58:13>> And then there's a moment where it
58:14switches because the true colors come
58:16out.
58:18So that's what you're experiencing and
58:21those are the unresolved emotions going
58:24on within a person, all the fears of
58:25getting hurt, all the
58:27>> Yeah.
58:28>> Well, she I just proved again that
58:33my person I can't find my person.
58:35>> Yeah.
58:36>> So the ugly comes out.
58:38>> Yeah.
58:39>> So the inauthenticity of a person, the
58:43unresolved wounds
58:46um rear their ugly heads and it's
58:49it's ugly.
58:50>> Yeah. So the top three reasons you would
58:53give for people not being able to move
58:56into that phase of commitment and
58:58calling in their dream person. Fear of
59:00rejection.
59:01>> Fear of hurt getting hurt.
59:02>> Fear of getting hurt.
59:04>> Yeah.
59:04>> Then
59:06>> um
59:06>> Second one would be
59:08that
59:09Oh, what did we just say?
59:10>> [laughter]
59:12>> The second one was
59:13>> It was not not really truly believing
59:16their person is out there.
59:17>> they yeah.
59:18>> That they'll ever meet their person.
59:19>> They they will never find that person.
59:21>> Yeah. And then all their unresolved
59:23wounds rearing their ugly head.
59:25>> Mhm. And the honeymoon phase, yeah.
59:27>> Yeah.
59:28>> Yeah.
59:29>> I would say and the anticipation of it.
59:31So
59:33>> What do you mean by that?
59:33>> three to five. So there's the three and
59:36then the anticipation of these three
59:38things manifesting
59:40>> Uh-huh.
59:40>> within the relationship.
59:42>> Uh-huh.
59:43>> The anticipation. So the anxiety.
59:46>> So So the person actually causing those
59:49things to
59:49>> Yes. So they are self-sabotaging because
59:52of these three things.
59:54>> Okay, this is really good. This is like
59:55juicy. So the first The first thing that
59:58prevents somebody from calling in their
1:00:00dream partner is the fear of pain.
1:00:02>> Yeah.
1:00:03>> And that rejection and all that. The
1:00:05second is um
1:00:07>> Not really believing they'll ever find
1:00:09their
1:00:10>> It's not believing they'll find that
1:00:11person.
1:00:12>> yeah.
1:00:12>> Third is honeymoon phase. And the
1:00:14fourth, this is fascinating, the fourth
1:00:17actually creates the other three.
1:00:20>> Yeah. It's like a compound effect.
1:00:22>> That's the belief in these three.
1:00:24>> Yes.
1:00:25>> So how does somebody give these up? How
1:00:27does somebody say, "Okay, I'm going to
1:00:30get rid of number four which then number
1:00:32one through three disappear, too?"
1:00:35>> Well, you have to resolve all of them.
1:00:36It can't be just this one.
1:00:38>> Okay.
1:00:39>> You have to actually do a deep dive of
1:00:41personal history around a love
1:00:43relationship around all four.
1:00:46>> Okay. Tell me more.
1:00:47>> Tell me more.
1:00:48>> Yeah. So Okay. So fear of getting hurt.
1:00:51>> Yeah.
1:00:52>> In past relationships, even could be
1:00:55when you're a child.
1:00:57When
1:00:58someone you loved
1:01:00It could even be parents. It could be a
1:01:03best friend. It could be someone that
1:01:06rejected you or hurt hurt you. That you
1:01:08loved them and they hurt you.
1:01:10>> Mhm.
1:01:11>> So do doing a deep dive of every
1:01:13relationship and wound that created
1:01:15this.
1:01:16>> Okay.
1:01:17>> And then, where are the beliefs? When
1:01:20did you decide that you would never be
1:01:23with the person of your dreams? What's
1:01:26causing that within yourself that's
1:01:30stopping you from
1:01:33even believing you can have anything and
1:01:35everything you want and more.
1:01:38Like, that could be from a 3-year-old
1:01:42not getting what they want and they got
1:01:44spanked.
1:01:46They didn't You don't even have to be
1:01:47abused for these types of things.
1:01:49If you're abused, it's just more
1:01:50compounded. It's more uh
1:01:53charged up in trauma, right? Um and
1:01:57then, the third one was
1:02:00uh What was it?
1:02:02>> The
1:02:04Let's see. There was the the fear
1:02:06the fear pain.
1:02:08Oh, the honeymoon phase.
1:02:09>> Honeymoon phase. Oh, so
1:02:10conflict resolution uh
1:02:12the uh the ugly rearing its face. So,
1:02:15all the
1:02:16>> Yeah. The
1:02:18the wounds that are unresolved that you
1:02:20thought you resolved, but they're not.
1:02:23>> Mhm.
1:02:25>> And then, you're getting triggered
1:02:27by that person, whatever they're doing,
1:02:29but it's actually your own stuff.
1:02:32>> Yeah.
1:02:33>> So, that's when anger can come out
1:02:35that's unresolved from these things
1:02:37even.
1:02:38It's when you can
1:02:41the fight of fight fight or freeze. So,
1:02:44you could get scared because you see
1:02:46something
1:02:48that happened before. So, you have to We
1:02:50have to do like a deep dive into the
1:02:52history
1:02:54of what's causing that.
1:02:56And then,
1:02:56anxiety or anticipation is fear of the
1:03:00future.
1:03:01>> Mhm.
1:03:02>> So, you're putting all of these fears
1:03:04and everything out into the future
1:03:06because
1:03:07we are our past and our future all
1:03:09combined together into the now.
1:03:12So, if you haven't cleaned up your past
1:03:16and you haven't cleaned up your future,
1:03:18how many people think of the everything
1:03:20that they don't want to have happen and
1:03:21put it out into their future?
1:03:23>> We
1:03:24>> I don't want to get hurt in the future.
1:03:26I don't want to fail a relationship if
1:03:30and that's why we don't want to get
1:03:32married again if we left a previous
1:03:34marriage. Right? So now we're
1:03:36anticipating another divorce and I don't
1:03:38know about you, but I never want a
1:03:40divorce more than once.
1:03:41>> Oh, no.
1:03:42>> So I don't want to ever have to say that
1:03:44I've
1:03:45done it twice.
1:03:47>> Mhm.
1:03:48>> So then
1:03:50yeah, all the future anticipation of the
1:03:52negative things of manifesting those
1:03:54three things again in the future
1:03:58creates a manifestation of those three
1:04:01things that are that are unresolved.
1:04:05>> Aren't we just
1:04:07manifesting everything?
1:04:09>> Everything. Every good and not good
1:04:12thing we're manifesting every moment of
1:04:14the day.
1:04:15>> And when we when we do have that belief,
1:04:18that hope, you could call it faith or
1:04:20surrender, when you do have that like
1:04:24that idea that it'll come, we actually
1:04:26create that future.
1:04:27>> We do.
1:04:28>> Fear creates a future we don't want.
1:04:31>> Yeah.
1:04:32>> But we still create it.
1:04:34>> Right. We do.
1:04:36>> Whereas that faith and surrender creates
1:04:38a future that we do want.
1:04:40>> Mhm.
1:04:40>> That we can call in.
1:04:42>> Yeah.
1:04:43>> I I love the first point that fear of
1:04:48that that fear of of pain or rejection
1:04:51or or, you know, combined with number
1:04:54two of I don't believe that person is
1:04:57out there.
1:04:58And and I dated a gal for a while before
1:05:01I met Patty. And she was an amazing like
1:05:04truly amazing human. And she went
1:05:08through the list and she was very
1:05:10compatible on so many things.
1:05:12>> Yeah.
1:05:13>> And there were just a couple that that
1:05:15weren't there.
1:05:16And and when when we broke up, it was so
1:05:20hard.
1:05:20>> Yeah.
1:05:21>> It was so so hard.
1:05:23>> Yeah.
1:05:23>> And I I was lamenting. Like in the true
1:05:27sense of the word lament. I would wake
1:05:29up every morning with just an empty
1:05:32feeling. Like I miss her so badly.
1:05:34>> Yeah.
1:05:35>> And I I did a retreat down in St. George
1:05:37with a man named Austin Ellis. And one
1:05:40of the exercises he took us to the lava
1:05:42tubes.
1:05:43>> Oh, cool.
1:05:43>> Um yeah, which were fascinating. They're
1:05:46these great big caves where the lava
1:05:48would flow through.
1:05:48>> one in Hawaii. Yeah.
1:05:50>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, and he had a bunch
1:05:53of men there.
1:05:54And he said he he's like, "Okay, here's
1:05:57your headlamps, everybody. Give me about
1:06:003 to 5 minutes, put your headlamps on,
1:06:02and then come find me."
1:06:04And we're like, "What? Come find you in
1:06:05this great big lava tube?" And he's
1:06:08like, [clears throat] "Yeah, come find
1:06:08me." So, we wait the time, and then we
1:06:11go find him, and he was in the very very
1:06:13back part, the very end of this lava
1:06:16tube, up on this rock outcropping up
1:06:19above.
1:06:20And and we went back there, and he's
1:06:24like, "All right, everybody turn off
1:06:25your lights."
1:06:27And so, we turn them off.
1:06:29And he goes, "Okay, turn them back on."
1:06:31And he was wearing this mask, like this
1:06:34really scary like demonic mask. I'm
1:06:36like, "What kind of cult am I in right
1:06:38now? Like what's happening?"
1:06:40And [clears throat]
1:06:41and he started having this conversation
1:06:43with himself.
1:06:45Where he would speak one direction, we
1:06:49would turn off our lights, and turn them
1:06:50back on, and he would be without the
1:06:52mask on the other side. And he had this
1:06:55conversation back and forth between
1:06:57himself. And the mask was like,
1:06:59"What do you think you're doing? You're
1:07:01no good. You're like completely
1:07:03berating." And and then he would go to
1:07:06the other side. He's like, "No. I know
1:07:08that I can help these men, and I know
1:07:10that yeah." And he would affirm, and it
1:07:12would went back and forth. And I was
1:07:15crawling out of my skin. I was just like
1:07:18And it wasn't because I I got over the
1:07:20cult thing. I I I
1:07:21>> [laughter]
1:07:21>> that this was just an object lesson.
1:07:23>> Yeah.
1:07:24>> But um but the reason I was crawling out
1:07:26of my skin was because
1:07:28I had had those exact conversations
1:07:31right up here.
1:07:32>> right.
1:07:32>> In my own head.
1:07:34And he was nailing it word for word and
1:07:37I'm like
1:07:39I want to just run out of this cave
1:07:41right now.
1:07:42And [clears throat] he finished the
1:07:44conversation and I stayed.
1:07:46And he said he said this.
1:07:49He said what agreements are you making
1:07:53with darkness?
1:07:55>> Mhm.
1:07:58>> And
1:07:58>> That's a good point.
1:08:00>> And my my brain was like, well, none.
1:08:03That's dumb. I don't make agreements
1:08:04with darkness.
1:08:05>> [laughter]
1:08:07>> And
1:08:09and he started naming some.
1:08:10He said
1:08:12have you made an agreement with anger?
1:08:15Have you made an agreement? And he went
1:08:17down this list of all these different
1:08:20emotions and things we make agreements
1:08:22with. And then he hit sadness.
1:08:25And Camilla, it was like a brick wall
1:08:27hitting my chest.
1:08:29>> Dang.
1:08:30>> It was just like boom. I was like
1:08:32>> Dang.
1:08:33>> For the last month or more, I have made
1:08:37a very not just an agreement, like I
1:08:39signed in triplicate. I was like signed
1:08:42sealed delivered. I agree with sadness.
1:08:45I agree to be sad.
1:08:47>> Yeah.
1:08:48>> And he he said that it's time to rip up
1:08:51the contract.
1:08:52>> Mhm.
1:08:53>> It's time to rip up the contract with
1:08:55darkness. Whatever that is for you.
1:08:58And he had us imagine tearing this
1:09:01paper.
1:09:02>> Dang.
1:09:03>> And when I did, I this was the first
1:09:06time and I felt it many times since
1:09:08then, but this is the very first time
1:09:10I felt my brain change.
1:09:13>> Wow.
1:09:14>> a physical sensation in my brain
1:09:18that I realized I got all of this time
1:09:23with one of the most amazing people on
1:09:25the planet.
1:09:27>> Yeah.
1:09:27>> And even though we're not together now,
1:09:30I can either lament
1:09:32>> Yeah.
1:09:33>> that we're gone, or I can celebrate the
1:09:35fact that we were together.
1:09:37>> Yeah.
1:09:37>> And be so grateful. And that was the
1:09:40key. Is this gratitude.
1:09:43I believe gratitude is what rewired my
1:09:45brain. It went from
1:09:48I have to be sad. I'm I'm making this
1:09:49contract with sadness to
1:09:52I am so so grateful.
1:09:55>> Yeah.
1:09:55>> That my life changed because I got to
1:09:57spend time with this amazing human.
1:10:00>> Yeah.
1:10:00>> I'm so grateful that together we were
1:10:03able to grow in ways that we couldn't
1:10:05have otherwise.
1:10:07>> lesson, right?
1:10:08>> And it was incredible because that from
1:10:12that moment on, the sadness wasn't
1:10:14there. It wasn't like I was trying to
1:10:16suppress it and push it away.
1:10:18>> Right.
1:10:18>> It truly transformed.
1:10:20>> and
1:10:21>> Yeah.
1:10:22And then the other thought hit strongly.
1:10:26If she was that amazing
1:10:29and that compatible with you,
1:10:32how much more amazing
1:10:34>> Yes.
1:10:35>> and compatible
1:10:36>> The next one
1:10:37>> is the right one
1:10:39>> Yeah.
1:10:39>> for you.
1:10:41And when I felt that, it all just
1:10:44released.
1:10:45>> Yes.
1:10:46>> It all just let itself go. And I was
1:10:48like, "Okay, God.
1:10:49I'm ready.
1:10:51Wherever she is, whoever she is,
1:10:54>> Yeah.
1:10:55>> I'm ready.
1:10:56And
1:10:57boy, did he provide.
1:10:59>> Yeah.
1:11:00I know. I think, you know, breakups can
1:11:03be some of the hardest
1:11:05things because we
1:11:07to go through cuz we attach to an idea,
1:11:09a fantasy
1:11:11>> Yeah.
1:11:11>> of someone.
1:11:13And
1:11:15I feel like
1:11:16for my journey, anyway, the last year
1:11:19before I met Meek, it was like
1:11:22this journey of learning men and
1:11:24learning
1:11:26what role they have to play in my life
1:11:28and just creating more friendships than
1:11:32anything.
1:11:32>> Mhm.
1:11:33>> And seeing what kind of person I wanted,
1:11:36what kind of things I didn't want in a
1:11:37person. Like creating my list through
1:11:40getting to know other men. And every man
1:11:44was a great
1:11:45learning so something I learned that was
1:11:48really valuable that led me to where
1:11:51I ultimately wanted to be with someone.
1:11:54And I noticed that my
1:11:57each person that came got better and
1:11:59better cuz I was doing my inner work.
1:12:01>> Mhm.
1:12:02>> So I could see more of my list coming to
1:12:04fruition in someone. But there was
1:12:07always one or two things that were just
1:12:09deal breakers for me that I just
1:12:11couldn't. So we just remained friends.
1:12:13>> Yeah.
1:12:14>> And I was grateful though because I
1:12:16could see myself learning and growing. I
1:12:18could see myself putting my new
1:12:22strategies into a
1:12:24into action and
1:12:27>> And did your list change?
1:12:28>> It did.
1:12:29>> Yes, that was the thing.
1:12:30>> did.
1:12:31>> As I dated more and more, I found you
1:12:32know what? That one's actually not top
1:12:34tier. I'm going to put it down here.
1:12:36Well, this one ooh boy, I need to put
1:12:38this one back up in top tier.
1:12:40>> Yeah. It's kind of crazy.
1:12:42>> Yeah.
1:12:42>> So the dating process is extremely
1:12:44important and you may as well enjoy it
1:12:47while you're going through it.
1:12:49>> Yeah.
1:12:49>> You just have to look through a positive
1:12:52lens.
1:12:53You know, rather than
1:12:56>> [laughter]
1:12:58>> But breakups like I think that's why
1:13:00breakups can be so difficult because you
1:13:03we fantasize about this person in the
1:13:05future that you're going to have with
1:13:06them.
1:13:07And you kind of start molding your life
1:13:09into what you both want to live and then
1:13:14you have to let it all go and sever it.
1:13:17But what people don't realize is all
1:13:19that energy and all those things are
1:13:21already within you still.
1:13:23>> Yeah.
1:13:24>> And you can create it even better.
1:13:26>> Yeah.
1:13:28It seems like that you have found your
1:13:31paddy named Mick.
1:13:32>> Yes. Yes.
1:13:34>> And it seems like you you're happy.
1:13:37Like, you have a a genuine sense of of
1:13:41joy about that.
1:13:43And yeah, I feel
1:13:47you know, like
1:13:49I felt whole before
1:13:51and I felt
1:13:53complete, but there was just something
1:13:55missing still. And I knew that because
1:13:59I
1:14:00I definitely know
1:14:02like, I can only cuddle myself enough or
1:14:05a certain way, you know, and I cannot
1:14:08you know, I love being single, but
1:14:11there was always something missing and
1:14:13now it's like the rest of me
1:14:15loves me fully.
1:14:17Like, in a way I couldn't love myself
1:14:20by myself.
1:14:22Mhm.
1:14:23And I think that's the point of a
1:14:25relationship.
1:14:28Is to
1:14:30see ourselves in a new light and a new
1:14:32way that we couldn't love ourselves
1:14:34being alone. I don't think we're meant
1:14:36to be alone.
1:14:39And I thought, okay, the moment I love
1:14:42being alone and the moment I love me all
1:14:44the way
1:14:46is when he'll show up.
1:14:48Yeah.
1:14:49But I feel like that was the illusion of
1:14:52being single.
1:14:54We're meant to have feel love from other
1:14:56people.
1:14:58And there's nothing like a true partner
1:15:02that loves you every flaw and nook and
1:15:04cranny of who you are.
1:15:07And
1:15:08see someone loving those things. Yeah.
1:15:11>> [laughter]
1:15:12>> Even the parts that you may be
1:15:13embarrassed about. Yeah.
1:15:15>> Or that you think are kind of weird, but
1:15:19here's my weirdo coming out and you're
1:15:21loving it. Like, you know?
1:15:24And only the two of you make jokes that
1:15:26nobody will ever get.
1:15:29You know, and it's just a It's special
1:15:32thing to have a partner that really gets
1:15:35you.
1:15:36>> Yeah.
1:15:37Yeah.
1:15:40It seems like you found you found that
1:15:42joy, you found that completeness. I love
1:15:45I love that. And in the in the
1:15:48counterfeit emotions framework, one of
1:15:50the only emotions that can't be
1:15:51counterfeited
1:15:53is peace.
1:15:54>> Mhm.
1:15:56>> Where does Camilla find peace?
1:15:59>> I would say
1:16:01in the mountains
1:16:03or just putting my feet in the grass,
1:16:06becoming grounded to myself.
1:16:09I think
1:16:11finding solace in myself
1:16:15has been one of my greatest gifts I've
1:16:17given to me.
1:16:19>> Mhm.
1:16:21>> Cuz at the end of the day, I only have
1:16:23me.
1:16:24You know?
1:16:26So, I think that when I connect to the
1:16:28earth, connect to myself
1:16:30and come back into my heart
1:16:34that brings me a lot of peace and
1:16:35wholeness in my life.
1:16:38And then everything else is just extra.
1:16:41>> [laughter]
1:16:42>> Mhm.
1:16:43>> Yeah. I like being in
1:16:46kind of out in nature.
1:16:48>> Thank you for sharing that.
1:16:49>> Yeah.
1:16:50>> Thank you so much.
1:16:52And thank you for joining us one more
1:16:54week on the counterfeit emotions
1:16:56podcast.
1:16:57Go find your Patty. Go find your Mick.
1:17:00Go find that person that is compatible
1:17:02with you.
1:17:03Make your list. Don't settle.
1:17:05>> Mhm.
1:17:08>> Search until you find that perfectly
1:17:10aligned, perfectly compatible person
1:17:13with you.
1:17:14And find that peace. Find that joy. And
1:17:17don't forget to like and subscribe
1:17:19because the more subscribers we get, the
1:17:22more of this content we can make and the
1:17:24more of the counterfeit message we can
1:17:26spread.
1:17:28Until next week.
1:17:29>> Mhm.

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