🎙Episode 5: Lesson 4 - Even The Strongest Ones Need Help Sometimes — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00Hello everyone. This is Maria. Some
2. 0:04people call me Cell, your podcast host
3. 0:07on Wisdom, Wine, and Whatever, where you
4. 0:11can sip a little, laugh a little, and
5. 0:14learn
6. 0:16about money, parenting, life, or
7. 0:20everything in between.
8. 0:22So, it's been a while, actually a long
9. 0:26time, since I recorded another episode.
10. 0:31Um,
11. 0:32you see,
12. 0:36it's been heavy lately in my world. Um,
13. 0:40if you don't know me, I'm just by myself
14. 0:44taking care of a special needs child. I
15. 0:48don't have family here. Um, it's it's
16. 0:52really hard to juggle
17. 0:56family,
18. 0:57parenting to be exact, doing your
19. 1:00business and
20. 1:04everything.
21. 1:07So,
22. 1:08my daughter, her name is Jerry, is 16
23. 1:12years old now. She just turned 16 last
24. 1:15August. And
25. 1:18here in um British Columbia, Canada, um
26. 1:23I have to start
27. 1:26learning, researching about
28. 1:28transitioning her her to adulthood
29. 1:31because adulthood
30. 1:33officially starts at 19. And so all the
31. 1:38the services that we are enjoying now
32. 1:44will be different when she becomes an
33. 1:46adult. And there's a long wait list. The
34. 1:49agencies, the government government
35. 1:51agencies who will be taking care of the
36. 1:54of the adult services are different from
37. 1:57from now because she's a child. And that
38. 2:02alone
39. 2:05is very overwhelming. Um I'll give you
40. 2:09one example. Uh
41. 2:12so she's on grade 11.
42. 2:15So she will be graduating
43. 2:18so until grade 12. Um there is an option
44. 2:22to extend one year in high school.
45. 2:27But after high school,
46. 2:31what will she do? For typical teenagers,
47. 2:34they would even they would either go to
48. 2:37college or university or some would
49. 2:39already work. We be working. But for a
50. 2:42special needs child, what are your
51. 2:44options?
52. 2:46And
53. 2:48yes, um we are very we are very
54. 2:52fortunate here in Canada that there are
55. 2:54some
56. 2:56companies who actually give work or who
57. 2:59give opportunities for for special
58. 3:01needs. But that's not the only problem.
59. 3:05It's like
60. 3:08being job ready. Like my daughter is
61. 3:12like still a baby. She's very still.
62. 3:15She's still very dependent on me. So, I
63. 3:18have to to develop the skills now that
64. 3:23she can use if she works or whatever she
65. 3:28wants to do.
66. 3:31And I was just so terrified because
67. 3:33imagine
68. 3:35if she doesn't work after high school.
69. 3:38So, what is she going to do every day?
70. 3:42She has to be productive. she has to
71. 3:44learn something
72. 3:47and I didn't
73. 3:50realize that until now.
74. 3:54So that is actually overwhelming but
75. 3:59sorry about the rant. Um I'm also having
76. 4:01some you know other personal challenges
77. 4:05and
78. 4:07you know even just finding a time to
79. 4:09record an episode. I want to make sure
80. 4:12that my daughter is not with me when I
81. 4:16do a when I record a podcast episode
82. 4:19because it's just too hard
83. 4:22and
84. 4:25most of the time she's with me. So I
85. 4:28just have to inject this time to to
86. 4:31record and that is very difficult.
87. 4:34But anyway, we're on episode,
88. 4:38[snorts]
89. 4:39sorry, we're now on episode
90. 4:42five,
91. 4:44lesson number four. And
92. 4:47by the way, remember when I started this
93. 4:51episode, oh, this podcast that I would
94. 4:54like to talk about 50 life lessons
95. 4:56because I turned 50 last year. Guess
96. 4:59what? I already turned 51 last week. So
97. 5:03happy birthday to me. Um so the
98. 5:08the next lesson that I would like to
99. 5:10talk about is
100. 5:12even the strongest ones need help
101. 5:18sometimes
102. 5:21and
103. 5:23I have always been the strong one even
104. 5:27though I'm was I'm the youngest among
105. 5:31uh the three of because
106. 5:36it is both
107. 5:39uh an advantage and a disadvantage. What
108. 5:43am I talking about? It's because
109. 5:48first
110. 5:50I am the strong one or I'm trying to be
111. 5:53strong all the time because I don't have
112. 5:56any choice. Just like what I have told
113. 5:58you that this I I'm just by myself. I
114. 6:02have no family here. So, whatever I'm
115. 6:05going through, it's just me.
116. 6:10And
117. 6:13a lot of times I would like to give up.
118. 6:16A lot of times I just wanted to just say
119. 6:19I cannot do this anymore. And [sighs]
120. 6:24yeah, it's
121. 6:27I just want to stop being strong.
122. 6:33But of course I don't have any choice.
123. 6:40The disadvantage of that is people like
124. 6:44my fam my my family my friends
125. 6:47would think or other people would think
126. 6:51that oh that's fine you will be fine
127. 6:54because you're strong
128. 6:57or
129. 7:00she can handle that. And the worst part
130. 7:03is not having someone to check up on me,
131. 7:09to check on me if I'm okay, because they
132. 7:12know I have a very jolly disposition.
133. 7:16I'm always smiling. I'm always happy and
134. 7:21I'm strong.
135. 7:24That's what
136. 7:25they think of me.
137. 7:28So, no one would actually check
138. 7:33if I'm okay,
139. 7:36which is, if you think about it, it's
140. 7:38kind of sad because I'm the other way
141. 7:41around. I'm the always one who's
142. 7:43checking on other people even though I
143. 7:45have I have
144. 7:49some issues myself.
145. 7:53So, why am I telling you this?
146. 7:56Because I want you to know
147. 8:00if you have family,
148. 8:03friends
149. 8:05who you always think that they look okay
150. 8:09or they
151. 8:11are able to hold everything
152. 8:14or you never saw them crying
153. 8:18or they always seem happy and they
154. 8:21always think or they always figured it
155. 8:24out. Well, that's not true.
156. 8:29Most of the time, they're just like me,
157. 8:32trying to hold everything together
158. 8:34because they don't have a choice. And
159. 8:39a simple text or a call
160. 8:44saying or asking how are they?
161. 8:50You might think it's small, but that's a
162. 8:53big thing for us. So if you are the
163. 8:57stronger the the strong one just like
164. 9:01me,
165. 9:03I can see you. I understand you.
166. 9:09You're not alone. And
167. 9:16don't ever think that you are not
168. 9:18allowed to put down your armor and just
169. 9:23cry.
170. 9:24Just you are allowed
171. 9:28to to feel that weakness.
172. 9:31You are allowed to ask for help. You are
173. 9:35allowed to reach out and say, "I cannot
174. 9:38do this anymore."
175. 9:42And please do, please reach out and ask
176. 9:46for help.
177. 9:48Don't
178. 9:51don't allow yourself to to
179. 9:57reach that stage that you cannot do this
180. 10:00anymore before you reach out.
181. 10:06I would just like to say that
182. 10:09I feel you. Those of you who needed some
183. 10:16validation
184. 10:18that everything
185. 10:20will be fine.
186. 10:22And
187. 10:27like what I've said, you're not alone in
188. 10:29this journey.
189. 10:33If you
190. 10:35believe in a higher power or if you have
191. 10:39faith or if you're a Christian or a
192. 10:42Catholic,
193. 10:46I know that God is with you and is
194. 10:50answering or is listening to you.
195. 10:54He knows every tear that you have cried
196. 10:59and
197. 11:03Don't worry because your pain
198. 11:08will not be wasted. And I guarantee you
199. 11:10that. And I and I know that God is here
200. 11:15for us, is here for you.
201. 11:20And for for the others, please check on
202. 11:24your friends and your family who have
203. 11:26always been checking on you, who have
204. 11:29always been the one to support you, who
205. 11:31have always been the one to be your
206. 11:33listening ear or your sounding board
207. 11:36because
208. 11:37they need the same. So, please reach out
209. 11:41to them. And
210. 11:45this would be very short, but I just
211. 11:49feel blessed that I'm able to record
212. 11:51this episode, especially a week after my
213. 11:55birthday.
214. 11:56Um, all my my my
215. 12:01heart's desires is that
216. 12:05anyone who's watching this or listening
217. 12:07to this, may all your may all
218. 12:12what you wish for be granted to you by
219. 12:16God. And
220. 12:19[snorts]
221. 12:20despite of what happened
222. 12:24in my life in the last months and until
223. 12:29now that I'm still
224. 12:31undergoing that I am still grateful and
225. 12:34thankful that God
226. 12:38has always been
227. 12:40my
228. 12:42my rock and my strength and
229. 12:47Yeah, this is my birthday episode and
230. 12:49thank you so much for being patient and
231. 12:53I hope that you learned something today
232. 12:55and until the next lesson and the next
233. 12:57episode of the Wisdom, Wine and Whatever
234. 13:01podcast. Thank you and until next time.
235. 13:04Bye.