English Podcast For Learning English | English Leap Podcast | Overcome Betrayal Trauma — Transcript

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1. 0:00English leap podcast from speak English
2. 0:03with
3. 0:05class hey everyone welcome back to the
4. 0:07English leap podcast I'm Lucy and I'm so
5. 0:10glad you're here with us today whether
6. 0:12you're a longtime listener or tuning in
7. 0:14for the first time we're excited to have
8. 0:17you that's right hey hi I'm Daniel and
9. 0:21today we've got a really interesting
10. 0:23topic lined up that I think will
11. 0:25resonate with a lot of people Lucy how's
12. 0:28everything going on your end it's been a
13. 0:30good day Daniel I'm feeling really
14. 0:32pumped for today's episode because
15. 0:34betrayal is one of those things we've
16. 0:35all experienced in one way or another
17. 0:38but it's not something we always talk
18. 0:39about exactly betrayal is a tough pill
19. 0:42to swallow whether it's from a close
20. 0:45friend a family member or even someone
21. 0:47at work it can shake up how we trust
22. 0:50people and that's what makes today's
23. 0:52conversation so important absolutely and
24. 0:55we want to dive into what betrayal feels
25. 0:57like how it affects relationships and
26. 0:59how people cope with it we've got some
27. 1:01personal stories Reflections and even a
28. 1:04few tips on how to move forward when
29. 1:06trust is broken that's right but before
30. 1:09we go any deeper let's take a moment to
31. 1:11welcome our vocabulary expert Charlotte
32. 1:14she'll help us break down some of the
33. 1:15key words and phrases we'll be using
34. 1:17today Charlotte thanks for joining us
35. 1:21thanks Daniel I'm excited to be here and
36. 1:23I'm looking forward to helping everyone
37. 1:25understand key terms related to our
38. 1:27topic stick around because I'll be
39. 1:29explaining some vocabulary at the end of
40. 1:31the podcast thanks Charlotte we're happy
41. 1:34to have you on board now back to our
42. 1:37topic betrayal it's such a personal and
43. 1:40emotional experience and it affects
44. 1:42everyone differently Lucy have you ever
45. 1:45been betrayed by someone close to you
46. 1:48yeah unfortunately I have I think we all
47. 1:51go through it at some point in our lives
48. 1:53there was a time when a close friend of
49. 1:55mine shared something very personal that
50. 1:57I had confided in her it felt like my
51. 2:00trust was completely shattered that
52. 2:02sounds really tough It's always harder
53. 2:05when it's someone Close to You someone
54. 2:07you never expect to hurt you exactly I
55. 2:10wasn't just hurt by what she did but it
56. 2:12also made me question every other
57. 2:14relationship in my life trust once it's
58. 2:17broken is so hard to rebuild you know I
59. 2:21completely get that betrayal doesn't
60. 2:23just affect your relationship with that
61. 2:25one person it impacts how you trust
62. 2:28others going forward I had that feeling
63. 2:30in the workplace once when a coworker I
64. 2:33trusted took credit for something I
65. 2:35worked really hard on it was a big
66. 2:37project and when they took the spotlight
67. 2:40I felt completely blindsided ouch
68. 2:43workplace betrayal can be just as
69. 2:45hurtful especially when you're counting
70. 2:46on someone to have your back in a
71. 2:48professional setting it's like it hits
72. 2:50you out of nowhere exactly and what
73. 2:53makes it worse is that it changes how
74. 2:55you interact with people in the future
75. 2:58you become more guarded and and it takes
76. 3:00a lot of time to rebuild that trust yeah
77. 3:03betrayal forces you to put up walls but
78. 3:06it's also a learning experience it
79. 3:08teaches you who to trust and what
80. 3:10boundaries to set moving forward
81. 3:12definitely it's a painful lesson and
82. 3:15that brings us to our next point the
83. 3:17emotional impact of
84. 3:19betrayal when you're betrayed it's not
85. 3:22just a simple case of being hurt it
86. 3:24messes with your trust your self-esteem
87. 3:27and even your sense of security in
88. 3:29relationship
89. 3:30right betrayal makes you question
90. 3:32everything your choices your judgment
91. 3:35and even your value in the relationship
92. 3:37for me the hardest part wasn't just
93. 3:39losing that friend but losing the
94. 3:41confidence I had in myself for trusting
95. 3:43her in the first place that's such a
96. 3:45common experience betrayal can lead to
97. 3:48self-doubt you start wondering was I too
98. 3:51naive should I have seen this coming it
99. 3:55becomes a cycle of questioning your own
100. 3:57judgment and that emotional weight can
101. 3:59follow into other relationships you
102. 4:01become more cautious more reluctant to
103. 4:04trust and sometimes you start seeing
104. 4:06betrayal where there isn't any just
105. 4:08because you're afraid of getting hurt
106. 4:09again exactly it's like you're always on
107. 4:12edge expecting something bad to happen
108. 4:15even in relationships where there's no
109. 4:17actual reason to doubt anyone that fear
110. 4:21can stop you from truly connecting with
111. 4:23others yes it's exhausting emotionally
112. 4:26you're trying to protect yourself from
113. 4:28being hurt again but but at the same
114. 4:30time you're missing out on deeper
115. 4:32connections because you've built these
116. 4:33walls and those walls aren't easy to
117. 4:36bring down once they're up that's the
118. 4:38hardest part isn't it learning to trust
119. 4:41again but also being smart about it you
120. 4:44don't want to close yourself off but you
121. 4:47also don't want to get hurt the same way
122. 4:49twice it's a balance between protecting
123. 4:52yourself and staying open to new
124. 4:55relationships exactly and part of that
125. 4:58balance is recogn in when it's okay to
126. 5:01let go of the fear and when to establish
127. 5:03boundaries that protect your emotional
128. 5:05health you can still trust people but
129. 5:08with more awareness of who truly
130. 5:10deserves that trust it's definitely a
131. 5:13process and I think that leads us into
132. 5:15the next Point why people betray others
133. 5:19it's easy to focus on the person who was
134. 5:21hurt but understanding why betrayal
135. 5:23happens is a big part of moving forward
136. 5:27definitely people often betray others
137. 5:29not out of pure malice but because of
138. 5:32fear insecurity or even
139. 5:35self-preservation for example someone
140. 5:37might betray a friend because they're
141. 5:39afraid of losing something whether it's
142. 5:41status a relationship or even just the
143. 5:44upper hand in a
144. 5:45situation yeah and in a professional
145. 5:48context it could be driven by ambition
146. 5:51people betray their colleagues to get
147. 5:53ahead to make themselves look better or
148. 5:55to gain favor with a boss it's often
149. 5:58about selfish motives but there's
150. 6:00usually more complexity to it exactly
151. 6:04and sometimes betrayal isn't even
152. 6:06intentional it can come from people who
153. 6:08are emotionally immature who don't fully
154. 6:11realize the damage they're causing
155. 6:13because they're only focused on their
156. 6:15immediate needs it doesn't excuse their
157. 6:18behavior but it helps to see that
158. 6:20betrayal can come from a place of
159. 6:22personal weakness rather than strength
160. 6:25that's such a key Point betrayal is
161. 6:27often about the person doing the betray
162. 6:29praying they might be dealing with their
163. 6:31own insecurities jealousy or fear of
164. 6:34failure understanding that doesn't take
165. 6:36away the hurt but it can make it a
166. 6:39little easier to see that the Betrayal
167. 6:41wasn't always about you but about their
168. 6:43internal struggle exactly it helps you
169. 6:47separate the act of betrayal from your
170. 6:49own self-worth you realize that
171. 6:52sometimes people act out of their own
172. 6:54flaws or fears and it's not always a
173. 6:57reflection of you or your actions but
174. 7:00even when we understand why someone
175. 7:01betrays us it doesn't mean the emotional
176. 7:04damage is any less and that bring us to
177. 7:07the next Point how do we move forward
178. 7:10that's right understanding why it
179. 7:12happens is one part but healing and
180. 7:14moving on is a whole other
181. 7:17challenge exactly moving forward after
182. 7:20betrayal is tough and it's not a one-
183. 7:22siiz fits-all process for some it starts
184. 7:25with forgiveness not just forgiving the
185. 7:27other person but forgiving yourself for
186. 7:29trusting them in the first place you
187. 7:31can't control other people's actions but
188. 7:34you can control how you respond and heal
189. 7:37that's right and forgiveness doesn't
190. 7:39necessarily mean letting that person
191. 7:41back into your life it's more about
192. 7:43letting go of the anger and resentment
193. 7:45so you're not carrying that weight
194. 7:46around with you it's about freeing
195. 7:48yourself from the emotional
196. 7:50baggage yeah and setting boundaries is
197. 7:53crucial too after betrayal it's natural
198. 7:56to want to protect yourself part of
199. 7:58moving forward is learning how to
200. 8:00rebuild trust without losing yourself in
201. 8:02the process you can be open to new
202. 8:05relationships but with a clearer
203. 8:07understanding of what you're willing to
204. 8:08accept and what you won't tolerate
205. 8:11absolutely and moving forward also means
206. 8:14reflecting on what you've learned from
207. 8:16The Experience betrayal can be a painful
208. 8:19teacher but it shows you what's
209. 8:21important in
210. 8:22relationships honesty loyalty and
211. 8:25communication it helps you understand
212. 8:27your values more clearly yes and it's
213. 8:30important to remember that healing takes
214. 8:32time there's no rush to get over
215. 8:34betrayal it's about taking the steps to
216. 8:37regain your peace and rebuild trust not
217. 8:40just in others but in yourself trusting
218. 8:42your own judgment again is key and in
219. 8:45the end moving forward is about growth
220. 8:48it's about using the experience to
221. 8:50become stronger setting healthier
222. 8:52boundaries and being more mindful about
223. 8:55who you led into your life it's a
224. 8:57journey but one that ultimately leads to
225. 8:59a better version of yourself all right
226. 9:02before we wrap up this conversation
227. 9:04let's bring Charlotte back in to break
228. 9:06down some of the key terms we've
229. 9:08discussed throughout the episode
230. 9:10Charlotte over to you thanks Lucy let's
231. 9:12go over a few key terms that came up in
232. 9:14your discussion betrayal betrayal
233. 9:18happens when someone you trust breaks
234. 9:20that trust often in a hurtful way for
235. 9:22example she felt a deep sense of
236. 9:24betrayal when her friend shared her
237. 9:26secret it's all about the violation of
238. 9:29trust guarded when someone becomes
239. 9:32guarded they are more cautious about
240. 9:34opening up to others because they've
241. 9:36been hurt before for example after being
242. 9:39betrayed by her colleague she became
243. 9:41more guarded at work
244. 9:43boundaries boundaries are limits we set
245. 9:46in relationships to protect ourselves
246. 9:48emotionally for example he set clear
247. 9:50boundaries with his friends after being
248. 9:52betrayed to avoid being hurt again
249. 9:56self-esteem this is how you feel about
250. 9:58yourself your confidence and self-worth
251. 10:00for example her self-esteem dropped
252. 10:03after being betrayed by someone she
253. 10:04trusted deeply self-doubt this happens
254. 10:08when you question your own decisions or
255. 10:10abilities for example after the Betrayal
256. 10:14he was filled with self-doubt constantly
257. 10:16questioning his judgment naive this
258. 10:20describes someone who is inexperienced
259. 10:22or overly trusting for example he felt
260. 10:25naive for trusting someone who ended up
261. 10:27betraying him suspicious ious being
262. 10:30suspicious means feeling cautious or
263. 10:33distrustful often because you're worried
264. 10:35someone might hurt or deceive you for
265. 10:37example after the Betrayal she became
266. 10:40suspicious of anyone who got close to
267. 10:42her malice malice refers to the desire
268. 10:46to harm someone or act with ill intent
269. 10:49for example they acted out of malice
270. 10:52hoping to get revenge for what happened
271. 10:55self-preservation this means doing
272. 10:57something to protect yourself from harm
273. 10:59or loss often at the expense of others
274. 11:02for example he betrayed his friend out
275. 11:04of self-preservation fearing he would
276. 11:06lose his job if he didn't ambition
277. 11:10ambition is a strong desire to achieve
278. 11:12something often with great effort for
279. 11:15example her ambition to succeed in her
280. 11:17career led her to betray her colleague
281. 11:21insecurity insecurity means lacking
282. 11:23confidence or feeling uncertain about
283. 11:25yourself for example his insecurities
284. 11:28made him betray his friend thinking he
285. 11:30wasn't good enough without taking
286. 11:32shortcuts emotional
287. 11:34immaturity this refers to when someone
288. 11:37hasn't fully developed the emotional
289. 11:39awareness to understand how their
290. 11:41actions affect others for example her
291. 11:44emotional immaturity caused her to
292. 11:46betray her partner not realizing the
293. 11:48long-term damage it would cause
294. 11:51forgiveness forgiveness is when you let
295. 11:54go of anger or resentment towards
296. 11:56someone who has wronged you for example
297. 11:58she decided to forgive her friend not to
298. 12:01excuse the Betrayal but to release
299. 12:03herself from the
300. 12:05anger emotional baggage this refers to
301. 12:08unresolved emotional issues or pain from
302. 12:10past experiences for example he realized
303. 12:14he was carrying emotional baggage from
304. 12:16the Betrayal that was affecting his new
305. 12:19relationships growth growth in this
306. 12:22context means personal development often
307. 12:25as a result of learning from a difficult
308. 12:27experience for example the Betrayal
309. 12:30helped her grow stronger and become more
310. 12:32aware of who she lets into her life
311. 12:35these words are key to understanding the
312. 12:37different aspects of betrayal from the
313. 12:40initial hurt to the complex emotions
314. 12:42that follow helping us make sense of the
315. 12:45entire Journey from betrayal to Healing
316. 12:48thanks so much Charlotte that really
317. 12:50helps break down and clarify the
318. 12:52important Concepts we've discussed today
319. 12:55yeah it's always great to get a deeper
320. 12:57understanding of the words that reflect
321. 12:59what we go through emotionally wow we've
322. 13:02covered a lot today and hopefully it's
323. 13:05given you some insight into betrayal why
324. 13:07it happens and how to move forward
325. 13:10exactly it's never easy but learning
326. 13:13from these experiences helps you rebuild
327. 13:15trust and stronger
328. 13:17relationships before we go we'd love to
329. 13:19hear from you have you ever experienced
330. 13:21betrayal or are you currently trying to
331. 13:24move forward from it leave your thoughts
332. 13:26in the comments share your story and
333. 13:28let's keep this conversation going
334. 13:30exactly your stories could help others
335. 13:33who are dealing with similar experiences
336. 13:36and we'll be reading and responding to
337. 13:38your comments thanks again for joining
338. 13:40us today on the English leap podcast if
339. 13:43you found today's episode helpful don't
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341. 13:47with someone who might need to hear this
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344. 13:54upcoming episodes we've got a lot more
345. 13:56insightful conversations coming your way
346. 13:59until next time take care of yourselves
347. 14:01stay strong and keep learning we'll see
348. 14:04you soon bye everyone and thanks for
349. 14:06tuning
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