Emma Watson Reveals the Best Advice That Changed Her Life — Transcript

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1. 0:00And I've got I know it's a bit hot, but
2. 0:01I've got a couple of questions to end
3. 0:03on. We end on with every episode.
4. 0:05>> Yes.
5. 0:06>> Um these are your final five.
6. 0:08>> They have to be answered in one word to
7. 0:09one sentence maximum, but
8. 0:11>> I will probably ignore that rule as I
9. 0:14always do.
10. 0:14>> Amazing.
11. 0:15>> So, question number one, okay,
12. 0:17>> is um we ask these to everyone who's
13. 0:19ever been on the show. What is the best
14. 0:21advice you've ever heard or received?
15. 0:24>> I'm going to cheat slightly
16. 0:27if you'll allow it.
17. 0:28>> Yeah. I read Emergent Strategy by Adrian
18. 0:32Marie Brown was given to me as a gift by
19. 0:34my friend Amarie for my 30th birthday.
20. 0:37And I think that
21. 0:40being a good pious Protestant English
22. 0:44girl, I really believed that if I worked
23. 0:47hard enough and if I was kind of saintly
24. 0:51enough that someone would see my good
25. 0:54deeds and all of my hard work and like
26. 0:57give me the sticker, you know, give me
27. 0:59the like give me the star. And so, so a
28. 1:03kind of martyrdom was part of my sort of
29. 1:09I understood was important in my and I
30. 1:13think reading her book and reading
31. 1:17about
32. 1:19pleasure activism which is sort of the
33. 1:21idea that like
34. 1:24anything that you need to s that you
35. 1:26want to sustain eg justice eg
36. 1:31You need it to be easy and you need it
37. 1:33to be pleasurable in a way because
38. 1:34that's what's going to mean that you'll
39. 1:36be able to do it for a long time.
40. 1:39>> Part of my burnout was that I wasn't
41. 1:44prioritizing
42. 1:45pleasure and joy as the kind of like
43. 1:48underpinning for even some of the the
44. 1:50harder, more somber,
45. 1:52more cerebral things that I was doing.
46. 1:55And
47. 1:57I think
48. 1:58>> that's such a great answer. changed my
49. 2:00life. And I think we also have a model
50. 2:04particularly within activism and um in
51. 2:09lots of spaces that like this kind of
52. 2:13sole individual charismatic leader and I
53. 2:16like you, you know, I my heroes were
54. 2:19always Martin Luther King and Gandhi and
55. 2:22you just saw this sort of like solitary
56. 2:24person that was doing that. And I think
57. 2:27if I could go back and do anything
58. 2:28differently, it would be that when I
59. 2:32embarked on some of the public activism
60. 2:34that I did, I wouldn't go in the way I
61. 2:37did. I would go in with what I have now,
62. 2:40which is not just like an activist
63. 2:43community. Like I have friends who can
64. 2:45give me feedback and who I can talk to
65. 2:47and who I feel that I'm not doing the
66. 2:49work alone solo, however that might
67. 2:54look. Yeah, I guess heroicism and and
68. 2:57martyrdom, the way the way that it was
69. 2:59looked, maybe I just don't believe
70. 3:02that's how we'll get the job done
71. 3:05anymore. Anything anything good will get
72. 3:07done.
73. 3:08>> So, I think that book and I think that
74. 3:10idea that revolutionized my approach.
75. 3:14>> I love that. Yeah, that's a great
76. 3:15answer. It's beautiful. I want to read
77. 3:17that book now.
78. 3:18>> I haven't read it.
79. 3:19>> Have to. You should have her on the
80. 3:20podcast.
81. 3:21>> Yeah, I should. Yeah, absolutely. Uh,
82. 3:23question number two. What is the worst
83. 3:24advice you've ever heard or received?
84. 3:27>> Oh,
85. 3:28>> so much.
86. 3:30>> How long have you got?
87. 3:32>> God, mostly just like I think a lot of
88. 3:35stuff around toughen up, bottle it up.
89. 3:38>> Um, deal with that later, you know, just
90. 3:41like subtle versions of like, well,
91. 3:44maybe tell the truth, but just not all
92. 3:46of it. Just like maybe just like tell
93. 3:49like a little bit of it, but not like
94. 3:50the whole thing, you know? Cuz like the
95. 3:53truth is the problem with like telling
96. 3:55three quarters of the truth is that then
97. 3:57you're sort of in this like constant
98. 4:00>> peeling and unpeeling of yourself where
99. 4:02you sort of like you're sort of trying
100. 4:04to do it but you're not quite doing it.
101. 4:06And I don't know I think a lot of advice
102. 4:09around that. Also anyone that tells you
103. 4:12not to do what you love
104. 4:14terrible advice doing what you love will
105. 4:17lead you where you need to go even if
106. 4:18you can't see it at the time.
107. 4:21Uh
108. 4:27yeah.
109. 4:28Yeah.
110. 4:32I was thinking about terrible terrible
111. 4:34beauty tips and advice given around like
112. 4:37>> I don't know just like oh god all again
113. 4:40like back to our previous conversation
114. 4:41all the ridiculous things that you are
115. 4:43encouraged to try and do as a woman like
116. 4:46fake tan and and I mean it's hilarious.
117. 4:50I actually right now I I it might be
118. 4:53like well covered up but I accidentally
119. 4:56have a had a bottle of fake tan in my
120. 4:59bathroom and in my jetlack state last
121. 5:00night I thought I was putting
122. 5:02moisturizer on but now I have like these
123. 5:04>> like horrific uh fake tan marks on my
124. 5:08legs and feet. I guess I'm just thinking
125. 5:10about just like, oh my god. And recently
126. 5:13I was like, okay, I want to get my teeth
127. 5:16whitened. And I looked like Ross from
128. 5:18Friends when he'd had that awful fake
129. 5:20tanning accident because they were just
130. 5:21way too white. And then I had to spend
131. 5:23go back for two other visits to get the
132. 5:25dentist to put my teeth back to my
133. 5:27normal teeth. So I guess I was just
134. 5:29laughing thinking about like worse
135. 5:31advice. is just like don't ever listen
136. 5:33to beauty technicians or anyone advising
137. 5:37you to do anything weird to your body,
138. 5:40face, appearance. Just just don't don't
139. 5:43listen. Don't don't take the bait. Just
140. 5:45don't do it.
141. 5:46>> So good. Best answer.
142. 5:50>> Question number three. How are you how
143. 5:51are you now going to choose work
144. 5:54projects or activism differently?
145. 5:57Does the person that's asking me to do
146. 5:59something with them, uh, can they
147. 6:02confidently look at me and say that they
148. 6:04care about me far more than like what
149. 6:06we're producing? And
150. 6:09and do I care about them that way? One
151. 6:12of my favorite people I worked with,
152. 6:13Steve Chabosski,
153. 6:15uh I remember him
154. 6:18leaving what was a very productive uh
155. 6:21rehearsal or script meeting with Logan
156. 6:23Lurman, Ezra Miller and I, and he was
157. 6:26like, I need to go and be with my wife
158. 6:28now. And we were like, I don't think
159. 6:30I've ever heard I mean at that point I
160. 6:32certainly had ever heard a director in
161. 6:33my career say they needed to leave for a
162. 6:36personal reason or for a personal
163. 6:38relationship. But I worked far harder
164. 6:40for Steve than I worked for any other
165. 6:41director because
166. 6:43>> I think I was able to be a far give a
167. 6:45far more vulnerable performance in that
168. 6:47film because I felt that he really cared
169. 6:50about me beyond the product of the film.
170. 6:55And I want to work with people like that
171. 6:57who for whom the process is as important
172. 7:01as the outcome and the people that are
173. 7:03part of it are more important than
174. 7:06whatever the outcome is. I think this is
175. 7:08a really difficult thing that I see
176. 7:11everywhere in the world right now is
177. 7:12that we treat objects and things like
178. 7:16they're sacred and we don't treat people
179. 7:20like they're the sacred thing. And that
180. 7:22switch
181. 7:23Yeah. I think it causes a lot of pain.
182. 7:27>> Emma, something that you told me when we
183. 7:29were speaking on the phone
184. 7:30>> was that you've been working with young
185. 7:33people
186. 7:34>> on helping them with some of the
187. 7:36challenges that you've faced in your own
188. 7:38career and your own life.
189. 7:39>> Yeah.
190. 7:40>> And I remember being so touched by that
191. 7:42and I wanted to learn more and for you
192. 7:44to share it because
193. 7:46>> I Yeah. I just think it's really special
194. 7:48and I was sharing it with some of my
195. 7:49team before you arrived and and everyone
196. 7:51was quite drawn to it.
197. 7:53as a young
198. 7:55person
199. 7:57and you know as I've basically shared
200. 8:00over however long it's been that we've
201. 8:01been speaking I just
202. 8:04really needed to
203. 8:07be having more conversations with people
204. 8:09my own age and people that were older
205. 8:12than me. I feel like I tried to navigate
206. 8:15so many problems on my own and I just
207. 8:18didn't know
208. 8:20who to really speak to and I was
209. 8:22speaking to such a narrow group of
210. 8:25people about what I was trying to
211. 8:27navigate and I I just I think that
212. 8:30working with young people and giving
213. 8:35them each other and also the space, the
214. 8:39reason, the excuses to talk about the
215. 8:42things that we don't talk about or
216. 8:45create spaces for has been the most
217. 8:48gratifying,
218. 8:50the most purposeful and of service I
219. 8:54felt in a long time because
220. 8:58it turns out pretty often that a lot of
221. 9:00the things that we're struggling with
222. 9:02other people are struggling with as
223. 9:04well. And so in a way going back around
224. 9:09and trying to put out into the world a
225. 9:10lot of the things that I knew I needed
226. 9:12as a young person and didn't get it's
227. 9:15been the best most the best most
228. 9:18gratifying thing and I feel really lucky
229. 9:20to be in a position and in a place where
230. 9:23I can say and know like look I've kind
231. 9:27of done this treacherous journey and I
232. 9:31think that
233. 9:33I think I might have some ideas about
234. 9:35what might be needed for someone to come
235. 9:37out the other side of that safely.
236. 9:40>> So, it feels good to be of use.
237. 9:42>> Yeah, I love that. Fifth and final
238. 9:43question. We ask this to every guest
239. 9:44who's ever been on the show. If you
240. 9:46could create one law that everyone in
241. 9:48the world had to follow, what would it
242. 9:49be?
243. 9:52>> Oh, wow.
244. 9:55One law.
245. 9:58Okay. There's a couple of contenders.
246. 10:00I'm going to run you through one of them
247. 10:01with you. One is going to be
248. 10:03>> We'll vote on them.
249. 10:04>> Okay, great. Perfect. One would be
250. 10:06around the importance of
251. 10:09telling the truth or like speaking your
252. 10:11truth or just because I feel like so
253. 10:15much so much chaos is caused by people
254. 10:19not being sure whether or not they
255. 10:21should or it's a good idea to or I think
256. 10:24that would be a pretty amazing one. Uh,
257. 10:26another contender I mean it's the
258. 10:28obvious one is treat other people as you
259. 10:30would like to be treated. Mhm.
260. 10:32>> That would obviously solve a lot of
261. 10:34problems as well.
262. 10:35>> I like that one. You gave
263. 10:36>> the last one?
264. 10:37>> Yeah, the first one. The first one.
265. 10:38>> Oh, the first one. Yeah, the truth.
266. 10:40Yeah. I guess it took me a long time and
267. 10:44probably
268. 10:46probably through doing my yoga teacher
269. 10:47training is speaking truth with kindness
270. 10:50is one of the first nyamas, right?
271. 10:53>> Very disappointed. I can't remember what
272. 10:54the word is in
273. 10:55>> not sata
274. 10:56>> maybe. Yeah. Speaking the truth with
275. 10:58kind like speaking the truth with
276. 10:59kindness. trying to think of the
277. 11:00>> there's an amazing there's an amazing
278. 11:01quote which actually is
279. 11:05was given to me recently by a friend
280. 11:06which is like the truth
281. 11:09the truth without kindness is brutality
282. 11:12and kindness without
283. 11:15truth is manipulation
284. 11:17>> say that again
285. 11:18>> truth without kindness is brutality
286. 11:21and
287. 11:23kindness without truth is manipulation
288. 11:25and so when I say like tell your truth I
289. 11:28don't mean going around just being awful
290. 11:30to everyone. I mean like
291. 11:34>> telling the microscopic truth and like
292. 11:36having those being willing to have a
293. 11:39tolerance for those conversations. One
294. 11:41of my favorite metaphors I actually
295. 11:42wrote about this recently for being in a
296. 11:44relationship with anyone is like you're
297. 11:46in it's in a way it's it's a dance. It's
298. 11:49a fight. Like I think about boxing in
299. 11:51the sense of like who is going to go
300. 11:53down to the mat with you and like not
301. 11:55tap out because
302. 11:57>> being honest about what's really going
303. 11:59on is uncomfortable and it's risky as we
304. 12:02talked about earlier. You risk every
305. 12:04time you tell the truth of maybe losing
306. 12:06someone that you love because you don't
307. 12:08know how they're going to respond to
308. 12:09whatever your truth is. But I think to
309. 12:11live that way creates the intimacy and
310. 12:14connection that I think we long for
311. 12:17>> and also like sets people free in a way.
312. 12:20You and them truth. Yeah. Truth with
313. 12:24kindness. I think that's I think that's
314. 12:25going to have to be my choice by factor
315. 12:27of deduction.
316. 12:29>> Yeah. The Bhagat Gita gives four
317. 12:31principles for truth with kindness. The
318. 12:33first is what you speak should be
319. 12:35truthful.
320. 12:36>> Yes.
321. 12:36>> The second is it should be beneficial to
322. 12:38all.
323. 12:39>> Ooh. The third is it shouldn't agitate
324. 12:42the minds of others.
325. 12:44>> Wow.
326. 12:45>> And the fourth is it should be aligned
327. 12:46with eternal wisdom and timeless wisdom.
328. 12:50>> That's beautiful and perfect because
329. 12:53yeah, I think there's truths which are
330. 12:56if they're not beneficial that do just
331. 12:58agitate. I think that's
332. 13:00>> and it's not about not saying it. It's
333. 13:02the idea that you've thought so much
334. 13:04about how you say it. Yes. It's not that
335. 13:06you've sanitized it because that's the
336. 13:08modern day version. The Gita is not
337. 13:10telling you to sanitize or be silenced.
338. 13:12>> It's telling you to filter your thought
339. 13:15>> to make sure that the way you say it is
340. 13:17digestible.
341. 13:18>> Yes.
342. 13:19>> For for everyone who's going to hear it
343. 13:20and therefore it actually has
344. 13:22transformative power.
345. 13:23>> It's not that it's not provocative or
346. 13:25that it doesn't it's just that you're
347. 13:27not saying it in a way to trigger or get
348. 13:28a reaction.
349. 13:30>> You're saying in a way that hits someone
350. 13:31like an arrow of truth
351. 13:33>> and goes, I have to change.
352. 13:35>> Wow. because that person has been so
353. 13:37mindful of how they spoke.
354. 13:39>> Oh my god, that's incredible. That's
355. 13:42everything I've just been trying to say
356. 13:43about Yeah. If If we God, if everyone
357. 13:47was mindful enough about how they spoke
358. 13:49their truth that it could just go
359. 13:52straight to the heart. Oh
360. 13:54>> yeah.
361. 13:55>> Um
362. 13:55>> rather than hit the ego along the way
363. 13:57and the mind. And that's why we can't
364. 14:00talk because everything we say triggers
365. 14:02someone's mind or their ego and then
366. 14:04everything we say does it back. And so
367. 14:06now we're having a mind and ego debate
368. 14:09which
369. 14:09>> isn't the one that goes all the way to
370. 14:12tap, you know, in your
371. 14:13>> We're so focused on defending whatever
372. 14:15the thing is that we feel that we need
373. 14:16to defend that we just can't
374. 14:18>> can't get to the heart.
375. 14:19>> No, you can't hit the heart. Um, so
376. 14:22good. So good,
377. 14:24>> Emma. Thank you for
378. 14:26>> the longest recorded conversation in onp
379. 14:30purpose history. We had to change
380. 14:33>> the cards, the cameras. We had to like
381. 14:36and we haven't paused. Just so everyone
382. 14:38knows, just so everyone knows, me and
383. 14:39Emma have not moved. So, we didn't take
384. 14:41a break.
385. 14:42>> There was no bathroom break. There was
386. 14:44no break of whatever kind. We both sat
387. 14:46there was no coffee break. We have sat
388. 14:48in these seats the entire duration that
389. 14:50you watch this show or listen to it. And
390. 14:52to Emma, you have the uh you know, to
391. 14:55your competitive and winning spirit, you
392. 14:57have the award for longest ever podcast
393. 15:00recording.
394. 15:01>> I I I don't know whether to be mortified
395. 15:03or like seriously embarrassed or uh or
396. 15:08like think feel like this is some kind
397. 15:10of victory of some kind. I guess we sat
398. 15:11here for like and not moved for more
399. 15:13than 3 hours.
400. 15:14>> Really? Yeah.
401. 15:15>> Surely.
402. 15:16>> It's amazing.
403. 15:17>> Um that's amazing. Well, thank you for
404. 15:19Thank you so much. which has been such
405. 15:20an amazing conversation.