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Edith Eva Eger / Nazi Concentration Camp Survivor — Transcript

by Wingmen Ministries · 10,880 words · 1,834 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:16It gives us such strength to to be able
0:19to stand on the backs of each other. In
0:20fact, that's one of the sayings of the
0:21Wingmen, I got your back, brother.
0:37What Wingmen is about Wingmen is about
0:38relationships.
0:40It's about giving guys the opportunity
0:42to come together to be able to share
0:44their hopes, their desires, their their
0:46shortcomings. What Wingmen is about is
0:49diving deeper into those conversations,
0:51diving deeper into those relationships
0:53where we can encourage one another, we
0:55can accept, we can affirm, and we can
0:57hold one another accountable.
0:58It helps me
1:00relate to the problems other men are
1:03encountering in their life,
1:05which gives me
1:07some more tools to work with it.
1:18It's just a really good group.
1:20You know, open to anybody. Wingmen is
1:22not about church, it's not about
1:24religion.
1:25It's been just a phenomenal experience
1:27for me.
1:37One word to describe Wingmen for me, and
1:39that's relationships. Men are looking
1:41for something real. People are busier
1:43than they've ever been. This is a a
1:45group of men that are serious about
1:47being good men, being good fathers,
1:49being good and honest businessmen, and
1:52making an impact on their children, on
1:54their relationships, and we do that by
1:57being in strong relationships with each
1:59other. You need that in life.
2:01And you need your Wingmen beside you,
2:03and that's what this provides. It's
2:06about
2:07holding each other accountable. It's
2:09about having somebody by your side that
2:12you can share your your biggest
2:13problems, your biggest concerns with,
2:15and you know he's not going to judge
2:16you,
2:17but he's going to hold you accountable.
2:30Good evening.
2:33Good evening. I'm glad you're here. As
2:34you can tell, one of the reasons why are
2:36we here?
2:37You know, we're we're men's ministry,
2:39but predominantly why we're here, we are
2:40looking for a good excuse to come
2:42together to support one another because
2:43football season's over with.
2:45And we needed something to do, right?
2:49Hey, yeah, that's right, Kevin. We're
2:50not supposed to tell secrets.
2:53But I'm glad you're here tonight, and I
2:54just um
2:56wanted to say a few things. Wanted to
2:58thank Irving Bible Church for allowing
3:00us to utilize their facility to have Dr.
3:02Eger come and to speak to you all. Dr.
3:05Eger's had a very busy day today. She's
3:07spoke at Liberty Christian School to
3:10several hundred kids there as well as
3:12parents, and this is actually her third
3:15engagement. And for an 87-year-old lady,
3:17she is full of energy, and she's doing a
3:20phenomenal job.
3:22But one of the reasons why we wanted to
3:24do this, too, is to
3:26let some of you know, some of you
3:27already do know, but about Wingmen.
3:30Wingmen is the host. We're putting this
3:32on today because this is one of the
3:33opportunities that we have as men to to
3:35reach out to the community, to to give
3:37back.
3:38We base this ministry off of 1 Samuel
3:4022, the first two verses, 1 and 2.
3:43And in those verses it talked about King
3:45David fleeing the king of Gath, the
3:46Philistine king, and he went to the cave
3:48of Adullam.
3:50And there he said that everybody that
3:51was in distress, everybody that was in
3:53debt, everybody that was discontented
3:55went to him. And what does that mean?
3:57You know, in in a modern contemporary
3:59setting. Those guys are in distress.
4:01Those are the individuals that
4:03hey, I'm on the verge of divorce.
4:05Hey, I've got a substance abuse problem.
4:07Hey, I've got an addiction problem.
4:09Or or they're contemplating suicide, one
4:11of those things that where they pray
4:13that very powerful prayer, God help me.
4:16Those guys are in debt. Those are the
4:18guys who potentially could be, you know,
4:20anyone. Any If you're unemployed,
4:22underemployed, it could be also those
4:24guys who have made a heck of a lot of
4:25money. But they look back in their lives
4:27and say, hey, there's got to be
4:28something more to life than this.
4:31And then those guys who are
4:32discontented.
4:34Those are the guys who
4:35who unfortunately today, not an
4:37indictment against the American church,
4:38but the primary reason why a lot of men
4:40go to church are for their wives and for
4:41their kids.
4:42Church is meaningless to them.
4:45And we're there to to to
4:47accept, to affirm, and to hold them
4:49accountable. So, you got the three days,
4:51but we also have that triple A roadside
4:53service. It's the three A's.
4:56Cuz you look at, you know, the primary
4:58means, the psychological means, the the
4:59physical needs of a man, you know, the
5:01physical intimacy always ranks right up
5:03there, but it's also the opportunity
5:05that a man needs to be affirmed. He
5:06needs to be told or needs to at least
5:09have those feelings that his life
5:10counts, his life matters. He is honored
5:14as an individual,
5:15as a son of the living God who we all
5:17strive to be.
5:19So, we accept, we affirm, and and the
5:20purpose of Wingmen essentially is to
5:23encourage men to form those transparent,
5:25Christ-centered, masculine
5:26relationships. That's all we are. We're
5:29not a church. We're not necessarily a
5:31para-ministry organization. We're not
5:33here to supplant the church, we're here
5:34to support the church.
5:36Cuz the model in which we kind of do our
5:38thing is we gather together, we do put
5:40on corporate events.
5:42We typically meet at the Lancaster
5:43Theater every other Friday. So, we meet
5:46twice a month corporately, and I bring
5:47in great speakers, anything from
5:49individuals like Dr. Eger to
5:51professional athletes, Navy SEALs,
5:54um businessmen,
5:56individuals that just have a valid story
5:58that can relate to men.
6:00Those are the individuals that come and
6:01speak, but the lifeblood of our
6:02organization is on the opposing Fridays
6:04where we have groups, small groups of
6:05men we call element groups that gather
6:07together
6:09and
6:10meet at an IHOP, meet at a Corner
6:11Bakery,
6:13where they sit across the table from
6:14each other, look across the table and
6:16say, hey, Bob, how's it going?
6:19You know, Bob kind of goes the typical
6:21male response, hey, it's it's good. And
6:23you look at him and you go, okay,
6:25bull.
6:26Tell me what's going on.
6:28And the guys can be transparent cuz they
6:30know what's said there stays there, and
6:31it's a safe safe location, it's a safe
6:34venue.
6:36That's what Wingmen is.
6:39And we're there
6:41to just provide that aspect of
6:43acceptance, affirmation, and
6:44accountability.
6:46But one of the things that we're also
6:47trying to do is we're also trying to
6:48reach out and to give back, to encourage
6:50our guys to get involved cuz a faith
6:51without works is a dead faith.
6:53A lot of our guys get involved in the
6:55community by
6:56doing prison ministry,
6:58by, you know, helping widows and orphans
7:01repair their cars,
7:02of just getting involved in whatever
7:05aspect, whatever God has placed on their
7:06heart. That's what we do to support.
7:08We've also started up this past year
7:11another element of Wingmen called
7:13Wingmen Varsity where we're going into
7:14schools,
7:16and we're trying to impact those young
7:18men
7:19by giving them mentors. You know,
7:21unfortunately a lot of times, you know,
7:23through athletics, there's a lot of
7:24young men out there that that don't have
7:25dads.
7:27They don't have parents, you know, both
7:28parents may be incarcerated, whatever,
7:30but we're there to provide that male
7:33mentorship, that male role model through
7:35the coaches.
7:36And again, we're not in competition with
7:38I Am Second, with FCA, with Young Life.
7:41We're there to support and to lift up
7:43those organizations who are doing a
7:44great work.
7:46But we're there, you know, we're trying
7:47to stem the tide of just Christian men
7:49coming together
7:51to do what God's called us to be, to be
7:53the salt and light, to be that city on a
7:55hill.
7:56And
7:57to follow whatever that will, whatever
7:59that purpose that is in each and every
8:00one of us that God is calling us to do.
8:02That's what Wingmen is.
8:04So, in in that spirit of that aspect
8:07tonight,
8:08since this is free for
8:11do this periodically,
8:13but we highlighted one local charity
8:15where we're trying to raise funds for.
8:18We're trying to give back.
8:20Our local charity is Christian Community
8:21Action this evening.
8:24Christian Community Action is a is a
8:26service that really helps
8:28people who are at risk. Those
8:30individuals who can't make payments on
8:33bills, who may have just found
8:35themselves without of out of work.
8:38These are individu- What CCA does is is
8:40they provide food services, they provide
8:42medical services, they provide training.
8:45They've impacted over 10,000 people
8:47annually
8:50in a variety of different services.
8:52They have different stores, uh
8:55Christian Community Action stores in
8:56different municipalities throughout the
8:57Metroplex where they sell goods to help
9:00support the ministry.
9:02But CCA, what it does is it it really is
9:05the true holistic
9:07missions or ministry
9:10where they're helping the mind, body,
9:11and soul.
9:13And there's going to be an opportunity,
9:14I'll play a video here that'll shortly
9:16that'll show a little bit more about
9:17what they do and what their ministry is,
9:19but
9:20you know, as the Lord leads you, I'd
9:22like for you to ask when you leave,
9:24there they have a table set out there,
9:25but there will also be some individuals
9:26with baskets who will be just taking
9:28donations on their behalf tonight. So,
9:31if you're called,
9:33please please give. Okay?
9:36So, with that, if we could roll the
9:38video for Christian Community Action.
13:11You know, unfortunately,
13:13CCA is probably the best kept secret
13:14around. Not too many folks really know
13:17about what they're doing, and I'm trying
13:18to help them change that.
13:20So, if you can help me join me in in in
13:22doing that, that would be just awesome.
13:24Because they're really trying to give a
13:26people a a hand up, and not necessarily
13:28a handout.
13:30Um
13:31some of you have had questions about
13:32tonight. We will We are videotaping this
13:35presentation. So, if you had friends or
13:37family members or individuals who
13:38couldn't be here tonight, you can go to
13:40our website, wingmen.org.
13:44I don't know if we had a slide for that.
13:45wingmen.org.
13:47And for those of you men who are
13:49potentially interested in
13:51coming to see what we're all about, next
13:54time we meet at the Land Castle 3 Eatery
13:56in Grapevine, 300 South Main Street, Dr.
13:58John Townson will be our next speaker
14:00there this next Friday, not tomorrow,
14:03but the next Friday.
14:05Um so, wingmen.org,
14:08you can learn all about that, too.
14:10Now, before I bring Dr. Eger up,
14:13it's always a custom that we do at
14:14Wingmen, I'd like to do it here tonight,
14:15too.
14:16I'd like for you to just take a couple
14:17minutes, get out of your comfort zone,
14:20reach across the aisle or reach across
14:22the chair, shake somebody's hand you
14:23don't know,
14:24introduce yourselves.
14:29As I mentioned before, we have I bring
14:32in
14:32speakers from across the broad
14:34demographic of experiences to speak at
14:37Wingmen. Well, this past October,
14:40through my good friend and actually Dr.
14:42Eger's bodyguard,
14:46Mike Hogue. Mikey boy. Mikey boy, that's
14:48right.
14:50We call him Huggy Bear.
14:52But, uh
14:55she is the first female that's ever
14:56addressed our men in almost over 10
14:59years of ministry. And I tell you,
15:03to hold the attention of 150 plus guys
15:05for over an hour,
15:07literally
15:08the men, I mean, am I not right? We're
15:10eating out of the palm of her hand.
15:13It's a special lady.
15:15It is a very special lady.
15:17And I'm I'm
15:18I am I am proud, I am pleased to
15:20introduce tonight
15:23a lady that uh
15:25a beautiful young lady.
15:27You know how to talk to a woman.
15:31Oscar, take notes. Remind my wife Tammy
15:33that that she said that, okay?
15:35It's on tape.
15:35It's on tape.
15:41But, a young lady who has had so many
15:42experiences
15:44and had potentially had the opportunity
15:46just to say I I don't want to do it
15:48anymore,
15:49but to turn that around, to use that
15:51that that passion, that feeling for the
15:52good.
15:54It It is a gift of God and it's it's
15:55grace that she is here today and
15:59as a ballerina, she uh
16:02has some pretty good moves, too.
16:05That she may show us at some point in
16:06time, but
16:08let's all give a rousing I'll go Wingmen
16:10round of applause for Dr. Edith Eger.
16:19Thank you. Thank you.
16:22What a joy. What a wonderful experience.
16:29Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
16:32Shall we talk about love?
16:38I see a man right here
16:41who speak Hungarian.
16:44There you go. We have all kinds of
16:46people here.
16:48And I just met a wonderful man. His name
16:51is Oscar. Would you please come here,
16:54Oscar?
16:56Oscar
16:57uh fled Mussolini from Italy, the
17:01family, and he is here, and right away
17:05he said, "I have an Italian restaurant,
17:08and tomorrow I'm going to treat you."
17:10Absolutely.
17:11And what's the name of the restaurant?
17:13It's uh Patricio's, South Lake. Be sure
17:16that you go
17:18and experience.
17:20Thank you. I I told him I love osso
17:23buco, and that's what I'm going to get
17:26tomorrow with polenta. Polenta? Oh my
17:29god. Mangia, mangia.
17:31Yeah, that's Yeah.
17:35So, how can we turn life into a constant
17:38celebration?
17:40You know, this is evening time.
17:42And I was praying to God, what
17:45really can
17:48be tonight and in what way
17:51I can be guided
17:54and so I can guide you
17:56to somehow make peace with your past,
17:59with your roots,
18:01because that morning sunshine doesn't
18:04come back.
18:05I cannot offer you a happy childhood
18:08now,
18:09but I can tell you
18:11that you can be a good parent to you,
18:14that you can give yourself the gift of
18:16life.
18:18Life does Life style means to have more
18:21life.
18:22But, when we are born, you know,
18:25we are very helpless,
18:27very very helpless, and we depend on
18:30someone to take care of us.
18:34We all need touch, human touch. Babies
18:37who are not touched, they died They died
18:40of marasmus. It's called the shriveling
18:43of the spine. During World War II, there
18:46was this guy
18:49uh who uh went to the daycare center and
18:54saw babies being fed through some kind
18:58of a contraption, and
19:01and uh
19:03they were not picked up.
19:06His name was Rene Spitz.
19:09And uh the author he showed that the
19:13babies died of the shriveling of the
19:15spine called marasmus.
19:18And he said to the nurses, "You have to
19:21go out uh wherever you go, to the parks,
19:24and pick up all those people, and the
19:27babies have to be picked up." And the
19:29death rate stopped.
19:31So, I am sure that you are here We're
19:35all touched. Human touch is human touch.
19:38We all have skin hunger, and tonight I
19:41like to touch you. I like to touch your
19:44soul. I like to tell you that that uh
19:49there is hope in hopelessness. That's
19:52why I'm wearing the color green is the
19:55the color is for hope. And I can tell
19:59you how we don't seem to appreciate
20:01sometimes what we have until we lose it.
20:04And you will see that tomorrow I will
20:07finish everything on my plate.
20:09I take nothing for granted. I eat up
20:13Last night I eat up other people's
20:15leftovers.
20:16And
20:17and I had the best feeling in the on
20:20Texas has a good beef. You're good. And
20:25you have good people in Texas here. You
20:28are good wonderful people. I spoke to a
20:31school today. It's called Liberty
20:35Christian School. Anybody here from
20:37Liberty?
20:39Uh those most wonderful teachers.
20:42Everybody is smiling. And uh you see our
20:46children don't do what we say.
20:48They do what they see. People ask me,
20:51"What is the best thing for children?"
20:53And my answer is a happy marriage.
20:57And I hope that you are in a happy
20:59marriage. And I hope that uh tonight
21:03you're going to go home and see in what
21:06way whether you're treating yourself
21:08well, whether you are really finding
21:10hope in hopelessness, whether you are
21:12able to somehow be good role models. I
21:15travel all over the world, but when I
21:18met the Wingman
21:21I was so impressed.
21:23That they they pick up they pick up the
21:27the sons who doesn't have fathers. They
21:31go everywhere. They want to make the
21:34world a better place. So I'm going to
21:35call them the ambassadors for peace and
21:38goodwill. All the Wingman, would they
21:41please stand up and show show everyone
21:44how beautiful you are. Thank you so
21:47much. God love you.
21:50Thank you.
21:53I also would like to say that women
21:57would possibly start a Wing Woman.
22:02All right?
22:03Because you see I tell women
22:06that
22:08age is not an issue. Age is to me
22:13I don't count.
22:15I'm 86 years old. I know Hungarian women
22:18always lie about that that age. And
22:21people call me Zsa Zsa Gabor and all
22:23kinds of names that I've been gotten.
22:25But you see age is just a number. I feel
22:29younger now than when I came to America.
22:32When I came to America in 1949,
22:35I I didn't have $6 to get off the boat.
22:39My late husband who I met in a TB
22:42hospital in 1945, we were all
22:45shipwrecked. He was a partisan. And uh
22:49you know those days people wrote
22:51letters. We didn't have text. We didn't
22:55have any of that. We fall in love
22:58through letters. Writing letters. I was
23:01in a TB hospital and uh I didn't have
23:05TB. I had pneumonia. I had five kinds of
23:08typhoid fever. I was very very ill. And
23:12actually
23:14I was very suicidal.
23:17Because
23:19and this is what I find with the
23:20depressed people. When you get up in the
23:23morning and you don't see what you see
23:25what for.
23:27That you don't have any meaning in your
23:28life. That you don't have any purpose in
23:31your existence.
23:33The person of course that I adored and I
23:36met, I studied with, his name is Victor
23:39Frankl.
23:40Man's Search for Meaning would be a very
23:42good book for you to pick up because he
23:44was also in the camp. And uh
23:48I'm hug.
23:50Having such a wonderful experience with
23:53him and he talked about that existential
23:55vacuum. And I was very suicidal because
23:59you see it's easier to die than to live.
24:03If you look up your birth certificate
24:06it's not going to say that life is easy.
24:09I hope to make it easier.
24:12But it's not easy.
24:15Life is difficult. Look up your birth
24:18certificate. Does it say life is easy?
24:21Does it say there is a guarantee and
24:23certainty? No. But there is probability.
24:27So tonight I want to talk about the
24:30love. I'm going to talk about the faith.
24:33I'm talking about Auschwitz that became
24:36a kind of a doorway for many
24:38opportunities that I became a more
24:40resilient and more more person who I am
24:45not a strong woman. I am a woman of
24:49strength.
24:50And so are you.
24:52That that power comes from within
24:55because dependency breeds depression.
24:59So I came to America penniless. Why?
25:03Because I married Sometimes we talk
25:06about did you marry up or did you marry
25:08down?
25:09Well, I married up all right. But I
25:12didn't know who I married because I met
25:15this man and he had a grocery store and
25:18he had food.
25:20People ask me, "Did you love your
25:22Did you love your husband?" I say,
25:24"Love? What's that?"
25:26He had food.
25:29He had cheese.
25:31He had Swiss cheese.
25:37You see we don't grieve over what
25:39happened.
25:41We grieve over what didn't happen.
25:46I remember when my first
25:49granddaughter was born in San Diego,
25:52California.
25:54The pediatrician examined her little
25:58Lindsey
25:59and said, "This little girl is flexible.
26:02She might become a ballerina." And I
26:04said, "Great. Now I can die because of
26:07course my blood is in her and we have
26:11now three generations.
26:13And uh
26:15she became a ballerina.
26:18I saw the Nutcracker Suite 200 times.
26:22And uh
26:24And what happened that she went to a
26:26wonderful school in La Jolla, California
26:28where I live. And she went to Bishop's
26:31School.
26:33And uh she came to me and said,
26:35"Grandma, would you buy me a dress so I
26:38can go to my my dance?"
26:41I am a big sucker, the biggest sucker. I
26:43bought her the most beautiful dress. I
26:46think it was a Laura Ashley and I came
26:48home. And I began to cry. I didn't
26:50understand why am I crying? The word
26:53understand is very academic.
26:56You see if you want to understand
26:57something, go to the classroom.
27:00But you cannot heal what you don't feel.
27:04And I didn't realize that I'm not crying
27:07because Lindsey went to a dance. I cried
27:10because I never went to a dance.
27:13And this is the work I do today.
27:16I That's why I'm Dr. Edith Eger because
27:19I went to school and I didn't speak a
27:22word of English when I came to America.
27:24And guess what? It's only in America
27:28when you come last in a revolving door
27:30and then
27:31I graduated with honors from the
27:33University of Texas in El Paso. I want
27:37to tell you that this is where I want to
27:41show to you uh what happens when
27:45everything is taken away from you and
27:47you're relying from your inner strength.
27:51So I
27:54I want to take you on that journey
27:55because I married this man whose family
28:00was one of the wealthiest in
28:01Czechoslovakia.
28:03They not only had a grocery store, but
28:05they had a flour mill and uh what what
28:09not.
28:11But when the communists came
28:14they confiscated the business and they
28:15threw my husband in jail. You see I'm a
28:18survivor. I don't say why me.
28:21I'm saying now now what do I do?
28:25And I packed up. And I went to the jail
28:28and I took off my big diamond ring and I
28:31put this in my little girl's
28:34diaper and we fled overnight to Vienna.
28:38In Vienna, Austria I went to the
28:41American Consulate and I found out that
28:44I can come to America.
28:46And I came to America in 1949.
28:50I came to America in 1949 late in
28:53October and you had Halloween and I
28:56thought you're so funny. I didn't know
29:00what to do with my experience
29:03because I had survivor's guilt. I had
29:06survivor's shame.
29:09So if you ask me who I was, I would say
29:11who do you want me to be?
29:14Because I just wanted to be a Yankee
29:15Doodle Dandy. I wanted to be like you. I
29:18wanted to speak English without an
29:21accent. I spent three years at the
29:23university trying to get rid of my
29:25accent. It can show you know, let me
29:27tell you how far I've gotten with that.
29:30I had a beautiful professor who said,
29:32"Edith, I'm beginning to speak with a
29:34Hungarian accent.
29:36Why don't you get out of here? Your
29:38English is fine."
29:40So my little girl went to a daycare
29:43center. I worked in a factory doing
29:45piecework. And I remember my little girl
29:48telling me, "You have to buy a turkey
29:51because Thanksgiving is coming up."
29:54Well, I didn't know what a turkey,
29:56Thanksgiving, nothing because you see,
29:59if you're a child of an immigrant, and I
30:01don't know if you are, the children
30:03become the ambassadors. She learned how
30:06to how to speak English. She taught me
30:09Chicken Little, Goosey Lucy, Turkey
30:11Lurkey. I didn't know Lurkey from Turkey
30:14and Duckey from Lucky. And the children
30:16become the ambassadors. She She
30:19introduced me to Jiffy and and peanut
30:22butter and tuna fish. I didn't know any
30:25of that.
30:27And uh actually, I wrote my doctoral
30:30thesis
30:31on the idea that children who experience
30:34calamitous events do not grow up to be
30:36maladjusted human beings. On the
30:38contrary.
30:40On the contrary.
30:44You see, when I got married
30:49in 1946
30:56and I became pregnant
30:59and the doctor
31:01told me I can't have a child. I'm not
31:03strong enough.
31:05This is in Czechoslovakia and came to
31:07the house and and wanted to convince me
31:11that uh
31:12I'm not going to take that risk.
31:15But you see again, I am the survivor and
31:18I looked at the doctor and I said, "Sir,
31:21I want to give life.
31:23I don't want to take a life." And my
31:26little girl was born and she was a 10
31:28pounder and I could have had a horse
31:29doctor, you know.
31:31So, question authority if you have
31:35question authority. Don't just blindly
31:38adhere to authority. So, my little
31:402-year-old goes to a daycare center, a
31:42beautiful Christian woman uh Mrs. Bauer
31:46in Baltimore, Maryland took care of my
31:49little girl
31:50and uh and she came home and she said,
31:53"You got to buy a turkey." And of
31:55course, I couldn't afford the turkey.
31:58But I went to Pratt Street in Baltimore,
32:02Maryland and I looked across the street
32:04and they had a supermarket
32:07called Schreibers.
32:11I went to the supermarket and I found
32:13the smallest little chicken.
32:17And I told to the the teachers have to
32:19fire up to shed a light. I am a former
32:22teacher and a counselor in the state of
32:25Texas.
32:30I did my choreography.
32:32I was totally fired up. I did the high
32:35kick and I said, "Guess what, Mary Ann?
32:39We're going to have a baby turkey."
32:42So, the idea that you always turn
32:45something into an opportunity to find
32:49good in everything bad because maybe
32:52life is like going through a tunnel. You
32:55can't go above it or under it. You got
32:58to go through it. That's the only way.
33:00That's the only way to go through it.
33:03There is meaning in suffering. There is
33:06a way to have an opportunity for you to
33:09discover many, many traits and that's
33:12how I'm going to take you for that ride
33:16tonight.
33:19I was working very, very, very hard. I
33:22became a high achiever because I never
33:25thought I deserved to survive.
33:28So, I went to the university and I
33:30studied and I studied and I studied and
33:33I graduated with honors.
33:35But I never showed up for my graduation.
33:38They told me where to pick up my cap and
33:40gown
33:41because I said to myself, "I don't
33:44deserve it."
33:45Because my parents died, my friends died
33:49and I did not forgive myself
33:52that I survived.
33:55Today, I probably would shout from the
33:58rooftop.
34:00But at the time
34:01I never showed up for my graduation.
34:04I had tremendous shame and guilt that I
34:08survived.
34:10I didn't need the Nazis. I had one in me
34:13that really didn't allow me
34:15even celebrate my hard work.
34:19So, I began to work
34:21in a military hospital
34:24doing my doctoral work and I began to
34:26work with post-traumatic stress
34:28disorder.
34:30This is William Beaumont Army Medical
34:32Center in Fort Bliss, Texas.
34:35And I never forget
34:37that I had two paraplegics.
34:40Both coming from Vietnam. Same
34:42symptomatology, same diagnosis, same
34:46prognosis.
34:47Two entirely different responses.
34:52One of them was in a fetal position. Why
34:54me?
34:56Screaming at country, God, you name it.
35:01Why me?
35:03Conversely, the other one
35:06said to me, "You know, hey doc,
35:09it's very interesting.
35:11Uh God has given me a second chance in
35:14life and I'm I can see my children now
35:19much closer. I can see the flowers and
35:23you know, I'm just so grateful that I
35:27have this new beginning now.
35:29And I have a white coat and it says Dr.
35:32Eger, Department of Psychiatry and I'm
35:35feeling like an impostor."
35:39Because I had a 16-year-old in me
35:43that I didn't face, that I ran away
35:45from, that I had a secret.
35:48And this a secret had me.
35:51And they're the ones that I'm so
35:53grateful for because I decided it's time
35:57to go back to Auschwitz.
36:00And this is the work I do today
36:03to guide people to face their fears to
36:06revisit those places where they've been.
36:11But not to camp there.
36:13Not to set up household there. I'm going
36:15through the valley of the shadow of
36:17that.
36:19But not getting stuck in there.
36:23So, I called my sister Magda who was
36:25with me in Auschwitz.
36:27And I said
36:29"We lost our family and I never went to
36:32a funeral. I want to go and honor my
36:36parents.
36:37Would you come with me?" And my sister
36:39said, who is 92 years old, who is uh
36:45master
36:46in bridge.
36:51And sometimes she plays with Omar
36:54Sharif.
36:55And she tells me
36:57he doesn't look like he did in Doctor
37:00Zhivago.
37:03Anyway, my sister Magda said to me, "I
37:07think you're an idiot.
37:09What's the matter with you? Are you a
37:11masochist or something?"
37:13But I'm going to take you with me
37:16because that was the most positive
37:18positive journey I have ever taken.
37:23Because I needed to go back to that
37:25lion's den. I needed to look at that
37:27lion in a face. I'm needing to
37:31uh finally forgiving myself that I
37:34survived. And so, when I arrived in
37:37Auschwitz
37:38the other day I saw a movie called uh
37:42Saving Mr. Banks.
37:46And I love Yogi Berra who said, "It
37:48ain't over until it's over."
37:51You know, I'm still not done because
37:53there was a father-daughter relationship
37:56in that movie. It's a very good one.
37:58And my father came to me
38:01came to me and I began to cry and cry
38:03buckets because my father was a tailor
38:08who became a couturier
38:10uh
38:11a dress designer.
38:13And I had two beautiful sisters.
38:17Magdalena who's alive, Clara who was a
38:20child prodigy in violin and she was
38:25accepted at the music conservatory in
38:27Budapest and uh she was already in a
38:31camp when her Christian professor
38:34smuggled her out and hid her until the
38:36end of the war.
38:38You are those kind of people. I know. I
38:41was in a school today and they're
38:43reading the book The Hiding Place by
38:46Corrie ten Boom. I highly recommend
38:49because she is my hero. She and I
38:51lectured at the William Jewell Baptist
38:55College in Missouri. Anybody from there?
38:59Ah, there you go. There you go.
39:02So, as I tell you the story, as you see
39:05what I'm doing, I'm going from here to
39:07here and here to here because it's the
39:10hardest talk. I can talk to you about
39:14psychology, philosophy, everything.
39:18But my father came to me because when I
39:22was young, she looked at me and she said
39:26"Out of the three girls, you have the
39:28best figure.
39:30And when you grow up, you'll be the best
39:32dressed girl in town."
39:35And I will say, "Papa,
39:38watch me. Watch me.
39:41I like to I like to put my service where
39:43together.
39:45I go for sales.
39:49I'm pretty good. If you want to go
39:51shopping for designers clothes, take me
39:54with you. I know which one I know which
39:57one to get.
39:58So, you know
40:01it's not over.
40:03I'm still in a process of becoming and
40:05once I arrive, I'll be dead and that's
40:08okay. That's okay because that is
40:12the last celebration of life Elizabeth
40:14Kubler-Ross talked about it. But the But
40:17it has the stages, the shock, the
40:19denial, the anger. And of course, anger
40:23anger will protect you.
40:26Anger that's why people are not letting
40:28go of the anger because then you feel
40:30that deep hurt and pain.
40:34But I'm hoping to be a guide to you
40:36tonight.
40:37That you can somehow welcome tomorrow as
40:41the Valentine's Day. That you choose
40:43love.
40:45That you choose love because love can
40:47conquer all. And self-love is self-care.
40:50It's not narcissistic. Selfish people
40:54don't like themselves.
40:56So, when I was in a cattle car
40:59my mom said to me
41:01we don't know where we going. We don't
41:02know what's going to happen. Just
41:04remember
41:05no one can take away from you what you
41:08put here in your own mind. And that's
41:10why I love to speak to young people
41:13because they are the future. They are
41:15the future presidents of this United
41:18States and we are responsible to be good
41:21role models to them.
41:24I have no time to hate. If I would hate,
41:26I would still be a prisoner.
41:29But I know that my parents had to die so
41:32I can be here with you tonight.
41:36And so when I arrived in May 1940
41:404 in Auschwitz
41:43it's documented by the Red Cross. So, I
41:45know that it was May 22nd, 1944
41:50uh 44 and I never forget the day
41:54when I met
41:57the angel of death.
41:59He was no angel, called Dr. Mengele.
42:03And Dr. Mengele pointed to the left and
42:05pointed to the right.
42:08And I held my mom and my sister held my
42:12mom
42:13and she was in the middle
42:15and Dr. Mengele pointed my mom to go
42:18this way
42:19and my sister and I that way.
42:24I followed my man my mom and and the
42:28very man
42:30who sent my parents to the gas chamber
42:34grabbed me, looked me in the eye and
42:36said you're going to see your mother
42:37very soon. She's just going to take a
42:39shower.
42:41So, you think my life was in Dr.
42:43Mengele's hand?
42:45I don't think so.
42:47I think God had a plan for me
42:50to be here with you
42:52and talk to you about resilience,
42:55perseverance
42:57and the inner strength.
43:00So, when we arrived in a place called
43:03Guns not Gunsy. Um
43:05Birkenau.
43:07Because the women were in Birkenau, the
43:09men were in Auschwitz. I asked one of
43:12the inmates, "When will I see my
43:15mother?" She She pulled out my earrings.
43:19I was bleeding. I said, "I would have
43:22given it to you." But this is called
43:25displaced aggression because she took
43:28her
43:29anger out in me. I am part of the final
43:32solution in Eichmann. I was one of the
43:35last ones to go
43:37to Auschwitz. Many people call me the
43:39Anne Frank who didn't die because I had
43:43the same background she did. I studied
43:45Latin and Greek and I became very very
43:48erudite. I remember my two sisters
43:52blindfolded me because I was cross-eyed
43:56and that I didn't want anybody to see
43:59my ugly face. Today I tell children,
44:02"Don't allow other people to define who
44:04you are. You're beautiful because God
44:06doesn't make junk."
44:12I I can tell you that my mom told me I
44:15was about 10 years old
44:18and she said
44:21"I'm so glad
44:22that you have brains
44:24because you have no looks."
44:28And I walked in the streets of Hungary
44:31and I looked down because I didn't want
44:33you to be in shock of my ugly face.
44:37I'm not I'm not angry at my mom.
44:40But she always told me to show my
44:43physical beauty rather than She told me
44:46not to play bridge with the guys because
44:48I'm never going to get a husband.
44:51You see those days
44:54the boys were taught to become somebody.
44:58But the girls were taught to find
45:00somebody.
45:01Because you're nobody till somebody
45:04loves you.
45:05Well, you are a somebody.
45:07I am a somebody.
45:10And now
45:11things are very different.
45:14Because now
45:16when my daughter got pregnant, she
45:18didn't tell me I'm pregnant. She said,
45:21"We are pregnant."
45:23They go to the Lamaze method. They do
45:26everything together.
45:28And that's why I love the pioneer woman
45:31in America because she didn't have to
45:33burn her bras and she was alongside of
45:37of her man.
45:39The industrial society,
45:41I think when women completely became
45:45dependent on men. I have worked very
45:49hard uh building transitional living
45:52centers for battered wives. I do
45:54everything in my power
45:57to let men know not to No matter how
46:02your wife is nagging, no matter what she
46:05does, it doesn't ever give you a license
46:07to put your hand
46:09on your woman.
46:11I came home from Washington, D.C. I
46:15talked to the Marines about sexual
46:17harassment. I'm bringing it to the fore.
46:20I want to do everything preventatively
46:22that we can about that. So
46:36when I asked her, "When will I see my
46:39mother?"
46:40She pointed at the chimney and fire was
46:43coming out of the chimney.
46:45And she said
46:47"Your
46:48Your mother is burning there. You might
46:51as well talk about her in past tense."
46:54So, the question I ask you how can you
46:57find within you
46:59when nothing comes
47:02from without?
47:05And my sister and I hugged each other
47:07and she said
47:09"The spirit never dies."
47:12And I know my parents' spirit is here
47:14with me tonight. And I want to really
47:17let you know that the most beautiful
47:19gift of God is a good gift of memory.
47:24And I remember I needed to go back to
47:27Auschwitz. I needed to thank my mother
47:29that she she was right.
47:32Because today my name is Dr. Edith Eva
47:34Eger.
47:39I
47:40touch
47:41everything. When I went back to
47:43Auschwitz, I found the barrack. Um
47:47I don't know if that was the barrack
47:49where I was.
47:52But I was wondering, is there such a
47:54thing as a survivor's personality?
47:58What What What makes a survivor's
48:01personality versus a victim's
48:03personality?
48:05I think survivors are flexible. Not
48:08rigid.
48:10So, when we hugged and Magda told me,
48:14"The spirit never dies." Next thing we
48:16knew that we were shipped completely.
48:20Completely.
48:23So, here comes my sister, Magda who was
48:26the pretty one in my family
48:29and she has her hair
48:31in her palms and asked me, "How do I
48:34look?"
48:35It's a Hungarian girl's question. "How
48:39do I look?"
48:41Now, I realized that I became her
48:43mirror.
48:45And I had a choice as you have a choice
48:48now whether you're going to point out
48:50what is right about the person, what is
48:52good about that person
48:55or you're going to
48:56pay attention
48:58what they lost right now.
49:01And I remember
49:03I said to Magda
49:07"You have beautiful eyes and you know I
49:10didn't see it when you had your hair all
49:12over the place."
49:17That's where I began to practice.
49:20You know why the Seahawks won. You know
49:23that.
49:24Because they studied the Denver Broncos
49:29and some of the people are my patients
49:32who went up to New York to support the
49:35Broncos and came home they were
49:38slaughtered.
49:41Because the
49:43because the Seahawks work with uh
49:47Ralph Jackson
49:52who
49:53teaches you to find the power within
49:56you.
49:58The prayers
50:00really helped.
50:03That's where I discovered what God
50:06the God that showed me that I can change
50:10hatred into pity.
50:14And that night Dr. Mengele came to the
50:16barracks and he wanted to be entertained
50:18and guess what?
50:20My friends who knew that I was the one
50:24Come on. Come on, little Hungarian guy.
50:26Come on.
50:27Come on, honey. Come on.
50:30Come on.
50:31I was a dancer.
50:33And I I welcomed Hungarian president.
50:38And I'm going to show you a czardas.
51:03Thank you very much.
51:13I was such a Hungarian nationalist. I
51:16cried when I heard the anthem.
51:20But Hungary was taken over by the Nazis
51:23uh
51:23March 1944.
51:27So Dr. Mengele came
51:30and wanted to be entertained and guess
51:32what? They volunteered me.
51:35And I was dancing for Dr. Mengele
51:39who pointed who to take to the gas
51:41chamber.
51:43And I began to pray.
51:47Not for me.
51:48I I began to pray for him.
51:52So he won't send me to the gas chamber.
51:55And I closed my eyes.
51:57And I pretended that the music was
51:59Tchaikovsky. And I was dancing the Romeo
52:02and Juliet at the Budapest Opera House.
52:06Today I told the children, the precious
52:08children at the school, that I did
52:10research.
52:12And most students spend only 10 minutes
52:15a whole week being 100% in the class.
52:20They they dissociate.
52:24And if you were perhaps abused as a
52:27child
52:29if you were sexually abused as a child,
52:32that's when that's when your childhood
52:34ended.
52:37And you were far more imprisoned than I
52:39was in Auschwitz because I knew who was
52:41the enemy. I was told every day I'm
52:43never going to get out of here alive.
52:46So I danced for Dr. Mengele and I'm
52:49praying for him. And he gave me a piece
52:52of bread.
52:54And I was on the top. The
52:57It was three layers.
52:59And we had one hand, one foot, one hand,
53:02one foot. So if you wanted to turn
53:04around, you had to go 1 2 3. All six of
53:07us. Cooperation was the name of the
53:09game, not competition, not domination.
53:13All we had was each other then. And
53:15guess what? All we have is each other
53:18now.
53:19Life was very difficult in in Auschwitz
53:22because we didn't know what's going to
53:24happen next. There is difference between
53:27stress is good, but distress is when you
53:30don't know what's going to happen next.
53:32When I began to work with Vietnam
53:34veterans, they had survivor's guilt
53:36because they thought if I would have
53:38been here instead of there, then my
53:40buddy wouldn't have died.
53:43And after all these years
53:46they're still there. They're not capable
53:48of somehow moving beyond. I do a lot of
53:51work with post-traumatic stress
53:54disorder. I have it, too.
53:56I have it, too.
53:59When I see a policeman, I startle.
54:03I remember I was driving
54:0840 miles an hour in a 25-mile zone.
54:12And I was
54:14clocked.
54:17I began to
54:19have tachycardia. I'm shaking.
54:22Okay. And I'm begging not to get the
54:25ticket with all my charm. I did get the
54:28ticket anyway. It didn't work. So I'm
54:32telling my daughter
54:34what happened.
54:36And my daughter, who's a brilliant
54:39psychologist, and
54:42she said to me, "Mother,
54:44it's only money."
54:47It had nothing to do with money.
54:50I know that I was driving in La Jolla
54:53and one part of uh of a street is
54:57blocked off with barbed wire. The minute
55:01I saw the barbed wire
55:03I have flashbacks. I'm in Auschwitz.
55:08People died in Auschwitz before the
55:10Nazis got to them.
55:13We called those people the Musselmann,
55:15the walking dead.
55:17And people also ran into the barbed
55:20wires and they were electrocuted.
55:23So Auschwitz was very very very
55:25difficult because we never knew when I
55:28take a shower whether water is going to
55:30come out or gas.
55:32But I remember that
55:36we try to try to try to stay alive to
55:40help one another. My blood was drawn
55:43about twice a week and I spoke German
55:46fluently. I asked, "Why do you take my
55:49blood?" And the guy said to me, "I take
55:51your blood to aid the German soldiers
55:55so we can win the war
55:58and take over the world,
56:01especially America."
56:05I couldn't yank my arm away. I wouldn't
56:07be here telling you about it. But I said
56:09to myself,
56:13"With my blood, you're never going to
56:15win the war."
56:17So So now I know what Bob Hope is doing
56:20with humor.
56:22With humor, that's the best
56:23tranquilizer. And if you want to sleep
56:27have
56:2810 minutes a day belly laugh and you're
56:31never going to have insomnia.
56:33Try it.
56:35Better than sleeping pills.
56:40I stood in line to get my tattoo.
56:42I didn't get it. I was told I'm going to
56:44the gas chamber. They don't want to
56:46waste the ink on me.
56:48And we said goodbye to each other. And
56:51next thing I knew there was a hand
56:55picking me up, putting me on a top of a
56:57tray train and we carried ammunitions
57:01for the Nazis. I was taken out of
57:03Auschwitz. I think it was December 1944.
57:08I carried ammunitions. I worked in
57:10factories. I
57:13As as the Russians came from one end,
57:15Americans from the other end.
57:18Of course, I wouldn't be here today
57:21without the Normandy invasion.
57:28But I'd like to tell you
57:30that we were put one time
57:33in a little German village in a
57:36community hall and we were told if you
57:39dare to leave the premises, you're going
57:41to be shot right away.
57:44My sister Magda, who was heavier than I
57:47was, suffered more from hunger than I
57:50did. I remember eating the soup and
57:53saving the bread so I can give it to her
57:56the following day.
57:58So she told me if I don't get some food,
58:00I'm going to die. And I went outside and
58:02I saw some carrots in the next garden. I
58:06didn't have any respect for other
58:08people's property. And I jumped and I
58:11stole the carrots and I came up and I
58:15met
58:16the man with a gun.
58:19I never held a gun in my life.
58:22But I heard the clicking about three
58:24times again.
58:27I started to pray not for me.
58:30And there was an eye contact.
58:33And he looked at me and I don't know how
58:34many of you had German fathers.
58:37You know, he had that look, that
58:39fatherly look that I'm going to teach
58:41you a lesson right now. And he turned
58:43the gun around and he pushed me inside.
58:48I had the carrots.
58:50I gave it to Magda. Shared the carrots
58:54with the girls. And the following
58:55morning came and wanted to know who
58:58dared to
58:59to break the rules.
59:02And I growled to him and I'd like you to
59:04know that this is April 1945 when the
59:07German people are starving. And he gave
59:10me a little loaf of bread.
59:12And he said, "You must have been very
59:14hungry for what you did."
59:18Wouldn't it be nice if I could meet that
59:20man today?
59:22You see, God sent this diamond my way.
59:27I wish I could see that man today.
59:31Not all Germans were Nazis.
59:35Not labeling
59:37is my way just to say that
59:41good people do bad things.
59:44But while it's happening, I'm here to
59:46tell you what have I learned about the
59:49power.
59:51The power of God that brought me here
59:53tonight with you. Things were much worse
59:56after that. I was in a place called
59:59Mauthausen standing in front of the
1:00:01crematoria and they changed their minds
1:00:04and I survived what is called today the
1:00:07death march. And in the death march
1:00:10in the death march
1:00:13if you shot uh if you stopped you were
1:00:16shot right away.
1:00:23I revisited that place
1:00:25myself. I saw the ditches.
1:00:29And I began to slow down and I'm
1:00:32speaking to God that I don't think I can
1:00:35walk any further because I'm very ill
1:00:38and I'm walking and I'm starting to stop
1:00:42and the girls that I shared the bread
1:00:44with
1:00:46in Auschwitz came and they formed a
1:00:48chair with their arms and they carried
1:00:51me so I wouldn't die. Isn't that
1:00:53amazing?
1:00:55That if you're only for the me me me,
1:00:57you didn't make it.
1:01:01All we had was each other then and again
1:01:05all we have is each other now.
1:01:08I couldn't talk to that empty place
1:01:10here. I want to thank you so much for
1:01:13coming.
1:01:14And then I arrived in a place called
1:01:16Gunskirchen.
1:01:19Gunskirchen
1:01:21there was a plan
1:01:23that they put a bomb in each of the
1:01:26corners
1:01:28and we were going to be blown up there.
1:01:32That was the plan.
1:01:33And the man who was supposed to execute
1:01:36the order fled.
1:01:38And on May 4th, 1945
1:01:42the saints came marching in.
1:01:46The 71st
1:01:48infantry.
1:01:50Anybody who ever can find anyone from
1:01:54the 71st infantry
1:01:58the saints came marching in and
1:02:02they gave me M&M's
1:02:05and this morning that little girl in the
1:02:09school brought me M&M's.
1:02:14Imagine imagine.
1:02:16What is wonderful about that
1:02:19is that
1:02:21I was invited a while ago to go to Fort
1:02:25Carson
1:02:26Colorado
1:02:29and I arrived
1:02:30and there was a big sign welcome Dr.
1:02:33Edith Eger. I'm going to lecture on PTSD
1:02:38and I realized that it's the home of the
1:02:4071st infantry.
1:02:43Imagine how God works, how things come
1:02:46around. Isn't that amazing? But you see
1:02:49when we were liberated we were so
1:02:52brainwashed
1:02:54because I was told every day I'm never
1:02:55going to get out of here alive.
1:02:58So when we were liberated the gates were
1:03:00open and people would go through the
1:03:02gate but after a while they would come
1:03:05back.
1:03:07That's what's happening with the
1:03:08battered wife. She goes back anywhere
1:03:11from 7 to 15 times
1:03:13because she's so brainwashed there is no
1:03:16way she can make it without him.
1:03:19So so you see freedom is very scary
1:03:22because when you're free you can't pass
1:03:24the buck.
1:03:28But there is no freedom without
1:03:30responsibility. It's anarchy.
1:03:33In my practice I write constitutions for
1:03:37families.
1:03:38That there is no freedom without
1:03:40responsibility.
1:03:41I remember I was invited to dinner when
1:03:45I started to work with a family. They
1:03:47were just coming home to
1:03:50to the Midwest and mother introduced me
1:03:54to the children. This is my shy one,
1:03:57this is my giggly one and so on. And uh
1:04:01uh I was painfully shy as a child and
1:04:04when they sit down I turned to the shy
1:04:07one and I said uh
1:04:09you have such beautiful eyes and the
1:04:11mother kicked me under the table. Don't
1:04:14tell my daughter she's going to be
1:04:16conceited.
1:04:18All right? So I know there is no
1:04:20positive reinforcement in this family.
1:04:23And then there was a little boy,
1:04:24itty-bitty boy and went to mom and
1:04:27pulling mom because the boy wanted to be
1:04:30picked up and the mother was saying I'm
1:04:33busy, I'm busy, I'm busy.
1:04:35And uh
1:04:38little children
1:04:40are geniuses.
1:04:42I saw the little boy going to the living
1:04:44room. They just came back from Germany
1:04:47and they had those little dolls on the
1:04:49coffee table and just about he touched
1:04:53one mother came in, picked up the little
1:04:56boy. Didn't I tell you not to touch? See
1:04:59children learn
1:05:01how to get attention.
1:05:04Any attention, bad attention is better
1:05:06than no attention. Bad breath is better
1:05:09than no breath. And and so I I talk to
1:05:12parents
1:05:14about
1:05:16paying attention what you're paying
1:05:18attention to because this little boy now
1:05:21knows
1:05:22what to do
1:05:24to get picked up in this family.
1:05:27I hope that you will go home and you
1:05:30look at really your life and your family
1:05:34because you know the biggest
1:05:35concentration camp is in your own mind.
1:05:39And the key is in your pocket. And yes,
1:05:41I have a dream. I have a dream
1:05:44as long as I live
1:05:46that I'll do everything in my power to
1:05:49see to it
1:05:50that we can embrace each other that we
1:05:53can hold hand in hand
1:05:56and we can form a human family
1:05:59as those wonderful wing men are doing. I
1:06:02hope that you will start wing women
1:06:06here. Anybody wants to volunteer? Go see
1:06:10my little Mikey boy or
1:06:13Sean because this is a wonderful place
1:06:17here that we can really empower each
1:06:20other and form a human family that I can
1:06:23be I, you can be you but together we're
1:06:26going to be so much stronger. So much
1:06:29stronger than me alone and you alone and
1:06:31this is my dream and when I'm going to
1:06:34lie on my deathbed I'm never going to
1:06:37regret when I said yes to something. So
1:06:41yes, say yes to life. Say yes to the
1:06:44beautiful time that we had here tonight
1:06:48that
1:06:49we formed this wonderful human family
1:06:52here. I'm hoping that you will go home,
1:06:56that you will going to embrace your
1:06:59family that you're going to open up your
1:07:01heart because when I went back to
1:07:03Auschwitz and I was coming out I saw a
1:07:07a soldier a Polish soldier and for a
1:07:10moment I thought
1:07:13for a moment I thought I was in a camp
1:07:16and I am with the Nazi.
1:07:19But the realization that I had a blue
1:07:22American passport in my pocket
1:07:26I was able to reclaim my innocence. I
1:07:29was able to assign the shame and guilt
1:07:32to the perpetrator and finally sir
1:07:35finally forgive myself that I survived.
1:07:39I didn't go back to stop my Hungarian
1:07:42accent. You know, I'm not Popeye. I am
1:07:46what I am. I am what I choose to be.
1:07:49I'm as happy as I make up my mind this
1:07:52moment. What keeps me young? That I live
1:07:55in a present because I can only touch
1:07:57you now. I want to touch you and hug you
1:08:01and I want to love this wonderful
1:08:03evening, the memories that we made and
1:08:07I found God in the darkest places.
1:08:11And tonight I feel so wonderfully close
1:08:15to that wonderful heavenly God that
1:08:18brought me here
1:08:20to the wing men to the women, to the
1:08:23wonderful wonderful congregation here.
1:08:26God love you.
1:08:28Thank you so much.
1:08:30Thank you.
1:08:37Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
1:08:39Thank you.
1:08:40Thank you.
1:08:42Thank you.
1:08:48I was just going to say you should take
1:08:49your questions. Of course.
1:08:52Have a seat.
1:08:54Before we dismiss here too I just if
1:08:56anybody has any questions Dr. Eger would
1:08:58be happy to to take those. So
1:09:01the lights aren't too bright here I can
1:09:03see hands. Anybody have any particular
1:09:05questions that they'd like to ask Dr.
1:09:08Eger?
1:09:09Ma'am.
1:09:15Um you're such an inspirational person
1:09:17and you're so gorgeous even though
1:09:19you're 87. I hope I'm just like you. Um
1:09:22What's your biggest
1:09:23about midlife crisis. There is no such
1:09:26thing.
1:09:27There is no crisis in the world, there
1:09:29are only transitions. There are no
1:09:31problems in the world, there only
1:09:33challenges. Um, what's your biggest
1:09:35piece of advice for coping with things
1:09:37in general?
1:09:39Would you please repeat the question,
1:09:41honey? What's your biggest piece of
1:09:43advice for just coping with
1:09:45things in general?
1:09:49What biggest advice about coping?
1:09:59How do you cope with the unexpected and
1:10:01the unanticipated, right?
1:10:07Life is full of surprises.
1:10:10There is a difference between being
1:10:12childish or childlike.
1:10:15If you ask a child, "Why do you do
1:10:18that?" the child would say, "Because I
1:10:20feel like it."
1:10:21And that child is within us.
1:10:24And that child is 2 years old.
1:10:27And that language of a 2-year-old is, "I
1:10:30want, I need, I got to have, you're not
1:10:31going to make me, and I'm not going to."
1:10:34Okay? And that comes up for you when you
1:10:39have the gift of God, which is
1:10:41temptation.
1:10:44God gave us temptation, you know why?
1:10:47So you can practice the freedom of
1:10:49choice.
1:10:51But the childlike part is curious
1:10:55and wants to know what's going to happen
1:10:57next.
1:10:58So put on the childlike part
1:11:02because that's what kept me alive in
1:11:04Auschwitz, my curiosity. I wanted to
1:11:07know what's going to happen next.
1:11:12I understand that single people are
1:11:14meeting here tonight.
1:11:17And many times women come to me and say,
1:11:19"Edie, I need a man."
1:11:23I say, "You know, honey, if I were a
1:11:24man, I would run from you."
1:11:34If you want a man, be the fireplace that
1:11:37the moth wants to come close to.
1:11:40All right, because most of us are
1:11:42hungry.
1:11:44Hungry for affection, hungry for
1:11:46attention, hungry for approval. A lot of
1:11:49hunger that I see, and the money is not
1:11:53going to fill that.
1:11:55That hole
1:11:58in a soul.
1:12:00I like very much
1:12:02to really tell you tonight that the soul
1:12:05never dies, and it's true. It's true.
1:12:09I I talk about the Holocaust
1:12:12because
1:12:15because
1:12:17good people do bad things.
1:12:21We're not born to hate.
1:12:24We're not born to fear, either.
1:12:28But you can find that little child that
1:12:31is within you, and you can be the
1:12:34healthy parent to that child. And best
1:12:37thing parents can do today, and I keep
1:12:39telling them in school,
1:12:43to allow the child to be a good parent
1:12:45to themselves because you're not going
1:12:48to be there all the time.
1:12:51Because when you're a good parent, you
1:12:53give the children two things,
1:12:56roots and wings.
1:12:59Let them fly.
1:13:01The best four-letter word that I like a
1:13:04lot is to risk.
1:13:07If I would come to you right now, and I
1:13:10would say to you, "What's your name,
1:13:12precious?"
1:13:15Maya. Maya, my darling, come here. Come
1:13:17here. Um
1:13:20I would say to you, Maya,
1:13:24"I really would like you to get to know
1:13:26me.
1:13:28Uh not Dr. Eger, just Edie."
1:13:32And you'll say to me, "You know,
1:13:36I am very polite to elderly women like
1:13:38you.
1:13:40And to tell you the truth, uh I really
1:13:43don't like you, so why don't you just
1:13:46evaporate?" Okay.
1:13:49Yeah, so what did I do? I risked.
1:13:53I just didn't want to get what I wanted.
1:13:57But you see, I had a girl coming from
1:14:00the University of Texas
1:14:02and telling me that she wants to die
1:14:06because John rejected me.
1:14:09There is no such word as rejection.
1:14:11Rejection is a word that people make up
1:14:15when you don't get what you want. So
1:14:16give up the drama.
1:14:20Which Yeah.
1:14:22I wanted something and I didn't get it.
1:14:26So which God should I should get what I
1:14:28want, when I want it, how I want it, the
1:14:30way I want it? Thank you so much, so
1:14:32much. But you see, I think it's really
1:14:35important because I'm still ahead of the
1:14:37game because now I know where I stand
1:14:40with that person, but I was never
1:14:43rejected. The only one that can reject
1:14:45you is you.
1:14:47There you go. Thank you so much.
1:14:57Yes, ma'am.
1:14:59Good questions.
1:15:00I love to have a dialogue.
1:15:04Dr. Eger, thank you for your very
1:15:05inspiring story. Thank you.
1:15:08all take home a lot from it. You want to
1:15:10come and meet?
1:15:12I'd love to. Um very quickly though, um
1:15:15what did you Did you ever learn what
1:15:18happened to your husband who was jailed?
1:15:21My my late husband?
1:15:23Yes. Uh we were married 47 years. The TB
1:15:27came back
1:15:29and he died of TB
1:15:31in in San Diego.
1:15:33So did he come with you back to
1:15:35three children. I have five
1:15:37grandchildren, and I have three
1:15:40great-grandsons.
1:15:41That's the best revenge to Hitler as far
1:15:44as I'm concerned.
1:15:46Okay?
1:15:47Revenge.
1:15:49Revenge will give you some kind of
1:15:51satisfaction,
1:15:56but it's temporary. Okay. Doctor, you
1:15:58have one more here. One more.
1:16:01Um
1:16:02when you were in Auschwitz, did you
1:16:04pray, and did you
1:16:06How did
1:16:07Beautiful question. I didn't cry in
1:16:08Auschwitz.
1:16:09No, pray. Pray. Pray, yes.
1:16:12in Auschwitz, did you Did you pray, and
1:16:14did you feel that God was slow?
1:16:17And how did you heal about trusting God
1:16:22after going through that? I did.
1:16:26I turned to God.
1:16:28I turned to God
1:16:30uh
1:16:32realizing that God didn't kill my
1:16:34parents.
1:16:36People did.
1:16:38Precious children who were told that
1:16:40today Germany and tomorrow the whole
1:16:42world. You see, in some ways, perhaps we
1:16:46are all victims of victims.
1:16:49That's why there is no blame here,
1:16:53but there is self-responsibility
1:16:55that I'm hoping blame.
1:16:58Children blame. "I didn't do that. I
1:17:00didn't do that. It was my brother who
1:17:02did it." I ask parents not to ask why
1:17:05questions. "Why did you hit your
1:17:07brother?" "Because he hit me first."
1:17:11And then mother says, "Don't lie to me."
1:17:12And then I tell the mother, "If you
1:17:14don't want your child to lie, don't ask
1:17:16why."
1:17:20People only lie if you ask questions.
1:17:23"How are you?" "Fine." "Fine." I used to
1:17:25ask my patients, "How are you?" "Fine."
1:17:27"Fine." They weren't fine, they were
1:17:29suicidal. But the next time they came
1:17:32in, I would say, "Gee, it's good to see
1:17:34you. I missed you."
1:17:36So 1 hour a woman comes in and a child
1:17:39is dying
1:17:41from leukemia,
1:17:43and we hug and we cry together, and the
1:17:45next hour someone comes in
1:17:48with the same tears and tells me that
1:17:51her
1:17:53her new Porsche came in and it's not the
1:17:56color that she wanted.
1:17:59Now, do I tell her that she you should
1:18:02have been here an hour ago, and should
1:18:05have No. No. No, I don't minimize it. I
1:18:08like to listen compassionately.
1:18:11In the English language, if you want
1:18:13someone to come from here to here, all
1:18:16you have to say is sounds like and throw
1:18:19in a feeling word. Sounds like you said
1:18:21about that. Sounds so you can feel the
1:18:23feeling because you can't heal what you
1:18:26don't feel. There is grieving, there is
1:18:29feeling, and there is healing.
1:18:34I work with cancer patients, and I work
1:18:37with the doctors who do the curing,
1:18:41but the healing is an inside job.
1:18:44And I've been going every year here to
1:18:47Tyler
1:18:48to the cancer clinic. It's a wonderful,
1:18:51wonderful, wonderful place. And the
1:18:56chief
1:18:57nurse is coming in tomorrow, and I'm
1:19:00going to have lunch with Oscar. And
1:19:04so you see, we are really a family here.
1:19:09And I'm just hoping that you're going to
1:19:12talk to people who are not here with us.
1:19:15Maybe talk to us
1:19:17um
1:19:18in a way
1:19:20wherever you are, and talk about the
1:19:23Wing Man and organize something because
1:19:27we are here in this world that we are
1:19:30going to be remembered. I think it's a
1:19:33very good thing for you to go home and
1:19:36write your obituary column and see how
1:19:38you want to be remembered because this
1:19:42is your movie and you are the director
1:19:45and the producer of your movie here. How
1:19:49would you like your movie to end? I know
1:19:51when I'm going to lie on my death bed,
1:19:54I'm not going to feel that my life was
1:19:56based on wrong assumptions. I know that
1:19:59my parents are now somehow
1:20:03somehow thinking, "By God, she's got
1:20:05it." And this is the biggest gift that I
1:20:08can give to my husband.
1:20:11That he is
1:20:13winking and saying, "By God, she's got
1:20:16it."
1:20:17And the best gift I can give to my
1:20:19husband that he didn't leave a
1:20:20here because if I can't live with my
1:20:23without my husband,
1:20:26believe me, that's not a compliment to
1:20:28him.
1:20:30I do a lot of work with death and dying,
1:20:33which is about life and living.
1:20:37I welcome in many ways
1:20:40for you, hopefully,
1:20:43to get together with each other, to
1:20:45organize that you can really not just
1:20:49have here one night and just disappear.
1:20:53Get in touch with the Wing Man. Try the
1:20:56Wing Mans so you can really be the best
1:20:59role models to the state of Texas and
1:21:03the United States of America that I
1:21:06love. There is a wonderful young man
1:21:08here, too, and you know, my
1:21:15I had two beautiful daughters and then
1:21:18my son was born.
1:21:20And my son didn't develop the way
1:21:25my girls did.
1:21:26And five doctors told me
1:21:29that I have to prepare to send my child
1:21:33to a school for children. We
1:21:36called it We don't do do that
1:21:39anymore. We say intellectually
1:21:41challenged.
1:21:43So they sent me up to Johns Hopkins.
1:21:45There was a beautiful again, a Christian
1:21:48man who took my son, 4 years old, after
1:21:51a week, he sat me down and he said,
1:21:54"This little boy
1:21:56is not and he's going to be
1:21:58what you make of him.
1:22:00What are you doing now, Mom?" And I
1:22:02said, "I'm at the university." He said,
1:22:04"Well, I tell you,
1:22:06he may have
1:22:08encephalitis before birth then and if
1:22:11you do what I tell you to do, he's going
1:22:14to do everything everyone else does.
1:22:17It's going to take him longer to get
1:22:18there.
1:22:19See, God sent me a special child that I
1:22:23used that that power that I had in me
1:22:27from Auschwitz. I took my son to the
1:22:31CP clinic,
1:22:34occupational therapy, speech therapy.
1:22:38My son is blind. He goes to Washington
1:22:41and he fights from the for the disabled
1:22:44and my son, John, graduated as a top 10
1:22:47student from the University of Texas in
1:22:51El Paso. So that's what I bring you
1:22:53tonight. That kind of defiance, that
1:22:56kind of a power.
1:22:57Thank you. I don't want anyone to feel
1:23:00sorry for me. I don't have time. I was
1:23:03victimized, but I'm not a victim.
1:23:06You want to tell your son?
1:23:10We uh
1:23:11on behalf of everybody here, Thank you.
1:23:14Thank you.
1:23:15being the day before Valentine's Day,
1:23:16you have really touched our hearts.
1:23:18you so much. I also want to say that
1:23:22this is a wonderful present that was
1:23:25given to me and and there is a lady,
1:23:28someone's mom.
1:23:30Come on, son. Where are you?
1:23:33And and
1:23:35Yes.
1:23:36And
1:23:38And and your mom
1:23:41Stand up, Mr. Olson.
1:23:43Okay.
1:23:44The mom is starting a new business and
1:23:47there is the name of that business and I
1:23:51don't know what's where is the name?
1:23:53Here it is.
1:23:55Cobalt.
1:23:57Go buy Cobalt.
1:24:00This is what I got as a present.
1:24:03Okay. Very good.
1:24:07Here's a dozen roses. Thank you very
1:24:08much.
1:24:10blooming. Keep blooming. Another round
1:24:13of applause, please.
1:24:38Well, I know and I hope that your hearts
1:24:40were touched as they
1:24:41as as mine was. So
1:24:44go home, be blessed. You are blessed.
1:24:47And remember, if the Lord leads you to
1:24:49to give tonight, please give to CCA,
1:24:51Christian Community Action. The folks
1:24:52will be outside the doors. Take care.
1:24:54God bless. Have a great evening.

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