Ed's Heinz Ad — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:01I’ve got an idea for a Heinz Ketchup Commercial.
2. 0:03I was at this super posh restaurant.
3. 0:05Super posh.
4. 0:06The type of place that has chandeliers, and paintings on the wall,
5. 0:10and way too many forks.
6. 0:12I think classical music was playing…
7. 0:14maybe it was jazz…
8. 0:16no, definitely classical.
9. 0:18The hostess walks up to me, she says
10. 0:20“Mr. Sheeran, is this your first time dining with us?”
11. 0:22and I say
12. 0:23“yep”.
13. 0:25The waiter comes over, he’s telling me about the specials:
14. 0:28“Super fancy, fancy vegetables, fancy sauces.”
15. 0:31I said,
16. 0:32“Sounds fancy”.
17. 0:33So, fast forward and the food comes.
18. 0:35The waiter goes on to tell me
19. 0:36“We are proud to present this farm to table blah blah blah,
20. 0:39posh and fancy blah blah blah, with a side of blah blah blah.”
21. 0:44You know the food looked good,
22. 0:45I just thought there was something missing.
23. 0:47So, I reach into my bag
24. 0:49and I take out the only thing that can complete me.
25. 0:52And at that point, the whole world came to a stop.
26. 1:02And the waiter was screaming,
27. 1:04through his eyes, “Nooooooo”.
28. 1:13So that’s my idea,
29. 1:15do you want to do it?