DYAD 3 — Transcript

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1. 0:04Hi Jess.
2. 0:06How's your week been?
3. 0:07>> It's been good. Just getting in the
4. 0:10swing of things.
5. 0:12Um
6. 0:13the hurricane over the weekend sucked.
7. 0:16We lost power.
8. 0:18But
9. 0:20it is what it is.
10. 0:23>> Yeah, the the hurricane has been
11. 0:26quite
12. 0:27the upheaval for a lot of folks.
13. 0:31So did you get power back?
14. 0:33>> Yeah, we did. And we even got a day off
15. 0:36of school, so that was nice.
16. 0:38>> Okay.
17. 0:42>> But we were second side all day.
18. 0:44So that wasn't very fun. We don't have
19. 0:46hurricanes like this in Alabama.
20. 0:51>> Yeah, I can imagine. This one was kind
21. 0:53of tough.
22. 0:55But um
23. 0:58you said you were staying home for a day
24. 1:00and that was kind of nice.
25. 1:02>> Yeah, it was just nice to not be in
26. 1:03school.
27. 1:05>> Okay.
28. 1:08>> Yeah.
29. 1:14>> [clears throat]
30. 1:16>> Yeah.
31. 1:19>> So how is the
32. 1:23I know we were talking last about
33. 1:26your feelings of anxiety
34. 1:28um coming into the school as a new
35. 1:31student. Um
36. 1:33how are we
37. 1:35in in that regard?
38. 1:38>> Um
39. 1:40it's
40. 1:43Yeah, it's okay.
41. 1:45I think I'm getting more used to it.
42. 1:49Just because it's
43. 1:51and another week, so I'm getting
44. 1:54getting used to the school
45. 1:56and just
46. 1:58meeting more people.
47. 2:01I still kind of feel like an outsider,
48. 2:03but
49. 2:04I don't know, maybe if I meet meet more
50. 2:06people, then that'll change.
51. 2:10I still miss home, though.
52. 2:14>> Of course. Of course.
53. 2:27I think that's totally understandable. I
54. 2:29mean,
55. 2:31briefly we kind of touched on how huge
56. 2:34this is
57. 2:35last session because
58. 2:38like not only did you move,
59. 2:41your
60. 2:43your home makeup effectively just
61. 2:46completely changed as well.
62. 2:48>> Yeah.
63. 2:49>> Like your
64. 2:52>> Yeah.
65. 2:53It's still
66. 2:54it's still weird.
67. 2:56>> [clears throat]
68. 2:57>> But I think I've
69. 2:59I think I've made the choice to
70. 3:02actually try out for a team cuz I was
71. 3:04talking to some of my friends back home.
72. 3:08And they were saying
73. 3:09that I should do it and
74. 3:12it's not
75. 3:14like we're not even going to play each
76. 3:16other, so it wouldn't be like
77. 3:18I'm playing against my old friends.
78. 3:22But
79. 3:24still something to do. And I really I
80. 3:26really like sports, so
81. 3:28yeah, I think I'm going to go for it.
82. 3:32>> I'm glad. I'm glad. I see you're
83. 3:34smiling.
84. 3:35>> [laughter]
85. 3:35>> Yeah. Yeah. I Yeah, I think um
86. 3:39I think I'm going to go for it, but
87. 3:41we'll see how it goes. I don't know, I'm
88. 3:42still nervous.
89. 3:46>> That makes sense. But I'm sure it felt
90. 3:49great to speak with your old friends and
91. 3:52to feel that experience from them.
92. 3:55>> Yeah, they were really they were really
93. 3:57nice and I was able to talk to talk to
94. 4:00mom as well.
95. 4:02>> Okay.
96. 4:02>> Me and mom talked for a while.
97. 4:06I miss her a lot.
98. 4:15Yeah.
99. 4:16So wish I was home.
100. 4:20Maybe things could be kind of cool here.
101. 4:25Maybe I can go visit home soon.
102. 4:32I don't know, we'll see.
103. 4:37>> I
104. 4:39I just want to point out
105. 4:41what you just said. You said maybe
106. 4:42things could be kind of cool here.
107. 4:45>> Yeah.
108. 4:46>> I think that's
109. 4:48I think that's pretty huge because
110. 4:51think about where we were a couple
111. 4:52sessions ago and now you're smiling and
112. 4:55you got to talk with mom and you're
113. 4:57feeling a little bit more
114. 5:00empowered maybe to go
115. 5:03play with the the new team here. You're
116. 5:06feeling a little bit more grounded after
117. 5:07speaking with them.
118. 5:12>> Yeah.
119. 5:14Yeah, maybe just a little bit.
120. 5:17The tryouts haven't happened.
121. 5:20So we still have to get through that.
122. 5:23I'm still going through school.
123. 5:25I have
124. 5:27homework to do and
125. 5:31Well, we'll see how it all works. It's
126. 5:34we'll see.
127. 5:37But I just wanted to let you know that
128. 5:40I'm going to try.
129. 5:45>> I'm really happy to hear that.
130. 5:47>> Thanks.
131. 5:49>> I'm really happy to see you smile, too.
132. 5:51>> [laughter]
133. 5:53>> Thanks.
134. 5:53You've been a lot of help, so.
135. 6:02>> And I know, um, previous session we were
136. 6:05talking about
137. 6:07your original feelings of
138. 6:13What was the What was the words that we
139. 6:14used?
140. 6:21Because you were feeling some type of
141. 6:22way when
142. 6:25you were you felt like your mom sent you
143. 6:27away, and now you got to speak with her
144. 6:29over the phone.
145. 6:30>> Yeah.
146. 6:34Yeah.
147. 6:35Um
148. 6:39I don't know. It's still
149. 6:43It was It was nice to talk to her, and
150. 6:46yeah, I asked her if I could come back
151. 6:48home, and
152. 6:49she said no, that I should still be over
153. 6:52here, so
154. 6:54that kind of
155. 6:56sucked,
156. 6:57but
157. 7:00I don't know. I remember you telling me
158. 7:01that I should try to
159. 7:04try to make the best of my situation.
160. 7:09Make new friends.
161. 7:13So, I'm
162. 7:14I'm trying, but
163. 7:18yeah.
164. 7:19I didn't talk to my stepdad, though.
165. 7:26I don't want to talk to him.
166. 7:31>> I think that's understandable, too.
167. 7:34>> But Mom was cool.
168. 7:35>> I still
169. 7:37Okay. Good.
170. 7:39I I just
171. 7:42While you're in the middle of this
172. 7:43transition and
173. 7:46you're feeling like you're ready to
174. 7:48maybe try to try out for a team and meet
175. 7:50new folks, I still want to acknowledge
176. 7:53that
177. 7:55it sucks
178. 7:56to use your words, that it sucks
179. 7:59when it
180. 8:01when we feel like mom and stepdad kind
181. 8:04of sent sent us away and
182. 8:06maybe we're feeling a little bit of
183. 8:09rejection.
184. 8:12>> Yeah.
185. 8:13Yeah, that's a good word for it.
186. 8:17Cuz
187. 8:18it almost feels like sometimes she chose
188. 8:21him over me.
189. 8:24>> Mhm.
190. 8:25>> Um
191. 8:27and my sister, you know, and just sent
192. 8:29us over here.
193. 8:33Now
194. 8:37she's like living her best life with
195. 8:40my stepdad.
196. 8:48We're stuck over here.
197. 8:55I don't know. Maybe I was just
198. 9:11>> That's it's really hurtful, it sounds
199. 9:14like.
200. 9:15To have mom
201. 9:17choose someone over her daughters.
202. 9:22>> Yeah.
203. 9:24Makes me angry,
204. 9:25almost.
205. 9:27Cuz she's
206. 9:29my mom.
207. 9:31And now she's choosing somebody else and
208. 9:35sent us over here.
209. 9:37And I know I said I'm going to try and
210. 9:39that it could be really cool, but it was
211. 9:41also really cool to be back home.
212. 9:46Better to be back home.
213. 9:51Know everything there. I know my
214. 9:53friends. I know my people.
215. 9:55My house.
216. 9:57I'm comfortable.
217. 10:05>> Yeah.
218. 10:07And
219. 10:08I just want to say that there's space to
220. 10:09hold both of those
221. 10:11major feelings.
222. 10:13To feel the grief of losing
223. 10:17your home life as it was and feeling
224. 10:20anchored there.
225. 10:22And then also trying to hold the
226. 10:24feelings of
227. 10:25maybe optimism, trying to figure out how
228. 10:28to make the best over here.
229. 10:30It's okay to hold both of those.
230. 10:34>> Sometimes it feels like a lot, really
231. 10:37overwhelming, and I just want to
232. 10:40do nothing.
233. 10:52It feels weird to be angry
234. 10:54and excited at the same time.
235. 10:58I don't really know how to deal with it.
236. 11:15Maybe just time.
237. 11:21Or
238. 11:23go home.
239. 11:25Then everything will be better.
240. 11:31>> I know Mom said at this point that's not
241. 11:33an option though. So.
242. 11:35>> Yeah.
243. 11:37>> I am I am glad though.
244. 11:39That you are holding both of these
245. 11:41really really really big emotions or
246. 11:45group of emotions. And it is very hard
247. 11:47to work through both of them and to hold
248. 11:49both of them.
249. 11:54>> Doesn't feel good.
250. 11:58>> It's definitely uncomfortable.
251. 12:00It's actually um
252. 12:02what a lot of
253. 12:04folks call cognitive dissonance to hold
254. 12:08two
255. 12:09such opposing feelings.
256. 12:12And the mere act of holding both of them
257. 12:15is its own stress.
258. 12:20>> I didn't know that it was a normal
259. 12:21thing.
260. 12:23I thought
261. 12:24I don't know. I thought I was just
262. 12:30I don't even know the word.
263. 12:33Just confusing myself.
264. 12:35I felt weird.
265. 12:37Not normal.
266. 12:44>> Well, Jess.
267. 12:46That's I have to I I feel like I got to
268. 12:48say that's not true.
269. 12:50You're not [snorts]
270. 12:52abnormal.
271. 12:55It makes so much sense
272. 12:57that you're going through all of this
273. 12:58emotionally and it's hard to hold them
274. 13:00all.
275. 13:01But I know we're coming at time. Sorry,
276. 13:04I think I lost track of time.
277. 13:06Um
278. 13:08but I'm really glad that you got to talk
279. 13:10with your mom.
280. 13:12And
281. 13:14that we're learning a little bit more
282. 13:15about our feelings.
283. 13:17>> Yeah.
284. 13:19It's nice to have a name for it
285. 13:21what I'm going through. So, thank you.
286. 13:26>> All right, Jess.
287. 13:29Is there anything else you want to get
288. 13:30off your chest before our next session?
289. 13:34>> Uh I don't think so.
290. 13:36>> Okay.
291. 13:37>> Tryouts are this week, so I'll let you
292. 13:39know how it goes.
293. 13:40>> All right. Sounds great, Jess.
294. 13:44>> Thank you.
295. 13:45>> Thank you. See you then.