Donna Quesada. Buddhism: Emptiness. (Suffering. 4 Noble Truths) 5/5 — Transcript

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1. 0:00Well, let me pose a question to you
2. 0:02then. Why does breaking through this
3. 0:05dualistic
4. 0:06concept of the self?
5. 0:10Reduce the suffering that goes along
6. 0:13with the idea of the self. What does it
7. 0:15all have to do with suffering? Those of
8. 0:17you who have read ahead a little bit or
9. 0:19are sort of seeing into this
10. 0:20intuitively, what do you think? It means
11. 0:22you can be detached from your sort of
12. 0:25overbearing emotions, I guess.
13. 0:28Okay. And and the word detached is
14. 0:31another misunderstood idea. Um but yes,
15. 0:34we can let go a little bit of that we
16. 0:40think we absolutely need
17. 0:43for our survival and for our security
18. 0:45and moreover for our happiness. Right.
19. 0:50Throw
20. 0:51what else? Throw more in on that. That's
21. 0:53a good a really good point. Go ahead. I
22. 0:55was listening to the radio the other day
23. 0:57and this guy was talking about how like
24. 0:59life is suffering or something and
25. 1:02that's Buddha's first of the four noble
26. 1:04truths and he was saying that like
27. 1:06knowing that you'll suffer throughout
28. 1:08your life frees you from the pain that
29. 1:10it will bring once it happens. Well, if
30. 1:13we want by saying life is suffering and
31. 1:15that by the way is where the four noble
32. 1:17truths start. So just I I don't want
33. 1:20anybody to be confused. We're talking
34. 1:21about these three marks of existence.
35. 1:33suffering
36. 1:35really takes us into the famous four
37. 1:37noble truths, Buddha's first set of
38. 1:40formal teachings.
39. 1:42The statement life is suffering is also
40. 1:45a misunderstood one. People think of it
41. 1:49as something very pessimistic. But he
42. 1:51wasn't talking
43. 1:53in a pessimistic voice at all. In fact,
44. 1:57he wanted the point. He wanted to point
45. 1:59the way to liberation. He wanted to help
46. 2:01us by showing us our
47. 2:05our wrongful attachments to things
48. 2:08because of our wrongful perception of
49. 2:09reality. He wanted to show us how we can
50. 2:13free ourselves from much unnecessary
51. 2:16suffering. It's like that expression you
52. 2:18might have heard. Pain is inevitable,
53. 2:20but the suffering is optional. Indeed,
54. 2:23we inflict a lot of that on ourselves.
55. 2:25And we had fun with that. You know, the
56. 2:26other day we were talking about how
57. 2:28silly we are. When we're kids, we just
58. 2:30want to be big kids. And when we're big
59. 2:32kids, it's still not good enough. We
60. 2:34just want to get to high school. And we
61. 2:36all know high school sucks. As soon as
62. 2:38we're in high school, we want to get out
63. 2:40of high school. But as soon as we're in
64. 2:42we transfer, we want to graduate. Then
65. 2:44we want a home. And then all we can
66. 2:45think about is vacation. And we're
67. 2:47always just kind of reaching. And in the
68. 2:49meantime,
69. 2:52we're trying to fill ourselves up
70. 2:55with a multitude of distractions
71. 3:02that we think will enrich our sense of
72. 3:05self. Whether it be
73. 3:08the newest computer gadget or the newest
74. 3:11shoes or the clothes or even if it's uh
75. 3:16a partner,
76. 3:18you know, who's got a good reputation
77. 3:21and that boosts your identity quite a
78. 3:24bit, you know, or an expensive car or
79. 3:27any of these things that we reach toward
80. 3:30or to use this word attachment, any of
81. 3:33these things that we attach to thinking
82. 3:35that we we will become better,
83. 3:39that we'll get to a point where
84. 3:40everything will just gel and be perfect,
85. 3:43but it never lasts.
86. 3:46And so we continue longing for more,
87. 3:51longing for more. longing for something
88. 3:54else, longing for the newer thing,
89. 3:56longing for the better computer, longing
90. 3:58for the newer car, longing for a better
91. 4:01TV, longing for this distraction,
92. 4:02longing trying to fill ourselves up with
93. 4:05one distraction after another. That's
94. 4:07really the kind of suffering um that
95. 4:11better captures that angst
96. 4:17that is optional. We don't have to
97. 4:19suffer with that angst. Of course, there
98. 4:22is lots of stuff that's inevitable.
99. 4:25We will lose people we love
100. 4:29and we talked about this the other day.
101. 4:33Life is full of misery. A lot of stuff
102. 4:36that we can't seem to fix.
103. 4:39Political atrocities, wars and
104. 4:41genocides,
105. 4:43personal tragedies. There is a lot of
106. 4:45stuff that's inevitable.
107. 4:49Yet, why is it that some people
108. 4:55manage to be joyful?
109. 4:58And it's not that we shouldn't care
110. 4:59about those things
111. 5:04because if we do care about those
112. 5:06things, we probably find some sort of
113. 5:08solution or some way to make ourselves
114. 5:10valuable, some way to donate, some some
115. 5:12way to help. And that makes us feel
116. 5:14useful. That in fact makes us happier.
117. 5:17We don't feel so much despair when we're
118. 5:19active. We can actually do something
119. 5:21about the causes that are important to
120. 5:23us.
121. 5:25And ironically, the people that are
122. 5:27active tend to be the happiest. Why is
123. 5:29it that some people manage to be happy
124. 5:32even in the face of tragedy?
125. 5:37People who have lost everything and yet
126. 5:39manage to turn it around and go on and
127. 5:41inspire others. Right?
128. 5:44This is the kind of suffering Buddha
129. 5:46wanted us to look at. The angst that we
130. 5:48bring upon ourselves that chronic
131. 5:51low-grade anxiety of reaching, wanting,
132. 5:54thinking mistakenly that at some point
133. 5:57we'll have rainbows and everything will
134. 5:59just gel, right? Everything will be
135. 6:01perfect. Everything will be idealic.
136. 6:05But we spend our whole lives that way,
137. 6:08you know, and then we get old and we
138. 6:10say, "Oh gee, where did the time go? I
139. 6:12wish I was young again.
140. 6:17That is really the kind of suffering
141. 6:20that he wanted us to look at. And my
142. 6:23question for you all is
143. 6:26how is this angst, this suffering
144. 6:30and again
145. 6:34it was his mission to point the way out.
146. 6:36But how does this angst, this chronic
147. 6:40spinning that we get into
148. 6:44alleviated
149. 6:45by looking deeply in the way that
150. 6:48Tiknhan nudged us to do by seeing
151. 6:51reality and seeing ourselves
152. 6:54as impermanent.
153. 6:57That's a really good point because whe
154. 7:00when we're
155. 7:02steeped in this dualistic frame of mind,
156. 7:04me versus other,
157. 7:07I tend to become very emotional. Correct
158. 7:10me if I'm not paraphrasing you right
159. 7:12about things that I think were done to
160. 7:15me. Why did you do that to me? And I
161. 7:17take things personally. You took that.
162. 7:20Why did you say that? You looked at me
163. 7:21like why did you look at me like that?
164. 7:22Right. Is that the kind of stuff we get
165. 7:25very defensive? Could I could I
166. 7:27elaborate and say defensive? Emotional
167. 7:29was the word.
168. 7:32But when we break through that dualistic
169. 7:36paradigm,
170. 7:38a lot of that just goes away. We see it
171. 7:41as sort of silly. We realize it wasn't
172. 7:44personal.
173. 7:48You know,
174. 7:49I've written about the example of
175. 7:51traffic before and I think it's
176. 7:53something we can all relate to. you
177. 7:55know, someone cuts you off or someone
178. 7:57refuses to let you merge and you've got
179. 7:59to get on the 405, you know, and this
180. 8:01turkey just pulls up ahead of him even
181. 8:03further and he doesn't let you in,
182. 8:04right?
183. 8:07And we're
184. 8:08show him and we speed up and we yell
185. 8:11certain things and we make certain
186. 8:13motions and we get all excited and we're
187. 8:16angry and we're fuming.
188. 8:19But, you know,
189. 8:21first of all, clearly that's suffering,
190. 8:23right? Right. And it's the kind of
191. 8:27specializes suffering Buddha called
192. 8:29anger that fills us all up in the modern
193. 8:32world as if we're so different than the
194. 8:34ancients. But you know, it's a it's a
195. 8:36kind of suffering that poisons us on the
196. 8:39inside and we go home and we take it out
197. 8:41on everyone else and we make everyone
198. 8:42else suffer too, right? But let's bring
199. 8:46it to point. When I break through that
200. 8:49me versus other framework,
201. 8:53I stop taking it so personally.
202. 8:55Compassion wells up in place of that
203. 8:58anger. I start to see through it. I am
204. 9:01in in fact, in Ticknot Han's words,
205. 9:03looking deeply.
206. 9:05I probably feel sorry for that guy.
207. 9:09And not in a patronizing way either. I
208. 9:12pro I'm probably able to say to myself,
209. 9:14you know, that poor guy probably has a
210. 9:17jerk for a boss. He's probably late to
211. 9:19work, you know, and he's totally
212. 9:21stressed out and he lives like this and
213. 9:23he's probably got high blood pressure
214. 9:24and who knows what else in my
215. 9:26imagination. But it helps me understand.
216. 9:29It helps me understand that he couldn't
217. 9:31recognize my face for, you know, for to
218. 9:34save his life. I'm nothing to him. It
219. 9:38wasn't about me. It was just a car.
220. 9:42He was protecting what's his. He was
221. 9:44defensive.
222. 9:46Could have been me. Could have been
223. 9:47anybody. It wasn't about me. And that
224. 9:50understanding is like magic. It's like
225. 9:53um clicking refresh on your computer.
226. 9:56Oh, I feel differently. You know, go go.
227. 9:59I hope you get there, buddy. You know,
228. 10:02and uh you're chilling out and you make
229. 10:06it, you don't make it, but it's okay.
230. 10:08you know, kind of breaks through the
231. 10:10defensiveness that comes from
232. 10:12separateness that leads to anger that is
233. 10:14one of those poisons because it spreads
234. 10:16like weeds everywhere and touches
235. 10:18everything in your life and just kind of
236. 10:21spoils the whole affair. That's why
237. 10:23Buddha looked upon anger as one of three
238. 10:25poisons. It just kind of poes throwing
239. 10:28toxic acid on everything.
240. 10:33But deeply looking diffuses that. I'm
241. 10:36less protective about my space me. And
242. 10:39you just insulted me and do you know who
243. 10:42you're talking to? It's that do you know
244. 10:44who I am thing. You know, you just
245. 10:47you're able to all that just kind of
246. 10:49melts away and you realize we're all
247. 10:52doing the same thing. We're all caught
248. 10:54up, you know, in this way of life and
249. 10:56we're all rushing and we're a little
250. 10:58more forgiving. That's a great great
251. 11:02insight
252. 11:04and a good way of putting it. You know,
253. 11:06not taking things personally.
254. 11:10So, what we're doing is we're making a
255. 11:12connection between the essence of the
256. 11:14four noble truths, which is the
257. 11:16observation that we are full of angst
258. 11:19and just this kind of discontent. I want
259. 11:22something else and I just I just want to
260. 11:25graduate. I just want to if only I had
261. 11:27if only you know this would make it all
262. 11:29better that just that angst
263. 11:36duka
264. 11:37that Buddha referred to as suffering
265. 11:40that is alleviated when we begin to
266. 11:43realize that it's caused by my clinging
267. 11:46my refusal to let go not only of the
268. 11:49stuff that I mistakenly think of as mine
269. 11:53but of the notion of the self. Because
270. 11:55when I let go of that that comes from
271. 11:57wrongful perception anyway, I let go of
272. 12:00all of the fear and defensiveness that
273. 12:03go along with it.
274. 12:05We fear death. We fear injury.
275. 12:09We fear doom. But we just saw that
276. 12:13there's no such thing as death.
277. 12:15What is there to fear?
278. 12:19Those are just names. Like the
279. 12:21lightning, we slap on something that's
280. 12:24more like a verb than a noun. Death. We
281. 12:26slap a name on this event that's not one
282. 12:29event after all. Birth and death. Birth
283. 12:31and death. Birth and death. Every moment
284. 12:33of your life.
285. 12:36You're gaining new blood cells and
286. 12:37losing millions. Every moment
287. 12:42you're gaining new ideas and shedding
288. 12:44old beliefs, making new friends. How
289. 12:46much are you gaining and losing at any
290. 12:48moment?
291. 12:51Right? Hair, skin cells, friends,
292. 12:53weight,
293. 12:56birth and death, birth and death.
294. 12:58Everything that happens to you changes
295. 13:00you. You just don't see it anymore than
296. 13:03you see the wrinkles forming on your
297. 13:05face, right? Every single day. Birth and
298. 13:08death. Birth and death.
299. 13:11And so when you start to let go,
300. 13:16all of the fear, all of the greed, all
301. 13:18of the anger that surrounded that notion
302. 13:20of a self starts to disappear. That's
303. 13:24really the four noble truths. Although
304. 13:26we haven't gotten there yet and put them
305. 13:27all on the board, the four noble truths.
306. 13:30life is suffering but the way out is the
307. 13:32realization
308. 13:37that we've encountered today
309. 13:40that I don't need to cling to what I
310. 13:42thought I needed to cling to to what I
311. 13:44thought would give me security
312. 13:48and once I start to soften my grip on
313. 13:50that notion of a separate self
314. 13:54and everything else besides
315. 13:57I'm able to live
316. 14:00softer,
317. 14:01easier, less resistance, less
318. 14:05opposition, less antagonism. Yeah,
319. 14:08that's the connection between suffering
320. 14:11and emptiness.
321. 14:14Emptiness is just deeply looking. It's
322. 14:16just seeing through.
323. 14:21And so on isn't no self. It's just
324. 14:26no self in the way you fought.
325. 14:30Emptiness isn't really empty of a self.
326. 14:34It's just empty of ideas. You are, you
327. 14:37aren't. It's like the rainbow. It is,
328. 14:39but it also isn't. Go touch the rainbow.
329. 14:41You can't. It's there. It's there in
330. 14:44some sense,
331. 14:46but it's not there apart from its
332. 14:48causes, the sun, the moisture in all the
333. 14:51right angles. Right? It is. It isn't.
334. 14:55You look closer, disappears altogether.