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Doing This Every 90 Days Completely Changed My Life — Transcript

by Mike Schmitz · 7,002 words · 984 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00I've been doing personal retreats since
0:012017 when I realized that I needed a bit
0:03more clarity if I was really going to
0:05accomplish my goals. And since then,
0:07I've been doing a personal retreat every
0:08single quarter. And it's this quarterly
0:11practice that enables me to fully
0:13connect to my goals and eliminate the
0:15things that don't hit the mark so I can
0:17take consistent action on the things
0:19that do. Personal retreat gives me the
0:21clarity that I need to show up every
0:23day. And I believe that the clarity a
0:24personal retreat provides can totally
0:26transform your life. So, in this video,
0:29I want to help you get maximum clarity
0:31to consistently take action on the
0:32things that are important to you by
0:34walking you through my entire personal
0:36retreat process step by step. It's a
0:38lot. This video is going to be longer,
0:40but I'm going to keep it tight. So, here
0:41we go. Okay. Now, first, I need to share
0:43a little bit about what the personal
0:44retreat can actually do for you. You
0:46see, back when he was CEO of Microsoft,
0:48Bill Gates used to do what he called
0:49think weeks. He'd go to a cabin in the
0:51woods for a week or two, and he'd
0:52disconnect from technology so he could
0:54just reflect and wrestle with new ideas.
0:57And that secluded location allowed him
0:59to get away from the busyiness of the
1:00day-to-day and just think about the
1:02future of the business. This is where
1:04some of his best ideas and his most
1:06important innovations came from is these
1:08think weeks. It was actually on one of
1:10these think weeks that he penned an
1:12email titled the internet title wave
1:13which sparked the initiative behind the
1:15development of Microsoft's Internet
1:17Explorer. Obviously the internet has
1:19become a really big deal. Now I've
1:21adapted the think concept for myself and
1:23I've created a framework I call a
1:24personal retreat. Every 90 days, I get a
1:27way to reflect on the last quarter and
1:29then plan the next one. And the personal
1:31retreat is the thing that gives me the
1:33space that I need to think clearly about
1:34the big picture stuff like the direction
1:37that my life and our family is headed.
1:40It's kind of like a quarterly corporate
1:42off-site planning event, but there's not
1:44a whole bunch of people there. It's just
1:46me and it's out in the woods somewhere.
1:47So, I do this every single quarter and
1:49every single time I come back with
1:51clarity on what's truly important and
1:53that creates this heightened sense of
1:54motivation so I can show up every day
1:56and take consistent action on the things
1:58that really matter. Before we get into
2:00the specifics of the personal retreat
2:01though, I do need to share a little bit
2:02of the thought process behind it and the
2:05problem that it's really solving for me.
2:07You need to understand this before it
2:09can really work. So, I actually first
2:11got this idea when I read the 12week
2:13year, which is a book by Brian Moran and
2:15Michael Lennington. The book is
2:17basically a planning framework that
2:19forces you to think in shorter cycles
2:20about the goals that you're setting so
2:22you can focus more clearly on the things
2:24that you want to do and achieve them
2:26faster. So the book talks in detail
2:28about why most annual goals fail. And
2:31TLDDR it's because we humans have a
2:34tendency to overestimate what we can get
2:35done in the short term and underestimate
2:37what we can get done in the long term.
2:39So when we set annual goals, what we do
2:42is we end up putting those things off
2:43for 10 or 11 months. Then we try to cram
2:45them through at the very end and we fall
2:48just short. So if we shorten that goal
2:50setting period to 12 weeks and we repeat
2:51that process four times, we can actually
2:54make significantly more progress on the
2:57things that are important to us. So the
2:5812week year system itself is actually
3:00pretty simple. First, you write a
3:02compelling vision of your ideal future
3:03and what you're working towards. Second,
3:05you plan what strategies and actions
3:07will move you closer to that future. And
3:09then third, you create habits to make
3:11taking regular action as easy as
3:13possible. Now, the fourth one is kind of
3:15optional. You can measure your execution
3:17to make sure that you keep yourself on
3:20track. I don't go too deep with this. I
3:22basically just try to track my habits.
3:24So, I'm doing the thing every single
3:25day. Now, I don't follow that system
3:27exactly, but I do like the forcing
3:28function of focusing on what's important
3:30for just a short period of time. I
3:32really believe that life is not a
3:34marathon. It's a series of sprints. And
3:3612 weeks is short enough to stay
3:37focused, but it's long enough to see
3:39significant progress being made on the
3:42things that are important to you. So,
3:43when I first came across this idea, the
3:4512-week year, I was really excited to
3:47try it out. I shared the idea with some
3:48of the people in a local mastermind
3:50group that I was a part of, and we all
3:52decided we're going to give this a shot
3:53together. So, we set our goals, we
3:55shared them publicly, and we started
3:57tracking our results. But after a couple
3:59of quarters, I was starting to get
4:02discouraged because I wasn't seeing the
4:04results that I was really hoping for.
4:06Not only was I not achieving my goals,
4:08but I really wasn't even close. The
4:10promise of the 12week year at that point
4:12really felt like a lie and I felt like
4:13just chucking the whole thing. But
4:14around the same time, I was also
4:15introduced to the concept of thinking
4:17time by author Keith Cunningham. He
4:19teaches that whenever we set a goal,
4:21there is always an obstacle between us
4:23and the successful completion of that
4:26goal. The problem is often we're in such
4:28a hurry we don't recognize the real
4:30problems that we're coming up against.
4:32But by creating the space to think and
4:35asking the right questions, we can
4:36identify the real problems and the
4:38answers usually become clear. So the job
4:41of thinking time is to uncover the real
4:43problems preventing us from creating
4:45positive changes that we want to see in
4:47our lives. And once we identify the
4:49obstacles standing between us and our
4:51goals, then we can overcome them. So the
4:55way to identify the real problems we
4:56need to solve is this concept of
4:58thinking time which is introduced by
4:59Keith Cunningham in his book the road
5:01less stupid. So in the book he shares
5:03this quote which sums up the concept of
5:05thinking time very well. I don't need to
5:07do more smart things. I just need to do
5:10fewer dumb things. I need to avoid
5:12making emotional decisions and swinging
5:14at bad pitches. I need to think. I
5:17didn't just give up on the 12week year.
5:18Instead, I decided to implement my own
5:20version of thinking time in the hopes of
5:21understanding why the goals I was
5:23setting were not clicking for me. What
5:26were the obstacles that I was
5:27encountering that were preventing me
5:29from reaching those goals? So, I
5:31scheduled my first personal retreat to
5:33give myself some thinking time to
5:34unravel these problems and overcome the
5:36obstacles that were causing the 12-week
5:38year framework to fail so miserably for
5:40me. Now, I have five kids at home, so I
5:43knew I was not going to get any
5:44uninterrupted time to think sitting
5:46around my house. So, I went away for an
5:48entire day to the family cabin just to
5:50think about who I was, what I was doing,
5:53where I wanted to be, those types of
5:55things. And I was amazed to discover
5:57that just a little bit of solitude
5:59provided exactly what I needed. Time and
6:02space for my brain to unravel things.
6:03And I was shocked at the clarity that I
6:05got as a result. Where I had previously
6:08had trouble picking things to say no to,
6:10I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I
6:11tend to say yes to just about
6:12everything. It became crystal clear to
6:14me what I needed to let go and what
6:16things were really important to me going
6:18forward that were in alignment with my
6:20ideal future. So I came back from that
6:22personal retreat focused, motivated,
6:24ready to get after it. And it worked
6:26because that quarter, my personal
6:27retreat, I had missed all three of my
6:2912-week year goals previously, but when
6:31I came back, I hit all of them. And I've
6:33continued to have success with this for
6:35roughly the eight years that I've been
6:36doing these. Now that I've seen the
6:38power of the personal retreat, I can't
6:39imagine not doing one. Now, I've refined
6:42the tools and the exercises that I use
6:44along the way, but the key idea is the
6:45same. You set aside the time to let your
6:47brain noodle on the tough questions and
6:49find the answers that you're looking
6:50for, creating the clarity to work on the
6:52right things and the motivation to
6:54follow through consistently on what
6:56really matters. All right, I know that's
6:58a bit of a lengthy explanation, but I
7:00really wanted to talk about the why of
7:01the personal retreat because it's all
7:02about connecting to your why. So,
7:05hopefully now you understand a little
7:06bit about the purpose. Now, let's get
7:08into how to actually do a personal
7:10retreat for yourself. Starting with
7:11planning your personal retreat. So, when
7:13planning your personal retreat, I
7:15recommend that you set aside an entire
7:17day. If you can get away to a place that
7:18you don't normally go, that's even
7:20better. It doesn't need to be a cabin in
7:22the woods. It could be your local
7:23library. But your environment does play
7:25a very big part in your ability to think
7:27and reflect. So, going somewhere
7:29unfamiliar allows your brain to enter
7:31this mode naturally. Now, lately, I've
7:33been going to postcard cabins, which are
7:35these tiny houses that are parked on
7:37these remote campsites in the woods.
7:39They're fully furnished. They have heat
7:40and AC, a private bathroom with a
7:42shower, great nature views. It's a great
7:45setting for thinking and reflecting, and
7:46the perfect place for a personal
7:48retreat. Now, typically, I get to the
7:50site around 400 p.m. and I do the first
7:51part of the personal retreat when I get
7:53there. I usually go to bed pretty early,
7:55and then I wake up rested so I can do
7:56the second part the following morning.
7:58If these cabins look familiar, they used
8:00to be under the name Getaway House. And
8:01I actually did a YouTube video on these
8:03a while back. So click here if you want
8:05a more in-depth look at what these
8:07cabins are all about. But if you don't
8:09have one of these near you, don't worry.
8:10I would just look for a cabin on Airbnb
8:12that looks comfortable, but it's fairly
8:14secluded so you can spend some time in
8:15nature. Like I said, you could also go
8:17to the local library or a state park.
8:19The ideal location is going to differ
8:20for each individual. But the point is,
8:22you need to make sure that the location
8:24you choose is conducive to focus
8:26contemplation. You need to unplug from
8:29your everyday routine and you need to
8:30just be alone with your thoughts. So,
8:33some people may prefer to stay inside
8:34while others may like to get out into
8:36nature. Some might like to stare at a
8:38crackling fire like me while they think
8:39about their future. Others may prefer
8:41the water. Just make sure that you do it
8:44alone. It's also important that when you
8:46go on your personal retreat, you
8:47eliminate as many distractions as you
8:50can. I recommend that you do not bring
8:52any work projects or reading material.
8:54So, I'm different than Bill Gates and
8:56his think weeks in this respect. You
8:58don't want to be distracted by everyday
9:00problems. So, as you think about the
9:02ideal place to host your personal
9:03retreat, remember it doesn't have to be
9:04a 2-hour drive from your home. It just
9:06can't be your home. It has to be
9:08someplace that you don't go to often. If
9:11you're too familiar with your
9:12surroundings, you will be easily
9:13distracted. So, you don't have to go
9:15far. You just need to get away and think
9:17for an extended period of time. And I
9:19can't overstate the importance of
9:20solitude here enough. The location that
9:22you choose should give you time away
9:24from everyone and everything, allowing
9:26you to cut out all the noise and be
9:28alone with your thoughts. That's
9:30critical for the types of questions that
9:31you're going to be wrestling with on
9:32this personal retreat. Now, by the way,
9:34if you follow the full personal retreat
9:35process, it's going to take about 8
9:37hours, and you will be tired by the end.
9:39It's pretty exhausting wrestling with
9:40these big questions for that long. But
9:42you'll also have the motivation that you
9:44need to consistently take action on
9:46what's really important. And you'll have
9:48the clarity to cut the things that
9:49aren't those distractions. That will
9:52provide an exponential return on the
9:54time and the money that you invest in
9:55your personal retreat as you make
9:57consistent progress on your goals over
9:59the next 90 days. So, it is a little bit
10:02of an investment, but it's going to pay
10:04big dividends down the road. Okay, so
10:06let's dig into the personal retreat
10:07process. There are several steps to this
10:09and I'm going to break them down one by
10:11one. I'm going to share everything here.
10:13So, let's dive in. Let's start with the
10:15first step, which is to review your
10:17vision and values. There's a couple
10:19pieces to this, including a one-s
10:21sentence personal mission statement for
10:22me that I call my life theme. I actually
10:24lead a life theme cohort inside of my
10:26community to help people dial in their
10:28own life theme. But what this does is it
10:30gives you something that you can use as
10:31a filter when you're deciding what
10:33you're going to engage with and what
10:35you're going to say no to. So for
10:37example, my life theme is I help people
10:39multiply their time and talent so they
10:40can leave a bigger dent in the universe.
10:43Everything I do gets filtered through
10:44that life theme. And if I don't see a
10:46way that it connects, then it's an
10:49automatic no. So during this part of the
10:51personal retreat, which takes about 30
10:52minutes, I consider my life theme and
10:54see if I want to make any changes. And I
10:56obviously don't mess with this too
10:58often, but I do give myself permission
11:00to modify this if it's no longer
11:02resonating. And also during this step, I
11:04will also review both our family core
11:06values and my personal core values.
11:08These are things that are extremely
11:10important to my identity. And I adopted
11:12this from an exercise in Jim Collins
11:14Good to Great called the mission to
11:16Mars. So this exercise is often
11:19completed by leadership teams and
11:20organizations. You basically answer the
11:23following question as best you can. If
11:26you could send five people who embodied
11:28everything that was best about your
11:29company to an alien world, who would
11:31they be? and what would they embody? So,
11:34while the book and the exercise
11:36obviously have their roots in
11:37establishing a corporate culture for
11:38large teams and organizations, I believe
11:41the principle can be applied on a
11:43smaller scale to your family and even
11:45yourself as an individual. So, I review
11:48both of these alongside my life theme,
11:49which are all individual notes and
11:51linked to in my personal retreat
11:53template file so I can reference them
11:55easily. The next step in the personal
11:57retreat is to review your journal
11:58entries. I believe daily journaling is
12:01very important and it's a critical part
12:03of the personal retreat. So I actually
12:04journal every single day by capturing
12:07some specific things and then I review
12:08them when I do my personal retreat. So
12:10first I capture my responses to my daily
12:12questions. This is a form of journaling
12:14where you answer specific questions
12:16based on your intentions not on the
12:19outcomes. So I first heard about this
12:21when I read the book Triggers by
12:22Marshall Goldsmith. And in that book,
12:24Marshall talks about the daily questions
12:26that he uses to measure his engagement
12:28with the things that really matter in
12:29his life. The key is just to ask
12:31yourself, did I do my best to? And then
12:33fill in the blanks. So, for example,
12:35Marshall uses questions like, did I do
12:36my best to set clear goals today? And
12:38did I do my best to find meaning today?
12:40I've modified these to things like, did
12:42I do my best to love my wife? And did I
12:44do my best to learn something? The
12:46important difference here is that these
12:48prompts focus on the effort, not the
12:51result. So instead of using words to
12:54answer, he uses a 10point scale where 10
12:57is great and one is terrible. Now, if
13:00you want to get into the details of how
13:01I implement this and the shortcut that I
13:03use to capture my scores, check out this
13:06video here where I walk through setting
13:08everything up and I provide the link to
13:10the shortcut itself. But the end result
13:12is a dashboard like this where I can
13:14visualize these scores that I've logged
13:16over the last several months. This is
13:18what I review in my personal retreat. I
13:20also have a couple different headers in
13:21my daily note template file where I will
13:23capture journal entries, gratitude
13:24entries, and wins. I try to capture
13:27journal entries about everything that's
13:28important. And I capture wins to remind
13:30myself of the things that I've actually
13:31accomplished. But I try to capture a
13:33unique gratitude entry every single day
13:35as I believe that that helps me keep a
13:37positive focus. So I capture each of
13:39these under the appropriate header and I
13:41add an inline tag of journal/ entry,
13:44journal/gratitude, or journal/win. When
13:47it comes to the personal retreat, I now
13:49have three separate notes that each have
13:51a single query where it rolls up all the
13:53entries of that type in reverse
13:55chronological order. So, this puts the
13:57most recent journal entries at the top
13:59and it makes it easier to review all of
14:01these entries from the last quarter. So,
14:03at this point in the personal retreat,
14:04I'll review all three of these lists as
14:06well as my daily questions dashboard to
14:09just look for general themes or
14:10takeaways. I don't really log anything
14:12formal here. I'm just trying to
14:14refamiliarize myself with everything
14:16that's happened in the last 90 days. And
14:18reviewing all of this usually takes me
14:20about 60 minutes. The next step in the
14:22personal retreat is to review your ideal
14:24future. This is a detailed description
14:27of what a day in the life of future you
14:29looks like. And it's important for a
14:30couple of reasons. First, it gives you a
14:32north star as you move towards the type
14:34of life that you want to live. And
14:36second, it can provide encouragement as
14:38you discover ways to live out elements
14:40of that ideal future here and now. So
14:43Steven Cvy taught that things are
14:44created twice. First in your mind and
14:46then in reality. You need to be able to
14:49see your ideal future before you can
14:51actually achieve it. And that's what
14:52this step in the personal retreat
14:54journey is all about. So when thinking
14:56about your future, you want to pick a
14:58time period that's far enough out into
15:00the future that you have time to
15:01actually achieve it. So, I recommend you
15:04start by thinking about your life 5
15:05years from now. That's enough time to
15:08make some pretty significant changes,
15:10but not so far that it seems like you'll
15:12never get there. And it may be difficult
15:14at first, but try to think best case
15:17scenario. What would your life look like
15:18if you were wildly successful? Remember,
15:21you need to be able to see it before you
15:23can achieve it. Now, as you think about
15:25your future, picture what a typical day
15:27looks like and imagine all of the
15:29details associated with that. What kind
15:31of home do you live in? What kind of car
15:33do you drive? What are your
15:35relationships like? What kind of work do
15:37you do? And include as much detail as
15:40possible. You want to paint a mental
15:42picture of the kind of life that you
15:44want to live. The more specific you are
15:47about your ideal future, the stronger
15:49that image gets imprinted in your mind
15:51and the more you will believe it is
15:52possible to achieve, the more motivating
15:54it becomes. This will be very important
15:58in helping you to follow through and
15:59take consistent action to create that
16:01ideal future. So again, I have a note in
16:04my Obsidian vault that has a bulleted
16:06list of a bunch of specific details
16:08about what a day in the life of future
16:09me looks like. And on this list are
16:11things like the type of work that I do,
16:13who I work with, what my schedule is
16:15like, and how involved I am in my kids
16:18extracurricular activities like coaching
16:20soccer and basketball. The important
16:22thing here is to be ultra specific. The
16:26more detailed you can be as you describe
16:28your ideal future, the more motivating
16:30it becomes. And during the personal
16:32retreat process, I usually spend about
16:3430 minutes reviewing and updating this.
16:36Now, the next step in the personal
16:38retreat is one of my favorites, and that
16:39is the wheel of life. So, this is where
16:42you rate your current satisfaction with
16:44your life on a scale from 1 to 10. One
16:46being the lowest, 10 being the highest.
16:48And as you rate the different areas, you
16:50color in the slices of the pie like
16:51this, giving you a visual representation
16:54of where you are at personally at this
16:56exact moment in time. You can pick your
16:58own areas for this, but I use a slightly
17:00modified version of the areas that Ali
17:02Abdal defines in his book Feelgood
17:03Productivity. I use spirit, mind, body,
17:07friends, family, significant other,
17:10career or work, mission, and money. Now,
17:13as you complete the wheel of life, the
17:14key is to rate your current satisfaction
17:16within that area. It's not subjective.
17:19It's based completely on how you feel.
17:21So, here's an example of a wheel of life
17:23from one of my own personal retreats. I
17:25do this in Obsidian using the Obsidian
17:27Charts plugin, and then I modify the
17:28code for each area to reflect the score
17:30that I gave for each. Now, I've linked
17:32to the Obsidian Charts plugin below this
17:35video, and the personal retreat template
17:37file is actually in my Obsidian Starter
17:40Vault, so you can download those for
17:42yourself if you want to use the template
17:44and the plug-in. But the important thing
17:46is that you have a visualization here
17:48for how you feel about the different
17:49areas of your life. And then later on in
17:51the personal retreat process, we'll take
17:53the lowest area and we'll set goals or
17:55intentions to help us move the needle
17:57and bolster that specific area. This
18:00actually gets into a very important
18:01concept from the 12-week year, which we
18:03need to unpack here, and that is
18:04intentional imbalance. A lot of people
18:07chase this mythical idea of work life
18:09balance, but I don't really like that.
18:11Maybe this was feasible when it was
18:13impossible to connect to your work via
18:15the internet, and you had a very
18:16specific place that you went to work
18:18every single day. But since we're always
18:21connected, we have to fight a little bit
18:22harder nowadays to protect our focus and
18:24intention in the moment, no matter where
18:26we are. You can be at dinner with your
18:28friends and be distracted by an email
18:29from work or playing with your kids and
18:31be interrupted by a Slack message. The
18:33bottom line is that the distinction
18:35between work and life is largely
18:38artificial. There's just your life and
18:40it's up to you to manage all aspects of
18:42it well. And that in a nutshell is why
18:45you need a personal retreat. It helps
18:48you get clear on the things that really
18:49matter. And in this step where we're
18:51filling out the wheel of life, we're
18:52identifying the areas of greatest need
18:54so we can do something to bolster those
18:56areas. So even if all the scores are
18:58low, we're not going to try and address
19:00them all. We're going to focus on the
19:02lowest area. We're going to make
19:04progress there. And the next quarter, we
19:06can re-evaluate and set different
19:08intentions for a different area. I find
19:11it helpful to have separate sections
19:13below the wheel of life in my personal
19:14retreat template where I show the score
19:16and then I also create a quick bullet
19:18list of the things that went into the
19:20rating that I chose. So remember this is
19:23not quantitative data that's determining
19:25this score. It's based completely on gut
19:28feel for how things are going. We don't
19:30need any justification for the scores
19:32that we give when filling out the wheel
19:34of life. These are just some of the
19:35reasons for the feelings and the ratings
19:38that I choose. And again, the whole
19:39process of filling out this wheel of
19:41life takes about 60 minutes. So after
19:43the wheel of life, the next part of the
19:45personal retreat is the retrospective.
19:47And this is where we start to ask some
19:49of those questions that I talked about
19:51at the beginning of the video. Now, I
19:53break my retrospective up into two
19:55parts. And the first part takes about 60
19:57minutes. This is where I jot down bullet
19:59points for anything I can think of as it
20:01pertains to three specific prompts. What
20:05did I accomplish? What went well? and
20:08what could have gone better. Now, each
20:11of these questions serves a specific
20:13purpose. The first question, what did I
20:16accomplish? Helps me recognize and
20:18celebrate my wins. This is actually a
20:20lot harder for me than it sounds. In
20:22fact, the first time I did a personal
20:24retreat, I went away in September
20:26thinking I hadn't really done much that
20:28year. But when I started making a list
20:30of all the things that I had
20:31accomplished, I realized I'd actually
20:32done quite a bit. So the problem is that
20:35we tend to immediately move on to the
20:38next thing that needs to be done without
20:40taking the time to celebrate our wins
20:42and after a while we start to feel
20:43discouraged and overwhelmed like nothing
20:45we're doing is really working. So this
20:47question helps me realize that those
20:50feelings aren't true and it helps me
20:52recognize the things that are actually
20:55working. Now that actually leads to the
20:56second section, what went well? I'm a
20:59big fan of systems. I believe that the
21:01systems in your life are designed to get
21:02you the results that you have. And all
21:04systems have three parts. There's an
21:06input, there's a process, and then
21:08there's an output. Now, many times we
21:10get upset about the output. But the way
21:13to change the output is to modify either
21:15the input or the process. So, when I'm
21:18considering what went well, I'm
21:19recognizing what parts of my current
21:21workflow processes are producing the
21:23results that I want. I simply try to
21:26recognize these so I can do more of
21:28them. And the last question, what could
21:30have gone better? Helps me recognize the
21:31broken pieces of the systems in my life
21:33so that I can make modifications and
21:35hopefully get better results. The trick
21:37here is not to get upset about the
21:39results that you've gotten. But keep
21:41experimenting and keep tweaking things
21:43until you get the results that you want.
21:45The results that you're after should be
21:48in alignment with that ideal future that
21:50we described earlier in the personal
21:51retreat process. Okay. Okay, so for the
21:53first part of the retrospective, I just
21:55jot down as many things as I can think
21:56of in response to these three questions.
21:58And at the end, I have three different
22:00lists. And the whole process again takes
22:02about 60 minutes. So if you're keeping
22:04track, that's about 4 hours so far. And
22:06at this point, I find it helpful to take
22:08a break before I shift into thinking
22:10about the future. So if you're trying to
22:12do your whole personal retreat in a
22:13single day, this might be when you want
22:15to go get lunch. As I mentioned earlier,
22:17I like to go to the postcard cabin. So,
22:19I'll do the first part here before I go
22:21to bed, and then I'll pick up with the
22:23next part in the morning after I'm
22:25rested. But the important thing is you
22:27need to give your brain a break before
22:29the second part of the retrospective,
22:31which we'll talk about in just a minute,
22:33because this kind of thinking doesn't
22:36come naturally for a lot of people,
22:37myself included, and it can be very
22:39mentally fatiguing. So, you need to take
22:42a break and come back rested before the
22:43next part of this, which is, in my
22:45opinion, where the real magic happens.
22:48All right. So, the second part of the
22:49retrospective again focuses on three
22:51specific questions, but this is really
22:53the important part. Make sure you're
22:54paying attention. These three questions.
22:57What should I start doing? What should I
22:59stop doing? And what should I keep doing
23:02are magical. If you take only one thing
23:05away from the video, make it this. These
23:07three questions are so powerful. The
23:10reason they're so powerful is that they
23:12aren't very specific. When I ask these
23:14questions, they could be applied to any
23:16of the areas of my life that I rated in
23:18that wheel of life part that we just
23:19talked about. And that gives your brain
23:21permission to think about things a
23:23little bit more broadly. So again, at
23:25this point, we're just making bullet
23:26lists of things that fit under each one
23:28of these lists. These aren't things that
23:30I'm committing to. I'm just jotting down
23:33all of the possibilities. Now, this part
23:35of the process actually takes longer. It
23:37takes two hours. And I really want to
23:38stress, you cannot rush this part. Every
23:43single time I do a personal retreat, I
23:45get to this step. I start making these
23:47lists. And after about 30 to 40 minutes,
23:49I've got several things under each
23:51prompt. And at that point, your brain
23:53lies to you and it tells you, "You've
23:55got enough. It's time to move on and do
23:56something else." We're just so used to
23:59completing things and moving on to the
24:00next item on our to-do list that this
24:03type of thinking makes our brains
24:04uncomfortable. But if you stay with it
24:07for long enough, in my experience, it's
24:09usually about an hour and a half, you
24:11force your brain into a different mode
24:13and it gets to a whole different level
24:15when you're thinking about these types
24:16of things. So the things that you add
24:18after minute 90, those are really the
24:21good ones. So if you stick with it,
24:23don't rush this part. This is where you
24:26start to get the really good stuff. This
24:27is critical if you really want to create
24:29the motivation to take consistent action
24:31on the things that are truly important
24:32to you and the clarity to help you cut
24:34the things that aren't. Now, one of the
24:35things about this part of the
24:36retrospective, I always pick at least
24:38one thing to stop doing. I tend to get
24:41excited about new projects and
24:42opportunities. It's really easy for me
24:45to just keep saying yes to those things
24:47that I'm excited about. And we do want
24:49to follow our energy to some degree. The
24:51things that we're excited about are
24:53probably the things that are worth
24:54doing. But if all we do is say yes to
24:56new things, very quickly, we're going to
24:58reach the point where we can't keep up
25:00with it all. So, we need to learn to say
25:02no. And by forcing myself to pick one
25:05thing every time I do a personal retreat
25:07to stop doing, I create some systemic
25:10margin for myself to try new things
25:12without being completely overwhelmed.
25:14This is difficult sometimes as I am a
25:16bit of a recovering people pleaser. So
25:19if I say I'm going to do something, I
25:21don't want to let anyone down. But I
25:23have learned that the things that I said
25:24yes to 5 years ago would not necessarily
25:27be a yes if I was asked to do them
25:29today. And then once I recognize that,
25:31I've learned that it's worth having the
25:33difficult conversation and telling the
25:36person that this just isn't the right
25:37thing for me anymore. And often what I
25:40find is they feel the same way. But the
25:42story that we tell ourselves in our
25:44heads is that they're going to be really
25:45upset. They're going to be mad at me.
25:48Often that's not true. But even if it
25:50is, it's worth protecting our limited
25:52time and attention for the things that
25:54really matter. Unfortunately, no one is
25:57going to work towards your ideal future
25:58for you. So, we have to make sure that
26:01we are the ones taking consistent
26:02action. Now, after we've completed the
26:04retrospective, it's time to set our
26:06intentions or goals. Remember, we want
26:08to embrace the idea of intentional
26:10imbalance here. So, even if all your
26:12scores were low back in the wheel of
26:14life part, pick one or at most two goals
26:17for the next 90 days and define them
26:19here. When you set your goals, you want
26:21to tie them to the things that you can
26:23control. So, for example, let's say I
26:25want to grow my YouTube channel. Setting
26:27a goal of 20,000 YouTube subscribers is
26:30not a good goal. I can't control that
26:33outcome. It's a lag measure. That number
26:35is not one that I can directly
26:37influence. But if I set a goal of
26:39publishing a YouTube video every week,
26:41that's something I can control. That's a
26:44lead measure, and that's eventually
26:46going to produce the results that I'm
26:47after. But it's important when you're
26:49setting your intentions here that you
26:50pick things like those lead measures
26:52that are completely under your control
26:54to complete. Once again, this part of
26:56the personal retreat process takes about
26:5860 minutes. Now, once you identify your
27:00goals, then you want to break them down
27:02and figure out what milestones you have
27:04to hit in order to achieve those. These
27:06are kind of like mile markers on the way
27:07to your ideal future, which can help you
27:09make sure that you stay on track. And
27:11then from there, you want to break this
27:12down even further into daily actions
27:14that you can complete to consistently
27:16make progress on your goals. These daily
27:19things, if you did these, you want these
27:21to be so connected to the outcome that
27:23if you followed them, the score would
27:24automatically take care of itself. All
27:26right, so once you have your intentions
27:28set, the last part of the personal
27:29retreat is to carve out the space in
27:31your calendar in order to show up every
27:33day and take consistent action. And the
27:35way to do this is to create a template
27:37of your schedule that I call planning
27:39your perfect week. It's basically a time
27:42block plan for your week, but instead of
27:43having individual tasks or projects that
27:45you're working on, you're blocking time
27:47for the different modes that you're
27:49going to be in. So, for example, here's
27:50my perfect week calendar in my calendar
27:52app. I use different colors for the
27:54different areas of my life. You might
27:55see green, that's personal, yellow is
27:57family, purple is creating, red is
27:59thinking, orange is exercise, brown is
28:01planning, etc. And when you do this,
28:03you're making sure that you have the
28:04time set aside for taking consistent
28:06action on the goals that you just set.
28:09This also makes sure that you have time
28:10for the things that you want to do as
28:12well. So, for example, I have a weekly
28:14one-on-one with my kids on my perfect
28:16week, as well as family time, coaching,
28:18soccer, etc. The important thing is to
28:21make sure the things you really want to
28:23do get on this calendar, which
28:26significantly increases the chances of
28:27you following through and doing them
28:29when it's time to plan your individual
28:31day. And again, this last part of the
28:33personal retreat typically takes about
28:3560 minutes. So, as you can see, the
28:37whole thing takes about 8 hours. And
28:39while it might be possible to do an
28:41abbreviated personal retreat, I actually
28:44recommend you do as much of this as you
28:45possibly can. I recognize it's a
28:48significant time investment, but the
28:50productivity benefits provided by the
28:52clarity it gives you will yield
28:54exponential returns if you don't rush
28:56the process. While you can muscle
28:58through the whole thing in one day if
29:00you really want, as I mentioned before,
29:01I prefer to split it up and go overnight
29:04when I can. Now, for a long time, I've
29:06done my personal retreat on my laptop
29:08using an Obsidian template, as I
29:10mentioned earlier. And if you want to
29:12use that template for yourself, then it
29:14is actually in my Obsidian Starter
29:16Vault. The link is below this video if
29:18you want to download that. But there is
29:20something to be said about analog tools.
29:22So, I've actually partnered with Jesse
29:24Phillips at New Year to create a
29:25personal retreat planner that you can
29:27use for this purpose instead if you'd
29:29like. I've been a big fan of New Year
29:30for a long time. They make these big
29:32wall calendars that break the year into
29:34quarters where all of the months run
29:36together. I've actually been working
29:37with Jesse to create a custom branded
29:39wall calendar for the focus podcast I do
29:40with David Sparks. And I've been talking
29:42to him about building this planner for
29:44almost two years. This planner has an
29:46example personal retreat in the front,
29:48which is an actual personal retreat that
29:50I completed so you can see what it looks
29:51like. Then it has blank pages where you
29:53can do your own personal retreat. Then
29:55weekly and daily planning pages that you
29:57can use to make sure that your daily,
29:59weekly, and quarterly attentions all
30:00align. It's basically an analog tool for
30:03the multiscale planning concept that I
30:05described in this other video. And that
30:07alignment is the thing that helps you
30:09make progress on your goals. The daily
30:12plans have space for time blocking your
30:13most important tasks, logging your daily
30:15gratitude, and more. And if you want to
30:16see a walkthrough of the entire planner,
30:18I actually have an explainer video on
30:20the sales page, which is linked below
30:22this video. Now, obviously, you can do
30:24this in a blank notebook as well, but I
30:26like having my quarterly plan in the
30:28same place as my weekly and my daily
30:30plans, so I can review these easily. And
30:32if you like this approach, then you
30:34might like this planner. It cost $29,
30:36and again, the link is in the
30:38description below the video if you want
30:39to check it out. So, to wrap up this
30:41deep dive, I highly recommend you try
30:43out a personal retreat for yourself. You
30:45don't need to buy my planner. You don't
30:46need to follow my process exactly if you
30:48don't want to. Though, I do think it's a
30:49great place to start. I wholeheartedly
30:52believe though, if you get a way to
30:54think about the last quarter and plan
30:55the next one like this regularly, you
30:58will be exponentially more effective and
31:00make much greater progress on your
31:02goals. And if you could use a little bit
31:04of accountability with your personal
31:06retreat, regardless of what process you
31:07follow, we actually have weekly
31:09accountability calls inside of my
31:11private community. I've recently
31:12revamped it, so there are a couple of
31:14membership tiers. But if you just want
31:16to join other sense makers using PKM to
31:18learn and grow together, you can
31:19actually do that now for only $10 a
31:21month. I've had a couple people ask if I
31:23have a Discord, and I don't really want
31:24to do something like that, but I do want
31:26to have a place where people can ask me
31:27questions. And I do want something for
31:29people who don't care about all the
31:31courses and cohorts, but still want that
31:33community and the accountability. So, at
31:35$10 a month, you can get access to the
31:36library, join the Q&A calls, post your
31:39questions in the private forum, and you
31:41can find out more about the library
31:42right now by going to
31:44library.practicalpkm.com.
31:46And also, if you want more PKM resources
31:48to help you get more out of your notes
31:50and ideas, check out my free Obsidian
31:51starter vault. I mentioned I added my
31:53personal retreat template file to that
31:55vault. So, you can actually get that
31:57plus a bunch of other templates and tips
31:59right now for free by going to
32:00vault.practicalpkm.com.
32:03Thanks for watching and we'll see you in
32:05another

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