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Do I Need To Be Fully Healed Before I Get Into A Relationship? — Transcript

by Andriana Nik · 4,664 words · 680 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Do you need to be fully healed before
0:02you get into a relationship? Well, the
0:04thing is two women can say this exact
0:07same sentence and they can come from two
0:10very different places. They both could
0:12say, "I'm not dating right now. I'm
0:14focusing on myself." And one of them is
0:17making a really healthy decision while
0:19the other one is actually hiding. Mostly
0:22she's hiding from herself. It's because
0:24sometimes when someone says, "I'm
0:26focusing on myself," it means I'm
0:28finally building a life I love and I'm
0:31not willing to interrupt it for someone
0:34who isn't right for me. And sometimes it
0:37means that I'm terrified of getting hurt
0:39again. So, I'm going to make sure that
0:41nobody even gets close enough to hurt
0:44me. And from the outside, both of these
0:47women can look exactly the same. They're
0:49both single. They're both working on
0:51themselves. They're both saying that
0:53they want to wait for the right person,
0:55but internally they're living completely
0:59different realities. And I think that
1:02figuring out which one you are might be
1:05much more important than figuring out
1:08whether you're healed enough to date.
1:11Because here's something that I
1:12genuinely wish someone had told me
1:14sooner. You do not have to become a
1:17perfectly healed woman before you're
1:20allowed to be loved. But you also
1:23shouldn't use a relationship to avoid
1:25doing the work that you already know
1:27that you need to do. So where exactly is
1:30that line? And how do you know whether
1:32you are genuinely waiting for the right
1:34person or whether you are using healing
1:37as a very sophisticated way of staying
1:40safe? And that's what we're going to
1:42talk about today. Hey guys, I'm Andrea.
1:44Welcome back to my channel. So today's
1:47video is about the question that I get
1:49asked genuinely all the time. And that's
1:52the question of do I need to be fully
1:55healed before I get into a relationship
1:57or should I wait until I'm completely
2:00secure and have worked through
2:02everything before I let someone into my
2:04life? And I completely understand why
2:07this question is so confusing because
2:10everywhere that you look, you're getting
2:11a different answer. One person says you
2:14need to heal yourself first. Another
2:16person says you know you'll never be
2:18completely healed so just go and date.
2:21Someone says you have to become secure
2:24before you can have a secure
2:25relationship. And someone else says you
2:28actually can heal through being loved
2:31properly. So which one is it? Which one
2:33is true? Do you wait? Do you date? Do
2:36you heal yourself first? Do you let
2:39someone in? I think we've made this much
2:42more complicated than it needs to be
2:44because I don't think that the real
2:46question is that am I healed enough to
2:49be in a relationship? I think the better
2:51question is that am I in a place where I
2:55can be in a relationship without making
2:58another person responsible for
3:01regulating me or healing me. And those
3:03are two very different things that
3:05basically show that you come from a very
3:07different place and a very different
3:09intention because you can be imperfect
3:11and still be ready for love. You can
3:13have insecurities. You can have
3:15triggers. You can have fears. You can
3:18have you can have things that you're
3:19still working through. You can have
3:20moments where you're not your most
3:22secure self and still be a loving and
3:26emotionally responsible partner. But
3:29there's also a difference between I'm
3:31still healing and I'm waiting for
3:34someone else to make me feel okay. So
3:37the first question we need to ask is
3:39what do we actually mean by healed?
3:41Because before we even answer whether
3:44you need to be healed, I think that we
3:46need to define what we're talking about
3:48because what does fully healed even
3:51mean? Does it mean that you never get
3:53jealous? You never overthink? You never
3:56feel insecure? You never get triggered?
3:58You never fear rejection. You never have
4:00a bad day. You never need reassurance.
4:03You never have an emotional reaction. If
4:06that is the standard, I generally don't
4:08think that anyone is ever getting into a
4:10relationship because what we forget if
4:13we put this standard is that we are all
4:15human and relationships are intimate.
4:18The role of relationships is to bring
4:20these things into surface. Relationships
4:23are mirrors. And even when you're fully
4:26healed, they're going to still find a
4:29way to show you and reflect to you
4:32something about yourself that you need
4:34to grow on and heal on because we're
4:36humans and we're ever growing. So if
4:38you're ever growing, it means that
4:40you're ever healing. You're ever
4:42becoming. So if you're ever becoming
4:44that means your relationships even like
4:47if you reach the zenith of the healing
4:49you could do at this stage in your life
4:51your relationship will still trigger you
4:53because you're going to reflect a new
4:56aspect of yourself that is going to be
4:58growing that is going to be evolving.
5:01The nature of relationships is that they
5:03need to be intimate. So the nature of
5:05relationships is to bring things to the
5:07surface. The closer somebody gets to
5:10you, the more opportunities there are
5:12for your deepest fears to be touched.
5:15And I don't think that the goal of
5:17healing is to become a woman who can
5:19never be triggered. This is not the
5:21point. I think actually that the goal is
5:24to become a woman who knows what to do
5:27when she is triggered. And that's a very
5:29different standard because imagine two
5:31women who experience the exact same
5:33situation. For example, their partner
5:36takes longer than usual to respond. Both
5:38of these women are going to feel that
5:40familiar little drop in their stomach.
5:43Both of them, they might think that,
5:45well, something's wrong. Something's up.
5:47Both of them are might feel insecure for
5:50that moment. Neither one of them has
5:51become completely healed. But one woman
5:54immediately starts spiraling. She checks
5:56her phone. She creates a story. She
5:59withdraws to punish him. She might send
6:01a passive aggressive message. She might
6:03start testing him. She might start
6:05convincing herself that that person is
6:07losing interest. And now that trigger is
6:11running the relationship while the other
6:13woman feels the exact same initial
6:16reaction, but she notices it. She
6:19thinks, "Okay, well, right now I'm
6:21feeling activated." And she doesn't
6:23shame herself for it. And she doesn't
6:25immediately turn the feeling into a
6:28fact. She's able to give herself some
6:30space. She checks what is actually
6:32happening and know what is her mind is
6:34telling him that it's happening. And if
6:36something genuinely needs to be
6:38addressed, she communicates it. Maybe
6:41she's still uncomfortable, maybe she
6:43still needs reassurance, maybe that
6:45woman still has a little work to do, but
6:48the trigger doesn't get to take over the
6:52entire relationship. So, we have the
6:54same trigger, but completely different
6:57responses. And that's what I think
6:59healing actually looks like. It's not
7:01never feeling anything, not never
7:03getting triggered. It's having more
7:06choice in what you do with what you
7:08feel. It's having more choice with how
7:11you react when you get triggered, when
7:14you get activated. You do not need to be
7:16healed. You need to be responsible. And
7:19this is where I think that the
7:20conversation gets more useful because I
7:24don't think that you need to be fully
7:26healed before you get into a
7:29relationship. But I do think that you
7:31need to be responsible for your own
7:33healing before you get into a
7:35relationship. The difference is that you
7:37can enter a relationship with wounds,
7:39but you can't enter one expecting that
7:42your partner is going to be the one that
7:44is going to constantly manage those
7:46wounds for you. You can say this is
7:48something that I'm working on that is
7:51healthy that is aware but there's a
7:53difference between this gets activated
7:55for me sometimes and I'm learning how to
7:58handle it and this gets activated
8:01therefore you need to change everything
8:03that you're doing so I never get to feel
8:05it I never get to be in touch with that
8:07feeling again never have to deal with
8:09that feeling again one is taking
8:11responsibility while the other is
8:13outsourcing it is expecting the other
8:17person to never trigger you, to never do
8:21anything that will um activate you. And
8:24I think this is where the idea of being
8:27fully healed can actually become
8:29counterproductive because you can start
8:31believing I need to fix myself before
8:34anyone can love me. And that can sound
8:37like self-development, but underneath
8:40it, there can be another belief that the
8:43version of me that exists right now
8:45isn't worthy of being loved. And I don't
8:48want you to build your healing journey
8:50on that belief. You do not have to
8:53become perfect before you're lovable.
8:55You do not have to eliminate every
8:58insecurity before someone can choose
9:00you. You do not have to resolve every
9:03wound before you're allowed to
9:05experience intimacy. And I think it's
9:07because part of being in a healthy
9:09relationship is learning how to be known
9:11while you're still human. The goal is
9:13not that I will heal everything and then
9:16I will finally be ready for love. I will
9:19finally be worthy to be loved. It's that
9:22I'm willing to keep growing even while
9:25I'm loved. And I think this is the more
9:28realistic definition of readiness. But
9:31there's also a difference between being
9:33imperfect and being unavailable. And
9:36this is where I want to draw an
9:37important line. I don't want you to hear
9:39me say you don't need to be healed. So
9:42just get into any relationship no matter
9:44what. No, there are certain things that
9:47you do need to be able to do. You need
9:49to be capable of taking accountability.
9:52You need to be capable of communicating.
9:55You need to be capable of hearing
9:57another person's perspective without
10:00immediately becoming defensive. You need
10:03to be able to recognize when something
10:05is yours to work on. You need to be able
10:08to apologize. You need to be able to
10:10repair. You need to be able to tolerate
10:14some discomfort without you immediately
10:16running away from it. And you also need
10:18to be willing to look at yourself
10:20honestly because there's a difference
10:22between I'm still healing and the I'm
10:25not ready to take responsibility for how
10:28my wounds affect another person. The
10:31first one is human but the second one is
10:33a problem. And I think again this is a
10:35better measure of readiness. Not how
10:38healed am I but how willing am I to be
10:41accountable for myself? Because you can
10:43be deeply wounded and still be
10:46emotionally responsible. And you can
10:48also be incredibly knowledgeable about
10:51attachment theory, about therapy, about
10:53healing, about boundaries, about
10:56self-love, psychology, and still be
10:59completely unwilling to look at your own
11:02behavior and be aware of what you're
11:04doing. So knowing the language of
11:06healing isn't the same as doing the
11:09work. And so this brings me back to
11:11those two women that I talked about at
11:13the beginning. Both say that I'm not
11:16dating right now. I'm focusing on
11:18myself. But let's look a little bit
11:20closer. The key difference between these
11:22two women is the intention behind their
11:25actions. So one woman comes from a place
11:28of fear and needing to protect herself
11:31from any possible hurt. But the second
11:34one comes from a place of love. Love of
11:37the life that she has built. So, the
11:39first woman is saying it because she's
11:41afraid. She's been hurt in the past. She
11:44doesn't trust people anymore. She's
11:46constantly looking for signs that
11:48someone might disappoint her. She tells
11:51herself that I'm just protecting my
11:53peace. But in reality, she's making sure
11:56that nobody gets close enough to disrupt
12:00it, to disregulate her, to trigger her.
12:03She's controlling the exposure. She's
12:06controlling the risk and she's
12:08controlling the possibility of
12:09rejection. And because she's never
12:12putting herself in a situation where she
12:14could be heard, she also never gets the
12:17opportunity to discover that she could
12:19survive being heard differently this
12:22time. She's not necessarily choosing
12:24solitude. She's using solitude to feel
12:27safe. And there's nothing shameful about
12:29that. Maybe she needs some time. Maybe
12:32she's genuinely overwhelmed. Maybe she's
12:35healing from something that was very
12:36painful and that is okay. But she needs
12:40to be honest with herself about that
12:42because if the thought of dating
12:44creates, oh my god, what if they hurt
12:46me? What if they leave? What if I trust
12:48and I again the wrong person and I end
12:51up being wrong again? What if I lose
12:53myself again? Then if you come from that
12:55place, then maybe the thing you are
12:58waiting for isn't the right person. But
13:00maybe you're waiting until love feels
13:03completely risk-f free. The truth is
13:06that love will never be completely
13:09risk-f free. The second woman is also
13:11not dating. But she is in a completely
13:14different place. She's not hiding out of
13:17fear. She's leaving. She's going to
13:19work. She's seeing her friends. She's
13:21traveling. She's learning. She's
13:23creating. She's dating when she wants
13:26to. And she's not dating when she
13:27doesn't. and she was able to build a
13:30life that she genuinely loves. And she's
13:33not thinking nobody's good enough for
13:35me. She comes from a place where she's
13:37thinking I don't need to force something
13:40just because I don't want to be alone.
13:42She's not afraid of people. She's not
13:44afraid of intimacy. She's not afraid of
13:47being vulnerable. She's just not willing
13:49to interrupt the peace that she created
13:52for herself for a relationship that
13:55doesn't fit. And I think that's a very
13:57important distinction because one woman
14:00is saying nobody gets close because I
14:03don't trust people while the other woman
14:05is saying that someone can get close
14:08when there's actually something worth
14:11building with them. So it's the same
14:13behavior but it comes from a very
14:15different root. One comes from the root
14:17of fear of getting hurt while the other
14:20one comes from the root of valuing what
14:22she's already built. And that's why I
14:25think we need to stop judging decisions
14:28purely by what they look like from the
14:30outside. You can say, "I'm single. I'm
14:32not dating. I'm focusing on myself."
14:34These words don't tell you enough. You
14:38have to ask what is underneath this
14:41boundary or wall. And this is what I
14:44think is one of the most useful
14:46questions that you can ask yourself. And
14:48it's the question that is this a
14:50boundary or is this a wall? because they
14:52can look almost identical. A boundary
14:55says I know what works for me and I'm
14:58willing to let people get close while
15:01still honoring myself. And the wall says
15:03that nobody gets close because I need to
15:06make sure that I can never be hurt
15:08again. A boundary still allows intimacy,
15:11but a wall prevents it. A boundary says
15:14that if someone consistently treats me
15:17in a way that doesn't work for me, I
15:19will leave. while a wall says that I
15:22won't let anyone get close enough for me
15:25to ever find out how they will treat me.
15:28And so that's their huge difference.
15:30Healing is not supposed to make you
15:33impossible to hurt. It's just supposed
15:36to make you trust yourself enough to
15:39know that if something happens, I will
15:42be able to handle it. This is what
15:43safety sounds like. It's not that
15:46nothing bad will ever happen to me.
15:48Safety says that I trust myself to
15:51respond if it does to take care of
15:54myself properly if it does. And I think
15:56this is something you can build without
15:58waiting for that perfection. So what if
16:00you're still triggered? This is where I
16:02think so many women get really more
16:05confused because they think that if I
16:08still get anxious, I'm not healed. If I
16:10still get jealous, I'm not healed. If I
16:13still want reassurance, it means that
16:15I'm still not healed. If I still have
16:17abandonment fears, it means that I'm
16:19still not healed. But what if the
16:22presence of the feeling isn't a problem?
16:25What if the question is what happens
16:27next? Yes, you get triggered. Do you
16:30immediately make the feeling mean
16:33something? Or can you pause? Can you
16:36say, "Oh, this is bringing something up
16:39for me rather than you going, oh, this
16:41just proves something is wrong.
16:43Something is going to happen." Can you
16:45communicate without making the other
16:48person responsible for eliminating your
16:51fear? Can you hear reassurance without
16:54you needing it repeatedly every 10
16:56minutes? Can you notice when you're
16:58reacting from the past instead of the
17:00present? Can you apologize when you
17:03realize you projected something onto
17:06somebody? Can you let somebody show you
17:08who they actually are instead of making
17:11them pay for what someone else did in
17:14your past? That is growth. And a lot of
17:16times, relationships will reveal things
17:19about you that you didn't know they were
17:21still there. And that is okay because a
17:23healthy relationship isn't a test that
17:25you have to pass before you're allowed
17:28inside. Sometimes it's a place where you
17:30get to discover all of the places that
17:32you still need to grow, that you still
17:34need to work on, you still need to do a
17:37bit more work on. But don't use healing
17:40to avoid real life. There's another side
17:43to this conversation that I think that
17:45we need to be honest about. Sometimes
17:47the I'm working on myself becomes a very
17:51comfortable place to hide because
17:53healing can become endless. You can
17:56always find another wound. You can
17:58always find another belief, another
18:01attachment pattern, another thing that
18:03you should work on, another book that
18:05you need to read, another podcast that
18:07you need to listen to, another part of
18:09yourself that you need to improve and
18:11fix. And so, you know, suddenly you are
18:14waiting to become some imaginary,
18:17perfect, ideal version of yourself who
18:20has no fears, no insecurities, no
18:23triggers, no baggage. and that person
18:27doesn't exist. That version of yourself
18:29doesn't exist. At some point, you have
18:32to actually leave. You have to have
18:34conversations. You have to risk being
18:37misunderstood. You have to let somebody
18:40know you and you have to find out what
18:43it is like to have your wounds touched
18:46by real intimacy, real vulnerability.
18:50You cannot learn everything about
18:52relationships while you're standing
18:54outside of them. There are things that
18:56you only get to learn through being with
18:59another human being. Like for example,
19:01how do I communicate when I'm hurt? How
19:03do I handle conflict? How do I receive
19:06love? How do I maintain myself inside
19:09closeness? How do I repair after I made
19:12a mistake? How do I let somebody support
19:16me without becoming dependent on them?
19:18How do I get to remain myself while
19:21becoming part of a wei? You cannot
19:23practice all of these alone. And that's
19:26why I do not believe that healing and
19:28relationships have to happen in two
19:31completely separate chapters of your
19:33life. Sometimes they overlap. But key
19:36reminder, don't expect the relationship
19:38to heal what you refuse to face. At the
19:42same time, I don't want to romanticize
19:45the idea that the right person will heal
19:48me, the right person will fix me because
19:50they won't. The right person can create
19:53a safe environment. They can love you.
19:55They can reassure you. They can be
19:57consistent. They can communicate. They
20:00can show you that not everyone behaves
20:03like the people who hurt you. And that
20:05can be incredibly healing. But the thing
20:08is they cannot do your internal work for
20:11you. They cannot make you believe that
20:13you're worthy. They cannot regulate
20:16every emotion that you have. They cannot
20:18consistently prove that they won't
20:20leave. They cannot undo every experience
20:24that you ever had. And if you're asking
20:26someone to carry all of that for you,
20:29eventually the relationship becomes less
20:32like a partnership and more like
20:34treatment. And that is not fair to put
20:36on another person. So let yourself be
20:40loved while you're healing, but don't
20:42make someone responsible for that
20:44healing. That is a distinction that I
20:46want to make. So should you date? You're
20:49asking me, should I wait until I'm
20:52completely healed before I date? My
20:54answer is no. I don't think that you
20:57need to wait for perfection. But I also
21:00don't think that you should force
21:01yourself to date just because you think
21:04that you need to put yourself out there.
21:06Instead, ask yourself, can I let someone
21:10into my life without making that person
21:12responsible for my sense of safety, for
21:15my sense of worth or my identity? And
21:17also ask yourself, am I avoiding dating
21:20because I genuinely don't want it right
21:22now or because I am terrified of what
21:26dating might bring up for me? And maybe
21:29most importantly, ask yourself, if
21:31someone healthy came into my life
21:33tomorrow, would I actually let them get
21:36close? Because I think these questions
21:38are going to tell you a lot. If your
21:40answer in this last question is that I
21:42would love to meet someone, I'm open.
21:45I'm just not forcing anything. Then
21:47beautiful. You don't need to go hunting
21:50for a relationship. But if your answer
21:53is absolutely not, I don't trust anyone.
21:55I don't want to need anyone. I don't
21:58want anyone to have the ability to hurt
22:01me. Then maybe there's still some work
22:04there. And not because you're broken and
22:07undeserving of love and therefore you
22:10need to fix yourself before you get in a
22:12relationship that you might end up
22:13hurting someone, but because you I want
22:17you to protect yourself. You also can
22:20hurt others, but mostly you're in a
22:23fragile state where you can hurt
22:26yourself. And I think you really deserve
22:28to understand the feeling of what ready
22:32actually feels like and what ready
22:34actually looks like. I don't think that
22:37readiness looks like nothing triggers me
22:40anymore. I think that it looks more like
22:43I know myself. I can communicate. I'm in
22:46a place where I can take accountability.
22:48I can recognize when something is mine
22:51to work on. When something is mine to
22:53regulate. I can let someone be different
22:56from the people who hurt me. I can
22:59tolerate some uncertainty without
23:02needing to control everything. I can
23:04receive love without immediately
23:07questioning whether I deserve it. I can
23:10be alone if I need to be. I can walk
23:13away if something is not right for me.
23:15And maybe most importantly, I know that
23:18being rejected by someone doesn't mean
23:20that I have been rejected by life.
23:23That's readiness to me. It's not
23:25perfection, but it's capacity. It shows
23:28to me that you are capable enough to go
23:31into a new relationship. I think that we
23:33have accidentally turned healing into
23:36another form of performance. We are
23:38constantly asking, "Am I healed enough?
23:41Am I secure enough? Am I feminine
23:44enough? Am I ready enough?" And
23:46underneath all of those questions is
23:49sometimes another way of asking this
23:52question. Am I finally good enough to be
23:55loved? And I want you to be very careful
23:57with that because you don't have to earn
24:01your right to be loved, your right to
24:04experience love by you having to become
24:07a flawless version of yourself. You are
24:10allowed to be a work in progress. You
24:12are allowed to have fears. You're
24:15allowed to have things that you're still
24:17learning. You're allowed to be loved
24:19while you're still growing. But you also
24:22have to be honest about what you're
24:25asking another person to carry. A
24:28healthy love isn't I have no wounds and
24:31neither do you. But it's I know my
24:34wounds are mine to work on and I trust
24:37you enough to let you know me while I am
24:40working on these wounds. So, if you're
24:42currently saying, "I'm not dating. I'm
24:45focusing on myself." I don't want you to
24:47immediately decide whether that's good
24:50or bad. Instead, I want you to sit with
24:52it and ask yourself, am I creating space
24:56for the right person or am I creating
24:58distance from anyone and everyone? Am I
25:01enjoying my life or am I waiting for my
25:05life to feel safe enough? Am I being
25:07selective or am I avoiding
25:09vulnerability? Is this a boundary or is
25:12this a wall? If someone genuinely
25:15healthy showed up, would I let them in?
25:18And be brutally honest because nobody
25:21else needs to know the answer. But you
25:24do. You need to know this. And if you
25:27realize that you're in a place where
25:29you're protecting yourself, I don't want
25:31you to shame yourself for that either.
25:33Maybe you are in a place where you need
25:34more time. So take it, but call it what
25:38it is. You do not have to dress up your
25:41fears as wisdom. And you don't have to
25:44dress your readiness up as perfection.
25:47Because if there's one thing I want you
25:49to take away from this video, it's this.
25:52You do not need to be fully healed
25:54before you get into a relationship. But
25:57you need to be fully honest about where
26:00you are. You need to be willing to take
26:02responsibility for yourself. You need to
26:05be willing to keep growing. And you need
26:07to be able to let another person be a
26:10partner rather than making them your
26:13therapist, your regulator, your proof of
26:16worth, or your solution to your
26:17loneliness. And if you're not ready yet,
26:20that's okay. You don't have to rush. But
26:23make sure that you are waiting because
26:26you're building something that you
26:28genuinely love and not because you are
26:31terrified of what might happen if you
26:34let someone in. Because as we've said,
26:36there's a huge difference between I'm
26:38not dating because I am afraid of being
26:40hurt and I'm not dating because I'm not
26:43willing to let just anyone into the life
26:46that I've built. One is protection while
26:49the other one is discernment. And
26:51sometimes you don't know which one
26:52you're practicing until you imagine the
26:56exact thing that you're supposedly
26:58waiting for. Imagine that the right
27:00person actually showed up tomorrow.
27:02someone emotionally available,
27:04consistent, kind, someone who
27:06communicates, someone who you genuinely
27:09feel safe with, someone that you
27:11actually like, would you be able to let
27:13them in? Or would you immediately find
27:16another reason why you're not ready?
27:19Because if the answer is, I will let
27:21them in, then maybe you're not waiting
27:24for healing. Maybe you're simply waiting
27:26for something that feels worth opening
27:29the door for. And if the answer is, I
27:32don't think I could, that's okay, too,
27:34because now you know what the work
27:36actually is. It's not about becoming
27:38perfect, but it's learning how to feel
27:40safe enough to be known. And I
27:42[clears throat] think that's the
27:43beautiful thing about real healing. It
27:46doesn't turn you into someone who never
27:48gets hurt, but it turns you into someone
27:51who no longer needs to hide from life
27:55just to avoid being hurt. So, no, I
27:57don't think that you need to be fully
27:59healed. I think that you need to be
28:01honest. Honest about what you're ready
28:03for, honest about what you're still
28:05working through, honest about what
28:08you're asking another person to carry,
28:10and honest about why you are waiting
28:14because fear can keep you waiting
28:16forever. But self-respect won't.
28:18Selfrespect will simply make you willing
28:22to wait for what is actually worth
28:25letting into your life. So that's it for
28:27today, guys. Thank you so much for being
28:29here and as always, I'll see you soon on
28:32the next one. Bye.

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