Desperate Housewives moments with absolutely no context — Transcript

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1. 0:06ding dong here's the big news Parker
2. 0:08offered me a fudgical if I was on my
3. 0:10vagina I am not sleeping in a bed that
4. 0:12had your dead Mistresses teeth in it
5. 0:13what happened to your ride
6. 0:16the guy grabbed my boob so I hit him
7. 0:18over the head with his bong and I got
8. 0:20out with all his conniving and trick
9. 0:25yeah he's hot
10. 0:30oh
11. 0:31[Music]
12. 0:33damn it do you want to help with the
13. 0:35seating cards sure do you want to tell
14. 0:37me why you had your foot in John
15. 0:38Roland's crotch yesterday
16. 0:39[Music]
17. 0:48[Music]
18. 0:53Revan the camp we have a warrant for
19. 0:55your arrest yeah yeah she also has the
20. 0:57right to remain horny I can't believe
21. 0:58you tried to kill me yes well I feel
22. 1:01badly about that
23. 1:02[Music]
24. 1:04all right
25. 1:08and then you did this
26. 1:12she's a man-eating scum sucking whole
27. 1:15bag
28. 1:16we're gonna be doing psychological role
29. 1:19playing here Brie and a funny word like
30. 1:21Boise will ruin the mood we need
31. 1:23something that sounds serious
32. 1:26hmm
33. 1:28how about Palestine
34. 1:32don't tell your brothers you were always
35. 1:34my favorite
36. 1:35this little banana in your freezer
37. 1:38I'm a with a Capital C I wanna
38. 1:43tell you that the affair was one thing
39. 1:47on some small level I thought that you
40. 1:49were in love with her and now I find out
41. 1:50you were just groping people in parties
42. 1:54[Music]
43. 2:08[Music]
44. 2:13help help please that's the club are you
45. 2:17kidding there's no place in Fairview
46. 2:19that's more peaceful
47. 2:23I know your wife's dead and all but it's
48. 2:26been six months lighten up Rex cries
49. 2:28after he ejaculates
50. 2:37Paul
51. 2:46wow man that is weird can you hear Do
52. 2:50you hear that car alarm
53. 2:52ah no wow
54. 2:55a model and a poet so while you're doing
55. 2:58porn he can make the dialogue rhyme we
56. 3:00don't know who I fantasize about no not
57. 3:03necessarily anyone want more wine Tom
58. 3:06skavo
59. 3:08most home dear
60. 3:10my wife is holding me hostage
61. 3:13you're bad in bed
62. 3:15what I am so grateful that I still have
63. 3:18a true friend
64. 3:27maybe I burned her house down we'll see
65. 3:29you were chewing and so I didn't really
66. 3:30hear what you said could you just say it
67. 3:33again I burnt your house down it was
68. 3:35great what do you want
69. 3:41a minute
70. 3:50I like to be dominated
71. 3:54huh
72. 3:59oh good you're home
73. 4:02I'm gonna go read porn
74. 4:05and Braille
75. 4:10the hell is that oh my water broke I had
76. 4:15two children for what breakfast
77. 4:25queer and we're used to it every time
78. 4:27you turn around there's a new disease do
79. 4:29you want it to burn when you pee mom sex
80. 4:31kills mom
81. 4:33God's sakes was it this
82. 4:36or was it this
83. 4:38[Music]
84. 4:42huh
85. 4:44open that blouse what nope
86. 4:50you can't outrun me
87. 4:52right now
88. 5:00now if we could all take a moment to
89. 5:03remember the people who weren't as lucky
90. 5:05as I was
91. 5:09mine Catherine are you gay or straight I
92. 5:11don't know just because I enjoy having
93. 5:13sex with you doesn't make me a lesbian
94. 5:18[Music]
95. 5:20what are you doing
96. 5:22I need your help Preston can't find a
97. 5:24shoe I put it in the oven I figured when
98. 5:27I said no that would be the end of it no
99. 5:29she seems more determined than ever
100. 5:32what the hell are you doing
101. 5:34what it's my Suicide pie your what I
102. 5:38made it to kill myself
103. 5:40full of sleeping pills and tranquilizers
104. 5:42and a bottle of liquid something oh my
105. 5:45God
106. 5:46I had two pieces
107. 5:48oh I'm so sorry Bree
108. 5:49[Music]
109. 5:51so you wouldn't go to the hospital or
110. 5:52something yes I want to go to the
111. 5:54hospital any word from the bridal party
112. 5:57they're still in the bride's room who
113. 5:59know women they're probably in there
114. 6:00fussing about mascara and blush
115. 6:03corrupt and dissolve the pieces in acid
116. 6:07Susan what the hell are you doing when
117. 6:09you moved here I tried to give you the
118. 6:11benefit of the doubt anybody
119. 6:27think for a minute when is this stock
120. 6:30ever going to be higher
121. 6:34great player
122. 6:35yeah maybe a great quarterback like I
123. 6:38don't know Manning
124. 6:42Wow Girls people can hear us oh I told
125. 6:46you we couldn't trust her I can't see it