Dating for the First Time at 40: What I Learned About Myself & Men — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00So this is my first video on love dating
2. 0:03and relationships. So for the last 2
3. 0:06years I have been dating online apps
4. 0:09dating. I went on my first ever date in
5. 0:13my whole life when I was 40 years old.
6. 0:1740 years on this planet and I had never
7. 0:19gone on a date before. So 40 years old I
8. 0:22went on my very first date and this is
9. 0:24how that happened. So I was in a
10. 0:27long-term relationship. I was with the
11. 0:29same person for like I think it's 17
12. 0:31years. Sometimes I try to figure out the
13. 0:32dates and I I keep getting it wrong, but
14. 0:34from when I was 21 till about just about
15. 0:37I think 36 37 around there. Um so we
16. 0:41were in a long-term relationship. We had
17. 0:42two kids together. Um and when we got
18. 0:46together, there was no dating back then.
19. 0:49Um there was no dating in the area that
20. 0:52I lived in anyway. Like to meet men, we
21. 0:55would get dressed up, go out to
22. 0:56nightclubs or pubs and then you get like
23. 0:58their phone number and you kind of meet
24. 1:01them in person and then you just kind of
25. 1:03hang out after that. Um or like meet up
26. 1:06for drinks or whatever. That seemed to
27. 1:08be the way that we all met guys. So
28. 1:12there wasn't really any dating. Fast
29. 1:14forward to when I'm 36 or 37 and I
30. 1:18become single. So, I became single after
31. 1:21this long-term relationship. Um, I
32. 1:24started going out like we used to when
33. 1:26we were 20. Um, and I was meeting guys
34. 1:29and everything, getting their phone
35. 1:31numbers and stuff, but I was having a
36. 1:34really hard time feeling interested in
37. 1:37anybody. And this went on for 2 years.
38. 1:40Two whole years I was attracted to
39. 1:43nobody. Like, I literally was getting to
40. 1:46the point where I thought something was
41. 1:47wrong with me. Like I would give it a
42. 1:49chance. Like if a guy was like, "Oh, can
43. 1:51I get your number?" or whatever. Um I'd
44. 1:53be like, "Yeah, of course." And then
45. 1:55when they would start messaging, I'd be
46. 1:57like, "Sorry, like I don't want to waste
47. 1:59our both of our time. I'm just not
48. 2:02interested." Um and this went on for a
49. 2:04really long time. Then I met the most
50. 2:08gorgeous man down at my local pub. Like
51. 2:10I literally walked in and I spotted him
52. 2:13from across the room and I was like,
53. 2:15"Mine. [laughter] he is mine. Um, he was
54. 2:19the first guy I've been attracted to in
55. 2:212 years. So, um, I worked my magic. I
56. 2:25got his attention. Um, and we ended up
57. 2:29seeing each other in like a
58. 2:31situationship kind of situation for 2
59. 2:34years. Um, it was beautiful, but it was
60. 2:36also not great. Um, and I'll unpack all
61. 2:39of that in another video. Anyway, that
62. 2:42ended when I was 40. And then a good
63. 2:46friend of mine, somebody who I really
64. 2:48trust her opinion, she was like, "Jess,
65. 2:51cuz I was like, I'm so sick of these
66. 2:52guys that I'm meeting in pubs, like um I
67. 2:55kne I want I wanted something different.
68. 2:57Um a different type of man. I don't
69. 2:59know." Um and she was like, "You have to
70. 3:02go on the dating apps. It's like what
71. 3:05people do now to meet people." And I had
72. 3:09only heard honestly horror stories from
73. 3:12friends that had been on Tinder um about
74. 3:15these guys and like what they would do
75. 3:17and the photos that they would send and
76. 3:19stuff. And I was like, I don't want to
77. 3:21do that. It sounds so awful. Um and she
78. 3:24was like, you need to get out there and
79. 3:27go on dates. You need to meet different
80. 3:29types of men. Um and put yourself out
81. 3:32there a bit. So I was like, valid point.
82. 3:36Um, and this is what people are doing
83. 3:38now. Um, and so I reluctantly but also
84. 3:43excitedly created a profile on the
85. 3:47dating app Bumble. Um, I wasn't going to
86. 3:50go near Tinder because of the things
87. 3:52that I had heard. So, put on a um
88. 3:56profile on Bumble
89. 3:59and I was pleasantly surprised. Like the
90. 4:03men that I started talking to seemed
91. 4:05normal. There was nothing horrifying
92. 4:08about it. And I was like, "Oh, like I
93. 4:11like this. This is good." And it's very
94. 4:13direct. Um yeah, they're like asking you
95. 4:17like what you want from a relationship
96. 4:19and um all that type of thing. I did
97. 4:22find Bumble a little bit overwhelming.
98. 4:24You seem to get just this in just way
99. 4:28too many matches. Um, and it just was a
100. 4:32little bit overwhelming. I saw that
101. 4:35Hinge was a popular app. So, I was like,
102. 4:37why not try that? So, I put a profile on
103. 4:40Hinge and I liked it so much better. It
104. 4:43just seemed to be a little bit more sort
105. 4:44of refined. um they were really good
106. 4:47with like their prompts and things to
107. 4:49get conversations started which I liked.
108. 4:51So I ended up deleting my profile off
109. 4:53Bumble and stuck with Hinge. The problem
110. 4:57that I was having was that I was
111. 4:58chatting to all these guys that honestly
112. 5:00seemed great for like the first 2 or 3
113. 5:03months and I just couldn't feel a spark
114. 5:06again. I was going through this again.
115. 5:08I'm like these guys are great. they
116. 5:10would ask you out for coffee or um to go
117. 5:13for some dinner or go for drinks and I'd
118. 5:16be like, "I've got to put myself out
119. 5:17there. Like, I've got to open myself up
120. 5:19to this if I want a partner or a
121. 5:22companion." So, I kept saying yes, but
122. 5:24then I would cancel the dates. Um
123. 5:26partially cuz I was just like nervous to
124. 5:29go on these dates and partially because
125. 5:31I just knew that I just wasn't
126. 5:33interested.
127. 5:34Then one evening I'm scrolling through
128. 5:39um checking out like who had liked me
129. 5:41during the day like they like you and
130. 5:42you can choose to match with them or
131. 5:44not. Going through going through and
132. 5:46this guy had liked me now because I was
133. 5:5140 I kind of when you turn 40 if you're
134. 5:55not 40 yet it's kind of like moving into
135. 5:57a bit of a new era. Um there's just like
136. 6:02changes like world changes with me
137. 6:04anyway like hormonal changes and um my
138. 6:08skin was changing a bit and stuff. So I
139. 6:11was just kind of aware of this. So
140. 6:13putting yourself out there to date um
141. 6:16and the potential for rejection and
142. 6:18things like that is hard enough
143. 6:21but starting to go through physical
144. 6:24changes as well like changes in the way
145. 6:25that you look um can kind of add to
146. 6:28that. It did for me anyway. It was
147. 6:31something that was on my mind. Like when
148. 6:33I was um setting up the profiles, I
149. 6:36remember just being like, "What if no
150. 6:37one likes me? Like am I too like over
151. 6:40the hill to be doing this? I didn't know
152. 6:42whether like people did this at this
153. 6:45age." I don't know if that's sort of a
154. 6:46weird thing to think, but it definitely
155. 6:48crossed my mind. Um and I was like, I
156. 6:51don't want to just get flat out rejected
157. 6:53and just end up feeling awful about
158. 6:55myself. like I really wasn't sure what
159. 6:58the situation was going to be. So, I was
160. 7:00kind of nervous stepping into it. Um,
161. 7:02and nervous for how it might make me
162. 7:04feel. I didn't want my confidence to get
163. 7:06knocked down anymore. Like, I'd had
164. 7:08enough knocks. Anyway, scrolling through
165. 7:12the likes this one evening, I remember
166. 7:14feeling pretty disheartened at the time
167. 7:16cuz I was like, "This isn't going to
168. 7:17work either. um everyone that I'm
169. 7:19talking to I'm just not interested
170. 7:22enough in to you know get dressed and go
171. 7:24on a date and look forward to it.
172. 7:27Scrolling through this guy has liked me.
173. 7:30Um I had a quick look at him. He was
174. 7:32cute but his age was too he was 34. Um,
175. 7:37and I was like, like I'm already kind of
176. 7:39focused on my age. And I was like, could
177. 7:42somebody six years younger than me be
178. 7:44emotionally mature enough to um show up
179. 7:47the way that I want them to show up? And
180. 7:50so I was like, ah, he's probably too
181. 7:52young. And my thumb was like hovering
182. 7:54over the X. Like I was so close to being
183. 7:57like, no match. But he looks so
184. 7:59gorgeous. I was like, you know what?
185. 8:01I'll just have a little look at his
186. 8:02profile. I'll just have a little look.
187. 8:03So scrolling through his profile and it
188. 8:06said that he was ex army that he'd been
189. 8:08in the army for 8 years and I thought
190. 8:11you know what that kind of life
191. 8:13experience could give somebody maturity
192. 8:16beyond their years so I'll give him a
193. 8:18shot. [laughter]
194. 8:20So I matched with him um and we got
195. 8:23along so well like the spark was there
196. 8:26instantly which was so much fun. After
197. 8:29all this time, um, I finally had someone
198. 8:33where the conversation was just flowing.
199. 8:36Like we had these huge messages just one
200. 8:38after the other. We seemed to have the
201. 8:40same sense of humor. Um, and I was
202. 8:43really enjoying the conversation. And he
203. 8:46locked in a date really quickly, which I
204. 8:49loved. Um, he seemed just as keen as me.
205. 8:54So he locks in this date. It was like a
206. 8:56Wednesday night. Um, I picked the venue
207. 9:00because I wanted something with like a
208. 9:01nice vibe, a nice mood lighting. Um, no
209. 9:06harsh lights. [laughter]
210. 9:08Um, so I'd picked the venue and then we
211. 9:11set a time and I had I remember I bought
212. 9:15went out and bought a new top. Like I
213. 9:17wanted to look nice. This was like a big
214. 9:19deal to me because even though a lot of
215. 9:21people like on these apps they just go
216. 9:23on date after date after date and it's
217. 9:25so common to them. This was just huge to
218. 9:27me. Like I was 40 years old. This was my
219. 9:30first date ever. Like I wasn't even sure
220. 9:34like how I was going to go. I didn't
221. 9:36know who this guy was going to be. Um I
222. 9:38didn't know what situation I was showing
223. 9:40up to. I knew I wouldn't be able to
224. 9:42handle like heavy rejection. Like what
225. 9:45if he saw me and left? I was just like I
226. 9:49was just nervous. So I'd set up this
227. 9:51date. Um I went and bought a new top.
228. 9:54this really cute little top. Um, wore a
229. 9:57really cute outfit. But I remember when
230. 9:59I was getting dressed, now I'm somebody
231. 10:00who's very anxious. Anxiety will just
232. 10:03like it just gets momentum with me and
233. 10:06it just grows and grows and grows. And I
234. 10:08was so anxious and everything was going
235. 10:10wrong. While I was getting ready, I'd
236. 10:11had this gorgeous outfit picked out. Um,
237. 10:14but as I was getting ready, I was like,
238. 10:16"Oh, I hate the outfit. I look terrible.
239. 10:18This is just an anxious mind." Um, and I
240. 10:21just felt like I looked awful and I was
241. 10:24just like, I'm gonna cancel. Like, I
242. 10:26just cannot do this. This is too much.
243. 10:29I'm too nervous and it's gonna go wrong
244. 10:31and I hate how I look. But I had my um
245. 10:34daughter who was 17 at the time, no, 16.
246. 10:38She was with me and she was like, "Mom,
247. 10:40just go. Like, just go." So, I was late.
248. 10:45Um, yeah. So, I was late. I was like 5
249. 10:47or 10 minutes late and I was oh my gosh
250. 10:49I was so close to cancelling cuz I was
251. 10:52just like this is going to be
252. 10:53horrendous. Anyway, I got there. I feel
253. 10:57like this is like a scene from a movie.
254. 10:59It was so beautiful. Um I got there. I
255. 11:02parked. I was so nervous and I walked
256. 11:06up. So we went to this like bar um this
257. 11:09gorgeous bar and there was this little
258. 11:12ramp near it. And I'm walking up and I
259. 11:15saw him. Oh, his back was turned to me.
260. 11:19Um, and I was like,
261. 11:23he looks good. Um, and he turned around
262. 11:26and he was so nicely dressed. He had
263. 11:29this like crisp white long sleeve button
264. 11:31up on and he had like the sleeves rolled
265. 11:33up a bit. He had like one arm fully
266. 11:36tattooed, which I didn't see in the
267. 11:37pictures, which looked absolutely
268. 11:38gorgeous. Um, he just looked so nice.
269. 11:43Um, and I just really appreciated the
270. 11:46effort that he had put in because I'd
271. 11:48put in effort as well. Um, buying my new
272. 11:51top and trying to dress in a really cute
273. 11:54outfit and stuff. I don't know. I was
274. 11:55just so nervous. Um, and he's turned
275. 11:58around and I was like, "Oh, gorgeous.
276. 12:01What a gorgeous human being." Um, and we
277. 12:04made some jokes about me being late.
278. 12:07[laughter]
279. 12:07I don't know if he was seriously upset
280. 12:09or um but he was very um polite and
281. 12:15really lovely. Um and one thing that I
282. 12:18noticed um I tend to attract men where I
283. 12:22lead all the time. I don't know why, but
284. 12:25I tend to be like the the boss,
285. 12:28[laughter] I guess, but I tend to be the
286. 12:30one that like makes the makes the plans
287. 12:33and stuff like that. Anyway, we walked
288. 12:35into this bar and the guy s it's a
289. 12:38restaurant as well, but we were going to
290. 12:40like sit in the lounge area and the guy
291. 12:43standing at the front was like, "Hi
292. 12:45guys." Um, and I went to say, "Oh, can
293. 12:47we get like a table for two?" Not like
294. 12:50that. I wouldn't say it like that. I
295. 12:51would have been like, "Could we get a
296. 12:52table for two?" Um, and he stepped in
297. 12:58and asked and I was like, "Oh, somebody
298. 13:01that's that can lead and take charge."
299. 13:04Um, I was still so nervous. Like, I was
300. 13:07probably like shaking. Um, and I don't
301. 13:09talk a lot when I'm nervous.
302. 13:12Anyway, so we go up to the bar. I
303. 13:14noticed we were standing I stood like a
304. 13:16meter away from him [laughter]
305. 13:18when we were ordering our drinks. I just
306. 13:20did not know what to do. I would come
307. 13:22across as somebody so awkward. But
308. 13:24anyway, he was great. He was trying to
309. 13:27make me feel more comfortable just
310. 13:29asking questions and he had a beautiful
311. 13:31smile and a really warm um like energy.
312. 13:35I felt comfortable with him. Anyway, we
313. 13:38sat down on the lounge to have our drink
314. 13:41and it just went so well. Um we just got
315. 13:44along really, really well. He was really
316. 13:46easy to talk to and I was like, "Love
317. 13:48this. so happy I went on a dating app.
318. 13:52Um, so with him then we kind of we went
319. 13:57on a few dates. Um, and things got like
320. 13:59things moved kind of quick. Um, and then
321. 14:02they ended. Um, and I was really upset.
322. 14:06Um, like it really upset me cuz I really
323. 14:08liked him. Um, and I know he really
324. 14:10liked me as well. And then he came back
325. 14:12like 2 weeks later and then we did this
326. 14:15off and on thing for a while. I think we
327. 14:18did it like four or five times. This
328. 14:20like we would go back in and then go
329. 14:21back out. So, it ended up not working.
330. 14:25But moral of the story [laughter]
331. 14:29is this. I think that online dating, if
332. 14:33anyone is considering it, is well worth
333. 14:37it. Um, especially if you are like me,
334. 14:4040 years old, maybe you're dating for
335. 14:42the first time or you've come through a
336. 14:44divorce and maybe considering going on
337. 14:47um the dating apps. I would recommend
338. 14:49it. Um, I then after I went on a date
339. 14:52with this guy, I was like, do you know
340. 14:55what? These guys are great. There's some
341. 14:58really great guys out there. And it
342. 14:59really gave me the motivation to go on
343. 15:02more dates. Over the following two
344. 15:05years, however,
345. 15:07I went on a lot of dates. Like, I really
346. 15:10because I really do want a companion.
347. 15:12Um, so I was like, I need to open myself
348. 15:17up to um these offers of going for
349. 15:20coffee or going for a walk or whatever.
350. 15:23So, I did. Um, I don't know how many
351. 15:26dates I went on. I'm going to go up to
352. 15:29let's say in the I wouldn't say
353. 15:31hundreds, but I was putting in the
354. 15:34effort. Like at at one point I was doing
355. 15:37like three I would go on like three
356. 15:38dates a week. When I say effort, there's
357. 15:41so much effort involved. Like you've got
358. 15:43to go through the talking stage first.
359. 15:45Um with the guy and then you they ask
360. 15:50you out and then when they ask you out
361. 15:53there's a lot of effort involved for a
362. 15:55woman like we have to get ready. We
363. 15:57don't have to get ready, but we tend to
364. 15:58get ready. I'll wash my hair. I've got a
365. 16:01lot of hair. It takes a long time. Put
366. 16:03your makeup on, find a nice outfit.
367. 16:05There's really like I feel like there's
368. 16:08a lot of effort involved. Um, and I got
369. 16:10to the point so I did that for 2 years.
370. 16:13Um, I met some great people. Some I like
371. 16:17I went into some not relationships, but
372. 16:19I would be dating somebody um
373. 16:21exclusively for a few months. Um, that
374. 16:24was like the most I got out of it. Met
375. 16:27some great people.
376. 16:29But the biggest thing that I got out of
377. 16:31it is what I learned about myself and
378. 16:36about men. Who I am now compared to who
379. 16:39I was 2 years ago in regards to dating,
380. 16:42love, relationships, and men is like
381. 16:44they are like worlds apart. I learned so
382. 16:47much in this time. I learned first of
383. 16:50all, let's go for the self. I did not
384. 16:54know how to um say what I wanted, which
385. 16:58now seems bizarre, but I I was like,
386. 17:01it's like I was too shy. I didn't want
387. 17:03to scare anyone off by being like um
388. 17:06these are the things I want in a
389. 17:08relationship
390. 17:09or even that I want a relationship. I
391. 17:12was just like um I don't know. It was
392. 17:15like I was like, well, whatever you want
393. 17:16is fine. like such a people pleaser. But
394. 17:19then as I started to go on these dates,
395. 17:22I got better and better and better at um
396. 17:25just being clear about what I wanted um
397. 17:27because I didn't want to waste my time
398. 17:29or anybody else's time. So I got really
399. 17:32good at saying what I wanted, but I also
400. 17:36got really clear on what I wanted. So,
401. 17:38instead of just being like, I just want
402. 17:40a great guy, um, as I was going on all
403. 17:44of these dates, I was recognizing things
404. 17:46that I don't want and getting really
405. 17:48clear on that and getting very clear on
406. 17:51what I definitely do want. I also
407. 17:53learned a lot about men because I'd only
408. 17:56been with that one guy for that really
409. 17:59huge amount of time. He was all I knew
410. 18:03of like male behavior and then the
411. 18:06situationship that I went into for 2
412. 18:08years that taught me a lot as well. Um
413. 18:11but it was just those two men for say 20
414. 18:13years. So when I started dating, oh my
415. 18:17gosh, I was so clueless. I was so
416. 18:20clueless. When I look back now, like I
417. 18:23didn't know that guys had rosters of
418. 18:24women. I didn't know how to recognize
419. 18:26all these things. I didn't know what
420. 18:28breadcrumbming was. I knew nothing. So,
421. 18:33by putting myself out there, I just
422. 18:36learned so much. And although the
423. 18:39process itself wasn't that fun, like I'm
424. 18:42getting back from dates and I'm like,
425. 18:43"Oh my gosh, this is horrendous."
426. 18:46But now, now when I look back, I am so
427. 18:51grateful that I did it because I I now
428. 18:54feel like if I met somebody who I really
429. 18:57liked, I'm ready because I have been
430. 19:02through all of this. I understand so
431. 19:04much more. I'm so clear. I am so clear
432. 19:07on what I do and don't want. And I will
433. 19:10not budge on that. Like, I just will
434. 19:14not. So, I know for sure what I want and
435. 19:16I feel like that 2 years on the dating
436. 19:19apps was so necessary. I haven't I um
437. 19:24deleted my profiles a couple of months
438. 19:27ago um because I just got to a point
439. 19:30where I was like, "Okay, I feel like
440. 19:32I've learned so much. I feel like I've
441. 19:33gotten to a great level." Um and the
442. 19:37dates that I was going on just felt like
443. 19:39a waste of time. Um, it just, yeah, I
444. 19:43just couldn't do one more talking stage.
445. 19:46I couldn't answer the questions again. I
446. 19:49couldn't get put in the effort to get
447. 19:51dressed to spend time with somebody who
448. 19:53cuz I kept showing up to these dates and
449. 19:56realizing very quickly that I didn't
450. 19:58want to spend time with this person, but
451. 20:00you kind of stuck with them. I suppose
452. 20:03you could just say no, sorry, and leave,
453. 20:05but I didn't want to do that to anyone.
454. 20:07So, um, I definitely for anybody that's
455. 20:12thinking of it, especially anyone that's
456. 20:14come out of a long-term relationship
457. 20:16like I did, I would highly recommend
458. 20:21going on a dating app. And I'll share
459. 20:23some of the stories of some of the guys
460. 20:26that I dated. Um, and some of the funny
461. 20:29things like it is really amusing when
462. 20:32you put yourself out there and do this.
463. 20:34Um, so I'll share some of that as I
464. 20:37unpack this on this platform or unpack
465. 20:40this topic on this platform. But I would
466. 20:42really encourage it. Um, and especially
467. 20:45at this age, I think if I hadn't have
468. 20:49done it and if I had have stayed with
469. 20:51this thought or idea that um, I can't do
470. 20:54that because I'm 40 and that's only for
471. 20:56people in their 20s. I don't know why I
472. 20:58was thinking that. Like now I'd be like,
473. 21:00I don't care if I'm 65 or 75. I'm
474. 21:04getting out there because it's fun. Um,
475. 21:07and you do learn a lot. So, I would
476. 21:10definitely encourage people to do it. I
477. 21:12might go back on. I just needed to take
478. 21:14a break.
479. 21:16But I feel like the amount that you
480. 21:19learn about yourself and about men,
481. 21:22especially if you've been in a long-term
482. 21:23relationship, if you're just divorced,
483. 21:26um, or if you've been in a long-term
484. 21:30relationship and just had one or two
485. 21:32experiences with men, it's so valuable
486. 21:35to get out there and get in contact with
487. 21:37all this different male energy um, and
488. 21:40start to understand their behavior. I
489. 21:42like I've become so curious about their
490. 21:45behavior. On this channel, I'm going to
491. 21:46be interviewing lots of men because I
492. 21:49love to now get into the mind of a man
493. 21:52um and how they are feeling about dating
494. 21:55women and the experiences that they are
495. 21:57having and how they feel about what
496. 21:59we're doing. It's all so interesting.
497. 22:02So, I'm really going to unpack it on
498. 22:04this channel because um it can be it
499. 22:07just plays such a big role in your life
500. 22:09if you get out there into the dating
501. 22:11world. You're facing rejection, right?
502. 22:14Like that is you you are bold and brave
503. 22:18if you get out there because that
504. 22:21potential for rejection is real. Um and
505. 22:24it happens. It has to happen like it
506. 22:26actually has to happen a lot because the
507. 22:29meeting somebody meeting somebody else
508. 22:32and like you both liking each other is
509. 22:35quite rare. I think that's what I found
510. 22:38anyway. So someone's always going to be
511. 22:41getting rejected and sometimes it's you
512. 22:43[laughter] and it's hard to cope with
513. 22:46but you do get good at it. Um you get
514. 22:49more resilient. So that's something
515. 22:51that's really good as well. like you get
516. 22:53to really you get to really learn a lot
517. 22:56about yourself. So, um I will
518. 22:59[clears throat] unpack a lot of my
519. 23:01dating stories just because they're fun
520. 23:03and funny. Um and I will do lots of
521. 23:08interviews on this channel as well
522. 23:10because I really think that this is such
523. 23:13an interesting topic and when you're in
524. 23:14it, it's so consuming for your life. So,
525. 23:18I cannot wait to unpack this more. Um,
526. 23:21but this is my starter video. Hope you
527. 23:24enjoyed it. Make sure you subscribe to
528. 23:26the channel so that you don't miss any
529. 23:27of my videos and make sure that you
530. 23:29subscribe to my email list because I
531. 23:31send out an email once a week with all
532. 23:34of the fun things that I'm doing and all
533. 23:36of the fun things that are coming up. I
534. 23:38would love to hear from you. So, I I
535. 23:42really want to find a platform where we
536. 23:43can actually share videos with each
537. 23:45other because I would love to hear other
538. 23:47people's um experiences with this stuff,
539. 23:51especially people that were in a
540. 23:52long-term relationship and then started
541. 23:54dating um or people over 40 because um I
542. 23:58feel like it's a really particular
543. 24:00experience for some people. Like, it's
544. 24:02different if you've been dating like all
545. 24:04through your 20s and 30s. It's different
546. 24:06cuz you kind of know it. So, I would
547. 24:10love to love to love to hear other
548. 24:12people's experiences. Um, if we can find
549. 24:14a way to share that or if you can share
550. 24:16it in the comments, that would be
551. 24:18amazing. My name is Jess. That's
552. 24:21everything I know about relationships,
553. 24:23love, and dating. And I cannot wait to
554. 24:26connect with you further.