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DARVO'D | The Regz w/ Shane Gillis, Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, and Luis J. Gomez Ep #67 — Transcript

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0:00Fill her up.
0:02>> You're listening to the Gas Digital
0:04Network.
0:24What's up everybody? We're back. It's
0:26the Regs. We got Dan Soda, Lewis, Jay
0:29Gomez, we got Bobby Kelly, and special
0:32guest sitting in for Joe List who's up
0:34in Maine with his family. Shane Gillis
0:37is here.
0:37>> Wow. Hey,
0:38>> first time, first time we've ever had a
0:39guest. We've had him before. He's been
0:41on twice, you know.
0:43>> Also, I might be your top listener.
0:45>> Yeah. You love the show. You love the
0:47>> I listen to the rags all the time.
0:48>> Yeah. Uh, well,
0:50>> I can fill in for this. Nice.
0:51>> You got We also have a tiny man.
0:52>> Oh, big
0:54>> honestly. first and I and he'll never
0:57he'll do list jokes the whole show just
0:59puns and
1:00>> puns and blink a lot.
1:02>> His Chinese accent was already and Joe
1:04will never watch this so he'll never
1:05hear this.
1:06>> He'll definitely watch this.
1:07>> You think he's watching with those
1:09marbles in his hand?
1:09>> He's sad he's not here. 100% he's sad
1:11he's not here.
1:12>> He's like Yeah,
1:13>> he's up.
1:13>> No, he's not. He's leaving us. Wait,
1:16hold on.
1:16>> Texas.
1:17>> Let me Hold on, guys. Paco called me and
1:20he was like, we got He really did. He
1:22had the thing. He was like, "We got to
1:23stop talking about the same thing over
1:24and over again on the show." He was
1:26like, "Dude, dude, it's this is what
1:27people don't understand is this podcast
1:29is actually MK Ultra.
1:31>> We're just doing play college football."
1:36>> And what we do is we It's called a
1:38soothing technique.
1:38>> Yeah. What? We're not smart. We talk
1:40about the same things over and over.
1:42>> I'll be honest. I'll put on an episode
1:43cuz it'll just be Spotify random. It'll
1:45be from like two years ago.
1:47>> Same thing.
1:48>> Whose dick would you say? It take 2
1:49hours for me to be like, "Oh, this was
1:53>> so old."
1:53>> Oh, man. Oh, they're still talking about
1:55the movie. It's not even Skank Fest
1:57movie hasn't even been thought of, but
1:58we're still talking about it.
1:59>> Paco suggested, and I I agree with this.
2:01I appreciate Paco because none of the
2:02other [ __ ] producers are are putting
2:04any initiative in.
2:05>> You mean the guys are doing all the work
2:06while Paco gets coffee?
2:08>> Do you think you think these guys do
2:09more work than Paco?
2:10>> I would show
2:12>> I would argue
2:13>> during the show is not a hard thing.
2:14It's post-production is the hard thing.
2:16>> Switching cameras, setting it up,
2:18>> click the lights where they got cameras
2:20where they got
2:20>> it's a podcast studio. First of all, why
2:21do they have to break down the
2:22>> different podcast come in here and they
2:24have to change the cameras? What? What
2:26do you mean it makes what the [ __ ]
2:28sense? So every show comes in because
2:30you gnome I said it gnome comes in he
2:35lays down the [ __ ] Israeli hammer and
2:38has to [ __ ] change the camera angles.
2:40This should just
2:41not make any sense that you just went
2:44he's so Jewish you have to change the
2:46camera angles. That's like a because he
2:49owns everything.
2:50>> Yeah. Yes. That's the bank.
2:51>> No, he wasn't. Did you see how lost he
2:52was on that?
2:54>> He was just reaching for [ __ ] He was
2:55like, and then you got known coming in
2:57here and there's carpet cuz the Jewish
3:00people.
3:03>> Yeah. You came in tan. You've been
3:06sucked. You've been sucked in [ __ ] too
3:08recently. No way.
3:09>> And I like the beard.
3:12>> It's the gray.
3:13>> Yeah, I'm gray as [ __ ] I'm
3:15>> Where'd you go?
3:15>> Him is Gandalf is great.
3:18Froto out there.
3:19>> He goes, he goes, "Froto, you're a gay
3:21wad. You shall not pass."
3:24>> Don't wear a ring, [ __ ]
3:27>> You guys, you [ __ ]
3:29>> You guys eat two breakfastes, fat [ __ ]
3:33>> Yeah. You're coming back from an island
3:34where you
3:35>> You [ __ ] know the Lord of the Rings.
3:37>> That was in Mexico.
3:38>> Okay.
3:39>> Well, you seeing relatives?
3:41>> Yeah. No, a little business.
3:42>> What were you doing?
3:43>> Linking up with the cartel for a [ __ ]
3:45test.
3:47body tastes like [ __ ]
3:49>> He said with the Sola cartel and they
3:51go,
3:52>> see,
3:55>> I don't want to go to Mexico for
3:56gangfest.
3:57>> Uh, we're not.
3:59>> Oh, good.
3:59>> We know where nothing
4:02>> you know where you're going.
4:03>> You know where we're going.
4:05>> Where you going?
4:05>> We're not going anywhere. Buy your
4:07tickets for Skankfest in New Orleans.
4:09>> Oh, yeah. Where's the next one?
4:10>> I will say a good commercial.
4:11>> It's a cruise. I'll kill you.
4:13>> I will. I I this that will I will not
4:15go. Yeah,
4:16>> I know. I say this every skank.
4:18>> I think what's your problem? What's your
4:19problem with cruise?
4:20>> Cruise would lose a lot of people.
4:21>> I'm never going on a cruise. Cruise
4:23problem with cruise.
4:24>> Cruise lose a lot of people.
4:26>> Cruise lose me. Crazy.
4:27>> Cruise lose me. Cruz lose me.
4:29>> Called the loose cruise. Lose cruise.
4:31>> Lose Dan. Lucane.
4:33>> A [ __ ] cruise with the skanks fans.
4:36>> Oh my god.
4:38>> You'll [ __ ] You'll get [ __ ] sick.
4:40>> It'll be a new It'll be a new virus.
4:41We're going to have to stay at sea.
4:43They're going to have to quarantine that
4:45[ __ ]
4:45>> They have to send like they have to send
4:47you on a raft to an island.
4:48>> Yeah. The skanks fans give rats
4:49diseases.
4:50>> The only ship that ran out of food.
4:53>> We can't trace who bit who.
4:56>> We give the rats virus.
5:00>> The rats lost that.
5:03>> Yeah. You do a cruise, you're going to
5:04lose you're going to lose about quarter
5:05of your time.
5:06>> Nobody's going. Do not do it.
5:07>> Let me Let me just No, it's a cruise.
5:10It's 100% a cruise.
5:12>> Edit. No. No. You can't edit out the
5:14fun.
5:15>> There's no cruise. There's no
5:16>> There's no edits. YOU DON'T EDIT THE
5:17SHOW.
5:17>> NO EDIT. DO THE INTRO.
5:19>> No directions, no topics, no edits.
5:21>> I'll go on the cruise if it's through
5:22the straight of Hormuz. Skankst live
5:26from the straight of Hormuz.
5:27>> It's not so great.
5:29>> That's so great. Just a guy going, I'm
5:31going to shoot him. He's on one of those
5:32headsets from the [ __ ] the top.
5:35>> Do you want me to take it out?
5:37>> Pirates.
5:38>> So, you do a hormuz cruise. I would do
5:39the Hormuz cruise.
5:40>> Hormuse cruise would be kind of
5:41>> We wouldn't lose him on the hormuz
5:42cruise, but we lose
5:43>> whatever this is. Joe's not here to bail
5:45you out.
5:46>> Shred lightly, [ __ ]
5:48>> Who wants to watch Blues Clues?
5:50>> You and Joe's little nursery rhymes
5:52don't [ __ ] work when he's not here.
5:56>> Is it a cruise?
5:56>> It's not a cruise.
5:57>> Yeah, it's a cruise.
5:58>> No, you give me your money and I'll go
6:00get some.
6:01>> And I mean this And I mean this. I swear
6:04on Max Kelly's life.
6:08I swear I'm Max. May Max Max Kelly die a
6:13horrific violent sexual death.
6:15>> Let me tell you what Lewis is doing.
6:16>> Yeah, I know what he's doing
6:17>> cuz Lewis has CEO brain.
6:18>> Lewis
6:20saw the clip that the clip did well of
6:22when he wished blood cancer on Marty
6:25list.
6:25>> Oh, you think he's trying to He's cliff
6:27farming.
6:27>> Yeah,
6:28>> he's cliff farming.
6:29>> Louis is cliff farming.
6:30>> He's cliff farming.
6:30>> And now he's wishing death upon your
6:32boy. But here's the thing. This is why I
6:34stay this is why I stay childhood. You
6:36can't [ __ ] hit me. What a dog. I'm
6:38going to get a new one eventually
6:39anyways.
6:39>> Yeah, right. Myrtle, you would
6:41>> You lose your mind, dude. Myrtle got
6:43blood cancer. But I tell you like this.
6:45>> I'd ask on Nightshade.
6:47>> I'd cry like this.
6:49>> I'd cry like that.
6:52>> But I know what you're doing. You're
6:53clip for me.
6:53>> No, not so we're not It's not going to
6:56be a cruise. You promise? Promise you. I
6:57swear to you, it's not a cruise. We're
6:58doing it on land. We We talked about
6:59doing a cruise. If we did a cruise, we
7:01would do uh a a cruise called
7:04>> Podcast Away. It'll be a bunch of
7:06podcasts on a cruise. Podcast away.
7:09>> Why? What?
7:13>> It's just an empty boat.
7:19>> Podcast away.
7:20>> Oh, [ __ ] you. If that got to the poster
7:22stage, I would want everyone dead.
7:24>> Do you remember when you remember when
7:26you wanted to have a club?
7:28>> Visibly uncomfortable with that.
7:30>> Sucks.
7:31>> Remember when you wanted to buy a comedy
7:32club and you wanted 24-hour podcasting?
7:34It wasn't. You don't remember anything.
7:36You just said things in that. You just
7:37say things. So, yeah. Yeah. Do you
7:39remember when you wanted to buy a
7:40[ __ ] castle and have it filled with
7:42[ __ ] I do used condoms? Remember
7:44that?
7:45>> Yeah. When was this? That sounds great.
7:47>> No, you wanted to have was it a podcast?
7:49>> It was No, it was it was before live
7:50podcasting was the thing. Legion skanks
7:52was the only live podcast at the time
7:53when before Gas started. What?
7:55>> We started 10 years ago. There was no
7:57live podcast, meaning in front of an
7:59audience.
7:59>> Oh, I I did it. No,
8:01>> you did like a one-off. I did [ __ ]
8:03like six a year. You were part of them.
8:05>> No, no. I'm saying we made it a weekly
8:07live show. It's not always a
8:08competition.
8:09>> Sometimes very competitive.
8:11>> That's honest. And I like the honesty of
8:13that.
8:13>> We're men. Sometimes most of the time
8:15it's competitive.
8:16>> You guys should get a little more
8:17competitive.
8:18>> So yeah,
8:19>> we fight we fight each other.
8:20>> I would like that.
8:21>> So no, it was going to be
8:23>> that would make me very happy.
8:24>> By the way, gas the the the origin of
8:25gas digital was it was originally the
8:27original plan and
8:28>> was to work. It was
8:31>> It was
8:32>> That's [ __ ] up. That's funny.
8:33>> [ __ ] you. That's funny.
8:34>> It was called The Pod and it was a live
8:38podcasting venue. So you it would be in
8:40the round. There'd be a table in the
8:42round. The audience sits around you.
8:44>> Everyone would have headphones in the
8:45audience. So if you go to the bathroom,
8:46you're still listening. You hear like
8:48what everyone else hears. It would be
8:49like a podcasting experience.
8:51>> A restaurant. And then they bring you
8:53food while you go, "Hold on. Can you
8:55bring me some chili fries during the ad?
8:57>> Can you give the bomb bandana for an
8:59idea?
9:01>> We're going to retroactivate that for
9:03your
9:04>> What the [ __ ]
9:04>> And then you guys,
9:05>> it was a 24-hour podcast. No, it was a
9:07live podcasting venue.
9:08>> How often? And just people just come in
9:10off the street and go,
9:11>> I'm see this podcast.
9:15>> Could you book your own podcast?
9:16>> I'd barely, hey, Jerry Seinfeld's doing
9:18his podcast in there.
9:20>> Open mic podcasting would be
9:22>> a thing.
9:22>> That'd be fun.
9:23>> Let me tell you. You can do a lot of
9:24fun.
9:24>> Put four random people together.
9:26>> This is how This is how he would bury
9:28Gordon.
9:30>> We should do it in the park right now as
9:31a guest digital show.
9:32>> We should do it on the rags next time.
9:33>> He will turn none of us show up. None of
9:35us show up.
9:36>> He's going to be like a record exec from
9:37the 50s and own the rights for all these
9:39people. Cuz he just went to the park and
9:40was like, "Hey, can you podcast talk
9:42into this? I own all your masters.
9:45>> Can we do that one rags episode? We all
9:47pick our own random co-host random
9:49person to fill in for us and it it has
9:52to be an open mic
9:53>> and they talk about the same thing
9:54>> and they no they do it
9:57>> they come on there and they go
9:58>> no they just
9:59>> hey I heard you're making a documentary
10:01>> they just show up and they have to fill
10:02in for us but it can't be a [ __ ] it
10:05has to be an open micer that nobody
10:07knows. It can't be like you know his the
10:10new guy coming up. You can't get like
10:12Tristan or somebody. You got to get like
10:13a [ __ ] no. Are you talking about
10:15going to an open mic or
10:16>> shout out bowling opening up for me this
10:18weekend rules. Are you talking about
10:20going to just the park and grabbing
10:22somebody or
10:22>> No, not like a random person
10:24>> cuz that's more fun.
10:25>> Yeah.
10:25>> Who and I mean this who
10:27>> just get one of those old chess guys.
10:29>> Yeah. I was immediately I was thinking
10:31>> Yeah. Just get four bums.
10:33>> It' be a great podcast.
10:34>> That would be amazing.
10:35>> Four homeless guys
10:36>> just going like [ __ ] you man. They start
10:38tearing at the walls.
10:39>> Well, what's going What happened?
10:40>> Oh, who's this man?
10:41>> Who the [ __ ] is this? That's my uh
10:44>> That's his assistant.
10:45>> It's my new assistant.
10:46>> You know, you don't you didn't fire Hot
10:47Grace. Impossible.
10:48>> Hot Grace.
10:49>> Hot Grace. I call her in my dreams when
10:51I sleep.
10:52>> Your new Grace. I'll punch you right in
10:54your [ __ ] mouth, dude.
10:55>> Well, truth on you. He's actually He
10:57knows Krav Magaw and BJJ.
10:59>> Oh, you're Jewish. Oo. Gnome sent you,
11:01didn't he?
11:02>> He's watching you.
11:03>> He knows. He gives good [ __ ]
11:05>> No, you fired the other guy.
11:06>> What? What other guy?
11:08>> They told me you fired a guy at uh
11:10something. Did
11:10>> you fire Hemorrhage?
11:11>> Probably this week.
11:11>> Hemorrhage. Yeah. H Well, hammer we
11:13didn't get fired. He lost the the spring
11:15turn Olympics.
11:16>> So then just somebody else gets it.
11:18>> Is this Who is he?
11:19>> No, I just brought in coffee.
11:21>> Who the [ __ ] are you?
11:22>> My name's Nolan.
11:23>> I'm with the IRS.
11:27>> Shut it down.
11:28>> You've been served, [ __ ]
11:31>> GET THE BODY COFFEE ADDED REAL QUICK.
11:33>> HEY, SORRY. THEY'RE TAKING ME AWAY.
11:35My assets in Jamaica don't count.
11:40>> He He 100% has a bank in Jamaica. I
11:43don't have a Swiss bank again. I go to
11:45get a Jamaican bank again.
11:47>> We We spent all that money years ago. We
11:51all pulling back coming down here to get
11:54[ __ ] in.
11:56They bringing girls down here, [ __ ]
11:58them, sucking them. You do do that a
12:02lot.
12:03He does it so much that if it did
12:05happen, you go right under our nose.
12:07Right under our [ __ ]
12:08>> Yeah, you're tan right now. What's good?
12:10Were you Were you stuck in a [ __ ]
12:12south of the border again?
12:14>> Well, I'm a little Mexico. I got a pool,
12:15too. I'm in my backyard every
12:16>> Oh, dude. I can't wait for your eventual
12:18erotic set of novels describing all of
12:20your trips of lust and lure.
12:23>> Yeah.
12:24>> And eating tropical fruit.
12:25>> And then I gained 40 lbs every trip.
12:28>> No, I didn't. I did. You look good. You
12:30look good.
12:30>> I worked out. I was in Mexico for 4
12:32days. I worked out every single morning.
12:36>> You said you gained 40 lbs. No, you look
12:37good.
12:38>> He looks good right now. But you most
12:40>> No, no. I've come back. I I was nervous
12:42about this one because I go on vacation
12:44and then I'm like a mess. This time,
12:46dude, it was [ __ ] First of all, it's
12:48all inclusive resort, which stinks.
12:49>> Yeah, but you have to talk to her like
12:51you're a werewolf. You go, "Hey, you're
12:53going to see some stuff down there. I'm
12:55going to change in front of your eyes."
12:57>> You grub so hard that you gain how much
12:59weight? I mean, I've gained 30, 40
13:01pounds.
13:02>> By the end of that trip, the sex you're
13:04having must be.
13:05>> Dude, I'm hold my I'm holding my
13:07[ __ ] I have to [ __ ] always. So, I'm
13:10just holding my ass
13:12on his side with his belly,
13:16>> dude. They're It looks like first day
13:18they're getting clapped by the pool boy.
13:20On the last day, it's like the guy that
13:21owns the house that sends him on trips.
13:25You guys Oh, you like I feel bad for the
13:27girls that have sex with me on vacation,
13:29dude. It's literally it's a different
13:31person by the last day.
13:32>> God knows what you've been doing to
13:34them.
13:34>> Sweating on them and they go the trip
13:38wasn't it wasn't all incredible.
13:39Sometimes I'll look at a girl.
13:41>> That's why he has to get a new girl all
13:42the time.
13:43>> I'll look at a girl and she's [ __ ] me
13:44and I just feel I start sweating on her.
13:46I like I'll sweat and like it'll drip
13:47down my nose onto her face. That's a
13:49move that I would use in jiu-jitsu to to
13:51finish guys off.
13:52>> What you what?
13:55>> Whoa. You're making a pump.
13:58Yeah.
13:58>> Oh, you're pretty good at jiu-jitsu,
14:00Louis. He goes, "Hey, got this right
14:01here. This right here is called single
14:03hand."
14:06Oh. Oh, buddy.
14:07>> Hey, oh [ __ ] Mr. You make me [ __ ]
14:10pop.
14:12>> Brazilian guy, dude. Like, oh, Louis.
14:15All right, we got to slow down because
14:16the show's too good without Joe.
14:19>> Oh, dude, he's watching this blinking
14:21his ass. The comments.
14:23>> The comments are going to be brutal to
14:25Joe. He's the reason the show ends. He
14:28slows it down. I feel bad. Joe's
14:30brilliant.
14:31>> Joe comes in with topics.
14:32>> No, he does.
14:33>> He does have good topics.
14:34>> He does. And I also think uh the Protect
14:37Our Parks sent in Shane as a scop.
14:41I think they brought him in to break us
14:42up. They go and go. They were bringing
14:44up information that only some of us were
14:46privy to.
14:47>> We got We got I mean the trade of list
14:49down to Austin.
14:50>> Yeah, it's going to happen.
14:51>> You guys were yapping. You guys were
14:52yapping about Austin a lot. That was a
14:54problem. You know, guys go, "Maybe it's
14:56nice down there." You think we do? You
14:58think it was us talking [ __ ] We were
14:59describing it too much every sunshine
15:01every day.
15:03>> Oh, everyone becomes a millionaire for
15:05[ __ ] two open mics.
15:07>> Everybody has
15:09losers down there. We drove by Mexican
15:11food.
15:12>> I drove by a gas station and uh my kids
15:14all beautiful women and money growing up
15:16in the dream.
15:17>> That's where parties, hot chicks, every
15:18and everybody becomes a millionaire. Oh,
15:20>> and within 6 months, you can defend
15:22yourself perfectly. Yeah, my kid saw uh
15:25he goes, "Is that Tony Hinchcliffe?" And
15:26there's just this smoking brand new
15:28[ __ ] Corvette at a gas station and it
15:30was [ __ ] Tony Hinch. And then Joe had
15:32I think Joe has a Corvette. Everybody
15:34has a [ __ ] sick car in Austin.
15:38Everybody
15:38>> Joe's going to be down there at the
15:40roller waitress.
15:42>> Joe's going to Joe's going to have a
15:43scooter.
15:45>> Like Dumb and Dumber with a helmet.
15:46>> Austin is the [ __ ] They have so many
15:48rooms. They have [ __ ] like you could
15:50do six, seven shows a night in Austin on
15:52like a Wednesday.
15:53>> Oh, you just [ __ ] it. Yeah,
15:55>> I would [ __ ] move to Austin if I was
15:56an
15:57>> We're gonna lose two of you
15:57>> if if I was an anchor to this.
15:59>> Who do we trade him for?
16:01>> We got Shane for
16:02>> Well, I just moved back.
16:03>> Shane's back.
16:04>> Shane for Joe. Literally, we've traded
16:06up at rules. Uh, we love Joe.
16:08>> We are the Sixers with Jaylen Brown. But
16:11>> we go Yeah. I don't know. Aging.
16:13>> Do we trade Bobby? We trade Bobby for
16:15trade. You could trade me for Danny.
16:17>> Yeah.
16:18No. Uh, who you bring bring up for? We
16:20got to bring somebody up from Austin
16:21like uh who would be
16:24>> Oh, you got Cam, too.
16:25>> Cam
16:27New Cam for Bobby would be great, dude.
16:28Little
16:28>> No, we already got Cam. I think
16:30>> Bobby for
16:33D. Roza.
16:35>> D. Roza is a piece of [ __ ] by the way.
16:36>> He is a giant piece.
16:37>> He didn't [ __ ] call me one. I was in
16:39Austin for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
16:41Saturday.
16:41>> And he's a sensitive little [ __ ]
16:43>> He's a sensitive boy.
16:43>> I don't want to even get into it, but
16:45he's a sensitive little [ __ ]
16:46>> Sensitive boy. Just so you guys know,
16:48#Jo Rosa's sense a little [ __ ] Tag it.
16:50Tweet him at tweet it at him. Say Shane
16:51said it. Say Shane said it.
16:53>> I love I do love him.
16:55>> I love him so much. You all love him.
16:56>> Well, he didn't call me like at all.
16:58>> I love him. I love him.
16:58>> He didn't come down the club to say hi.
17:00I thought he was like, "Yeah, I'll come.
17:01I'll pop down. I I'll say hi."
17:03>> That's you being desperate for attention
17:05from
17:05>> Yeah, but he's my I've known him.
17:06>> No, it's crazy. Listen, this is the only
17:08thing. And Joe, we're close friends.
17:09>> Joe's going to call all you. Don't call
17:11me. I didn't say anything. Don't call
17:12me. Lose my number. Delete. Ditch it.
17:16That is messed up. He didn't say what's
17:17up to you.
17:17>> I mean, just come by.
17:19>> Yeah.
17:19>> Where were you?
17:21>> Like 4 days. He was gone for like a
17:22week.
17:22>> Yeah.
17:23>> Wait, when was I there?
17:24>> When? Yeah, you were there. You didn't
17:25[ __ ]
17:27I don't I didn't expect you took
17:28everybody to [ __ ] the concert but me.
17:30You
17:31>> Oh, wait. Oh, was this Oh, yeah. I was
17:33>> You went to go see Kanye.
17:34>> Yeah, I saw Kanye. That's Wednesday,
17:36Thursday. It was the best thing I've
17:37ever seen.
17:37>> It was great. I I don't I Kanye and I,
17:40by the way, I said this publicly when he
17:42was going through all the [ __ ] It was
17:43like all the Nazi [ __ ] all this. I was
17:44like, "He will 100% be back." People
17:47were like, "No way, dude. Not you can't
17:48go against the Jews." I was like, "This
17:50is all just
17:51>> in the ether. He's just making himself
17:52bigger and like he's like
17:54>> But the atmosphere did change against
17:55the Jews over time."
17:57>> That is also true.
17:58>> I mean it I mean Kanye that did.
17:59>> It's kind of what brought him back. I
18:01think
18:01>> damn he's that ahead of the curve.
18:03>> He was because you know what else is
18:04great? Self-driving cars. I go Kanye I
18:07don't want that way. They scare me.
18:10>> I love it.
18:11>> Whimos.
18:11>> I took them the whole time I was there.
18:13Have you seen how many are in San
18:14Francisco? It's crazy. It's like all
18:16just Whimos and people [ __ ] on the
18:18street
18:18>> because the whole time you're in the car
18:20drive by, YOU GO, "LET THAT GUY DRIVE.
18:21HE WON'T SHIT."
18:22>> The whole time you're in the car, you're
18:23like, "Oh." And then you're like, "Oh,
18:24you can talk about whatever whatever you
18:26want. You can say whatever you want cuz
18:27driver
18:29listening, dude. Are you out of your
18:30mind?"
18:31>> They are monitoring.
18:32>> Yeah, but I don't When the guys in the
18:34car,
18:34>> they're categorizing it. It's being put
18:36into [ __ ] some sort of AI thing.
18:37>> Bobby goes, "So what?" I yell Max's
18:39social security number at him. Where's
18:41that going? Yeah, but it's like that you
18:43can be a little
18:44>> You aren't being recorded.
18:45>> You're not being recorded. You hit the
18:46button, it records you. You have to
18:48choose to be recorded.
18:49>> Oh, you sweet country mouse.
18:52>> The fact that you think you sweet, sweet
18:54country.
18:54>> First of all, I've been doing this
18:55podcast for so long. You think recording
18:57what I say in a [ __ ] way is going to
18:59be anything worse than we've talked
19:00about on this show?
19:01>> When Bobby's in them, they're called
19:02ways.
19:04>> The moose.
19:07>> The moose.
19:08>> Yes. Whimos.
19:11>> Whimo. The way is way better.
19:14>> Moose
19:15>> getting out of getting out of the slug
19:16straight to the moose is nuts.
19:18Dunk.
19:19>> I had to buy the outfit.
19:21>> Yeah.
19:22>> Well, he he learned from the slug. He
19:23learned to own. He was like, "All right,
19:25so slug I ignored."
19:28No, the slug I never ignored. I would do
19:30shows and as soon as slug and I would
19:32just sl I would do this. Awesome.
19:34>> I'd be like slugging it on stage.
19:35>> Did I tell you what Shane
19:36>> I embraced the slug. He Shane did a
19:38bully karate move where you were like
19:40that and you like said something. He
19:41goes, "Don't I'll hurt you."
19:43>> Yeah.
19:44>> And then you and then he went like this
19:45like screw you in the jungle
19:49point of death.
19:50>> But I looked at all you three and you
19:51went, "Ah,
19:53>> they master you."
19:55>> It's so easy to get a chance. Skank
19:57this.
19:57>> Yeah.
19:57>> That's all you got to do. Go. I'm going
19:59to call him Slugs. Slugs.
20:01>> Oh, that on a boat.
20:05>> Third world country. Molly pirates are
20:06going to
20:08>> I don't I don't think I want to shing
20:10slug. What is that [ __ ]
20:12>> Let's go to Let's go to the next one.
20:14>> I don't like this one.
20:16>> They have a slug on board.
20:17>> Let's do this Viking cruise. They are
20:19all old people. They have a slug and a
20:21moose.
20:22>> That'll be a ghost ship coming back into
20:24a port. There's a bunch of people
20:25overdosed on fentanyl.
20:27>> It's like [ __ ] Dracula ship. Just
20:29empty crates and dead people.
20:32>> No,
20:32>> but no, it's not a cruise.
20:34>> That's what you're saying, guys.
20:37cruise
20:38>> east coast or west. We have an idea of
20:40what's happening. Gulf of Mexico, but
20:41we're not talking about it yet.
20:42>> Gulf of Mexico.
20:43>> It's obviously Mexico.
20:44>> Yeah, it's easy cruise right out of
20:45town.
20:45>> No one's I'm not going to Mexico.
20:47>> Where will you go, Shane? Is there
20:48anywhere you will go? You go to Vegas.
20:50>> I go to every single one of these
20:51[ __ ] days.
20:52>> The one year you got sick or so.
20:54>> I did get really sick. So you say,
20:56>> by the way, I told this story last night
20:58at dinner with Veio and Katie, but that
21:01moment where you cuz you got sick and
21:03you couldn't come to Skankfest. Do you
21:04remember what Mike Suarez did?
21:06>> What?
21:06>> Oh,
21:07>> where he was
21:08>> [ __ ] hilarious. That was great.
21:10>> He had a tent filled with people. James
21:13Madden was next and he goes
21:15>> Mad Dog was next and he goes, "Ladies
21:16and gentlemen, uh, special guest Shane
21:18Gillis." And they're like, "YEAH."
21:21AND THEN Mad Dog's like, "Why'd you do
21:23that, Bubbas? Why' you do that? Bubbas,
21:25why'd you do that?" And he goes, "I
21:26thought it'd be funny."
21:28>> I think Mad Dog was fired. I'm going to
21:30beat your [ __ ] Yeah, I saw him after
21:32this.
21:33>> I had to talk him. I was right there. I
21:35had to talk him off the [ __ ] He wanted
21:36to beat the [ __ ]
21:37>> I love the [ __ ] got rules rule.
21:42>> Yeah, Suarez. Did Did I say what
21:44happened with Suarez on the boat?
21:46>> What boat?
21:46>> What boats are you going on boats?
21:50>> He's getting [ __ ] and sucked on all
21:51these boats and coasts.
21:53>> So, when we did the gas little trip,
21:54dude, this is [ __ ] great. I can't
21:56believe it didn't never This never made
21:57it back to the regs. Forgetting that
21:59Suarez started on the regs. This should
22:00have been a regional.
22:02>> Bobby brings them all in. scouts him.
22:04>> Paco, you could chime in as well because
22:05you were there and I I I want to just
22:07make sure that I get the story right.
22:09So, we rented a big like u catamaran
22:11like for the whole crew like 20 of us
22:13private catamaran.
22:14>> Shout out James.
22:15>> Shout out James McCain.
22:16>> And then uh
22:18>> who [ __ ] murdered on Story Wars.
22:20>> One of the funniest moments ever.
22:21>> He brought him into our lives and Ari
22:23pulls out Ari pulls out his dick and
22:25then McCann's like, "All right, we're
22:26doing this." He pulls out his dick,
22:28right? And then
22:29>> James,
22:30>> he's just little little red dick. Then
22:32we we listen we do we we go to plugs and
22:35I was like look if you guys want to
22:36watch the show uncensored uncensored and
22:40had frame and guest digital just
22:42subscribe and he was like what
22:46that's so
22:49that's so
22:50>> with all the serious he was like what
22:53the [ __ ] is he doing take his day he
22:55talks about being a Catholic all the
22:56[ __ ] time
22:58>> he was just in the moment it's the
23:00second time he's been in the moment he's
23:02that in a moment in Austin once.
23:04>> It was [ __ ] one of the funniest like
23:06real genuine like
23:09that moment of finding out it's the
23:11>> What did Suarez do?
23:12>> All right, so we're we get this luxury
23:14catamaran um you know they [ __ ] dock
23:16it somewhere and we're like there's a
23:17there's an upper deck you could jump
23:18from and like uh you know like you know
23:20it's like
23:21>> None of you should be doing that.
23:22>> No, no, we're all like it's all [ __ ]
23:23like the shapes of the guest
23:27>> just looks like Circle K employees
23:28fleeing. I mean, Saraphina Sesame Street
23:32is Saraphina. Me and Ralph are weird
23:34shapes. Like, we're all everyone's
23:36weirdly shaped on this group. Saraphina,
23:38I think, has this sick kink where she
23:40just likes being around you guys. And
23:41she's like, I'm a hot chick. And she's
23:42like, look at you doughy pieces of [ __ ]
23:45Dude, I'd [ __ ] Dude, I'd [ __ ]
23:47Anyway, uh she works for me. Crazy.
23:50>> Anyway, so
23:51>> we're going to be care dude I'm telling
23:52you right now, we're going to be
23:52character witnesses. Where's hot Grace
23:54when you need her? Uh, so I hope Grace
23:57assaults you the next time you see her.
23:59>> Let's go, Grace.
24:00>> Grace rules.
24:01>> Smack me in the face. Spin my mouth.
24:03>> Um,
24:03>> what? Not
24:04>> Bobby. Reel him in.
24:07>> Mike Suarez.
24:10>> What is that?
24:14>> I'm going to weigh him.
24:16>> Is that a fish?
24:17>> Yeah, I was doing a fish, dude.
24:18>> Why?
24:19>> You get silly, Lewis on the ranks, which
24:21is a very, veryity.
24:22>> True. Anytime I do skanks, I come in
24:25late and he's like
24:27I'm like
24:28>> cr him out to be fine.
24:29>> [ __ ] up you. He's like [ __ ] up.
24:34>> We're going to watch you in like a bad
24:35mood. Yeah, I got that [ __ ] [ __ ]
24:37going on.
24:39>> We got videos of executions.
24:41>> [ __ ] Jay. [ __ ] Jay's [ __ ]
24:43pissed me off.
24:45I don't know if Jay told you this. We're
24:46going to do songs to executions.
24:50But the thing is, you have to get an N
24:52word into every line of the song. Also,
24:54we're going to start a chant that's just
24:55the n word.
24:56>> All right. All right. So,
24:57>> my chores,
24:58>> we're we're jumping off this catamaran,
24:59right? And uh you know, we're all doing
25:01our thing. Like there there's no
25:03athletes. Nobody's doing like back flips
25:04or anything crazy.
25:05>> I I I imagining a lot of the sound of
25:08skin sliding off the
25:11>> you know, like fat feet.
25:14>> A lot of feet slipping off the rail.
25:17>> On the rail.
25:18>> The least hot boat. Like you think a
25:19boat a boat party is going to be like
25:21hot [ __ ] shaking their asses. It's
25:22just mutants.
25:24>> The worst guys was blind Mike there.
25:27>> Blind
25:29just the guys just
25:31jump
25:33like scale the captain's like whoa whoa
25:36whoa. Hey buddy. Hey buddy. Why do they
25:38call you blind Mike? He goes I'm just
25:39going to jump off the top real quick. Do
25:42you mind if I jump off the top?
25:45Y
25:50they call you blind Mike
25:55>> looking right at me.
25:58>> What?
26:00He goes, I didn't know you were standing
26:01there.
26:04I'm telling
26:05>> you made the gas digital employees walk
26:08the plank.
26:12>> Oh [ __ ]
26:13>> Oh.
26:15So there's like a uh there's like a lily
26:18pad. You know what a lily pad is, right?
26:19Like the big thing that like hangs like
26:21they tie it onto the boat, but like you
26:22know it's a huge one. So like you know
26:23eight 10
26:24>> like a raft. You can
26:25>> kind of Yeah. Like let's tie it onto the
26:26back of the boat. We're all just kind of
26:27like chilling on it, right? Everyone's
26:28just having drinks.
26:29>> [ __ ] cruise
26:32crew stinks.
26:33>> So we're like, you know, the boat's
26:34here. We're on the pedal like a crew
26:36talking, right? And you know like
26:38somebody's like waiting. We're like
26:40Natalie. No. She jumps. Sh. Cool. We
26:43start talking again. Suarez goes up.
26:50>> 300 lb.
26:51>> 350 lb.
26:52>> He's a big boy.
26:53>> Shrunk.
26:54>> Oh no.
26:57He looks for
27:00He jumps. Big splash. Look at these on.
27:04>> We start talking. So
27:06>> waves in the ocean.
27:08>> You know, you know Zebie comes back up.
27:09>> So no, we we weren't even looking. So
27:11we're talking. I'm talking to Alex and
27:13Saraphina and Ross in there and then
27:15like uh I see Alex like look over there.
27:16She's like is Suarez okay? This 2
27:19minutes later she's like is Suarez okay?
27:21>> He's hanging onto a buoy on the side of
27:23the boat
27:26going.
27:29>> No he's not. No he's not. No he's not.
27:35>> No he's not. Just catching your breath.
27:37>> He's dying.
27:38>> He's dying Louis. I have the files on
27:42me.
27:43>> That is a nightmare. Think of your last
27:45like you're trying to get the gas
27:47digital employees attention. They're all
27:48like
27:52not addicted. Lewis is laying on his
27:54side and he goes and that's where body
27:56brain came from.
27:57>> Sarah's like, "Wow, you go." I was just
28:01in my hot tub and I said, "What do I
28:03want to improve with coffee?" Body and
28:05brain. Help.
28:07>> Help. and junkies on a lily pad and
28:10you're [ __ ] like real please.
28:13>> The definition of no one's coming to
28:14save you.
28:15>> The definition of
28:16>> I'm sure they looked at him a couple
28:18times.
28:18>> Yeah, they probably went like this. I'm
28:19I'm tripping so hard Suarez is drowned.
28:22Dude, it was Who got him out?
28:25>> Uh, was it Ralph? Yeah,
28:27>> there jumped in.
28:29>> Take my
28:31H hold my head.
28:32>> Oh, he What is the big white dog from
28:35Never Ending Story?
28:37[ __ ]
28:38>> dude. This [ __ ] was so [ __ ] I mean,
28:40god damn it, it was
28:41>> Did he do a lot of spitting and going
28:43like
28:44>> I guess he said that he said that uh it
28:46was uh why why did he said he couldn't
28:49swim? He could swim.
28:50>> Cuz he's 350 lbs.
28:52>> Was he already tired? Is that what it
28:54was? He he couldn't get it to the boat.
28:56>> I I got
28:56>> How far out? Big and heavy and
28:59exhausted.
29:00>> Yeah.
29:00>> Yeah,
29:01>> dude. The feeling you sink if you jump
29:03in. You get Yeah.
29:04>> deeper than you thought.
29:05>> It's a big boy. big boy jumping off
29:07drunk like that. He goes he he's so out
29:09of shape that like he went he's so heavy
29:11he went down and by the time he got back
29:13up he was already running out of van
29:18>> the boat had left
29:20and he slowly floats
29:23that one beam of light that comes
29:24through water
29:27just sees that one beam of light and
29:30Louis standing on the side of the lily
29:32pad down Suarez jumped I thought he
29:34jumped dude that fat [ __ ] [ __ ] had it
29:38Anyways, I was thinking about eating
29:39lobster with M&M's when I get back to
29:41the mainland.
29:44>> You guys think they'd be mad if they put
29:46chocolate in the lobster?
29:48Is that that one beam of light still
29:50coming down in the water?
29:51>> Or remember when in Snatch he gets
29:54punched and he falls back. That's what
29:56Suarez did. Finding his way back up.
29:59>> That's But he's okay, right?
30:01>> He's alive. I talked to him this week.
30:03>> Can we set the [ __ ] scene here at
30:05three
30:05>> with his three friends hanging out?
30:06We're hanging out. Three
30:07>> and two action.
30:09>> All right, let's take a quick moment and
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30:47>> Ashwagandha. Are you [ __ ] kidding me?
30:49You got ashwagandha to help manage
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30:56>> Is that Is that He goes, "Oh my god,
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31:12>> And guess what? Guess what, Sharon? The
31:15coffee tastes great. It doesn't taste
31:17like That's not the line. Take that
31:18again.
31:19>> Can we take that line again?
31:20>> Hold on. Relax. We got We can improv a
31:21little bit. He's doing good. It's real
31:22coffee that we
31:23>> I was told direct from the script,
31:25>> buddy. The coffee it itself is great.
31:28You're not choking down some supplement
31:30drink. It tastes like real premium
31:32coffee while giving you ingredients that
31:35people are already taking separately.
31:37You're taking it together.
31:38>> So, you're saving time.
31:39>> Can I give notes about my uh my section?
31:41It just feels like I'm just listing
31:43stuff. I don't feel like my character
31:45has any drama.
31:45>> Well, you can improv a little bit.
31:47>> Well, I was told to go directly on
31:48>> No, I said use the script that this is
31:50what I was told.
31:51>> Dan, do what you did on Billions.
31:54>> Right. Beautiful.
31:55>> Great.
31:55>> Do that. If you're looking for better
31:57focus,
31:58>> yeah,
31:59>> drops in.
32:00>> Oh, I feel it.
32:01>> Cuz while you've been sitting here
32:02talking about this, I've invested 75 in
32:06the short of body brain coffee.
32:08>> Body brain.
32:08>> While Louis has been I've been shorter.
32:11And I'll tell you right now, I've just
32:14taken public a new insta coffee called
32:17big head body butt.
32:19>> It makes your butt body feel like butt.
32:22>> Yeah. Like butt. Now that's a [ __ ]
32:24good idea.
32:25Shane, I want you to really nail this
32:26next line.
32:29>> I don't
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32:39>> Oh, Bobby, just apologize for all.
32:41>> What is in all this? What the [ __ ] did I
32:43just talk?
32:45>> What [ __ ] did I
32:48>> You know it. You told us. Talk Ali. And
32:52maybe just real one more time for a
32:53clean little eye.
32:55>> Darvo, you're being Darvo. I know I am.
32:57>> Hey, you're I'm here to let you know
32:59this is a support group.
33:00>> Well, better yet, you know, you can just
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33:13>> Thanks, guys.
33:14>> Yeah, that was great.
33:15>> All right, where were we?
33:17God,
33:20>> we got a lot of
33:21>> You're taking social media post.
33:23>> I love body
33:25everywhere.
33:27>> That's always You should put Shane's
33:29eyes on the package.
33:31>> You know what's funny is that's what
33:32that guy did when he he gave me an extra
33:34ll. He like made an exercise hat. He
33:36goes, "Could you do a quick video?" I
33:37was in my hotel on the road and I go,
33:39"Hey, I love this XL cap." And he was
33:41just on my Instagram feed nonstop. I was
33:43like, and people are like, "Sod better
33:45have got paid for this." I go, I got a
33:46free light dolphins hat.
33:48>> That happened to me with the [ __ ]
33:49pillow.
33:49>> Yeah. With your son. They use it with
33:51your son, which was crazy.
33:52>> I did it with He goes, "Just do a little
33:54story. I put a story up with me and
33:55Max." They used it as their campaign ad
33:58for a year.
33:59>> Yeah. Like paid paid ads. Like it would
34:00come up and check my page.
34:01>> You and your son?
34:02>> They I I did it once. They sent Max the
34:05pillows. Hey, I like these pillow. We'll
34:06send you some. Just do a little
34:07>> You know what Max did to that pillow?
34:09>> Actually, we had to just throw it out.
34:14I'm pretty sure brick cuz you could fold
34:16it in half and it was a wolf.
34:18>> That's so funny.
34:19>> We just had to throw it out
34:20>> cuz damn
34:21>> people were [ __ ] it.
34:23>> I don't know if there was a gang of
34:25people in
34:26>> all his friends were just [ __ ]
34:28>> dude. You got to come over, dude.
34:29>> Come hit the wolf pillow. He goes you
34:32won't get kicked out of class tomorrow.
34:34>> Dude, it helps with snoring and [ __ ]
34:36>> Dude, it's great. Right. Three, two,
34:38one. All right, guys. Let's take a quick
34:40moment and thank Mint Mobile for
34:41supporting the show. Your wireless bill
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34:59hidden. That's that Dan.
35:01>> Well, thanks for tossing Allen.
35:05>> Hey, but honestly, if you what I like is
35:07you can keep your phone number if you
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35:29That's it. There's no catch. Bobby, hit
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35:45up to 20 GB hotspot. Cable Oh, [ __ ]
35:48Cable cable device required.
35:50Availability speed and coverage varies.
35:51>> Yeah, I would have never made that.
35:52>> Cementmobile.com for details.
35:54>> Good job.
35:54>> Way to [ __ ]
35:56>> dip it back in.
35:57>> I invited Bobby to the next family
35:59vacation.
36:01Okay.
36:02>> The Gomez family, Vicki.
36:03>> No,
36:04>> the Gomez.
36:05>> Well, it's you know, Gomez, Kelly,
36:08whatever my sister's last name is now.
36:10>> Are you Are you But are you going to
36:11bring a girl or is it just family?
36:13>> He's bringing a girl.
36:14>> He's bringing a girl.
36:14>> I We can't go. If you're
36:15>> Do you want to guess her birth year?
36:17>> You can't.
36:17>> You can't If you bring a girl, we can't
36:19go. We can't go.
36:20>> Obama was in office.
36:22>> I did meet a girl.
36:23>> Oh my god. He was He was president when
36:24I was born.
36:25>> There you go. What the [ __ ] is going on?
36:27>> Yeah, we can't go. If there's If there's
36:28a wild card, we
36:29>> can I tell you what the problem is. cuz
36:30I met a girl that I do like and there's
36:32no way we're getting to December without
36:35going to Jamaica together.
36:36>> Oh my god, the itch. It finds you.
36:39>> Yeah, if it's just family, we'll go.
36:41>> Lewis opens the window, just hears steel
36:42drums. Hey, do you hear still drums? She
36:45goes, "No, I don't hear anything. I just
36:46hear the wind." He's like, "You don't
36:48hear steel drums? It's called trick
36:50chicken."
36:53That's a steel drum. I grab that bag of
36:55money under my bed that I need to wash
36:57in Jamaica.
36:59So all the regs money just goes straight
37:01to your Jamaica. Yeah.
37:02>> Yeah. Yeah. In Jamaica. That one. You
37:05didn't like that one.
37:06>> I thought you got mad about that.
37:07>> Oh no. They make all Bobb's the one who
37:09stole the rags money. I never stole.
37:10>> Damn. This is what he
37:11>> Before you got here, they were telling
37:12me about it.
37:12>> This is what it is. This I steal the
37:14regs. Oh, because of body coffee. Yeah.
37:16I
37:16>> stole. They said all
37:17>> all of it. I said all y money which
37:21>> and Bobby Joe and I make very little.
37:23And then I explained you do the Darvo
37:25method of abuse. Just bring up Darvo if
37:28you could for our friend Louis here to
37:29understand.
37:29>> I know Darvo.
37:32>> That's how you That's how you convict
37:33yourself. You go. Yeah, I know that. I
37:35use it all the time.
37:36>> What's the Darvo method?
37:37>> It is deny, attack, reverse victim, and
37:41offender.
37:42>> No, you really do.
37:44>> This is the Louis J. Gomez style of
37:46business. You deny and then attack.
37:50Well, you guys don't How much [ __ ]
37:51money do you guys have? You guys don't
37:52need it. Oh, so really after all I've
37:54done for you doctor on the podcast. He
37:56goes, "So I put in this $20,000 sauna
37:58that washes my own feet." Reverse victim
38:01where he goes, "I didn't have parents."
38:03>> The perpetrator flat out denies the
38:05wrongdoing.
38:07>> And it never occurred. You go
38:08>> perpetrator thing to call me. You are
38:11the perpetrator.
38:12>> Perpetrator. Real ass dude. Put a ring
38:15around. I was like the perpetrator.
38:16>> It's time for the perpetrator.
38:18>> Oh, dude. The per for sure.
38:20>> The per doggy. What's up? I appreciate
38:22that. That's awesome.
38:22>> Perpetrator is perpetrator.
38:24>> Dude, by the way, this feels like when
38:25we were there when you dubbed them the
38:27Goites. This feels historically great.
38:29>> It's time for the perpetrator.
38:30>> Perpetrator's in town.
38:32>> Uh, yeah.
38:33>> I know your style of kung fu now. Now I
38:35know
38:35>> the perpetrator attacks the person who
38:37confronted them.
38:39This is you. It's
38:41>> so you.
38:41>> I've been on the receiving end of this
38:43so many times.
38:44>> Once you see you go, holy [ __ ]
38:47>> I might be only able to do Skankfest for
38:49one day. I think I might do SNO. [ __ ]
38:52you.
38:54>> OH, NO. IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S JUST my
38:56festival. If that's the way you remember
38:59my [ __ ] conversation, you lying piece
39:02of
39:03>> [ __ ] You'll notice that the deny that
39:05it ever happened.
39:06>> The deny.
39:07>> But can I say this? You turned down SNL
39:10first gangfest, which was awesome, but
39:13also maybe the most punk rock and rock
39:16and roll thing you've ever done. that
39:17the the amount of [ __ ] like like
39:19love. You have people that will take
39:20bullets for you now. You think the SNL
39:22people are taking bullets for you?
39:24>> Lewis, we have people that will be here.
39:26>> Shane couldn't be here. He's doing skank
39:28fests.
39:29>> He's on a cruise.
39:30>> Dude, he's like a huge Lawrence, like a
39:32huge Lewis guy. I'm a Gmite.
39:35>> A lot of people don't know this. I watch
39:36him from afar.
39:37>> You wouldn't? Uh
39:38>> he uses Darvo.
39:40>> You're not. Are you going to come?
39:41>> I respect that.
39:42>> If you go If you go with a family, we
39:44might go, but I can't bring my family
39:45with me. If I'm dating a girl to be
39:47overseas from now until December.
39:50>> No, we have to I can't we have to meet
39:52her. We
39:52>> can't smell her butt.
39:53>> Where's the trip?
39:54>> Jamaica.
39:55>> No, the the family trip.
39:57>> Family trip is we rented two villas in
39:59Jamaica.
39:59>> Yeah. Oh, yeah. I Yeah.
40:01>> And I told And I told Obby he doesn't
40:02have to pay for anything.
40:03>> Really?
40:03>> Just his flights. He just got to meet a
40:05young [ __ ]
40:06>> Well, I got you.
40:06>> You got to bring a woman for me.
40:09You can have
40:10>> I go honestly it's the racism is a
40:12problem with Louiswis but it's more the
40:13trafficking that I find that I really
40:15hate that must bring you must bring me a
40:17young nubile woman. Uh, let me see the
40:20fruit. Let me see the fruit you have
40:21brought me.
40:22>> Who is it? Your your sister, James. Your
40:25>> My sister, my aunt, Beatric, James,
40:28Bianca.
40:29>> Who's Oh, Bianca.
40:30>> Bianca.
40:31>> Yeah.
40:31>> Yeah.
40:32>> Yeah. That's great. But not some rogue
40:34chick. We don't know.
40:35>> If If I brought a woman, it would be not
40:38a rogue chick.
40:39>> Rogue chick.
40:44>> It's going to be a rogue chick. We don't
40:45know her. We can't go with a wild card.
40:47I can't. I've already done that. You
40:49can't. You can't. I We have to meet her
40:51knowing that we get along. Know she's
40:53not going to eat all the [ __ ] avocado
40:54off everything and she's not going to
40:56ruin the trip.
40:57>> Is that a thing that happened? Yeah.
40:58>> Yeah.
40:59>> Damn. You really avocado off something?
41:01>> I went I went we went with uh me and my
41:03cult. We had a family trip last minute.
41:05He's like, "Hey, you mind if Joey's
41:06girlfriend comes?" And we like I guess
41:08>> this is such a specific thing. Yeah.
41:12>> It's not going to happen to me again. I
41:14went on a trip and somebody ate all the
41:15[ __ ] avocados. It will not happen.
41:16It's like a victim of sexual abuse where
41:18I go, "Hey, something happened, dude."
41:21>> We I count that.
41:22>> He immediately went into it as [ __ ]
41:24girl Chelly Brock.
41:26>> We brought it was just a We didn't know
41:28her. And I'm like, "All right, I guess."
41:30And she wound up being a dud. Just come
41:32out in the living room. She's just on
41:33the couch just sitting there and then
41:36we'd eat and like we we we I paid we all
41:38paid for a chef to make us this amazing
41:40meal. We got this amazing Airbnb and
41:42then he puts the salad down on the table
41:44for everybody.
41:46>> Yeah. You and
41:47>> she takes
41:51you [ __ ] me choke.
41:55>> The thought of you and going moo.
41:58>> I want the part with the carrots and
41:59onions.
42:00>> She she literally just took the whole
42:02all the avocado. She goes, "I love
42:04avocado." Just took all of it and put it
42:06on her plate and just ate avocado. And
42:08we were I was like, "Other people like
42:10[ __ ] avocado, too. I don't want to
42:12have to do that move." You know what I I
42:14don't want to have to deal with that
42:15[ __ ] over and over. Anywhere we went,
42:17are we done? It's like, [ __ ] off.
42:19>> If Lewis brings a rogue woman on this
42:21trip,
42:21>> she has to be cool.
42:22>> I'm going to Venmo her $1,000 to eat all
42:24the avocado.
42:25>> For sure. For sure.
42:27>> I will Venmo her immediately $1,000. Eat
42:30all the [ __ ] avocado. Don't leave. If
42:32you see an avocado on Bobby's plate,
42:34>> you mind if I have
42:36>> I don't care how much you reach over
42:38with the entire thing in that. And
42:40honestly, I'll double it. You take off
42:42his own plate, I'll double it. We're
42:43gonna have a little bone. You don't say
42:45anything. You just go to Bobby. You look
42:47at it.
42:48>> I'll [ __ ] slap her in the face.
42:51>> Lewis goes back. He goes, "Podcast's
42:53over."
42:54>> Yeah, dude. I don't know. Bobby
42:55shortarmmed Larry Edited a woman.
43:01>> Yeah. You can't You can't go on vacation
43:03with families and have some person
43:05nobody knows. You got You got
43:07>> might be gone soon.
43:08>> You got to know. You can't just know
43:09some hot chick just show up. But if if
43:12it's just family, They just be family.
43:13>> Yeah, she's
43:14>> I think I think you bring the babe.
43:15>> Did you see?
43:16>> Shut the [ __ ] up. No, you don't bring
43:17the sweet girl. You You don't even know
43:19her.
43:19>> I do.
43:20>> You do? What's your name?
43:21>> Uh,
43:23>> dude.
43:25I just I just want
43:27>> I just want the shot of Louiswis's face
43:29going
43:31>> I want that.
43:32>> Don't [ __ ] What are you doing? What
43:34are you doing?
43:34>> Don't say what you do. It's like you're
43:35doing a heist and he's like, "What are
43:36you doing? You just got [ __ ] killed.
43:39[ __ ]
43:40>> I said no guts."
43:41>> Yeah, I said no guts. Who the [ __ ] are
43:42you?
43:43>> Yeah, dude. You just shot him in the
43:44face. He was looking at me. [ __ ] I'm
43:46sweating. Hey, guy.
43:47>> The AC.
43:48>> Yeah, the AC. I don't know who the [ __ ]
43:49>> Oh, you guys keep it off.
43:50>> No, he makes it shut off cuz he gets
43:52cold.
43:55>> It's hot as hell. I'm sweating my balls
43:56off. Can we get another coffee? Are you
43:58a Are you important in the industry or
44:00are you a loser? Who are you?
44:01>> Why are you yelling at a guy that
44:02doesn't even work for us?
44:03>> He seems pretty [ __ ] nice. Honestly,
44:05>> honestly, he seems like a
44:06>> Are you new?
44:07>> I swear to God, I thought he looks like
44:08a young JP Morgan. He He works for you.
44:12He works.
44:12>> Oh, you work for me? Yeah.
44:13>> You?
44:14>> No. I don't I don't
44:15>> Are you the guy from your mom's house?
44:17>> No.
44:18>> No. No. Paco just invited me in.
44:20>> Paco's inviting random homosexual men
44:22into our studio. I hope he beats your
44:24ass, dude.
44:25>> He's bisexual. But yes,
44:26>> I hope he's like a Golden Gloves champ
44:28and he just hits you with a three and
44:30you're out.
44:32You're just [ __ ] out.
44:33>> Yeah. You just wake up and he's
44:35>> But it be the one where it's like I
44:36don't fall right away. He hits you three
44:38times and then I'm like
44:41You have to put your fist down. You have
44:42to put your fist down and go, "Hey guys.
44:44Hey, stop real quick. Stop real quick.
44:48>> Hey guys, that guy 121, man. I I'm not
44:50seeing good right now."
44:55>> [ __ ] I got the AC feel.
44:56>> Thank you. It's much better. I I would
44:57love another coffee, but I don't want a
44:59whole other latte. Get me a medium hot
45:00coffee with a little bit of cream and
45:02two pumps of sugar-free caramel.
45:03>> Paco, give me a tissue, please.
45:06>> Any other drinks?
45:07>> I'll just got what I got the first time.
45:08Could I get a small or a medium cold
45:11brew? Yeah.
45:12>> Okay.
45:13>> Fired up. [ __ ] it. I'll have an anxiety
45:14attack later.
45:15>> That's always, by the way,
45:16>> great.
45:16>> Every time you leave the regs, you go
45:18you get alone and then you have a little
45:19bit of an anxiety attack about what you
45:21said where you go, "Fuck, I drank so
45:22much coffee and I was talking a lot."
45:24>> Dude, we those protect our part.
45:26>> Oh yeah, you guys are doing [ __ ] You
45:27guys are drunk and doing drugs
45:29mushrooms. You go, "Oh, the end of
45:30that." Yeah. The first like five we ever
45:33did every single time it would be like
45:35drink 20 beers and then by the end of it
45:36it's like dude throw up this Hitler
45:38speech
45:39>> and just we all sit quietly and go you
45:42got to admit he's a hell of a speaker.
45:44>> You know what turns out we all
45:46>> it's the same thing every episode
45:47>> we went online and all bought access of
45:49evil costumes [ __ ]
45:52>> that Joe puts on R. Kelly. We did the
45:54exact same episode like 10 times.
45:55>> Yeah. I mean
45:56>> cuz we kept blacking out
45:57>> when you're in the loop.
45:58>> I looked at Bobby last episode and I go
46:00I think we're in a loop. We're in a
46:01loop.
46:01>> We're in a loop.
46:02>> Yeah. Where's Because then it just
46:04inspires the same story from you.
46:05Somebody will tell a story and be like,
46:06I got a story that's like that
46:08>> and then you go and then the guy
46:09>> Well, one of the ideas that Paco had
46:10which I did like or me and Paco came
46:12together was we would have
46:13>> put yourself in there at the end.
46:14>> We will you know No, Paco said we Paco
46:17was the catalyst for change in
46:19>> Barry. He's Barry Gordy.
46:20>> Yeah, I own a good song.
46:23>> My song. No, he said or one of the ideas
46:26we had was we could have uh the
46:28producers introduce a topic each week on
46:31the show.
46:32>> All right, fine. I'll find that.
46:32>> And then we either do the topic and
46:34enjoy it or we trash the producer.
46:36Great.
46:37>> Excellent thinking, Paco.
46:38>> Yeah. Well, I think that was my idea,
46:40but Paco was a catalyst that made me
46:41come up with the idea.
46:42>> Why don't you let us hear it before you
46:43>> He's your inspo. Is that what happened
46:45or did you actually come up with the
46:46idea or did I come up with it? Be
46:48honest.
46:49>> Uh
46:50>> he can't be a team effort.
46:52>> Terrified. He's terrified. Paco afraid
46:54of you
46:55>> cuz he runs gas station like North Korea
46:57cuz I I will hit him if Paco doesn't say
47:00that Lewis created the sun and the
47:01stars. Lewis Kane's
47:03>> shot a 36 the other day.
47:05>> [ __ ] guy got hole in one.
47:08>> Crazy.
47:08>> Kim Jun does look like he's living the
47:10greatest life. Why don't he goes, you
47:12know, I'm the best basketball player in
47:13this country. It's like when uh Putin
47:15when Vladimir Putin plays hockey with
47:16the Russian hockey team and they're like
47:18whoa and he's like slapshot goal. He has
47:21like seven goals and they're like,
47:22"You're the best hockey player ever."
47:25>> Uh, why don't we do some plugs right
47:27quick?
47:27>> I thought you were going to do the
47:28topic. You want to do that after?
47:30>> No, I don't think they have topics. We
47:31didn't introduce Yeah, we we wanted to
47:32talk. We didn't Oh, so you just have the
47:34>> We have the the idea. Well, guess there
47:36was other ideas we discussed as well.
47:38>> Yeah, we had a couple I I have a few
47:40topics. I think since Danny is not here
47:42and this is the first time we're doing
47:44it, uh Joe's writing a couple down. Uh
47:47>> all right. Well, we we'll do it on the
47:48next show. I think that's fun. We're
47:49we're we're rolling. We're having a good
47:50I have another topic as well. My My life
47:52is in shambles. So your life is in
47:54shambles.
47:54>> My life is in shambles.
47:56>> But you're all tan.
47:58>> Yeah, dude. You're going on vacations.
47:59You have a [ __ ] Audi house with a
48:01pool and a sauna.
48:02>> Look at that. You got your own merch.
48:03>> You got your own festival. You got a
48:04boat cruise coming up.
48:06>> Look at your got skankfest at sea
48:08happening.
48:10>> Scroll down. He's like, "Scroll back.
48:11Scroll back up."
48:14>> Uh, come see me live on the road, guys.
48:16Rattle me this tour this weekend. Oh,
48:18wait. This is coming out next week,
48:19right? Yeah.
48:19>> Uh, so come see me. Uh, Denver Comedy
48:21Works for the first time ever, Comedy
48:23Works South. Uh, July 25th, Colorado and
48:2525th. Very excited about this. Come see
48:28me there. Then right after that,
48:29Lafayette, Louisiana, Lake Charles,
48:31Louisiana, uh, Fort Lauderdale, Florida,
48:34Portland, Maine, and more. Website is
48:36skanks.com and, uh, check out all the
48:38other pods that I do. Legion of Skanks,
48:40Real Est,
48:42>> Go to Shanegillis.com to see Dan Soder.
48:44>> Yeah, dude. Is that still working?
48:46>> I think. I don't know.
48:47>> Shaneis.com. We'll bring it to Dan
48:48Soder.
48:49>> You go to Shane Gillis.
48:50>> Who did that? Melissa.
48:51>> I don't know who did that, but
48:52>> a Bonfire fan from back in the day when
48:54Shane got a website.
48:56>> Got Shanegillis.com and reroutes to
48:58dancer.com.
49:00>> It should be the biggest comic in the
49:02world. Anyone else? I would be
49:03>> You should pass that around to all the
49:04comics. We should get his website for
49:06like 6 months each.
49:07>> And it's also I didn't even think about
49:08it and I go, "Oh yeah, my my crowds have
49:11grown substantially.
49:13>> Should have [ __ ] known this video."
49:14But also, if you love the show, get the
49:16uncensored and adree version of the show
49:17on gasdigital.com. Use the promo code
49:19resz. Uh, save a couple bucks a month.
49:21It supports the show directly and uh,
49:23yeah, you get the on demand library. You
49:24get pre-release on the episodes. That's
49:26the best way to enjoy a podcast. You
49:27don't like YouTube ads and censorship.
49:29That's crazy.
49:30>> We like it.
49:30>> Lame. Um, New York Comedy Club. I'm
49:33going to be in Stamford, Connecticut,
49:35July 16th through the 18th. And then,
49:38uh, Montreal just for laughs added a
49:40late show at Club Soda on July 25th. And
49:43then Albany Funny Bone. Whoop whoop.
49:46>> Oh yeah.
49:47>> July 31st and August 1st. Did you cry?
49:50Uh I'm gonna bring Sag Daddy Dodgard. Uh
49:53dansoder.com for all live dates. Thank
49:57you. Listen to Sod the podcast. Thank
49:58you very much. Robert Kelly.
50:01>> Uh I'm going to be I got one show this
50:03summer. I'm taking the whole summer off.
50:04So I got one show, The Music Hall Lounge
50:07in Portsouth, New Hampshire. One night
50:09on the 25th. I got two shows. Then I'm
50:12going to Saratoga for the comedy
50:13festival out there September 11th and
50:1512th. And then I'm at the Brooklyn
50:17Improv for the first time. I guess they
50:18have an improv out there. Yeah,
50:20>> brand new.
50:21>> Uh Sep September 26th. Uh and then I'm
50:24going down to Florida Versanis in
50:26October. Going back to Boston on
50:28October. Go to punchup.live
50:32robert Kelly for all my tour dates. My
50:34specials up there for free live from the
50:36village underground and a bunch of
50:37uncensored [ __ ] So make sure you go
50:39there and click on that. And uh and
50:41that's it. Shane,
50:43>> uh July 17th, I'll be in Philadelphia
50:46and August 8th, Charleston, South
50:48Carolina.
50:48>> Yeah. [ __ ] yeah.
50:49>> And uh bring up Joe's dates. We'll plug
50:51Joe's dates.
50:52>> Joe List will be
50:55in Austin, Texas living there cuz he
50:57moved there.
50:58>> What a [ __ ]
50:59>> There it is. Click.
51:01>> Oh yeah.
51:02>> Joe List is going to be in Philadelphia
51:05at Helium in October. All Oh, here we
51:07go. Tacoma Comedy Club July 23rd through
51:10the 25th. And then he's going to be at
51:12Helium Comedy Club in Portland August
51:1413th through the 15th. Catch him at the
51:17Funny Bone in St. Louis August 20th
51:20through August 22nd. Joe, go also go to
51:23punchup.live/joist
51:26comedy.
51:27>> Nope.
51:28>> What is it?
51:29>> I think it's just show list. Punchup.
51:31Joe list for all his and all that.
51:33>> What are you doing? What is this?
51:34>> It's a vape.
51:35>> What kind of weed? What is this weed
51:38vape?
51:40>> Where'd you get this?
51:41>> Weed vape store.
51:42>> I'm gonna tell Allan.
51:44>> Tell Allan what? That I'm [ __ ]
51:45awesome.
51:46>> Be blowing [ __ ] weed in my face.
51:48>> I blow it in your face.
51:49>> No, I'm good. I don't know that [ __ ] I
51:52smoke my own, dude.
51:54>> I don't want to [ __ ] do weird [ __ ]
51:56>> All right. My life is in the shambles.
51:57>> Yeah. Why?
51:58>> Cuz you [ __ ] so good in tropical places.
52:00>> I [ __ ] so good and get a tan. I'm too
52:03tan and my dick's too wet.
52:06cuz I bronze up and [ __ ]
52:10>> I can't stop getting [ __ ] balls deep
52:13in hot snooze.
52:14>> I don't know. I'm smacking ass.
52:17>> I don't know about you guys, but
52:18>> No. Why is your life in shambles?
52:20>> Uh, do you Darvo?
52:23>> I'll never if I if I had known what
52:26buying a house was when I bought a house
52:28>> up town.
52:29>> I would have bought a condo. Oh my god.
52:31>> Why? Why would you have bought a condo?
52:33>> Why?
52:36What the [ __ ] Louis?
52:38>> Dude, what the [ __ ] bro? [ __ ] Starting
52:40a sentence.
52:42Now I don't want to start that sentence.
52:44>> Actually, this is
52:47>> This is honestly good training to stop
52:48me from interrupting. This is like when
52:50Caesar Milano goes, I'm the [ __ ] leader.
52:52They go,
52:55I sit I just sit
53:00>> whatever, dude.
53:00>> It was a crazy sound that came out of
53:02your face.
53:02>> Started weird.
53:04story.
53:06I'm sorry.
53:07>> [ __ ] Uh yeah, dude. So, I thought this
53:11was my sister. I blame my sister for
53:12flooding my basement.
53:13>> Oh, Jesus.
53:14>> Cuz she uh
53:15>> she a squirter.
53:16>> She
53:21the [ __ ] happened to her?
53:24>> How do you blame your sister?
53:28She spills piss.
53:29>> She said the worst.
53:30>> She sp 90% piss apparently. It's the
53:32most erotic time of all time. Yeah. Um,
53:35no. Uh, so she was like in my backyard
53:39like doing some [ __ ] Like I paid her I
53:40paid her to clean my house. She called
53:42me. She's like, "Can you tell your
53:43cleaning lady to stay home for two weeks
53:45cuz I need money." She got fired from
53:46her job. And I was like, "All right,
53:48fine." So I lied to my cleaning lady and
53:49I was like, "Yeah, I'm you know, I'm
53:51going to be out of the house for two
53:52weeks. I don't need you."
53:53>> Cuz this is your sister, isn't it?
53:55>> This is another Spanish woman that needs
53:57money.
53:57>> Is your sister coming over and cleaning?
54:00Be honest with me.
54:04>> Somebody else.
54:06>> Louisa,
54:08are you using someone else?
54:10>> And my cleaning lady is great, dude.
54:11>> Baby, I'm going to be messy in two
54:13weeks.
54:14>> She's great. She never complains. She
54:16gets everything done. She does all the
54:17laundry. She folds it. She's [ __ ]
54:19you know, just She's dope.
54:21>> Yeah, she's a cleaning lady.
54:22>> No, sometimes cleaning ladies don't do
54:23laundry.
54:25>> All right. So, this one, she's And she
54:27always does a great She comes all day.
54:29Never complains. Great rate.
54:30Everything's good. Never a [ __ ]
54:32problem. My sister comes. She [ __ ]
54:35It's
54:35>> your sister.
54:36>> Yeah. You can't hide.
54:36>> One's an employee, one does it
54:39professionally.
54:40>> It's kind of It's in their blood.
54:43>> I would have expected her to do a great
54:45job.
54:45>> She should take naturally do it. No,
54:47she's a good cleaner, but she'll just
54:48fall short, right? She'll be like She'll
54:49be like, "Hey, I'm done." Or she'll be
54:50like, "I'm almost done. Can you send me
54:51the money?" Cuz Or'll always like, "All
54:53right, fine. We'll do this." She'll be
54:54like, "All right, can you send me the
54:55money for the next two weeks right now?"
54:57That's crazy. I think your cleaning lady
54:59should find out about it and do that.
55:01>> It's crazy.
55:01>> Pay me for two weeks or
55:03>> She's like, "Tell tell the cleaning lady
55:04to come. It's on Thursday. Mon the next
55:05two Mondays the cleaning lady supposed
55:06to come." She's like, "Tell them not to
55:07come. I'll I'll dog sit for you and I'll
55:09clean." She was like I was like, "All
55:10right, fine. We can do it." She was
55:11like, "All right, can you send me all
55:12the money right now?"
55:14>> And how'd it go?
55:16>> So she come, she doesn't finish
55:17cleaning. There's all this laundry done.
55:19There's just like piles and piles of
55:20laundry. Fine. But then what she does is
55:23she leaves the hose on in the backyard
55:26on the
55:26>> Yeah, she definitely flooded the
55:27basement.
55:27>> Grass.
55:28>> Yeah.
55:28>> Oh yeah.
55:29>> Like where do you think that goes?
55:30>> Two hours because you know basement's
55:31under grass.
55:33>> I thought basement was different from
55:34grass. Basement is grass.
55:37>> I don't know. I was thinking basement
55:38was up up but it was over over basement.
55:42Base base.
55:45>> Oh basement.
55:47>> She goes, "Mr. Lewis, you covered this
55:49big one. The basement below.
55:53>> You think basement below BB attic above.
55:56>> She's also giving you elementary school
55:58lessons while she's there.
56:00>> Circle. No going square. Only a circle.
56:03>> Yeah.
56:03>> So your sister just put the hose on and
56:05[ __ ]
56:05>> left the hose on the ground. Go, you
56:06know, seeps into the ground. I I The
56:09next night we get a crazy rainstorm.
56:11Like a crazy rain.
56:12>> Oh, that's probably also what did it.
56:13Two hours of a hose. No,
56:14>> but listen listen.
56:16>> Sorry. You're right. Was the hose on
56:18left overnight or just
56:19>> No, two hours. Oh,
56:20>> it didn't flood. No, that's not
56:21flooding.
56:22>> Listen to me. The ho when I came up,
56:23there was a puddle this thick like on
56:25top of the grass. It was crazy. And then
56:27I turned the hose off and then within
56:29within 4 minutes it went
56:32>> it went somewhere. All of that water
56:34went somewhere. Maybe it wasn't her. I
56:36have no idea. All I know is it rained
56:37that night. I didn't check I didn't
56:39check the basement. Yeah. The next day I
56:40go to uh work out in my my basement to
56:43the gym and I just [ __ ] just toes
56:45deep in water. Like just the entire
56:46>> How deep was the water?
56:47>> In the center it just got like a little
56:49shimmer but on the sides it was like
56:50pulled up.
56:52>> Yeah.
56:52>> And you have an uneven floor.
56:54>> So then I mean you got [ __ ] floors in
56:56that base.
56:57>> Yeah. You got to redo the floors, man.
56:58>> So
57:00you got to get a French drain, dude.
57:02>> I call my sister.
57:03>> Yeah, I've had one of those.
57:07>> A nasty. She's a nasty [ __ ]
57:14>> Oh,
57:14>> you went to Montreal, didn't you?
57:16>> Yeah.
57:16>> Oh, I went to Super Sex before it closed
57:18down.
57:18>> Nasty ass [ __ ]
57:20>> Uh, so I call my sister uh every name
57:24that you can call a woman. I mean, just
57:27uh uh just I mean, just the the anger
57:30like I can't like I'm just spitting it
57:32through the phone. Just real.
57:34>> Were you in the water still?
57:35>> I never knew really understood what
57:37[ __ ] meant.
57:38She just hears her splashing around.
57:42>> [ __ ] rubber ducky floats by.
57:44>> You [ __ ] [ __ ]
57:46>> Why are you being so mean to her? You
57:47blamed her.
57:48>> I blamed her.
57:48>> But how what was going on with that
57:50rain?
57:51>> Listen,
57:52>> let me change a detective.
57:54>> Clearly the rain.
57:55>> Well, hold on. I called I called a guy
57:56to come in. I called a plumber and he
57:57was like He was like, "Look, you know,
57:58there's really no way to really tell."
58:00He was like, "It's probably a
58:01combination of both."
58:01>> He goes, "You got a dumb sister?"
58:04>> Yeah. It's a dumb sister.
58:05>> Your sister your cleaning lady? Yeah.
58:07>> Yeah. This one. Yeah. I've seen this
58:08before.
58:11>> Oh, yeah. Textbook dumb sister.
58:12>> Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can tell you right
58:14now. Look at these fs. You got a stupid
58:15[ __ ] sister.
58:18>> Your sister's [ __ ]
58:20>> Yeah.
58:21>> Dumb sister's been here.
58:23>> She goes, "Did she get you [ __ ] a
58:24bear when you were a kid?"
58:26>> Yes. Dump sister.
58:29>> Oh, yeah. Dumb sister.
58:30>> Oh, you got a real [ __ ] idiot for a
58:32sister, huh?
58:34What a real dumb stupid [ __ ] of his
58:37sister.
58:38>> So, you just call her and you're like,
58:39"Fuck you."
58:41>> Yeah. Uh, you know, she's like, "It's
58:42not I didn't
58:43>> Did you pay her? Did you pay her
58:44everything?"
58:45>> I No. Did
58:45>> you pay her up front?
58:46>> No. I Man, that would have been so
58:48funny.
58:48>> But hold on. Then I I'd already given
58:50her I lent her $600 that morning cuz she
58:52had to get unemployment. She owed money
58:53somehow to the state. It's all a scam.
58:55She's my uncle Raymond, dude. She's
58:57like, "Oh, if you give me this, I'll get
58:58the money back and then you'll get
58:59this."
59:00>> Exactly.
59:01>> She Daros. Dar.
59:03>> That's what Lewis was seeing in real
59:05time.
59:05>> I got Daro.
59:06>> He got Daro.
59:07>> Turns out the only more kung fu powerful
59:09than my own is my own families.
59:11>> The only one that can out Darvo a Gomez
59:13is another Gomez doggy.
59:16>> That's their family style of karate just
59:20>> literally never happened.
59:22>> I You've hurt me.
59:26>> Really?
59:27>> Oh [ __ ] I was just so efficient.
59:30So, uh, then you know I I buy
59:33>> can't wait for next time you and me are
59:34in a fight to just be like, "You're
59:35Darvo.
59:36>> You're going to lose your mind, dude.
59:38You are going to fight."
59:39>> Cuz here's the thing about Shane and his
59:41weaponry.
59:42>> It's It's not the It's just he has
59:44access to him so fast. He can pull it up
59:45and you go,
59:46>> it's very subtle, too. Yeah.
59:47>> Does it come out like It comes out like
59:49a sniper.
59:49>> It's the way real guys The guys in the
59:51military
59:55slug.
59:55>> I'm just walking down the street. I'm
59:57like,
59:57>> "Lights out, moosh.
1:00:00All you hear Shane do is just a couple
1:00:02clicks to check the wind.
1:00:04>> He goes, "Scott,
1:00:07>> how do I get out of this dude? I got to
1:00:08dress up like a moose."
1:00:11>> Five years later,
1:00:15>> he goes, "I don't know. What can I live
1:00:16with? What can I live with? Raccoon?
1:00:19That's too racist.
1:00:21>> I don't know. [ __ ] what woodland
1:00:22creature can I be?"
1:00:24>> Moose is great.
1:00:26>> It's one of the hardest I've ever left.
1:00:28>> Call you Duncan. Beautiful. And but it
1:00:29also goes to just show you like owning
1:00:30it cuz you were really mad. You did
1:00:32really leave. You did get torn.
1:00:33>> I had to [ __ ] go cuz your dog
1:00:36said, "Wasn't
1:00:38Don's powerhouse?"
1:00:39>> She was panicking trying to start
1:00:41[ __ ] He's a homeowner and you don't
1:00:44understand.
1:00:44>> He goes, he goes like this. He goes,
1:00:45"Dude, [ __ ] her. She's fine." I'm like,
1:00:47"She's not." And he tried to dark me. I
1:00:50was What did you do that she couldn't?
1:00:52>> I went home and started the uh
1:00:54>> the generator.
1:00:54>> The generator. She didn't know how to
1:00:56cuz if you start you have to do a
1:00:57certain thing with the box and all that
1:00:59and she's like I'll I'll was it hot out
1:01:02or
1:01:02>> it was no the the power something
1:01:04happened. I forget what it was. She
1:01:06called the point I'm making though is
1:01:07that you left actually angrily. I left I
1:01:10was angry. Let me finish the point.
1:01:11Jesus.
1:01:12>> I was angry at you.
1:01:13>> You were angry at everyone.
1:01:14>> I was not never been angry at him.
1:01:15>> Well, he was mad about the situation and
1:01:16then everyone started calling him a
1:01:18moose.
1:01:18>> No. No.
1:01:19>> They called me a moose when I left.
1:01:21>> Oh, that was when I left.
1:01:23>> Yeah, that set it off.
1:01:26I'm glad I inspired.
1:01:27>> But but I will say when you like you
1:01:30literally handled it the perfect way cuz
1:01:31you you were getting trashed. You're
1:01:33showing up the next week in a moose
1:01:34uniform.
1:01:35>> But I waited for the end of the show and
1:01:37Mike's who? No, it was Danny. He's like
1:01:39he keep you keep he keeps threatening
1:01:41me. I'm like what? He goes he keeps
1:01:42threatening me. He's like really mad at
1:01:43me. I go let it happen. I go do you know
1:01:46wrestling? Let it happen. Let him get
1:01:48mad. He's going to [ __ ] mad. He's
1:01:50going to threaten. He's not going to hit
1:01:51you really. He never hits anybody
1:01:53really. He's just gonna pretend like he
1:01:54hit you. And then I came in the last
1:01:56second.
1:01:56>> He's got his [ __ ] broken nose.
1:01:58>> Yeah.
1:01:59>> Thanks.
1:02:02>> I mean, he does.
1:02:03>> I was just saying that.
1:02:04>> [ __ ] boots.
1:02:07>> But so your sister owed money.
1:02:10>> So she I gave her money for that. And so
1:02:12I technically So now I didn't pay her
1:02:14for the uh cleaning because I deducted
1:02:15from the $600. Anyway, it doesn't
1:02:17matter. A week later, we're getting more
1:02:20rain. Like crazy more rain. Now I bought
1:02:22at that point I bought a dehumidifier
1:02:24like big giant like industrial
1:02:25dehumidifier giant industrial fans. My
1:02:28basement is it sounds like a [ __ ]
1:02:30airplane's
1:02:32got goggles on and earplugs.
1:02:34>> Stop. Sorry. I got to go down to the
1:02:36basement. It's a wind turbine.
1:02:40I see how aerodynamic I can podcast.
1:02:42>> We're It sounds like we're [ __ ] like
1:02:44purifying copper in the basement. Oh,
1:02:46I'm doing crypto. Old school crypto
1:02:49>> or Bitcoin. So I I got all this [ __ ]
1:02:51>> Bitcoin in your basement. It's
1:02:52>> in there.
1:02:53>> It's down there. Don't worry. James
1:02:55James James got one token.
1:02:56>> Yeah. So uh So then it rains again a few
1:02:59nights ago like hard. We get a couple of
1:03:01days. Yeah. Broke that heat wave. Floods
1:03:03again.
1:03:03>> Floods again. The rain. So
1:03:05>> of course.
1:03:05>> So
1:03:06>> wasn't your sister?
1:03:09>> I think my sister did something still.
1:03:10>> What a dance. She did a rain dance.
1:03:12>> I did a rain dance.
1:03:14>> He goes He goes Puerto Rican rain dance.
1:03:17>> Just flicking a knife back and forth.
1:03:19Hey, rain. Better [ __ ] rain, man.
1:03:23>> [ __ ] hear me, Cloud. You better
1:03:24[ __ ] rain.
1:03:25>> Hey, you big fat black cloud. You better
1:03:27[ __ ] rain, bro. Dude, so funny. James
1:03:31standing at a sliding glass door going,
1:03:33"Why is Antise doing a rain dance?"
1:03:36She's back there.
1:03:40So,
1:03:41>> she's cutting her chest.
1:03:42>> I did. I called her. I told her the
1:03:44truth. I was like, "Look," I was like,
1:03:45"It fluttered again. I can't blame you.
1:03:47Fine. We'll we'll
1:03:49>> Good on you though. Louis 10 years ago
1:03:50wouldn't have done that.
1:03:51>> I gotta be honest. But now I called in
1:03:53like I was like who do even like call
1:03:55for this?
1:03:56>> Like a plumber. It's not a plumber's
1:03:57job.
1:03:57>> No, you have to get a you get a French
1:03:59drains. You got to get them all around
1:04:00your house. That house flooded before
1:04:02you moved in there. They knew that.
1:04:04>> Oh, they knew it.
1:04:05>> They knew that. They just redid the
1:04:06floors before you came.
1:04:07>> I have I have a sub pump, but it's not
1:04:09it's not getting to the sub pump. It's
1:04:10coming up through the flooring. There's
1:04:12>> your sub pump is probably not working. I
1:04:13had to get a new sub pump in my old
1:04:15>> No, sub pump works. We tested it. And
1:04:16then you got to get French. I had to get
1:04:17French fries all around the back.
1:04:19>> So we I called in a company. Their whole
1:04:21job is waterproofing basements. And I'm
1:04:25assuming that's what they're cutting a
1:04:26drain. You're right. I don't They didn't
1:04:26call it a French drain, but it's like
1:04:27they showed me the whole process.
1:04:28>> He goes, "No one calls it that."
1:04:31>> You know, I talked I talked to the
1:04:32experts. You're out of your helmet. You
1:04:34don't know a [ __ ] thing that you're
1:04:35talking about.
1:04:38>> You're saying [ __ ] pure nonsense.
1:04:39>> So you know, you're a [ __ ] idiot. Uh
1:04:41back to my story.
1:04:42>> You're saying absolute [ __ ] nonsense.
1:04:44>> Nobody calls it that. He just checks
1:04:46him. By the way, I've been on I've been
1:04:48on site for two days. No one calls it
1:04:50that. No one calls it.
1:04:51>> I haven't heard it once.
1:04:53>> Not even passing.
1:04:54>> But I'm also thinking of the
1:04:55>> Bring it up. Bring up French.
1:04:56>> I'm thinking of the people I'm thinking
1:04:57of the people that
1:04:58>> YBO.
1:05:02>> Yeah. I had to get I had to get a bunch
1:05:03of them.
1:05:04>> Bobby. But I'm thinking of the people
1:05:05that sold Lewis the house and every time
1:05:07it rains they go
1:05:08>> he just texted.
1:05:09>> I don't think this dumb
1:05:11>> ass [ __ ] guy off.
1:05:12>> They're they're cutting like inside of
1:05:14the house. They know what they're doing.
1:05:15They're going like,
1:05:17"This [ __ ] guy's [ __ ]
1:05:18>> This guy thought a hose water.
1:05:20>> This guy was impressed with a pool.
1:05:23>> This guy has his dumb sister cleaning
1:05:24his house. This guy This guy can do
1:05:27anything. We can do anything.
1:05:28>> This guy's a [ __ ]
1:05:29>> This guy's [ __ ] idiot. This guy liked
1:05:31the bushes. Hey, why is this fan pointed
1:05:33at this fan? This [ __ ] idiot. He's
1:05:35[ __ ] just pushing it back and forth.
1:05:40>> Guys, we can [ __ ] clean this guy out.
1:05:42Guy's a [ __ ] idiot." runs Body Brain.
1:05:45>> A lot of money in this
1:05:46>> goes, "Whoa, I saw some pouches of Body
1:05:48Brain up there. Mentally, this guy might
1:05:50have the edge."
1:05:50>> You think this is uh Lewis J.
1:05:55>> So, you have to get [ __ ] four French
1:05:57drains.
1:05:58>> So, they have to essentially they're
1:06:00cutting like uh like trenches around the
1:06:02inside. They have to pull up the floor
1:06:04like 2 feet of drywalling like the
1:06:07entire like
1:06:08>> you get black mold if you don't.
1:06:10>> Oh, black medic. Black mold. Oh, black.
1:06:14>> Are you I mean, and black mold is extra
1:06:15dangerous.
1:06:17>> It's like black squirrel.
1:06:18>> You don't want any black mold in your
1:06:20house, if you know what I mean. Um, how
1:06:22long's your house going to be under
1:06:24>> construction? Under siege.
1:06:26>> Yeah. Now that they're re [ __ ] b
1:06:28>> I don't know. I mean, they got to reseal
1:06:30your house.
1:06:31>> They said it's like 10 days.
1:06:33>> They said 10 days. Did they warn you? If
1:06:34it goes If it rains, by the way, that's
1:06:36another If it rains, if it rains, the
1:06:38entire house is collapsing. You're going
1:06:40to you're going to walk away. Let me
1:06:41tell you right now,
1:06:42>> you get all the floors redone and just
1:06:44before they put the drains in, it just
1:06:45rains again. He's going to keep doing
1:06:46the floors over and over. He goes, "Oh."
1:06:48He goes, "Good news is we're almost
1:06:50done." What's that I hear?
1:06:58>> Oh, that's pretty.
1:06:59>> It's either the Florida State Seminals
1:07:00or it's your dumb [ __ ] sister in the
1:07:01backyard.
1:07:02>> And And apparently
1:07:03>> And we're miles away from Tallahass. So
1:07:06>> And apparently she picked up a drummer.
1:07:13No, goodness. Why are you doing this?
1:07:16>> So, yeah, I have to get my my basement
1:07:17my basement waterproofed. Uh,
1:07:20>> it's good that you do that, though,
1:07:21because
1:07:22>> it's not as expensive as I thought it
1:07:24would be,
1:07:24>> but it's expensive.
1:07:25>> It's It's like Yeah, it's thousands.
1:07:26>> Like, yeah, it's like 15 G
1:07:28>> and they're putting the drains in the
1:07:29back of the house, right?
1:07:30>> 15 G. Yeah.
1:07:31>> Oh my god.
1:07:31>> But when you when when they showed me
1:07:32the video of like what they're doing and
1:07:34I was like, "Oh, this like building a
1:07:36new house." Like whatever. Like I was
1:07:37like, "This is going to be
1:07:39>> insane." And it's expensive, but
1:07:42>> waterproofing your basement.
1:07:44>> 48,200
1:07:45on average.
1:07:47>> Damn.
1:07:48>> I knew you were getting [ __ ] [ __ ]
1:07:50>> dude. You're getting
1:07:52>> That's a lot of
1:07:53>> Oh my god, dude. I didn't know you were
1:07:54going to look up.
1:07:55>> Hold on. Hold on. But interior
1:07:56waterproofing. Hold on. Interior
1:07:57waterproofing simply runs between 3,000
1:07:59and 12,000. Go down.
1:08:01>> Sisters can't get rain to manage after
1:08:05it enters the basement. Yeah. Installing
1:08:07interior French drains and it's up.
1:08:10Wow.
1:08:11>> Wow.
1:08:11>> Yeah. I'm the first one of all of us who
1:08:13owned a house.
1:08:14>> Yeah.
1:08:15>> Yeah. For real. That's why you got
1:08:16That's why you got the great also where
1:08:17I But where I live is I guaranteed on
1:08:19the way higher end of
1:08:20>> You got to make sure because I found out
1:08:22>> I should get a second opinion.
1:08:23>> You should get you should make sure
1:08:24there's no mold because when you when
1:08:26underneath my house I had to do all that
1:08:28[ __ ] and I had a crawl space. So
1:08:30>> Oh, I'm sure they're going to open up.
1:08:31They're going to be like, "Uh, so good
1:08:33news. We opened it up." Hey, bad news.
1:08:35>> It's all black mode.
1:08:36>> It's a lot of black mode. Turns out this
1:08:37house isn't even walls. It's just mold.
1:08:39>> Yeah.
1:08:40>> Yeah. Because if if they happen living
1:08:42in a giant piece of mold,
1:08:44>> you don't got a kid, do you?
1:08:46>> You're not developing.
1:08:47>> Your sister doesn't happen to know a
1:08:48mold.
1:08:50>> What did you just voodoo?
1:08:53>> She turned this whole thing into skin.
1:08:55This whole house is skin.
1:08:57>> Yeah. You have to We had when we were
1:08:58selling the house underneath because of
1:09:00the moisture there was black mold.
1:09:02>> Oh no. We had to either pay you have to
1:09:04pay. That's expensive to get that [ __ ]
1:09:06out.
1:09:06>> That's why when you buy a house, they're
1:09:07all like they're like, "Yeah, you you uh
1:09:09they they're like if you tell them you
1:09:11don't have to inspect it, they'll uh
1:09:13you'll be one of the top biders." You're
1:09:14like, "Well, why would they want me to
1:09:15inspect?"
1:09:15>> Oh, so it'll cost me $50,000 when I buy
1:09:17it.
1:09:18>> No, that's like a That's a technique
1:09:19they use in selling houses.
1:09:20>> Yeah. We had to take that money off of
1:09:22the at the price they gave us. We had to
1:09:24take that off for them to do it, which
1:09:26is we lucked out.
1:09:27>> I'm going to if when I look at houses,
1:09:29I'm going to say no ghosts, no mold.
1:09:31That's what I'm checking for.
1:09:32>> No ghost, no mold, no water.
1:09:34>> No ghost, no mold, no water.
1:09:35>> Yeah, water basement [ __ ] is the worst.
1:09:37It's the [ __ ] worst.
1:09:39>> But you know what? After I get this
1:09:41basement waterproofed,
1:09:42>> your roof is going to leak.
1:09:42>> My
1:09:46happened to me. We were We were sitting
1:09:49Saturday night. We were hanging out.
1:09:51>> Thank God.
1:09:52>> Dude,
1:09:55Saturday night, we were hanging out.
1:09:57>> We're hanging out at my house. We always
1:09:58start to watch a movie. We just got a
1:09:59pizza. It was like this the best. All of
1:10:01a sudden, it was raining out. Just water
1:10:03started dripping through all the light
1:10:04fixtures. I had to go on the roof and
1:10:06put a tarp over the roof uh in the
1:10:08middle of the craziest.
1:10:09>> You almost got superpowers. You would
1:10:10have got struck by lightning and then
1:10:11you'd be levitating.
1:10:13>> Were you fat back then?
1:10:14>> I was fat. Oh, fat body.
1:10:15>> Must have been Santa Claus. The neighbor
1:10:17was like,
1:10:18>> "This is how we practice."
1:10:20>> Neighbor's kid was looking out the
1:10:21window.
1:10:22>> It is real. He's like 14 years old.
1:10:25>> Dad, what are the giants? Dad, what does
1:10:28Santa do in August? Is that the moose?
1:10:30>> Yeah.
1:10:32>> I had to go on the roof. I had a huge
1:10:3440ft.
1:10:35>> Big fat body cussing.
1:10:36>> I had the worst part putting a tarp out.
1:10:38>> The worst part is I had to take all the
1:10:40sandbags off the basketball hoop. I had
1:10:42to hold down the tarp and the next day
1:10:44when I went to move the basketball, it
1:10:46just smashed into my car. No.
1:10:48>> Yeah, dude.
1:10:48>> I just got rid of my basketball hoop for
1:10:49that reason. It was like it was just
1:10:50that we me and James haven't touched it
1:10:52in
1:10:52>> six years. Like it's just been we've
1:10:54owned a basketball hoop that we've
1:10:55looked at. You know how good James could
1:10:57be if you just put in time of
1:10:58>> He's like six feet tall already.
1:11:00>> Yeah. Yeah. He's holding.
1:11:01>> He's so goofy when it comes to like
1:11:03playing with balls.
1:11:05>> Hey yo. Heyo. Heyo. Pause.
1:11:09>> He's got no uh Yeah. He's got no
1:11:10coordination with the balls.
1:11:12>> Yeah. Okay.
1:11:13>> It's a good thing.
1:11:14>> But he can fight. He could he could do
1:11:15jiu-jitsu. He could box. He's getting
1:11:16really good.
1:11:17>> Yeah.
1:11:17>> Yeah.
1:11:18>> Yeah. You got to get Make sure you get
1:11:19your roof,
1:11:19>> which is weird.
1:11:20>> Why?
1:11:21>> It's weird that he doesn't have the
1:11:22coordination to like dribble a
1:11:23basketball or hit. Dude, hitting dude,
1:11:24going to going to little league with
1:11:25James was pure hell. I told I was like,
1:11:29"You're terrible." I was like, "Quit,
1:11:30dude." I tell you right now,
1:11:32>> I swear to God, I told him, I tell you
1:11:33right now, that was the first time I I
1:11:35stink at sports, but I'm I'm okay at
1:11:37neighborhood sports, but for some
1:11:39reason, you put me in organized sports
1:11:40and I lock up. I was
1:11:42>> pretty good at baseball when we play in
1:11:44the neighborhood. And then I joined
1:11:46McDaniel got me to join little league in
1:11:488th grade and I was like, I'll play. I
1:11:51sucked. And there was these two kids
1:11:53that were nerds. They were twins. They
1:11:55were nerds at my middle school. And they
1:11:57were never in baseball. And they would
1:11:59bully me. They'd go, "We're going to
1:12:01call them 007 cuz that's as bad as I was
1:12:04like, [ __ ] [ __ ] you. You [ __ ]
1:12:07idiots." Those kids were they were
1:12:09hilarious twins. They were like So they
1:12:11were like autistic. They were like
1:12:13basically autistic, but dude, they hit
1:12:15like ichiro. It was like balls. It was
1:12:17[ __ ] crazy.
1:12:18>> Max sucked at baseball, too. He would
1:12:20sit in the field and just sit down in
1:12:22left field. We'd have to yell it and
1:12:23then
1:12:24>> was the sitting
1:12:26all that kid needed to be hit.
1:12:29>> Let it be known I was a liability. I
1:12:30wasn't a liability in the field. Just
1:12:32that bad.
1:12:33>> I heard the coach screaming Max who's up
1:12:35at bat and I looked over. He took all
1:12:37the practice balls and he brought a
1:12:39Sharpie from the house cuz and he was
1:12:41signing autographs and handing it to the
1:12:43people in the stands of the other team.
1:12:45>> Very funny.
1:12:46>> How you doing Max Kelly? You ever seen
1:12:48that?
1:12:49Dude,
1:12:50>> you got Who's signing slugs?
1:12:51>> Put that on there. Hey, now my dad's on
1:12:53the right.
1:12:53>> I was on baseball. I was on little
1:12:55league, but with my sister who was
1:12:56better than me.
1:12:57>> That was suck.
1:12:58>> What's the worst case scenario?
1:12:59>> I got beat by a girl pitcher and I
1:13:01cried.
1:13:03>> My career was it was tough.
1:13:05>> Do you remember when fast pitch when it
1:13:07when it first happened where it goes
1:13:09from coach pitch to player pitch and
1:13:10then you first time you see a kid throw
1:13:12heat and you go like what?
1:13:14>> You go like
1:13:15>> kid with mustache. I never made a pass
1:13:18just for fun. So, I only hit off the the
1:13:19tea.
1:13:20>> The tea. Yeah. A tea ball,
1:13:21>> man. I remember, dude. First of all, I
1:13:22[ __ ] you not, I would I could barely hit
1:13:24it off the tea.
1:13:25>> It was hitting tea was tough.
1:13:26>> It wasn't easy.
1:13:27>> It wasn't easy.
1:13:27>> And just standing there. Sure,
1:13:29>> dude. I literally This was like the
1:13:30moment I was like sports for me. I hit
1:13:32the I hit I hit off the tea and I ran to
1:13:34third base.
1:13:35>> Oh, boy. And that wasn't
1:13:38>> I mean, no ball to go to third.
1:13:40>> It wasn't It wasn't even that. It wasn't
1:13:42even that I did that. It was the the the
1:13:45pure the pure cackling joy of all of the
1:13:49dad. I don't have a dad, but everyone
1:13:51else's dad, dude, they were
1:13:53>> I mean, I just saw their faces like the
1:13:56funniest thing on the [ __ ] planet.
1:13:59I'd
1:13:59>> be so happy.
1:14:00>> That is That is so [ __ ] funny just to
1:14:03see the dad go.
1:14:06>> You go, "Mommy, I did it."
1:14:08>> You're waving from the bag and the dad's
1:14:09like,
1:14:10>> "There's still no mommy." Yeah, they
1:14:12were pointing and laughing at me, dude.
1:14:14Like adult men just tackling.
1:14:16>> Dude, I got [ __ ] uh I wrestled when I
1:14:19was like five and six years old and I
1:14:21got beat in a tournament by a kid cuz we
1:14:23were wrestling like sure I live in the
1:14:26Denver area, but you're getting kids
1:14:27from farms. Farm kids are so good at
1:14:30wrestling cuz they've been doing work
1:14:32since they were three. So this kid
1:14:34>> I bob wire with [ __ ] their hands.
1:14:36>> Yeah. If you ever wrestled when you were
1:14:37younger, you knew the kids that were a
1:14:39problem with the kids with the buzzed
1:14:40heads that had six-packs before every
1:14:42>> be a wrestling problem though. You have
1:14:44that like look, you have like an anvil
1:14:45for a head.
1:14:46>> Yeah, you got the nose.
1:14:47>> Well, dude, you got a good
1:14:49>> I'm going to tell you what. I got mopped
1:14:50up at this tournament at the It was like
1:14:53a big tournament where there was all the
1:14:54different mats. This kid shoved his
1:14:56stupid buzzed head into my face and just
1:14:58drove me into the ground. And then we're
1:15:01we're it was the first time I remember
1:15:03playing playing a sport going this
1:15:06>> this kid's mean. That's what I kept
1:15:08thinking. It's like this kid's mean. And
1:15:10the kid pinned me and then I was like
1:15:11upset cuz they were like yeah and his
1:15:13whole thing celebrated and I was like I
1:15:15started to like cry but not cry where
1:15:17I'm like tearing up you know cuz I just
1:15:19got embarrassed and I remember this dad
1:15:21of this kid on my wrestling team just
1:15:24goes why are you crying like that? In my
1:15:27head, I went in my head. I went, "I'm a
1:15:29child."
1:15:31>> Remember being like blown away by it cuz
1:15:33the kid the dad thought it was so funny.
1:15:34I was [ __ ] crying after I lost.
1:15:36>> Yeah.
1:15:37>> It might It might have been the the
1:15:38third time that James
1:15:40>> I don't understand how you put him in
1:15:42the lineup here. Like it was three times
1:15:43that I watched this happen. I didn't go
1:15:44to every game cuz I was on the road a
1:15:45lot. He was a lot of his games were
1:15:46Saturday.
1:15:47>> That's why I sucked,
1:15:47>> right? Um No, Eddie was there. Eddie was
1:15:49there.
1:15:50>> Oh, dude. A Dominican step.
1:15:52>> Well, that's the thing. They pushed him
1:15:53into it. Dude, he was a baseball guy.
1:15:56dirty your hoop.
1:15:57>> Bring your hips.
1:15:58>> Your hips. Bring your hips with you. So
1:15:59this thing right here, you know when we
1:16:00dance when we dance in the kitchen
1:16:02>> like that for the back. That was the
1:16:04thing.
1:16:04>> You don't need a glove.
1:16:05>> He would do it for I play with the milk
1:16:07court.
1:16:07>> Use cardboard on your hand.
1:16:09>> He would do uh he they they like Eddie
1:16:12was into baseball and Eddie were
1:16:14together at the time. So that was like
1:16:15their thing to do. And James just was
1:16:17not good. He wasn't into it.
1:16:18>> Would he tell you he wasn't into it?
1:16:20>> He Well, at the end I'll tell you what
1:16:21happened. So, it was like the third time
1:16:23that this happened where he was up to
1:16:25bat where
1:16:28it was on him where if he struck out,
1:16:30the team loses the game. This is three
1:16:33times I watched it happen three times
1:16:35where he struck out and lost the game
1:16:37for the team. So, and I the third
1:16:43>> I was waiting I was waiting
1:16:45>> Shane Shane check it back in for the
1:16:47worst part. He lost the game three
1:16:49times. If that was Shane's kid, he would
1:16:51have laughed the same way.
1:16:54>> That's what my dad did.
1:16:55>> I suck.
1:16:56>> I was like, "James, you're not good." I
1:16:57was like, "You need I was like, "This
1:16:59stinks." I was like, "You're not having
1:17:00fun." I was like, "You hate this." I
1:17:01watch, you know, the other kids, they're
1:17:03pretty nice kids. Even though the
1:17:04baseball player kids could be dicks, but
1:17:05he'd do it the third time. You just
1:17:07watch all of their faces. They're all
1:17:08going like again. I know.
1:17:10>> They were doing that before he went up
1:17:12to bat.
1:17:12>> And then I'm literally going to James
1:17:13the kids.
1:17:14>> And I say to him, I was like, "James,
1:17:15just so you know, I was like, you could
1:17:16[ __ ] all these kids up. You could beat
1:17:17their asses. They play with balls like
1:17:19[ __ ] [ __ ] You do jiu-jitsu. You
1:17:21could punch them in their [ __ ]
1:17:22mouths. I was like, "So, how about that?
1:17:24How about that now?
1:17:25>> That is awesome. Yeah,
1:17:26>> good talk."
1:17:27>> When you don't have when you don't have
1:17:28that speech, you just go, "I'm gay."
1:17:31>> You walk back home, you're like, I suck
1:17:33at striking out.
1:17:34>> Striking out makes you cry
1:17:36>> so much.
1:17:36>> I caught the I caught the winning catch
1:17:39left field on my knees. Caught it. West
1:17:42Memphis vers Hillside.
1:17:43>> West Memphis three.
1:17:44>> West Memphis West. West Memphis versus
1:17:47Hillside. We hadn't won in 10 years.
1:17:48>> You slid on your knees catch.
1:17:53I have I have
1:17:54>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1:17:56>> I have the plaque. West Memphis won the
1:17:58championship.
1:17:59>> A plaque for this play.
1:18:01>> On my knees. Wait, let me finish. Let me
1:18:03finish. On my knees, slid, made the
1:18:05catch. The whole to win the [ __ ]
1:18:08whole thing. The whole team pingpiled
1:18:11me. I have a fear of uh you know, I have
1:18:14claustrophobia. They all picked and I
1:18:16was just me screaming, "GET OFF ME. I
1:18:18CAN'T BREATHE. I CAN'T BREATHE. I
1:18:19CAN'T." And they all the coaches had to
1:18:21because it was just ME SCREAMING,
1:18:22"PLEASE GET OFF ME." AND I and I just
1:18:24had tears going down my whole face. And
1:18:27then all the other they gave me a root
1:18:28beer and it was just me holding my glove
1:18:30and a root beer crying. And I had no
1:18:32family there. I had to walk home on the
1:18:34highway just with tears in my eyes.
1:18:36>> After you rock and roll slided, you hit
1:18:39a [ __ ] web gem.
1:18:41This is crazy. You did not for this
1:18:44story literally was just Bobby [ __ ]
1:18:46[ __ ] drinking a root beer crying cuz
1:18:49nobody
1:18:50>> I also made the best play of all time.
1:18:52So there's that.
1:18:53>> He walked by
1:18:55He walked by baseball field
1:18:56>> slid on my [ __ ] left field. Slid to
1:18:59make
1:18:59>> Your version of this story is crazy.
1:19:02>> I slid on my knee.
1:19:04>> You like slid like this.
1:19:05>> I slid in one of my slid like this and
1:19:07won not only the game but won the season
1:19:09like this.
1:19:09>> What? No. Won the [ __ ] the World Series.
1:19:11West me, not the world, West Meford
1:19:13Hillside, but we hadn't won. I won the
1:19:15[ __ ] game for West Memphis to win the
1:19:17first time in 10 years. I have the
1:19:19plaque at my [ __ ] mother's house.
1:19:20>> Bring it in.
1:19:20>> I I'll [ __ ] I'll [ __ ] text her
1:19:22right now, [ __ ]
1:19:23>> Bring it in.
1:19:24>> She still has it.
1:19:24>> Mommy, you need to take a picture of my
1:19:26little
1:19:26>> She goes, "The one you stole from the
1:19:27kid when you were walking by the park
1:19:29and they were playing baseball." First
1:19:30of all, she stole his root beer.
1:19:32>> Bobby.
1:19:33>> Bobby, I told you that.
1:19:34>> This is the problem. That belongs to the
1:19:36problem, you guys. You know what? This
1:19:38is why you don't open up on the I'm
1:19:39[ __ ] opening up telling you the time.
1:19:42Remember the time you were the coolest
1:19:43guy ever.
1:19:44>> Barbie, I told you you were crying with
1:19:47your root beer.
1:19:48>> SHE WASN'T THERE. I HAD NOBODY. I WAS IN
1:19:51TEARS WITH NOT A [ __ ] PARROT IN.
1:19:53>> I SLID I SLID ON MY KNEES. My dick
1:19:55smashed right into a supermodel's mouth.
1:19:57And it was crazy. I remember sliding and
1:19:59I looked at the bat and as I caught it,
1:20:02I went, "You're out."
1:20:03>> I made
1:20:04>> You're out.
1:20:05>> Made the [ __ ] paper, too. It's a
1:20:07baby. They're like local [ __ ]
1:20:09>> Whoa. Hold on. Local liar.
1:20:14>> Local gay liar found on highway crying.
1:20:17>> I'm calling her right now
1:20:18>> with a stolen rub. Local boys and gay
1:20:21liars.
1:20:22>> Local gay liar.
1:20:24>> Hang on.
1:20:24>> Found crying on highway.
1:20:26>> Hang on.
1:20:26>> Lied about sliding catch
1:20:30>> or [ __ ] Hang on.
1:20:31>> Hi.
1:20:32>> Hi. Mom. [ __ ] Mom.
1:20:34>> She wasn't there.
1:20:35>> Mom, you're right. She wasn't there.
1:20:36>> She heard about it. Mom, real quick,
1:20:38you're on You're on a podcast. You cool
1:20:40with that?
1:20:41>> Yeah.
1:20:41>> Okay, great. Do you remember when I made
1:20:43the winning catch for West Memphis
1:20:45Hillside
1:20:46>> and I got the and I made the I got
1:20:48>> Say something else. Say something else.
1:20:49Let me talk. Give me.
1:20:50>> No. No. You just She can hear you. Go.
1:20:52>> She can hear you.
1:20:53>> Describe the winning play.
1:20:55>> She wasn't there.
1:20:57>> I was there.
1:20:58>> You weren't there. I walked home alone.
1:21:00>> No, you weren't.
1:21:01>> No. No. Now there's there's already
1:21:03holes in this story. I had a go. It was
1:21:06>> Wait a minute. Relax. Mom, I was
1:21:07baseball. You were a cheerleader.
1:21:09>> Do you have
1:21:11You were the bat boy from the other
1:21:13boys.
1:21:14>> Do you have the plaque? Do you have the
1:21:15plaque at the house?
1:21:18>> Yes.
1:21:18>> Now, do we Was that in South Medford?
1:21:20>> That was That was West Medford.
1:21:22>> Do you have the plaque?
1:21:23>> You have the plaque.
1:21:24>> Your mother is scenile.
1:21:26>> Do you have the plaque?
1:21:28>> Yeah, I do.
1:21:29>> Take a picture of it and send it to me
1:21:30right now.
1:21:31>> I'm not home. I'm at the mariner.
1:21:33>> What? the mariner. Dude, she's never
1:21:35talking.
1:21:37>> It's an orgy that they do
1:21:39>> for elders.
1:21:40>> Shut up with my [ __ ] mother. My
1:21:42mother.
1:21:42>> Do you have a lesson to me?
1:21:43>> It's an elder orgy. They do.
1:21:47>> Did you get my text yesterday?
1:21:49>> No, I did. I got to go. M. This is
1:21:51getting You didn't get it?
1:21:52>> I did not get it.
1:21:53>> What was the text?
1:21:54>> What was the text?
1:21:57>> What were you talking about?
1:21:58>> Go to the marin.
1:21:59>> This is This is This is
1:22:00>> I'm going to try to break my
1:22:02>> Easy. Easy. Easy.
1:22:05>> Giving me a plaque.
1:22:08>> Easy. What's up, Bob?
1:22:09>> You're on a podcast.
1:22:10>> Yeah. All right, relax. I got to go. I
1:22:12got to go.
1:22:13>> No, no, no, no, no. Answer my question.
1:22:15>> What? I What was the text? I didn't get
1:22:17it.
1:22:18>> You said wake up Larry.
1:22:20>> Wake up Larry.
1:22:21>> Yeah.
1:22:22>> You mean dad? Dad who passed away?
1:22:25>> Yeah.
1:22:26>> You want to wake him up?
1:22:28Well, you asked some guy in the
1:22:30audience, and the guy said he did
1:22:33something in his wife's mouth.
1:22:35>> I got to go, Mom. I got to really go.
1:22:37This is getting bad.
1:22:39>> I got I love you. I'll call you later.
1:22:41What?
1:22:42>> What?
1:22:42>> So, I said, "Well, your dad fell asleep
1:22:45and I started snoring and I said,
1:22:48"Larry, wake up. Larry, wake up."
1:22:52>> Okay, Mom. I love you so much. I'm going
1:22:53to call you back after the show. Okay.
1:22:56>> All right. Have have fun at that place.
1:22:59>> I have um ear plaque. Don't worry about
1:23:01it.
1:23:02>> Okay. You just got the bomb. I love you.
1:23:05Take a picture of my
1:23:07>> Wow. She goes, "Bobby, they're taking my
1:23:10pills."
1:23:11>> She's very
1:23:12good mom.
1:23:13>> I think I think my mom's
1:23:14>> She goes, "Bobby,
1:23:15>> I think my mom's
1:23:16>> You didn't play basketball." She said,
1:23:18"Wake up, Larry."
1:23:19>> Yeah. Wake up, Larry.
1:23:20>> Yeah, but you don't understand.
1:23:22>> He's been gone.
1:23:23>> He's been gone for a long time. He's
1:23:25[ __ ] better wake up.
1:23:27>> Maybe he visits her.
1:23:29>> [ __ ] I've left harder on this
1:23:31respectful.
1:23:32>> What?
1:23:32>> The way you just talked about his
1:23:33mother. The Mariner. You're a piece of
1:23:35[ __ ] That was a good bet. And he jumped
1:23:37in. The ice point guard jump in. The
1:23:39boys jumped in. I bounced past like a
1:23:42simple bounce pass.
1:23:43>> You have no respect. I expect more out
1:23:45of you.
1:23:46>> You're a family. You're a family man. If
1:23:48your If your mother was on, nobody would
1:23:50[ __ ] do that to you.
1:23:52>> He [ __ ] clipped it. The [ __ ] I
1:23:55told a story about my mom on Story Wars
1:23:57>> that she hates.
1:23:59>> She was really upset about and I had to
1:24:01text him be like, "Can you please stop
1:24:03clipping me on Skype in Story Wars?"
1:24:06>> He was like, "Yeah, no problem."
1:24:07>> Open my phone immediately. It's like,
1:24:09"My mom's drunk and shit."
1:24:10>> He go, "Shade, how am I going to pay for
1:24:12this basement? Your mom stories are
1:24:14going to get us a new basement."
1:24:16>> I mean, do you guys do the Body Brain
1:24:17read already? Yeah.
1:24:18>> No, we have not.
1:24:19>> No.
1:24:19>> Okay. Because you if you think there's
1:24:21any way
1:24:22>> what
1:24:22>> our most successful friend is gonna do
1:24:25>> they brought me on man [ __ ] They gave
1:24:26me a whole segment. It was great. These
1:24:28are my boys. They don't care. Unlike my
1:24:30friends who I daro
1:24:36you [ __ ]
1:24:37>> time for the perpetrator. Time for the
1:24:39perpetrator.
1:24:41>> You better come out to that [ __ ]
1:24:42song, dude. Oh, [ __ ] me, dude.
1:24:45>> What a show. This one.
1:24:46>> Let's take a quick moment and thank Lucy
1:24:47for supporting the show. I see. Uh Bobby
1:24:49Kelly over here with his Lucy pouches.
1:24:51>> Yeah, loves them.
1:24:52>> Drinking. Yeah, I love Lucy, man. Lucy's
1:24:54the best.
1:24:55>> Dude, what's your favorite uh flavor?
1:24:57>> Um my favorite flavor is the berry one
1:25:00they just came out with. And they also
1:25:01have the mango, which I usually don't
1:25:02like, but I do like the mango on this
1:25:04one.
1:25:05>> We could try them all in the Lucy.
1:25:06>> Espresso is good, too.
1:25:07>> Okay. You can try
1:25:08>> espresso. Oh, yeah. In the morning,
1:25:09>> they can try them all in the Lucy
1:25:10six-pack, or check out the unflavored
1:25:13options if your state has a flavor band.
1:25:15>> That sounds crazy. No. Massachusetts
1:25:16says
1:25:17>> pop a [ __ ] flavorless pouch in your
1:25:19>> No, they're not bad. They're not bad.
1:25:20>> Oh, a blank piece of paper.
1:25:22>> Lucy, the only pouch that delivers long
1:25:24lasting on demand flavor.
1:25:25>> Oh, I'm going to break open this flavor
1:25:27of nothing.
1:25:28>> Lucy,
1:25:28>> the whole point of it. Look, look,
1:25:30honey. They have a black and white TV.
1:25:31>> Yeah. 20% off the first order when you
1:25:34buy online at lucy.com/res
1:25:37with promo code regggs. If you don't
1:25:39want to wait, check out the Lucy store
1:25:41location to find uh Lucy near you. It's
1:25:44It's pretty easy. You go up there the
1:25:46locator and it'll tell you where they
1:25:47sell them all around the city you're in.
1:25:49Uh just grab it today. Again, that's
1:25:51lucy.com/res
1:25:53promo code regs. Here comes the fine
1:25:55print.
1:25:57>> Lucy products are only for adults of
1:25:59legal age and every customer is age
1:26:00verified. Warning, this product contains
1:26:01nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive
1:26:03chemical. You're
1:26:03>> so good at that.
1:26:04>> It's my favorite thing to do.
1:26:05>> It's so good.
1:26:06>> It's really good.
1:26:06>> All right, let's take a quick moment and
1:26:08thank GLD for supporting the show. GLD
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1:26:20>> The way we're gonna get is I bestow to
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1:27:20>> You guys gave me a chubby after seeing
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1:27:23>> Woo. Showing a lot of thigh. They dry
1:27:25quick. Chubbies sent me a pair of 49er
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1:27:30>> They're great, dude. I like it. They
1:27:31don't Also, they don't just make amazing
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1:27:35rugby shirts, button-downs. They're
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1:27:39to the night on the town.
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1:27:53>> Brick and mortar. We're going to give
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1:28:28the ad reads.
1:28:29>> No, we're done. No, we're not done. real
1:28:30quick. Uh, speaking of
1:28:32>> all time, what
1:28:35>> uh Joe texted the group and asked if
1:28:38Shane uh was killing better or like
1:28:40funnier than him.
1:28:42>> Yeah.
1:28:42>> Oh god, what do we say? What do we say?
1:28:44>> Do you guys want to call him?
1:28:47>> Great. Sure, I'll call him.
1:28:49>> I mean, don't hurt his feelings.
1:28:53>> Everybody wants the truth. Oh, no.
1:28:56>> Love the truth. Shane being funnier than
1:28:58me is going to be a brutal [ __ ]
1:29:01discovery.
1:29:02>> Tell him no.
1:29:04>> Can we just simply state the vibes are
1:29:05high?
1:29:08>> How do we explain it to him in a way
1:29:10that doesn't hurt?
1:29:11>> Yeah,
1:29:11>> the vibes are good, dude. People having
1:29:13fun.
1:29:15>> We've been having a lot of fun.
1:29:16>> Yeah, this is good. We miss you.
1:29:18>> Oh, god damn.
1:29:19>> Are you calling him?
1:29:20>> Yeah, I am.
1:29:21>> Your mom was so funny, dude. You're
1:29:22like, "What about the plaque?" She's
1:29:24>> perpetrator. You're saying something
1:29:25evil. Yeah, you are.
1:29:26>> I'm pulling on my contacts. It's not For
1:29:28some reason, it wasn't pulling Joe up.
1:29:29>> Damn, you deleted Joe from your contacts
1:29:31after he missed one show.
1:29:32>> Damn.
1:29:33>> God damn, dude. You're ruthless. The
1:29:35goatee is sick, though. Shane's not
1:29:37wrong.
1:29:37>> Yeah, you look
1:29:38>> great.
1:29:39>> Yeah, that shit's that [ __ ] [ __ ] rules.
1:29:41>> Sick.
1:29:41>> Makes you look scarier.
1:29:42>> Yeah,
1:29:43>> does handsome.
1:29:46>> He needs to look scarier.
1:29:47>> You look Yeah, he needs to look scarier
1:29:49for the Narvo technique.
1:29:51>> Oh, [ __ ] you, Joe.
1:29:53>> Really, dude? Do it again cuz he might
1:29:54have really dude.
1:29:56>> Well, you call the first time and it
1:29:57goes right to void. That is true.
1:29:58>> You got to call twice. You always got
1:29:59>> Yeah, we were all psychos and had to
1:30:01break through. Do not disturb.
1:30:02>> That's You know what's so funny?
1:30:03>> Crazy person trait to be like call
1:30:05again.
1:30:05>> Is it's so funny? Bobby's revealing that
1:30:07and I did not realize it. Call twice in
1:30:09a row.
1:30:09>> That is the reason you always get
1:30:10through. Sit there playing. And it's
1:30:12ringing by calling. Oh my god.
1:30:14>> Oh my god.
1:30:16>> Oh, and he deaded me. You [ __ ]
1:30:18>> Let me call him. He'll answer for me.
1:30:20>> Wow.
1:30:21What a piece of [ __ ] you are.
1:30:23>> Thanks for coming on the show.
1:30:26>> No problem.
1:30:27>> Long time.
1:30:27>> You're back. You're officially back in
1:30:28New York.
1:30:29>> Uh, no. I I'll spend more time in Texas.
1:30:31>> But you, but you got a place here.
1:30:32>> Got a place here.
1:30:33>> I want to come see it.
1:30:34>> You should.
1:30:34>> Is it nice?
1:30:35>> Cool. Yeah, it's nice.
1:30:36>> It's obviously awesome.
1:30:37>> It's obviously nice. It's also right by
1:30:38my favorite lunch. He's like, "No, he
1:30:40moved."
1:30:40>> First place I ever owned. I like
1:30:41>> That's cool.
1:30:42>> Yeah. Feels good.
1:30:43>> That's really cool. That's the first
1:30:44place you ever owned.
1:30:44>> Yeah. Roford.
1:30:45>> An apartment. Roford's hooking it up.
1:30:47Roford's the [ __ ] You don't You don't
1:30:49own Texas? No,
1:30:51>> you just rent.
1:30:52>> I rent. Yeah.
1:30:53>> Is it downtown? Are you out Are you like
1:30:55a house?
1:30:55>> I'm outside of town.
1:30:56>> Outside of town. Yeah.
1:30:57>> This house is awesome in Austin.
1:30:58>> It's It's a great place. I like coming.
1:31:00You
1:31:00>> No, I like the fact that it feels like
1:31:02that you don't want to have really nice
1:31:03house. It's pretty cool that it's
1:31:04>> No, I think it's fine. You know what it
1:31:06is?
1:31:06>> It's uh rookie NFL contract house.
1:31:09>> It is. When I moved in, I was like,
1:31:10"This is literally the nicest house I've
1:31:11ever seen."
1:31:12>> It was rookie NFL contract
1:31:13>> two years. I'm like, "Fuck."
1:31:14>> Yeah.
1:31:15>> Have you seen Whitney Cumins house? I
1:31:17went to Whitney Cumins house once. It
1:31:18was wild.
1:31:19>> It is. I mean, it's the nicest house
1:31:21I've ever seen.
1:31:21>> She's got a [ __ ] zoo behind you.
1:31:22>> Yeah, she made like 45 million off
1:31:24[ __ ] TV shows.
1:31:25>> It's [ __ ] wild.
1:31:26>> Damn.
1:31:26>> There was a time where I thought I could
1:31:27have banged Whitney.
1:31:29>> Why not?
1:31:29>> Why is it gone?
1:31:31>> Um I She's with that skater now, right?
1:31:34>> I don't know.
1:31:35>> Oh, yeah.
1:31:36>> But yeah, I felt one time that she
1:31:37actually threw it at me.
1:31:38>> Really? Were you bronzed? Had you just
1:31:41been sucked and [ __ ]
1:31:42>> Were you bronzed?
1:31:43>> Uh,
1:31:45no. I had a girlfriend at the time. I
1:31:46would have done it though. I like I I'm
1:31:48never wrong when when I think a girl
1:31:49wants to [ __ ] me. I definitely 100%. Of
1:31:51course.
1:31:51>> And she she had a baby.
1:31:52>> You've never been Well, if you're wrong,
1:31:54it's a felony.
1:31:56>> Yeah.
1:31:56>> You're going to be doing maybe 25 the
1:31:58life.
1:31:59>> Hey, wake up. I know.
1:32:01>> Hey. Hey, lady. I just came in that
1:32:03window.
1:32:04>> You want to [ __ ] me, right? I understand
1:32:06that you're confused seeing you here.
1:32:10>> Oh, this is your bedroom and you're
1:32:11asleep about to go to work.
1:32:12>> I could be wrong, but Oh,
1:32:14>> the We're really about to do this.
1:32:17Uh yeah, but and then she had a baby a
1:32:19year later. I think she just wanted to
1:32:20get I would I could have put a baby in
1:32:21Whitney and just
1:32:22>> she knew your Puerto Rican seed was
1:32:23>> I would have [ __ ] I would have
1:32:25impregnated the [ __ ] out of her then.
1:32:26That would have been that. I'm like,
1:32:27"Look, just give me like 3 mil a year.
1:32:29I'll be out of life.
1:32:30>> She's going to pay you to stay out of
1:32:31her life."
1:32:32>> Yeah. Literally, I'll never say
1:32:33anything. But I won't talk about it on
1:32:35the rigs.
1:32:37>> I'll never tell anyone the baby comes
1:32:38out of
1:32:42>> Baba. They go, "Have you seen Whitney
1:32:44Cummings's baby as a podcast?" Yeah.
1:32:46>> First word was the N word.
1:32:48>> Yeah,
1:32:48>> it's pretty crazy.
1:32:49>> Subscribe.
1:32:51>> You know how to say subscribe.
1:32:53>> How do you learn that word?
1:32:54>> Let's do plugs.
1:32:56>> Plugs.
1:32:58>> This is fun.
1:32:59>> What else is going on? You had uh you
1:33:01guys have any topics or you just I mean
1:33:02I brought show up and mail it in.
1:33:04>> We have Well, we usually never came up a
1:33:05topic topics.
1:33:06>> You notice we ride waves on this show?
1:33:08>> Yeah. It goes up and then we come down
1:33:10and then we're looking out for the other
1:33:11wave.
1:33:11>> I understand. And then you go again.
1:33:13It's
1:33:13>> Oh, sometimes it doesn't come. Sometimes
1:33:15it does come and we go, you know what?
1:33:16Let's get out of this.
1:33:17>> I lead a very interesting life. These
1:33:19guys are, you know, milk toast.
1:33:21>> What are you talking about?
1:33:22>> I lead a very interesting life.
1:33:24>> It's always up to something.
1:33:25>> You I lead a [ __ ] interesting life.
1:33:27>> It's not a competition, Bobby.
1:33:28>> It always is.
1:33:29>> It's not a competition. But you're not a
1:33:31more You don't have a more interesting
1:33:32life than
1:33:32>> Well, how is your life more interesting
1:33:34than anybody else?
1:33:35>> Substantially more interesting than
1:33:36yours
1:33:36>> than than mine.
1:33:37>> Yours specifically yours.
1:33:40>> In Louiswis's defense, he is out getting
1:33:42into a herotic adventure. eventual
1:33:44fighting erotic.
1:33:45>> I I He's fighting I literally fight I
1:33:48literally fight
1:33:49>> I travel out of the country all the
1:33:50time. I run multiple businesses.
1:33:52>> He makes love.
1:33:53>> Yeah. I mean it's a pretty interesting
1:33:54life. Like you
1:33:55>> Yeah. My basement's just not flooded.
1:33:58>> Got him.
1:33:58>> Yeah. That's an interesting thing. It's
1:33:59a very interesting fact.
1:34:00>> What would you say is interesting
1:34:02>> about my life? And I'm not being a
1:34:04[ __ ]
1:34:06>> Thank you.
1:34:09>> That's not a [ __ ] thing to ask
1:34:10somebody.
1:34:13It's not an absolute horseshit thing to
1:34:15say to somebody's face. What's
1:34:17interesting about you?
1:34:18>> What do you do? That's
1:34:20>> mildly [ __ ] interesting.
1:34:21>> Not at all. That will take my attention.
1:34:23>> I'm a [ __ ] dad. I [ __ ]
1:34:25>> I do a lot of [ __ ] with my kid. I
1:34:27>> do a lot of lot of [ __ ] with my kid.
1:34:28>> I thought it wasn't a competition.
1:34:30>> I'm just saying, dude. This is Chinese.
1:34:32Do things that I don't do.
1:34:33>> When I went to Austin, I did I went to
1:34:34[ __ ] Waco. I went to Wimbley. I went
1:34:38to Watering Holes. I went to check it
1:34:39out. went to the silo thing. Did
1:34:42>> you pay your respect?
1:34:42>> I made I went to Dr. Pepper factory,
1:34:45made my own ducks and pepper.
1:34:46>> Really?
1:34:47>> Yeah. It was awesome.
1:34:48>> Dr. Pepper's in Bobby, you're back.
1:34:51>> Hey, hey, hey, watch out here.
1:34:54>> Guys, tell him we can't do we we got we
1:34:56got a recipe factory.
1:34:58>> You went to the doctor. I brought my
1:35:00doctor here. That's pretty
1:35:01>> pretty interesting.
1:35:02>> That's pretty interesting.
1:35:02>> Yeah. This [ __ ] thing in my foot.
1:35:06>> Trying to get the blood pressure checked
1:35:07out.
1:35:08>> I got a sciatica. What are the flavors?
1:35:10>> Uh went to the silos in Waco.
1:35:13>> I mean, this is interesting.
1:35:14>> Yeah.
1:35:14>> I went to the [ __ ]
1:35:15>> went to an old west town. That's not
1:35:17really an old west town, but this made
1:35:19up. Went swimming at the Blue Hole.
1:35:21>> Went swimming at the Dr. Pepper factory.
1:35:25>> I jumped into a giant pepper factory.
1:35:28>> We We toured the whole factory.
1:35:30>> How much Dr. Pepper do they give you?
1:35:32>> You can you get one,
1:35:34>> but it's a it's a you can get a float
1:35:36Dr. The pepper
1:35:36>> straight from the doctor
1:35:38>> or we actually doctor's order
1:35:39>> we the prescription thing they give you
1:35:42take that to the
1:35:42>> well funny you say that Dr. Pepper was
1:35:45invented because they sold it as
1:35:47something that would help your health.
1:35:49Soda was Yeah. Back in the day when they
1:35:50would didn't know how to [ __ ]
1:35:52>> here's heroin and coke. Bayer invented
1:35:54heroin
1:35:55>> back in the day. They were like [ __ ]
1:35:56this will help you with your you know
1:35:58ailments. They thought soda would help
1:36:00with certain things. So
1:36:01>> it's like Guinness used to do the thing
1:36:03at drugs where they're like drink you're
1:36:05strong. Like no just you'll fight your
1:36:07wife.
1:36:07>> You're going to feel strong.
1:36:08>> You're going to feel strong. Feel tough.
1:36:10Her bone density is lighter than yours.
1:36:12We took a class
1:36:13>> flipping your WhatsApp.
1:36:15>> They took a class where we all got to
1:36:17make our own flavored Dr. Pepper.
1:36:18>> What was yours?
1:36:19>> But Dr. Pepper is its own flavor.
1:36:21>> No, they have a bunch of different
1:36:22flavors.
1:36:22>> They're starting to do the new flavor.
1:36:23>> No, they've had them for years. They've
1:36:24had all kinds.
1:36:25>> Orange Dr. Pepper. Vanilla.
1:36:26>> They have orange. They have blackberry.
1:36:29They have Which one did you make?
1:36:30>> I made uh blueberry, vanilla, and uh the
1:36:34very uh elusive
1:36:36>> uh Dr. Pepper cream.
1:36:39>> You made You made body brain Dr. Pepper.
1:36:42Yeah.
1:36:43>> Yeah. Back when uh in the Old West when
1:36:44people would sell like [ __ ] elixir.
1:36:46>> [ __ ] So
1:36:46>> anyway, let's get to that read.
1:36:50>> Boy, do I got a snake oil for you.
1:36:52>> Rattlesnake oil salesman.
1:36:54>> You ever get bitten by rattlesnake?
1:36:55>> Well, Dr. Gome Dr. Gomez,
1:36:58>> I've traveled all across this great
1:37:00land.
1:37:00>> We should get him a wagon.
1:37:01>> He's got a wagon. The gas digital wagon.
1:37:03I have a [ __ ] hot air balloon.
1:37:07>> Well, hello people of Podcastville.
1:37:09Yeah.
1:37:10>> Hello. Are you guys tired?
1:37:11>> It's run out of town. It's run out of
1:37:14podcasts.
1:37:15>> Yo, I was just over in Radioville. They
1:37:17said you were selling some people in
1:37:19Radio.
1:37:20>> Anyway, I got to go.
1:37:22>> We have to get him.
1:37:24>> [ __ ] [ __ ] They're on to me.
1:37:26>> What do you want? Can't ride to the next
1:37:28town.
1:37:29Where's going? That's so [ __ ] funny.
1:37:32That would be the only thing I'd ever
1:37:34use AI for is to make Louis [ __ ]
1:37:39I've just written in. I heard the heat
1:37:41was
1:37:43>> blind blind mic is a guy.
1:37:45>> I can cure it. He's like he works for
1:37:49me. He's like he's like I'm sure having
1:37:51problems with my brain and my body.
1:37:53Interesting you should say so. He walks
1:37:55around the wagon and then Paco comes
1:37:57out. Wow, that really worked.
1:38:02I can make this 350lb man fly
1:38:08drowning help.
1:38:12>> He would have definitely had a wagon.
1:38:14>> Yeah.
1:38:14>> Back in the 1800s.
1:38:16>> You've been a wagon guy.
1:38:16>> That's all I'm going to That's how I'm
1:38:18going to picture.
1:38:18>> A tight vest
1:38:20>> with a with a watch.
1:38:22>> Although I do train comes in.
1:38:23>> I'd do like 49er Lewis.
1:38:25>> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Prom Lewis.
1:38:28>> Yeah. It's good.
1:38:28>> It's how his brain works. Oh, that's
1:38:31another skankist show.
1:38:33>> Hey, here's Joe List.
1:38:35>> Finally,
1:38:36>> Joe List, you're live.
1:38:37>> He called him back.
1:38:38>> Did you live on the regs with everybody?
1:38:40Hi, buddy. How you doing,
1:38:41>> Joey? Joe, we miss you.
1:38:46>> Do you?
1:38:47>> Yes, we miss you, dude. We love you.
1:38:50>> I tried calling Shane back cuz I thought
1:38:51it'd be funnier, but he didn't answer.
1:38:53>> No, he's got you blocked.
1:38:55>> Yeah.
1:38:57>> What What have you guys been talking
1:38:59about? Have you mentioned Skankfest the
1:39:00movie?
1:39:02>> No mention.
1:39:02>> No, we've actually gotten out of the
1:39:03loop for that. It's been so fun and
1:39:06refreshing today's show.
1:39:08>> Oh, is that right?
1:39:09>> No, it's not. Lewis is being mean. Uh
1:39:11Joe, I want you to when you get off the
1:39:12phone to Google the Darvo method. You'll
1:39:15notice some similarities on how Lewis
1:39:17treats us.
1:39:18>> Yeah.
1:39:19>> And that's what we've been discussing.
1:39:22>> Darvo. D A R V O.
1:39:24>> Correct. It's an acronym. And you'll
1:39:26notice it's almost point for point
1:39:28exactly how we've been treated by our
1:39:29friend Lewis for the last 20 years.
1:39:30>> The perpetrator himself.
1:39:31>> The per Oh, he's got a Shane gave him a
1:39:33new nickname. He is now the perpetrator.
1:39:36>> Wow. And Darbo says to keep the shirt
1:39:39money.
1:39:42>> He's going to lash out. He's about to
1:39:43hit him with a DO. Straight to Dormo.
1:39:46>> Joe, you're about to see it in real
1:39:47time.
1:39:48>> That literally did not happen. You [ __ ]
1:39:51me.
1:39:52That's it every time.
1:39:55It never happened. The wrongdoing here.
1:39:57>> Why are you doing this to me?
1:39:57>> There's no wrongdoing.
1:39:58>> Why are you doing this to me?
1:40:00>> Why are you doing this to me? This
1:40:01always happens to me to Why are you gay?
1:40:04>> Why are you gay?
1:40:05>> Why are you gay?
1:40:06>> The funniest ones when they did the Xbox
1:40:08and the PlayStation players and they
1:40:09said the those guys. It was the Xbox
1:40:12player going, "Oh, hey, sorry, Joe.
1:40:13We're we're have such good chemistry. We
1:40:14forgot you were on the phone. Oh my god,
1:40:16we got taken away."
1:40:19>> Joe,
1:40:19>> no, that's okay. I'm on the ocean right
1:40:21now. It's delightful. Nice. I cannot
1:40:23wait to quit.
1:40:27>> Are you having a good time?
1:40:28>> That's awesome, dude. You're on the
1:40:29ocean. That reminds me of my basement,
1:40:31actually.
1:40:32>> His basement flooded. Yeah,
1:40:34>> but he just got the bomb. Dana, I'm just
1:40:36giving you the call for call.
1:40:37>> It's a call back to a guy that's
1:40:39>> He wasn't here for the Everyone else was
1:40:41though.
1:40:41>> It was the first bomb of the show, by
1:40:43the way.
1:40:43>> You're a joke. It really was the first
1:40:44bomb of the show.
1:40:46>> Just Just your mom's bomb.
1:40:48>> Mom bomb.
1:40:48>> Oh, my mom bombed, too.
1:40:51Did you call your mom?
1:40:52>> Yeah, I did. It was
1:40:53>> because he had a madeup story about how
1:40:54he caught a ball. Joe, tell him the
1:40:56story. Tell Joe the story.
1:40:59>> Joe's actually an athlete.
1:41:00>> First of all, first of all, I want to
1:41:01say I love Bobb's mom's bombs.
1:41:05>> Yeah, there he is. We still got his good
1:41:07stuff. He's got his good stuff.
1:41:09>> Oh, we got it.
1:41:11>> Le just put the the bomb bandetta over
1:41:13my phone. Um,
1:41:17>> is it is he going to make it disappear?
1:41:20I'll put
1:41:20>> All right, now it's back on. What the
1:41:22hell?
1:41:23>> Wow. I've never We've never had a phone
1:41:24bomb. Also,
1:41:25>> I don't think we've ever had two bombs
1:41:27in a row within 10 seconds. What a one,
1:41:29two.
1:41:30>> Wow.
1:41:31>> He does magic. So, you think when he
1:41:34puts over something because
1:41:35>> Oh, we got it. We got it.
1:41:36>> Wow.
1:41:37>> Anyways, we got to go.
1:41:40>> Wait. What's the What's the Bobby story?
1:41:42>> Wait till you hear the description of
1:41:44how he says he caught a ball in the
1:41:46outfield.
1:41:46>> Joe is a good Joe is an athlete. Joe's
1:41:49good at baseball.
1:41:50>> Have you ever seen any baseball player
1:41:52catch a ball like this?
1:41:53>> Bobby, describe it.
1:41:54>> I was uh it was West Medford Hillside.
1:41:57Uh we're playing for the championship
1:41:59and Why are you laughing at that?
1:42:01>> I just
1:42:02>> And then uh I was in left field and uh
1:42:05last out of the game, hit to left field.
1:42:08I slid in.
1:42:14>> Godamn Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe. I I trained
1:42:19him well.
1:42:20>> Oh my god, that was that was some
1:42:22>> That's like watching someone flip the
1:42:23sensor.
1:42:24>> It's like you look down, your sword's
1:42:26not in its holster, sir.
1:42:29>> I learned from you.
1:42:30>> Wow, that was a good [ __ ] habit.
1:42:32>> What a way to end.
1:42:33>> If he calls back though, he'll [ __ ]
1:42:34ruin it.
1:42:34>> He won't ruin it. He won't call. He
1:42:36knows. He's smart.
1:42:37>> Oh, this was fun as hell, dude.
1:42:38>> That was a good This This is [ __ ]
1:42:40great. Shane, thanks for doing that. We
1:42:41love you, dude. I love the Rex.
1:42:43>> You're the best.
1:42:43>> We love you.
1:42:44>> We love you. and your uh you got your
1:42:46big gig coming up your Are you nervous
1:42:49about that?
1:42:50>> [ __ ] yeah.
1:42:52>> I can't even do stand up to prepare for
1:42:54it.
1:42:55>> What are you going to
1:42:56>> just going to hope it comes to me?
1:42:59>> I don't know.
1:42:59>> You're just going to You're going to get
1:43:00hit with the spirit.
1:43:03>> How How much time do you have to do?
1:43:05>> It's up to me. I don't know.
1:43:06>> You can't do an hour.
1:43:07>> I'm definitely not doing an hour.
1:43:08>> You can't you got to do like
1:43:09>> I think 40 to 45.
1:43:11>> No,
1:43:12>> no, no. I mean, if you're
1:43:14>> How many people you have on?
1:43:15>> Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, if you're
1:43:16killing, you're right.
1:43:17>> And there's there's guests.
1:43:18>> It's funny. Who can you You can't say.
1:43:20>> I cannot.
1:43:21>> He's told me the top line.
1:43:23>> It's [ __ ] awesome.
1:43:23>> I know a couple people.
1:43:24>> It's [ __ ] awesome. Comedian.
1:43:26>> Can you edit this out?
1:43:27>> Uh, yeah, we don't.
1:43:29>> I don't want to know. I don't want to
1:43:30know.
1:43:31>> He's like,
1:43:31>> don't straight to Twitter.
1:43:32>> Are you going to Are you going to go up
1:43:34at is it going to be like you at the end
1:43:35or you going to host it and bring them
1:43:37up in between?
1:43:38>> There's some special guests that are
1:43:39[ __ ]
1:43:40>> That's [ __ ] great. I'm going to try
1:43:41to go uh
1:43:42>> I'm more excited. Yeah, I'm just excited
1:43:43to see the special guest.
1:43:45>> They're going to flip out.
1:43:45>> Yeah, right.
1:43:46>> Should be fun.
1:43:47>> Who? And the person going before you is
1:43:48that Holy [ __ ]
1:43:50>> Just come see the show.
1:43:51>> Hopefully see the show. That person's a
1:43:53little flaky. So, we'll see.
1:43:54>> Really?
1:43:55>> Yeah.
1:43:55>> It's going to be awesome.
1:43:56>> Right now, I'm planning for them not to
1:43:57be there, but we'll see.
1:43:59>> Wow. Okay.
1:44:00>> But the rest of it is great.
1:44:01>> You heard it here first.
1:44:02>> I like it.
1:44:02>> What a great show.
1:44:03>> I'll be at the uh
1:44:05>> I'll be at New York Stanford. Yeah, I
1:44:08saw that on your
1:44:09>> I'll be in I know see me at Uncle
1:44:12Vinny's that weekend.
1:44:13>> Uh shanemgillis.com
1:44:16for tickets.
1:44:17>> We're all playing little tiny venues.
1:44:20>> It's Dude, I'm so [ __ ] happy for you.
1:44:21>> I can't wait to see it.
1:44:22>> I think it's so cool.
1:44:24>> I also think I also think it's so funny.
1:44:26It's the second friend Jay has had.
1:44:28Sellout Link.
1:44:30>> Jay has so many friends that do his
1:44:32favorite stadium. It's very
1:44:33>> well. So funny because like I I did a
1:44:34couple shows with you. These are, you
1:44:36know, massive shows. And people are
1:44:37like, dude, it's like, are you [ __ ]
1:44:38nervous? Like Norman, I was like
1:44:39surprised. Like Norman was like really
1:44:41like in his head before he went up
1:44:42>> and I was like, no, I performed for 60
1:44:46people.
1:44:47>> Boo.
1:44:48>> For real.
1:44:49>> [ __ ] boo.
1:44:52>> Nice.
1:44:54>> Yeah, dude. But it's Yeah, it's [ __ ]
1:44:56>> the stadium thing that'll be nice is
1:44:57when I'm bombing, I can just go say boom
1:44:59boom boom. Everybody say 80,000 people.
1:45:05Section 123. How you feeling? I'd be
1:45:08doing that [ __ ] if I was on
1:45:09>> bombing.
1:45:11Getting an Eagles chant going,
1:45:12>> dude. That's going to be awesome.
1:45:14>> Yeah.
1:45:15>> And uh Yeah. [ __ ] yeah.
1:45:17>> This was very fun.
1:45:18>> That was a good time.
1:45:19>> I love you guys.
1:45:20>> Love you guys, too. Shane, thanks for
1:45:21coming in. Dan Soda, everybody check out
1:45:24Joe List, please. He's in Maine right
1:45:25now, but send him some love. And uh
1:45:28Lewis J. Gomez is working on his
1:45:30basement. I'm going to be doing
1:45:31interesting stuff all over with my
1:45:33family. I'll be touring working on a new
1:45:35one.
1:45:35>> I'm going to get that [ __ ] ad and I'm
1:45:36sending it to you. [ __ ] Bob Kelly.
1:45:38>> I'd love that,
1:45:39>> dude. Yeah. Get a replay of you sliding
1:45:40on your knees.
1:45:41>> Yeah. [ __ ] David.
1:45:42>> There's no video cameras.
1:45:43>> Were you David Lee Roth?
1:45:45>> [ __ ] out of here.
1:45:47>> [ __ ] power slide.
1:45:49>> Crazy [ __ ]
1:45:50>> That's how I remember it.
1:45:52>> Of course. But now that you're thinking
1:45:54about it, there's no way
1:45:55>> I was.
1:45:56>> You know how fast you'd have to be
1:45:58running to be able to
1:46:00>> It's just on your on both knees. Yeah,
1:46:02both knees.
1:46:03>> That slide is like
1:46:06>> Was it like a mud pit? Like Woodstock?
1:46:08>> No, I didn't slide. I didn't slide for
1:46:10like feet. I just went on my knees and
1:46:12caught it and slid a little bit.
1:46:13>> Oh, like James Brown like
1:46:15>> I didn't like go bang and then keep
1:46:17going. It wasn't like a [ __ ] rock
1:46:19video. I
1:46:20>> No, you made it sound like you caught IT
1:46:21AND YOU'RE LIKE,
1:46:23>> "All right." More so I I caught it on my
1:46:25knees.
1:46:26>> That sound better.
1:46:29>> All right, we'll see you guys later.
1:46:30>> I think I got that Dr. Pepper.
1:46:32We'll see you guys next time on the
1:46:33regs.

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