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Зависимость. Как перестать быть рабом? — Transcript

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0:03Namaskar. I grew up in a village where
0:06it seemed like an invisible war was
0:08raging. Literally every other house,
0:11grown people, grown men, were dying
0:14from alcohol. And then I grew up a
0:17little, and my peers started to quit,
0:19but from even more terrible things,
0:21from even more terrible addictions.
0:24This story isn't about how bad it is to
0:25have an addiction. We all understand
0:28that perfectly well. But it's about
0:31this hunger that drives us to the very
0:34edge. This isn't specifically about
0:36alcohol. It's because one principle
0:39lies behind everything, behind all our
0:42vices and all our virtues. The same
0:47principle—you can have an addiction
0:50to speed, an addiction to risk, maybe
0:52even a kind of achievement-driven,
0:54workaholism—but this story is about
0:57exactly what we're looking for. And for
1:01us, especially, it's ours, I would say,
1:03a national trait. That is, for us, at
1:07least, maybe things have changed now,
1:10but when I was growing up, it wasn't,
1:16in my circle, some kind of weakness or,
1:20well, something that was frowned upon.
1:24I mean, alcohol is almost a virtue.
1:28It's almost a virtue. And the attitude
1:31towards a sober person was skeptical.
1:34That is, a sober person is boring, he's
1:39small, he's a bourgeois. That is, he
1:44lives and it's unclear why he lives,
1:47and I live in a torn state. There is
1:51such a romanticism, yes, this
1:52romanticization of all these things.
1:55And in fact, this thing is very
1:58ambiguous. And indeed, I still, I look
2:03now, and 30 years have passed, and I,
2:06well, of course, have re-evaluated many
2:09things, but I still can't say that I
2:12completely, I don't condemn people who
2:16are addicted. And in some ways, I even,
2:19well, agree. I agree with that, I feel
2:22like I do too, basically, it's just
2:24that for me it all happens differently.
2:27And if you look at it, it's somewhere
2:29on the edge, let's not over-romanticize
2:32it, because there were brilliant people
2:34, absolutely sober, absolutely
2:35disciplined. But we know the fathers of
2:40our culture, take Dostoevsky. He played
2:45roulette for eight years and was, in
2:49his own words, hanging over the abyss,
2:53looking in, and sometimes throwing
2:57himself into that abyss. Yes. And this
3:04narcotic state of searching for the
3:06thrill of life, this hunt. Or remember,
3:10for example, Vladimir Vysotsky, what he
3:12says. He says: "But my horses are
3:17somehow finicky. I won't live to see it
3:21, so at least I can finish singing." He
3:23doesn't say, "Come on, horses, stop."
3:26No, he says, a little slower, a little
3:29slower. Yes, I want to. You don't
3:32listen to the lash. I use this lash of
3:35mine to beat my horses. Why do I beat
3:39my horses with a whip? It's about this
3:43nerve, this strain. A person wants to
3:46enter this gap. He wants to look
3:50through this abyss, look through this
3:52darkness, and enter this gap for what?
3:56To enter paradise. I'll tell you a
3:59little bit of my story. Today I'm a
4:02monk, a meditator with thirty years of
4:04experience. And the last thirty years
4:08have been a life of very strict
4:10discipline and complete purity. That's
4:13it. Well, it wasn't always like this.
4:14And I should start the story with my
4:16childhood. Here I am, growing up in the
4:18village. I watch as my neighbors,
4:21people I like, people I love, good
4:24people, my own father, gradually, due
4:26to addiction, lose their humanity and
4:29gradually perish. Someone died, you
4:33know, fell asleep and never woke up,
4:36someone got into some kind of mischief,
4:38yeah, that's where they died, yeah,
4:40someone died of cirrhosis, like my
4:42father. And I just look at this
4:46behavior. And as a child, it hurts me
4:49deeply. And I think, I make a promise
4:52to myself never, never, never in my
4:54life will I use drugs. I will always be
4:57a sober person. Well, what do you think
5:00? I'm 13 years old, and for the first
5:02time I come home completely unconscious
5:04. My sister, she looked at me, that is,
5:08I remember this frame exactly. This
5:11frame is what I remember. That's it, I
5:13don't remember anything else. I
5:14remember this frame. And she says: "
5:16Well, come on." I'm like: "She, let's
5:19go, let's go, let's go." And she put me
5:22to bed, hid me from my parents, covered
5:24me, and was like: "That's it, go to
5:26sleep, don't get up, don't even think
5:28about getting up." Well, it's clear
5:31that I was throwing up all night, all
5:33night this drama was going on. But it
5:36didn't go away secretly, and the next
5:38morning I had very serious
5:40conversations with my parents. So. Well
5:42, do you think that stopped me? No. By
5:44the time I was 15, it had become
5:47regular. By 18, it was already, well,
5:51essentially alcoholism. That is, at 18,
5:54I was already having such serious
5:57binges. And the last one, the very last
6:00one, was at, well, 18, 64 days. 64 days
6:05of complete hopelessness. And then,
6:09well, a miracle happened. In my life.
6:12It's like Dostoevsky. And this is such
6:16an interesting thing with addiction:
6:18you repent, you feel ashamed, you make
6:25a promise to yourself, especially when
6:28you feel ashamed, you think: "That's it
6:31, I'll never give in, you blame
6:33yourself for it, you somehow lash
6:35yourself with these psychological whips
6:38." But then the moment comes again, and
6:42at that moment you lose control, and
6:44again you fall apart, and nothing
6:46happens. So, again and again you go in
6:50this circle, and gradually you watch
6:53yourself slide downhill. So, you go,
6:56you know that you're heading towards
6:58the cliff. I saw it with my own eyes
7:00clearly, how this one died, this one
7:02died, this one died. And the
7:04degradation happens. You see this
7:07degradation, and you can't do anything
7:09about it. It's just going downhill. You
7:13roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. That's it
7:16. And then a real miracle happened.
7:19Maybe a miracle is happening in your
7:21life now, or maybe in the life of that
7:24loved one to whom you can send this
7:26video. It's like Dostoevsky, he lost a
7:30game of drysk and went for a walk, went
7:32to look for a church there, he needed
7:34to confess there. And then he ran to
7:39his wife and said, "Darling, my crazy
7:43fantasy has finally let me go, and I'm
7:48free now." And after that, he never
7:51gambled again. So, a revolution
7:53happened, a spiritual revolution. Well,
7:55let's figure out the dynamics, what's
7:57happening and what we're looking for.
7:59What are we looking for in this process
8:01. I haven't stopped looking for it. I
8:03haven't stopped looking for it. I'm
8:05still suspicious of a sober person.
8:08Well, now, of course, I've been sober
8:09my whole life, and for me, that's
8:11normal. But there's a certain
8:13deep-seated essence to this shameful
8:16sobriety, and there's a dignified
8:19sobriety, and there's a sobriety, you
8:22know, shameful, yes, in which, um, well
8:25, a person seems to be asleep, as if
8:28he's in some kind of, you know, uh,
8:31living so carefully, uh, afraid, or
8:34something, to live, yes, afraid to live
8:37. For me, this kind of sobriety is
8:40shameful, but there's a dignified
8:43sobriety that a person lives by, even
8:46while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
8:50Let's figure it out. Well, first of all
8:53, addiction is about the vibrancy of
8:55life. You search, it's a hunt. I hunt
8:58for life. To feel the moment, to sense
9:03the rift, yes, to feel something
9:07special beyond the dull materiality.
9:13That's it. And you're constantly
9:14searching for this rift. And when it
9:16can be anything, it can be a game, it
9:19can be a risk, it can be some kind of
9:22substance, at that moment you get a
9:25surge, an unusually large amount of
9:28dopamine is released. What is dopamine?
9:31Dopamine is desire, that is,
9:34anticipation. And this was noticed even
9:37in ancient times. So, desiring desires,
9:41as the scriptures say, desiring desires
9:44, you desire desire, you desire this
9:48thrill. And our brain is so cunning. On
9:54the one hand, it wants to feel that
9:57high, it wants dopamine, but as soon as
10:00you get a flash, the brain says: "Oh,
10:02that's too strong, that's noisy." And
10:06it cranks up the volume. And then, when
10:09you come to, and the volume is already
10:12cranked up, and you look around and
10:14everything is so dull, no, well, it
10:17doesn't grab you at all. Grayness has
10:20set in. And now, in order to get back
10:22to normal, you're no longer hunting for
10:25some flash, but you're hunting for
10:27normality in order to enter this state
10:29of normality. That's it. And then, uh,
10:33a miracle happened in my life: I
10:35started, uh, meditating. I mean, look,
10:39it's a classic. Imagine a moth, and it
10:43flies towards the light. Why does it
10:47fly towards the light? It's the wrong
10:49moth. This is the most correct moth.
10:51That is, it has an instinct. He flies
10:53towards the sun, he flies towards the
10:55moon, that is, he navigates by light.
10:58But when this deceptive flame appears,
11:01it’s bright, right now nearby, he
11:03can’t help himself. He flies towards
11:06this flame. And then he burns in this
11:10flame, he perishes in this flame.
11:13It’s the same with man, that is, he
11:16breaks down the door behind which, in
11:19his opinion, lies paradise. But this
11:23door, it leads him into the abyss. That
11:26is, he enters there, but in fact, he
11:28ends up in hell. This is a very, uh,
11:34well, such a powerful deception, which
11:37works on everyone, uh, us. And until
11:40you find the right door and enter this
11:43right door, uh, you will be doomed to
11:46go through these circles of hell again
11:50and again. Relapse, repentance, promise
11:55. Again, relapse, repentance, promise.
11:59This is what it's all about, um, well,
12:00it seems to the person that I always
12:06blamed my dad too, that is, he gets
12:09drunk, and I scold him, I say: "Here's
12:13a thousand, I shame him, and so on."
12:18And this doesn't help the person at all
12:20. That is, no one, and even in this
12:22there is some hidden benefit for the
12:24person. So, well, what can you expect
12:26from me? Well, I'm an alcoholic, that's
12:27all. And he takes the position of this
12:31irresponsible person. Well, I'm such a
12:34fool, I'm such a good-for-nothing, I'm
12:36such an alcoholic, so what can you
12:38expect from me, for example? And this
12:40actually benefits the person. That is,
12:43it allows him to avoid taking
12:44responsibility. Therefore, when you
12:48accuse others of being weak, a wimp,
12:50pull yourself together, and so on, it
12:52doesn't heal the person in any way. On
12:56the contrary, it drives them further.
12:58And the person blames himself, he
13:00creates stress for himself, he drives
13:02himself further, deeper into this
13:04addiction. So this is not a solution.
13:06What is the solution? Well, I remember
13:09this transformation of mine. Ah, I
13:12started meditating. That's it. And
13:16little by little, thank God, my
13:19meditation teacher, by the way, by the
13:23way, he's from Italy, and he had a drug
13:26rehabilitation center when he was a
13:30junior monk. Everything was going wrong
13:33for him there. He says: "I even
13:36remember going to India to see our guru
13:38and he says:" He ignored me, I mean,
13:41there's a crowd of all these students
13:43who all want to break through there. "
13:47And I, he says, well, I'm so calm there
13:49at a distance. I'm watching, thinking:"
13:51Well, maybe he'll at least say a word
13:52to me, at least something? "He says:" I
13:54was there for a month, and I have such
13:56problems. "That is, something is not
13:58going well for me there. I think, well,
14:01at least give me some advice. No, no,
14:05no, no. Until the last day. And on the
14:08last day he says:" He, I'm coming. "And
14:13the guru drives by in a car, that is,
14:16they are driving him in a car, and the
14:20car stops slowly, stops, the window
14:23opens, the glass slides down, the guru
14:26looks out in such total peace, and he
14:30says:" Everything is going smoothly,
14:33isn't it? "And he says:" And what can I
14:37say? "I say:" True. "And, he says, this
14:42phrase, it just turned my mind around.
14:46I, he says, all the time it has become
14:48like my mantra. In any situation where
14:51I have a flood, uh, something is not
14:54going well, everything is going awry, I
14:56see this peaceful face and hear these
14:59words:" Everything is going smoothly,
15:01isn't it? "" He says, 'It's like
15:04mantra-ing.' And he had my Dadada, that
15:08is, he ran a rehabilitation center for
15:10drug addicts. And when I approached him
15:14, I said, 'Yes, I want to learn
15:17meditation, I'll have to quit drinking,
15:20smoking, or whatever.' He says, 'No, no
15:23, no, don't even think about it. Just
15:25meditate every day.' I say, 'What, just
15:28meditate, that's all you need to know.'
15:30You're not going to lecture me on life
15:31now, you're not going to lecture me on
15:32morals. "He says," No, no, no, just do
15:34it. "Meditation and see what happens.
15:40In 90%of cases, when people start
15:41meditating, they have a very hard time
15:43managing their attention. They're
15:46constantly responding, and so they
15:48can't feel, what kind of pleasure is
15:50this from meditation? What is it? So I
15:54recorded a five-minute audio recording
15:56for you that you can turn on your
15:58headphones, listen to, and sit and
16:00meditate along with my voice and feel
16:02this state of meditation. At least
16:04start to feel it. This is the state of
16:06meditation. Follow the first link and
16:09see you there. I'm all for it, well,
16:13actually, I quit a few times, I'll
16:14start to quit, I'll start to quit. Plus
16:16, this irregular lifestyle, you're in
16:19one state, then another. So you start
16:22to go, go, then suddenly, you have a
16:25breakdown and you quit. That's it. But
16:28then I I jumped up and started, so I
16:30hacked away and said that in any state
16:32I will do it for at least one minute,
16:35at least 5 minutes, I will do it. And a
16:39new voice opened up inside me, a new
16:42voice opened up. This voice told me,
16:46well, like a voice, like a desire, yes,
16:49like an inner desire. You're like a
16:54bird in a cage, but you know that
16:56somewhere there is freedom. And so your
17:00heart aches for this freedom. And I had
17:05this inner voice like this: I want
17:07purity. I want purity. I want a pure
17:11life. It's like this, you see: when a
17:14person has suffered enough, a person
17:16has suffered enough, he understands
17:17that he is in shackles, he is in chains
17:19. They say, as they say in philosophy:"
17:23muktya kaunkaya sadguru "prapte-this
17:26means that, experiencing the strongest
17:29desire for liberation, a person finds
17:32the ideal teacher. And so I meditate,
17:36meditate, meditate, and at some point I
17:38have an internal turn: that's it, I
17:41don't need this anymore. That is, not
17:45through struggle, not through some kind
17:48of tension, not through guilt, not
17:50through a drip on conscience, but
17:52simply an internal turn occurs, like in
17:55Dostoevsky. That is, once, but at that
17:58moment I understand that something has
18:00just happened, some kind of turn has
18:02just happened inside me, but I
18:03understand that I am weak. At that
18:06moment I had, in fact, you know, here,
18:09friends, yes, one so-called friend gave
18:13me a big bag with a plant that you can
18:17smoke and be generally at a height. And
18:23so, by that time, I had also been
18:25smoking something of it, probably for a
18:26month straight, constantly in a clouded
18:33state. And suddenly I understand that
18:37everything, I am freeing myself, I have
18:40suffered enough, I have suffered my
18:42share, and I have drunk my cup of this
18:45suffering, and now I am free. And what
18:49did I do then? I went and collected all
18:51this, I lived in the stove in my house,
18:53the stove is burning. I threw all this
18:56into this stove. I understand that I no
18:58longer need this I need to, but I don't
19:00trust myself. I know I'm weak and I
19:05need to stay away from these things. I
19:09just need to consciously stay away from
19:10these things. I burned it all off.
19:15There's just this ecstasy inside, this
19:17feeling. Do you think it all ended
19:20there? No, it didn't end there. My
19:25neighbors and my friends are starting
19:27to put a lot of pressure on me. They
19:30say," Have a drink with us. "I say,"
19:33Guys. "I say," Well, no, I'm saying,
19:37I'll organize everything you need, feed
19:40you, give you something to drink, I'll
19:43always accept you, but, well, no, you
19:45don't respect us. "Yes, it turns out I
19:48had fights over this. I ended up in the
19:51hospital because several people beat me
19:54up together. They beat me brutally
19:56simply because I refused to drink with
19:58them. Then it's okay, I got through it
20:03well. And the next level is my very,
20:06very close friend. He comes to me with
20:10all sorts of alcohol and I picked up
20:12some goodies, I brought everything.
20:15Let's do it. I say," No. "I say,"
20:17Brother, you're not telling me anything
20:19, brother, I can't. "I've made my
20:21decision. This is my promise to myself.
20:23I don't want to, I'm tired of this. You
20:27don't, that means you're not my enemy.
20:29Do you understand what these trials are
20:31like? And I had to make this sacrifice.
20:35That is, I say," Brother, I'm your
20:37friend, I'll do everything, you can
20:39come over at any moment, it's 3:00 in
20:40the morning, I'll light up the
20:42bathhouse for you, I'll feed you, I'll
20:44receive you, I'll always be with you.
20:47But I won't do this with you, I won't
20:49drink. You traded me in, traded me in
20:54for your sect there. Ta-ta-ta-ta.
20:57That's it, we didn't communicate with
20:58the person for 3 years. Then...Then he
21:00learned meditation, you see, it was
21:01also sitting in his head. What is this?
21:03A conflict arose in his head. How is
21:05this possible? He rejected me like that
21:08with my alcohol. That's it. Well, the
21:11first thing you need to do is get
21:14temptation out of sight, because no
21:18matter how you feel, you're not strong
21:22enough. You have to admit that I'm weak
21:24. I'm weak—it's a saving formula that
21:30sits inside you and protects you. Know
21:35that I'm weak. I'm weak. I can't. It's
21:37not like a little bit, yes, a little
21:39bit won't do. It will do a lot. Then
21:44you need to restore your natural
21:47dopamine. Natural dopamine—what is it
21:49? It's cold and hunger. It's cold and
21:52hunger. That's what helped me a lot.
21:56The practice of fasting. In general, I
21:59found all the strength in myself to
22:01quit everything after fasting. That is,
22:03I started fasting, and for me it was: "
22:06What an incredible asceticism." I was
22:08like, "Yes." Then, from then on, I
22:11started fasting four times a month. Now
22:13I've fasted 1,000 times, I've had this
22:17fast. But back then, for me, it was
22:19something completely incredible. I'm a
22:21superhero after fasting. It's as if the
22:25brain is simply being restored. The
22:27brain comes alive, and strength appears
22:29within it. Do you understand? Strength.
22:32That's spiritual strength. That is, you
22:35say to yourself: "No." That is, you
22:37know, like strength in the form of,
22:42well, I'll call it this kind of rage.
22:46Rage. That is, this is what I want,
22:49this is what I don't want. This kind of
22:53rage arose after fasting. It's cold.
22:57Cold, a cold shower. There's one story.
23:02The guy, he was right at the very
23:04bottom of his addiction, that is, he
23:06was almost dead. He started quitting
23:08and lived in this gray life. That is,
23:10life was dreary for him. He didn't
23:12understand why I gave up the substance,
23:14if this is such a life, what is it for?
23:16Yes, I saved my life. Well, why do I
23:18need such a life? That's it. And what
23:20did he do? He started taking very cold
23:23showers, then cold baths with ice. And
23:27he noticed that after this cold
23:29invigoration, he felt like oh, I woke
23:31up, because this dopamine peak occurs.
23:34You need to restore it naturally. This
23:38is cold, hunger, proper nutrition. You
23:42need, you need to walk, breathe fresh
23:45air, you need nature. The third thing
23:49is cortisol. Cortisol is stress. That
23:52is, often we, well, when we are in a
23:56normal state, we control ourselves. As
24:00soon as stress, the brain gets
24:03overloaded, and it runs, uh, to this
24:07familiar pleasure, yes. Therefore,
24:09stress needs to be relieved. Stress.
24:12Stress is through physical activity,
24:14and stress is through walks. Here, in
24:17the forest, here you are in nature, and
24:19automatically your stress goes away.
24:21Automatically goes away. Therefore, the
24:25correct regime of work, rest, overwork.
24:28Overwork is also very dangerous for a
24:30dependent person, because when you are
24:32overworked, your brain gets tired and
24:35it can no longer control impulses.
24:37Therefore, ah, don't be so tired. That
24:41is, look for it. That is, a day off,
24:43you need a day off. Watch a soulful
24:47movie, read a book, go to a concert, uh
24:50, go to a museum. You need this to stay
24:54at your best. You need to change your
24:59company. You need the company of people
25:03who are sober, yes, and who, uh, are on
25:06something else. On something else,
25:09because you still have to be on
25:10something. That's it. Well, and in the
25:13end, we come to the final thing. This
25:16is that addiction is about finding God.
25:20That's the spice of life. I want to
25:24read you a poem that I recently wrote.
25:28I realized that nothing has really
25:31changed in me. I'm just as dependent,
25:34only on the divine. But this is, uh,
25:39the fact that you meditate, you have
25:42the ability of your brain to experience
25:46the spice of life. And practically
25:50every day, my friend also explained
25:54this, he says: "I tell my friends, my
25:57alcoholics, with whom I used to have
26:00good relationships, and they say:" Why
26:03don't you drink? "He says:" How can I
26:06not drink? "For me, he says, each
26:08meditation is like a shot of vodka."
26:10And I, he says, twice a day. I say: "
26:16Even more of you, just for free and
26:19better quality and without the
26:21withdrawal symptoms, yes, without a
26:23hangover." And so he explained it to me
26:26the same way, my friend, and it really
26:27caught my attention. I think: "Well,
26:29yes, normal, good, a replacement." And
26:32gradually he trains. So I felt this
26:35from the first months, from the first
26:37days, in fact, of meditation, but now I
26:39feel it more and more acutely. That is,
26:43my experience of this gap, yes, this
26:46peak, so to speak, of life, this squeak
26:50of life, it is now very acute, and for
26:53this, no substances are needed. That is
26:59, for this, nothing external is
27:01required, that is, no extreme sports
27:03are needed, no games are needed, no
27:05romance is needed, nothing. That is, at
27:10a moment in my life, my soul is simply
27:13torn. It is torn, torn, as if now I
27:17will fly out of this physical body and
27:20fly free. This is the state. And I
27:24really value this state, I love it very
27:26much. I wrote a whole song about this.
27:31And if you want, you can listen to it.
27:34I have songs of eternal bliss on my
27:37Telegram channel. Or we have a song
27:41called "Night Prayer" on our Telegram
27:43meditation lessons channel. There. But
27:46what should you do in practice? Right
27:49now, I really believe in a miracle. But
27:54for a miracle to happen, you need to
27:56prepare the ground. Wherever you are,
27:59whatever your state, give yourself
28:01rules. I will meditate twice a day. I
28:07will pave an alternative path. This is
28:10my path. I am burning in the flame of a
28:14candle. I have no way to escape. What
28:17will help me? Only if I see the sun.
28:21Only if I see the moon. And I will
28:24understand that this candle flame is
28:27so-so, but the sun is wow. And I will
28:32make a conscious choice to fly to the
28:34sun. I will seek the present. I will
28:38seek real life. I'll understand that
28:40I'm caught in chains here. There's no
28:42life here, and I'll go look for a real
28:45life. Only then will it help. So you
28:48need to start twice a day. You need to
28:51meditate twice a day. A good time is 20
28:53minutes, 30 minutes. You can start with
28:565 minutes. And you need to start taking
28:59a shower, a cold shower. First, I have
29:01a video, you can watch how to do it. I
29:03describe the system right there, how to
29:06take a shower so that you experience
29:08the onset of your super-positive
29:11emotions. Yes, you need to take a
29:13shower according to the right technique
29:15, a cold shower. You need to start
29:17walking every day. Every day you need
29:18to throw everything away. Throw it all
29:21in the firebox. Well, or if you're weak
29:23, just meditate for now, yes, then this
29:25strength will come to you. So do as I
29:29tell you, everything will work out.
29:31That's it. Well, in order to understand
29:33how to meditate, we have a course
29:34called "The Consciousness of an
29:36Outstanding Personality." Take this
29:38course, you will understand everything,
29:39you will learn everything, and
29:41gradually this change It will happen
29:42invisibly. Like my dad, thank God he
29:45had experience. He didn't start blaming
29:48me, he didn't start telling me: "Oh,
29:50you're doing this wrong, this will be
29:51wrong. You're doing everything right,
29:55you're great, meditate, I bless you."
29:58Then it wasn't right away, it was about
30:01six months later, the next time I came,
30:03I measured up after that intoxicating
30:06stupor, there I told you about smoking,
30:08uh, vegetation, right? And so I came to
30:13him, and he looked at me, understood
30:15everything. And I don't know, I was, as
30:19they say, writhing, shaking there in
30:21his presence. That is, I fell asleep,
30:24as if some kind of nightmare was
30:26happening inside me. But then I dared.
30:30I say: "Yes, give me the second lesson
30:32in meditation." He says: "You did it
30:34first." I say: "With great difficulty,
30:35but I did it." I say: "I'm not a bad
30:38person, but I did it." He says: "That's
30:42it, enough for you." And he gave me a
30:46lesson. There were a bunch of people in
30:48the apartment, a one-room apartment. We
30:50were gathering, and there We had a
30:52meeting, a bunch of people, and we went
30:54to the bathroom. And in the bathroom we
30:57went in, and he whispered a mantra in
30:58my ear. You see, this is what my life
31:01is like, that I was learning a lesson
31:03in the bathroom. It's just some kind of
31:06divine irony, yes. And so he whispered,
31:09but this lesson he changed my life. And
31:11then, when he was leaving, he looked at
31:15me, hugged me and said: "Do everything
31:18well, and everything will be fine." And
31:22these words, simple words, they gave me
31:26some kind of strength and hope to live
31:30forward. And from that day on, I have
31:33had none more, that is, this was the
31:37final point in my journey. The final
31:40point is that everything with
31:42addictions is over. I only have one
31:44addiction left. This is divine
31:48inspiration. There. Well, and finally,
31:52I will read you a few lines from my
31:55poem, which I really like, and there is
31:57a song to it. I make songs with the
32:00help of artificial intelligence. There.
32:03Well, Inspiration comes, I write them
32:04down. I like it, and many others like
32:07it too. The body begs for mercy and
32:10sleep, only the spirit longs to pray
32:13again. In every cell there is a
32:15pulsation of current, bliss and the
32:17fury of fire. And let tomorrow's
32:19hangover of insomnia pierce the murky
32:22morning. I want the madness of the
32:24night that pierces me with a burning
32:27light. Our ancestors and poets did not
32:29sleep. They woke up to live. Their
32:32prayer was like a drug whose current
32:34cannot be interrupted. This sweet
32:37poison allowed them to hear the
32:39invisible sky. This song flowed like
32:42nectar to tear mortal flesh apart. My
32:45prayer is ecstasy, the fury of bliss in
32:47the whirlwind of the soul. I sense you
32:49under the skin of the visible world in
32:52incomprehensible silence. Everything we
32:55mold around is only an attempt to make
32:57it in time. To snatch your unimaginable
33:00face and sing. Well, and from there it
33:02goes on. This floodplain is large. You
33:06can see this there in my channel. But
33:10the idea is that the soul longs for
33:13this brightness of life. And I thought,
33:15that is, everyone has had so many
33:17conversations with me on this topic. I
33:19think: "What can you offer me? What can
33:22you offer me of this grayness? You, yes
33:25, are great, moderate, you don’t
33:27drink all that stuff. What can you
33:30offer me in return? What? What? I
33:33don’t see anything in you that would
33:35inspire me. Only Dada could offer me.
33:40He said:" Your inner world is limitless
33:42, your universe, your cosmos is
33:44limitless. There is limitless life,
33:47limitless bliss, it is pulsating in you
33:49right now. Find this life within
33:51yourself and you will be free. "And you
33:54will be free. Now, if you are an
33:58addicted person, it doesn’t matter
34:01whether it’s food, you overeat, you
34:03eat constantly, or a game, you place
34:06some kind of bets there, or this, I
34:08don’t know, some kind of romantic
34:10adventures there, or this, I don’t
34:13know, an addiction, you watch some kind
34:15of obscene films. This is all a thirst
34:20for life that has been caught in a trap
34:24. You flew towards the light, fell into
34:27the flame of a candle, and you
34:28gradually burn in this flame of a
34:30candle. Look for a greater light, look
34:33for a greater, real sun, which you
34:35strive for, which nature has programmed
34:38you to strive for. This is the terrible
34:42thing about materialism, that it does
34:45not show us the sun, it stifles this
34:47thirst with various traps. Here, please
34:50, scroll there until 3:00 in the
34:52morning. What are you looking for? What
34:54are you looking for? Here you have all
34:56sorts of, I don’t know, substances,
34:58here you have all sorts of achievements
34:59, here you have all this. It traps you
35:03in an illusion and does not show you
35:06the real path. Today we are terrible.
35:09In fact, in my time it was a whole
35:11epidemic. And in the nineties, 50%of
35:16deaths were related to alcohol. It was
35:21a war. It was an invisible war. 3
35:23million people died. 3 million people
35:26died. It's in our souls. We're actually
35:30prone to it. I mean, we're used to
35:32living between heaven and earth, used
35:33to living on this gap. That's why we
35:36don't even perceive alcohol as
35:37something, you know, out of the
35:39ordinary. That's gone today. It's gone
35:42now, but is it? Today, this poison, it
35:46happens more slowly. I mean, if in my
35:48time we didn't have phones, we weren't
35:50glued to it. I mean, we'd sit by the
35:52entrance to our apartment building and,
35:54I don't know, have some kind of
35:55showdown. Now, yes, people have become
35:57more intelligent. They sit, lost in
35:59their phones. But it's the same old
36:01wasting away of life, the same old
36:03thing. Nothing has changed. It's all
36:06the same, all the same old traps, the
36:08traps are getting smarter, yes, and you
36:10cling to these traps. But they are
36:13traps, and there is a way out. There
36:15you go. Write in the comments what you
36:17think. If you have a friend like me,
36:21tell them I'm looking for them. I'm
36:27looking for them, this friend, and I
36:29know how he, uh, and I know that
36:31everything will work out for him, that
36:33he'll be fine, that he'll break out of
36:35this. There you go. Well, take the
36:38course, uh, the consciousness of an
36:40outstanding personality. That's it,
36:42thank you very much. Oh, by the way,
36:44it's a good idea to subscribe to the
36:45channel. And this is gradual, each
36:49video is like sawing down the bars on
36:51your cage. I'm currently preparing a
36:55large canon. It will be 32 videos of
36:58liberating knowledge that you'll watch,
37:01and you'll have everything you need to
37:04free yourself. That's why it's a good
37:07idea to subscribe to this channel as
37:08well. That's it. All the best. Thanks
37:10for watching. Namaskarpevala home. Yeah
37:27.

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