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COME RESTARE CALMO ANCHE QUANDO GLI ALTRI TI PROVOCANO | SAGGEZZA BUDDISTA — Transcript

by Il Cammino del Monaco Saggio · 3,463 words · 650 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00A provocation can stem from a word, a
0:03look, or a gesture, but our peace must
0:05not depend on what others do.
0:08Buddhist wisdom invites us to create a
0:11space between what happens and how we
0:13respond.
0:14This video will guide you through a deep
0:17reflection on how to remain calm even
0:20when someone tries to disturb you.
0:23You will learn not to react immediately
0:25, to protect your energy, and to choose
0:28serenity instead of conflict.
0:31When the mind becomes stable, no
0:33provocation can manage to steal your
0:34peace anymore.
0:37Before the lesson, like the video and
0:39subscribe to the channel so you help us
0:41grow and reach even more people.
0:45First, transform anger into wisdom.
0:49Anger often arrives without knocking and
0:51seems to take control of our thoughts in
0:53a few moments.
0:55In those moments, everything appears
0:57bigger, more unfair, and harder to bear
1:00.
1:01Yet, this emotion does not arise from
1:03nothing.
1:05It brings with it a story that deserves
1:06to be listened to with attention.
1:09Many times it is not what happens that
1:11truly causes suffering, but the idea
1:12that things should have gone differently
1:14.
1:16When reality does not follow our
1:19expectations, a resistance is born that
1:21fuels an inner fire.
1:23The more we cling to what we wanted, the
1:26more the anger grows.
1:28Making space for reality means beginning
1:30to breathe again. Reacting immediately
1:33offers relief that lasts for a few
1:35moments, but it often leaves much longer
1:38consequences.
1:40A word spoken impulsively can hurt more
1:43than we imagine.
1:45That is why it is worth granting
1:46yourself a few seconds of silence.
1:49That brief interval can completely
1:51change the direction of a situation.
1:54Observing what you feel without fighting
1:56it is an exercise that requires patience
1:59.
2:00Do not just feel the anger, but allow
2:02yourself to understand its origin.
2:05Every emotion points to something that
2:07asks for attention.
2:09When you stop pushing it away, you
2:11finally begin to know it.
2:14Buddhism considers every difficulty also
2:16as an opportunity to see with greater
2:18clarity what is happening inside us.
2:22Anger can point to an open wound, a
2:24hidden fear, or an attachment you hadn't
2:27recognized.
2:29Instead of fighting it, you can use it
2:31as a light that illuminates what had
2:33remained in the shadows.
2:36Those who cultivate calm are not people
2:38who never get angry, but someone who has
2:40learned not to let every emotion decide
2:43their actions.
2:45This difference changes the way of
2:47facing conflicts.
2:49The greatest strength comes precisely
2:51from the ability to choose how to
2:53respond.
2:54Sometimes a simple question is enough to
2:56break the cycle of anger.
2:58Why does this situation affect me so
3:01much?
3:02What am I trying to defend?
3:04Sincere answers can open a door that
3:07previously seemed invisible.
3:09Understanding makes even the heaviest
3:12burdens feel lighter.
3:13In Buddhism, the mind is often compared
3:16to a mirror.
3:17When it is agitated, it reflects
3:20distorted images and everything seems
3:22confused.
3:23When it regains tranquility, everything
3:26appears in its true form.
3:29That is why it is useful to wait for
3:31emotions to calm down before making
3:33important decisions.
3:36Letting go of anger does not mean
3:38forgetting what happened; it means
3:40stopping that episode from occupying
3:43every space in your day.
3:46The past cannot be changed, but the way
3:49you carry it within you can.
3:52This choice restores freedom. Every time
3:55you transform an impulse into
3:57understanding, you take a small step
3:59toward a more serene life.
4:01Wisdom grows in those moments when it
4:03would be easier to react without
4:05reflecting.
4:07With time, you will discover that peace
4:09does not depend on others, but on the
4:11quality of the perspective with which
4:13you face what happens.
4:15Second, recognize the impermanence of
4:18anger.
4:19Anger can seem huge when it arrives, as
4:21if it were going to stay with you
4:23forever.
4:24In those moments, every thought revolves
4:27around what happened and everything
4:28loses its color.
4:30Yet, even the most intense emotion
4:33changes as time passes.
4:35No storm remains in the sky forever.
4:38You only need to look back at the most
4:40difficult days of your life to realize a
4:42simple truth.
4:44What once seemed unbearable is today
4:47just a memory.
4:49The same happens with anger, even if in
4:51the present moment it seems impossible
4:53to believe.
4:55Time changes what the heart feels. When
4:59you forget that every emotion is
5:00fleeting, you risk making decisions that
5:03will last much longer than the anger
5:05itself.
5:06An impulsive choice can leave deep marks
5:09even after the feeling has faded.
5:12This is why it is useful to give space
5:14to time.
5:16It is often the best ally of clarity.
5:18The agitated mind wants immediate
5:20answers and demands that everything be
5:23resolved in the same instant.
5:25But life follows a different rhythm and
5:28does not let itself be commanded by
5:30impatience.
5:31Accepting this reality reduces the
5:33pressure you feel inside.
5:36Calm begins precisely when you stop
5:38chasing urgency.
5:40In Buddhism, one observes with attention
5:43the continuous change of all things.
5:46Thoughts change, the body changes, and
5:48even emotions follow this natural
5:50movement.
5:53Remembering this truth makes it easier
5:55to navigate difficult moments.
5:58What seems huge today will have a
6:00different face tomorrow.
6:02Instead of fueling anger with new
6:04thoughts, try simply to notice how it
6:06transforms.
6:08At first it is intense, then it loses
6:10strength little by little.
6:13Every minute spent without reacting
6:15takes energy away from it.
6:17Observing this process teaches much more
6:20than any discussion.
6:22Even your breath can remind you that
6:23nothing remains still.
6:25Every inhalation arrives, every
6:27exhalation departs, and another is
6:29immediately born.
6:31Emotions follow the same principle, even
6:34if we often do not notice it.
6:36Life is in constant motion.
6:39Buddhism invites us not to identify
6:41completely with what we feel.
6:44Saying I am experiencing anger is
6:46different from saying I am angry.
6:49This small difference changes how you
6:51look at yourself.
6:53The emotion becomes a visitor, not the
6:55master of the house.
6:57When you learn to wait without fueling
7:00the conflict, you discover that many
7:02battles dissolve on their own.
7:04What seemed urgent loses importance and
7:07your perspective becomes broader.
7:10It is not weakness, but maturity.
7:13Patience protects decisions that would
7:15otherwise be born from confusion.
7:18Every emotion has a beginning, a moment
7:21of peak intensity, and an end.
7:24Remembering this simple truth allows you
7:26to go through even anger with greater
7:28serenity.
7:30The more you stop holding on to it or
7:32fighting it, the more quickly it reaches
7:34its conclusion.
7:36In that silence, you find a peace that
7:38had always remained within you.
7:41The next one is the most important in
7:43the video.
7:44Listen to it until the end to learn.
7:48Third, develop compassion.
7:51When someone hurts you, the first
7:53impulse is often to respond with the
7:55same harshness.
7:57The mind quickly constructs accusations
7:59and judgments, as if that person were
8:01only the gesture they made.
8:03But every behavior has a story that we
8:06cannot see.
8:07Behind a serene face, deep wounds can
8:10hide.
8:11Many people speak with anger because
8:13they have not learned how to express
8:15their pain.
8:17Others try to control others because
8:19they live in fear of losing what they
8:21have.
8:23Some seem cold, but in reality, they
8:25have stopped trusting after many
8:27disappointments.
8:29This does not justify their actions, but
8:31it helps to understand their origin.
8:34Looking beyond the behavior requires an
8:36effort that few are willing to make.
8:39It is simpler to divide the world into
8:41good and bad.
8:43Reality, however, is much more complex.
8:46Every human being fights battles that
8:48often remain invisible.
8:51Compassion is born precisely when you
8:53stop seeing only the mistake and start
8:55seeing the suffering as well.
8:57It does not mean closing your eyes to
9:00injustice; it means preventing hatred
9:02from finding space within you.
9:05Protecting your heart is as important as
9:07protecting your own life. In Buddhism,
9:10compassion is not weakness, but a form
9:13of deep clarity.
9:15Understanding the pain of others allows
9:17you to break a chain that would
9:19otherwise continue endlessly.
9:22When you respond with balance instead of
9:25revenge, something changes within you
9:27too.
9:28Peace begins with that choice.
9:31Being compassionate does not mean
9:32allowing anyone to treat you without
9:34respect.
9:36It is possible to distance yourself from
9:38a person while keeping your heart free
9:39from resentment.
9:42Healthy boundaries are not walls built
9:44with anger; they are doors you choose to
9:46open only to those who know how to enter
9:48with respect.
9:49Resentment slowly consumes the one who
9:51carries it inside.
9:53Day after day, it occupies your thoughts
9:55and steals precious energy.
9:58The person who hurt you may have even
10:00forgotten what happened.
10:03You, however, keep reliving that scene
10:05every time your mind goes back to it.
10:08Feeling compassion also means
10:10recognizing that everyone makes mistakes
10:12sooner or later.
10:14You yourself have had moments where fear
10:16or impulsiveness guided your words.
10:20Remembering this makes it easier to
10:22avoid absolute judgments.
10:23Humility opens up a space that anger
10:26cannot occupy.
10:28Buddhism invites us to cultivate a
10:30perspective capable of seeing humanity
10:32even in the most difficult people.
10:35This does not eliminate the pain
10:37received, but it prevents that pain from
10:40changing your character.
10:43Maintaining kindness while defending
10:45your dignity is one of the greatest
10:47tests of inner maturity.
10:50True victory does not consist in
10:52changing those who hurt you, but in not
10:54letting their behavior change who you
10:56are.
10:58When you choose understanding instead of
11:01resentment, the mind becomes lighter and
11:03the heart finds room to breathe.
11:06It is from that freedom that authentic
11:08serenity is born.
11:11If you have listened this far, it means
11:13you have great willpower.
11:16When you have finished, write in the
11:18comments which lesson you liked the most
11:20.
11:21Fourth: do not cling to opinions.
11:25Many conflicts do not arise from facts,
11:27but from the need to prove you are right
11:30.
11:31Two people can observe the same
11:33situation and reach completely different
11:35conclusions.
11:37When each defends their own idea as if
11:40it were the only one possible, dialogue
11:43turns into a clash.
11:45Serenity gives way to tension.
11:48Opinions are useful because they help
11:50interpret the world, but they do not
11:52represent the whole reality.
11:55They are the result of life experiences
11:58, the education received, and the
12:00emotions of the moment.
12:03That is why they change over time.
12:06What you consider a certainty today
12:08might appear different to you in a few
12:10years.
12:11Sometimes we keep arguing not to seek
12:13the truth, but to protect our own pride
12:16.
12:17Admitting that someone else might have a
12:20good idea is perceived as a defeat.
12:23Yet there is nothing to lose when you
12:25learn something new.
12:27True growth arises precisely from the
12:30willingness to listen.
12:32A rigid mind tires easily because it
12:34tries to control every conversation.
12:38An open mind, instead, observes,
12:40reflects, and chooses calmly what to
12:42accept.
12:44Not everything must be accepted, but
12:47everything can be heard.
12:50This difference makes relationships much
12:52lighter.
12:53In Buddhism, it is remembered that
12:55attachment does not only concern objects
12:58or people; it can also concern the ideas
13:00we defend so strongly.
13:03When we identify completely with an
13:05opinion, every criticism feels like a
13:07personal attack.
13:09Freeing yourself from this mechanism
13:12restores great inner peace.
13:14Truly listening to someone requires more
13:16courage than interrupting them.
13:19It means setting aside, at least for a
13:21few moments, the desire to respond.
13:24In that silence, details you hadn't
13:27considered before can emerge.
13:30Many misunderstandings simply dissolve
13:32by learning to listen better. There are
13:35discussions that lead absolutely nowhere
13:37.
13:38The more you insist, the more distances
13:41grow and words become heavy.
13:44In these cases, choosing not to continue
13:46doesn't mean giving up; it means
13:48recognizing that peace is worth more
13:50than the last word.
13:53In Buddhism, wisdom grows along with the
13:55ability to observe without reacting
13:57immediately.
13:59This also applies during a difficult
14:01conversation.
14:03Pausing for a moment before responding
14:05allows the mind to remain clear.
14:08From that calm, more useful and less
14:10impulsive words are born.
14:12Accepting that others see the world
14:14differently does not weaken your
14:16convictions.
14:18On the contrary, it makes them more
14:20mature because they don't depend on the
14:22need to convince everyone.
14:24Every encounter becomes an opportunity
14:26to understand something new.
14:28Even those who don't think like you can
14:30teach you something.
14:32When you stop fighting to always be
14:34right, you discover that many tensions
14:36dissolve on their own.
14:39Relationships become more authentic and
14:41the heart feels lighter.
14:44Freedom is not born from winning every
14:46argument, but from no longer being a
14:48prisoner of them.
14:51Fifth: understand karma.
14:54Every word spoken leaves a trace, even
14:56when it seems to vanish into thin air.
15:00A gesture of kindness can remain in a
15:03person's heart for many years, just as a
15:05phrase said in anger can continue to
15:08hurt long after.
15:10Nothing truly passes without leaving a
15:12mark.
15:13That is why it is worth paying attention
15:16to what you choose to sow each day.
15:19Many think karma is a punishment or a
15:21reward decided by an external force.
15:25In reality, it is simpler than it seems
15:27.
15:28Every action contributes to building the
15:30way we live and the type of
15:32relationships we create.
15:35Today's choices become the ground upon
15:37which you will walk tomorrow.
15:39When you react with aggression, the
15:41tension often doesn't end with that
15:44discussion; it stays in the mind,
15:46returns to your thoughts, and influences
15:49how you view people.
15:51A single outburst of anger can generate
15:53further misunderstandings.
15:56Thus, the conflict continues to feed
15:58itself without anyone noticing.
16:01The opposite also happens.
16:03A moment of patience can avoid a long
16:05series of problems.
16:07A calm response has the power to
16:09extinguish situations that seemed
16:11destined to worsen.
16:14It won't always change others 'behavior
16:16, but it will change the way you go
16:18through that moment.
16:21In Buddhism, karma is observed as a
16:23chain of cause and effect that
16:24accompanies every choice.
16:27It does not only concern what you do to
16:29others, but also what you build within
16:31yourself.
16:32Every time you cultivate serenity, you
16:34strengthen a more stable mind.
16:37Every time you feed a grudge, you make
16:39that weight even more present. Habits
16:42are born from small, repeated actions.
16:45If you choose respectful words every day
16:47, respect eventually becomes natural.
16:50If instead you let impulsivity guide
16:53every reaction, it will be harder to
16:55find calm.
16:57Character takes shape through the
16:58simplest decisions. You don't need to
17:01wait for big occasions to create change
17:03.
17:04The way you greet someone, listen to
17:07criticism, or face disappointment is
17:09already an important choice.
17:12It is precisely these ordinary moments
17:14that build a more serene life.
17:17Every day offers a new chance to start
17:20over.
17:21Even when you receive harshness, you
17:23have the freedom to choose a different
17:25response.
17:26It doesn't mean becoming passive or
17:29accepting any behavior; it means
17:31breaking a chain that would otherwise
17:34keep growing.
17:36Calmness can be much more powerful than
17:39an impulsive reaction.
17:41In Buddhism, it is often remembered that
17:43the outer world reflects the way we
17:45cultivate our mind.
17:48When you sow understanding, patience,
17:50and kindness, you begin to transform
17:52your surroundings.
17:55Results don't always arrive immediately
17:57, but they grow slowly like a
17:59well-tended tree.
18:01Consistency makes even the smallest
18:03changes strong.
18:05Every day is made of hundreds of
18:07seemingly insignificant decisions, but
18:09together they build your path.
18:13Choosing calmer words, more respectful
18:15gestures, and clearer thoughts means
18:18creating a different direction for your
18:21life.
18:23This is how the cycle of anger loses
18:25strength, leaving room for a peace that
18:27grows one step at a time.
18:30Sixth, practice mindfulness.
18:35There are moments when everything seems
18:37to happen too fast; someone says a word
18:40you didn't expect and, in an instant,
18:42you feel the urge to respond without
18:44thinking.
18:46It is precisely in those seconds that
18:48the direction of the situation is
18:49decided.
18:51A small moment of attention can avoid
18:53major consequences.
18:55The mind often reacts automatically,
18:58following old habits built over the
19:00years.
19:01If no one interrupts that mechanism, the
19:03same emotions will always produce the
19:05same responses.
19:08Pausing for even just one breath
19:10completely changes this process.
19:12From that silence, a new possibility is
19:15born.
19:16Observing what you feel does not mean
19:18suppressing emotions; it means
19:20recognizing them before they take
19:22control of your words and actions.
19:26When you manage to tell yourself "I am
19:28feeling anger" or "I am feeling fear,"
19:31the emotion loses some of its force; it
19:34becomes something to understand, not
19:36something to follow blindly.
19:39Many decisions we regret were made in a
19:42few seconds.
19:44Waiting just one moment longer would
19:46have been enough for the mind to regain
19:47clarity.
19:49Haste is often a poor counselor,
19:51especially when the heart is agitated.
19:54Calmness, on the other hand, allows you
19:56to see what previously remained hidden.
19:59In Buddhism, mindfulness is like a light
20:01that illuminates every thought before it
20:03becomes an action.
20:06It does not eliminate emotions, but
20:07allows you to go through them without
20:09being carried away.
20:11The more this awareness grows, the more
20:13natural it becomes to choose with
20:15balance.
20:16Freedom begins precisely from this
20:18presence. The body also offers precious
20:21signals that often go unnoticed.
20:24The breath becomes faster, the shoulders
20:27tense up, and the heart races.
20:30Noticing these changes helps to
20:32recognize what is happening inside
20:35oneself.
20:36The body reveals things long before
20:38words do. Being present does not require
20:41a special place or long moments of
20:43silence.
20:45It can happen while you walk, listen to
20:47someone, or wait for an answer.
20:49Every moment becomes an opportunity to
20:51observe without haste what arises in the
20:54mind.
20:55It is a simple exercise, but it
20:57profoundly transforms the way you live.
20:59In Buddhism, it is remembered that a
21:01distracted mind follows every impulse,
21:04while an attentive mind knows how to
21:06choose its direction.
21:08This difference seems small, but it
21:10changes the way you face every
21:12difficulty.
21:13Emotions continue to arrive, but they no
21:16longer dictate your behavior.
21:19You are the one who guides your actions
21:20. Over time, this practice also modifies
21:24your relationships.
21:26Conversations become more serene,
21:28conflicts less frequent, and decisions
21:31more thoughtful.
21:33Not because the world changes suddenly,
21:35but because the way you observe it
21:37changes.
21:38The quality of your attention influences
21:41every moment of the day. True wisdom
21:44does not consist of not feeling emotions
21:46, but in not becoming their prisoner.
21:50Each time you choose to observe before
21:52reacting, you strengthen a more stable
21:54mind and a calmer heart.
21:56It is a change that grows little by
21:59little until it becomes a natural part
22:01of your way of living.
22:03Seventh: practice patience.
22:07We live in a time where everything seems
22:09to have to happen immediately.
22:10If a response is late in coming or a
22:13project proceeds more slowly than
22:15expected, impatience easily arises.
22:18The mind begins to imagine problems,
22:20anticipates negative scenarios, and
22:22loses tranquility.
22:24Thus, it ends up suffering even when
22:26nothing has happened yet. Patience does
22:29not consist of staying still without
22:31doing anything.
22:33It is the ability to continue one's
22:34journey without demanding that
22:36everything follow one's own timeline.
22:39Some results take days, others months,
22:42and others still many years.
22:44Forcing them will not make them arrive
22:46any sooner.
22:47How many arguments arise from the desire
22:50that others change immediately?
22:53We would like them to understand what we
22:55think, to act as we deem right, and to
22:58learn at our same speed.
23:01But every person follows a different
23:03path.
23:04Accepting this reality makes
23:06relationships much more serene. Nature
23:08also teaches a precious lesson.
23:12A seed does not become a tree in one
23:13night, and a flower does not bloom
23:15because someone orders it to.
23:17Every transformation needs its own time
23:20.
23:21Trying to speed it up only increases
23:24frustration.
23:26In Buddhism, patience is considered a
23:28quality that strengthens the mind, not
23:30because it eliminates obstacles, but
23:32because it changes how we navigate them
23:34.
23:36Those who cultivate this virtue do not
23:38waste energy fighting what they cannot
23:40control.
23:42Their strength grows in the calm.
23:45Taking a deep breath before reacting may
23:48seem like a simple gesture, but it often
23:50completely changes the outcome of a
23:52situation.
23:54That brief interval allows thoughts to
23:57slow down and emotions to lose their
23:59intensity.
24:01Many words you would have spoken on
24:03impulse no longer seem necessary.
24:06Clarity finally finds room to emerge.
24:09Haste often creates errors that take a
24:12long time to fix.
24:14A decision made with serenity, however,
24:16has a better chance of being balanced.
24:20Waiting a few minutes, a few hours, or
24:22even a few days is not wasted time; it
24:24is an investment in the quality of your
24:26choices.
24:29Write in the comments which lesson you
24:31liked best and don't forget to like the
24:33video and subscribe to the channel.

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