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CIA Spy: The Dark Conversation Hack That Makes Any Woman Want You — Transcript

by Andrew Bustamante · 5,489 words · 768 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00There's a rule of thumb that CIA teaches
0:02us that's scary but simple, right? And
0:04and that rule of thumb is that you are
0:08either in control or you are under
0:11control. There is no other option,
0:14right? And it's one of those simple
0:16binary dichotoies that you know we all
0:18use to take to teach people a simple
0:20truth. There's in reality there are lots
0:23of other grad you know gradations
0:25between the two. But when you take that
0:28at face value, it's really about
0:29understanding that every day you have to
0:32choose whether to take control or
0:35whether not to take control. And
0:37understand that if you choose not to
0:39take control, you're giving control to
0:42someone else. And when you talk about
0:44influence, Jonathan, it's an it's a
0:46perfect example because you hear people
0:48talk about influence all the time. And
0:51there's books about influence and
0:52there's there's gurus who teach you how
0:54to build influence and business coaches
0:55who teach you how to build influence.
0:57And you also hear the word persuasion.
1:00And there's YouTube videos about
1:02persuasion. And there's Tik Tok videos
1:03about persuasion. Persuasion and
1:06influence. Often times people
1:08misunderstand them as the same thing
1:10when they're two very different things.
1:13Right?
1:14Persuasion requires that you put active
1:18energy into someone in person, right?
1:21And that you were using emotional
1:27psuing. Influence happens when you are
1:30not with somebody but they are still
1:34recalling your knowledge or your belief
1:37or your ideas or your lies. Or your
1:40lies. Exactly. M. So persuasion comes
1:44before influence and you have to invest
1:47in in mastering persuasion if you ever
1:50want to be a person of influence because
1:54the the influence is the roof on the
1:56house but all the other structure of the
1:59house is built on persuasion. How do I
2:01become a better persuader? First you
2:03need to understand that people don't
2:05care about your point of view but people
2:07care very much that other people
2:10understand their own
2:13opinions. So if you want to build
2:15persuasion, if you want to be
2:17persuasive, you have to learn how to
2:19understand and identify what other
2:20people value and then demonstrate back
2:24to them their own values. If they care
2:26about freedom, then you need to
2:28highlight freedom. If they care about
2:30environmentalism, then you need to talk
2:31about environmentalism. If they care
2:33about the future of their children, then
2:34you need to talk about the future of
2:35their children. But if you sit there and
2:37talk about, you know, the the incredibly
2:41high tax rate that you have to pay when
2:43they're worried about how they're going
2:45to put food on the table, you're not
2:47going to persuade them, right? So, if
2:49you can learn to meet people where
2:52they're at, correct? It's something that
2:54we call perspective. If you can gain
2:57perspective and let go of your own
3:00perceptions, then you have a real
3:02opportunity to build persuasive appeal,
3:05which will turn into long-term
3:06influence. What I love about you,
3:08Andrew, is that you you could have any
3:10number of jobs. Like, if I were talking
3:12to you right now, I'd be like, "This is
3:14the best social media influencer manager
3:16I've ever met in my life." And then when
3:18you're talking about politics, I'm like,
3:20"This is the best politician I've ever
3:22heard explain Israel to me." Like when
3:24you talk about like, you know, costume,
3:26I'm like, this is the best prosthetic
3:28makeup artist I've ever met. You're like
3:30that guy. You've got this like enormous
3:33amount of knowledge about all these
3:35different things, but they all go
3:37together because of your training,
3:40right? And that's what I find to be so
3:42exciting about owning and operating my
3:44own company. And my company is an
3:46education company, right? I'm
3:47essentially a giant international
3:50school. And I love that because I get to
3:54offer people the opportunity to learn
3:56something new without forcing them or
3:59grading them or objectifying them to
4:02some arbitrary set of rules, right? It's
4:04an invitation to learn instead of a
4:06mandate to learn. Are there specific
4:08strategies to use to try and uncover
4:12what someone values quickly? Is it just
4:14listening to them? Let me give you a
4:16really a really great tool that blew my
4:17mind when I went to CI. So, I was 27
4:19years old when CIA recruited me. I
4:21thought that I was a good
4:24conversationalist. I thought I was
4:26pretty good with the women. I thought I
4:28was like at least a better than average
4:32social talent. And then I realized very
4:36quickly that I was a dumbass, right?
4:39And a big part of my dumbasserie was
4:42that I spent most of my time talking
4:44about me, talking about my history, my
4:48experience, my qualifications, my ideas.
4:51Right? CIA taught me that there's a very
4:53simple process to rapidly build trust
4:56and influence in other people. And that
4:58process involves asking two questions
5:01and then making one validating
5:04statement. And then after that that
5:06validating statement, you repeat the
5:09same cycle again. And that the process
5:11of asking questions and validating other
5:13people's ideas subconsciously makes the
5:17other person think that you are like
5:20them and it makes them feel like they
5:23are interesting and they are important
5:25and they are relevant. And then they
5:27have a dopamine rush that makes them
5:30feel good being around you. Now you're a
5:33dating expert.
5:36What's a good intro? Like roleplaying.
5:39You You got to ask M. You're going to
5:42persuade M. You're going to get
5:43influence over her. I mean, persuasion
5:45first. What's like a obviously it's
5:48situation dependent, but are there like
5:50is there a bank that you start with like
5:52your go-tos? Also, I'm an actor, so it's
5:54a little bit I mean, I'm sure you are
5:55also an actor. I mean, that's kind of
5:57what you had to do as a spy, but um
6:00let's do Can we do Let's do it. So, so
6:02M, I'm going to ask you not to act. I'm
6:05going to ask you to try to be genuine. I
6:06don't even know who I am, so this will
6:08be fun. That's all right. So, so from
6:11what you've shared today, I already know
6:13you're a mom and I already know that
6:15you're and I've watched your channel
6:16enough to know that you've been through
6:17a divorce, right? So, uh, let me start
6:19with this, M. I will start with, uh,
6:22what did you do first thing this morning
6:25with your kids? What was the first thing
6:26you did with your kids today? My kids
6:27didn't stay over last night and my other
6:29one's in college.
6:31But do you want me to do you want me to
6:33take an example of when my kid was at my
6:35house? No, I want I want to start right
6:37where you were. Of course you do. I can
6:38see what you're doing. Okay, go ahead. I
6:40need to meet you where you are, right?
6:42Okay. My older son's in college and my
6:44younger son is at his dad, so I woke up
6:46alone today. What's it like to wake up
6:49in an empty house when you know you're a
6:52parent? Um, it's it's two things. It's
6:55kind of a sadness, kind of a pull. My
6:58son describes it as there's an invisible
7:00string, you know, that's that's very
7:02very long because wherever he is, I'm
7:04attached to him. And then there's also
7:06an element of kind of like I don't have
7:08to wake up, make a lunch, and get the
7:10kid on the bus by 7 in the morning. So,
7:12a little bit of relief as well. I swear
7:15that you just described what I wonder
7:18about my own future. Like when my
7:19children leave, I feel like I'm going to
7:21be sad, but I also feel like I'm going
7:23to be happy. Should I write you a check
7:26for a million dollars? Is that what
7:27happens?
7:30So, what does that mean for your What
7:31does that mean for your work
7:32productivity? Does that make it very
7:34easy to work or does that make it kind
7:35of distracting to work? Um, no. I think
7:37I'm I'm pretty practiced at it. I've
7:39been divorced for 12 years, so I I have
7:41a rhythm that I've fallen into when I'm
7:43alone. What does the rhythm for work
7:46look like? Um, well, it means that I can
7:48take my time, you know, making my
7:50protein smoothie or whatever I'm going
7:51to do for breakfast. And then, um, I get
7:53to sit down, do some emails, um, you
7:56know, look at my phone, check the news
7:58just once. Don't want to get obsessed
8:00about it. I I actually also start my day
8:03with a protein smoothie. I use a protein
8:06called True Greens. Have you ever heard
8:07of them? They're pretty amazing. No. So,
8:09what's the protein that you use? Um, I
8:11use Well, they they used to sponsor our
8:14podcast. I use Puri, which is um it's a
8:17vegan protein powder. I also use vegan
8:20proteins because first of all, I just
8:22find that they are easier to digest, but
8:24also I find that vegan proteins are a
8:27more viable solution for long-term
8:29muscle growth when I'm older. That was
8:32the cycle of three. That was a cycle of
8:34three. The sec the last cycle had one
8:36question and a follow-up. Uh but I could
8:39feel the rapport building. It was
8:41happening. How did it feel to you though
8:43m you know what was happening to you. So
8:46how did it feel to you? It felt like I
8:49was at a bar and a guy was trying to get
8:51me into bed. But that's just because
8:53that's my fear about people like trying
8:55to connect with you know me. Also, she
8:58doesn't like to talk about herself in in
9:01when asked questions specifically. So
9:03like you're putting her in a very
9:05awkward position. I I definitely I felt
9:08like oh you're relating to things.
9:10you're finding the similarities, not the
9:12differences. So, yeah, I would imagine
9:14that um that it does it feels like a
9:17connection. It feels like you get me. It
9:19feels like I want to share more with
9:22feels like I'd go on a date with you if
9:23you gave me your number. So, so here's
9:26the twisted side of this very effective
9:28dating technique. I don't want to make a
9:30spy baby yet, though. We need to have
9:31three dates first. He doesn't have
9:33protein in the morning. He never has
9:36imagined his children leaving the house.
9:38All of that was fake. No, actually the
9:41twisted part here is I now know a great
9:44deal about you, M. But you still don't
9:47know anything new about me from that
9:48process. Really? Right. I know that you
9:52start your day in the morning. I know
9:54that you like to move slow. I know that
9:56you have a child in college and a child
9:58that's at your husband's house. I know
9:59that you used to have a protein sponsor
10:01for this podcast. CIA believes that all
10:04people are born with a spy secret
10:07superpower. For some people, that means
10:09they can win deals. For others, they can
10:11spot liars. Some can even seduce lovers.
10:14I built a free 3inut test to help reveal
10:17to you exactly what your secret hidden
10:20superpower is. All you have to do is
10:22click on the link in the description
10:24below, take the test, and start using
10:26your spy superpower to stay ahead of 99%
10:28of people. Did I not ask enough
10:30questions about you? Is that why we're
10:31not going on a date? I grew up on
10:34Blossom M. If you want a date, I will
10:36fly to LA and take you to dinner. I will
10:39just tell my wife I have to do this.
10:40But, but what you're saying is that what
10:42you were able to do was establish
10:44rapport, establish trust and this kind
10:47of connection without you actually
10:49having to reveal anything about
10:50yourself. So, that if that's the
10:52relationship you need to establish out
10:54in the field, you haven't really given
10:56up anything of yourself. Correct. It's a
10:59tool that we call informational
11:01superiority. Now you feel good being
11:04around me hopefully, but you don't know
11:07anything about me. So when you meet your
11:09friend and you say, "I met this guy."
11:10She's like, "Tell me about him." You're
11:12like, "I actually don't know anything
11:13about him." But he's very interested in
11:15me. And that's what's most important.
11:18But we've all had that moment. We've all
11:20had that moment where we realize I
11:21actually don't know anything about that
11:23person. That's me and Jonathan. It's
11:25like, why are we here? That is now
11:27essentially Jonathan. What we are able
11:28to do now is we just created a
11:31systematic process to make that happen
11:34all the time with clients, with
11:36customers, with possible future dates,
11:39with in-laws, with business partners.
11:42It's it's predictable because the human
11:45brain is predictable in any language and
11:48any age. So what you've created is a way
11:50for to get information for but more
11:53importantly for someone to feel
11:55comfortable with you that you have shown
11:58interest and cuz what most people
12:01actually want is for someone to be
12:03interested in them and to have space
12:06held for them and reflected back and
12:08finding similarities. There's nothing
12:10people love more than oh my gosh that
12:12person understands me and has little
12:15sparks of similarity. You're exactly
12:17right. And you know the way that we talk
12:18about it at CIA is that the core need
12:22the fundamental need for human beings
12:24that so often goes missed is the need
12:27for connection. And that connection is
12:30nothing more than feeling seen, feeling
12:33heard, and feeling present in a moment
12:36with another human being. And it's a
12:39very very powerful concoction when you
12:41can artificially create that sense of
12:44connection for somebody else because it
12:47means that there will never be a lack of
12:49people who want to connect with you even
12:52though they don't realize they're not
12:54connecting with you on a personal level.
12:57Well, I mean, this is also a dangerous
12:59tool to use too much because if you
13:03don't know that you're doing it, the
13:05user of the tool can, you know, if
13:07you're not a spy, can cut themselves off
13:09and actually, you know, not form that
13:12reciprocal relationship. These are, you
13:14know, to be used carefully. Correct. And
13:17that's what you're getting at there is
13:18really the difference between what we
13:19call a trained person and an untrained
13:22person. Uh, M talked about narcissists
13:25earlier. Narcissists are
13:28untrained. They go to the school of on
13:30the job training. They learn through the
13:32school of hard knocks. They don't learn
13:33how to genuinely connect with another
13:35human being. A trained person learns how
13:40to use these skills to gain practical
13:43advantages for for operational goals,
13:47whether that is a goal in your everyday
13:49life or a goal in your career or a goal
13:50in your personal life. But also a
13:53trained person understands that they
13:55have to accept genuine connection in
13:58order to be optimized as an individual.
14:01You have to trust somebody. You have to
14:03connect with somebody. Otherwise, you
14:05will never be optimized. You will lose
14:08that basic core need of human
14:10connection. I mean, I'm fascinated about
14:12that because the movie version of the
14:14spy is someone who is isolated. You
14:17know, you have to give up everything in
14:19order to join this world. I've seen Liam
14:21Niss do that many times. You can't have
14:23the relationship. You have to be willing
14:25to leave at a moment's notice and
14:28everyone in your and you of course the
14:29hero of whatever movie this is finds the
14:32one person they don't want to walk away
14:33from and they end up changing their
14:35life. But what you're saying is
14:36actually, you know, fundamental to
14:38optimization is that there has to be a
14:40break in the character. You can't be the
14:43spy 24/7 or or you won't function.
14:47Correct. You have to have it's it's a
14:49matter of energy transference. And I
14:52don't mean woowoo hippie la energy. I
14:55mean actual like national lab scientific
14:59energy. Human beings are energetic
15:02sources and we transfer energy to and
15:04from each other. There has to be a time
15:07when you recharge your energy because so
15:11much of your day is spent shedding
15:13energy. You put energy into your
15:15children. You put energy into your
15:17spouse. You put energy into your uh
15:18employees. You put energy into
15:20strangers. You put energy into the Uber
15:22driver who's making you nauseous, but
15:24you don't want to yell at him. Like, you
15:25put energy out into the world all the
15:27time. You must have a way of re
15:30recreating or generating energy. And one
15:32of the best ways to do that is by being
15:34around another energy source where
15:37you're in receive mode and they're
15:39pouring their energy into you. Um, how
15:42do you tell if someone is lying to you?
15:43Cuz their lips are moving, Jonathan. and
15:45their lips are moving.
15:48There's a number of ways to do this.
15:49Most of the stuff that you see on Tik
15:50Tok and Facebook and Instagram is not
15:52right. It's not about looking for small
15:54facial movements. It's actually about
15:56things that are much bigger than that.
15:58One of the best things you can do to
15:59find out if somebody's lying to you is
16:00you can ask them a question about how
16:02they feel, right? Ask them a question
16:04that we call a feelings question. Right?
16:07For
16:08example, you must have been so happy
16:11when you saw the birth of your first
16:14child.
16:15What happens is you're asking a question
16:18that will absolutely create an emotional
16:20response. I mean, there's a lot going on
16:23down there if you don't take drugs, but
16:24sure. I mean, I was a little terrified,
16:26but Oh, you were talking to him. I was
16:29like, I was the one doing it. I wasn't
16:31really watching, but yeah.
16:34But what ends up happening is you can
16:36see the challenge. You can see the
16:38effort on their face if they're trying
16:40to lie. Lying takes effort. Even for the
16:43most experienced lie liar, lying takes a
16:46lot of effort. So when somebody shows
16:48very little effort in their face and
16:50their body movements and their in their
16:52intonation, there's a good chance
16:53they're telling the truth or they're a
16:55sociopath. But when somebody puts a
16:57great deal of effort into their lie, you
16:59can actually see it. You can hear the
17:01pause. You can see the the confusion on
17:04their face. You can hear them blubber
17:06through their words. So that's just one
17:08actual tool that we use. It's not a
17:10bulletproof tool, but it's one proven
17:12tool to actually see if someone's lying
17:14to you. I'm curious about the pause.
17:18Well, I guess I'm curious about two
17:19things. The first is what does effort
17:23look like? You talked about pause. You
17:25talked about um like a facial reaction.
17:28So, I'm curious to hear a little bit
17:29more specifically about that. And then
17:31also, how does that differ than when you
17:33asked me that question and you you
17:35proposed an emotion to me which would be
17:37a natural emotion. I felt like I paused
17:40for a minute because I was unsure the
17:42emotion you presented to me wasn't
17:45really authentic to my experience. And
17:47so I I was almost um auditing and trying
17:50to say what would my experience be? So I
17:52felt like I kind of looked up and I had
17:54my head tilted for a second and I was
17:56like oh actually when he was born it was
17:58a difficult birth and I was kind of
18:00terrified and I was a new dad and we
18:03were did a home birth and I was like
18:04holy there's a human being now.
18:07like it wasn't, you know, like the the
18:10looking at your son in the movie and
18:12being like, holy, you know, just just
18:14happiness. It was like a bit of terror,
18:16too. And that's a very honest answer.
18:18And and I think your your example is one
18:20of the reasons why it's not a
18:21bulletproof solution. But let's do a
18:23let's do a real quick field experiment
18:25right here. Right. Do me a favor. Uh
18:27Jonathan, push your glasses up a little
18:29higher on your nose just so that we can
18:30see your eyes. Perfect. Now, M, can you
18:33see Jonathan? Yes. Okay. Your job, your
18:37job is to watch his face and make
18:40observations that you can that you can
18:43describe physically. Don't tell me about
18:46observations about what you feel. Only
18:48tell me objective observations about
18:50what you see. Okay. Turning off my
18:52feelings. Perfect. Perfect. Jonathan, I
18:55need you to relax because you're already
18:56preparing yourself for an exercise. I
18:58was like leaning forward a lot. Okay.
18:59I'm I'm sitting back. Go ahead. Okay.
19:02I'm going to ask you the first question
19:03I ask you. I just want you to answer
19:04honestly. I'm really good at this. Also,
19:06I just want to give you a heads up
19:08because I grew up in a very emotionally
19:11volatile home and I grew No, but I'm I
19:13grew up tracking. I grew up like super
19:16hypervigilant. I can pick up off like if
19:19someone's uncomfortable about something
19:20that like they don't want to talk about.
19:22I know it from like 50 yards away. So, I
19:24think I'm going to be very good at this
19:25game. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. So, your
19:27your job is to watch Jonathan.
19:29Jonathan's job is to be Jonathan. Relax.
19:31I'm going to ask you a question. It's
19:33going to be an emotional question. And
19:34your job is just to tell the truth. All
19:37right. What was it like when you met
19:39your wife for the first time?
19:44I have to think about when
19:48uh what I'm really thinking. Um stop
19:52right there. I don't need anymore. We've
19:54got everything we need. So what
19:55happened? Yeah. I'm so curious. Tell me
19:58tell me what you saw, M. Okay. So, what
20:00I saw is I saw um I saw a miniature like
20:04record scratch in his eyes. I saw his
20:07eyes kind of like uh they didn't freeze,
20:10but it was like everything stopped and I
20:13could see like the cog like the the
20:16wheels start turning. That's That's your
20:18emotions. That's your emotions. Which
20:20What did his eyes do? Tell me what they
20:22did. Yeah, it looked like they
20:24um they they tracked a little bit down
20:27and then they stopped.
20:29So, you may not be as good at this as
20:31you think you are, but luckily we have a
20:34replay. So, production team, play the
20:36replay. What you actually see is
20:38Jonathan's eyes move up and to his left.
20:43Oh. Now, Jonathan's Canadian, primary
20:45language is English, correct, Jonathan?
20:47Yeah. So, that means that he reads from
20:49left to right. So what you just saw him
20:51do is he referenced chronology in his
20:54memory trying to find what when did I
20:57even meet my wife trying to find the
21:00memory and then you could also see his
21:02forehead remained flat. He didn't furrow
21:04his eyebrows with confusion or effort.
21:07He just looked up to try to find the
21:09memory and then he couldn't resist
21:12smiling. Mhm. He couldn't resist it. And
21:15he was talking about how he he had to
21:17think hard and he was talking about how
21:18he was trying. And normally you might
21:20think that somebody who's stalling is
21:22lying. But you could see in his face he
21:25was recalling the joy of his wife. I
21:28mean they're not married anymore. But
21:29yes, when they first met for the first
21:32time though, that's that's positive
21:34stuff, right? So you could see all of
21:36this unhindered emotion. So, whatever
21:39you were going to say, Jonathan, had a
21:42high likelihood of being truthful. I
21:44mean, this is the most
21:46fascinating little exercise I think
21:48we've maybe ever done on this podcast.
21:50And I've watched a lot of your content.
21:52I don't know if you've done this before.
21:54I haven't seen it. I I'm fascinated also
21:57by tracking of eye movements. The notion
22:00of looking up and to the left as a way
22:03to find a memory is is fascinating.
22:07There's a lot of um neurological and
22:11neuromuscular research that actually you
22:14can use eye movement to reset body
22:16patterns. And so to think about tracking
22:18that as it relates to how people are
22:20thinking is really interesting to me.
22:23And again, it's not bulletproof because
22:25if you're talking to somebody who maybe
22:27is dyslexic or if you talk to somebody
22:29who their primary language is Arabic,
22:31they're going to learn they're going to
22:33reference their chronology differently.
22:35Right? So now the second exercise,
22:38Jonathan, you have to relax, but your
22:40job is to lie. Your job is to lie,
22:43right? And m, your job is to observe the
22:47observables, always knowing that we have
22:49the replay in case in case you don't see
22:52something exactly right. Okay. All
22:54right, Jonathan, another feeling
22:56question, but this time I need you to
22:58lie. Okay. Okay. Were you afraid that
23:01you would be lonely for the rest of your
23:03life when you got a divorce?
23:05No.
23:07What did you see him?
23:09I His eyes didn't move. Nothing moved.
23:12Did you see how how rigid the whole
23:14thing was? Yeah. That's This is another
23:17great replay. It's another great replay
23:19cuz you could see the pause that I was
23:21telling you about, Jonathan. Remember
23:23how I told you look for a pause?
23:26If if you were telling the truth, you
23:27would have answered right away. I'm
23:29guessing that I asked that question and
23:30the first thing that went through your
23:31head was yes. And the next thing that
23:34went through your head was I have to
23:36lie. No, it's it's interesting that I
23:39actually had to ask myself. I wasn't
23:42sure if if I was or not. I mean, the
23:46biggest thing when I got divorced was
23:48actually not the idea of not living with
23:50my child was the biggest thing. That's
23:53the first thing that hit me. And there
23:54was a moment actually when I first left
23:56the house uh when it was actually one of
23:59the hardest parts was I came back and
24:02and I was visiting the house at a time
24:03and I hadn't been gone very long and my
24:06son was maybe five maybe six at the time
24:09and he had climbed into the washing
24:12machine
24:14uh and was standing in the washing
24:16machine because he was too small to like
24:19reach in and get the clothes and he
24:20liked to do his own clothes and he was
24:22in his underwear and nothing else. And
24:24he was standing in the washing machine
24:26and like really proud of himself as he
24:28was pulling the wet clothes out and
24:30throwing them into the dryer. And I
24:32thought to myself, you only get that
24:34moment when you live with your kid. You
24:38don't get that in a visit. You don't get
24:40that any other time than when there's
24:42just
24:42unstructured moments. And I remember
24:45like that that's what was sort of the
24:48forefront. like my my notion of like
24:51what's going to happen to me in
24:52relationships was like so far out of my
24:54consciousness that like when you asked
24:56me that question I had to sort of travel
24:58back but also I knew I was supposed to
24:59lie so I wanted to answer quickly. Um so
25:02that was a it was a tough question. It
25:04was a really tough question. It was just
25:05an emotional question and I think your
25:07story which is a gorgeously beautiful
25:10story by the way the story that you just
25:11told really shows the pause that em and
25:16I saw was only probably 3/4 of a second
25:20and all of that happened in your brain
25:22during that pause so fast and that's
25:25what makes it so so valuable such a
25:28valuable tool because when people lie
25:30they still feel the emotion and then
25:33they have to put effort into not showing
25:35the emotion. Your eyes didn't move at
25:37all. You didn't reference a chronology
25:39at all. Right? You just stayed locked in
25:42on me with a tight jaw until you said
25:45no. It was almost not human. It was like
25:48there was an absence of of real human
25:51emotion in it. And when you told the
25:53truth right before that, your face told
25:55the story for you. The smiles and the
25:57and the and the grin and the teeth and
25:59the me and the eye movement and the head
26:00movement. like you'll see it in in your
26:02own replay how very much effort is
26:05obvious to see. I have two more
26:07questions.
26:09What's your favorite movie about a spy?
26:11My favorite movie about spies is the
26:14very first Spy Kids. And it's because
26:17all spy movies are not real. They're all
26:20bad. But I love Antonio Banderas and I
26:24watched Spy Kids with my kids and they
26:28loved it. So, it's just this very fond
26:30memory of of a of a spy movie because
26:33most of the spy movies I watch,
26:35especially the very serious ones and all
26:36I see is just how many things they get
26:39wrong and how little of it is true.
26:41Okay, my other question in um a lot of
26:44spy movies, they show like teeny tiny
26:46weapons like teeny teeny like like in
26:49the Kingsman like teeny teeny tiny
26:51weapons. Is that a real thing? Are there
26:54weapons that we don't know about that
26:55are like so tiny and you can hide them
26:57in a button? like, is that a real thing?
27:00Um, yes. There are weapons that are tiny
27:03that you would never believe exist. And
27:06and they deliver a
27:08lethal action in a number of different
27:11ways. Some of them deliver a lethal dose
27:14of poison. Some of them deliver um some
27:16sort of lethal uh impulse that throws
27:19off your heart and puts you in cardiac
27:20arrest. And then there's a whole slew of
27:23other things that, you know, do
27:24everything from confuse you or or blind
27:26you or whatever else. And often times
27:28Dungeons and Dragons, you're like
27:29throwing a spell at someone. Lightning
27:32bolt. Lightning bolt. Right. Um, but I
27:35will also say that more than weapons
27:38because we're about collecting
27:39intelligence. So the really impressive
27:42stuff is how small the tools are that we
27:44use to collect secrets. How small our
27:48thumb drives can be, how small
27:50microchips can be, how small cameras can
27:52be, how small audio bugs can be, right?
27:55like how how we even have ways of
27:57creating audio recording devices that
28:00have no battery power. Wow. Right. And
28:03that's just really cool stuff that that
28:05is better than the movies in my opinion.
28:07Amazing. Amazing. I have two very short
28:10questions. One is what is your best
28:12tool, technique, most universal that you
28:15would say people who are not spies
28:17should learn about? Um, if it's if it's
28:20something that I want just the average
28:21person to do without paying me a single
28:23dollar, I just want them to stop
28:25talking. Just if you just talk 10% less,
28:30you're going to learn like 30% more than
28:33you learn right now. And it's a hard
28:36thing to do, but it's very, very simple
28:37and very memorable. Just talk less. When
28:39the moment comes where you feel like you
28:41should talk, pause and just hold it and
28:45then say what you have to say. And
28:46you're going to be shocked by how much
28:48you learn. If it's something that people
28:50will learn from me, meaning they will
28:52come to Everyday Spy and they will take
28:54a course with me. The thing I want them
28:56to learn is a course I have called
28:58Opthink. It's a master course called
29:00operational thinking that I shorten to
29:02opthink. It's the best thing we've ever
29:04created. It has transformed people
29:06across the world. Uh we use it in all of
29:08our executive coaching. It includes many
29:10of the tips that we talked about today,
29:12Jonathan, from how to ask questions and
29:14how to tell lies and and how to identify
29:16uh falseness and persuasion and
29:18influence. All of that in one program.
29:20So, if people are going to pay money,
29:22that's what I would want them to learn.
29:23If they don't want to pay anything, they
29:24just want to have a great time on this
29:26podcast. Literally, just hold your
29:28tongue for 10% of the time that you and
29:31see how much more you learn.

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