Chad counseling ally — Transcript

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1. 0:04Hello Ally. How are you today?
2. 0:06>> I'm good. How are you?
3. 0:09>> Good. Good. Thank you for um for
4. 0:12joining. Um so last last session um you
5. 0:16had brought up um that you were
6. 0:20about to return to work and you know
7. 0:23your company was essentially you know
8. 0:26forcing the return to work um policy and
9. 0:30you know you had grown grown comfortable
10. 0:32with with how things were at home and
11. 0:36you know although you know your husband
12. 0:37was supportive you know you were feeling
13. 0:40um you know constrnation about the
14. 0:44return, but also more importantly the
15. 0:46the drive and and getting and getting
16. 0:49back into the um the commute, you know.
17. 0:53Um
18. 0:54>> yeah,
19. 0:55>> I'm wondering if there's any, you know,
20. 0:57updates to to those feelings and and and
21. 1:00how you're uh you know, progressing with
22. 1:03this um transition.
23. 1:06Um,
24. 1:08I guess I guess a little update is that
25. 1:12I'm still scared to drive. Um, my return
26. 1:16back is officially one month away.
27. 1:20I don't know if I explained that last
28. 1:22time, but I have a month left to get it
29. 1:24together. And
30. 1:27I
31. 1:29I don't I wouldn't say that I'm more
32. 1:32nervous to drive or less nervous. I feel
33. 1:35like
34. 1:36I'm the same. The only thing that has
35. 1:39gotten worse is my husband. He is kind
36. 1:43of just getting irritated with me about
37. 1:45the whole thing. He just like I know he
38. 1:48doesn't really understand, but I think
39. 1:50he's kind of just bringing it into like
40. 1:53an irritation kind of like he's just
41. 1:56irritated that I can't just get in the
42. 1:58car and drive like I used to.
43. 2:00>> Mhm.
44. 2:03Yeah. So, um, what I'm hearing is, you
45. 2:06know, you
46. 2:08have a month to prepare and you're your
47. 2:12husband has
48. 2:14has changed from being more supportive
49. 2:17to now kind of being irritated in your
50. 2:22um in your feelings um towards this
51. 2:25return to work. [panting]
52. 2:28Um
53. 2:30what what things have you guys um been
54. 2:33talking through that that shows that he
55. 2:36is um you know kind of changed his tone
56. 2:39with with how you're feeling about this?
57. 2:44>> Um
58. 2:46well I don't want to say he's not
59. 2:48supportive cuz he is. He's been
60. 2:51supporting me, like taking the kids to
61. 2:53school and
62. 2:55driving me to the anywhere I need to go
63. 2:58in the past couple years. So, he's he's
64. 3:01definitely not a bad guy. Just he's his
65. 3:05tone has been a bit negative every time
66. 3:08I bring it up. Now, he's like, "Okay,
67. 3:11now you drive." like trying to kind of
68. 3:14force me into
69. 3:16not force, but like he's I think he
70. 3:20thinks that pushing me into the
71. 3:21situation will make it easier for me to
72. 3:24just like kind of quit it out of my
73. 3:26mind, you know, like do it once. It's
74. 3:27like riding a bike. And I just don't
75. 3:30agree with him.
76. 3:34>> Well, I'm very uh sorry to hear that
77. 3:38that that's going on. Um,
78. 3:44what what what kinds of feelings do you
79. 3:47have when he is, you know, pushing you
80. 3:50into the driving and then have you
81. 3:53actually gotten behind the wheel and and
82. 3:54and tried it? Um, or was that not
83. 3:58successful and and kind of uh pushing
84. 4:01you into that, you know?
85. 4:04>> Um, no, it was not successful. I don't
86. 4:07want to be forced into doing something
87. 4:11when I'm not ready. And I think that's
88. 4:13the main thing that he doesn't
89. 4:14understand.
90. 4:16>> And I it's like almost him pushing me to
91. 4:19go is kind of just making me not want to
92. 4:21do it more cuz it's just adding more
93. 4:23stress.
94. 4:25>> Like
95. 4:27>> he's just making it more pressured. It's
96. 4:29like I have a month. I feel like maybe I
97. 4:31could go about it a different way. but
98. 4:33instead he just like go go go.
99. 4:39>> I hear you.
100. 4:41Yeah. Um I suppose you know well at
101. 4:44least you know we're we're talking
102. 4:46through it and um and taking the the the
103. 4:49time to you know give you the safe space
104. 4:51to to open up about this. Um, have you
105. 4:57thought of any sort of ways that you
106. 5:00can, you know, ease yourself into this
107. 5:02or is this more something you'd rather
108. 5:06just not explore as far as um, you know,
109. 5:10baby steps or or taking this one day at
110. 5:13a time?
111. 5:16Um, well, I am aware that I eventually
112. 5:20am going to have to drive. Like, I'm I
113. 5:23have the rest of my life to live. I have
114. 5:24to drive to get places. So, I'm aware of
115. 5:28that. And so, I definitely
116. 5:32want to be able to start driving again.
117. 5:34I think the only way I'll be able to is
118. 5:37to take it slowly. I think me just
119. 5:39jumping into a car and driving to work
120. 5:41on the first day is just not going to
121. 5:42happen out the way we all think it
122. 5:45should. So, I think taking it slowly is
123. 5:49definitely the best option for me. And
124. 5:50that's why I kind of want to start doing
125. 5:52something about it now since a month is
126. 5:55like not that much time.
127. 5:59>> Mhm.
128. 6:00>> Like it's a good amount of time, but
129. 6:02it's not that much time.
130. 6:04>> I see. Are are you um open to any
131. 6:07suggestions on how you might um ease
132. 6:10into this?
133. 6:11>> Please, as long as you don't tell me to
134. 6:13jump in the car and go driving around.
135. 6:18>> Okay. Um well, you know, there are um
136. 6:22you know, companies out there that that
137. 6:24can um assist you um where they're in
138. 6:29control. there's two steering wheels and
139. 6:31two brakes and those kinds of things
140. 6:33where they can take you on a driving
141. 6:35course. Um that might be an option. And
142. 6:38then, you know, even something along the
143. 6:40lines of, you know, exposure therapy um
144. 6:43via, you know, some
145. 6:46um open roads or parking lots or those
146. 6:49things um to kind of ease your way into
147. 6:52it. um maybe setting up some cones and
148. 6:55and kind of um you know exploring that
149. 6:58exposure to it, you know, slowly. Is
150. 7:00that something you'd be comfortable
151. 7:02with?
152. 7:03>> I think if I can convince my husband to
153. 7:06drive me to a parking lot and then take
154. 7:10it from there, that's something that's
155. 7:12definitely doable.
156. 7:14>> Mhm.
157. 7:14>> An empty parking lot perhaps. Um
158. 7:19going slow, I think could be a good
159. 7:21start.
160. 7:22Yeah.
161. 7:24Well, that that's good that um that
162. 7:26you're open to those kinds of things. Um
163. 7:29are
164. 7:30you willing to have that conversation
165. 7:32with your husband and um and see where
166. 7:35it goes?
167. 7:38>> Uh
168. 7:41we can definitely bring it up to him. I
169. 7:43feel like I already know what his answer
170. 7:45is going to be, but I think if I kind of
171. 7:47just nudge him enough,
172. 7:49>> then he'll kind of just have to. I guess
173. 7:52I think he won't be happy and it won't
174. 7:54be a great experience, but it might be
175. 7:56the only way, I think.
176. 7:59>> Mhm. Or maybe some friends, too. you
177. 8:02know, if if he's not being that um
178. 8:06uh you know, uh if he's not being that
179. 8:08kind to your feelings and and kind of
180. 8:11you know, overlooking them, maybe you
181. 8:13have can uh you know, explore those
182. 8:16options. Yeah.
183. 8:17>> Yeah, I could go with a friend. That's a
184. 8:19good idea actually.
185. 8:22>> Cool.
186. 8:23Okay. Well, um we're about to close up
187. 8:25session, but um I'm very glad that you
188. 8:28are making progress and and are open to
189. 8:30suggestions and you know, uh exploring
190. 8:34different options out there to um to
191. 8:36kind of ease your way back into this as
192. 8:38you only have um one month to kind of
193. 8:41get yourself ready for this um
194. 8:43transition. So, I'm here for you and and
195. 8:46I appreciate you being open and also
196. 8:48open to suggestions and um I look
197. 8:51forward to seeing your progress next
198. 8:53session. Um [clears throat]
199. 8:55>> hopefully I'll have some progress to
200. 8:57give.
201. 8:59>> Yeah, I hope hoping for you to think you
202. 9:03can do it. Stay optimistic with you too.
203. 9:07>> Yeah.
204. 9:08>> All right. Well, thank you.
205. 9:10>> Yes. [snorts] Thank you, Ally. Have a
206. 9:11good day.
207. 9:12>> You too. Bye.
208. 9:14>> Bye.