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زهقت من قصص الناجحين — Transcript

by دروس أونلاين · 3,686 words · 554 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00This video is sponsored by Courses Plus
0:01. I'm honestly fed up with all these
0:06success stories. They've started
0:08stressing me out, causing more anxiety
0:10than benefit. I've memorized all the
0:12advice. The same routine, the same
0:14habits, the same lifestyle. The same
0:16diet, waking up early, working out. Yet
0:21I feel like nothing has changed enough
0:23in my life. If this is how you feel,
0:29you're not alone. So many people share
0:31this same feeling. And this feeling is
0:33real. But what is the cause of this
0:35feeling? And is it even accurate? There
0:37is a concept that, once you grasp it,
0:39changes how you perceive advice from
0:40successful people. Just because you do
0:42everything a successful person says
0:45doesn't mean you will necessarily
0:47succeed or reach where they reached.
0:51However, if you don't avoid the things
0:53a failed person warns you about, you
0:55are very likely to fall and fail.
0:58It’s a bit strange, I know. Meaning
1:00that advice from someone who failed
1:02might be more useful than from someone
1:03who succeeded, but the dilemma is that
1:05no one is willing or likes to take
1:07advice from a failure. I mean, on what
1:09basis should I listen to you? You
1:11couldn't even help yourself, or as we
1:13say, if you were any good, you would
1:14have helped yourself. Right? Logical.
1:17Not exactly. Because we have a flaw or
1:20an old bias. It’s called survivorship
1:23bias. Yes, what is that exactly? Let me
1:26tell you. You exist right now. Because
1:30one of your ancestors throughout
1:32history, your very distant ancestors,
1:33was a survivor. Long ago, when your
1:37grandfather and his friend went out
1:39hunting, a predator ate his friend. But
1:42your grandfather was the one who
1:43survived. He returned to the tribe and
1:44told them what happened and what he did
1:46to survive. As for his friend who
1:48didn't survive, no one cares to hear
1:49his story, and he isn't even around.
1:51The picture of this plane has likely
1:53appeared in front of you at some point.
1:55And the truth is, it illustrates the
1:56idea much better. During World War II,
1:58American planes. Were returning from
1:59battles with bullet holes in the wings
2:01and the fuselage. They said, "Since the
2:03bullets hit the wings and the body,
2:05these are the places where we should
2:06add more armor and plating." Then a
2:09mathematician named Abraham Wald came
2:10along and said, "What are you guys
2:12talking about?" Yes, he actually said
2:13that. "What are you guys talking about?
2:14" What are you talking about, guys? "
2:16You should be adding armor and plating
2:18to the places where there are no bullet
2:20holes." They said, "Uncle Abraham,
2:22those are the perfectly fine areas that
2:24didn't get hit." Uncle Abraham stood
2:26his ground and said, "You bunch of
2:27soldiers, you bunch of soldiers.""The
2:29planes that got hit in the wings and
2:31the fuselage were able to return.""
2:34Which means they could handle being hit
2:36in those areas, so those spots aren't
2:37the problem.""But the planes that got
2:40hit in places other than the wings and
2:42the fuselage didn't return at all;
2:44those are the planes that went down."
2:46So, where should we put the armor?
2:48Exactly, we put the armor on the places
2:51that don't have bullet holes. So people
2:53naturally thanked him and said, "May
2:54God open doors for you, may God open
2:55doors for you, Hajj Ibrahim."
2:56Unfortunately, we act just like those
2:59soldiers. We study the survivors, or in
3:02parentheses, the successful ones, and
3:03we build our entire perception based on
3:05their story, which is incomplete—
3:07it’s not the whole story or the full
3:09picture. Great, so to complete the
3:12second part of the story, the missing
3:14episode, the remaining piece of the
3:15puzzle, we should listen to the stories
3:17of those who failed. Actually, because
3:19of the overwhelming flood of success
3:21stories spread everywhere and in every
3:23podcast episode, a feeling has
3:25developed among people. You feel like
3:27they’ve had enough of the sweet stuff
3:28; they want something savory. "Guys,
3:30bring someone who failed for a change."
3:32"We want someone like us, we don't want
3:34these superheroes." Look, you’re
3:36honestly right, and I agree with you.
3:39But there is also a huge dilemma, which
3:41is that we are never interested in
3:42hearing failure stories until that
3:44person eventually succeeds. That’s
3:46when the story becomes exciting,
3:48because you know that this failure is
3:49just a stop on the hero's journey that
3:51he will overcome. And after that, he
3:53will triumph, marry the beautiful girl,
3:55get rich, and achieve success. But on
3:57the other hand, someone who didn't
3:59succeed, a failure? What’s exciting
4:01about hearing a story that didn't end
4:03in success? An aborted story, a
4:04frustrating story. Let me tell you
4:06something that will surprise you. You
4:07wouldn't even want to watch that
4:08episode yourself. This is because the
4:10frustration you might feel afterward
4:11would be many, many times greater than
4:13the frustration you get from watching
4:14the story of someone successful, for
4:16instance. And why look any further? You
4:18rarely find anyone who likes to watch a
4:20movie where the hero ends up weak,
4:22defeated, and poor. Most people want
4:25that weak, poor hero to win in the end
4:27and triumph over the villain. That’s
4:30when you love to live through his story
4:31of struggle, grinding, and overcoming
4:33difficulties, until he takes revenge on
4:34the cursed villain, becomes wealthier
4:36than him, and marries the beautiful
4:37girl—who is usually the villain's
4:39daughter, so he wins twice. We all felt
4:41that thrill and victory when Ali
4:42married the Pasha's daughter. So now, I
4:45don't know how to deal with these
4:47success stories and the many podcasts.
4:49The ones that...That tell the great
4:51successes of hardworking people, which
4:53in the beginning used to inspire me,
4:55encourage me, and charge me up. But
4:57recently, they've started to frustrate
4:59me. Fair enough. Then we need to answer
5:01the question: How do we deal with
5:02success stories? There are a few points
5:04; if you pay attention to them, you
5:06will get the honey without the bee
5:07stinging you. The first point is that
5:09you must realize that not all stories
5:10are the same, and not all stories are
5:12suitable for you in the first place.
5:14You have to focus on the beginning—
5:16the start of the story, the beginning
5:18of that hero’s journey. Is it close
5:20to you, like you, similar to your
5:21circumstances, or to your situation? Or
5:23is it a success story where they were
5:25born into a wealthy or rich family and
5:27have many competitive advantages that
5:28you simply don't have? In light of the
5:30spread and fame of podcasts where
5:32people come to share their success
5:33stories. People get to know them, they
5:35become famous, and they are loved.
5:37Their reputation spreads, and they
5:38build a very, very strong personal
5:40brand. The successful person who hasn't
5:42appeared on a podcast yet now feels
5:44something very important and very
5:45significant is missing. Episodes
5:47featuring truly successful people have
5:48started to appear. However, they were
5:50basically born into a wealthy family. A
5:53family that owns a business. So, in one
5:54way or another, given all these
5:55supporting circumstances. Success for
5:57them becomes inevitable. Honestly,
5:58there is a wonderful scene that
6:00illustrates this point. It’s when a
6:01rich man’s son tells his father that
6:03he struggled on the pavement. His
6:04father looked at him and said, "What
6:05pavement, my dear? You...""Your nursery
6:07school was paid for in dollars." So the
6:08son said to him, "Why do you make me
6:09feel like I was born with a silver
6:10spoon in my mouth?" He replied, "But
6:12you were! Your mother used to feed you
6:13cereal with a 24-karat gold spoon
6:14inherited from your grandmother." The
6:16son said, "It doesn't matter where I
6:17was born.""The point is that I lived
6:19and struggled on the streets among the
6:20people." His father said, "What streets
6:21?""Just because I let you ride your
6:23scooter in the gated community, does
6:24that mean you struggled on the streets
6:25among the people?" Sometimes you feel
6:27there is a disconnect from reality. Or
6:28that you simply cannot relate to the
6:30words and the suffering he is talking
6:32about. In fact, the things he complains
6:34about might actually be dreams and
6:36ambitions for you; meaning his
6:37obstacles. His obstacles are dreams for
6:40you, but in all fairness, this doesn't
6:42discredit this person's story. To
6:44succeed, he definitely worked hard,
6:46struggled, and put in the effort, but
6:49the difference is that he doesn't fall.
6:51Because there is a safety net that is
6:53very, very strong supporting him. If he
6:54falls, there is money to catch him,
6:56experience to guide him, and
6:57connections to open doors for him. That
6:59same fall, if someone else experienced
7:01it without that net, it would be the
7:03end for them. This doesn't diminish the
7:05person's success or discredit it; on
7:07the contrary, because some people are
7:09born in the same circumstances with the
7:11same capabilities and the same high
7:12competitive advantages, yet they don't
7:14succeed, and they might even squander
7:16the family wealth built over
7:18generations. There is a very famous
7:20rule in business: the third generation
7:21in a family business is often the one
7:23that ruins everything. They lose the
7:24money, the business, and all those
7:26things. So, we can say that some
7:29success stories won't be appropriate
7:30for you to relate to or use as a
7:32benchmark, because circumstances vary.
7:34Therefore, it is very important to
7:35choose the success stories you listen
7:37to. Thank God, there are so many
7:39success stories nowadays. So, choose
7:41the stories you can relate to. The ones
7:43like you. The ones close to your
7:44circumstances. The ones close to your
7:45situation. This is the first point: not
7:47all success stories are the same.
7:49Choose what suits you. The second point
7:52to benefit from these successful
7:54people's stories is to avoid the
7:55superficial and focus on the core. That
7:58is the essence. Anyone successful or
8:00famous receives a lot of interest in
8:02the details of their life. What time do
8:04they wake up? What is their routine?
8:05What do they have for breakfast? What
8:06watch are they wearing? What kind of
8:08phone do they have? And so on. Well,
8:10why is there such interest? Thinking
8:12that this is an essential part of their
8:14success. So if we imitate them in these
8:17things, perhaps we will achieve that
8:19success. As naive as this notion is,
8:22you feel it’s something involuntary
8:23that we don't even think about. But we
8:26are falling short in this way, I mean.
8:28Ibn Khaldun said this hundreds of years
8:30ago: "The vanquished is obsessed with
8:31imitating the victor." And Dr. Mohamed
8:33Galal Kishk in his book "I Entered
8:35Al-Azhar" criticizes the same
8:36phenomenon. Which is that we imitate
8:39the Western style in eating, drinking,
8:40and dressing, thinking it will
8:42eventually lead us to progress like
8:44them. Completely oblivious to the real,
8:47driving reasons that pushed them to
8:49this progress and leadership. We focus,
8:51focus on the surface, the appearance,
8:54the result. Completely oblivious to the
8:56real reasons. Let me give you a
8:57brilliant example, honestly. Imagine a
8:59young man got the chassis of a luxury
9:01car, let’s say a Bugatti. He got the
9:04outer shell but installed a water pump
9:06engine in it. The car will move. I mean
9:09, the car will move and turn the four
9:10wheels. But do you expect the same
9:13performance as a real car? And can this
9:16guy say he is driving a Bugatti?
9:19Another famous example, for instance,
9:21the rich smoke fine cigars. So if you
9:24imitate them and start smoking those
9:26expensive, thick cigars, will you
9:28become rich then? So try to move past
9:31being dazzled by appearances and
9:33unimportant details, and focus on
9:34effective principles and how to apply
9:36them. And always ask yourself after
9:39every success story, every video, every
9:41podcast: What can I do in my life now
9:44based on the new knowledge I got from
9:46this episode? Don't settle for just
9:50enjoying the episode or being dazzled
9:52by the details. No, I mean, give me
9:55five minutes, no, one minute, just one
9:57minute after anything you read, listen
9:59to, or watch. I mean, to help you
10:02digest this information and benefit
10:04from it greatly, ask yourself what I
10:06can. Apply in my life based on the new
10:09information I learned, or the benefit I
10:11gained from this thing. The idea of
10:14just settling for "Oh, what a beautiful
10:16, wonderful episode," I mean, a huge
10:18mental euphoria, a great, great
10:20breakthrough. But this knowledge
10:22quickly evaporates, and you won't be
10:24able to truly benefit from it in your
10:25life. And by the way, you are the only
10:28one who can say or determine how you
10:29will use this knowledge in your life.
10:31No one knows your life better than you
10:33do. Don't wait for someone to come from
10:35outside and tell you, "Do this in such
10:37a way, and it will work." No, you, this
10:40is your homework, your duty, to see how
10:42you can apply this new knowledge into
10:44your own system. So, that is the second
10:47point: avoid the surface level and
10:49focus on the core. The third point is
10:52grasping the principle of the scarcity
10:54of success. You should know how many
10:56startups succeed and how many fail.
10:58Nine out of ten tech startups fail and
11:01close down. Of course, you don’t hear
11:03anything about these nine; what
11:05dominates the scene is the single case
11:07that succeeded. Unfortunately, none of
11:10those nine failures wants to come out
11:12and talk about it—nobody likes to air
11:14their dirty laundry, as we said, unless
11:16they achieve success. Only then will
11:19they tell you, "Look, I went through 15
11:21failed attempts or 15 failed companies,
11:24and the 16th one is what finally
11:26succeeded." At that point, there is a
11:29motivation to talk about all those past
11:31things. Because it makes them look very
11:34impressive. That he is a persistent,
11:37hardworking, and resilient man. And
11:39that he overcame all those obstacles
11:41until he succeeded. But if we look at
11:43him at the 14th attempt, while he is
11:45still in the failure stage. No one
11:48cares, as we said—if it were that
11:49good, he would have helped himself. But
11:52this scarcity of success shouldn’t
11:54discourage you; it should change the
11:56way you think about future attempts.
11:58How? When you know that nine out of ten
12:01fail, your strategy shouldn't be "how
12:03do I achieve massive success right away
12:05?" No, the strategy should be "how do I
12:08avoid being one of those nine?"—how
12:10do you avoid failure as much as
12:12possible? In truth, there is a vast
12:14difference between the two; they aren't
12:17synonymous. By the way, striving for
12:19the reasons for success and striving
12:21for the reasons to avoid failure are
12:23different. They may seem verbally
12:26synonymous, but the way our brains work
12:28differs depending on the starting point
12:30or the question you are interested in:
12:32how do I not fail? How do I not be one
12:35of those nine? Your eyes will start to
12:38see different things. You will start to
12:40notice specific details and patterns to
12:42avoid. You will be interested in asking
12:44: why did the one who fell, fall? Why
12:46did the one who failed, fail? More than
12:48you are interested in why the one who
12:49succeeded, succeeded. As we said, the
12:51two are different; they are two very
12:53different questions. So that is the
12:56third point: grasping the scarcity of
12:58success. Point four is a very critical
13:01one: what is said is not the full truth
13:03. What does that mean? Does it mean the
13:05person sharing their experience with us
13:07so openly and comfortably, and in such
13:08detail, is hiding something from us?
13:11Actually, no, they are not. It's not
13:12intentional; they aren't doing that on
13:14purpose. Every human is a prisoner of
13:15their own experience. And the person
13:17who achieved success in a certain field
13:18sees that they succeeded because of one
13:20. Two, three—and they go out and say
13:21it. But the truth is that there are
13:23many hidden reasons. He himself might
13:26not be aware of them or know them. And
13:28the largest part of his success might
13:29have been. Dependent on those hidden
13:30reasons. The ones he isn't paying
13:31attention to. So he talks about what he
13:33knows. And what he believes he did. And
13:35things like how he is. A hardworking
13:37and persistent man. And he attributes
13:38the matter to his struggle and his
13:39intelligence. These are truly important
13:41and essential reasons. But they are not
13:42all the reasons. The one who failed was
13:45also persistent. And hardworking, but
13:47their efforts weren't crowned with
13:49success due to many factors beyond
13:50their control, such as environment,
13:52timing, connections, technological
13:54development at the time, luck, and the
13:56education they received. For instance,
13:58the chance of success for an AUC or GUC
14:00graduate is often higher than someone
14:02from other colleges. The fact that they
14:04are present. In this environment opens
14:06up paths for them. And opens up doors
14:08for them. And opens up relationships
14:10that help them greatly later on. Let me
14:12tell you, even the month that person
14:14was born in. Affects their success. I
14:16know you're thinking now, "Oh come on,
14:18Ahmed, what month?" You're talking
14:19about horoscopes, nonsense, and things
14:21like that. Definitely not. We already
14:23made a video. Titled "Hard Work Does
14:24Not Lead to Success." In it, we
14:26explained in detail how your date of
14:28birth can affect your life path and
14:29your success in a purely scientific way
14:31. So it has nothing to do. With those
14:33things. And we will recommend the video
14:35to you at the end of this video on the
14:36end screen. Don't worry. The point is
14:39that all the reasons for success that a
14:41person lists or knows are not all the
14:43reasons. There are many, many, many
14:46other reasons and factors that affect
14:48their path. And they might be pivotal
14:51to their success. But they aren't aware
14:53of them. Finally, but not least, point
14:55number five. Take advice from someone
14:57one step ahead of you, not a million
14:58steps. The best person who can truly
15:01help you is the one who is just
15:02slightly ahead of you. As if they are
15:05two steps above you on the ladder. So
15:07they can reach out their hand and pull
15:08you up. And truly influence your
15:10progress in a real way. Different from
15:12the person on the tenth floor,
15:13thousands of steps away from you. You
15:16can barely hear their voice. This
15:18doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to
15:19the person who is far ahead, or gain
15:21value from them. On the contrary, you
15:23can. Gain great value from them. But
15:26it’s value in guidance, vision, and
15:29the big picture. However, the minute,
15:33actual details you are in dire need of
15:35right now, are what the person slightly
15:37ahead of you can help you with. In fact
15:41, the person who has made leaps and
15:43bounds and reached very far often isn't
15:46connected, or their connection to your
15:48reality is no longer as strong.
15:51Consequently, those details become
15:53blurry to them. So, listen to those two
15:56steps ahead for practical matters—the
15:58actual things you need to apply right
16:00now. And listen to the person who is
16:02very far ahead for principles, vision,
16:05compass, and direction. It would be
16:07very difficult for you to accept advice
16:09. On rationalizing consumption in a
16:10certain way. From someone who is
16:12extremely successful. When their shirt
16:14costs as much as your company's entire
16:16budget. So, let's keep things logical.
16:19I won't keep you waiting. Let me give
16:20you the summary of it. The point is,
16:22none of these success stories are
16:25intended to frustrate you or cause you
16:27any form of pressure, stress, or
16:29anxiety; and what summarizes the matter
16:32best is today's quote from Carl Jung.
16:35The very famous psychologist says
16:40another. He says the shoe that fits one
16:46person perfectly, might be too tight
16:48and uncomfortable for another. There is
16:51no single recipe for life that suits
16:54everyone. So take what works for you
16:56and is suitable for you, and leave the
16:57rest. And leave what doesn't fit you.
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