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Cassie Jaye on Feminism, Labels, and the #MeToo Movement — Transcript

by Cassie Jaye · 3,604 words · 512 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00[Music]
0:04[Applause]
0:14projects as that that was a better
0:17applause than I expected in Calgary yeah
0:20I don't know if any of you remember but
0:23last year there was a screening I was
0:25supposed to happen here and it was
0:28canceled due to new briefer testers and
0:30a lot of misinformation was spread in
0:34the media here about the film by people
0:36who had never watched the film but this
0:38is my first time in Calgary and I'm
0:40really happy to be here so first off
0:43thank you to Mesa the men's educational
0:46support Association for hosting the
0:49screening and inviting me to speak as
0:51well as dr. Warren Farrell that would be
0:54speaking after my talking and maybe a
0:56quick bitter mission after my talking
0:58salon so thank you all for being here
1:01and could by rates of hands how many was
1:05this your first time watching the film
1:08wow I'm shocked I thought it was mostly
1:11going to be people who have seen it
1:13online because it is available worldwide
1:14online now Amazon Prime
1:17iTunes Hulu so I do want to be
1:21respectful to all of you who are
1:23watching this for the first time because
1:25I know it's a lot to take in in two
1:27hours so I empathize with what you could
1:32be experiencing right now also if you
1:35haven't seen my TEDx talk online please
1:38please please go watch that it's the
1:39most concise accurate summary of what it
1:43was like making this film and the
1:45transformation I went through going from
1:47being a staunch feminist to finding
1:49compassion for men's issues so please
1:51watch my TEDx talk on YouTube
1:53it's called meeting my enemies so I have
1:58a few things I want to cover and if
2:00there's time afterwards all open the
2:03floor to questions but I figured it'd be
2:05best if I just answer some of the most
2:07frequently asked questions that I get so
2:09I'll just jump right in
2:11what was the best part and worst part of
2:14making a song so if you the best parts
2:16were singing fred Hayward he reunited
2:19with his son friend Hayward was the
2:21father who went to the long custody
2:23battle him and his son both went to the
2:28LA premiere of the film and his son is
2:31now an adult and very supportive of his
2:32father and his his father's work at
2:34men's issues also another cool thing was
2:37last year out of screening two people
2:40met and a couple weeks ago they got
2:44married so congratulations
2:45Tina and Stevens boga and then probably
2:49probably the best thing that has come
2:51out of this film is knowing that it
2:54literally saved lives I've gotten many
2:57emails her punching emails of people who
3:00said that they're contemplating suicide
3:02and the film gave them hope and on a
3:07personal level the best part of making
3:10this film was how it impacted my
3:11relationship to my boyfriend now husband
3:13I really do believe that learning about
3:17men's issues made me more grateful and
3:20understanding an appreciative person and
3:23that's an invaluable improvement in my
3:26life so a few of the worst parts of
3:30making this film certainly being
3:32censored wasn't fun the film has been
3:36pulled for more multiple theaters around
3:38the world because of angry protesters
3:41and last year a screening was cancelled
3:44I just told you about that exactly okay
3:48and it was actually a the the person who
3:51was interviewed by the media about me
3:53and the film was your gender studies
3:55professor here at the University of
3:57Calgary
3:57Rebecca Sullivan and I do encourage you
4:01to go watch her interview on the CBC
4:03because it is not the film that you just
4:06watched and I don't think she saw the
4:08film but she had a lot of opinions about
4:10it and there have been multiple
4:13petitions to banned a film from theaters
4:17and even
4:18petition to ban me from ever entering
4:19Australia luckily that didn't go through
4:23and someone tweeted saying that they
4:26hoped a specific screening in Australia
4:29would be shot up Batman movie premiere
4:32style with dead emerets referring to the
4:362012 / Colorado shooting so the police
4:40investigated that and certainly my name
4:44has been smeared in a lot of mainstream
4:47outlets that I used to trust so that's
4:50been really disheartening to realize so
4:54another popular question I get is why
4:57did you become a feminist and were you
4:59really a feminist so I became a feminist
5:04late into his third wave feminism before
5:08fourth wave so third wave is understood
5:10to be the resurgence in the 90s that
5:13continued through to the early 2000s and
5:15fourth wave is understood to be the
5:18social media wave of feminism that
5:20started around 2012 so I became a
5:23feminist around 2004 and it was right
5:27when feminists ENCOM was founded by
5:30Jessica Valenti
5:31are any of you familiar with Jessica
5:33Linton so here's a fun fact Jessica not
5:38only plugged my first feature
5:41documentary called daddy ado which was
5:43about sex education she plugged it on
5:45feminist ENCOM but also in 2010 she
5:50asked me to send her a personal copy of
5:51my film for research that she was doing
5:54into purity so I did and a year later
5:58she released her own documentary about
6:00purity so for those who are saying was I
6:05really a feminist and how much of a
6:06feminist live I you could say that I was
6:08influencing one of the most prominent
6:11modern-day feminists today I mean she
6:13has a huge platform and she's considered
6:16being a resource for learning about
6:19women's issues she wasn't the only one I
6:23was also in contact with Amanda Marcotte
6:26are you familiar with her
6:28another extreme feminist who I adored at
6:34the time and I spent two days filming
6:37her and driving her around la for my
6:39documentary w I do and she helped
6:41promote my film and invited me to speak
6:43on her podcast but now today I can't
6:48even see what she's up to because she's
6:50blocked me from Twitter after the
6:53release of the red pill but there was a
6:56time that I was supported by the
6:58feminist community and just to rattle
7:00off a couple other examples Planned
7:03Parenthood hosted a screening tour of my
7:06first film daddy I do where I flew from
7:08state to state with my mother who was my
7:10film producer and it was a wonderful
7:14experience and and if my film was used
7:16as a conversation starter for the work
7:18that Planned Parenthood was doing and I
7:24feel like after making a red pill one of
7:29the things I missed the most is having
7:31that kind of sisterhood and I really did
7:33get that from feminism that camaraderie
7:35among women and back when I was a
7:39feminist I believed that its purpose was
7:42to lift each other up offer support and
7:45encouragement and to stand up for women
7:47who were experiencing real injustice and
7:50if it's simply that I still support that
7:53but if my beliefs didn't stop there I
7:57did believe in patriarchy theory I did
8:00believe that throughout history men have
8:02oppressed women and that women are
8:03subjugated I and I didn't believe that
8:07there were any men's issues because they
8:10had all the power and privilege and
8:12there was if there was anything for men
8:15to complain about because they had all
8:17the power than it's their problem to
8:19solve it's not women's problem to solve
8:22so I believed all those things and so
8:24when people ask wasn't really a feminist
8:26yeah I was a feminist so why don't I
8:32call myself a feminist anymore it was
8:33probably the most common question I get
8:36what I've now realized is that feminism
8:40is
8:41and being movement for gender equality
8:43and I wouldn't even say today about it's
8:46a movement for women I truly believe
8:51that feminism is for feminism it's for
8:55an ideology and a belief system that
8:59women are oppressed and that men are the
9:02oppressors if I'm gonna swerve for
9:05gender equality and work for women then
9:07I think they would see the value in this
9:09film and what I'm doing and the vast
9:11majority of feminists don't support this
9:13film or the work that I'm doing so I did
9:17drop the label with feminists for many
9:19reasons and I'm also not an a men's
9:22rights activist because I don't want
9:25either movement to speak for me and I
9:27don't want to speak for them
9:28I have not adopted a new label like the
9:32Galit Aryan or humanist equalist
9:35humanitarian because right now I don't
9:38see the point and just ask yourself what
9:45is the purpose of labels I believe the
9:48purpose of labels is to have a shorthand
9:50method of explaining to someone I know
9:54what you are how you vote or what you
9:58believe for instance saying if someone
10:00saying I am gay or I am a Democrat or
10:04I'm Christian but when it comes to an
10:07ideology around gender theory we're not
10:10all operating from the same dictionary
10:14so you may have a definition of feminist
10:17or MRA in your mind but that doesn't
10:20mean that the person you're talking to
10:21has that same definition so where is the
10:25shorthand communication in that if
10:27anything you're miss communicating by
10:29using a label because you don't know
10:31what the other person's definition is
10:33the other night I was talking to my
10:35husband about this and I asked him do we
10:38need labels and he said no they're for
10:43people who don't want to have a real
10:45conversation
10:47okay and then he paused and continued or
10:53therefore people who who haven't done
10:56the research and are bandwagoning so
11:00maybe wonder could Emma Watson have
11:03delivered her speech to the United
11:05Nations about her he for she campaign
11:09without mentioning feminism or proudly
11:12identifying herself as a feminist she
11:15had about twelve minutes at the podium
11:16of uninterrupted time to speak couldn't
11:19she have talked about women's issues
11:21without trying to I evangelize the label
11:24of feminists and then I thought well
11:27Beyonce in 2014 didn't have any real
11:31conversation when she blasted the word
11:34feminist in all capital letters on her
11:36stage while performing just the label
11:39itself and bright lights according to
11:42Time magazine twelve million Americans
11:44watched that concert on TV I wonder how
11:48many of them have never even considered
11:49calling themselves a feminist before and
11:52didn't know anything about the history
11:54or goals of the movement but they saw
11:57that beyonce wears label proudly so how
12:00many of her fans fit my husband's
12:02description of bandwagoning without
12:05doing any research now I really want to
12:10be clear I am not trying to diminish or
12:13attack anyone who does wear a label
12:14proudly not at all just for myself
12:18personally today I I'd rather have real
12:22long even conversations and do research
12:27rather than letting a label define me or
12:31having the mixed definitions of that
12:34label to find me but sadly that won't
12:38stop other people from defining me the
12:41media has frequently printed my name as
12:43being that I'm an MRA or that I'm alt
12:47right which I am NOT I'm a registered
12:49Democrat and I have been my entire whole
12:51life and I found that oftentimes what is
12:57said about someone
12:58is remembered more than what they set it
13:00with themselves and that's why my film
13:03has been protested and pulled from movie
13:05haters because the anger has been based
13:07on misinformation based on what other
13:10people said about me but not what I said
13:12about myself I think so moving on this
13:18is a fun section another frequent
13:21question I've been getting a lot
13:22recently is what my thoughts are on the
13:24me to movements I'm gonna take a drink I
13:39feel like I can give the a/v perspective
13:42since I did live in LA for five years
13:45pursuing acting I was a struggling
13:47actress from 18 years old to 23 and I
13:51did experience an appropriate behavior
13:53by producers and directors unwanted
13:56sexual attention all that but I first
13:59want to illustrate how living in LA and
14:02working in the film industry is not your
14:05average lifestyle so let me give you a
14:07couple examples to paint a picture of
14:09what I saw and experienced in Hawaii
14:13okay so one time I went to the Playboy
14:16Mansion for what was called the
14:19Candyland party an annual fundraising
14:22event for charity where women were to
14:24dress like candy and men were to wear
14:27all white yes women were to just like
14:29candy so how do you do that well I wore
14:34a metallic silver LeMay to dress that
14:39was actually my favorite costume back
14:41when I played the Tin Man and The Wizard
14:42of Oz and platform high heels hoping
14:46that I achieved the look of a candy
14:47wrapper
14:47I was about 18 or 19 years old at this
14:51point but when I got to the party I
14:54realized it's not a bad thing you
14:56realize but I realized that I was the
14:57most dressed woman there most of the
15:00women and there were thousands of them
15:02most of them were donning things like
15:05candy necklace songs whipped creams as
15:09as bras
15:11bodypaint and mostly just lingerie that
15:15was a candy-themed so why did I go to
15:19the Playboy Mansion because I was
15:21invited through my talent agency and I
15:23was curious and that is another thing
15:25that when a struggling actress an
15:27Italian agency they get invites to these
15:29fancy red-carpet events or things like
15:31the Playboy Mansion hoping that young
15:33beautiful women attend these events to
15:35make it look more populated with all
15:37these beautiful women so I was curious
15:40and all in all it turned out to be very
15:43safe and the men were actually as far as
15:46I could tell we're extremely respectful
15:48all the women in what they were wearing
15:50or the activity that they're engaging
15:52when engaging in as far as I can tell
15:55they were all consenting adults but you
15:59know it's probably not something that a
16:01lot of people out outside of LA
16:03experience right and for those that do
16:07experience it it must give you a
16:10different perspective on dating and
16:12relationships I mean it has to right in
16:14LA
16:15um because there aren't really any rules
16:18and and there's not much that is taboo
16:21in LA and men and women both quickly
16:25find out that there's a lot to gain by
16:28making connections with powerful and
16:30wealthy people so I have a lot of weird
16:34la stories and many involving
16:36celebrities which are fun to tell but I
16:38don't have time to share them all today
16:39so I'm just gonna kind of jump around
16:41but another weird night was I worked as
16:45an atmosphere model yes atmospheric
16:47model for jay-z's Club opening where
16:52there were over a hundred a hundred of
16:54us girls in our early 20s who were hired
16:56for $100 an hour to populate the club to
17:00make it to make it look you know filled
17:03with all these beautiful young win and
17:05so the agreement was that we just had
17:07some mix and mingle
17:08we had a four hour minimum and truth' a
17:11two-drink Max and we weren't supposed to
17:14tell anyone that we were hired to be
17:17there or anything so I was playing pool
17:20with Charles Barkley who I
17:23famous basketball player where he asked
17:28me do you like brothers and I said no I
17:34have three sisters seconds later I
17:41realized what he meant but he was
17:43already gone
17:44talking to a rod but you know in
17:48hindsight but yeah so atmosphere
17:54modeling is very common promotional
17:57modeling great girls shot girls which
17:59are girls that promote liquor and clubs
18:02all those entry-level no education
18:06required job positions for women are
18:08very alluring to struggling actresses
18:11and the common theme here is that the
18:15more beautiful you are and the more
18:17you're willing to use your beauty as a
18:19business asset the more you'll be paid
18:21and that's why a female models are paid
18:24more than male models yeah there's a
18:26wage gap there so here's another
18:30personal example when I was about 20
18:33years old that was cast in a low-budget
18:35horror film and on at the end of the
18:38first day of shooting the director who
18:41happens to be a woman she came up to me
18:44and said that the producers decided
18:46there needed to be nudity in the movie
18:49and the only role that made sense to be
18:51nude was my role immediately I had no
18:55problem saying no I will not do nudity
18:57because I made a promise to myself in or
18:58would also I knew that they couldn't
19:00recast me because if they didn't they'd
19:03have to reshoot everything we shot that
19:04day so I had a little bit of leverage
19:06there so the next day that the writers
19:09added in a new scene where one of the
19:11male characters is caught with a hooker
19:13so they were on an actress last minute
19:18she was darling and sweet and had no
19:20problem doing nudity and she had just
19:23once seemed to film where she was
19:25topless and for that one scene she got
19:28paid more then went myself and the other
19:31female lead got paid for the
19:33hi Ruby so I share these stories because
19:37I want to show you how LA and the film
19:39industry is a completely different world
19:42and the film industry is the wild wild
19:45west there are no rules and the line
19:49between sex and business is very blurry
19:51and a man can say have sex with me and
19:55I'll give you this role just as much as
19:57a woman and say if you give me this role
19:59I'll have sex with you and when you have
20:01a lot of money and a lot of Fame and a
20:04lot of drugs there are things that
20:06people will do that they're not proud of
20:08either situations that will stumble into
20:11or situations will cause so regarding my
20:15thoughts on me to the part of me that
20:18cares deeply about justice for women
20:20because I still care about women even
20:24though I care about men says she says
20:25well that it didn't change the fact that
20:27I still care about women's issues so the
20:30part of me that cares about justice for
20:32women wants to believe that the me to
20:35movement has helped women find strength
20:37to share their sexual assault stories
20:40with law officials for due process to
20:43take place and find healing through that
20:47but when I look at the meter movement
20:49and what it has inspired I don't see
20:52healing as the main result I see an
20:56inspiring hatred directed at men in
20:58general and also cruel and degrading
21:00treatment of men who have come out with
21:03their own me two stories and so much of
21:07the dialogue is overtly gendered saying
21:11women are breaking their silence against
21:14men's actions rather than victims
21:17calling out perpetrators and then
21:21there's the falsely accused who should
21:25be considered victims as well although a
21:29false accusation may not physically
21:32violate your body like a sexual assault
21:34would a false allegation can make your
21:37entire life and life's work crumble
21:39before your eyes because sometimes an
21:42allegation is all it takes to lose your
21:45job
21:46to lose your child and possibly lose
21:49your life through suicide so I'm not
21:54going to go into the osteon agentive
21:56story because it sounds like there's
21:58some new developments happening where
22:00she's claiming that the 17 year olds boy
22:04that he claimed that she sexually
22:07assaulted him now she's claiming that he
22:08sexually attacked her as a 37 year old
22:12woman and there's a lot to impact unpack
22:16there with what her defense is saying
22:17and we don't have enough time to go
22:20through all that firstly but I would
22:22like to end with my thoughts on a
22:25headline of one of the mainstream
22:28reviews of the film so this is the Ali
22:30times film review of the read health the
22:33headline rented the red pill only makes
22:37worse the divide between men's and
22:40women's rights activists when I first
22:44saw this I had to step back and take a
22:46hard look at myself and a film I had
22:49created I wondered was it really
22:52creating more of a divide but the more I
22:56thought about it the more I realized no
22:59this film is not widening the chasm I
23:03truly believe this film is a worthy step
23:06in building a bridge between the sides
23:08and I wish I could ask this LA Times
23:12film reviewer Katie Walsh to imagine
23:15just for one second that there are two
23:17people who haven't gotten along and one
23:20person has been shouting their
23:22grievances and the other has remained
23:24quiet and stoic if the stoic person all
23:28of a sudden started speaking up for
23:30themselves and telling them the other
23:32what they've been experiencing and then
23:34what heart should say face would would
23:37an outside observer look at that
23:39situation and think that the stoic
23:42person is now creating a more difícil
23:44atmosphere by doing that they speaking
23:47up for themselves I think what they
23:50would see is that the division has
23:51always been there and the only way to
23:54move towards unity is if both people
23:57understand
23:58the others grievances so does this
24:01filming the divided words now when the
24:04goal is justice for all
24:06then everyone deserves to be heard thank
24:09you for listening

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