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Carl Wilkens: Building Peace, Lessons from Rwandan Genocide — Transcript

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0:08always each time I talk about Rwanda and
0:10i' I've done it more than a thousand
0:12times I me I've been doing this
0:14literally been doing it fulltime since
0:162008 and part-time since two for the
0:19four years before
0:20that two things one I can never do
0:24justice to this story and so right at
0:25the beginning I just tell people this is
0:27not a balanced presentation on what
0:30happened in the Rwanda genocide it's
0:31going to be very very light on the
0:34horror side and very heavy on the side
0:37of people who stood up against it which
0:39could give people a very um IMB if if my
0:43lecture was the only thing they heard it
0:44could be a rather imbalanced
0:46presentation the reason I'm light on the
0:48horror side is because I do this every
0:51almost every day and I don't think
0:53emotionally mentally I could handle
0:56going back to those places in my mind
0:59and often and I'm also not convinced
1:01that horror stories are really going to
1:03change the world cuz we've got a lot of
1:05horror stories and and so the stories
1:07need to be told and there's no way I
1:09want to minimize that and that's what I
1:12kind of why I make the disclaimer kind
1:13of why I sort of feel guilty if I don't
1:16but but we also need to know about the
1:18people who um who who did not accept the
1:22unacceptable and so um that's one thing
1:26and then the other thing is just kind of
1:28witch stories to go go with as we spend
1:31time together here this evening and I I
1:33really hope that we will have a kind of
1:35more formal question and answer time
1:37towards the end but I just I I very much
1:40hope that even in the process somebody
1:42just shoots up their hand I love it
1:44it'll just make my day okay so hopefully
1:46you'll have a question when you do that
1:48but um but that this can be
1:51conversational I really really want it
1:53to be way and actually I'm not starting
1:56at the beginning where I often do I'm
1:57starting sort of at the end because I'm
1:59like I want make sure I get to this and
2:01if I get carried away with other stories
2:03and I don't get to the end I'm like I
2:04wanted to get to that and so so I'm
2:06starting here at the end where where the
2:08genocide is over I'm reunited with with
2:12my wife and our three children my wife's
2:13here and I'll I'll introduce her to you
2:16in a little bit um but uh we're we're in
2:19Nairobi here and we spent a year and a
2:22half in Rwanda after the genocide then
2:25moved back to the States and uh lived in
2:28Oregon for about 11 years
2:30family's all grown up now if you back up
2:32from this picture with the kids to to
2:35and this is I guess this is two years or
2:37year two years old was it Christmas last
2:39year 2011 10 I think but anyway and uh
2:42Sean who was that little redheaded kid
2:45that was always easy to find in Kigali
2:48is now a tall redheaded kid who's pretty
2:51easy to find in Shanghai he's teaching
2:54school over there Lisa over here is too
2:58um so funny I'm easily distracted my
3:01Rwanda friends they they first see this
3:04picture I've showed it to a couple and
3:05they're like Lisa has a baby and I'm
3:07like oh no that's that's her dog and
3:09we're rwandans and for many developing
3:11countries people are like why would you
3:13hold a dog but anyway um Lisa Lisa is
3:17teaching first graders in Shanghai and
3:20uh mind's working with Tes and I in the
3:22little organization we formed um she's
3:25helping us distribute this book I
3:27finally got together and pulled the
3:29tapes I made tapes to my wife and
3:31children during the genocide because I
3:33didn't know if I was going to survive so
3:35I just got this idea talk on some
3:36cassette tapes so I had about eight
3:38hours of those tapes and um since yeah I
3:41was here last fall well no a year ago
3:45fall 2010 um finally got this thing done
3:49so I'm very happy to have the book done
3:50haven't gone with a regular publisher
3:52yet so it's still self-publish world so
3:54Mindy is helping us distribute this and
3:55and make arrangements for speaking and
3:57visiting to schools um
4:00all around the country and we actually
4:01got into Poland last May I was just in
4:04uh I'll show you some pictures of other
4:05stuff later going to China in March I
4:07think some of you who might have been
4:08here last year we had just done this
4:10bicycle trip the year before um had this
4:14crazy idea that instead of flying all
4:16around the country we would pedal from
4:18our home in Spokane Washington to DC and
4:21it would have been really cool if we'd
4:22had done the whole thing but it was
4:24still cool that we made it to La a,
4:281,600 miles nothing to be ashamed of um
4:31but we were speaking at schools all
4:33along the way and often the kids would
4:34ride with us you know it's was just
4:35great living on on bikes for nine months
4:38was fabulous my wife is I mean can you
4:40imagine your mom's come on she's easily
4:43your mom um nine months living on a bike
4:48shoot come on yeah but um but one of the
4:53boys that we met um here he is Jordan
4:57Jordan in eighth grade he learned about
4:58Holocaust and like some of you guys in
5:01in middle school and and genocide really
5:03passionate throughout High School making
5:05a difference inviting speakers to a
5:07school we're there in his gymnasium on
5:09this bicycle trip 850 kids all there
5:12because Jordan invited us to a school
5:14Jordan wrote to Desmond Tut to invited
5:16him and he didn't come but he did right
5:18back and anyway Jordan was just all
5:21about making attending rallies he's
5:23about to graduate this is uh in 2010
5:26he's going to graduate in June 2010 and
5:29he's like okay rallies have been great
5:31activist groups fundraising it's all
5:33been good but I'm going to Sudan and Mom
5:35and Dad not too excited but um Jordan
5:39determined kid and uh so he's all over
5:41the internet looking for some
5:42organization who he can partner with and
5:44go especially South Sudan's where he
5:45wanted to go you know the new country
5:47coming and all that cool stuff and
5:49nobody wants an 18-year-old with no
5:51skills and and so he's at a rally in San
5:54Jose for Dar for and the you know ending
5:57the genocide there in Dar for and he
5:59meets Deng some of you I'm sure have
6:01heard the Lost Boys of Sudan Deng was uh
6:045 years old when his home was attacked
6:06heighted A Thousand Miles this kid and
6:09tragically as I was reading about you
6:11know some of those stories thought came
6:13to me what about the Lost Girls of Sudan
6:16huh we don't hear about them because as
6:18you'd read about stories of characters
6:20like Den would be overcome by malicious
6:23be be captured intercepted ambushed by
6:25malicias and stuff the young men often
6:27would make it out that the young women
6:30at best they would be taken slaves and
6:32that life would be a very very short
6:35life it's it's something that um you you
6:38you got to stop and think about and and
6:42and women and and I'll hit this several
6:45times here this evening I am just so
6:47such a believer in the role that women
6:50play in security and stability in a home
6:54in a community in a nation and the role
6:57that women play is something that
6:59that'll be h on a lot here this evening
7:02for very personal reasons as as you'll
7:04see in a little bit but Jordan did a
7:06whole bunch of fundraising he got his
7:08town behind him Templeton California and
7:11graduated Wednesday Thursday night I
7:12don't remember skipped the senior party
7:14that weekend because Friday morning he's
7:15on a plane in La going to Nairobi where
7:18he's meeting D deng's wife and children
7:20still in Kenya you know Refugee and
7:22mooved a lot of people from Sudan Kenya
7:24and so Deng met him at the airport they
7:26get on a bus they go to campala Jordan
7:29has his Connections in campala they rent
7:31the truck big dump truck buy a whole
7:33bunch of bags of cement and and building
7:35supplies cuz Deng had gotten 20,000
7:38bucks to start a clinic in his hometown
7:40Jordan had
7:42$3,500 which he decided to spend on
7:45mosquiton Nets and textbooks dang by the
7:48way is stud working on a masters in
7:49public health so I think Jordan was
7:51talking to him what do we do what's the
7:52best thing South Sudan and that's what D
7:54I'm sure suggested was mosquito Nets and
7:57textbooks and so this is just an awesome
7:59picture because since June 29
8:032010 he had 525 mosquito Nets and to get
8:07a mosquit net you had to either be
8:08pregnant or have a baby most vulnerable
8:10groups so so 525 now times two pregnant
8:14little baby 1,50 people sleeping under
8:18mosquito Nets since 2000 since June how
8:21many people you think are still alive
8:23today because of those mosquito Nets
8:25that malaria has not killed I'm thinking
8:28if the boy does nothing Nelson is like
8:31this is this is huge already but that's
8:33just the beginning for Jordan he I I
8:36could tell you more of those stories but
8:37I just I wanted to I wanted to brag on
8:40him because um um he inspires me in in
8:43in his passion for um making a
8:46difference and he's going to school in
8:49um Long Beach now he's he's there uh was
8:53telling me when he's playing soccer with
8:55those kids in South Sudan there is there
8:58is no difference
9:00don't talk to me about skin color or
9:02languages or cultures soccer of course
9:05is the great equalizer I mean but but
9:07we're Are All One race the human race
9:09and and so Jordan really really
9:12inspiring character um these are this is
9:16a little little different thing I got my
9:18t-shirt on here tonight and um it's
9:21called the million bone project and and
9:24I I bring this because there's all kinds
9:26of ways we can respond to genocide and
9:29and this is a pretty interesting
9:31creative she's an artist um in
9:35Albuquerque got this idea and and in the
9:38spring next year 2013 she plans to lay
9:41out with all kinds of people from all
9:44across America she plans to lay out a
9:48million Bones on the mall in Washington
9:50DC these are not real bones these are
9:53bones that people have gotten together
9:54at workshops and made them out of I
9:56don't know plaster or or clay or they're
9:59saying right now lighter is better cuz
10:02you got to transport all of these but
10:04this was uh last August we did a kind of
10:06little prething in Albuquerque we laid
10:09out 50,000 bones in the street here um
10:13has a lot of um a lot of lessons and
10:16stuff here I'll tell you one of the big
10:17things that hit me as I was there and
10:19everybody is respectfully laying out
10:21these bones on a main street in Al
10:24Albuquerque was was you can't tell if
10:28these are bones of African people Asian
10:32people European people what whatever
10:35because we are all just this is this is
10:39who the core of who we are and and as
10:41they say that I haven't I haven't hosted
10:43my own kind of bone making seminar yet
10:46I'm on the road so much that's my excuse
10:48right now but they say as people sit
10:51around and talk about the issues in
10:54whatever country they are passionate
10:55about what's been going on and you're
10:57forming there's something about working
10:59with your hands and You artist people
11:01you know what we're talking about that
11:03that this shaping I know it could seem
11:05very morbid and very Twisted what do you
11:06spend
11:07time one of the things I've learned
11:09about after the or I'm still learning
11:11after the wandon genocide is if we
11:15can't not
11:17judge we should at least slow down
11:21before we judge so I just wanted to just
11:23mention the one project this is just one
11:25rather different way that people are
11:27responding here at Elon you've got a a
11:29stand chapter you've got um a invisible
11:33children's chapter you've got other
11:35groups who are responding in very very
11:38meaningful ways too um and and this man
11:42and his wife um this is just another
11:46kind of R it's it's in the middle but in
11:48the middle of the
11:50story they both had ID cards that said
11:52hu Rwanda had the majority of people had
11:55ID cards that said hu the minority had
11:57ID cards that said toy and if you want
12:00to in the question and answer period we
12:02can explore some of that a little deeper
12:04as like I did with a couple classes
12:05today but um but when I finally got down
12:08and made these tapes um this lady she is
12:13such a sweetie she and her husband
12:16chose to stay in my home with me during
12:18the genocide there's a young lady and a
12:21young man you'll meet who had toots
12:23cards which meant they were marked to be
12:24killed who stayed in my home too but
12:27this man and his wife stayed and um just
12:31to just to support and and what a huge
12:35support they were she's the one who
12:36would go down to the gate when the
12:37militia The Killers would come and um
12:40she's the one who would talk to them
12:42like a mom she would she would kind of
12:44pull the pull the mom card on them um
12:48let's just see trapped at home soldiers
12:50next door yeah yeah I in these things um
12:54I would sometimes just write in here
12:56like I talked on the tape like it's the
12:59tape April 19 dear Teresa today's been
13:02relatively quiet in terms of gunfire and
13:05I've been doing more reading Ling in the
13:07hallway was getting old so I dragged a
13:08mattress to our bedroom to the spot
13:10between the bed and the closet built
13:12sheltered a bit sheltered and different
13:14scenery I hadn't been there long when I
13:16heard a shot a thud that sounded like
13:18bricks crumbling I waited 15 minutes and
13:21everything remained quiet so I silently
13:22crept outside for a look around sure
13:24enough a stray bullet had slammed into
13:26our bedroom wall I'm not saying this to
13:28cause any worry and says how no one will
13:30listen to this tape until it's all over
13:31and I'm safe back together with you
13:33Mindy Lee and Sean oh but I got to tell
13:35you about yesterday and I won't go in
13:37and read the whole story but there were
13:39soldiers that were next door that day
13:41they had kind of taken over a house next
13:43door and they were having roasting a
13:45goat and having a party when they saw
13:47the young man who was our Watchman who
13:50was Tootsie and typically they would say
13:52a tootsy people would be tall and
13:54slender and perhaps a little lighter
13:56skin and this young man kind of fit that
13:59stereotype and these soldiers saw him
14:01and they started saying Toots and all of
14:03a sudden we thought our house was going
14:04to be storm and the one who dealt with
14:07those soldiers first off was this lady
14:10courageously she walked through the yard
14:12over towards the fence right next door
14:14to us and um and uh what did she uh yeah
14:19I hadn't made a big deal about this boy
14:21hiding in our house because most of the
14:22neighbors knew it but uh um anyway I
14:26won't read that section but I just was
14:29clicking it through and I forgot I had
14:30their picture here they're now retired
14:32in Rwanda oh he's the one too who who
14:35gave me just great advice he said Carl
14:38first three weeks I couldn't get out of
14:40my house it's 247 curfew the killing is
14:42going on all around he says Carl if
14:44you're going to make any difference you
14:45got to form a relationship with the
14:47people at top so I'm going to inro I'll
14:50introduce you to to some of the people I
14:52did build a relationship with during the
14:53genocide but it was his wise counsel his
14:56um his even keeled a approach our
15:00neighborhood got really cut off from the
15:01rest of the city at one point and people
15:03couldn't get to the Red Cross Hospital
15:06who were wounded and I thought I would
15:08set up a clinic on my front porch I
15:10didn't have a lot of Medical Training
15:11but I'd get to the Red Cross and get
15:13supplies and stuff and he's like okay
15:15yeah there's definitely a need around
15:17the neighborhood and stuff but maybe a
15:19clinic on the front porch Carl why don't
15:21you go to their house instead of them
15:23coming to your house and I'm like oh
15:27good idea and it actually was a very
15:29good idea in the evening the last few
15:31weeks of the genocide I'd get home I
15:33basically was hauling food and water and
15:35medicine to groups of Orphans get home
15:37in the evening tried to get home before
15:384:00 because mortars would fall a lot
15:41heavier in the afternoon but um and then
15:44I would take my gym bag and I'd go
15:46around the neighborhood from home to
15:47home to home did a lot to improve um
15:52relationships with all of the strain and
15:54the fear and the suffering that was
15:56going on around so I I'm glad I get to
15:58introduce you to these two Pastor sah
16:01and his wife we just always called her
16:03ma her name is
16:05Phoebe I understand some of you are
16:07going to be starting this book next week
16:09very very cool this is the reason why
16:12not just this book but what was going on
16:14in Sudan in Dar four this is why in 200
16:18um8 I quit my job Trice and I again
16:21Together made this decision quit my job
16:23and started traveling full-time to
16:25schools I'm saying look for 88 nights
16:29I'm sleeping in the hallway of my house
16:30wondering if the rest of the world gives
16:31a rip during the Rwandan
16:34Genocide now I'm outside in the rest of
16:37the world what am I doing and so that's
16:40um when with the DAR for the genocide
16:43going on there was really what finally
16:44got me talking to an activist some of
16:46you know with stand and genocide
16:48intervention Network Adam Sterling about
16:50what was going on and said yeah okay cuz
16:53they I don't know honestly when you
16:56introduced me the only American that
16:57stayed in Rwanda I haven't found any
16:59other Americans yet in kagali I'm pretty
17:02sure there were no others who were there
17:04especially in the section of the city
17:06that was controlled by the genocidal
17:07government where all the killing was
17:09going on that's that's where I was but I
17:11wasn't the only Foreigner this might
17:14have been the only American but there
17:15were five Catholic Sisters of Charity
17:17from Spain courageous sisters ah man and
17:20and two Catholic fathers a Frenchman and
17:22a German in a church the sisters were
17:24with an orphanage in old folks home they
17:26said there's no way we're leaving here
17:29I didn't get to write a whole lot about
17:31them but a little bit Mother Superior in
17:32Nairobi sent word over there to the UN
17:34you get in there and you get those
17:36sisters out of there you break down the
17:37gates if you have to but those sisters
17:39they weren't going anywhere and um very
17:42courageous and then the fathers they
17:45were at a church trying to protect a
17:46group of people in a church and
17:48unfortunately that didn't end well at
17:51all the people were the two fathers
17:53weren't murdered there's an incredible
17:56respect in Rwanda like many developing
17:59countries for foreigners an incredible
18:02value and respect and so some people say
18:06well you know do you think you were
18:07safer because you were you know a
18:10foreigner in some ways yeah I think so
18:14other ways they threatened uh there were
18:16rumors going around I would be kidnapped
18:18and held as a hostage and all those
18:19other things so I was kind of I was also
18:21pretty high-profile in the fact that I
18:23was traveling around the city um but uh
18:26five Catholic sisters two Catholic
18:28fathers myself that's a Frenchman with a
18:31house just a regular home 12 orphans
18:33kids affected by AIDS either parents
18:35died for AIDS or they are HIV positive
18:38and when all the other foreigners five
18:40six 7,000 I'm not sure how many
18:42foreigners there were in the city there
18:43were a lot when all of them left Mark
18:46the Frenchman no J I'm not leaving and
18:51he's there with his his little home and
18:53orphans long hair and beard the kids
18:56called them Jesus that's that's number n
18:59and the and the Swiss director of the
19:02Red Cross Philip guyard if you've seen
19:04this documentary ghost of Rwanda you'll
19:06meet philli very powerful story and a
19:09very a very fabulous human um philli
19:13stay throughout now there were some
19:14forigners who'd come into the Red Cross
19:16for a week or two week stint I even met
19:18a guy from um Kirkland Washington State
19:21my home is Spokan Washington so so there
19:23were some foreigners who would come for
19:25a week or two and then they would leave
19:27you know the relief kind of type of
19:29thing with with the Red Cross and there
19:31were some of the others with the UN who
19:33were there for that un Mission but in
19:36any case um I'm going skip this one and
19:39uh we we were just in Abu Dhabi the last
19:42couple of weeks had a great time some of
19:45you probably seen the architecture is
19:46just stunning Dubai and Abu Dhabi but we
19:49were speaking at schools there and um it
19:52was our first time to to be able to
19:54speak in the Middle East and
19:56um I just loved
19:59the little pictures I would see of the
20:01people of the middle the little mental
20:02images that are sticking with me uh
20:05we're at like a Epcot over there it's
20:08the global village and so it's all kinds
20:10of countries represented and even Ferris
20:13Wheel rides but I love you know all the
20:16dads are in their white robes and their
20:18and their head boy what do you call
20:21that okay thank you um and the women
20:26with their uh abas and and
20:32um yes thank you the dads were just
20:36incredibly attentive to their
20:39kids now that shouldn't be a surprise
20:43I'm told after being there but you know
20:45how stereotypes are and I hadn't spent
20:48much time and I just I just looked at
20:51that and I'm like cool very very very
20:55cool but because well and and the other
20:58thing
21:00um come on there was one other thing
21:02that really hit me it was
21:04really Teresa what was the other thing
21:08oh well it'll come later if it's
21:10important yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah my
21:12friend I met a new guy from Saudi Arabia
21:15and and he's in Dubai he's back and
21:17forth he's in finance Banking and stuff
21:19like that and uh took us out to eat and
21:21just couldn't feed us enough we're at an
21:23Indian restaurant you got to try this no
21:25you got to try that and he knows we're
21:26vegetarians well how about this and I'm
21:27like
21:29Jamal this is so much and and we're done
21:32barely getting out of the restaurant so
21:34full there's this French bakery next
21:36door you got to
21:37try wait okay let's go and um and and
21:42when I when I say Jal it's just too much
21:44food he says listen if I really went
21:47Arab on you he says we would only be be
21:50beginning this food Journey he says here
21:53and I'm like go Arab on me I like it I
21:57like it a lot
21:59because I think many of my friends back
22:00home they would wonder what that just
22:03like I but the hospitality and the
22:05generosity it was it was a fabulous
22:07visit I know that that this school let's
22:10see this microphone I'm not doing very
22:12good am I okay I'll cover my
22:15t-shirt um let's see if this
22:18will hopefully not drive crazy there um
22:22yeah it was just it was gorgeous but I
22:24know this school is known for um its
22:27travel and and uh your students and your
22:29International experiences so I'm
22:31preaching to the choir here but uh the
22:34History part just real fast late late
22:361800s the Germans are there in Rwanda
22:38World War I and uh everything at the end
22:41of World War I taken away from Germany
22:43the belgians come in the belgians do
22:46find um a group of people who call
22:48themselves Tootsie uh many of them in
22:51Chief positions of different uh hills
22:53around the country and stuff Hutu is
22:55also in Chief positions but more
22:57tootsies and H
22:59and and and the big difference which is
23:00no big difference if you ask me but they
23:03they they would say that the tosis were
23:05taller and the hutus were darker and the
23:07tootsies had cattle and the hutus had
23:09agriculture tootsies 10 12% hutus maybe
23:1385% now what's the big deal with
23:16height it's not basketball huh what's
23:19the big deal with skin color
23:22oh well I guess we'd have to ask almost
23:25every country in the world what's the
23:27big deal deal with skin tone and skin
23:30color and you know how we just I I don't
23:34want to get any darker I've been at some
23:36no I got look how pale I am and I've got
23:38to get all of the skin tone stuff but
23:40those are all values we assign to them
23:44I've always said well the cow and the
23:46Agriculture and the cattle you can see a
23:47problem get your cow out of my garden
23:50but aside from that practical part
23:53there's really same language same
23:55Traditions same Foods um and then they
23:59just married each other by the thousands
24:01by the thousands in Rwanda you you just
24:04not uncommon at all we were in the UK
24:07last October talking to schools and I
24:09said hey guys it's just come to me as I
24:11was trying to talk and illustrate this I
24:13said there's so much more difference
24:15between Brits and Americans than there
24:18ever was between hutus and tootsies so
24:21much more difference and while we still
24:23speak sort of the same language um you
24:26can tell but in Rand no you get and so
24:29anyway the belgians really got aligned
24:32tightly with the minority group that
24:33took education um positions in the
24:37church positions in the government all
24:38the favoritism for so many years that
24:40goes on come the late
24:425960 and um and and they they have what
24:46they called a Hu Revolution and and and
24:50understandably the people were um were
24:53saying this is not right you know this
24:55kind of discrimination and so
24:56Independence is coming to the whole
24:57continent too when when everybody's
24:59going to get one man one woman are going
25:01to get a vote this this isn't going to
25:03survive with the minority leading and
25:05power and stuff and so there is there's
25:07a real tragic time there's a lot of
25:08killing that happens in this change of
25:10power here and many of the people with
25:13Tootsie ID cards fled Tootsie ID cards
25:15given the belgians are the ones who said
25:17you know we got to really get this clear
25:18here and who's Tootsie and who's then
25:20the cards and so a lot more a a people
25:24who I think naturally would grow
25:27together and and and live together and
25:29build relationships in harmony that
25:32didn't seem what The belgians Wanted at
25:35that time and so there was this real
25:37working on separating other people
25:43so the planning of the genocide was the
25:47biggest task I think that the planners
25:49of the genocide had was to break the
25:51relationships between the hutus and
25:53tootsies to be able to carry out their
25:55their their part and let's just get to
25:57those plan real quick here um back there
26:005960 many people flee the country
26:03thinking that we'll come back in a week
26:04or two when things settle down a month
26:06or two they're not allowed back for
26:07years 10 20 30 finally 30 years later
26:10they come back with guns they've helped
26:12moven and Uganda get into Power get rid
26:14of ID Amin got their military training
26:17got high positions in the Ugandan
26:20military and then the day comes in
26:22October 1990 when a when a whole big I
26:25don't know platoon or whatever of the
26:27Uganda an army is out on a kind of
26:30maneuver it's a holiday and stuff and
26:32they're told uh boys rip off those
26:36Ugandan military Flags or badges or
26:40whatever they were you are the Rwandan
26:42patriotic front because it happened to
26:44be a almost completely Tootsie platoon
26:47in the Ugandan military and they attack
26:51Rwanda and um thus starts a three-year
26:54War the government of course is fighting
26:56off these are the bad guys with the guns
26:58and you know who else is the bad guy
27:00anybody in town here who's sympathetic
27:02to them anybody who's Tootsie definitely
27:04bad Mary Tootsie definitely bad and so
27:07this whole creation of an enemy
27:10Within you know it's time of war and
27:14fear that people really are fertile
27:18ground for
27:20divisive thinking and talk really really
27:24easy time in a time of War what were we
27:27like here in America just fresh after
27:30911 and 9911 was horrific but 9/11 was
27:34very very small in comparison to what
27:37was happening in
27:38Rwanda what happened in 911 is what
27:41would happen in Rwanda in a morning and
27:45that went on for a 100
27:47days and So within this huge context of
27:51the war before that's what then it's
27:53getting ready now for what's even worse
27:56this this genocide is coming
27:58questions or comments here so the
28:01government is holding them back three
28:03years finally they get a ceasefire
28:05everybody's going to be part of the new
28:07government the the Rwanda patriotic
28:09front who had come in from I kind of
28:12skipped over here in the the first uh
28:14president in in Rwanda and the second
28:16one he was the military guy he ousted
28:19this guy and and real tight connections
28:21with France and um 1990 the Rwanda
28:25patriotic front now comes and we we've
28:28got this war for three years
28:29government's holding them trying to hold
28:31them back creating the Enemy Within and
28:33even doing massacres during those three
28:35years within our country and um and then
28:37a ceasefire broad-based transitional
28:41government to be installed till they
28:43have elections but there's that small
28:45group in the Old Government who says we
28:47will never share power to share power is
28:49worse than defeat and they're the ones
28:51who plan this extermination campaign if
28:53we would have killed all those tootsies
28:55back in 1959 60 we wouldn't be dealing
28:57with them now now they're the enemy
28:59they're the ones with the guns they're
29:01the ones who are sympathetic and so they
29:03plan put it out through propaganda
29:06through the radio through Educators
29:08imagine yourself a teacher and you're
29:09told to start listing in your classroom
29:11who's the Hutu and who's the tootsie
29:13what for do you just go along it's
29:15something that the Ministry of Education
29:17said or do you stand up different points
29:19along the way I'd love the well as you
29:22unpack this to see the individual
29:24stories of people and the choices they
29:26made as this preparation for genocide is
29:29is coming um Sula oh she's such a
29:33sweetie short part of her story here
29:3670-year-old widow she chooses to hide 17
29:40people in a little shelter she had made
29:42for her let's just start one 2 3 4 5 6 7
29:458 9 10 11 12 15 16 so all of you on the
29:49front row here alive because this
29:5270-year-old Widow who was a traditional
29:54healer in reality it meant she had a
29:57tradition tradition uh um a reputation
30:01for being possessed with evil spirits
30:04it's hard to sell me on that one when I
30:06look at her sweet face there but she had
30:08this reputation for being possessed with
30:10evil spirits and she used that
30:12reputation to keep the killers at Bay 17
30:16people alive because of her I love her
30:19story because number one she's a woman
30:21and again women so often undervalued
30:24underappreciated their role in times
30:25like I love it she's old older people
30:28people undervalued underappreciated
30:30always say the the the largest untapped
30:32Alternative Energy Source on our planet
30:35the elderly I love it CU she's hu and a
30:37lot of people want to say well the
30:38hootus were killing the tosis well yes
30:40many hus did Kill many people with
30:42Tootsie cards but there were many hoo
30:44too H many many I just used a couple of
30:46many's and if there were more many's of
30:51Zas the genocide wouldn't have
30:53happened so significant numbers of
30:57people stood up against it and
30:59died but unfortunately even more people
31:03did not thus the the genocide succeeded
31:07um yeah I love it because she's got a
31:10reputation that I don't I wonder why
31:13with that reputation of being possessed
31:15by evil spirits those 17 people came to
31:18her in the first place lots of stories
31:21to learn and unpack from from this time
31:23and another lady who would go looking
31:25for the living among the dead in
31:27incredible that's what that's what a mom
31:30would that's what a grandma would do
31:31isn't it wouldn't wouldn't you that
31:33doesn't surprise you that a grandma
31:35would do that if if if if the smell is
31:38coming out of the house just down the
31:40street and the Flies are buzzing and and
31:42Grandma courageously steps in that house
31:46and Hears A groan or a grunt and and
31:48finds somebody alive and she brings them
31:51home and tries to disinfect their wounds
31:54with whatever training she has bandage
31:56with whatever material she has there's
31:58just all kinds of stories of Courage um
32:02during this
32:03time few pictures here um I was just
32:06there last month that's our pickup truck
32:09full of suitcases this is the gang I was
32:11with Buffalo State
32:13College Drew KH their theater guy
32:16passionate passionate about using
32:19theater to address social justice issues
32:23yeah theater can be entertaining it can
32:24be funny but it better have a point it
32:27better be Comm communicating something
32:30about our world and how we can make it
32:33better if you're involved with his
32:35theater and those are students theater
32:37students from Buff State who got to go
32:40and we had a fabulous time there for two
32:42weeks um they met all kinds of people
32:45particularly a theater group called
32:46mashara here with um Arthur and daa and
32:50Simon and rosette and Angel and hope and
32:54Charles and up in the top corner there
32:57um Annette oh you should hear her with a
33:00microphone as a DJ she just she can she
33:03can bring the house down but they are
33:05they are this thing I'm not really
33:07working using it all right are we we're
33:08doing okay all right um there a theater
33:12group that the buff students just bonded
33:15with almost immediately and I I just
33:17found the theater students so inclusive
33:20there's I I could really go off on the
33:23on the role of theater in terms of
33:26really talking about the courage to
33:28speak the courage to speak when when
33:31other people are not speaking out but we
33:33had a fabulous time and at the end of of
33:36um at the end of the two weeks they got
33:40together with that theater group they
33:41wrote a a totally new play wrote music
33:44for it practiced and performed it the
33:46last night and if you'd like to watch
33:48that play some of you I know we're just
33:50in Rwanda and stuff like that um our
33:52Facebook page is called World outside my
33:54shoes and so you can go on that Facebook
33:57page and you can find the links you can
33:58also go down far enough you'll find the
34:00links of the students blogs I think some
34:01of you might be interested in reading
34:03the blogs of these kids who are just
34:04just in Rwanda oh that was just to show
34:06you that we have malls in Rwanda and if
34:09you forget your treadmill you can get
34:10one in
34:12Rwanda um I don't recommend the
34:15motorcycle taxis they are exciting but I
34:17don't think they're very safe um that's
34:21coming from a guy who went through a
34:22genocide okay uh the
34:25kids I just feel like with kids we can
34:29more easily see
34:30ourself we can more easily connect with
34:34a group of people when we when we look
34:36at the
34:37children of those of those people little
34:40girl probably doesn't own a toothbrush
34:43but on the way to school she'll break
34:44off a twig chew it till it's soft and
34:46use that twig and look at her gorgeous
34:48smile look at her healthy gums you know
34:50or or you don't have a soccer ball
34:52plastic bags and strings you make that
34:55sock or banana leaves and Vines you you
34:57you make that or or you don't have money
34:59to go to the mall to buy toys you make
35:01this awesome homemade scooper scooper
35:04scooter isn't it who came in here with
35:06the longboard where are
35:08you yeah don't don't you wouldn't you
35:11like to take that one for a
35:13ride I mean it's got suspension right
35:16here it's rubber from a tire so the
35:18plank kind of floats up and down the sh
35:19and of course here's the braking system
35:21oosha approved it's um it's just the
35:24whole point with with um the no sac ball
35:27and no toothbrush and no money for a toy
35:31is something you see again and again in
35:33the developing world you are not defined
35:36by what you don't have principle is how
35:40rwandans are moving forward
35:42today not that we'll ever forget or
35:45would never want to forget what we lost
35:47and what was taken from us but if the
35:49majority of our time is spent on what we
35:53lost we're going to be in trouble to
35:55move forward so we focus on what we we
35:58have and and then what we can do with
36:01what we have that's that's probably one
36:05of the best things I could tell you this
36:08evening family as you can see you saw it
36:10in the other picture we were really
36:12young we were there four years the
36:13picture you saw at the airport was the
36:15end of the genocide 1994 this picture is
36:18the fall of
36:201989 at so when we first move there
36:22Shawn isn't even two years old Mindy is
36:24six I think Lis is four three three
36:27years old and uh tries and I actually
36:30met in high school and uh we did
36:32accounting together in college it was
36:35very good it added up and a week after
36:39yeah kind of corny but a week after
36:42graduation we got married and six weeks
36:44later we moved to Zimbabwe she was 22 I
36:47was 23 our daughters were born in
36:49Zimbabwe um after I High School shop
36:52teacher auto mechanics welding Teresa
36:53business and accounting after six years
36:55came back to the States got an MBA and
36:57you know there just weren't so many
36:59really cool International Development
37:01majors and things like that when I was
37:03in college and uh so I put together my
37:06high school shop teacher stuff and my
37:08MBA stuff and and then we went to Rwanda
37:12and um we went to Rwanda to build
37:15schools with a humanitarian group called
37:18Adra the the humanitarian arm of the 7th
37:21Day Adventist Church building schools
37:22operating clinics like I said six months
37:24after we got there a war started which
37:27means that meant that we started working
37:29in um displaced camps we soon by the
37:32time the war was over 7 million people
37:34in Rwanda almost one million of them
37:37chased out of their homes 900,000 people
37:40out of their homes and camps to add to
37:42that in this tiny little country 100
37:44miles by 100 miles so it's I don't know
37:46probably less than half of North
37:47Carolina this little country um we have
37:50not only close to a million people
37:52chased out of their homes by three years
37:53of war Burundi trouble to the South
37:55fighting 350 ,000 people from Burundi in
37:59Rwanda so when the genocide does get
38:02launched explodes or whatever you want
38:04to say we've got 900,000 people in camps
38:08we've got 350,000 in others so we got
38:111.25 million people in camps in this
38:14tiny little country many of those
38:16burundians picked up knives and uh
38:19machetes and and they were predominantly
38:22hutus who had fled violence and Burundi
38:25this whole idea good guy bad guy you
38:27know who's the good guy who's the bad
38:28guy oh is it the hooch's bad guys
38:30tootsies are good guys well it depends
38:32on the timing and the situation and the
38:34place where you find yourself because
38:36within each one of us we can do it we
38:39can do the horrible things and I know we
38:42don't like to admit that but we can also
38:44do the incredible things as well we've
38:47all we all can do it we all can do on
38:50both both and we do it actually all the
38:52time sometimes even in the same day our
38:55home was really comfortable looking out
38:57over over the city there some of you who
38:59saw Hotel Rwanda that's up in the trees
39:02just up below that really tall building
39:04the the the hotel that the film was
39:06based on um we're looking out over the
39:08city my little buddies when I'd come
39:10home from work my Three Musketeers this
39:13is comrade right here comrade's older
39:16brother was really best friends with our
39:18boy Shawn they played together for hours
39:21and you'll meet comrades grandma in just
39:23a minute um somebody asked about our
39:26kids you know and growing up in Africa
39:28it was just a wonderful place to grow up
39:31I know what you know about Rwanda mostly
39:33is probably that 3month horrible window
39:35called genocide but Rwanda is so much
39:38more than that little window and I I
39:40feel guilty again that so much of my
39:42time is spent on that three-month window
39:44but if we don't understand that
39:46three-month window it's very hard to
39:48understand Rwanda today and the Miracles
39:50of Rwanda today um but like I said the
39:54kids kind of stood out in the
39:56neighborhood
39:58but it went for four years they're
39:59playing in the neighborhood for four
40:01years they're playing with the
40:03neighborhood kids and they're making
40:05deposits in the hearts of the women the
40:08grandmas the aunts of the neighborhood
40:10kind of a strange phrase but but when
40:12you're playing with someone else's kids
40:14you know the bonds that are growing
40:15there and and the plane is shot down the
40:18president's plane remember I said they
40:20had gotten everybody together we're
40:22going to have a new broad-based
40:23government it's never launched it's
40:25delayed January February March we're
40:28coming to April the president goes out
40:30of the country trying to get this new at
40:31least that's the story trying to get the
40:33new government launched talking to other
40:35African heads of state and flying back
40:38in sweet little jet a gift from the
40:41president of France little little
40:42executive Jet and um boom surfaced air
40:46missile we we hear the explosion at our
40:49house he's killed the word goes out
40:51immediately on the radio the tootsies
40:53have killed the president here just like
40:55they did in Burundi several months ago
40:57in October the previous year the
40:59military in Bundi had killed the first
41:02democratically elected president in
41:04Bundi and so it wasn't a hard sell with
41:06many people they're like oh yeah those
41:08Rebels those those cockroaches those
41:10snakes and all the names that they
41:11become so familiar with the inani they
41:14are the in yenzi sorry that's the word
41:16that they would use the in yenzi for for
41:18cockroach they they um they're the ones
41:22who killed our president and So within
41:2445 minutes roadblocks are going up and
41:27um the killing is is is getting very
41:30very intense and serious now I say
41:33getting serious and intense now there
41:34had been massacres over the previous
41:36years but now all of a sudden this was a
41:39whole new a whole new realm it depended
41:42what your ID card said whether you lived
41:44or died if it said Tootsie that was it
41:47most of the time you obviously wouldn't
41:48even go on the streets if you didn't
41:50have a Hoo ID card um the radio was
41:53really effective I'm not going to go
41:55through all of the propaganda here well
41:56I will pause
41:58you know um I'm sick doctor what's your
42:01sickness the tootsies the tootsies the
42:03tootsies and I paus there because I
42:05don't know how many times I've said I'm
42:07so sick of and you fill in that blank
42:10what are you sick of what do you do with
42:11what you're sick of you eliminate this
42:13is a sickness this is a poison this is
42:16we're going to solve this problem by
42:18getting rid that's the message we're
42:20going to solve this problem by getting
42:22rid and anytime that's the message
42:24anytime that's the means of solution
42:26problems solving by
42:28exclusion it's going to be temporary at
42:30best and it's it's going to be genocide
42:33at at worst here's the young lady who
42:35lived and worked in our home had been
42:38there for three years the kids loved her
42:40my wife and I loved her very kind and
42:42never complained honestly I mean very
42:45just loyal and and and just a really
42:48nice person but her ID card said she was
42:51the enemy and so because it said toots
42:55my wife and I basically we just
42:57we honestly couldn't think about just
43:00leaving her I mean the government is
43:01saying go the um the little conversation
43:05I had with uh our counsil officer Laura
43:08Lane um she's a a a a wonderful
43:12wonderful person um and but she was
43:16she's in Foreign Service some of you
43:17guys are probably going to Foreign
43:18Service she was barely
43:21um 26 maybe 27 years old and she's
43:26responsible now to get all 257 of the
43:29Americans out of the country that's her
43:31job there's a lot more I'd like to tell
43:33you about her in fact boy Frank you want
43:35I know you're leaving here with somebody
43:36else you want to get an incredible
43:37speaker here invite Laura Lane now she
43:40doesn't work for the state department
43:41anymore she was with City group for a
43:43while she was also time she's been
43:45running with City Group about 200 and
43:47some countries for them Laura is a very
43:49capable woman but back here in when
43:52she's at in Rwanda we're on the radio
43:54talking together on the ham radio it's
43:5610 amm Sunday morning the plane was shot
43:58down Wednesday night Thursday our
44:01neighbors start killing and I'll just go
44:02back to Thursday in a moment but uh
44:05Friday is when the American Embassy says
44:06we're leaving Saturday is going to be
44:08the first convoys out Sunday the last
44:10convoys out 10:00 a.m. minutes before
44:12the tank arrived we actually got a un
44:14tank to come escort teres and the
44:16children my mom and dad were visiting a
44:18tank actually escorted our vehicle to
44:20the ambassador's home but 10 minutes
44:23before the tank arrived I had the
44:25following radio conversation with Laura
44:26laner our us counsel officer uh Carl the
44:31missionaries in the dental compound are
44:32making their way to the ambassador's
44:34home over Laura good copy over Carl I'm
44:38ready to send my family to the
44:39ambassador's home now over Laura what do
44:42you mean send your family over Carl I'm
44:45not leaving over Laura we are all
44:49leaving you don't have a choice over
44:52Carl as a private American citizen I do
44:55have a choice I'm not leaving
44:57over Laura okay well then then you need
45:02to sign a paper stating that you've
45:03refused the help of the United States
45:05government to leave Rwanda over Carl
45:09okay
45:10over I took out one of Mindy's uh School
45:14notebooks and uh ripped the page out of
45:17there and wrote on it I have refused the
45:19help of the United States government to
45:22leave Rwanda and I signed and dated that
45:25declaration and folded it and handed it
45:28to Teresa it's an event that has
45:30engraved itself permanently into my
45:32memory to some it might seem
45:34melodramatic but you have to understand
45:36that up to this point I had this pride
45:38and Trust in America signing dating and
45:42folding this paper did not take long but
45:44it caused me to pause and think deeply
45:47about what that pride and Trust really
45:49meant cutting ties with possible
45:51assistance from the US government was
45:53not something I was taking lightly
45:55looking back I think this was the
45:56beginning of a shift from my trusting in
45:59institutions and governments to trusting
46:01in individuals and and that's what
46:03really became for me throughout the
46:05genocide building relationships with
46:08people um to basically meet the needs of
46:12the orphans that that were around there
46:15now let's see where are we okay I need
46:19to wrap this up here in the next few
46:21minutes and we'll have a Q&A time
46:25um so I'll just um I'll end with this
46:29this was the young man who was the
46:30Watchman he Als at our home he also had
46:33a tootsie ID card so there were two
46:34people in our home who had Tootsie ID
46:36cards the young lady and and the young
46:38man she's married in case I get wrapped
46:40up in other things and don't tell you
46:42she's married today she's got two
46:44beautiful boys I was just in her living
46:46room with the Buffalo State kids they
46:48were pretty excited to meet her Buffalo
46:50State last year asked for the manuscript
46:51for this book and they wrote a play
46:53based on this book and so the students
46:55performed that play last September and
46:57two of the kids who were in the play
46:59were with us at the college I don't know
47:00if you saw shabbar in the van with his
47:02long hair and his dreadlocks and Julio
47:04was another blond girl there so they
47:05were pretty excited to meet um uh Anita
47:09there in her home uh and and she had
47:12fixed baked all kinds of little baked
47:14goodies for us and and drink and things
47:16but um and her husband by the Anita lost
47:20everybody except for her little brother
47:22who was who was going to school in the
47:24Congo at the time of the genocide so he
47:25was saved
47:27when he came back he stepped on a
47:29landmine wasn't killed lost the lower
47:32part of one leg but she says he's
47:34married he has two children and it's
47:36just like her she's focusing on what
47:38he's got and and you know she married a
47:40man who's during the genocide the years
47:43before the genocide his ID card said
47:46Hutu though her whole family had been
47:48murdered by people with hu ID cards she
47:50married a man and when I talked to her
47:53kind of gently about how inspiring her
47:54story was she didn't get it she's like
47:56got what do you mean inspiring and I
47:58kind of said well you know it was
48:01awkward saying Your family killed by who
48:04you married I mean I I didn't expect to
48:06get in I just thought I'd say your story
48:08is inspiring and she go oh well thank
48:09you but she goes what do you mean and so
48:12I finally awkwardly stumble through and
48:14then she goes
48:15oh
48:19huh she says but but we're all the
48:22children of
48:25God well yeah
48:27everybody knows that right or we know it
48:31but we don't really know it huh that's
48:33just another illustration of of how how
48:36still in
48:38Rwanda it's incredible the way people
48:41are overcoming what happened to them to
48:44build to basically build something for
48:48their kids most of them will tell you
48:50it's it's for us and you'll even talk to
48:52guys who were high schoolers at the time
48:54of the genocide and and Joseph is a
48:56helicopter pilot and really sharp he's
48:58the best pilot in the country been
48:59trained all over the world and stuff
49:00like and and he says you know well me
49:03and my my my generation were ruined but
49:06we're not given up because it's for the
49:08Next Generation I mean and what he's
49:11he's 30 years old now and he's talking
49:14about or 34 years old and he's talking
49:15about the Next Generation but but um you
49:18hear it again and again I was with a
49:20group of rwandans at at a memorial time
49:23you know every April and and and one man
49:26stood up just just honestly and he said
49:28I'm sorry I just I can't forgive what
49:32the people did to my family and another
49:35woman in the group stood up and said you
49:36might not be able to for yourself but
49:39we've got to do it for our kids we've
49:42got to do it for our kids and so there's
49:45so many rich
49:48rich wisdom and lessons and things that
49:51we have to learn from the people of
49:52Rwanda like many other people who have
49:55been through hardship sh and have come
49:57out and said yes there is a
50:00tomorrow no we are not going to focus on
50:03what was taken from us no we're not
50:05going to forget either but we're also
50:07going to focus on what we have and and
50:09what what we can do with with what we
50:11have this whole idea of genocide I think
50:13it stems from this this Twisted little
50:16line right here there's no such thing as
50:18my world my world is a fictionary it's a
50:21figment it's a fantasy between my ears
50:24it's it's it's our world and this whole
50:26IDE idea that our world would be better
50:28with you I just love it when when when
50:30we meet people who are different people
50:32who have different cultures and
50:33different languages and accents and
50:36anyway the soldiers claim there were
50:39enough soldiers to have stopped the
50:41genocide but that wasn't their job their
50:43job was to evacuate the foreigners and
50:46I'm skipping this story right here at a
50:48mental hospital where the lady just
50:49begged the television lady you can see
50:52this on YouTube if you want to watch
50:53this documentary it's powerful ghost of
50:56Rwanda as she begs the television lady
50:58when she finds out the soldiers aren't
51:00going to help us and the television lady
51:02she's
51:03like we couldn't do years later she says
51:06we couldn't do she pauses at the moment
51:09she corrects herself we thought we
51:11couldn't do anything tell me she hasn't
51:14been thinking about it for years since
51:15then and and the guy she later says in
51:18her interview it could have been
51:19different and the guy says what do you
51:21mean it could have been different
51:22because you see when she left with the
51:25soldiers all of these people were
51:29murdered well there were a couple of
51:31survivors that almost every time it's
51:32not easy to kill people just so quick
51:34like we often see it Port trade and
51:37there seem to always be one two five
51:39survivors here I've actually met a
51:41Survivor from this from this massacre um
51:45uh in any case the Belgian lady says it
51:48could have been different and the
51:50interviewer says to her what do you mean
51:51how
51:53somebody somebody has to decide it will
51:56be different and nobody
51:59decided that to me is gold right there
52:03that's why I said at the beginning it's
52:05it's people who have not who are not
52:07willing to accept the unacceptable I
52:09know there might seem like no other
52:10alternative and when I chose to stay
52:13that didn't seem smart to many people by
52:15their heads and it wasn't a decision of
52:16the brain it was a decision of the heart
52:19but but the but the neat thing about
52:21this whole thing about about it being a
52:23decision of the heart was that I wasn't
52:25just alone in that decision when you
52:29when you have somebody else who who is
52:32totally with you in the decision she's
52:35not telling me that that you know well
52:38okay or maybe or anything else but when
52:41you when you decide this is not
52:46acceptable
52:47yeah obviously I could have died at that
52:51time and and and
52:56will tell you that she didn't choose to
52:59think about that part of
53:01it she focused on the
53:04kids like moms
53:06do and and she provided a sense of
53:09security and stability for the
53:12kids um let me just flip to the picture
53:15of the kids if you want to tell them do
53:17you want to is this guy still or she'll
53:19talk oh yeah would you just use that for
53:21a minute just tell them a little bit as
53:24as the evacuation is going on most of
53:25the Europeans are flying out but the
53:28Americans are um are driving out uh in a
53:32convoy I had made this camper on the
53:34back of our pickup what was that like
53:36for
53:37you um as we were leaving Kali to start
53:41hitting South to Burundi um there were
53:44lots of roadblocks already in place
53:47probably about every block or every two
53:49blocks and of course our they stopped us
53:52um they wanted to know a lot of things
53:56about is what we had I think you know
53:58they
53:58never talked to me directly because I
54:01was in the back of the camper with the
54:03kids along with Carl's mom who was
54:05visiting us so I really don't know
54:08exactly why they were stopping and
54:10questioning but I do know that um his
54:13father who was driving had the
54:15experience of having these young guys
54:17with grenades in their hands kind of
54:19threatening him with it as as he stopped
54:22and um they did bang a lot on the sides
54:24of the camper they even tried rocking it
54:26a bit they tried the
54:28door um unfortunately we were able to
54:31keep it locked and and they never forced
54:34their way in they never um did anything
54:37further than just kind of those
54:39threatening types of things which we are
54:42very grateful for because our kids never
54:45saw anything um they don't have any
54:49visual memories of what happened what
54:50they'd been through what what we
54:53traveled through my father-in-law did
54:55see uh he remembers a vehicle going by a
54:58big pickup truck with um a lot of dead
55:01bodies in the back of the pickup but I
55:04was just really grateful that our kids
55:07have grown up without those
55:09memories when you look at them um they
55:12don't look like they're running from a
55:13genocide
55:15huh and you ask Lisa there with her legs
55:18crossed were you afraid and she says no
55:20why not cuz Mom wasn't
55:23afraid this whole idea of the role I was
55:26talking about earlier women play if you
55:28haven't seen that little clip on YouTube
55:30watch it it's just worth it the girl
55:32effect some of you have seen that one
55:34it's a great little it's just
55:35introducing a subject it's just a tiny
55:37part of the story but it's a it's it it
55:39can bring about a real shift in our
55:41thinking about the role of women and
55:44it's not just the girl effect the girl
55:46effect becomes the mom effect and the
55:48mom effect becomes I skipped over these
55:50pictures back here our neighborhood some
55:53of the first people who were killed in
55:55this home we watched them walk down the
55:57street taking the things out he was a
55:59banker taking the things out of their
56:01home they had draped her body over the
56:03fence the children they boosted into the
56:05yard of the orphanage and the children
56:07survived in this orphanage but the mom
56:09and dad did not and then they came to
56:12our gate that night Thursday night and
56:14they came there with their machetes and
56:15their clubs but our neighbors notice
56:18little mud brick Tin Roof houses all
56:20around our house this house wasn't there
56:22at the time there were more Tin Tin
56:24roofed homes there and out of those
56:26little mud brick tin roofed homes came
56:29women not ordinary women not normal
56:33women if they were ordinary or normal I
56:35think they would have stayed in their
56:36home taking care of their own kids
56:38that's what it seems to me an ordinary
56:40normal person would do but these are
56:42extraordinary courageous women and they
56:45came out and remember I said our kids
56:47for four years making deposits in the
56:49hearts of the moms in the neighborhood
56:51the grandmas in the neighborhood they're
56:53not coming out with machetes they don't
56:55have weapons well they do they're armed
56:58with
56:59stories isn't that what grandmas are
57:02armed with all the time and the power of
57:05stories to change the way we think that
57:08can somehow their stories did I don't
57:10know how they did it this is comrades
57:12Grandma I introduced you to comrade
57:14earlier she's another one of the ladies
57:16but they told them these people have
57:17been our neighbors in the middle of the
57:19night we can knock on the door and and
57:20they'll they'll uh take us to the
57:22hospital or do whatever and and the most
57:25powerful thing that I always remember is
57:27is they said you can't go in there their
57:29kids play with our kids the
57:32relationships our kids were building I
57:34think were the hugest part that
57:37influenced our neighbors to stand up for
57:39us what would they have done if they
57:41came in our house well at minimum they
57:43would have robbed at at worse I don't
57:46even want to
57:48imagine but they didn't come in because
57:51because our neighbors stood up for us
57:54and so we'll wrap up here if you'd like
57:55to ask some question questions teres and
57:57the kids go to Nairobi every day she
57:59finds someone to watch the kids while
58:01she walks down to the American Embassy
58:04or to another aid office to talk to me
58:06on the radio those radio conversations
58:09were huge for me huge she said it made a
58:12difference for her
58:14too and uh for three weeks I couldn't
58:16get out of my home eventually I went to
58:18this guy's office he was in charge of
58:21the city Colonel renzaho and um I I sort
58:26of became friends with him I said how
58:28can I help remember the pastor I
58:30introduced you to at the beginning he
58:32went with me we met that Colonel we
58:34built a Rel this is a guy who was later
58:36arrested for crimes against for genocide
58:39crimes against humanity he's in prison
58:41serving a life sentence during those
58:43three months of the genocide though he
58:44and I built a type of relationship he
58:47helped me save people's lives he
58:49directed me to several orphanages the
58:51Frenchman Mark with his long hair and
58:53beard he directed me to Mark's house he
58:55directed me to damasa orphanage here in
58:57Yumi Rambo and this was an orphanage
59:00that the first day I came in the gate
59:01there were fresh little Graves to the
59:03left little ones not being killed by
59:05machetes and mortars little ones who
59:07dying from diarrhea and dissenter
59:09desperate for water desperate for
59:11medicine and and these these um
59:14desperate for food so so that defined
59:17then what can I do bring water find food
59:22bring medicine and so for the three
59:24months I worked on
59:26well less a little more than two months
59:28three first three weeks in my house a
59:30little more than two months worked on
59:32relationships with the thieves who had
59:34stolen powdered milk with the thieves
59:36who had and Killers who had stolen fuel
59:39with the top leaders down to the guys at
59:41the level of the
59:42ground just to be able to bring support
59:45to these groups of um
59:49orphans and uh well we've gone the whole
59:53circle if you have some questions
59:56we'd be happy they do have
59:59um are you gonna okay if you want to ask
1:00:02her questions you can ask her but um
1:00:06they do have a couple of microphones
1:00:07that makes it easier if you do have a
1:00:09question yep got to take off totally
1:00:12understand thanks for coming appreciate
1:00:14it and um and we won't be long but if
1:00:18you do and if you'd like to take a book
1:00:20with you this
1:00:21evening um we asked for $10 donation but
1:00:25if you've got a that's fine it's really
1:00:27a donation it's not like a price if I
1:00:29told people to if you got $300
1:00:32whatever but um but and if you'd like to
1:00:35make a donation later there's a um
1:00:38PayPal button on our website so you
1:00:40could just make a little $10 donation or
1:00:42something later but if you'd like please
1:00:44do take a book with you if you'd like to
1:00:46um to read it but if you have a couple
1:00:49questions somebody want to break the ice
1:00:51or yeah please if you don't mind coming
1:00:53to the microphone that'll be really
1:00:56really really helpful you talk a
1:00:59little on the table go go ahead could
1:01:04you talk a little bit about like how the
1:01:06healing process occurred I know you talk
1:01:08about like the love of all people but
1:01:10like is there any leadership or
1:01:12organization that took charge yeah thank
1:01:14you that's really I'd love to spent our
1:01:16whole hour on that part of the
1:01:18rebuilding and the amazing part with the
1:01:20healing and stuff like that I'm going to
1:01:22be very pragmatic initially there were
1:01:24yes religious groups and nonprofit and
1:01:28government initiatives to promote
1:01:31reconciliation people would often say
1:01:33reconciliation that kind of sounds like
1:01:34two people who've done what about when
1:01:36one person has done nothing but been
1:01:38killed we still call that reconcil well
1:01:41in any case yes so terminology is an
1:01:44issue and stuff but but Rwanda really
1:01:47has like many other countries in
1:01:49developing in the developing World value
1:01:53Community talking get Chacha process was
1:01:57part of that that was the legal system
1:01:59the legal plan they put in place to try
1:02:02to try when you had hundreds of
1:02:05thousands of people to try they didn't
1:02:07have enough lawyers and judges and
1:02:08everything else to do that gacha gave
1:02:11people permission to talk about the
1:02:14genocide and so and when people would
1:02:17confess prisoners would come and stand
1:02:19before the community That's gacha
1:02:21Thursday afternoon businesses are shut
1:02:23down everything in town is shut down
1:02:25you're expected to come to the football
1:02:26field the soccer field and we're going
1:02:28to have gacha and they're going to bring
1:02:29people out of prison and they're going
1:02:31to confess and if their confession meets
1:02:34up with the survivors and others REM
1:02:36memories of it then sometimes they'll be
1:02:38released earlier and it was just part of
1:02:39the process but confession was huge also
1:02:43people said gacha helped me to find out
1:02:45where my family was buried I never knew
1:02:48and that was huge for me that kind of
1:02:50closure and and those things so gacha
1:02:53had a role but then just plain flat out
1:02:56I can't um it's hard to find work I got
1:02:59to get my kids in school I got to get a
1:03:01school uniform I don't want to work with
1:03:03this woman her husband was involved with
1:03:04killing or she was involved with killing
1:03:06but you know what I need the job I don't
1:03:08want to live in this neighborhood
1:03:09anymore I don't want to live by that
1:03:11church I don't want to live by that
1:03:12school where those things I don't have
1:03:13any place else to live so the necessity
1:03:16of having to live forced people almost
1:03:20and that
1:03:22Force sometimes yeah it would work other
1:03:24times it wouldn't depression people
1:03:27wanting to take their even today kids
1:03:30they hardly knew what was happening at
1:03:32the time but they've grown up and so
1:03:33those are big issues they're rest
1:03:35wrestling with but the most
1:03:37Effectiveness effective forms have been
1:03:40not from out external intervention it
1:03:42has been rwandans themselves talking to
1:03:45others and saying look like I said
1:03:48earlier for our children if for no other
1:03:51reason we can't this is a poison of
1:03:54hatred and bitterness this will kill us
1:03:57and so people talking among you'll hear
1:03:59about faith being huge and that's and
1:04:01that's a really interesting double-edged
1:04:03sword because people often
1:04:05understandably say how can you believe
1:04:07in God where was God at a time like this
1:04:09and other people will say God works
1:04:11through people the question isn't where
1:04:14was God the question is where were the
1:04:15people who claim the name of God there's
1:04:17great great betrayal that people are
1:04:20trying to process through of churches
1:04:22and religion great betrayal of
1:04:24government how can you trust your
1:04:26government when the government was
1:04:27ordering the massacres now we've got a
1:04:30new government and you're just a new
1:04:31face and we're supposed to trust you so
1:04:34the government of Rwanda has worked very
1:04:36hard they had they have an otsman who
1:04:38has who has worked on rebuilding The
1:04:41credibility between the people and the
1:04:43government and the accountability that
1:04:45the government is bringing in the
1:04:46transparency has been large in this
1:04:48healing
1:04:49process um I asked a Survivor I was with
1:04:52a group of teachers last summer asked a
1:04:55survivor who's now a
1:04:57judge is there any remorse that's what
1:05:00some of the teachers wanted to know is
1:05:02there any remorse Among The Killers and
1:05:04the judge says you know that's a very
1:05:07hard question to respond to in general
1:05:10terms because everybody is different but
1:05:13he's a really nice guy and he says if I
1:05:15was to
1:05:17generalize among the older people less
1:05:20much less remorse among the younger
1:05:23people feeling like they were tricked in
1:05:25deceived into this killing more remorse
1:05:29and so it's it's a whole big process and
1:05:33and to say I don't want to put down
1:05:34external intervention um World Vision I
1:05:37understand I just was learning about it
1:05:39when I was there last month has had some
1:05:41really um they say impressive programs
1:05:44in terms of bringing healing there too
1:05:46so it it has been a partnership effort
1:05:49but I would say by and large it's the
1:05:51day-to-day necessity of having to live
1:05:52again look my husband's in prison to
1:05:56keep him alive I'm trying to bring some
1:05:57decent food to him will you watch my
1:05:59baby while I'm gone my little child your
1:06:02husband's in prison my husband is dead
1:06:05you want me to watch your
1:06:07baby well what did your baby do nothing
1:06:11okay I'll watch your baby the necessity
1:06:14of living together and having to live
1:06:17through life together is I think been
1:06:18one of the biggest blessings in bringing
1:06:21healing
1:06:23together yeah thanks for that question
1:06:25question yes with having to and living
1:06:29in your house was there ever any sort of
1:06:30like underlying tension or overt tension
1:06:32Ah that's a great question thank you for
1:06:34asking that because there's another
1:06:36picture um uh that shows them sitting
1:06:39around the table all of all five of us
1:06:41around a table in our house and um
1:06:44absolutely not they are the young lady
1:06:48who I showed you when we went to the
1:06:51pastor and his wife's house with the
1:06:52students from Buffalo State she was
1:06:54there helping prepare the meal this lady
1:06:58who was in our house I would say has
1:07:00probably become her mother she lost her
1:07:03mother in the genocide and the the two
1:07:05of those women you know where they slept
1:07:07every night they went in the pantry it
1:07:09was a pretty big walk-in Pantry but they
1:07:11drug a mattress in there and these two
1:07:13women slept in that pantry every night
1:07:16with their head under the bottom shelf
1:07:18because they had the most cement walls
1:07:20between them and the outside and
1:07:22sometimes when I would walk past the the
1:07:24kitchen with a little little window in
1:07:26it in the pantry over there in the
1:07:27evening they had turned in early I would
1:07:29hear giggling coming from the
1:07:31pantry and so the bonds that were formed
1:07:34between these people um especially the
1:07:37young lady and the couple there uh till
1:07:40this day is uh you probably can't get
1:07:42closer bonds and and I I I really want
1:07:45people to understand the hu Tootsie
1:07:47thing is is not a thing I guess it's
1:07:50it's a very complex but often in many
1:07:53ways it's not a major defining fact
1:07:55factor in people's lives there's other
1:07:58things that they see much deeper than
1:08:00that they see people who stood up
1:08:02against the killing they see people who
1:08:04stood next to them they they they see
1:08:06people who suffered loss too and so um
1:08:10there's deep insights there's a real
1:08:11reading of hearts that happens in in in
1:08:15not only developing all around the world
1:08:17but in in countries that have gone
1:08:19through great hardship there's a real it
1:08:21seems to be ability to read and and to
1:08:25and to be
1:08:28gracious that is that is astounding it's
1:08:31miraculous to have Grace after something
1:08:34like
1:08:36that thanks for that question and I
1:08:38won't okay um that one of the oran um it
1:08:42was your job essentially to go out and
1:08:44find medication andan water um I know
1:08:47it's really difficult to come across
1:08:49those resources especially in Afric
1:08:52especially kind of
1:08:54genocide come across that how did you
1:08:57end up providing for that thank you
1:09:00you're really beginning to appreciate
1:09:02the challenges at that time she's saying
1:09:04you know trying to find food and water
1:09:06in normal times can be tough how are you
1:09:08doing it during the times of this um
1:09:11water there was a water point that that
1:09:14if you waited at the line you could get
1:09:15water so it wasn't hard to get there the
1:09:17biggest challenge wasn't the water it
1:09:20was containers to carry the water and a
1:09:22vehicle to carry the containers I got
1:09:24the vehicle from the colonel who was in
1:09:26charge of the city my relationship with
1:09:28him actually the first vehicle he lent
1:09:30me was used halime by me and halime by
1:09:32The Killers so you can imagine part of
1:09:34the day I'm using it to help the orphans
1:09:36the other part of the day they're
1:09:37perhaps hauling bodies with it but that
1:09:40I said man I give me another truck and
1:09:42he helped me and I got another truck and
1:09:44then barrels and there's a kind of fun
1:09:47chapter of the kids who helped me even
1:09:49under sniper fire wash these barrels and
1:09:52prepare them so basically you just and
1:09:56then the Red Cross was right there they
1:09:58they tried to go out and help people but
1:10:00their people were being killed at at
1:10:03just inconceivable numbers the Red Cross
1:10:06meant nothing so they made the difficult
1:10:08decision to say no we can't send our
1:10:09people out to be killed anym if you can
1:10:11get to this school where we have a field
1:10:13Hospital we'll treat you so they gave me
1:10:17all the medicine I needed and I would
1:10:19then take that through these roadblocks
1:10:21I was going through roadblocks that even
1:10:22the UN couldn't go through because
1:10:24because they wouldn't let you Vehicles
1:10:25there but I think my relationship with
1:10:27the colonel is what opened the door
1:10:29there and then I'd asked the women at
1:10:31the market who had little stacks of
1:10:33powdered milk little saxs I'd say ma'am
1:10:35I need like a hundred times that and
1:10:37they would then say come back in an hour
1:10:40and I'd come back in an hour and they
1:10:41would hook me up with um usually a
1:10:43soldier and a civilian who had stolen
1:10:45from a store so there was food available
1:10:48and there was medicine and water
1:10:50available the trick was the channel to
1:10:53get to it and then to be able to get to
1:10:55the for example when I bought all that
1:10:57powdered milk from the thieves if I took
1:10:59it all to the orphanage they would Rob
1:11:00the orphanage so I'm like and if I take
1:11:03it home they'll rob me at home where did
1:11:04I take all of those 13 cases of powdered
1:11:07milk to the Colonel's office I said I
1:11:10need storage spacer he gave me a room to
1:11:13store my stuff in his room I'd take it a
1:11:14box at a time from there so basically
1:11:19you just look for it you build the
1:11:21relationships there were three guys kind
1:11:23of gang leaders in the center of the
1:11:25downtown Rasam man jaguar and I forget
1:11:28the third guy's name I would trade money
1:11:31with them give them dollars they would
1:11:32give me local currency and that kind of
1:11:35again was a relationship building
1:11:38experience and so it was through
1:11:39building relationships with people that
1:11:42I managed to but it all took such a long
1:11:44time and it was never enough sometimes
1:11:46the kids would be there um they would
1:11:49come and line up at the reservoir when I
1:11:51got there with my truck with her little
1:11:52metal cup and that would be one cup of
1:11:54water they would would have sometimes
1:11:56one cup of water for two days and and so
1:11:59it was it was never enough yes
1:12:05um
1:12:10yeah really good question why would the
1:12:12colonel a guy eventually convicted of
1:12:14genocide enough evidence for thousands
1:12:17of lives on his hands why would he help
1:12:20me um the planners and executioners of
1:12:24the genocide throughout the genocide
1:12:27tried to the world to present a face of
1:12:32legitimacy this whole thing of genocide
1:12:34was couched in terms like work we're
1:12:37securing the nation there's the enemy
1:12:40we're guarding against the enemy now yes
1:12:43people said wow I got the machete above
1:12:45a mother and child and I'm like how is
1:12:48this the enemy but but the terms they're
1:12:51using is they're trying to present
1:12:53themselves as legitimate so I would
1:12:55appeal to that legitimacy that they try
1:12:58I spoke to him with respect I knew that
1:13:00he was in charge and I said sir how can
1:13:03I help in humanitarian needs and stuff
1:13:07like that um I think there's a lot to be
1:13:11unpacked in just the power of asking
1:13:15there's something I I think inside all
1:13:17of us that wants to respond to help in
1:13:21situations even in a situation like this
1:13:23our brain would tell us
1:13:25no this is the killer I mean besides him
1:13:28I actually one day asked the bogus prime
1:13:30minister one of three guys in charge of
1:13:32the genocide to call off a massacre and
1:13:34he did it which is even more
1:13:36unexplainable to me
1:13:38although when you when you unpack the
1:13:41story more you do see there's other
1:13:43factors that I didn't see and I think he
1:13:45really wanted to use the orphans for
1:13:47bait to get the French to come in there
1:13:49but but in any case
1:13:51um I think people will do things when we
1:13:54ask that they would not do without being
1:13:57asked that simple that simple other
1:14:00people told me that he had been he was
1:14:03married to a tootsie I don't know that
1:14:06but that was their effort at trying to
1:14:08understand why he helped me there were
1:14:11people who hid people in their home at
1:14:14the risk of the of the family members of
1:14:16their home's lives because if you're
1:14:18caught often hiding you'll be killed
1:14:20your family will be killed not always
1:14:22but most of the time and then they would
1:14:24go out and kill in the
1:14:27neighborhood so this person has saved
1:14:29somebody's life and they've killed
1:14:31that's why gacha was such a dynamic
1:14:33event those trials because you know
1:14:36somebody would stand up and say he's not
1:14:38telling the whole story and he did this
1:14:40and this and this and the and the
1:14:41Prisoner in his pink uniform would say
1:14:43okay so you really want to hear the
1:14:44whole story he'd point at one of the
1:14:46seven judges just ordinary people from
1:14:48the community who had been chosen and
1:14:50trained to be these judges and he'd say'
1:14:52well yeah we did that too but that guy
1:14:53was with us' and all of a sudden the
1:14:55person one day is on this side of the
1:14:57desk the next day is in prison and I
1:14:59mean it was a very Dynamic thing because
1:15:02because people
1:15:05are able to do horrible things and
1:15:08fabulous things um even in the same
1:15:13day yes
1:15:31she asked in this journey from thinking
1:15:33of my world to our world and these
1:15:35things are so far away how can we really
1:15:37tie them together and and that's I love
1:15:40it because there's two things that I
1:15:42think are super powerful to accomplish
1:15:44just that there's stories and service
1:15:47stories from people right here on your
1:15:49campus stories from people in your
1:15:51community who are from all over the
1:15:53world we are sh the kids who were with
1:15:55me in Buffalo when they got back um I
1:15:58mean in Rwanda from Buffalo when they
1:16:00got home I saw a posting on Facebook one
1:16:02girl she says the guy down at the Corner
1:16:04Deli is from somewhere in the Middle
1:16:05East I never knew that we got to talk
1:16:07and I guess there goes quick stops at
1:16:09the deli from now on you know but she
1:16:11all of a sudden because she'd been there
1:16:13she started looking more and finding out
1:16:16everybody of course has a story we know
1:16:18that in our head but do we start living
1:16:21in a world where I want to hear your
1:16:23story and that takes time but I want to
1:16:27hear your story but then hearing a story
1:16:30and doing something well if you don't do
1:16:33anything the story can actually make you
1:16:35worse because oh yeah I heard about that
1:16:37yeah I heard about oh yeah yeah 900,000
1:16:40800,000 people yeah I heard about that
1:16:42but when we act those actions really
1:16:47inform even more the stories and the
1:16:49stories inform the actions and the
1:16:51service so that's why the service might
1:16:53be simple the service might be picking
1:16:57up the paper towel in the bathroom on
1:16:59the floor we're practicing doing
1:17:02something for somebody else something
1:17:04that maybe inconvenience us a a bit the
1:17:08service may be of course involved with
1:17:10connecting last time I was here at Elon
1:17:12I was in a classroom um those new
1:17:14buildings right across the street from
1:17:16the TRU Center those classrooms there
1:17:18and we called Washington DC on the
1:17:20number 1-800 genocide do any of remember
1:17:22from the last lecture I told you I was
1:17:24gonna do that on my way up to DC I was
1:17:26going anyway um you know who answered
1:17:29the phone we punch 1800 genocide put in
1:17:32your ZIP code so they know where they
1:17:34can hook you up with your representative
1:17:36your Senator it was a kid who had
1:17:38graduated from Elon like get out of here
1:17:42and then and then we well wait let me
1:17:44put you through to somebody else here in
1:17:45the office they graduated from Elon and
1:17:48and and what were they finding out they
1:17:50were finding out that people in
1:17:53Washington DC on unlike a lot of the
1:17:56stories that go around a bunch of
1:17:58egotistical people only trying to serve
1:18:00their own interest there are actually
1:18:03people in Washington DC who care there's
1:18:05people in Washington DC who are
1:18:07passionate about making a better Planet
1:18:10they're often under 30 or at least under
1:18:1240 but but um and as you build
1:18:15relationships with those people you ask
1:18:16for the Legislative Assistant in your
1:18:18Senator's office the Legislative
1:18:20Assistant your representative's office
1:18:22you're you're taking action to con con
1:18:25up with the stories and you'll often
1:18:26find people who are passionate like you
1:18:28about changing the world that's why
1:18:30they're there and it's not often the
1:18:31senator and the representative who
1:18:33really make the difference anyway it's
1:18:35the people who are bringing stuff to
1:18:37their desk and putting it in front of
1:18:39them the people who are helping to
1:18:40really shaped and change policy So
1:18:43Stories and service are to me the tools
1:18:47whether whether we're dealing with
1:18:49foreign policy issues or whether we're
1:18:51do dealing with uh dysfunction within
1:18:53the dormatory or within the home stories
1:18:56and service stories have a way of
1:18:58affecting our thinking that affects our
1:19:00feeling that affects our actions and
1:19:04so thank you for that and thank you all
1:19:07very much for for coming out this
1:19:10evening

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