Can You Write Yourself Into a Better Life? — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00Believe it or not, the answers you're
2. 0:01probably looking for in this video,
3. 0:03well, you probably already have them.
4. 0:05But let me show you how to get to them.
5. 0:07Hello, welcome back. If you're new here,
6. 0:09my name is Leah. So, one of my recent
7. 0:11videos got a lot of love, way more than
8. 0:13I was expecting, and I'm so glad it
9. 0:15resonated with so many of you. Going
10. 0:17through these comments has been honestly
11. 0:19really a big highlight of the last
12. 0:21couple of weeks, and one of the things I
13. 0:23wanted to kind of cover in this video
14. 0:25relates back to that one. So, for those
15. 0:27of you who haven't seen it, I basically
16. 0:30talked about my journey with The
17. 0:31Artist's Way. In this journey, you're
18. 0:33supposed to write morning pages every
19. 0:35day, and instead of ending it at the 12
20. 0:37weeks, I ended up continuing it through
21. 0:39the last year, and it's really shaped
22. 0:42and transformed my life in ways that I
23. 0:43couldn't even imagine. It's helped me
24. 0:45solve a lot of big life questions. It's
25. 0:48helped me through a lot of different
26. 0:49things in this year in transitioning
27. 0:52from a part-time to a full-time artist.
28. 0:54And so, if you're interested in learning
29. 0:55about that, you guys can check out the
30. 0:57link below. The main takeaway for me is
31. 0:59that, sure, anyone can start a
32. 1:01journaling practice, but it doesn't
33. 1:02necessarily mean it's going to change
34. 1:04your life. So, how can we change our
35. 1:06life with the medium of writing? How can
36. 1:09you ask better questions and reframe the
37. 1:11way that you write your journal entries
38. 1:13to make them really life-changing? So,
39. 1:15if you're someone who sits there with a
40. 1:17blank page and you're like, I have no
41. 1:19idea what to write about, this is
42. 1:20horrible, don't worry. It does get
43. 1:23easier, and I do have a solution to
44. 1:25that. And I'll be honest with you, for
45. 1:27the people that decided to start writing
46. 1:28at that point, is that the first couple
47. 1:31weeks, months, even, were grueling for
48. 1:34me. My hand would hurt, I would be
49. 1:37bored, I wasn't really sure what to
50. 1:38write, and so it just ended up being
51. 1:40like something that I was like, okay,
52. 1:42well, she says to write every day, so
53. 1:44I'm going to write. Um, it felt like a
54. 1:46chore versus what it does now, where it
55. 1:48feels like something that I can't live
56. 1:50without. And so, in that video, I really
57. 1:52talked about the process of where it
58. 1:53started, but this one I want to take you
59. 1:56past where The Artist's Way ends. I did
60. 1:59record the entire process. It is on my
61. 2:01YouTube if you're interested in checking
62. 2:02out those videos, too. There's 12 of
63. 2:04them for each week that I did it.
64. 2:06But yeah, in those early days, honestly,
65. 2:09the writing felt a lot more like a
66. 2:10prescription than anything. It felt like
67. 2:13something I was told to do versus what I
68. 2:15wanted to do. It started as a place to
69. 2:17really like empty my thoughts. A lot of
70. 2:19it felt like gibberish. I'm not even
71. 2:21sure what it looks like. I even remember
72. 2:23weeks where I was making the spacing
73. 2:25between words longer so that I would
74. 2:27fill the pages, which I remember doing
75. 2:29in school as well. I simply could not
76. 2:31get that dialogue started with myself.
77. 2:34Yeah, so those people that are just
78. 2:35starting journaling, I hear you. I feel
79. 2:38you. I've been there. I think for those
80. 2:40of you that are feeling that way, it's
81. 2:42important to view this like going to the
82. 2:44gym, running, trying something new
83. 2:46that's athletic after we haven't done
84. 2:48anything athletic in a long time. And
85. 2:50then something beautiful shifted within
86. 2:52me. I stopped just kind of like emptying
87. 2:54my thoughts on the page, but instead I
88. 2:57learned how to follow them. So if you're
89. 2:59sitting down and thinking every day is
90. 3:01going to be profound thoughts,
91. 3:02interesting, that's definitely not the
92. 3:04case and it's still not the case for me
93. 3:06right now. But I also don't want it to
94. 3:08be as boring as like I ate toast for
95. 3:11breakfast, you know? There's somewhere
96. 3:12right in between that we can work with.
97. 3:15But so in the book The Artist's Way, she
98. 3:16does encourage this. She just wants it
99. 3:18to basically be like all the blabber in
100. 3:21your head. It needs to get out on the
101. 3:22pages and I do think that there is some
102. 3:24of that for sure that needs to get out.
103. 3:27But a big part of it, for me at least,
104. 3:29feels like I'm summarizing my life,
105. 3:31whatever's happened in the last day,
106. 3:33interesting thoughts that I may be had
107. 3:35that I didn't really have time to really
108. 3:37give the time of day. That's where I'm
109. 3:39exploring that in these pages. And so
110. 3:41this is where my journaling methods
111. 3:43moves beyond The Artist's Way. So it's
112. 3:45not really about dumping your thoughts
113. 3:47and then moving on with your day, but
114. 3:49more so summarizing the most interesting
115. 3:51parts of your life. When we look at
116. 3:53note-taking in classes, right? I wanted
117. 3:56to do a bunch of research on this and I
118. 3:57I read a lot of articles. It was very
119. 3:59interesting to read about why writing
120. 4:01things works so much better than typing
121. 4:04things for memorization. Sure, you see
122. 4:06the kids that show up to class for
123. 4:07lectures that are typing vigorously on
124. 4:09the keyboard, for example, and sure
125. 4:11they're capturing more, but it said in
126. 4:13studies over and over again that the
127. 4:15pen-on-paper method is going to make you
128. 4:18remember way more. So, what I've
129. 4:19gathered through a bunch of scientific
130. 4:21research studies is that when we're
131. 4:24writing, we're actually writing like A,
132. 4:26B, C, for example, while we're listening
133. 4:29and there is no possible way of us
134. 4:31really capturing every single thing that
135. 4:34the teacher says. But with typing, we
136. 4:36finally have the ability to move faster.
137. 4:38But the difference really came down to
138. 4:41is that when we're writing A with our
139. 4:43hand, we have to make that physical
140. 4:45connection to the paper versus when
141. 4:47we're typing, we're typing like A is the
142. 4:50exact same as typing B, for example. And
143. 4:53so, our brain doesn't have like a neural
144. 4:55pathway to really store it in the same
145. 4:57way, which I found to be super
146. 4:59fascinating and I hope you guys do, too.
147. 5:01They also mentioned that this idea of
148. 5:03not being able to capture all of it by
149. 5:05summarizing it is actually way better
150. 5:07for our brains in terms of memorization.
151. 5:09They even leech this into either
152. 5:11interpreting it in physical dance moves,
153. 5:14for example, flash cards, drawing, etc.
154. 5:17Just having some sort of visual
155. 5:18representation while we're going through
156. 5:20it and to me that makes perfect sense.
157. 5:22Especially for those of us that are
158. 5:23visual learners like myself. And so,
159. 5:25that kind of made sense to me. I'm not
160. 5:27necessarily just copying what happened,
161. 5:29right? We're not like, "And then this
162. 5:31happened and then this happened and then
163. 5:32this happened." I'm more so taking the
164. 5:35very important parts of the day, writing
165. 5:37them down, making notes on that, and
166. 5:39then looking at them in a more deeper
167. 5:41light. And there's something even deeper
168. 5:43than that that we need to start
169. 5:45listening to. And that's what I'm going
170. 5:46to call whispers. It's this idea that
171. 5:49often we're running a mile a minute,
172. 5:51we're trying to get everything done in
173. 5:52our day, but there's these tiny little
174. 5:54whispers in our own voice potentially or
175. 5:57a different voice, but it has a
176. 5:58particular voice usually
177. 6:00that we need to listen to a lot more
178. 6:02often. And so when you're going about
179. 6:04your day, if you're like doing the
180. 6:06dishes and you're like, "Oh, I'd really
181. 6:08like to paint tonight." And then you're
182. 6:09like, "Oh no, no, we don't need to do
183. 6:11that." That's when we're not really
184. 6:13listening to like our heart and our
185. 6:15heartstrings of what we really need to
186. 6:16be doing with our time.
187. 6:18These gentle cues of things that we want
188. 6:20to do and want to pursue, they're not
189. 6:23quite that loud. They're very quiet in
190. 6:25the background and often we overlook
191. 6:27them.
192. 6:28And although those aren't questions all
193. 6:30the time, those are the things that we
194. 6:32need to bring to our morning pages.
195. 6:34Maybe you catch yourself asking, "Why
196. 6:36are we even doing this right now?" Maybe
197. 6:39there's something that you watched and
198. 6:40you felt jealous of and your brain is
199. 6:42like, "Why did we feel jealousy?"
200. 6:45Often when we have these emotional
201. 6:46responses in our minds, we instantly go
202. 6:48like, "Oh, it's not a big deal." and
203. 6:50wipe it off. But if you actually take
204. 6:52those, write them down on paper, and
205. 6:54then flush them out, you're going to
206. 6:56learn a lot about yourself very quickly.
207. 6:59Usually things like jealousy,
208. 7:01frustrations,
209. 7:03they're all trying to tell us something,
210. 7:05but we often like because they're not a
211. 7:07big enough deal, don't give them the
212. 7:08time of day. For positive things, the
213. 7:10same thing is true where we do something
214. 7:12and we're like, "Wow, that felt really
215. 7:14good. We should do this more often."
216. 7:16Instead of actually doing that, a lot of
217. 7:18the time we think about it and we have
218. 7:20high hopes to do it, but we don't
219. 7:21actually get there. So then writing
220. 7:23about that, like why did it feel good?
221. 7:25Where could we potentially do this more
222. 7:27often? Um leads us to then later in our
223. 7:30day potentially taking actions towards
224. 7:32those things. And I will say a lot of
225. 7:34the time those voices, those whispers,
226. 7:36whatever you'd like to call them, are
227. 7:38not exactly in questions, but it could
228. 7:40just feel like you're looking at
229. 7:42something and you're like, "Oh, that
230. 7:43gets me really excited." And I beg you
231. 7:46to ask yourself, "Why?" Toddlers
232. 7:49constantly ask, "Why?" If you're ever in
233. 7:51a grocery store and you're overhearing a
234. 7:53conversation with a toddler and their
235. 7:55parents, they will ask you, "Why?" until
236. 7:58they fall asleep, basically. "Why is
237. 8:00that yellow?" Uh, "Because the tree made
238. 8:03it yellow." "But, why?"
239. 8:05Uh, "Because maybe the pigment that it
240. 8:07spilled of happened." "Why?"
241. 8:10Uh, "Because everything's made of
242. 8:11cells." You know, those types of things.
243. 8:14Such a random example. I don't know why
244. 8:16that came out, but
245. 8:17what if you just asked yourself, "Why?"
246. 8:20And then what if you asked yourself,
247. 8:22"Why?" again?
248. 8:24And then maybe even again. Somewhere
249. 8:26along the way, unfortunately for us, a
250. 8:28lot of us have stopped asking questions
251. 8:30and just taken what's in front of us as
252. 8:33the status quo. Probably due to
253. 8:35standardized testing, I believe at
254. 8:37least. They teach you that there's only
255. 8:38one answer most of the time versus
256. 8:40having to really dive deep and realize
257. 8:42that there is no answer to every
258. 8:44question. And I wonder if journaling can
259. 8:46be a space for everyone to become a
260. 8:49place where we can be curious not about
261. 8:51the world necessarily, but ourselves. I
262. 8:54want to be clear that this is not about
263. 8:56judging yourself or critiquing yourself
264. 8:58in any way or fixing yourself, but more
265. 9:01about understanding yourself in general.
266. 9:04So, Simon Sinek is pretty famous for the
267. 9:06idea of the power of why. And so, I
268. 9:09definitely want to credit him for that.
269. 9:11And if you're interested in learning
270. 9:12more about that, you can watch his
271. 9:14videos about it. It's quite powerful.
272. 9:17But, what I've realized is it's not just
273. 9:18about saying, "Why?" Sure, why gets us
274. 9:20on the right path, but the real truth to
275. 9:23it is being curious and a good active
276. 9:26listener to ourselves. And if you
277. 9:28remember, I started this video by saying
278. 9:30I couldn't get the dialogue started, and
279. 9:32that's what we're tying in here is this
280. 9:35idea that you're actually going to be
281. 9:37interviewing yourself in all of these
282. 9:38journal entries. Not anyone else, just
283. 9:41you and yourself, which sounds kind of
284. 9:44funny, but it'll be one part of you who
285. 9:46is the racing thoughts, the one that
286. 9:48can't keep up with themselves, has lots
287. 9:50of anxieties perhaps, a lot of things
288. 9:52going on in their minds. And then we're
289. 9:54going to have the other one, which is
290. 9:56your wise Yoda self, where it will feel
291. 9:59like you're kind of understanding and
292. 10:01trying to dive deep into these ideas and
293. 10:04summarize what's going through them. So,
294. 10:06what you're going to be building with
295. 10:07yourself is this internal dialogue where
296. 10:10you're able to kind of filter through
297. 10:12it, summarize it, and also look at it
298. 10:15from a lens of curiosity.
299. 10:17We're going to take these small
300. 10:18statements perhaps, ask why, and then
301. 10:21get really curious about them. So, let's
302. 10:23give an example of one I know I'm going
303. 10:25to go through. This weekend I did a
304. 10:28paper workshop and it was so fun and I
305. 10:30felt so exhilarated.
306. 10:32Why did you feel exhilarated through
307. 10:34that? Because work's been busy, I
308. 10:36haven't been able to get out much, so it
309. 10:37was really cool to be around people, and
310. 10:39I feel like because I've been working a
311. 10:40lot I haven't had a lot of fun. So,
312. 10:42those three things came up in my journal
313. 10:44entry. So, this level of excitement
314. 10:46wasn't about the idea that this paper
315. 10:48arts idea isn't going to be the next big
316. 10:50thing in my practice that I'm very
317. 10:52excited about, but rather I'm lacking
318. 10:54some of my basic needs that I need to
319. 10:56fulfill. So, how could we fix something
320. 10:58like this is what I would ask myself
321. 10:59next. Well, one of them is saying I feel
322. 11:02isolated. Could I not give someone a
323. 11:04call while I'm cleaning the dishes or
324. 11:05something that day? I've been working so
325. 11:07much that I haven't had time to play in
326. 11:09other ways. When I look at this week I
327. 11:11haven't had any time in the back studio,
328. 11:12so yeah, I am feeling like I needed some
329. 11:14fun. And so, moving forward next week I
330. 11:17can definitely pay attention to these
331. 11:19things. We can also pay attention where
332. 11:21we're making affirmation statements to
333. 11:22ourselves.
334. 11:24Something as simple as I love the color
335. 11:26green.
336. 11:27Well, why do you love the color green? I
337. 11:29know it sounds a funny, but there's a
338. 11:31lot to it in what we're picking in that
339. 11:33sense.
340. 11:34Maybe it's because we love being
341. 11:35outdoors and we haven't been able to get
342. 11:37outdoors, for example. If you watch a
343. 11:39video about someone's lifestyle and
344. 11:40you're like, "Oh, that is so not for
345. 11:42me." dissect it. Take that to the book
346. 11:44and see what comes up. Is it that you
347. 11:46actually don't want to do it, or is it
348. 11:48because you're fearful to do something
349. 11:50similar? And so, obviously, these don't
350. 11:51need to be such simple things in your
351. 11:53life, but let's break it down for what I
352. 11:55did in my business this week. If it's
353. 11:56Friday and I write down that this week
354. 11:58was not that productive and I feel
355. 12:00frustrated by it, I like to review and
356. 12:02think about my summarizing of the week.
357. 12:05Maybe I wasn't as good at getting up in
358. 12:07writing first thing in the morning.
359. 12:09Maybe I was grabbing my phone to do
360. 12:10something quickly, and that totally
361. 12:12totally destroyed my productivity for
362. 12:14the day.
363. 12:15Then I'm looking at that and I'm like,
364. 12:17"Okay, well, for this day at least, I
365. 12:19can fix it. I can put my phone in a
366. 12:21completely different room for the entire
367. 12:22day, leave it there, and I don't have to
368. 12:24worry about it." Or maybe it's the
369. 12:26opposite where I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I
370. 12:27killed it this week." And then I ask
371. 12:30myself, "Why? Why was this week so much
372. 12:31better than last one?" And then I take a
373. 12:33look and realize that Friday last week,
374. 12:35I was able to plan this week out a lot
375. 12:37more. I set my goals before the week
376. 12:39started, so I had an idea of what I was
377. 12:41going to be doing.
378. 12:42I also realized I planned a lot of my
379. 12:44meals and had leftovers, so I didn't
380. 12:46have to break as long for lunch time.
381. 12:49And so, maybe these habits are things
382. 12:50that I want to bring forward in my life.
383. 12:52And then I have to think about like how
384. 12:53those fit into my life. If I can put
385. 12:55these in my calendar to make it a lot
386. 12:56easier. So, maybe on Sundays, I start
387. 12:58adding some time to make some extra meal
388. 13:00prepping for lunches. On Friday, maybe I
389. 13:03take 20 minutes to review the next week,
390. 13:05so I know exactly what I'm going to be
391. 13:06up to, editing back what I really wanted
392. 13:08to do this week. And that right there is
393. 13:11the key to it all is you're making
394. 13:13actions through these writings and
395. 13:14summarizing your life, realizing these
396. 13:16small things within it that made the
397. 13:18giant changes that we barely even
398. 13:20recognized on paper. This practice of
399. 13:23noticing, it takes time to get used to.
400. 13:25It's not something that you're going to
401. 13:26able to do overnight, similar to writing
402. 13:29and really enjoying it. But the general
403. 13:31idea of this is making a statement and
404. 13:33then breaking it down and figuring out
405. 13:35why.
406. 13:36Then we take those and make them into
407. 13:38actions.
408. 13:39And that's where the rest of my journal
409. 13:41ecosystem comes in.
410. 13:42So now you know how to ask yourself
411. 13:44questions and get down to the very
412. 13:46bottom of it. I really believe that
413. 13:47writing can be such a beautiful
414. 13:48practice. We get to run our minds as
415. 13:51freely and as crazily as we want. Then
416. 13:53we have this beautiful observer
417. 13:55listening to it all, summarizing it into
418. 13:57facts.
419. 13:58And then from that, it's not just one
420. 14:01journal entry that really helps us, but
421. 14:03the collectiveness of it. So if I have
422. 14:05this frustration, thought, or sadness,
423. 14:07or something, or excitement, if it's for
424. 14:09one day, fine. But if I have excitement
425. 14:12again and again and again and I'm
426. 14:14thinking about it more and I'm seeing
427. 14:16the patterns in my writing and I'm
428. 14:17picking up on that and really paying
429. 14:19attention to them, that's when I decide
430. 14:21to explore.
431. 14:23And so that's where I decided to kind of
432. 14:25jump into painting a lot more this year.
433. 14:27I kept having those thoughts like, it
434. 14:29would be so nice to paint more often. I
435. 14:31would love to take classes. I would go
436. 14:33to the art school that I teach at and
437. 14:35see the people painting and I was like
438. 14:37jealous. I could feel it. I really
439. 14:39wanted to do it. And so although I'm
440. 14:41just a craft level for that skill right
441. 14:43now and it's definitely not a fine art,
442. 14:46it is something that I feel like
443. 14:47deserves to have its time of day because
444. 14:49of how much I thought about it before
445. 14:51going into it. And by writing these out,
446. 14:54I was able to affirm this feeling. It
447. 14:56really showed me how important that was
448. 14:58to myself.
449. 14:59It's this idea that if we're writing
450. 15:00again and again and we see the same
451. 15:02things coming up that maybe we should
452. 15:04really think about doing that thing. It
453. 15:06feels a lot more valid because we have
454. 15:08all this proof that we're actually
455. 15:09interested in the thing that's coming up
456. 15:11that often. And it's not always one
457. 15:13thing. There's definitely a ton of
458. 15:14different things. But for me, the things
459. 15:16that I just mentioned in my example are
460. 15:18definitely things that keep coming up.
461. 15:20It's like the weeks that are the most
462. 15:21productive, they have the same things.
463. 15:24They're the weeks where I felt like I
464. 15:25was writing the best.
465. 15:27The ones where my phone was nowhere to
466. 15:28be seen in the studio while I'm working.
467. 15:31That I got a good night's sleep. That I
468. 15:33read my book before bed. That I made
469. 15:35some healthy meals and I felt good about
470. 15:37that.
471. 15:38That I felt connected to my friends and
472. 15:40family. You know, learning from the
473. 15:42world is so beautiful and vast and even
474. 15:45this, you know, you guys are taking the
475. 15:46time to watch this video, which I
476. 15:48appreciate so much.
477. 15:50But it's also like a lot of the time we
478. 15:52just forget that we also internally have
479. 15:54all these things that we, you know, have
480. 15:56to listen to as well and that that voice
481. 15:59is often silenced when in a lot of us.
482. 16:01When making this video and reading the
483. 16:03comments and emails that I got from you
484. 16:05guys on the last video, a lot of you
485. 16:07asked what the prompts were. Well,
486. 16:10as you can see, I can't really give you
487. 16:12those prompts exactly. It's just more of
488. 16:14this feeling and practice of being
489. 16:16curious. Follow the whispers. Ask why.
490. 16:20Remember to be curious. Treat yourself
491. 16:23like a toddler with curiosity around the
492. 16:25world who hasn't been jaded by society
493. 16:27yet. The best part of all of this is
494. 16:30that those questions are already inside
495. 16:32of you and you've probably heard them a
496. 16:34number of times. And so by keeping up
497. 16:36this practice, I promise you you're
498. 16:38going to hear them more and more. You
499. 16:39probably just haven't given them time to
500. 16:41speak and you definitely haven't
501. 16:42recorded them down yet. Once you get
502. 16:44that figured out though, I promise, you
503. 16:47will feel the most you you've ever felt.
504. 16:50You will see life-changing statements in
505. 16:53your pages. You'll see through the
506. 16:55matrix and you'll just have a better
507. 16:58understanding of everything else going
508. 16:59on around you and, you know, that means
509. 17:02that change is probably going to happen
510. 17:04and growth and I think that it's so
511. 17:06important to do that through your whole
512. 17:07life.
513. 17:08I'm an avid lifelong learner as I've
514. 17:11definitely said a lot of times and I
515. 17:13think you should be too.
516. 17:15That said, if you're still feeling
517. 17:16extremely stuck in this, I do have an
518. 17:19art retreat coming up this summer. It is
519. 17:21not just for artists. It's for people
520. 17:23who are interested in getting to know
521. 17:25themselves better, just using the tool
522. 17:27of writing and art to get there.
523. 17:30And through that, I will ask you
524. 17:31questions that will hopefully get you to
525. 17:33where you're hoping to be. So, if you're
526. 17:35interested in coming on that, it's in
527. 17:36August 22nd and 23rd. Uh the link will
528. 17:39be down below if you're interested in
529. 17:41signing up for that. Yeah, I really hope
530. 17:43you can make that. And the biggest thing
531. 17:45too that I saw in comments that I
532. 17:46haven't touched on yet is this idea of
533. 17:48what are we going to do with them after?
534. 17:50Like, you have books and books of
535. 17:52writing,
536. 17:53but what where do they go? Um what do we
537. 17:55do with them? And to that, I say I don't
538. 17:59exactly have the answer yet, but I will
539. 18:01hopefully in the fall as I'm wrapping up
540. 18:03this year and thinking about how I want
541. 18:04to move forward. So, if you're
542. 18:06interested in following along on that
543. 18:08journey, I'm going to have a lot more
544. 18:09for you on this topic. You can subscribe
545. 18:12now. You can join my email list so you
546. 18:13can hear more updates on all of my
547. 18:15journey through this. And if you've been
548. 18:18keeping a journal since the last video
549. 18:20came out, I'd love to hear how it's
550. 18:22going and if you're finding it getting
551. 18:25easier and easier as time goes on. And
552. 18:27yeah, [music] I just want to say thank
553. 18:29you guys for watching this video and I
554. 18:30hope it's helpful. Bye, guys.