Buzz Aldrin Was The First Man To Relieve Himself On The Moon | Late Night with Conan O’Brien — Transcript

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1. 0:00I don't want to be presumptuous here.
2. 0:01I can call you Buzz?
3. 0:03Buzz, that's a legal.
4. 0:04Passport, drivers license.
5. 0:05Okay, and I am Uncle Coney tonight.
6. 0:08Uncle Coney.
7. 0:08Let's talk about this because this is fascinating.
8. 0:10I remember very clearly.
9. 0:11I think anybody who was alive at the time does.
10. 0:13I remember my parents waking me up
11. 0:14and we went down and we watched you guys land on the moon.
12. 0:18No you didn't, no you didn't.
13. 0:19What?
14. 0:20Because there wasn't any television.
15. 0:22There wasn't about taking a picture.
16. 0:23You watched animation.
17. 0:26You associated what you saw with.
18. 0:28I have very hazy memories.
19. 0:29I know.
20. 0:30What we saw was we all were gathered
21. 0:33around the old curve top radio and listened.
22. 0:35You heard me talking about how many feet
23. 0:37we were going to the left and right.
24. 0:39And then I said, "Contact light, engine stop."
25. 0:42[Conan] It was exciting.
26. 0:44A few other things and then Neil said,
27. 0:45"Houston, Tranquility Base.
28. 0:47"The eagle has landed."
29. 0:49Man, how about that?
30. 0:49That was very exciting.
31. 0:50Not a bad line.
32. 0:51Yeah, yeah.
33. 0:53So were you self-conscious about the entire earth
34. 0:58is watching and listening to everything that you guys do?
35. 1:01Were you self-conscious at all
36. 1:02about what am I gonna say?
37. 1:04What if I say something that's kinda stupid?
38. 1:06It's in the history books forever,
39. 1:07like "I want a cookie" or you know?
40. 1:11You got it, you got it.
41. 1:12[Conan] You worried then?
42. 1:13We were focused, you know?
43. 1:15I was afraid that Neil might say,
44. 1:17"Hey, you better go out first
45. 1:18"and think up a couple of lines to say
46. 1:20"when you step on the moon".
47. 1:21[Conan] Right, right.
48. 1:23Because that's a huge responsibility.
49. 1:24Now, you were not the first man to walk on the moon,
50. 1:27but you've actually talked about this.
51. 1:28You were the first man to relieve himself on the moon.
52. 1:30Is that true?
53. 1:32That is correct.
54. 1:33[Conan] That is correct.
55. 1:35(applause and laughter)
56. 1:41But not on the moon, you know?
57. 1:44You didn't unzip, yeah, right.
58. 1:46You do not want to unzip. Right, right.
59. 1:48That would be stupid.
60. 1:49But we got a little devise.
61. 1:51I don't want to know about the devise.
62. 1:55You know, actually in the footage
63. 1:56you're the one that's bunny hopping.
64. 1:58You know what I mean?
65. 1:59Why were you doing that? Because you look at the footage
66. 2:00and you were the astronaut that started
67. 2:02jumping up and down on the moon
68. 2:04and doing some kind of a bunny hop.
69. 2:06Not bunny hop, kangaroo hop.
70. 2:08Two feet.
71. 2:09Ugh, I always mess up these technical terms.
72. 2:13You gotta keep those people
73. 2:14in the souther hemisphere happy.
74. 2:17What was the point of that?
75. 2:18Was that a scientific experiment
76. 2:20or you had too much gas in the helmet?
77. 2:21No, I thought it was a good idea.
78. 2:23(laughter)
79. 2:25I thought it was a good idea in front of the TV
80. 2:28to bounce around and to demonstrate
81. 2:30how easy a guy could move around, or a gal,
82. 2:32could move around on the moon.
83. 2:34What did you eat up there?
84. 2:36You always hear about, we were told that you guys had tang.
85. 2:39I think you didn't have tang.
86. 2:40We didn't call it that.
87. 2:41We had an orange drink,
88. 2:42but you know, some of the guys didn't like the orange drink
89. 2:45so we'd cut it with grapefruit juice
90. 2:47and we called it orange grapefruit juice.
91. 2:48'Cause as kids we were told the astronauts drank tang.
92. 2:51You must also have tang.
93. 2:52And now I find out that that's a bunch of bologna, you know?
94. 2:55No, we had whatever went into tang,
95. 2:57went into the orange drink, so.
96. 2:59You know, NASA gets a little sensitive
97. 3:01about commercializing things, Coca-Cola and that sort.
98. 3:04Right, they don't like that kind of thing.
99. 3:06What did you actually eat?
100. 3:07What kind of food were you having up there?
101. 3:10Well it wasn't gourmet.
102. 3:13You don't want to have crummy things
103. 3:15because the crumbs go all over the place.
104. 3:17Dried peas would not work.
105. 3:20Caviar would be good.
106. 3:21Or like a pound cake, a dry pound cake.
107. 3:22You would eat that because the crumbs are everywhere.
108. 3:24This is good pound cake (funny sounds).
109. 3:26You know, and suddenly you're in trouble.
110. 3:28But caviar would have been good,
111. 3:30but it's a little expensive and we were
112. 3:31getting a little over budget.
113. 3:33So we had to have hot dogs, I think it was.
114. 3:36You didn't have hot dogs.
115. 3:38Yeah, little hot dogs.
116. 3:39This is a big scientific mission.
117. 3:39They shoved hot dogs into the capsule just before you went?
118. 3:42Oh yeah, and have these.
119. 3:43No, it was new, it was innovative
120. 3:45because up to that time we'd had
121. 3:46what they called freeze dried.
122. 3:48It's all in a plastic pouch and it's all vacuated.
123. 3:53You know, you take all the stuff out of it
124. 3:55and all the water out of it.
125. 3:56And on one end it's got a little valve
126. 3:57and you pump the water in through a water gun
127. 3:59[Conan] Right.
128. 4:00And if it's freeze dried coffee,
129. 4:02then you can put hot water in.
130. 4:04That was luxury.
131. 4:05The command module on Apollo had hot water in it.
132. 4:08Well now we actually, we're not gonna get into it,
133. 4:10but the foods they have today are like
134. 4:12freeze-dried pizzas, beef stroganoff.
135. 4:14They have actually add water and you get a nine-layer cake.
136. 4:18These guys have some serious food.
137. 4:20It's almost like a TV dinner
138. 4:21and sometimes a TV puts you on the TV
139. 4:25while you're eating dinner.
140. 4:26You know, I bet you thought I wore this just for you.
141. 4:30[Conan] What, because of the late night theme.
142. 4:31All these stars and moons and all around.
143. 4:33It'd be nice if you wore a tie that was a tribute to me.
144. 4:36(laughter)
145. 4:38I bet you thought that's.
146. 4:39That's nice.
147. 4:40You got a lot of stars and moons all over you.
148. 4:41You're like the Lucky Charm guy.
149. 4:43(laughter)
150. 4:45That's very cool, they're everywhere.
151. 4:49What do you got?
152. 4:50What's this right here?
153. 4:51I don't know, they throw this stuff on us.
154. 4:52It's a clip-on.
155. 4:54(laughter)
156. 4:55I have to mention before we go
157. 4:57that you've written a book.
158. 4:59This is a novel.
159. 5:00That's right.
160. 5:01And it's called The Return, right here,
161. 5:03which people should check out.
162. 5:04It's a techno-thriller.
163. 5:05It's a techno-thriller.
164. 5:06And it's based on some of your experiences?
165. 5:08No, it's based on what I think should happen.
166. 5:10[Conan] What should happen?
167. 5:11We need to start flying private citizens in space.
168. 5:15And this talks about flying a journalist
169. 5:18and then a game show winner pyramid to space,
170. 5:20and then a coup de gras is a well-known celebrity.
171. 5:25Yes!
172. 5:25Oh no, well-known, sorry.
173. 5:27(laughter)
174. 5:29No, he's a basketball player.
175. 5:30Tall, retired, worked for a shoe company.
176. 5:32(laughing)
177. 5:33Michael James!
178. 5:37Yeah, he's gonna sue you so fast, yeah.
179. 5:40Michael Gordon.
180. 5:43Well the book The Return is available now.
181. 5:45Buzz, it's really cool.
182. 5:46I've always wanted to meet you.
183. 5:48It's really great to have you on the program.
184. 5:49Thank you for doing it.
185. 5:50Hey, nice to be here.
186. 5:52(cheering)
187. 5:53Buzz Aldrin, everybody.