Build Trust through Active Listening | Simon Sinek — Transcript

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1. 0:00we don't teach active listening we don't
2. 0:02teach
3. 0:03Executives or any employee in our
4. 0:05company how to make someone else feel
5. 0:06heard feel understood feel seen
6. 0:10which is where it starts and if that can
7. 0:13happen then all kinds of trust builds
8. 0:15and and all the other things start to
9. 0:17break away the so for example when after
10. 0:19the murder of George Floyd
11. 0:21I was astonished at the number of uh
12. 0:24people in a leadership position
13. 0:25regardless of you know mid-ranking on on
14. 0:28up
15. 0:29um
16. 0:30did nothing
17. 0:31in companies people who lead teams that
18. 0:35after the murder of George Floyd they
19. 0:36didn't talk to their teams they just did
20. 0:38nothing and it's not because they're bad
21. 0:40people it's because they didn't have the
22. 0:43skills they didn't know how to have an
23. 0:45uncomfortable or difficult conversation
24. 0:47and so they chose nothing which makes
25. 0:49things worse
26. 0:51and uh and and and this is just a skill
27. 0:55we can teach people and here's how to
28. 0:56have a difficult conversation you bring
29. 0:57your team together and say
30. 0:59um we need to have an uncomfortable
31. 1:01conversation
32. 1:03um about race and our company
33. 1:05and
34. 1:07um uh I'm nervous to have this
35. 1:09conversation
36. 1:10because I'm afraid that I'm I'm gonna
37. 1:13Bumble something
38. 1:14I'm afraid that I'm going to say
39. 1:16something that will trigger somebody
40. 1:17and I'm afraid I'm gonna say something
41. 1:20or someone will say something that that
42. 1:22may agitate and make this worse
43. 1:25but I think it's more important that we
44. 1:28have this conversation than we than than
45. 1:30my fear of doing this perfectly
46. 1:33and that's how you start a difficult
47. 1:34conversation
48. 1:35and it is difficult but it is necessary
49. 1:38and those conversations are not
50. 1:40happening
51. 1:41and again not because of bad people it's
52. 1:43because people are afraid and they don't
53. 1:44have the skills to start those
54. 1:46conversations and it is the
55. 1:48responsibility of leaders because that's
56. 1:50what we call you leader we call you
57. 1:52leader because you go first not because
58. 1:53you're in charge but because you go
59. 1:55first first to the unknown first of the
60. 1:57difficult first of the dangers
61. 2:00um and it is our responsibility as as as
62. 2:03uh as a corporation to empower and
63. 2:07educate our leaders to to do the things
64. 2:09that they need to do with their teams
65. 2:12um and of course up on high same thing
66. 2:15um so I think that's where it begins
67. 2:18there's a there's a tremendous lack of
68. 2:19listening in our nation so listening is
69. 2:22a trust building exercise right if
70. 2:24you've if you're in a take it down to a
71. 2:26personal relationship if you've been in
72. 2:28if you've ever had a romantic
73. 2:29relationship it's a loved one right
74. 2:32um
75. 2:33um making someone feel heard
76. 2:35doesn't mean you're wrong saying sorry
77. 2:38doesn't mean you're wrong it just means
78. 2:40you take accountability for your for
79. 2:42your actions and I think it is important
80. 2:45that we attempt to hear them make them
81. 2:50feel heard doesn't mean we have to agree
82. 2:52but they have to feel heard and you know
83. 2:57listening is not hearing the words
84. 3:00you know it's making the other person
85. 3:02feel that they were heard it's it's it
86. 3:05we don't get to decide when when hearing
87. 3:08has happened when listening they do and
88. 3:10and by the way it's not 100 successful
89. 3:12either you know because some people are
90. 3:14just hell-bent on and but that's a
91. 3:16minority
92. 3:17and so I think the exercise is sitting
93. 3:19down with people and say tell me tell me
94. 3:21what's what you're going through tell me
95. 3:23what you're afraid of I want to
96. 3:24understand because we're trying to make
97. 3:26everyone safe I I wanna I wanna hear
98. 3:29what what your thing is and let them
99. 3:31tell their story we have no answers
100. 3:34we're not there to object we're not
101. 3:35there to react we're not there to fix or
102. 3:37tell them that they're wrong women are
103. 3:39better than this than men and I think
104. 3:41that has to happen and it can happen
105. 3:42simultaneously