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Brian Tracy | The Phoenix Seminar | Complete in HD and English — Transcript

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0:18hi I'm Brian Tracy and welcome to the
0:20Phoenix seminar on the psychology of
0:22achievement have you ever wondered why
0:24some people are more successful than
0:26others why some people earn more money
0:28are happier have better jobs better
0:30relationships Better Health and seem to
0:32get far more out of life well when I was
0:3415 years old this question began to
0:36preoccupy me I've spent over 25 years
0:39I've traveled in over 80 countries I've
0:41worked at 30 different jobs and I've
0:43spent by my own estimate about 30,000
0:45hours in study to try to find the answer
0:48to why some people are more successful
0:50than others and you know something I
0:52have found that this is one of the most
0:54studied subjects in the world that
0:55there's more information available on it
0:57today than has ever been available
0:59before and that today we can say with
1:01complete confidence that success is as
1:04predictable as the sun rising in the
1:06East and setting in the west today you
1:09can be more successful faster than you
1:11ever dreamed possible if you will do two
1:14basic things number one make a decision
1:17to exceed all your previous levels of
1:19accomplishment make a decision to be
1:21successful and to achieve your goals
1:22whatever you construe them to be and
1:24number two learn how this seminar has
1:28been assembled in order to teach you how
1:30since we put it together several years
1:32ago over
1:33150,000 men and women have been through
1:36this seminar in one form or another and
1:38many of them have said it's like getting
1:40a brand new chance at life one gentleman
1:43said to us it was like getting a blank
1:46check on the future we're going to teach
1:48you in the next few hours some of the
1:50most important things that have ever
1:51been found that have been discovered and
1:53rediscovered that go back 4,000 years
1:56into History Science religion
1:58metaphysics Psych ology philosophy and
2:01all esoteric fields of study have come
2:03to the conclusions that we are going to
2:05talk about in this seminar if you will
2:08just use some of the things you learn in
2:09this seminar it can dramatically change
2:11your results for the better now in
2:15studying the subject of success one of
2:17the things we have to do is put some
2:18preconceptions aside one of the things
2:20that I began thinking was that in order
2:23to be successful you had to be
2:24especially intelligent or you had to
2:25have a great education or you had to be
2:27terrific looking or you had to have
2:28context or you had to have luck do you
2:30know that these items have been examined
2:32thoroughly and there's no correlation at
2:34all between success and intelligence
2:37education luck contacts and appearance
2:40they are helpful in some cases but
2:42there's no direct correlation success is
2:44based on other things now before we go
2:47any further let's talk about what we
2:48mean by success when we look at the
2:50difference between animals and human
2:52beings we find that animals have what is
2:54called a survival Instinct animals work
2:57to get enough to eat a place to sleep to
2:59reproduce their species and then they
3:01either hibernate and or die human beings
3:04have what you might call a success
3:05Instinct a success Instinct means that
3:09human beings are driven internally to
3:11succeed that it is as natural for you to
3:14be a success and to want to be a success
3:17as it is for you to breathe in and
3:20breathe out that success the drive to be
3:22and have and do and more to fulfill your
3:24potential as a human being is an
3:26absolutely essential part of your being
3:29that we never are satisfied as long as
3:31we're alive we always want to have more
3:33we always want to be more we always want
3:34to do more the question of course is why
3:37is it that so few people achieve things
3:40in life let's talk about what the
3:42success Instinct Embraces now I have
3:43looked at this for years and years and
3:45in my estimation success can be broken
3:48down and put under seven categories
3:50there are seven ingredients of success
3:53and if you have these seven everything
3:54you could ever want in life can be put
3:55under one of these categories so let's
3:57look at what we're talking about number
3:58one starting point of success top of the
4:01Hit Parade throughout all of human
4:02history is peace of mind Peace of Mind
4:06means that you feel content at peace
4:10relaxed inside peace of mind to a great
4:12degree means freedom it means freedom
4:14especially from Fear Freedom From Fear
4:18freedom from stress freedom from anxiety
4:20Freedom from Want freedom from lack
4:22freedom from negative emotions freedom
4:24from guilt and so on but peace of
4:27mind is the first and most important
4:30ingredient of success why it's because
4:31if you get anything else in life and you
4:32don't get your peace of mind you won't
4:34even enjoy it number two ingredient of
4:36success health and
4:39energy health and energy Health means
4:42that we have the health we are free from
4:45sickness freedom from disease Freedom
4:47From Pain freedom from ailments and so
4:49on but also energy we mean vitality and
4:52today we know as a result of exhaustive
4:55research in medicine and psychology that
4:57there's a very close correlation between
4:59peace of mind and health and energy is
5:00that 80 to 90% of all the ailments that
5:03the human body suffers including most of
5:05the reasons why we die before our time
5:07have to do with disrupted Peace of Mind
5:09psychosomatic medicine is based on the
5:12discovery that psycho the Mind makes
5:14Soma the body sick so therefore as we
5:16strive for higher levels of peace of
5:18mind we almost automatically have better
5:20levels of health and energy now the
5:23third ingredient of success is loving
5:27relationships loving relationship ship
5:30means that we have the ability the
5:32capacity to enter into long-term loving
5:35relationships with other men and women
5:37it means that we have the ability to
5:39give of ourselves to love and to be
5:41loved and the ability to enter into
5:43loving relationships is an essential
5:45part of Being Human it is the one
5:48essential characteristic of our
5:50humanhood and when we look at loving
5:51relationships you'll find that almost
5:52all of the problems you have in life
5:54about 80% 85% of our problems in life as
5:57they say talk back that 85 5% of all the
6:00success you'll ever enjoy in life is
6:01going to be determined by how well you
6:03get along with other people the quality
6:05and quantity of our relationships is the
6:07true Mark of how well you're doing as a
6:09human being and as you know that
6:12problems within your relationship
6:13starting from Early Childhood all the
6:15way up through our adult lives disrupt
6:16our health and energy disrupt our peace
6:18of mind if our loving relationships are
6:20stable usually our health and energy is
6:22stable and we have great peace of mind
6:24now how do you measure loving
6:25relationships well one of the simplest
6:27measures that you can use is simply this
6:29it is is to ask yourself how much you
6:32laugh with another person how much do
6:35you laugh because you'll find that the
6:37first thing that enters into a happy
6:39relationship is laughter and the first
6:41things that leaves when the relationship
6:43starts to go sour is the laughter
6:45laughter because it is a completely
6:47spontaneous expression of life is the
6:50true Mark of a healthy personality and a
6:53healthy relationship as as you know from
6:55your own experience now number four
6:58ingredient of success is fin Financial
7:01Freedom Financial Freedom
7:03means that you have enough money so that
7:07you don't worry about money now some
7:10people have a tendency to say well
7:11success is just simply a matter of money
7:13and they're not interested in money but
7:15the fact of the matter is that money is
7:17important it takes money to buy clothes
7:19and books and to go to school and buy
7:21medical attention and to travel and to
7:23have all the good things in life and
7:24every one of us in order to be a success
7:27has to reach the point where we know we
7:29have the capacity to earn enough money
7:32so that we don't worry about money we
7:34have to reach the point where we can
7:36turn our minds to other things higher
7:38things to our relationships to our
7:40health to the uh Improvement of our
7:43minds to the expansion of our emotional
7:45and our spiritual life but we all have
7:47to have the ability to earn more money
7:49and the great majority of people
7:50unfortunately don't earn enough by their
7:53own estimation in this course you're
7:55going to learn how you can earn
7:57virtually all the money that you want in
7:59the course of your lifetime if you're
8:01willing to make the efforts and to pay
8:02the necessary price now the fifth
8:04ingredient of success is worthy goals
8:07and
8:08ideals worthy
8:11goals and ideals sometimes when we talk
8:14about ideals we mean values and we know
8:17that values really lie at the core of
8:19the human being what your values are
8:21determines almost everything that
8:22happens to you worthy goals and ideals
8:24are what give us a sense of
8:27meaning meaning
8:29and purpose Dr Victor Frankle the
8:32founder of logo therapy concluded after
8:34a lifetime of research that we as human
8:36beings need meaning and purpose we need
8:39significance you need to know that
8:40you're doing something that's important
8:42you need to know when you get up in the
8:43morning why you're getting up you need
8:45to believe in what you're doing you need
8:47commitment you need involvement you need
8:49dedication you need excitement in life
8:51so therefore worthy goals and ideals are
8:54critical and worthy goals and ideals of
8:55course that are consistent with your
8:57values what we have found unfortunately
8:59is probably 80% or more of people have
9:01little or no values they have no sense
9:03of direction they just wander they do
9:05whatever what whatever someone else
9:07wants them to do and and this is a major
9:09problem that contributes to unhappiness
9:11the sixth ingredient of success is self-
9:14knowledge self- understanding self-
9:18knowledge self- understanding what does
9:21this mean well it means that you know
9:23and understand who you
9:25are why you do the things you do what
9:29makes you tick it also means that you
9:31have self-honesty it also means that you
9:34have the character and the courage to
9:36face yourself honestly and squarely as
9:38Shakespeare said warts and all you have
9:40the honesty to face your strengths into
9:42weaknesses you have the honesty if you
9:44like and the Integrity to look into
9:46yourself to fully understand why you do
9:49what you do what makes you tick and in
9:52this seminar by the way we're going to
9:53give you an enormous amount of
9:54information on why you are the way you
9:57are and how you can change it in a very
9:59positive way if you're not happy with it
10:01now the seventh ingredient of success is
10:04really a result and it is a sense of
10:06personal
10:07fulfillment it is a sense of personal
10:09fulfillment what Abraham maslo called
10:13self-actualization self-actualization is
10:15the feeling that you are becoming
10:18everything that you're capable of
10:19becoming self-actualization means that
10:21you feel every single day that you're
10:23moving toward the Fulfillment of your
10:25inherent possibilities and
10:27self-actualization comes as a result of
10:29having worthy goals and ideals having
10:31loving relationships having a high
10:33degree of self- knowledge and self-
10:35understanding which generates health and
10:37energy Peace of Mind loving
10:38relationships and so
10:40on now the interesting thing is the
10:43tragedy is the great majority of men and
10:44women today achieve so little on a score
10:48of 1 to 10 in terms of human potential
10:50the average person is functioning it Far
10:52Far Below what they're capable of on a
10:54score of 1 to 10 the average person is
10:56scoring perhaps two or three on most of
10:58these scales 84% of people working today
11:01are underemployed in that their jobs do
11:03not fully tax their abilities and their
11:05potential 80% would rather be doing
11:07something else in a study of married
11:09couples what we found was that 38% of
11:11married couples would rather be married
11:13to someone else uh We've also found that
11:16the great majority of people in our
11:17society after a lifetime of well-paid
11:20work retire broke they retire poor they
11:23retire on pensions only 1% become
11:25wealthy only 5% become financially
11:27independent 15% % have some savings and
11:3080% are dependent on others the average
11:33savings lifetime Savings of a retired
11:36couple in America or Canada today is
11:38less than $660,000 that's after earning
11:40between half a million and a million
11:42dollars in an average working Lifetime
11:44well why is this the number one reason
11:46is that we come into this world without
11:48an instruction manual you can go through
11:50your entire education and never never be
11:52taught anything about success I
11:54personally believe that there should be
11:55a course on success in every single
11:57grade level in every single School in
11:59every single college and university we
12:01come into the world like a computer if
12:04you can imagine a computer imagine that
12:05you bought this beautiful sophisticated
12:07computer and you took it home and you
12:09took it out of the box and you set it up
12:10but you had no instruction manual that
12:13you had to figure out how to work out
12:14this computer all by yourself or imagine
12:16a com combination lock being given a
12:18beautiful combination lock that is on a
12:21box that contains everything that you
12:22ever want but you don't know the
12:23combination we come into the world with
12:26no instruction manual and we spend our
12:27whole lives trying to figure out how to
12:29do things right well the key to success
12:31is first of all what we call you
12:34understanding learning how to do things
12:36right and this course is an instruction
12:38manual on success you'll be able to get
12:40more out of yourself as a result of this
12:42course that you can possibly dream of
12:44today the second ingredient is e which
12:47requires effort there are many people as
12:49you know lifelong students who study and
12:51study and study but they never make the
12:53necessary or the correct efforts the
12:55middle point is a multiplication sign
12:57and understanding multiplied time effort
12:59equals results in this course what we're
13:02going to do is we're going to
13:03dramatically increase your understanding
13:05we're going to give you the tools to
13:07dramatically increase the effectiveness
13:09of your efforts so you're doing not only
13:11things right but you are doing the right
13:13things and you're going to
13:16dramatically increase your results many
13:20people have taken this course and been
13:21able to earn more in the following year
13:23than they earned in the previous five
13:25many people have taken this course and
13:27been able to make more progress in one
13:28or two years and they made in their
13:29lifetime to date it is not unusual for a
13:32person to take this course and double or
13:33triple their income within a matter of a
13:36few weeks or a few months simply by
13:38applying some of these principles now do
13:42these principles work these principles
13:44are the basis of all success and
13:46achievement in adult life every
13:48successful man or woman uses them to
13:50some degree every successful man or
13:52woman practices them consciously or
13:53unconsciously what we've done is we've
13:55developed them together in this seminar
13:57program as a system very much like a
14:01process of learning anything that if you
14:02will take it if you will use it if you
14:04will apply it systematically if you will
14:06put it into action and you'll work with
14:08it consistently for even a short period
14:10of time you're going to start to see
14:12changes that are absolutely marvelous it
14:15is my contention that you can be have or
14:17do anything that you want in life you
14:19can grow and expand and fulfill your
14:21potential you can earn more money you
14:22can have greater peace of mind you can
14:24have more health and energy you can have
14:25better loving relationships you can have
14:28Financial Security you can have a sense
14:30of personal fulfillment you have a great
14:31feeling of Peace inside simply by
14:34following what's in this course so
14:36please come with me let's go and let's
14:38begin to explore everything that you're
14:41capable of doing let us look at what you
14:44may be in terms of your future
15:02session two seven mental laws the
15:05starting point of self- knowledge is to
15:07recognize this wonderful fact is that
15:09you are extraordinary you are unique the
15:13odds against there being someone exactly
15:15like you are over 50 billion to one that
15:18every single part of your body and
15:19anatomists and physiologists and doctors
15:21have demonstrated that your blood
15:23composition is different from any other
15:25person that has ever lived your
15:26fingerprints are different your limp
15:28prints are different even your ear
15:29prints are different even your toe
15:31prints are different from anybody that
15:33has ever lived you are different from
15:35anyone else and self- knowledge begins
15:37with accepting that you are a unique and
15:39special individual and that you have the
15:41capacity to do something wonderful with
15:43your life now that being said you are
15:46also the same as everybody else with
15:49respect to certain basic principles
15:51throughout the history of mankind the
15:54most intelligent men and women who have
15:55ever lived have sought answers to the
15:57question of the human dilemma what can
16:00people do in order to change the quality
16:02of their lives their relationships and
16:05their results the great philosophers the
16:07great metaphysicians the great Scholars
16:09have pondered over this sometimes for
16:11their entire lifetimes in our Century I
16:14know men and women who spent 10 20 30 40
16:16even 50 years studying success and
16:18achievement to find out what general
16:21rules and principles we can draw upon to
16:24be more successful the first thing that
16:26we have to start with the basis for this
16:27entire course the psychology of
16:29achievement is this is that you are a
16:32mental creature the only thing that
16:34makes you truly unique is your mind
16:38everything else you have in common as
16:40Eugene O'Neal the playright said with a
16:42horse or a pig your mind is what makes
16:45you unique your body simply carries your
16:47mind around and just as electricity
16:50works on laws of electricity and physics
16:52works on laws of physics and nature
16:54works on laws of nature there are
16:56certain mental laws that Det determine
16:59everything that happens to you and these
17:01mental laws are as inexorable as the
17:04laws of gravity they work 100% of the
17:06time and every single success you have
17:09in life comes from living your life in
17:11harmony with basic mental laws and every
17:14problem or difficulty you ever have in
17:15life comes from living your life out of
17:18harmony with those basic laws now mental
17:20laws work 100% of the time like gravity
17:24works 100% of the time what they say
17:26what it means is that if you step off a
17:2810 story building in the city where
17:30you're living or in London England or in
17:32Lima Peru you're going to go Splat on
17:34the sidewalk whether you know about
17:36gravity whether you believe in gravity
17:39whether you agree with gravity or
17:41whether gravity is convenient for you
17:43it's going to work on you nonetheless
17:46the mental laws are exactly the same and
17:47in this course I'm going to introduce
17:49you to about 20 mental laws some of
17:52which are more important than others but
17:53all of which it is critical for you to
17:56understand now let's start with the
17:57first of the mental laws
18:00the first mental law and by the way
18:01these laws have been written about and
18:02studied for Century after century and
18:04many of them have been tested in our
18:05leading universities research institutes
18:08and think tanks in the last few years
18:10and found to be as true as they'd ever
18:12been imagined to be the first law is
18:15what we call the law of control now the
18:18law of control is very simple it's the
18:21basic law and we'll come back to it over
18:22and over again it says simply this it
18:25says that you feel good about yourself
18:28you feel positive about yourself to the
18:31degree to which you feel you are in
18:32control of your own life or you feel
18:36negative about yourself to the degree to
18:38which you feel you are not in control of
18:40your own life all you have to do is look
18:42at your life today and ask yourself what
18:44parts of your life do you feel the best
18:45at what parts of the life do you feel
18:47your life do you feel most in control
18:49you will find those are the places where
18:50you are the happiest and since the
18:53Supreme human good is to achieve a state
18:55of Happiness which is expressed in peace
18:58of mind and health and loving
18:59relationships control is absolutely
19:01essential psychologists today call this
19:03the difference between an internal locus
19:05of control which is feeling that you're
19:08in charge of your own life versus an
19:10external locus of control which means
19:13the feeling that something outside of
19:15you your bills your relationships your
19:18job your
19:20health are somehow controlling you as a
19:23matter of fact locus of control research
19:25and there are many tests that you can
19:27take to determine where you are are on
19:29this chart in terms of locus of control
19:31and what areas of your life you feel
19:33more in control and less in control
19:35people with a very high internal locus
19:37of control are high Achievers they are
19:39more successful they're more
19:41self-determined they're happier and many
19:43of things we're trying to do in this
19:44course is to give you a far greater
19:46sense of control of being in charge of
19:49every aspect of your life now control
19:51begins with first of all your thoughts
19:55interestingly enough your thoughts what
19:57you think about things and how you think
19:59determines your values it determines
20:01what is going on inside you once they
20:03are stored away your thoughts determine
20:05your feelings it's how you think about
20:08something that determines your feelings
20:10whether you are happy or unhappy whether
20:12you are scared or uh confident your
20:15feelings then determine your actions so
20:18we start off with a law of control
20:21saying that the key to success is to
20:23feel that you are the master of your own
20:25destiny that you're behind the steering
20:27wheel of your own life you're charge of
20:29your life by taking full and complete
20:31control over your thoughts your thoughts
20:33will control your feelings your feelings
20:35will control your actions and your
20:36actions remember there always your
20:38actions will determine your success or
20:41your lack thereof so the law of control
20:43is important now as opposed to the law
20:44of control we have what is called the
20:46law of
20:48accident now the law of
20:50accident is really a metaphysical
20:52principle it is only a law like a
20:54traffic law or like a legal law to the
20:56degree to which we live by it
20:59consistently the law of accident is what
21:02about 80% of the population live by plus
21:05or minus the law of accident simply says
21:08that by failing to plan you're planning
21:10to fail failing to plan is planning to
21:14fail now the majority of
21:17people don't believe that they're living
21:20by this but if you look at their lives
21:23you see that that's true failing to plan
21:25means planning to fail these are the
21:26sort of people that say well not what
21:28you know it's who you know it's being in
21:30the right place at the right time it's
21:32it's luck it's the luck of the draw and
21:34so on these are people who as a result
21:36of feeling that their life is controlled
21:38by forces outside themselves don't have
21:41clear plans don't have clear goals do
21:43not are not working persistently and
21:45consistently day by day toward
21:46accomplishing something they want and
21:48their lives just seem to drift and go
21:50around in circle like a ship without a
21:51Rudder now a person just like a ship
21:54without a Rudder A person with no
21:55Central plan is a person who has very
21:58little controls as a person who feels
22:00that in fact they are out of control of
22:02their lives like they're falling through
22:03space with no place to to stop and these
22:06people are invariably unhappy the reason
22:08why people are negative today the reason
22:09why people are unhappy the reason why
22:11people are sick and frustrated the
22:12reason why people underachieve in life
22:14is most of them are living by this law
22:17of accident and in so doing they have no
22:19sense of control over their lives they
22:21have no sense of inner peace they have
22:22no sense of happiness and so on
22:26so we are going to show show you how to
22:28free yourself from the law of accident
22:30personally or per or permanently now the
22:33next law is what is called the law of
22:35cause and
22:37effect the law of cause and
22:41effect says that for every effect in
22:45your life there is a specific cause that
22:47everything that happens in the universe
22:49happens for a reason that nothing
22:50happens by accident that failure does
22:52not happen by accident and success does
22:54not happen by accident that happiness or
22:56lack of Happiness are a result of cause
22:58and effect relationships that if we you
23:00have an effect in your life that you
23:02want to have more of more success more
23:04money more happiness Better Health you
23:06can trace it back to a cause and what
23:08you do is you repeat and duplicate the
23:09cause if you have an effect in your life
23:11that you want to have less of if you
23:12have problems difficulties and so on you
23:14can also Trace that back to a cause all
23:17progress in human life in human society
23:20stems back from identifying the causes
23:22of what we want more of or less of and
23:23changing the causes now the law of cause
23:26and effect of course is the iron law of
23:29the universe this is the law if you like
23:31that we can come back to over and over
23:33again and many of our laws are
23:34paraphrases of the iron law it's also
23:36called The Law of sewing and reaping
23:38that whatsoever you seow that also shall
23:40you reap but the iron law the law of
23:42cause and effect gives us a complete
23:45sense of control if we believe that
23:47there's a cause and effect relationship
23:48that everything happens for a reason
23:50then we have a tremendous feeling of
23:51control in our lives we can identify the
23:53causes we can duplicate the causes we
23:55can make our lives anything we want the
23:58most most important application of the
23:59law of cause and effect is this it is
24:02that thoughts are
24:04causes thoughts are causes and
24:07conditions are
24:09effects C thoughts are causes and
24:11conditions are simply effects the
24:14starting point of everything is your
24:16thoughts about something it's your
24:18thoughts about a job your thoughts about
24:20a relationship your thoughts about your
24:21health your thoughts about your future
24:23your thoughts become causitive agents
24:25the conditions become the effects that
24:27if you wish to change any of the
24:29conditions of your life you have to
24:30change the thoughts that precede those
24:33conditions you have to change what is
24:35going on in your mind now wonderfully
24:38enough there's only one thing in the
24:39whole universe over which you have
24:41complete control and that is your
24:43thoughts so if you take full and
24:46complete control over your thoughts and
24:48keep your thoughts on what it is you
24:49want make them positive causes the
24:51conditions or effects will take care of
24:53themselves with the
24:55inexorability of a law of nature now the
24:58next law is what is called the law of
25:01belief the law of
25:03belief simply
25:05says that whatever you believe with
25:10feeling and this is the key with feeling
25:13and the more emotion you put into a
25:14belief becomes your
25:17reality it becomes your reality because
25:19you will always act in a manner
25:20consistent with your beliefs as a matter
25:23of fact your entire reality right now is
25:25simply a out outward picturing of your
25:28most intensely held beliefs if you
25:30believe something that is positive or
25:32believe something that is negative or as
25:33Henry Ford said if you believe you can
25:35do a thing or if you believe you cannot
25:37you are right our beliefs do form our
25:40realities to the degree to which we
25:42believe anything to be true our beliefs
25:44act as sort of like a screen uh they
25:47filter out any information that is
25:49inconsistent with our beliefs we have a
25:51deep down desire inside of us to remain
25:53consistent so we're always trying to
25:55view our world rationalize our world
25:57interpret our world so that it is
25:59consistent with what we have already
26:01decided to believe we develop what is
26:03called scotomas a scotoma is a word in
26:06Psychology that simply says that we
26:08develop blind spots we do not see
26:11opportunities if we are convinced that
26:13there are no opportunities we do not see
26:15possibilities for Success if we don't
26:17believe that success is possible for us
26:19however if we begin to change our
26:21beliefs we begin to change our realities
26:24let me give you an example uh there's a
26:26story of a Young Man man who came from a
26:30small Midwestern town it's true story
26:32was reported in the psychological
26:33journals a couple of years ago he got
26:36straight A all through junior high
26:37school and high school at the end of
26:3912th grade he wrote his Scholastic
26:41achievement test to go to university a
26:43few weeks later he got back a letter
26:44from the University saying you have
26:46scored 98 on the Scholastic achievement
26:47test and you're hereby admitted to the
26:49university for the fall semester well he
26:51didn't know very much about Scholastic
26:53achievement tests and he thought that
26:55the 98 was an IQ score now an IQ score
26:59of 98 is slightly below average and is
27:01about 20 points below what is necessary
27:03for college level work he was convinced
27:06and he just discarded his entire High
27:08School career all the age that he's
27:09gotten he was convinced that he could
27:10not do college level work but he went
27:12off to college in the fall after the
27:14first semester he was failing or nearly
27:16failing in every
27:18subject his counselor called him in and
27:20said what seems to be the problem you uh
27:22did extremely well in high school these
27:24courses are only one degree of
27:25difficulty uh removed from your high
27:27school courses are you having problems
27:29with uh girls are you having problems
27:30with drugs are having problems adjusting
27:32what is it he saidwell sir he said I'm
27:34doing the very best I can but you can't
27:35blame me I've only got a 98 IQ and the
27:39counselor had a file in front of me said
27:40what are you talking about he said well
27:42in my letter of admission to the
27:43university it said that I got a 98 on
27:45the Scholastic achievement test he said
27:47son that's not an IQ he said he said
27:49they said that's not an IQ that is a
27:52percentile what that means is that you
27:54scored equal to or higher than 98% of
27:57the students in the country who wrote
27:59that test you're one of the brightest
28:00kids in this University well this young
28:02guy went out he checked on the
28:04Scholastic achievement test he found it
28:05was true that the 98 was a percentile
28:08not an IQ he went back to his courses
28:11and two years later he was in the top 10
28:13in a 30,000 student University he was
28:15leading in all of his classes once he
28:17changed his reality once he changed his
28:19beliefs about his intelligence his
28:21reality changed automatically now an
28:24important point with regard to this is
28:26that every one of us has self-limiting
28:28beliefs every one of us believes
28:29ourselves to be limited in some way
28:31every one of us believes ourselves to be
28:32limited in intelligence creativity
28:34money-making ability I can't sell I
28:36can't speak in front of audiences we
28:38tend to think that we are not capable
28:40being on time we're not mechanically
28:41inclined and so on and so forth but
28:43exhaustive research demonstrates that
28:45talents are pretty evenly spread
28:47throughout the population that most of
28:50the limitations we have do not exist in
28:53reality they exist only in your own mind
28:56and one of the starting points of great
28:58achievement is to start questioning
29:00those self-limiting beliefs and throw
29:02them off and act as if they did not
29:05exist and when you act as if they didn't
29:07exist slow and behold they simply
29:10disappear okay the next law is what is
29:13called the law of expectations now the
29:16law of expectations is a law that has
29:17been talked about throughout all of
29:19human history just like in the law of
29:20belief law of belief William James of
29:23Harvard said belief creates the actual
29:25fact as a man thinketh in his heart or
29:26as he believeth so is he the law of
29:28expectations over and over say what you
29:30expect you get you get not what you want
29:33but what you expect that your
29:35expectations especially your
29:37expectations about outcomes how you
29:39think things are going to turn out
29:41become your own self-fulfilling
29:44prophecies and Dr Robert rosenfall of of
29:47Harvard University has done something
29:49like 300 experiments on expectations
29:53theory on what is called experiment
29:55Theory and he finds that your
29:56expectations have an effect on other
29:58people and events and
30:01circumstances even if your expectations
30:03are based on totally false information
30:06whatever you expect with confidence in
30:09other words if you confidently expect
30:11good things to happen surprise surprise
30:13good things happen to you if you
30:14confidently expect negative things to
30:16happen then negative things are going to
30:18happen to you that most successful
30:20people have developed an attitude of
30:22confidently expecting good things to
30:24happen uh it's called the attitude of
30:26positive self expectancy it is the
30:29attitude of the winner the winner looks
30:30for good things to happen the winner
30:32expects to win in advance and lo and
30:35behold whatever you expect with
30:37confidence tends to come true even if
30:40the information upon which your
30:41expectations is based is totally false
30:44now let me give you an example of
30:47expectations uh some years ago Dr
30:49Rosenthal after conducting a variety of
30:51different experiments came to the
30:53conclusion that the expectations that
30:55teachers had of students was having a
30:57tremendous effect effect on their
30:59ability to learn and their grade level
31:00averages so he put together a series of
31:02experiments and then one major
31:04experiment which was tremendous he went
31:06to the San Francisco Bay area and at the
31:08beginning of the school year he had the
31:09principal call in three teachers the
31:11three teachers were told that by the
31:13principal as a result of teaching
31:15Excellence they had been singled out as
31:17the three best teachers in the school
31:19and that they were going to be given 30
31:21students each of the brightest students
31:23in the school identified by IQ tests at
31:26the end of the last semester they would
31:28be able to teach these students for the
31:30entire year and it was estimated by
31:32experts that these students would jump
31:34in Scholastic achievement an average of
31:3620 to 30% over the course of that school
31:39year now the teachers were told that one
31:42of the conditions was that they mustn't
31:43tell the teacher they must tell the
31:45students and they mustn't tell their
31:47parents they must continue to teach the
31:49same way and classes were carefully
31:50monitored to make sure they taught the
31:52same way they taught before but only
31:54they would know that they had been given
31:5630 bright student students each to teach
31:58for the whole year the teachers were
32:00delighted the teachers went out they
32:01were excited about this they worked hard
32:03with those students they spent time
32:05after school with them they got really
32:07really involved in teaching more than
32:08they ever had before and at the end of
32:09the school year lo and behold those
32:11three classes LED not only the school
32:13but the entire School District in
32:14academic accomplishment at the end of
32:16the year they called the three teachers
32:17in they sat them down and they
32:19said well uh you've had a good year and
32:22they said yes it was great those kids
32:23were so bright they were so eager to
32:24learn they said well maybe we should
32:25tell you the truth that this was an
32:27experiment and the fact is that the the
32:30beginning of the school year we selected
32:32the names of 90 children by Lottery from
32:35the school population at large and
32:37assigned them to your class we didn't
32:38even know what their IQs were they said
32:40well well that's remarkable how could it
32:42have happened that they did so well and
32:44then they looked at each other and said
32:45well of course it's because we are the
32:47three most excellent teachers in this
32:48school they said well the other side of
32:50it was simply this is at the beginning
32:51of the school year we put all the
32:52teachers names in a hat and yours were
32:54the first three names that were drawn so
32:57this is what it's called call a double
32:58blind experiment they held constant for
33:00everything but expectations now the
33:02expectations on the teachers were
33:03explicit we believe that you are
33:05excellent teachers the expectations of
33:07the teachers on the students were
33:10implicit they were never spoken the
33:11teachers just treated those students as
33:13though they were really intelligent and
33:15the students bloomed and blossomed and
33:19in one of the classes a student from
33:21beginning of the year to the end of the
33:23year jumped 25 IQ points in a subsequent
33:26experiment a student jumped as much just
33:2827 IQ points which is to prove that high
33:31expectations teachers bring out
33:33intelligence in students that is
33:36completely unheard of Marva Collins the
33:38famous teacher in the uh Chicago inner
33:40city has found that if you treat
33:42students as though they're intelligent
33:43and talk to them and work with them as
33:45though they are really bright they will
33:46absolutely astonish you in terms of
33:48academic accomplishment all right this
33:50brings us to the critical role of
33:52expectations in your life first part of
33:55expectations in your life number one and
33:58where expectations affect you
33:59expectations of your parents we have
34:02found that we have a tendency as adults
34:05to try to live up to or down
34:08to the expectation of our parents all
34:10our lives if our parents were strong and
34:13supportive and loving and kind and
34:14encouraging and really believes in us
34:16all our lives will will strive
34:17unconsciously to live a life consistent
34:19with those expectations if our parents
34:21were critical and condemnatory and
34:23bitched and complained and griped about
34:24our grades and so on and so forth we
34:26will find that all of our life we'll
34:28have a tendency to hold ourselves back
34:31so be alert to that what were the
34:33expectations of your parents were they
34:34positive were they negative were they
34:36boosting or were they discouraging and
34:37how much are they affecting you today
34:40second area of expectations is the
34:42expectations of your boss in all of our
34:45studies we have found especially in the
34:48studies on excellence in organizations
34:50we have found that high expectations
34:52bosses have high performance work
34:54environments now if you work for a boss
34:55who's negative critical and condemn the
34:58if you work for a boss that has negative
35:00expectations or a negative attitude
35:01chances are your performance will be at
35:03the very lowest as a matter of fact if
35:05you look at the course of your working
35:06career you'll find that the times of
35:08your life that you've enjoyed the most
35:10is working under a boss that has high
35:13positive expectations of you and your
35:15ability isn't that correct the third
35:18area of expectations is the expectations
35:20you have of others especially of your
35:24children especially of your spouse or
35:27your mate especially of your
35:29subordinates or the people who look up
35:31to you you see we have are profoundly
35:34affected by the opinions of anybody we
35:36Respect by the attitudes toward us of
35:38anybody we respect and if you have high
35:41positive expectations of the people
35:43around you especially your children they
35:45will rise to fulfill those expectations
35:48so the basic rule with regard to this is
35:50always expect good things of other
35:52people in word and deed tell them
35:54continually I believe in you and number
35:57four core area of expectations is the
35:59expectations you have of yourself in the
36:01final analysis these are the most
36:04powerful if you have high positive
36:06expectations of yourself you'll be
36:08astonished at what it will mean to your
36:09life always expect the best always
36:12expect the best and here's a little
36:14exercise which
36:16I learned from one of my graduates one
36:19of our live seminars he found that by
36:21starting off every day with this simple
36:23little exercise and saying to himself I
36:26believe something wonderful is going to
36:28happen to me today I believe something
36:30wonderful is going to happen to me today
36:33I believe something wonderful is going
36:35to happen to me today that this little
36:38exercise changed his whole attitude that
36:39he went through the whole day with the
36:41attitude of somebody with a confident
36:49self-expand you know that if you will do
36:51this if you will say before you go to
36:52sleep I believe something wonderful is
36:54going to happen to me tomorrow and if
36:56you'll say when you get up in the
36:57morning
36:58I believe something wonderful is going
36:59to happen to me today and if all day
37:01long you say I believe something
37:02wonderful is going to happen to me
37:03you'll find that as you go to sleep the
37:05next night and try this today it's a
37:07very powerful ex sounds a little bit
37:09corny but it's a very powerful exercise
37:11if you'll try it you'll find that when
37:13you go to sleep you will not be able to
37:15think of all the wonderful things that
37:17happened to you you'll just be surprised
37:19that that your parking spaces will open
37:21up and friends will call and you get
37:23checks in the mail just your life will
37:24be a series of really positive happiness
37:27experiences so always expect the best I
37:30believe something wonderful is going to
37:31happen to me today and by the
37:32inexorability of a law of nature it's
37:34going to happen to you I can assure you
37:36it's happened to thousands and thousands
37:38and thousands of our graduates who will
37:39literally astonish you the effect of
37:42this corny little exercise all right the
37:44next law is what is called The Law of
37:46Attraction now the Law of Attraction
37:49simply says that you are a living
37:53magnet you are a living
37:56magnet and that you inevitably attract
37:58into your life the people and
38:00circumstances that are in harmony with
38:02your dominant thoughts in the universe
38:05we know that all of energy is in a state
38:07of vibration that everything is
38:10vibrating even this board is vibrating
38:12your your skin is vibrating every
38:14substance is vibrating because of its
38:15molecular structure and we also know
38:17this is a law of radiation that
38:19everything is vibrating outward the
38:22process of entropy and we find that
38:24whatever you are thinking your thoughts
38:26are also a form of energy that is
38:29vibrating and radiating out from you and
38:32that travels at the speed of light so
38:34that you can affect people in
38:35circumstances at Great distances have
38:37you ever had an experience where you're
38:38thinking about somebody and the
38:39telephone rings and it's them have you
38:41ever had an experience where you phone
38:42somebody else and they say we were just
38:44talking about you it just leaps into
38:46your mind have you ever had an
38:47experience when you're in tune with your
38:48husband or wife and you think you know
38:50I'd like to go out to dinner at such and
38:52such a place tonight and you call home
38:54and they will say why don't we go to
38:55dinner at such and such a place these
38:56are all examples of this Law of
38:58Attraction the law of attraction is
39:00considered by many to be one of the most
39:02important laws of human existence in
39:04this you will always attract to yourself
39:08positive or negative people and
39:10circumstances that harmonize with your
39:13dominant thoughts that whatever you're
39:15thinking on a continuing basis you're
39:17attracting into your life you're drawing
39:19it into your life like a magnet that's
39:21why it's so important that you keep your
39:23thoughts on what you want keep your
39:25thoughts on what you desire and keep
39:26your thoughts off of what you don't want
39:28and by the way as you advance and
39:30develop and become more proficient and
39:32more sharp with these methods The Law of
39:35Attraction will work faster for you and
39:36with greater accuracy so so be careful
39:39use it uh right the last law we'll talk
39:42about in this session is called the law
39:43of
39:44Correspondence the law of
39:48Correspondence is a law that says and
39:51it's quoted by Jesus as within so
39:54without as within so without
39:59and what it simply means is this it
40:01means that your outer world is a mirror
40:04and that's the probably the best word
40:05your outer world is a mirror and it
40:07simply reflects back to you what is
40:10going on in your inner world that your
40:13outer world is the result of your inner
40:16world that what is going on within
40:17determines what is going on without that
40:20if you want to change your outer world
40:22you have to change your inner world now
40:25that means that you can look at your
40:26words you can look at your level of
40:27Health what is going on in terms of your
40:30physical health is largely determined by
40:32what is going on in in your mind what is
40:34going on in your relationships is the
40:36most perfect example because you find
40:38that when you are feeling good inside
40:40your relationships go smoothly when
40:41you're feeling negative or stressed
40:43inside your relationships go poorly your
40:45relationships are the mirror image
40:47reflection of the quality of your own
40:50personality you can tell how healthy
40:51your personality is by looking at the
40:53relationships around you your wealth is
40:56a very important thing the level of
40:58financial wealth the level of comfort
41:00that you have is a direct relationship
41:02of what you have put into your mind in
41:04terms of thought and preparation for
41:08achieving wealth and affluence if you
41:10wish to be more successful on the
41:12outside you have to be more successful
41:13on the inside and the more you go to
41:15work on the inside which is the only
41:17part of your whole life that you can
41:19control the more you go to work on the
41:21inside the more rapidly your external
41:24World changes the big mistake in life
41:26and the reason why most people are
41:27unhappy is why it's because most people
41:30try to change the external World which
41:31they cannot control and they leave the
41:33internal World messy it' be the same as
41:36trying to make an automobile run better
41:38by washing the outside of it polishing
41:40the outside of it and changing the tires
41:42no you got to go to work on the inside
41:44workings as you change your mind as you
41:47change what is going on inside you
41:49change what is going on outside now many
41:52years ago Earl Nightingale a great
41:55success philosopher woke up and in the
41:57middle of the night with a quotation
41:59which changed his life and changed the
42:01lives of millions of others which sort
42:03of tacks on to all of these laws that
42:05we're talking about and was simply this
42:07is you become what you think about you
42:10become what you think about and since
42:12the only thing that you can control is
42:15your thinking if you change what you are
42:17thinking
42:20about you will begin to change your
42:22reality if you change what you expect
42:24you change what you believe you change
42:25your dominant thoughts you change your
42:27inner workings you begin to attract into
42:29your life people circumstances events
42:31opportunities and everything consistent
42:33with your new thoughts the reason people
42:35are unsuccessful as they think thoughts
42:36of unsuccess or
42:38failure another line which is very very
42:41important says that all causation is
42:43mental we live in a mental Universe all
42:46causation is mental if you wish to
42:49change your Universe you have to change
42:51your mentality and this brings us to the
42:53most important line of all which is
42:55simply this and let me write it over
42:56here
42:57if you change your
43:00thinking change your
43:04thinking
43:05and you change your
43:12life change your thinking and you change
43:15your
43:16life now over the course of years you
43:19have accumulated and gathered enormous
43:21amount of information you've accumulated
43:22and gathered an enormous number of
43:24experiences some of them positive some
43:26of them negative every single one of
43:27them is stored away every single one of
43:29them is having an effect on what is
43:32happening to you right now in the New
43:35Testament Jesus had a beautiful line
43:37which I refer to and I think about it
43:38all the time he said by their fruits you
43:40shall know them and what it simply meant
43:43was that you can tell what is going on
43:45inside the person what the fundamental
43:47character and thought life of a person
43:49is by looking at the fruits of their
43:52external Life by looking at their health
43:53looking at their relationships looking
43:55at their levels of success if you change
43:57your thinking you change your life and
43:59as we proceed through this course we're
44:01going to show you systematically how you
44:03can change your thinking and bring it
44:05into perfect correlation inside with a
44:08type of successful happy
44:10Dynamic vital living successful life
44:15that you desire on the
44:25outside session three unlocking your
44:28potential when we talk about human
44:30potential have you ever wondered what
44:31accounts for the huge disparity in
44:34results and performance between one
44:36person and another you know a person
44:37who's making $250,000 a year is not 10
44:41times smarter or better than a person
44:43who's making $25,000 a year why is there
44:4610 times the difference in income and
44:48you go all the way up the ladder the
44:49person who's making $ 2.5 million a year
44:52is that person a hundred times better
44:54smarter than a person making 25,000 a
44:56year
44:57impossible in a recent study of IQs they
45:00picked a thousand men and women out of
45:02the population and tested them for IQ
45:04they found that the top person in that
45:06thousand selection was only two and one
45:09half times smarter than the bottom
45:12person in that selection of IQs only two
45:14and a half times the disparity and
45:16that's probably true over the whole
45:18population so what accounts for this
45:20great difference well we talk about
45:22human potential we come down to a very
45:24simple formula that I came up with some
45:26years ago that probably explains it a
45:28little bit the formula starts off with
45:31what we call IIA which is inborn
45:33attributes that's the qualities the
45:35intelligence the ability the temperament
45:37the things that you're born with that
45:39you can't really change very much plus
45:42acquired attributes now acquired
45:44attributes are very important those are
45:46your education your training your skill
45:49your experience knowledge wisdom and so
45:51on multiplied times a which is your
45:55attitude equals indiv idual human
45:58potential or individual Human
46:00Performance or individual human results
46:02if you like now of these three inborn
46:04attributes are largely fixed at Birth
46:06acquired attributes can be changed but
46:08it takes a while to change them although
46:10sometimes they can be changed very
46:11rapidly one valuable piece of
46:13information can dramatically change your
46:14Effectiveness but attitudes can be
46:17increased or decreased dramatically in
46:20seconds that every single time we
46:23improve our attitude we multiply all our
46:25capabilities so that attitude has been
46:28rightly called the most important
46:29language in the human or the most
46:31important word in the human language
46:33everything that we do in life according
46:35to a Harvard study amongst executive
46:37recruiters will be 85% attitudinal 85%
46:42of your success will beer be determined
46:44by your attitude that means determined
46:45by how positive or how much of a
46:47positive mental attitude you have people
46:50with positive mental attitudes tend to
46:52advance more rapidly move to the top of
46:54valuable organizations earn more money
46:56get more life satisfaction and so on now
46:58a positive mental attitude doesn't mean
46:59that you dance around in the street and
47:01and throw flowers it just means that you
47:03take a generally
47:05constructive attitude or approach
47:07towards your work your life your
47:09problems your relationships and so on
47:11but according to the Cox reports on
47:13American Business according to Success
47:15magazine 85% or more of everything that
47:18you accomplish will be attitudinal so
47:20our question is where do attitudes come
47:22from and we found that attitudes come
47:23from
47:25expectations very very simple we talked
47:27about that before and a very powerful
47:29way to instantaneously improve your
47:31attitude is to say to yourself I I
47:34believe something wonderful is going to
47:36happen to me today as we said before our
47:38expectations about outcomes determines
47:41our attitude in other words if you
47:42expect things to turn out well you're
47:44going to have a positive attitude if you
47:45expect things to turn out negatively
47:46you're going to have a negative attitude
47:47and the wonderful thing is you can
47:48manufacture your own expectations I mean
47:50you can expect whatever you want you can
47:52expect good things you can expect
47:53negative things and chances are you
47:55won't be disappointed where where do our
47:57expectations come from our expectations
47:59come from our
48:01beliefs if you like and our values these
48:04are the core or the central motivating
48:07factors in our personality our beliefs
48:09and values and this brings us to an
48:11understanding of human potential it
48:13means that basically our attitude is the
48:15outward expression of what is going on
48:18internally consistent with the mental
48:20laws that we talked about and with
48:22regard to beliefs each of us has a
48:24bundle of beliefs way down deep inside
48:26which psychologists call the
48:28self-concept now the self-concept or the
48:31discovery of it has been considered by
48:32many to be the most important single
48:35breakthrough in understanding human
48:36performance in the 20th century and I
48:39personally agree the self-concept is
48:41like if you wanted to use a military
48:43analogy is the command center or if you
48:46wanted to use a
48:47technological analogy it is the central
48:50program of your basic computer it is a
48:53bundle of beliefs values attitudes
48:55feelings ideas
48:57and so on which are stored away down
48:59inside which are a result of virtually
49:01every experience you've ever had in your
49:03life and some researchers say that the
49:06self-concept begins to form even before
49:08birth but this self-concept once it is
49:11in place precedes predicts and
49:13determines your levels of Effectiveness
49:15and performance in every area of your
49:17life your self-concept becomes the
49:19command Pro Center or the master program
49:23the self-concept or this bundle of
49:24beliefs then determines what you will
49:26say what you will do how you will act
49:27how you feel and react and so on what
49:29does it mean it means that all
49:31improvements in your external life all
49:33changes in your reality begin with a
49:36change in the self-concept let me give
49:38you an understanding of how it means
49:40here's here's a very simple graph we
49:42talk about human potential we say the
49:44average person uses 10% or less of their
49:46potential according to the research is
49:48probably much less Stanford brain
49:50Institute in Santa Clara California
49:53estimates that it's probably closer to
49:542% but we'll be generous say the average
49:57person is using 10% it means that in the
49:59best of
50:01cases the average person you and I have
50:0490% of our potential untapped one of the
50:07great philosophers Oliver Wendel Holmes
50:09said the great tragedy of the average
50:10person is they go to their grave with
50:12their music still in them they're still
50:14functioning on far far less of their
50:16potential so this is human potential we
50:19find there's a direct relationship
50:20between human potential and the
50:21self-concept that since our
50:23self-concepts or our estimates of
50:25ourselves if you like are usually far
50:27lower than they need to be our level of
50:30performance and Effectiveness is far
50:31lower too and we know that our
50:33self-concept is largely subjective what
50:35does that mean it means that the
50:36self-concept what we believe to be true
50:38about ourselves is really not based in
50:41reality it's based on information that
50:42we've taken in we accept it as true and
50:44to the degree to which you believe
50:46anything about yourself it becomes true
50:48for you because you act in a manner
50:50consistent with it you know there's some
50:51people who read their horoscopes and
50:52believe that their horoscopes are
50:53predicting their future there's some
50:55people who will take criticism and
50:56condemnation from other people that they
50:58don't even respect and believe that that
51:00is an adequate or accurate reflection of
51:02their own abilities but whatever you
51:03believe whatever you accept as true
51:06becomes true for you now we also know
51:08that as an adult you have a variety of
51:10self-concepts you have a self-concept
51:12for how you dress how much you weigh how
51:15much you eat how well you speak in
51:17public what kind of a parent you are
51:19what kind of a child you are to your
51:20parents what kind of a husband or wife
51:22you are what kind of a lover what kind
51:24of a driver interesting about driving
51:28all men have a very positive
51:29self-concept with regard to driving
51:31women don't understand this but all men
51:33are born with an inherent genius at
51:37driving that men are all great drivers
51:39and if you don't believe it all you have
51:40to do ladies who are watching this all
51:42you have to do is think about the last
51:44time you tried to correct a man's
51:45driving you'll find it is not well
51:47responded to how do we respond when
51:50somebody challenges our self concept by
51:52suggesting that we are not the person we
51:54think we are we become defensive we
51:56become angry we become irritable we
51:58become uh difficult to get along with we
52:01have a self-concept for how creative we
52:02are how intelligent how fast we read how
52:05good we are at Athletics and if you
52:06practice a variety of different sports
52:08you have a self-concept for every one of
52:10those Sports we have a self-concept for
52:12how well we cook how well we raise our
52:13children how well we clean our home what
52:16kind of cars we drive and so on we also
52:18have a self-concept for what it's worth
52:19for how much money we earns interesting
52:21enough you can never earn more than 10%
52:24above or below your self-concept level
52:25of income that your self-concept
52:28determines your income level this
52:29self-concept is level is called your
52:31comfort zone and even if you want more
52:34money you will find that the natural
52:36human tendency of all action is to
52:38struggle and strive to get into a
52:40comfort zone and then to stay there that
52:43if you earn 10% or more above your
52:45self-concept level of income you will
52:47have an irresistible urge to get rid of
52:49the money you'll give it away you'll
52:50spend it you'll blow it you'll spend it
52:52extravagantly you'll even lose it if you
52:54get enough that's why people who win
52:55lotteries are often flat broke 2 or 3
52:58years later they just burn the money
53:00because the money is far beyond their
53:01self-concept if you go 10% or more below
53:04your self-concept level of income you
53:06find yourself scrambling you work harder
53:07you work longer you think more
53:09creatively you look at different ways to
53:11increase your income or or second income
53:13opportunities the only way to improve
53:15any part of your life including your
53:16income is to raise your self-concept
53:19level of income by beginning to think
53:20about yourself continually in terms of
53:23earning more money if you want to lose
53:24weight the only way you can lose weight
53:25is what is to think thin by beginning to
53:28think of yourself as a thinner person if
53:30you want to become a more popular a more
53:32loving a happier person a healthier
53:34person you have to begin to think over
53:37and over about those things until they
53:39become part of your new self-concept and
53:41we'll talk about that a little bit later
53:42it's an essential part of programming
53:44your mind for Success your overall
53:46self-concept is determined by the
53:48average of your self-concepts and all
53:50the areas that you consider important
53:52now your self-concept is made up of
53:54three critical Parts the first first
53:56part of the self-concept is the self
53:58ideal the self ideal is the person you
54:01would most like to be it is your idea of
54:04what constitutes a winner it is your
54:07vision or your mission or your ideal of
54:09the very best you that you can be now
54:13one of the things that we know about
54:14successful people is this is successful
54:16people have very clear self ideals they
54:19have very clear ideas of who they want
54:20to be in the future unsuccessful people
54:22have very vague ideals number two is
54:25your self-image your
54:27self-image is a picture of the way you
54:30is the way you see yourself and the way
54:32you think about yourself your self-image
54:34the inner mirror is how you perceive
54:37yourself now and determines your current
54:40performance on a day-to-day basis the
54:42third part is your self-esteem now your
54:44self-esteem is how you feel about
54:46yourself how you feel about yourself is
54:49the engine Force it's the motor it's the
54:51power force within your subconscious
54:54it's the power force within the selfcon
54:56concept and it determines virtually
54:58everything that happens to you the best
55:00definition of self-esteem is how much
55:02you like yourself how much you like
55:04yourself as a parent how much you like
55:06yourself as an employee how much you
55:07like yourself as a boss how much you
55:09like yourself as a money earner a
55:11professional speaker an athlete and so
55:13on how much you like yourself your level
55:16of self-esteem your overall emotional
55:19feeling about any area of your life
55:21determines your performance and
55:22Effectiveness in that area wonderfully
55:25enough since you become what you think
55:26about your self-concept is malleable
55:29your self-esteem can be built by
55:31repeating over and over again I like
55:34myself I like myself I like myself I
55:39like myself I like myself I like myself
55:42the more you say I like myself I like
55:44myself I like myself the more you repeat
55:46that over and over again the more your
55:48self-esteem goes up the more your
55:49self-esteem goes up the more your
55:50overall self-concept goes up when your
55:52overall self-concept goes up you perform
55:54better at everything else that you
55:56attempt that every single time you say I
55:58like myself I like myself I like myself
56:00I like myself I like myself it's like
56:02pumping yourself up psychologically
56:03everything that happens that causes your
56:05self-esteem to go up causes you to
56:06perform better everything that happens
56:08that causes your self-esteem to go down
56:10causes you to perform worse make more
56:11mistakes be unhappier and so on now
56:14critical point about liking yourself
56:16about self-esteem and self-liking is
56:19that number one is you can never like or
56:21love anybody else more than you like or
56:24love yourself that your level of self
56:26esteem is the determinant of the quality
56:28of the relationships you have with
56:30others and number two is you can never
56:31expect anybody else to like or respect
56:34you more than you like or respect
56:35yourself that how much you like and
56:37respect yourself determines their
56:38attitudes toward you every single School
56:41of Psychology today is coming to
56:44agreement on the fact that how much you
56:46genuinely like and accept yourself as a
56:48valuable and worthwhile human being has
56:51an effect on everything that happens to
56:53you how much you'll like yourself and
56:55what you can do is you can can improve
56:56your self-esteem but then I like myself
56:58I like myself I like myself I like
57:00myself I like myself well this brings us
57:01to the question a word is self-esteem
57:04where does the self-concept come from
57:06and we found that self-concept if
57:08anything self-concept is malleable in
57:11that you are not born with a
57:12self-concept is that you're not born
57:14with any idea of yourself you're not
57:15born with self-image or self-esteem that
57:18you're born in a way as pure potential
57:21it's probably the best way to put it the
57:22average person comes into the world as
57:24pure potential and has no self concept
57:27that everything you are today every
57:28feeling that you have every attitude or
57:30value you had to learn over the course
57:33of your lifetime we also know that the
57:35child comes into the world with a very
57:36high need for love and touching and a
57:39tremendous amount of Research indicates
57:41that we need a lot of love and touching
57:43all of our lives but especially in our
57:45formative years because as a child we
57:47learn who we are how valuable we are
57:50whether we're important intelligent
57:52attractive lovable uh funny we learn all
57:55of the these things by the way our
57:57parents treat us if our parents our
57:59siblings our aunts and uncles but
58:01especially our parents treat us like
58:02we're really important kids then we grow
58:04up thinking that we're really important
58:06if our parents do not then something
58:07else happens we know that the first few
58:10years of life are the most important in
58:12developing the self-concept that a child
58:14starts off at zero when the child is
58:16born with no idea of who she is or who
58:19he is or how valuable they are and in
58:21the first second third fourth and fifth
58:24years of life you psychologist used to
58:27think it was 5 years but now they're
58:28saying it's 3 years in these first three
58:30years of life children learn who they
58:32are they say if you give enough high
58:35quality and quantity of love to a child
58:37in the first 3 to 5 years you set them
58:41up for life you set them up on a solid
58:43foundation of self-esteem
58:44self-confidence self-worth self- value
58:47as a matter of fact there's a direct
58:48relationship between the quality and
58:50quantity of love and the development of
58:52healthy personality that the more love
58:56conditional love that a child receives
58:57in those formative years the stronger is
58:59the foundation of the personality to
59:02reverse the equation that virtually all
59:04problems in psychosis Neurosis
59:07personality disturbances uh and behavior
59:10problems arise from problems way down in
59:14the self-concept and we can go back as
59:16adults here's our adult personality we
59:18can go back as adults we can correct the
59:20flaws in our foundation the cracks if
59:23you like by repeating over and over
59:25again I like myself I like myself I like
59:27myself and driving down that healing
59:29concrete deep into the foundation of our
59:32personality remember children need love
59:35like roses need rain children that are
59:37deprived of Love often die of Love
59:40starvation it's a disease called
59:42marasmus now what else do we know about
59:44children we know that children come into
59:45the world with two remarkable attributes
59:48the first is that they're Fearless
59:50children are born with no fears they're
59:51not afraid of anything except falling
59:53and loud noises and this is expressed in
59:55the attitude I can children come into
59:59the world believing they can do anything
1:00:01and anybody's ever raised a child to the
1:00:02age of three or four or five knows you
1:00:04have to spend those first few years
1:00:06stopping them from killing themselves
1:00:07because they're little kamakazi Pilots
1:00:09because they're not afraid of anything
1:00:11the second attribute is they come into
1:00:12the world completely spontaneous they
1:00:15say what they want they do what they
1:00:16want they are completely uninhibited
1:00:20they just are completely unafraid they
1:00:22do anything that they want and this is
1:00:23expressed in the attitude I don't have
1:00:25to
1:00:26I don't have to if you ever try to
1:00:29control a child you'll find that the
1:00:31attitude of a chunk child the first
1:00:33thing they say is when you start giving
1:00:34them ERS the first thing they learn is
1:00:35no they say no I don't have to well of
1:00:39course we eventually uh change their
1:00:42minds on that one way or another but
1:00:44these are the two attributes that each
1:00:45of us come into the world with you come
1:00:46into the world unafraid and uninhibited
1:00:49what does that mean it means that our
1:00:51natural Birthright is to be unafraid and
1:00:54uninhibited and that only when we can
1:00:57create the same situation in adult life
1:00:59where we are unafraid and
1:01:02uninhibited do we feel truly great about
1:01:06ourselves the very best organizations
1:01:08the very best companies are those that
1:01:09create an environment where people who
1:01:11feel unafraid and unreserved to be
1:01:14themselves and to do the very best they
1:01:16can well as we grow up we know that
1:01:19children learn two ways the first way
1:01:21they learn is by
1:01:22imitation they imitate one or both
1:01:25parents especially the dominant parent
1:01:28and sometimes the parent dominant parent
1:01:29will change as the child is growing up
1:01:31sometimes children will imitate the
1:01:32father sometimes the mother but they
1:01:34learn by imitation many of the
1:01:36characteristics and habits that we have
1:01:38as adults we learn from our parents if
1:01:40you ever had a CH the opportunity or the
1:01:42occasion to scream at one of your
1:01:43children or shout at one of them and
1:01:45find yourself saying the same things
1:01:46your mother or father sent to you said
1:01:47to you when you were a child well we
1:01:50imitate sometimes we imitate their walk
1:01:52sometimes we imitate their talk
1:01:53sometimes we imitate their values their
1:01:54beliefs and so on even if those values
1:01:56and beliefs are of no value why it's
1:01:59because our parents are like Gods to us
1:02:01when we're children the second way that
1:02:02we learn is by moving from
1:02:05discomfort from what doesn't feel good
1:02:07toward Comfort now Freud called this the
1:02:11Pleasure Principle is that we move
1:02:13toward what makes us feel comfortable
1:02:15what gives us pleasure what makes us
1:02:17feel good about ourselves we move from
1:02:20discomfort toward Comfort that's how we
1:02:22learn to become toilet trained we say
1:02:25it's no that it's no longer fun to walk
1:02:28around with pee and poop in our diapers
1:02:30so we watch what our parents do we watch
1:02:32what our older siblings do and we see a
1:02:34those people aren't uh doing this and
1:02:36that's how we learn to walk that's how
1:02:37we learn everything so we move from
1:02:38discomfort toward Comfort throughout our
1:02:41lives by the way that's how we learn we
1:02:43imitate by reading what other people
1:02:45have done by studying books by at our
1:02:47work we imitate when we go to school and
1:02:49we do what gives us a positive payoff
1:02:51what gives us positive reinforcement
1:02:53what gives us pleasure and we do less of
1:02:55those things that give us discomfort or
1:02:58pain now very early in life as a mistake
1:03:01or as as as the result of mistakes that
1:03:03parents make an upbringing children
1:03:05begin to learn negative habit patterns
1:03:08and negative habit patterns have their
1:03:09root primarily in destructive criticism
1:03:13destructive
1:03:14criticism begins very early in life
1:03:17sometimes in the first few months and
1:03:19destructive criticism is used by parents
1:03:22to direct and control their children
1:03:26unfortunately it has a very very
1:03:30dangerous and damaging effect on
1:03:32children in that destructive criticism
1:03:34begins to undermine the Integrity of the
1:03:36child's personality and more of us
1:03:39including myself and including most of
1:03:41you have been undermined and hurt by
1:03:43destructive criticism probably more than
1:03:45all the war wars in history now as a
1:03:48result of destructive criticism we begin
1:03:51to develop negative habit patterns
1:03:53negative habit patterns are conditioned
1:03:55responses to stimuli negative habit
1:03:57patterns develop very very early in life
1:04:00they're developed as a result of a
1:04:02repetition of fear and pain over and
1:04:06over again they're developed as the
1:04:07result of destructive criticism physical
1:04:09punishment and so on very early in life
1:04:11we begin to develop two major
1:04:13manifestations which follow us
1:04:15throughout our lives and more than
1:04:17anything else inhibit our potential as
1:04:19adults the first is what is called the
1:04:21inhibitive negative habit pattern the
1:04:23inhibitive negative habit pattern
1:04:26is learned when the child is told over
1:04:28and over again don't get away from there
1:04:30stop leave that alone and the child is
1:04:32punished whenever the child tries
1:04:35something new or gets into something or
1:04:37smells something or pours something over
1:04:39or or breaks something accidentally the
1:04:41parent blows up and gets angry and upset
1:04:44you see the child is driven by an
1:04:45insatiable curiosity to explore his or
1:04:48her world and what happens is when they
1:04:50do explore it and they get into
1:04:51something they tip something over if the
1:04:53parent overreacts and spanks the child
1:04:55the child soon begins to think that
1:04:57every time I try something new every
1:04:59time I try something different every
1:05:01time I go beyond my boundaries every
1:05:03time I move out of my comfort zone every
1:05:05time I don't play it safe I get spanked
1:05:08I get punished I get hurt I get sent to
1:05:10my bedroom and I feel terrible and
1:05:12pretty soon the child develops the
1:05:13feeling of I can't I can't I can't every
1:05:18time I try something different I get
1:05:20punished I can't I can't I can't this is
1:05:24like the pavlovian response where the
1:05:26Pavo would ring the bell and feed the
1:05:28dog meat and the dog would salivate and
1:05:31Pavo would ring the bell while they feed
1:05:33fed the dog meat and the dog would
1:05:35salivate they keep doing that pretty
1:05:36soon Pavo just ring the bell and the dog
1:05:39would salivate what happens in adult
1:05:41life is that this creates what we call
1:05:42the fear of failure the fear of failure
1:05:46is a conditioned response to a process
1:05:49of destructive criticism that occurs in
1:05:51the first five or six years of life the
1:05:53fear of failure automatically triggers
1:05:55us we feel anxious tense uneasy we feel
1:05:58tension and stress in our solar plexus
1:06:01we feel like withdrawing and getting
1:06:03away from the event and the fear of
1:06:05failure is the major reason for failure
1:06:07in adult life it's the major reason why
1:06:09we hold back from fulfilling our
1:06:11potentials as a matter of fact all
1:06:13negative habit patterns are experienced
1:06:15in the physical body that you can tell a
1:06:18negative habit pattern because you
1:06:20actually feel it in your physical body
1:06:23the inhibitive negative habit pattern
1:06:24the fear of failure I can't is
1:06:26experience first of all in the solar
1:06:27plexus you ever have an occasion where
1:06:29you have to speak in front of a group or
1:06:31you have to go into an performance
1:06:33review or you have to make a cold call
1:06:35first of all the solar plexus tightens
1:06:36up if fear situation continues you start
1:06:40to breathe harder and your heart starts
1:06:42to beat faster your respiratory rate and
1:06:44sometimes you get a headache like a
1:06:45migraine headache in the front of your
1:06:47head sometimes your throat will tighten
1:06:49up and you won't be able to speak you'll
1:06:50go completely dry sometimes you'll get
1:06:52so tense and so frightened that you'll
1:06:54have to run and go to the bathroom
1:06:56these are all manifestations there's no
1:06:58physical danger but there's a
1:06:59psychological danger a conditioned
1:07:01response and whenever we feel these
1:07:02things the natural tendency is to back
1:07:04away from the situation that's causing
1:07:05them which is the reason why we don't
1:07:07achieve very much if we are held back
1:07:10the second negative habit pattern is the
1:07:12compulsive now the compulsive negative
1:07:14habit pattern is learned when children
1:07:16are told over and over again you better
1:07:17or else if you don't you're in big
1:07:19trouble now you're going to get it it's
1:07:21when children are made the recipients of
1:07:25what is is called conditional love
1:07:27parents don't mean to do this but what
1:07:29they do is they suggest to the child
1:07:31that you are not loved therefore you're
1:07:33not safe unless and until you do what we
1:07:36want the child grows up feeling that I
1:07:40have to do what Mommy wants I have to
1:07:42please Mommy I have to please Daddy I
1:07:43have to please other people I have to
1:07:45please my siblings eventually I have to
1:07:47please my peers I have to please my
1:07:49teachers I have to please everybody they
1:07:51grow up with this I have to I have to I
1:07:54have to I can't do what I want to do I
1:07:56have to do what pleases other people
1:07:58this compulsive negative habit pattern
1:08:00very early in life translates into the
1:08:02fear of rejection the fear of rejection
1:08:06is experienced by men as adults as type
1:08:09a behavior we'll talk about type a
1:08:11behavior later on in the course type a
1:08:13behavior is a a compulsive an obsessive
1:08:18compulsive need to somehow please
1:08:20somebody with no standards of
1:08:22performance so that you can never
1:08:23accomplish it the fear of rejection
1:08:25drives us it makes us very very
1:08:26sensitive to the opinions of other
1:08:28people we do things but that other
1:08:29people want we don't do things that we
1:08:31want we always trying to please others
1:08:33we have a preoccupation or a concern
1:08:36with the opinions and feelings and
1:08:37attitudes of others to the point where
1:08:39we deny our own needs now the fear of
1:08:42rejection is felt down the back half of
1:08:44the body if you divide the body in half
1:08:47it's felt right down the back half of
1:08:48the body the first place you start to
1:08:50feel the fear of rejection is usually in
1:08:52the shoulders and in the neck you start
1:08:54to feel stiff and sore and tense
1:08:57sometimes when you have a lot to do
1:08:58you'll feel tremendous stress in the
1:08:59lower back the muscles will start to
1:09:01pull in the lower back sometimes it'll
1:09:03represent you'll manifest itself in
1:09:05fitis and varicose veins very often it
1:09:08can give you very bad headaches in the
1:09:10back of the head because the koted
1:09:12arteries which carry blood up into the
1:09:14head the muscles around them constrict
1:09:16and the amount of blood flow to the Head
1:09:18slows down and you feel this pounding
1:09:20headache in the back of your head these
1:09:23two fears the compulsive or these two
1:09:26negative habit patterns the compulsive
1:09:28and the inhibitive which are the result
1:09:30of destructive criticism the great P
1:09:32destroyer of personalities plague us all
1:09:35our lives now the wonderful thing about
1:09:37these is because that they are because
1:09:39they are learned habits we can unlearn
1:09:42them we can overcome the fear of failure
1:09:44that holds us back we can overcome the
1:09:46fear of rejection that causes us to do
1:09:48things that please other people rather
1:09:50than pleasing ourselves by working on
1:09:52our own self-esteem because there is an
1:09:55in relationship between self-esteem and
1:09:58the basic negative habit patterns is the
1:10:01more you like yourself the less you fear
1:10:04failure the more you like yourself the
1:10:06less you fear rejection the more you
1:10:08like yourself the less you fear anything
1:10:10and if you continue to repeat I like
1:10:12myself I like myself I like myself over
1:10:15and over again if you continue to say
1:10:17this eventually over time your
1:10:21self-esteem goes up higher and higher
1:10:24and higher and your fears go down as
1:10:26your self-esteem goes up your fears go
1:10:29in the opposite
1:10:31direction now how do you deal with
1:10:34destructive criticism if you have to
1:10:36give criticism to other people well
1:10:38that's very simple many parents have
1:10:39asked us that uh how do you control
1:10:42children one of the keys to controlling
1:10:44children is to redirect them so that
1:10:45they're doing something constructive
1:10:48versus something that is destructive
1:10:50another thing to remember is that what
1:10:53you want to do is you want to give
1:10:54information criticism or constructive
1:10:57criticism which means that you tell
1:10:59children what they can do or adults what
1:11:01they can do to be better remember the
1:11:03whole purpose of giving feedback of any
1:11:05kind is what it's to improve performance
1:11:08if you are a parent or if you are a boss
1:11:11or if you are a person in a relationship
1:11:13if a person is doing something wrong or
1:11:14inappropriate the whole purpose in in
1:11:16giving them any kind of feedback at all
1:11:18is so that they'll do it better next
1:11:19time however there's a direct
1:11:21relationship between self-esteem and
1:11:23destructive criticism every time you
1:11:25criticize a person their self-esteem
1:11:27goes down every time their self-esteem
1:11:29goes down their ability to perform goes
1:11:31down too if you destructively criticize
1:11:33a person often enough long enough and
1:11:35hard enough they get reach the point
1:11:37where they won't try anything at all
1:11:39they become what we call hypers
1:11:41sensitive and a hyper sensitive adult is
1:11:44a person who cannot take criticism from
1:11:46anybody a hyper sensitive adult is a
1:11:47person who is very very tense and
1:11:49anxious if you even suggest that they're
1:11:51not doing the right thing if you have to
1:11:53deal with a hyper sensitive adult the
1:11:54key is to sit them down and remember
1:11:56four things number one always begin with
1:11:58praise number two is protect the
1:12:02person's self-esteem at all costs number
1:12:04three is discuss the performance not the
1:12:07person talk about the behavior rather
1:12:09than the person and number four is is it
1:12:13number four number four is to focus on
1:12:17the future versus the past focus on what
1:12:20is going to be done differently in the
1:12:22future or rather than what has happened
1:12:24in the past why is that very simple
1:12:26reason is because a person cannot
1:12:28control the past not being able to
1:12:29control the past any criticism over what
1:12:31they've done in the past causes them
1:12:33tremendous stress and frustration so let
1:12:35me summarize the key to success in life
1:12:37is a positive mental attitude a positive
1:12:39mental attitude is based on expectations
1:12:42of success of a positive set of
1:12:45expectancies positive set of
1:12:47expectancies is based on beliefs and
1:12:48your self-concept the core of your
1:12:50self-concept which determines your
1:12:52Effectiveness in life is your
1:12:54self-esteem and your self-esteem is
1:12:56measured by how much you like yourself
1:12:58the two things that hold us back more
1:12:59than anything else are the fears of
1:13:01failure and the fears of rejection so
1:13:03one of the core secrets of success is
1:13:06this is become a Perpetual self-esteem
1:13:09generating organism continually be doing
1:13:12things for yourself to yourself in your
1:13:15life that cause you to like yourself to
1:13:18love yourself to accept yourself to
1:13:21respect yourself it caus you to feel
1:13:22terrific about yourself if if you're a
1:13:25boss or a parent remember that the key
1:13:28to Peak Performance in your home and in
1:13:31your workplace is to make people feel
1:13:33terrific about themselves and the more
1:13:35terrific you feel about yourself the
1:13:37more you like yourself the more likely
1:13:39it is that you make the people around
1:13:40you like love accept and respect
1:13:43themselves and you'll create a Peak
1:13:45Performance environment it is the
1:13:47starting point to great success and
1:13:49achievement in life so say over and over
1:13:52to yourself I like myself I like myself
1:13:55myself I like myself I like
1:14:00myself session four your subconscious
1:14:02Powerhouse in order to unlock your full
1:14:05potential it's absolutely essential that
1:14:06you understand the relationship between
1:14:08the conscious and the subconscious mind
1:14:11there know thousands of books have been
1:14:12written on this subject there's
1:14:13tremendous complexities there's
1:14:15references to the conscious and the
1:14:16subconscious especially the subconscious
1:14:18throughout all of human history the
1:14:20subconscious is often called the
1:14:22PowerHouse of your being and we're going
1:14:23to talk about how you fect the
1:14:25subconscious more as we go through this
1:14:27program but let's start off talking
1:14:29about the relationship between the two
1:14:31minds and what you can do to begin
1:14:33controlling and changing the programming
1:14:36within the
1:14:38subconscious the conscious and the
1:14:40subconscious minds are very beautifully
1:14:43designed by a master master designer if
1:14:45you know what I mean in that they have
1:14:47very separate functions and they work
1:14:50perfectly in tandem with each other
1:14:52probably a good way to illustrate it is
1:14:54say to say this is is the conscious mind
1:14:56and this is the subconscious mind
1:14:59actually the conscious mind does about
1:15:0110% of your thinking it's responsible
1:15:04for about 10% of your conscious
1:15:05awareness and the subconscious mind is
1:15:08at least 90% or more when we talk about
1:15:10human potential and unlocking human
1:15:12potential we mean unlocking the vast
1:15:14capacity or power of the subconscious so
1:15:17what does the conscious mind do well the
1:15:19conscious mind has certain specific
1:15:20functions first of all the conscious
1:15:22mind is objective the conscious mind can
1:15:25look at the world clearly if you like
1:15:27with Clarity and think about it
1:15:29analytically objective by meaning
1:15:31without emotion second of all the
1:15:34objective mind or the sub the conscious
1:15:36mind is rational and it is also
1:15:42discriminating these are three of the
1:15:44qualities in other words it can discern
1:15:46the differences between truth and
1:15:47falsehood it can analyze it is sort of
1:15:49like the mathematical or unemotional
1:15:51part of the brain the conscious mind has
1:15:55four major functions the first function
1:15:57is that the conscious mind identifies
1:16:00incoming data now incoming data can come
1:16:03from a variety of different sources it
1:16:05can be thoughts that you have or it can
1:16:07be things that are happening to you in
1:16:09the external world so let us say you're
1:16:11walking across the street this is your
1:16:13mind you're walking across the street
1:16:15and you hear the Roar of an automobile
1:16:16engine your eyes immediately turn to the
1:16:19right to see what the sound is and to
1:16:21identify what is that sound when you see
1:16:23the automobile you identify you attach
1:16:25the sound to the car the second thing
1:16:28that the conscious mind does is it
1:16:32Compares that moving automobile to all
1:16:34other moving Automobiles of your
1:16:36experience now if you live in a big city
1:16:38like New York when you see a car and you
1:16:40compare that moving automobile with
1:16:42other cars you've seen a 100 thousand
1:16:44maybe a million Cars Moving and your
1:16:46reflexes are very very sharp if you live
1:16:48in a country that doesn't have very many
1:16:49automobiles chances are when you see a
1:16:51moving vehicle your reflexes will be
1:16:53very very slow the comparison is done by
1:16:56if you like making a quick inspection
1:16:58into the subconscious and checking every
1:17:00single previous experience that you've
1:17:02had with moving cars as that is done as
1:17:05the comparison is done you
1:17:07instantaneously get a response back as a
1:17:09matter of fact it is said that the
1:17:10subconscious functions at about 30,000
1:17:13times the speed of the conscious mind
1:17:16and that you can just have one glance he
1:17:18one noise or think one thought in the
1:17:21conscious mind and you can instantly
1:17:23trigger a reaction that might take an
1:17:25enormous amount hours and hours of
1:17:27evaluation if you were to do it
1:17:29consciously the third thing the third
1:17:31function of the conscious mind is that
1:17:33it analyzes once it has a response back
1:17:37in its comparison it analyzes the
1:17:39situation you're walking across the
1:17:41street you hear the sound of the
1:17:42automobile engine you turn eyes right
1:17:44you see the car moving down at you your
1:17:46comparison tells you that that car is
1:17:48moving at a speed of 50 m hour and it
1:17:50will be where you are in 1 second unless
1:17:52you move so you now analyze and you say
1:17:55what do I do should I move or not and if
1:17:58the answer is yes what you do is you
1:18:00move and that takes us to the fourth
1:18:02function of the conscious mind which is
1:18:04to decide the conscious mind decides
1:18:06what to do after the analysis it says
1:18:09yes or no the conscious mind functions
1:18:12like a binary computer it is always
1:18:14saying yes or no to incoming information
1:18:18and the conscious mind can only hold one
1:18:19thought at a time now this is really
1:18:22amazing as you're going to see this a
1:18:23really a brilliant structure so you're
1:18:25walking across the street you hear the
1:18:26sound you look to the right you see the
1:18:28car moving the comparison says that that
1:18:31car is moving on you the an analysis of
1:18:33the moving car says you've got to get
1:18:34out of the way so you say do I move yes
1:18:36or no answer yes do I move forward yes
1:18:38or no answer no do I move backward yes
1:18:40or no and as soon as you say yes I move
1:18:43backward and you convey this word yes to
1:18:46the subconscious mind the subconscious
1:18:48mind instantly triggers all the muscles
1:18:50all the nerves all the Senus all the
1:18:52tissues to move yourself back out of the
1:18:54way you don't have to sit there and
1:18:55think well should I move my right foot
1:18:57first should I move my left foot first
1:18:59uh all you do is send a signal to the
1:19:01conscious mind backed by a charge if you
1:19:05like or a detonation of emotion and the
1:19:07stronger the emotion the more
1:19:09instantaneously the subconscious
1:19:10responds to your command the
1:19:12subconscious is activated by emotion
1:19:16emotion of fear emotion of Desire the
1:19:19survival Instinct the love Instinct but
1:19:22it is always an emotion that triggers
1:19:24the subconscious
1:19:25okay what are some of the features of
1:19:27the subconscious mind the subconscious
1:19:28mind is like a massive Data Bank as a
1:19:31massive Data Bank the role of the
1:19:33subconscious is to store and retrieve
1:19:39data in other words the subconscious
1:19:41mind is the subjective mind in that it
1:19:45simply is the mind that obeys just as
1:19:49the conscious mind
1:19:52commands the subconscious mind obeys the
1:19:54sub conscious mind has no thought of its
1:19:56own by the way the conscious mind has no
1:19:58memory the subconscious mind is the seat
1:20:00of all memory the conscious mind
1:20:01remember could only hold one thought at
1:20:02a time whereas you can remember millions
1:20:04of facts the relationship between the
1:20:07conscious and the subconscious is the
1:20:09conscious is like a
1:20:11gardener and the subconscious is like a
1:20:13garden whatever seeds you plant in your
1:20:16subconscious mind the subconscious mind
1:20:19goes to work to grow in the subconscious
1:20:22mind you have a whole series of
1:20:25different programs the self-concept
1:20:27which contains all the information on
1:20:30all the subjects that are important to
1:20:31you and all of your previous experiences
1:20:34and responses to those situations so
1:20:36that if you have a new situation similar
1:20:38to it one of the roles of the
1:20:39subconscious is to keep your behaviors
1:20:43consistent with your previous behaviors
1:20:45so that if you've always been fearful in
1:20:46a situation you see the situation you'll
1:20:48instantaneously be fearful without
1:20:50thought if you're in a situation that
1:20:52you don't know anything about the
1:20:53natural tendency is for you to be
1:20:54neither fearful nor unfearful because
1:20:57you don't know enough until you build up
1:20:59an experience bank now this brings us to
1:21:01three critical laws three of the most
1:21:03important mental laws that we talked
1:21:04about remember we talked about how your
1:21:06whole life is determined by mental laws
1:21:08the the first of these three mental laws
1:21:10is the law of subconscious
1:21:12activity the law of subconscious
1:21:15activity
1:21:17says that whatever you plant into your
1:21:20subconscious mind it immediately goes to
1:21:22work to bring into your reality and your
1:21:24subconscious mind makes all your words
1:21:27and actions it makes all your words and
1:21:32actions fit a pattern consistent with
1:21:35your
1:21:39self-concept in other words it keeps all
1:21:41your words and actions in a pattern fit
1:21:44a pattern consistent with your
1:21:45self-concept or consistent with all
1:21:47previous
1:21:49information that you have put in also it
1:21:52keeps your words and actions consistent
1:21:54with with your dominant
1:21:56goals which eventually if you like
1:21:58become part of your self-concept so that
1:22:00means that your body language your
1:22:02attitude your level of energy your level
1:22:04of self-confidence the way you get along
1:22:05with other people your social skills
1:22:08everything is consistent with your
1:22:10self-concept the subconscious simply
1:22:12without you thinking about it at all
1:22:14keeps everything consistent with it so
1:22:16when you feel really good when your
1:22:17self-concept is positive you have a
1:22:19bounce in your step your body language
1:22:21is confidence it's courage courageous
1:22:23it's outgoing and so on and when you
1:22:25feel negative your self-concept is
1:22:26negative and you will act in the same
1:22:28manner which brings us to our second law
1:22:30the second law is the law of
1:22:33concentration actually this is the ninth
1:22:35law that we've talked about since we
1:22:36began the law of concentration is very
1:22:40very very important it's it's so
1:22:42important as a matter fact each of these
1:22:44laws is so important in their place as
1:22:46to be enough in themselves to control
1:22:49your destiny the law of concentration
1:22:51simply says this it says that whatever
1:22:53you dwell upon on grows whatever you
1:22:56dwell upon
1:22:58grows whatever you think about over and
1:23:01over
1:23:02again grows in your
1:23:05reality it's very simple I used to do a
1:23:07course on constru on creative thinking
1:23:09and the way that you explain it is you
1:23:11imagine that this is the total mental
1:23:14capacity that you have and when you send
1:23:18a thought into this it takes up this
1:23:21amount of space and all the rest of the
1:23:22mental capacity is used to
1:23:25this is your thoughts is used to think
1:23:27about all the other things in your mind
1:23:29but the more you think from the
1:23:30conscious down to the subconscious the
1:23:32more of your mental capacity is
1:23:35committed to thinking about this one
1:23:38idea until you reach a point where if
1:23:41you dwell upon something consistently
1:23:43you reach a point where you think of
1:23:44nothing else and as you think of nothing
1:23:46else you begin to set up this vibratory
1:23:49field the subconscious mind is the core
1:23:52of the Law of Attraction and the the law
1:23:54of vibration and the law of radiation
1:23:57you begin to set up this vibratory field
1:24:00that sends out thought energy from you
1:24:02consistent with what you are thinking
1:24:04about and draws back into your life
1:24:06people and circumstances in harmony with
1:24:08those thoughts so you just have to look
1:24:10around you and you have to say what are
1:24:12you thinking about all the time what are
1:24:13you dwelling on all the time and the
1:24:16basic rule with regard to the law of
1:24:17concentration is to dwell upon think
1:24:20about what you want to happen not about
1:24:24what you fear and this brings us to the
1:24:26third law in this series and that is the
1:24:29law of
1:24:31substitution now the law of substitution
1:24:33I've had many of my graduates tell me
1:24:35this has been the most important law
1:24:37they've ever learned it's a very simple
1:24:39law and it's based on a fact that the
1:24:41conscious mind can only hold one thought
1:24:43at a time positive or negative if you
1:24:47want to get rid of a negative thought
1:24:50the mind is not like a vacuum it doesn't
1:24:52stay empty if you want to get rid of a
1:24:54negative thought you have to knock it
1:24:56out if you like with a positive thought
1:24:58is that you can replace one thought with
1:25:01another you can replace one thought with
1:25:07another and if you do that consistently
1:25:11and if you replace any negative thought
1:25:14any fear thought any anxiety thought any
1:25:16self-limiting thought any negative
1:25:18expectations anything that's holding you
1:25:20back any fear of failure lack poverty
1:25:22rejection loss or anything else if you
1:25:25replace it with a desire thought and
1:25:26this is the key fear versus desire if
1:25:30you keep your mind on what you want and
1:25:32keep it off of what you don't want as
1:25:34you dwell on your desire your fears
1:25:38diminish and get smaller as you think
1:25:41about what you want eventually because
1:25:44of the law of substitution you have less
1:25:46and less time less and less emotion to
1:25:48think about what you don't want why is
1:25:51it that people are successful it's
1:25:53simply this in the Bible it says from
1:25:56them that to them that hath shall more
1:25:58be given and from him who hath not even
1:26:00that which he hath shall be taken away
1:26:02what it means is simply this the rich
1:26:04get richer the poor get poorer why it's
1:26:06because the rich think about wealth and
1:26:09affluence all the time and what do the
1:26:12poor think about the poor think about
1:26:13lack loss and limitation risk danger
1:26:17fear failure all the time so if you want
1:26:20to unlock your potential if you want to
1:26:22go straight to the Stars you have to use
1:26:24the law of substitution to keep your
1:26:26mind on what you want use the law of
1:26:29concentration to dwell continually on
1:26:31the results you desire be solution
1:26:34centered rather than problem centered be
1:26:36goal centered rather than law centered
1:26:38and the law of subconscious activity
1:26:40will begin to adjust your words your
1:26:42actions your feelings your emotions and
1:26:44everything to the point where you will
1:26:46draw into your life the people in
1:26:48circumstances that will harmonize with
1:26:49it now what's the most powerful thing
1:26:51you can do it's very simply this you is
1:26:54Success begins with taking purposeful
1:26:57systematic control of the cons content
1:27:01of your conscious mind purposeful
1:27:04systematic control of the content of
1:27:06your conscious mind everything comes
1:27:08back to the law of control as we talked
1:27:10about at the very beginning purposeful
1:27:13systematic control is best taken by
1:27:15saying over and over again I like myself
1:27:18I like myself I like myself I like
1:27:21myself when you repeat I like myself or
1:27:23better I love myself over and over again
1:27:26you drive this thought into the
1:27:28subconscious mind more and more you
1:27:30think of yourself in positive terms more
1:27:33and more you push out thoughts of
1:27:34inferiority negativity fear failure
1:27:37rejection and so on more and more you
1:27:40reprogram all previous data in your
1:27:42subconscious computer so that it is
1:27:45consistent with high self-esteem
1:27:47personal Effectiveness and excellent
1:27:49personal performance is that the key to
1:27:52your success in life is to use the power
1:27:54of your subconscious mind to program it
1:27:57with thoughts words pictures ideas and
1:27:59feelings consistent with high
1:28:01performance and keep your mind on what
1:28:03you desire and off of what you fear
1:28:05remember the only thing in the world you
1:28:06can control is your thinking the only
1:28:09thing in the world you can control are
1:28:11your conscious thoughts and if you will
1:28:12do that everything else will become
1:28:14possible for you
1:28:26[Music]
1:28:30[Applause]
1:28:36Brian Tracy
1:28:38[Music]
1:28:51presenta session five taking charge of
1:28:54your life we said in the first series of
1:28:57modules that the starting point of all
1:28:58Peak Performance is self-esteem it's how
1:29:01much you like yourself how much you love
1:29:03yourself how much you accept yourself as
1:29:05a valuable and worthwhile human being
1:29:08the second part of Peak Performance I
1:29:10think the two key requirements the
1:29:11second part is self responsibility
1:29:14self-esteem plus self- responsibility
1:29:16each reinforcing themselves and what
1:29:18self- responsibility says simply is that
1:29:20you are the architect of your own
1:29:22destiny that you are the master of your
1:29:24own fate that you are totally
1:29:27self-responsible that everything that
1:29:29you are or ever will be is up to you and
1:29:32you alone now you can believe in a
1:29:34higher power as I do and you can say
1:29:36that the higher power is responsible but
1:29:39God helps those who help themselves and
1:29:41for this Earthly life you're in charge
1:29:43of your life you're in charge of what
1:29:44happens to you if you don't like the way
1:29:46things are going it's up to you to
1:29:47change it but there's no way that you
1:29:49can ever give away responsibility and
1:29:51this whole subject of responsibility is
1:29:53one that is very controversial and as
1:29:55you see you will see as we talk in this
1:29:57session it's one that you have to
1:29:59understand with Crystal Clarity if you
1:30:01want to achieve your full potential as a
1:30:02human being now we go over here one of
1:30:06the things that we know is we start off
1:30:08as infants if you like when we're born
1:30:10I'll just write I for infant we start
1:30:12off as infants and as we grow to become
1:30:15adults at the age of 18
1:30:18years we start off with zero
1:30:21responsibility and as we grow toward
1:30:23becoming adults we gradually we gain
1:30:27responsibility more and more until by
1:30:29the time we become adults at the age of
1:30:3118 years if our parents have brought us
1:30:33up properly if they have prepared us if
1:30:35they've encouraged us to be self-reliant
1:30:37if they've encouraged us to make our own
1:30:39decisions and think for ourselves and
1:30:41plan our own lives at the age of 18
1:30:43years legally speaking psychologically
1:30:45morally mentally physically and
1:30:47everything else you are ready to take
1:30:49over your own life now if your parents
1:30:52have not prepared you as an adult for
1:30:54total responsibility it doesn't matter
1:30:57at the age of 18 and from 18 onward you
1:31:00are 100% responsible for the rest of
1:31:03your life you can never absolve yourself
1:31:04of responsibility for the rest of your
1:31:06life everything that happens to you is
1:31:08up to you totally and without
1:31:10forgiveness the the slogan of the truly
1:31:13responsible person is if it's to be if
1:31:16it's to be it's up to
1:31:19me which means as Henry Ford
1:31:22said never complain never explain never
1:31:26complain never explain what that means
1:31:29is if you don't like the way things
1:31:31are then it's up to you to change them
1:31:33and if you're not willing to take steps
1:31:35to change them then don't complain about
1:31:37them just simply accept them men who are
1:31:39men and women who are women don't
1:31:41complain about the difficulties of Life
1:31:43they just accept them as the
1:31:44difficulties of life and they either do
1:31:46something about them or they don't say
1:31:48anything so if it's to be it's up to me
1:31:50if it's to be it's up to you this is one
1:31:52of the hardest things to understand
1:31:54because when we're child children at
1:31:55this stage we're totally
1:31:57dependent and being totally dependent we
1:32:01develop if you like a habit pattern or a
1:32:03conditioned response and we look for the
1:32:05reason that things happen outside of
1:32:07ourselves as we become adults if we're
1:32:10not careful we will still retain this
1:32:13dependency and we will long for the what
1:32:15is called the pseudo security of
1:32:17childhood that time in childhood when
1:32:20someone took care of us that time in
1:32:22childhood when we were fed and clothed
1:32:24and our our our home was taken care of
1:32:26and our school and everything we didn't
1:32:28have to worry about a thing because they
1:32:30took care of it as we grow up we go out
1:32:32to school and the people at school they
1:32:35take care of things and if we're not
1:32:36careful we get into the work world and
1:32:37then again it's they it's always someone
1:32:40else outside of oursel who is ultimately
1:32:43responsible for ourselves one of the
1:32:44things which I'll talk about later is
1:32:46the whole idea of self-development most
1:32:48people because they've been taking all
1:32:49their education in the public school
1:32:51system think that it's up to them when
1:32:54they're adults to continue their
1:32:55education if nobody comes along to
1:32:57continue it they just simply don't do it
1:32:59now there's another point and that's the
1:33:01difference between maturity and
1:33:03immaturity and here's a very simple
1:33:05example imagine that this is the course
1:33:07of Life Again from infancy to adulthood
1:33:10and everybody reaches the stage sooner
1:33:12or later where they come to this great
1:33:14cliff and this great canyon and this is
1:33:17the side of immaturity this is the site
1:33:19of childhood this is the side where we
1:33:21are dependent upon others and where we
1:33:23look to others for our answers and our
1:33:24Solutions we look outside of ourselves
1:33:27at this point we come to the edge of
1:33:28this Canyon at the edge of this Canyon
1:33:31we look across into the land of maturity
1:33:33the land of adulthood and each one of us
1:33:36has to make a decision to
1:33:38jump in one great leap from being a
1:33:41child to being an adult now sometimes
1:33:43this is forced on us sometimes it
1:33:45happens in an evolutionary way but
1:33:47sooner or later we have to make the
1:33:48decision to accept the fact that we're
1:33:51in charge of our own lives we The
1:33:52Architects of our own destiny
1:33:54and then get on with it what do most
1:33:57people do unfortunately what most people
1:33:59do is they turn back at this point they
1:34:02slip into marriages where somebody will
1:34:04take care of them they take jobs where
1:34:06they expect their bosses to take care of
1:34:07them and so on or they just simply avoid
1:34:10responsibility by looking for the cause
1:34:12of everything that happens to them in
1:34:13other people and other circumstances
1:34:15it's their bills it's their health it's
1:34:17the way their parents treated them and
1:34:18so on they're not really
1:34:20responsible on the other hand sometimes
1:34:22they decide to take a little
1:34:23responsibility but not too much which is
1:34:24the equivalent of trying to leap over a
1:34:26canyon in two
1:34:28jumps and where the great vast majority
1:34:30of people end up unfortunately is in the
1:34:32valley and this is the valley of excuses
1:34:36the great majority of people spend their
1:34:37whole life life in the valley of excuses
1:34:40making excuses rather than making
1:34:43progress there's an old saying that says
1:34:45the disease of
1:34:47excusitis which is the habit of making
1:34:49excuses to to excuse away our failures
1:34:52and our inadequacy is fatal to success
1:34:55the habit of making excuses is fatal to
1:34:58your success so the question you have to
1:35:00ask yourself when we talk about
1:35:01responsibility is what excuses do you
1:35:04use not to move ahead there was an a
1:35:07very famous Story by Tolstoy where tolto
1:35:10and his brothers would play and they had
1:35:11a game and the game was that out in the
1:35:14garden there would be a box and in the
1:35:17Box was the answer to all the riddles of
1:35:19life and you could find the box under a
1:35:21certain Bush as long as you didn't think
1:35:23about a big white rabbit as long as you
1:35:26kept your mind clear of that big white
1:35:28rabbit and you didn't think about the
1:35:29rabbit you could find the answer to all
1:35:31the mysteries of life well of course
1:35:33nobody ever found the box or nobody ever
1:35:35found the answer to the mysteries of
1:35:37life because they couldn't stop thinking
1:35:39of the Big White Rabbit the question you
1:35:41have to ask yourself is what is your big
1:35:43white rabbit is what is it that you
1:35:45think of what is the excuse that looms
1:35:46into your mind whenever you think of
1:35:49something that you could do or have or
1:35:50be a new job a new challenge an
1:35:52opportunity changing something in your
1:35:53life that you're not happy with what is
1:35:55the White Rabbit what is the excuse that
1:35:57pops into your mind you say well I could
1:35:59I can't do that because or another thing
1:36:01is yes but I'd like to but there's
1:36:04always a reason I'm too young I'm too
1:36:06old I'm Too Tall I'm too short I don't
1:36:08have enough education I've got too much
1:36:10education it's the wrong time it's the
1:36:13wrong place and so on what is your White
1:36:15Rabbit what is it that sticks in the
1:36:17back of your mind that causes you to
1:36:19make excuses that causes you to hang
1:36:22back from taking respons ibility that
1:36:24keeps you in the land of childhood
1:36:26immaturity and irresponsibility very
1:36:29very important question to ask now when
1:36:31we talk about responsibility we talk
1:36:33about something else it's simply this is
1:36:36that the acceptance of responsibility is
1:36:38not optional many of us like to think
1:36:40that well you know I'll take a little
1:36:41responsibility here I'll take a little
1:36:43responsibility there no the acceptance
1:36:45of responsibility is not optional from
1:36:47the time you become 18 years
1:36:50old you are 100% responsible you have no
1:36:54choice in the matter as a matter of fact
1:36:55there are very few things in life over
1:36:57which you have no choice but you have no
1:36:58choice in this it is
1:37:01mandatory it is mandatory if you wish to
1:37:04fulfill your potential if you wish to
1:37:06become everything you're capable of
1:37:07becoming you must take full
1:37:09responsibility for bringing about the
1:37:12circumstances for making the changes for
1:37:14making the hard decisions necessary if
1:37:16you take the word responsibility you
1:37:18know you can break it into two words
1:37:21response and ability
1:37:24and one of the things which I've learned
1:37:25as I've studied history is that all of
1:37:28life is a series of challenges
1:37:30difficulties problems setbacks obstacles
1:37:33to face and the difference between the
1:37:35winners and losers in life is not the
1:37:38difference in problems because everybody
1:37:39has problems and most people and many
1:37:42people have more and bigger problems
1:37:44than you and I could ever dream of the
1:37:46difference in life the difference
1:37:47between winners and losers is the
1:37:49responses to the
1:37:51problems many years ago a man named
1:37:53oswal Spangler wrote a book in which he
1:37:55talked about what he called The
1:37:56Challenge response Theory the challenge
1:37:59response Theory simply said that
1:38:01civilizations grow and decline to the
1:38:03degree to which they meet challenges
1:38:06effectively and respond effectively a
1:38:08small Society starts out small and
1:38:11almost invariably it will be challenged
1:38:13by either an external enemy or nature or
1:38:15weather or something else if the society
1:38:18responds in a positive and constructive
1:38:20way to the challenge the society grows
1:38:23as it grows it triggers additional
1:38:25challenges difficulties if it responds
1:38:28to them effectively it grows some more
1:38:30oswal Spangler studied the 21 great
1:38:32empires of human civilization and found
1:38:34that every single one followed this
1:38:35cycle as long as the civilization
1:38:38continued to rise to the challenge it
1:38:41continued to grow stronger and stronger
1:38:43the reason why this analogy is so
1:38:44important is that we as human beings are
1:38:47exactly the same we grow to the degree
1:38:50to which we respond effectively to the
1:38:53degree to which we rise to the
1:38:54challenges without making excuses that
1:38:57life throws at us and when we look at
1:38:59the great men and women of History
1:39:00whether it's Albert schwier or Winston
1:39:02Churchill or George Washington or
1:39:04Abraham Lincoln or Franklin Del
1:39:06Roosevelt we look at those great people
1:39:08we find that they were always people
1:39:09that Rose to the challenges of the
1:39:11time if ever you wish to be capable of
1:39:15rising to Great challenges what you have
1:39:17to do is you have to start off on a
1:39:19daily basis rising to small challenges
1:39:22which means no matter what happens
1:39:23you accept the challenge you accept the
1:39:25responsibility you refuse to make
1:39:27excuses and you go forward now there's
1:39:30three areas in life in our Modern Life
1:39:33which you must be very very aware of the
1:39:35first area is the political area if you
1:39:38look around you you will find that there
1:39:39is a great drive toward the government
1:39:42doing it the government being
1:39:43responsible make the government
1:39:45responsible what people are doing is
1:39:47they want the government to be their
1:39:49parent they want the government to
1:39:51protect them and take care of them but
1:39:53is the more you vote for politicians to
1:39:55do things for you the more you give
1:39:58politicians control you see you can
1:40:01never give away responsibility you can
1:40:02only give away control how do you give
1:40:04away control you give away control in
1:40:06terms of voting for them to spend more
1:40:08of your money regulate more of your
1:40:10businesses tax away more of your income
1:40:12and so on the second area so let me just
1:40:15finish this the merge towards statism
1:40:17collectivism socialism large government
1:40:19and so on is all aimed at somehow making
1:40:22the government that faceless bunch of
1:40:24bureaucrats responsible for the
1:40:26challenges of our own lives now the
1:40:28second area where this is prevalent is
1:40:30in the criminal justice
1:40:34system in the criminal justice system
1:40:37you will find that the one
1:40:38characteristic of all criminals is that
1:40:41they refused to accept responsibility
1:40:42for their crime it was always someone
1:40:44else or something else it was always
1:40:46their childhood or the background or the
1:40:48other guys that the way that people get
1:40:50out of the criminal justice system is
1:40:51they accept responsibility for the
1:40:53crimes they've committed and they say I
1:40:55did this nobody made me do it I am
1:40:58responsible and they stop going back to
1:41:01jail the third area is in medicine today
1:41:04we know that almost all of our problems
1:41:07in medicine are psychological in origin
1:41:10or we inflict things on ourselves the
1:41:12average American or Canadian is about 10
1:41:14to 20 pounds overweight in medicine we
1:41:17expect the doctor to be responsible just
1:41:20imagine how we would take what kind of
1:41:21care you would take of yourself if you
1:41:23run a desert island for life with no
1:41:25doctors no nurses no hospitals no
1:41:26medicine no nothing where you had
1:41:28nothing to fall back on very very
1:41:30important point so all around you in
1:41:31society you're going to notice this
1:41:34clamor this demand I am not responsible
1:41:37make somebody else
1:41:39responsible but this is the key remember
1:41:41you are always free to
1:41:43choose you are free to
1:41:46choose your responses you are free to
1:41:49choose a quality of your emotional life
1:41:52you know that
1:41:54you decide how you're going to feel by
1:41:56how you are going to respond you decide
1:41:58when to get angry when to be happy when
1:42:00to be unhappy you decide what your
1:42:02attitude is going to be when you get up
1:42:03in the morning you decide the qu the
1:42:05quality of your physical life you're the
1:42:07one who decides what you eat what you
1:42:09drink what you don't eat and drink you
1:42:11deser determine the quality of your
1:42:13financial life you're the one who
1:42:14determines the quality and quantity of
1:42:16the work that you contribute in every
1:42:18case you're free to choose what you want
1:42:21if you want things to be different the
1:42:22start point is to accept full
1:42:25unqualified responsibility for your life
1:42:28I first discovered this whole concept of
1:42:30responsibility when I was 21 years old I
1:42:33was living in a little apartment I was
1:42:34working on a construction job it was 35
1:42:37de below zero outside I didn't have a
1:42:39car I didn't have any money in the bank
1:42:41my clothes were old I had failed out of
1:42:44high school and I looked around me in
1:42:47that cold winter in that little
1:42:48apartment with no future and not much of
1:42:50a past and I said to myself If Ever I
1:42:52want anything to change it's up to me
1:42:55that's the time where I really got
1:42:57scared it suddenly hit me right between
1:42:59the eyes that if I wanted my life to be
1:43:01different it was up to me to make my
1:43:03life different and if I can get only one
1:43:05point across to you in this simple
1:43:07segment this little segment is this is
1:43:10that the starting point of flying to the
1:43:12Stars the starting point of taking
1:43:14complete charge of your life the
1:43:16starting point of great success and
1:43:17great achievement is to accept complete
1:43:20unconditional responsibility if it's to
1:43:22be it's up to me if it's to be it's up
1:43:25to
1:43:34you session six eliminating negative
1:43:38emotions continuing on the subject of
1:43:40responsibility versus irresponsibility
1:43:43many years ago back in 1972 I began a
1:43:46study in an area of metaphysics that
1:43:48dealt with the psychology of the
1:43:50evolution of human potential and one of
1:43:53the things that leaped out of those
1:43:55pages at me and I I've never really have
1:43:56recovered from it was the discussion of
1:43:59the connecting link between
1:44:02irresponsibility and negative emotions
1:44:05and the fact that negative emotions are
1:44:07the great blocking emotions are
1:44:09crippling emotions of your life and my
1:44:11life if the whole purpose of life if you
1:44:14like is to achieve higher levels of
1:44:15Peace of Mind happiness contentment
1:44:17satisfaction and so on we have to sit
1:44:19down we have to look and say what stops
1:44:21us or what is blocking us or what gets
1:44:23in the way of us really enjoying our
1:44:25lives and you find invariably its
1:44:27negative emotions of some kind now I'm
1:44:30not talking about the negative emotions
1:44:31that are associated with someone dying
1:44:33or with a great loss I'm talking about
1:44:35the negative emotions that we experience
1:44:37on a day-to-day basis that Rob us of
1:44:39Peace of Mind Rob us of health and
1:44:40energy affect our loving relationships
1:44:43get in the way of our financial
1:44:44Independence Rob us of a feeling of
1:44:46fulfillment and so on so we're going to
1:44:48talk in this session about eliminating
1:44:50negative emotions and I want to bring us
1:44:52back to this whole discussion of
1:44:54responsibility this is one of the most
1:44:56important things that I've ever found in
1:44:58my life it's simply
1:45:00this is that if we take a graph or chart
1:45:04and come with me for a second and let's
1:45:05chart
1:45:06this and we take from highest to the
1:45:09lowest and here we have a totally
1:45:11responsible person this is a person who
1:45:13is completely self assured completely
1:45:16self-responsible makes no excuses at all
1:45:18and down here at the other end we have
1:45:19an irresponsible person a person who
1:45:21makes excuses for everything now this is
1:45:24the positive end of the scale this is
1:45:26the negative end of the scale every one
1:45:29of us you and I are somewhere on this
1:45:31scale moving up or down with every
1:45:34decision that we take now we found and
1:45:37this is what got to me and I said a
1:45:38little bit earlier that there's a on
1:45:40toone relationship between how much you
1:45:41feel you are in control of your own life
1:45:44and how positive or how happy you are
1:45:46well there's a one toone relationship
1:45:48between the amount of responsibility you
1:45:50accept and the amount of control you
1:45:52experience in your life and there's a on
1:45:54toone relationship between the amount of
1:45:57responsibility and control you accept
1:45:59and the amount of Freedom that you feel
1:46:01that you have freedom is the
1:46:04indispensable requirement for happiness
1:46:06that true success true happiness in life
1:46:09means being free to live your life your
1:46:11own way as you decide without anybody
1:46:14else telling you what to do living your
1:46:16life as a bird free as a bird to do
1:46:18whatever you want well there's a direct
1:46:20relationship between responsibility
1:46:21control and freedom and there's a direct
1:46:23relationship between these three and
1:46:26positive
1:46:28emotions now positive emotions are the
1:46:31great emotions positive emotions are
1:46:32those of happiness and love and joy and
1:46:35vitality and energy and exuberance and
1:46:37enthusiasm and excitement and so on now
1:46:39down at the other end however we have an
1:46:41attitude of irresponsibility and what
1:46:43does that lead to this is what shocked
1:46:46me so much when I first learned it it
1:46:47leads to a lack of control is that to
1:46:51the degree to which
1:46:53we are irresponsible we lose control our
1:46:57inner selves disintegrate and fragment
1:47:00it also leads to a lack of freedom
1:47:02because we no longer see ourselves as
1:47:05free agents choosing the direction of
1:47:07our own lives we see ourselves as pawns
1:47:10as victims if you like of external
1:47:12forces and a lack of control and freedom
1:47:14leads to negative
1:47:17emotions when I
1:47:19first began to understand this I thought
1:47:23well yeah but what about uh my parents
1:47:25and what about my childhood and what
1:47:26about my condition I didn't have a very
1:47:28good job and what about my friends I had
1:47:30crummy friends and what about my health
1:47:31and what about uh the weather and what
1:47:33about the economy when I began to
1:47:35realize this I began to realize that you
1:47:37put all that aside if your highest aim
1:47:39your highest goal is positive emotions
1:47:42of happiness joy Freedom enthusiasm and
1:47:45so on then you have to stop making
1:47:48excuses now Carl menager the Great
1:47:51psychoanalyst said a very interesting
1:47:53thing some years ago he said that
1:47:55physical ailments are all different
1:47:57caused by different bacteria different
1:47:59viruses and so on he said but mental
1:48:01illness is the same illness simply
1:48:04spread along a spectrum from the least
1:48:07to the worst and Thomas SAS the
1:48:09psychiatrist said in his book The Myth
1:48:11of mental illness that there is no such
1:48:13thing as mental illness there are merely
1:48:16varying degrees of
1:48:18irresponsibility so when we say that an
1:48:21irresponsible person is not only
1:48:22negative we say an irresponsible person
1:48:24is also mentally ill a totally
1:48:27responsible person is mentally healthy
1:48:29how does this affect you well I know you
1:48:31want to advance as much as you can in
1:48:33Life or you wouldn't be going through
1:48:34the efforts of taking a program like
1:48:35this there is a direct relationship
1:48:38between the amount of responsibility you
1:48:40accept for the results of your
1:48:43organization and the amount of power
1:48:45influence position Prestige and status
1:48:48you will have in your work now and in
1:48:51the future at the top of the graph of
1:48:53responsibility we have people who accept
1:48:56total responsibility and power and
1:48:58opportunity gravitates toward them down
1:49:01at the other end we have no power or
1:49:04powerlessness until you reach the
1:49:06extreme example of a person who's
1:49:08totally irresponsible completely out of
1:49:10control who has to be constrained in a
1:49:12straight jacket and locked up in a
1:49:13padded room for their own safety and for
1:49:16the safety of others completely
1:49:17powerless completely without control or
1:49:19Freedom now every time we make a
1:49:21decision to be self responsible we move
1:49:24up on this graph every time we make a
1:49:26decision to make excuses we move down in
1:49:29this graph so let's take it a little bit
1:49:30further and let's talk about the
1:49:33relationship between negative emotions
1:49:35and irresponsibility so that you
1:49:37understand it perfectly clearly and a
1:49:38perfect example is this imagine here is
1:49:41a tree all right here's a tree and here
1:49:45is the bushes this is what is called the
1:49:47negative emotion tree in the negative
1:49:50emotion tree grows the predominant
1:49:53negative emotions
1:49:54fear doubt it's many people have
1:49:57considered that self-doubt is the most
1:49:59destructive of all negative emotion
1:50:01holds you back more than you can imagine
1:50:03also hate is a negative emotion then
1:50:07there's
1:50:08Envy there's
1:50:10resentment and then of course there's
1:50:12resentment sister
1:50:15guilt these are all the big negative
1:50:17emotions these are the ones that have
1:50:18led to hit parade for years there's
1:50:19about 54 different negative emotions but
1:50:21these are the top and if you take these
1:50:23negative emotions and you boil them all
1:50:25down you can put in your own favorite by
1:50:27the way everybody has their own favorite
1:50:28negative emotion jealousy could be yours
1:50:31um self-pity is a good strong one it's
1:50:34doing well but if you boil it down you
1:50:36find that all negative emotions
1:50:37eventually boil down to anger either
1:50:40inwardly expressed that is where you
1:50:41make yourself sick or outwardly
1:50:43expressed that is where you make other
1:50:45people sick uh and this negative emotion
1:50:48tree if we just take a look at its
1:50:50structure we find the negative emotion
1:50:51tree has a root system Sy now the root
1:50:54system is where the nutrients come from
1:50:56that keep the negative
1:50:57emotion growing and keep the fruit of
1:50:59the negative emotion growing and
1:51:02blossoming we look at the root system we
1:51:04say what are the nutrients what keeps
1:51:06negative emotions going what are the
1:51:07fertilizer what is it that you Heap on
1:51:09the fire if you like or put into the
1:51:11ground we find that there's two things
1:51:12essential to keep negative emotions
1:51:14alive the first is
1:51:17justification
1:51:19justification that's the simp that's
1:51:21that's merely telling your yourself and
1:51:23anybody else who will listen why you are
1:51:25justified in having this emotion and the
1:51:27other is what we call
1:51:30identification identification means
1:51:32taking things
1:51:34personally that's why of course they
1:51:36suggest that a person who acts as their
1:51:38own lawyer has a fool for a client
1:51:40probably a person who acts as their own
1:51:42doctor has a fool for a patient too
1:51:44because we become so personally
1:51:45identified with our own situation and so
1:51:47do you we take it so personally that we
1:51:50get all emotionally involved and wrapped
1:51:52up in it so we find that it's not
1:51:54possible for you to be negative about
1:51:56anything for very long unless you can
1:51:59justify or have a reason for it and
1:52:01explain it to other people or unless you
1:52:04can identify and take it personally for
1:52:07instance if somebody comes in from the
1:52:08parking lot and says they just ran into
1:52:10a car in the parking lot doesn't bother
1:52:12you at all because you don't identify
1:52:15with it now if they said they just ran
1:52:16into a car in the parking lot and it's
1:52:18your car in the parking lot and the
1:52:19person's gone now you can become
1:52:21extremely upset
1:52:23remember this however that we always
1:52:25choose these responses I'll come back to
1:52:27this in a second so how do we get rid of
1:52:29justification how do we starve the root
1:52:31system of the negative emotion tree the
1:52:34way that we get rid of justification is
1:52:36by becoming
1:52:38non-judgmental in the Bible it says
1:52:40judge not that she be not judged and
1:52:43since the Bible is amongst many other
1:52:45things a book of philosophy and
1:52:47metaphysics and how to live being
1:52:49non-judgmental means that you just
1:52:51refrain from judging hold back from
1:52:52judging instead of casting a judgment
1:52:55that somebody is guilty of something
1:52:57somebody has done something just remain
1:52:59open and neutral just remaining neutral
1:53:02and that's the key stops the negative
1:53:05emotion from getting going one of the
1:53:07things that we know about negative
1:53:08emotions and I've studied them for years
1:53:10is that negative emotions start off like
1:53:11a spark and as they are fed as we dwell
1:53:14upon them as we justify them as we
1:53:16become judgmental about the situation
1:53:18they start to grow and grow and grow
1:53:20until they absolutely consume our minds
1:53:22now with regard to identification which
1:53:24is taking things personally what we do
1:53:26is what is called we
1:53:30disidentify we objectify or we again
1:53:34remain neutral we try to keep it at arms
1:53:36length we say there is a problem but I
1:53:38am not the problem there is a difficulty
1:53:40but the difficulty is not me and we keep
1:53:42it at arms length so these two once we
1:53:44begin to stop justifying and stop
1:53:47identifying or taking things personally
1:53:49stop getting emotionally involved have
1:53:51you ever had the situation where
1:53:52somebody comes to you with a problem and
1:53:53you get so emotionally involved with
1:53:55their problem that you lose that that
1:53:57you start to feel upset and they go away
1:53:59and they don't have a problem anymore
1:54:00and you're you're still there and you're
1:54:01upset this is because we've taken it so
1:54:04personally however the key to getting
1:54:06rid of negative emotions and this is the
1:54:08most important part of this is the trunk
1:54:11it's cutting down the trunk of the
1:54:12negative emotion tree and the trunk of
1:54:13the negative emotion tree is
1:54:16blame blame is
1:54:1999% of negative emotions now it's very
1:54:22important to understand where negative
1:54:24emotions come from negative emotions
1:54:26come from inside you negative emotions
1:54:29are not contained in external situations
1:54:32negative emotions are not caused by
1:54:34other people or other situations
1:54:36negative emotions are caused by your
1:54:39response to other situations perfect
1:54:41example two people meet the same
1:54:44situation a traffic jam a rude waiter
1:54:47whatever it happens to be and one person
1:54:49gets all upset and uptight and angry the
1:54:51other person lets it
1:54:53go off their back another example the
1:54:56same person two different days one day
1:54:58they've had an argument or a flat tire
1:54:59or they're late for work they get into a
1:55:01traffic jam and they're angry and
1:55:02they're uptight the next day they leave
1:55:04with plenty of time they had a lovely
1:55:06breakfast with their family they got
1:55:08lots of time to get to work they have a
1:55:09traffic jam doesn't bother them at all
1:55:11in both cases it's an example of that
1:55:13the negative emotion does not come from
1:55:15the situation is that you are always
1:55:17free to choose the quality of your
1:55:18emotional life is that you choose to
1:55:21become an angry Now understand this
1:55:24nobody makes you feel anything nobody
1:55:27makes you feel angry nobody makes you
1:55:30feel tense nobody makes you feel upset
1:55:33you always decide how you're going to
1:55:35feel and then if you're not careful you
1:55:37will fall into a negative habit pattern
1:55:39of blaming the other person blame is the
1:55:42core of all negative emotions when you
1:55:45stop blaming you cut down the negative
1:55:48emotion tree you cut it off you kill it
1:55:51and all the negative emotions die
1:55:54simultaneously it's almost exactly as if
1:55:56this negative emotion tree were a
1:55:58Christmas tree and it were plugged into
1:56:00the wall and the negative emotions were
1:56:03Christmas tree lights and you took this
1:56:05plug and you jerked it out of the wall
1:56:08what would happen well what would happen
1:56:09is that all the negative emotions the
1:56:11lights would go out simultaneously just
1:56:14like that how do you do this you do this
1:56:16by using the law of substitution
1:56:18remember the law of substitution says
1:56:20that the conscious mind can only hold
1:56:21one thought a time it's a thought that
1:56:23the conscious mind holds that determines
1:56:25how the emotions will react how the
1:56:27subconscious mind will react since it
1:56:29can only hold one thought at a time what
1:56:30you do is you knock out the thought that
1:56:33is causing the negative emotion the
1:56:35blame thought and you replace it with
1:56:37this
1:56:38affirmation I am
1:56:41responsible I am
1:56:44responsible I am
1:56:47responsible this in conjunction with I
1:56:50like myself I am responsible is the most
1:56:52powerful positive affirmation you can
1:56:55use because the instant that you say I
1:56:57am responsible you exert complete
1:56:59control over your emotional life the
1:57:01instance you say I am responsible
1:57:02suddenly you are back in the driver's
1:57:04seat you cannot say I am responsible and
1:57:07feel a negative emotions simultaneously
1:57:10the one knocks the other one out of your
1:57:12conscious mind and you can start off for
1:57:14instance each one of us has a situation
1:57:16that causes us a lot of aggravation you
1:57:18have a situation it may be a person but
1:57:20every time you think about it you get
1:57:21angry every time you think about it you
1:57:23get Cross or you get distracted what you
1:57:25do is whenever you start to think about
1:57:27that situation neutralize it by saying I
1:57:29am responsible wait a minute I am
1:57:30responsible is it a relationship who got
1:57:33yourself into the relationship did
1:57:34somebody put you there at gunpoint or
1:57:36did you get into it by yourself is it a
1:57:38job is it an investment is it a health
1:57:41problem of some kind in every case
1:57:44accept responsibility now there's a big
1:57:45difference between acceptance
1:57:47responsibility and let me just write
1:57:48this up it's responsibility versus blame
1:57:59responsibility versus blame what is what
1:58:02is blame blame always looks backward
1:58:04toward the past blame looks toward the
1:58:07past toward what cannot be done toward
1:58:09what can't be changed responsibility
1:58:11always looks to the
1:58:12Future so people say well when you
1:58:14accept responsibility isn't that the
1:58:15same as saying you're to blame no it's
1:58:18the same as saying that you are in
1:58:20charge of the quality you're thinking
1:58:23From This Moment onward so let us say
1:58:25that you come out to the parking lot and
1:58:26somebody's running to your car now you
1:58:28have two choices you can become angry
1:58:29and upset and run around and scream and
1:58:31shout or you can act in a responsible
1:58:33manner you can do everything possible to
1:58:35trace the culprit and other than that
1:58:37you can live with it maturely so
1:58:40responsibility always looks to the
1:58:41Future responsibility always asks this
1:58:44question when faced with a
1:58:46problem what can we do not who did it
1:58:51but what can we do from here where do we
1:58:55go from here what can we do this is the
1:58:58question of the responsible person we
1:59:01don't cry over spilled milk we just say
1:59:03all right what's the solution and we get
1:59:05on with the game the irresponsible
1:59:07person always says who did it and is
1:59:10obsessed with finding out who did it and
1:59:12then taking whatever blame there is and
1:59:14a portioning it so that everybody gets
1:59:15their fair share of the blame which of
1:59:17course does nothing to resolve the
1:59:19difficulty so the key to cutting down
1:59:21the negative emotion tree is using the
1:59:25ax and eliminating blaming the day that
1:59:28you begin to eliminate blaming from your
1:59:30life is the day that your life starts to
1:59:32take off because the day that you start
1:59:34to eliminate blaming and negative
1:59:35emotions suddenly most of the problems
1:59:38most of the things that stand between
1:59:40you and the happiness you desire vanish
1:59:44why am I making such an emphasis on
1:59:45negative emotions well let me make that
1:59:47clear for just a second what I found and
1:59:50this is what was staggering to me
1:59:51because always been committed to
1:59:53realizing my potential as a human being
1:59:55is that you cannot advance in life
1:59:58except to the degree to which you get
2:00:00rid of your negative emotions you cannot
2:00:02make any progress you cannot go any
2:00:04further than where you are right this
2:00:06minute except the to the degree to which
2:00:08you leave your negative emotions behind
2:00:12now by the way with regard to the
2:00:14negative emotion that you have that's
2:00:16associated with another person or
2:00:18situation it's difficult to accept
2:00:20responsibility it's difficult to say I
2:00:22am responsible initially because you've
2:00:24been blaming that person for so long so
2:00:26sometimes you have to say it with
2:00:27gritted teeth you have to say wait
2:00:30responsible I am responsible but the
2:00:32more you repeat this I am responsible I
2:00:34am responsible I am responsible it comes
2:00:37easier and easier eventually it gets to
2:00:39the point where as soon as you think of
2:00:41that person or situation you can
2:00:42neutralize the thought by the law of
2:00:44substitution by saying wait a minute I'm
2:00:45responsible I am responsible there's a
2:00:49beautiful line that you can use also in
2:00:52dealing with difficult people that goes
2:00:54back to self-esteem and it also has to
2:00:56do with eliminating negative emotions is
2:00:59say something like this no matter what
2:01:00you say or do I'm still a valuable and
2:01:02worthwhile person or no matter what
2:01:05happens I am still a valuable and
2:01:07worthwhile person or no matter how this
2:01:09situation turns out I am still a
2:01:11valuable and worthwhile person the
2:01:14natural course of life is this here's
2:01:16the road of life and when we're children
2:01:18we start off with no negative emotions
2:01:21all negative emotions by the way have to
2:01:22be taught to a child they have to be
2:01:24taught and the child has to learn them
2:01:26from their parents have you ever seen a
2:01:27negative baby there's no such thing as a
2:01:29negative baby babies just laugh and
2:01:31they're happy and they cry when they
2:01:33have needs but babies are not negative
2:01:35but as we grow up we watch the people
2:01:37around us and we begin to develop our
2:01:39own negative emotions which we carry in
2:01:41a sack on our back as we become
2:01:43teenagers our this sack grows big enough
2:01:46to the point where we can even go to
2:01:47slumber parties or we can get together
2:01:49with our buddies and we can talk about
2:01:50how terrible our CH child has been how
2:01:52rotten our parents are how rotten our
2:01:54siblings teachers and everything else
2:01:55are now when we become adults what is
2:01:58the mark of adulthood in our society the
2:02:00mark of adulthood is that you have a
2:02:02great gunny sack full of negative
2:02:04emotions because you have suffered and
2:02:06what happens is you spend most of your
2:02:08time when you're with other people
2:02:09letting down your guards and telling
2:02:11them about how much you've suffered what
2:02:13you do is you uh use exchanges of
2:02:16negative emotions as the basis for your
2:02:18relationships you say look I'll show you
2:02:20my negative emotions if you'll show me
2:02:21yours remember like we used to do as
2:02:23kids and what you do is you get together
2:02:25like a couple of traitors in an Arab
2:02:26bizaar and you display your negative
2:02:28emotion you say oh look at this rotten
2:02:30childhood I had and look at this
2:02:31terrible relationship and look at how
2:02:33crummy my boss is and how rotten this is
2:02:35and so on and you exchange them back and
2:02:37forth now what happens when you talk
2:02:39about and think about your negative
2:02:40emotions remember the law of
2:02:41concentration whatever you dwell upon
2:02:44grows whatever you dwell upon grows and
2:02:47gains strength and stays alive negative
2:02:50emotions by the way and this is another
2:02:51thing that I learned in the study is
2:02:52negative emotions are very fragile and
2:02:55ephemeral things he said if you don't
2:02:56keep them alive through constant talking
2:02:58through constant cultivation you know
2:03:00what happens they die on you yes you see
2:03:03negative emotions just die it's like a
2:03:05fire if it falls where there's nothing
2:03:07or spark if it falls where there's
2:03:08nothing to burn it goes out negative
2:03:11emotions unless you talk about them and
2:03:12keep them going unless you dwell on them
2:03:14all the time they die on you you ever
2:03:15had an experience where you're really
2:03:17worried about something you're really
2:03:18upset about something and it's
2:03:19preoccupying all of your time and and
2:03:22then you get to work or you get home and
2:03:23you get so busy doing something else
2:03:25that for about three or four hours you
2:03:26don't have time to think of anything
2:03:27else about three or four hours you stop
2:03:29and say geez I haven't worried about
2:03:30that for a long time I got to get back
2:03:32to worrying about it because what's
2:03:33happening it's going out it's like a
2:03:34fire that's going out so you got to get
2:03:35back to it you got to think about it and
2:03:36talk about it and worry about it and
2:03:38hassle it to get it back up to the point
2:03:40where it's preoccupying your whole mind
2:03:41how many times do that happen well what
2:03:44the mature adult does is the mature
2:03:46adult leaves their negative emotions by
2:03:49the side of the road and gets on with
2:03:51the rest of their life they get on with
2:03:53the rest of their life they leave them
2:03:55there instead of dragging them along
2:03:57they leave them like a big pile of
2:03:59garbage at a garbage strike they just
2:04:01leave it there and when people say how
2:04:03are things going you say wonderful you
2:04:05say how's life you say terrific you say
2:04:07how's your relationships couldn't be
2:04:08better how is your health how you
2:04:09feeling I feel great in other words
2:04:12don't talk about negative things because
2:04:14when you talk about negative things you
2:04:15actually increase them and you draw more
2:04:18of them into your life look at the
2:04:19people that you know who have problems
2:04:21you know most the people that you know
2:04:22have problems all the time never seem to
2:04:24solve their problems are people who talk
2:04:25about their problems all the time to him
2:04:27that ha shall more be given from him who
2:04:29hath not even that which he has shall be
2:04:30taken away now this is another and
2:04:32critical point with regard to
2:04:34relationships and I learned this again
2:04:36in my studies it is that each of us has
2:04:39a certain amount of suffering that we've
2:04:40gone through and people fall in love
2:04:44with their suffering people love their
2:04:46suffering as a matter of fact they feel
2:04:49that they've paid for it they've thought
2:04:51about it they lived with it for so long
2:04:53that most people are very reluctant to
2:04:55give up their suffering you can't talk
2:04:58them out of it you say well why don't
2:04:59you just forget it why don't you just
2:05:00put it behind you what why don't you
2:05:02just get on with it they say well I
2:05:03can't do that do you know how much I've
2:05:05suffered do you know how much emotional
2:05:06investment I've put into this
2:05:07relationship his job his career and so
2:05:09on I remember oh I can't I can tell you
2:05:12a thousand people have come up to me who
2:05:14are in bad relationships and they say
2:05:15well I've been in this relationship or
2:05:17in this marriage now for several years
2:05:19and I'm miserable I'm unhappy we don't
2:05:20like each other it's going I say why
2:05:22don't you do something about it but
2:05:23after all these years and what I say to
2:05:25them is I say look the average life
2:05:27expectancy of the average American today
2:05:29is between 75 and 80 years and it's
2:05:31going up by the time we reach the end of
2:05:34the century the average life expectancy
2:05:35will probably 80 85 90 years old you
2:05:37know what that means that whatever age
2:05:39you are now and you may be 20 25 30 35
2:05:41it doesn't really matter you subtract
2:05:43that from 80 you get the number of years
2:05:44that you've got left to live in this
2:05:46current situation you ask yourself do
2:05:47you want to live in this situation for
2:05:49the next 30 40 50 years and the answer
2:05:52answer in all honesty has to be no
2:05:55because it's probably not going to get
2:05:56any better people love their suffering
2:05:58they hate to give up their suffering so
2:06:00what we've devised is a very simple bit
2:06:01of advice and this advice I just
2:06:03recently discussed this with a
2:06:05Consulting psychologist and he said it's
2:06:06the simplest advice he's ever heard to
2:06:08give to people who need it it's when
2:06:10somebody comes up to you and wants to
2:06:11talk to you about their problems you say
2:06:14yes and you be sympathetic and
2:06:15empathetic it's very good to hear people
2:06:17and let them talk about their problems
2:06:19except there are some people who do
2:06:20nothing but talk about their problems
2:06:21every time you see them they talk about
2:06:22their problems very often they talk
2:06:23about the same things they talked about
2:06:25last time what you do is you say yes I
2:06:27hear what you say and I'm I'm very
2:06:29sympathetic however you're responsible
2:06:31for your own life you are responsible
2:06:33what are you going to do about it you
2:06:35are responsible for your own life what
2:06:37are you going to do about
2:06:39it now what will happen is this is that
2:06:42your good friends will
2:06:44say yes you're right I am responsible I
2:06:46have to make a change I have to do
2:06:47something about it and they'll go out
2:06:49and they'll do it as a matter of fact
2:06:51they'll come they'll lay out all their
2:06:52problems to you and all you say to them
2:06:54is this you say well what do you think
2:06:56you should do about it now your good
2:06:59friends can use that conversational time
2:07:01to get their own thoughts in line to
2:07:04come up with their own conclusions and
2:07:05go out and they don't need your advice
2:07:06most people don't need advice there's an
2:07:08old saying that says that don't worry
2:07:10about the universal propensity to give
2:07:12advice because the propensity to ignore
2:07:14it is equally Universal people don't
2:07:16need advice sometimes they just need a
2:07:17sounding board however there are some
2:07:19people who don't have any intentions of
2:07:21doing anything about their problems all
2:07:23they want to do is they want to use
2:07:24their problems as an excuse to get you
2:07:28to talk about them you understand that
2:07:31it's a very common neurotic tendency in
2:07:33our society is to use your problems as
2:07:35the basis for the discussion here's my
2:07:37problems lets you and me talk about them
2:07:40and the person in himself or herself has
2:07:42no interest in you at all all they have
2:07:45an interest in is having you listen as a
2:07:47matter of fact we say this as a as as a
2:07:50joke we say that this is what these
2:07:51people look like is these people look
2:07:53upon you as being a person and this is
2:07:56your face and this is your eyes and
2:07:59these are your
2:08:02ears see and here is your eyes
2:08:05preferably wide open and sympathetic
2:08:07here's your mouth preferably shut and
2:08:10here's your ears preferably wide open
2:08:13these people don't even look upon you as
2:08:15a person they don't care about your
2:08:16problems at all all they care about is
2:08:18you sitting there listening and nodding
2:08:20sympathetically and giving them advice
2:08:22which they have no intention whatever of
2:08:24following when you run into people like
2:08:26this it's a very simple way to test the
2:08:28friendship just start talking about
2:08:30yourself say well you know I'm really
2:08:32glad you brought your problems to me
2:08:33because I've got some problems of my own
2:08:34and I like to discuss my life with you
2:08:36you will find these people will run for
2:08:38the door they'll watch their watch
2:08:39they've got an appointment they'll take
2:08:41off so fast you can't imagine all right
2:08:43now one final point and this is critical
2:08:45it's absolutely critical to the whole
2:08:47subject it's the wrap-up point if you
2:08:49like it's this if is that when we start
2:08:52talking about giving up negative
2:08:53emotions almost everybody says yes I
2:08:55agree what you say is true it makes
2:08:58sense to me Brian and I am going to give
2:09:00up my negative emotions I am going to
2:09:02accept responsibility I am going to take
2:09:04charge of my life and I'm not going to
2:09:05blame anybody else anymore except for
2:09:09one everybody has one that they're not
2:09:13going to part with everybody has that
2:09:15favorite negative emotion that they've
2:09:16been paying for and holding on to for
2:09:19years now let me tell you why it's so
2:09:21important that you give it up here's a
2:09:23car imagine this a beautiful Mercedes
2:09:25automobile brand new from the factory
2:09:28absolutely spitting
2:09:30560 seel
2:09:33$55,000 beautiful vehicle tested in
2:09:35every aspect absolutely perfect it's
2:09:37given to you without a flaw except for
2:09:41one this is the front of the automobile
2:09:44and there's one small problem is that
2:09:46for some mechanical reason this brake is
2:09:50locked on
2:09:53now you get into this beautiful Mercedes
2:09:55Just As You Are Beautiful Mind beautiful
2:09:57body beautiful potential incredible
2:09:59capability you get into this beautiful
2:10:01Mercedes and you start it up and you
2:10:02step on the gas and what happens well if
2:10:06the front brake is locked on what will
2:10:08happen to the car no matter how hard you
2:10:10step on the gas what will happen to the
2:10:11car what will happen is that the car
2:10:14will spin it'll go around in circles
2:10:17it'll Spin and it will go around in
2:10:18circles until you stop stepping on the
2:10:20gas and you get give up as long as that
2:10:22front Brak is locked on you can't go
2:10:25anywhere what I found was this is that
2:10:28the existence of just one negative
2:10:30emotion that you will not let go of for
2:10:33whatever reason and the reason is always
2:10:35an ego reason the reason it always has
2:10:38to do with your own ego will cause you
2:10:41to stay in the same place and spin your
2:10:44wheels and go in circles for the rest of
2:10:47your life that you all know people who
2:10:50are talented who have opport unities
2:10:51good educations and so on and so forth
2:10:53and their life just goes around in
2:10:56circles they just seem to be spinning
2:10:58they've got everything going for them
2:10:59and they just continually have problems
2:11:02why is it almost invariably and this is
2:11:04what all psychoanalysis does all
2:11:06Psychotherapy is they've got one
2:11:08negative emotion locked on and the
2:11:09negative emotion they have locked on is
2:11:11blame there is somebody that they are
2:11:14still blaming for something there's
2:11:15somebody that they are not going to let
2:11:17off the hook because that son of a gun
2:11:19did something to them you know what I'm
2:11:21talking about you know what I'm talking
2:11:23about because we're all in the same boat
2:11:25we're all human beings the reason this
2:11:27makes sense to you and I is because we
2:11:30do have a tendency to fall in love with
2:11:32our suffering we do have a tendency to
2:11:33gunny sack and to think that part of our
2:11:36humanity is all these negative emotions
2:11:38we do have a tendency to see that other
2:11:41people are responsible other people have
2:11:42hurt us they did cost us money they did
2:11:45hurt us in a relationship but the key to
2:11:48Peak Performance the key to happiness
2:11:51the the key to success is to use the law
2:11:53of substitution and knock those negative
2:11:56emotions out of the box by the very
2:11:58first time you think of anything that
2:12:00causes you any stress you say I am
2:12:02responsible wait a minute I am
2:12:04responsible I am responsible I am
2:12:07responsible I like myself and I am
2:12:09responsible I like myself and I am
2:12:12responsible and nothing outside of me is
2:12:14going to disrupt my peace of mind I am
2:12:17in charge of my emotional life I am
2:12:20responsible
2:12:22you are
2:12:33responsible session seven releasing your
2:12:36breakes when I began studying negative
2:12:38emotions many years ago the most
2:12:40critical point I discovered was that you
2:12:42cannot make any progress toward health
2:12:45happiness love and fulfillment of your
2:12:47potential as long as you insist on
2:12:50keeping your negative emotions intact
2:12:52now the only good thing about negative
2:12:54emotions if there is any good thing at
2:12:56all is that negative emotions are not
2:12:58permanent even according to Sigman Freud
2:13:00there is no permanent place for negative
2:13:02emotions in the subconscious in other
2:13:04words they are unwanted visitors they
2:13:07are negative habits or negative response
2:13:09patterns that can be eliminated and the
2:13:11starting point of eliminating them is
2:13:13understanding where they came from
2:13:15understanding what were the causitive
2:13:16factors going back to Early Childhood
2:13:19that have triggered the development of
2:13:20negative emotions and have given us as
2:13:22adults a propensity to be negative in
2:13:25one way or another that takes us to
2:13:28Early Childhood conditioning remember we
2:13:31said before that the starting point of
2:13:34inhibitive and compulsive negative habit
2:13:36patterns was destructive criticism
2:13:39destructive
2:13:40criticism is the great Destroyer
2:13:43destructive
2:13:44criticism destroys people on the inside
2:13:47and leaves them walking around on the
2:13:48outside more personalities have been
2:13:50under and destroyed more self-esteem has
2:13:53been cast aside as a result of
2:13:56destructive criticism than anything that
2:13:58else that we can possibly imagine so
2:13:59destructive criticism is the great
2:14:01killer now why is it so bad well we know
2:14:03that children as infants children as
2:14:06they're growing up have a tremendous
2:14:08need for love and approval from their
2:14:10parents in fact many psychiatrists and
2:14:12psychologists have said that the number
2:14:13one reason for mental illness in
2:14:15adulthood is withdrawal of Love or love
2:14:19withheld we know that any prestigious
2:14:22person any person who is important to a
2:14:24child has an inordinate impact on that
2:14:27child and that children up to the age of
2:14:296
2:14:31years have very little ability to
2:14:34discriminate between valid and invalid
2:14:37criticism what this means is that
2:14:39anything that a parent or an older
2:14:41sibling or an older relative anything
2:14:44that a a prestigious person or important
2:14:46person says to a child is accepted as
2:14:49true it's accepted it as a valid
2:14:52representation of reality if a mother
2:14:54says you're a bad boy if a daddy says
2:14:56you're lazy if uh someone says that
2:14:59you're not Dependable if someone says
2:15:00you're stupid or you're clumsy or you're
2:15:02ugly the child has no capacity whatever
2:15:06to discriminate between valid and
2:15:08invalid the child accepts that as a true
2:15:11representation of reality it bypasses
2:15:14the conscious mind goes straight into
2:15:15the subconscious and is stored many of
2:15:18us as adults are still living on the
2:15:21basis of negative information that was
2:15:23programmed into us when we were children
2:15:26and then as adults what do we say we say
2:15:28well that's just the way I am or I've
2:15:30always been that way or some people even
2:15:31say Well it runs in the family your
2:15:33father was like that children are like
2:15:34that or your mother was like that and so
2:15:36on but where did it come from none of
2:15:38these things run in the family for
2:15:41instance when I was growing up my
2:15:42parents had gone through the depression
2:15:44and the Depression had made an
2:15:45inordinate impact on them so whenever we
2:15:47talked about buying anything all the
2:15:49time I was growing up my parents would
2:15:51become very very tense and they said we
2:15:52can't afford it we can't afford it we
2:15:54can't afford it we can't afford it they
2:15:56had this lack mentality this we can't
2:15:59afford it mentality all their lives and
2:16:01I grew up so even though I've never
2:16:03experienced the depression and you've
2:16:04never experienced the depression in most
2:16:05cases 10 20 30 40 years later we're
2:16:07still saying I can't afford it I can't
2:16:09afford it I can't afford it we're still
2:16:11going on the basis of those critical
2:16:14remarks those emotionalized remarks that
2:16:16our parents said may maybe your parents
2:16:18said as my father told me over and over
2:16:20again you never finish anything you
2:16:21start you never finish anything you
2:16:22start you never finish anything you
2:16:24start or you're lazy you never finish
2:16:26anything you start do you know when I
2:16:27was an adult I had a terrible time
2:16:29finishing things that I started as I
2:16:31would get close to the end of a task I
2:16:33would actually begin to seize up and
2:16:34look for every single excuse to
2:16:37procrastinate and delay now the second
2:16:40factor that predisposes us to negative
2:16:42emotions is lack of
2:16:45love we know that children's
2:16:47personalities develop to the degree to
2:16:49which they receive a high quality and a
2:16:51high quantity of love from their parents
2:16:54there's a onetoone relationship between
2:16:56the amount of love the quality and
2:16:58quantity of love and healthy personality
2:17:00that love withdrawn or deprivation of
2:17:02Love is the key cause of unhappiness
2:17:05negativity and mental illness adulthood
2:17:08now in order for a child to feel truly
2:17:10loved the child must have High
2:17:12self-concept parents and most of us
2:17:14unfortunately had parents that were the
2:17:16victims of their parents and the victims
2:17:18of their parents what one of the writers
2:17:20say everybody is Vic is a victim of a
2:17:22victim we are all victims of victims in
2:17:25other words parents meant to raise us
2:17:27the best way they could but they were
2:17:29victims of victims themselves now in
2:17:31order for a child to feel fully loved
2:17:33three conditions have to exist number
2:17:36one condition is that parents must love
2:17:39themselves parents must love themselves
2:17:41remember you can never give any more
2:17:43love to others than you have for
2:17:46yourself if you don't love yourself you
2:17:48can't love your children if you have a
2:17:49little bit of love for yourself you have
2:17:50have to spread it over your children if
2:17:52you have a little bit of love for
2:17:53yourself and that's all taken up by your
2:17:55husband or your wife then sometimes even
2:17:57though you want to love your children
2:18:00you don't have the love even if your
2:18:01parents wanted to love you in many cases
2:18:03they didn't have the love to give why
2:18:05it's because they never got it when they
2:18:06were growing up the second requirement
2:18:09is that parents must love each
2:18:13other in order for a child to grow up
2:18:16feeling self-confident to grow up
2:18:18feeling loved to grow up feeling safe
2:18:20and secure
2:18:21he or she must grow up in an environment
2:18:23where the parents love each other there
2:18:25is nothing that is more frightening to a
2:18:27child than to grow up in a household
2:18:29where the parents are fighting with each
2:18:31other where the parents don't love each
2:18:33other where there's difficulty because
2:18:35the child always has a tendency first of
2:18:37all to be a victim and that the child is
2:18:39shouted at and screamed at and the child
2:18:41believes that the reason my mommy and
2:18:42daddy are fighting is it's my fault now
2:18:46interesting research since there are so
2:18:47many single parent families today
2:18:49interesting research shows that when one
2:18:51of the parents leaves as a result of a
2:18:53separation or a divorce the remaining CH
2:18:56child or children are invariably
2:18:58convinced that the reason the other
2:19:00parent left was because of something
2:19:03they did and it's critical if a marriage
2:19:05or a relationship is going to end and
2:19:07one is going to leave that the remaining
2:19:10parent tell the children over and over
2:19:13again that the reason the relationship
2:19:15didn't work out has nothing to do with
2:19:17you it has only to do with me and Daddy
2:19:20or me and Mommy has nothing to do with
2:19:22the child the child needs to hear it
2:19:24many many times before the child feels
2:19:27confident and secure and of course it's
2:19:28always better that a child be raised in
2:19:29a home with one parent that loves them
2:19:31rather than two parents that don't love
2:19:32each other now the third condition that
2:19:35must be fulfilled if lack of love is not
2:19:37to exist is that parents must love the
2:19:41child parents must love the
2:19:44child well this seems pretty obvious I
2:19:46mean seems pretty logical the fact of
2:19:48the matter is though and this is the
2:19:50hardest thing for you or I as adults
2:19:52even to think about but it is possible
2:19:55that our parents didn't love us not that
2:19:58they didn't intend to I mean they meant
2:19:59to love us and they wanted to love us
2:20:01and they had us intending to love us and
2:20:02so on but simply because they had
2:20:05conflicts with each other and they had
2:20:06unresolved problems with their parents
2:20:08and they had the war and the depression
2:20:09and they had their careers and they had
2:20:11other responsibilities they just never
2:20:14got around to it you see that was the
2:20:16difficulty they meant to but they never
2:20:17got around to it the only way that you
2:20:19can really love a child is by spending a
2:20:22high
2:20:25quantity and high quality of time with
2:20:28the child High quantity high quality
2:20:31with the
2:20:33child 10 minutes a day doesn't do it
2:20:36children consider themselves valuable to
2:20:38the degree to which the most important
2:20:40people in their lives spend time with
2:20:43them if the most important people in
2:20:45their lives their parents only spend a
2:20:47little time with them the children
2:20:48conclude that the reason for that is
2:20:50because they are defective there is
2:20:52something essentially wrong with them
2:20:54and that's why their parents don't spend
2:20:56time with them parent the children don't
2:20:57think rationally they think purely
2:20:58emotionally they only think if the
2:21:00parent is here he loves me or she loves
2:21:02me if the parent doesn't spend time with
2:21:03me he or she doesn't love me so if any
2:21:06one of those three conditions or more
2:21:08existed when you were growing up the
2:21:10parents didn't love themselves the
2:21:11parents didn't love each other or maybe
2:21:13the parents didn't love you because they
2:21:14never got around to it although they
2:21:16meant to then you will have grown up in
2:21:19conjunction with destructive criticism
2:21:20with what is called
2:21:22guilt now what is guilt well guilt is a
2:21:25feeling of not being worth very much
2:21:29where do we get this feeling well when
2:21:30we're continually criticized by the
2:21:32important people in our lives and
2:21:34simultaneously we are not given the
2:21:35amount of love that we need we feel that
2:21:37we're not worth very much we feel that
2:21:39we are worth less and a feeling of guilt
2:21:44leads to a feeling of
2:21:47worthlessness worthlessness
2:21:51and guilt the feeling of worthlessness
2:21:53is the underlying fundamental problem of
2:21:57the 20th century it is the main source
2:21:59of mental illness it is the main source
2:22:01of problems in relationships it's the
2:22:03main source of psychosomatic illness it
2:22:05is the main source of most of the
2:22:07problems that beset our society is this
2:22:09deep down feeling of guilt and
2:22:11worthlessness which is expressed or
2:22:13unexpressed in the thought or the
2:22:15attitude I'm not good enough I'm not
2:22:19good enough I'm not good enough you know
2:22:23we talked about self-esteem and how
2:22:24important it was self-esteem means I
2:22:26like myself I like myself I like myself
2:22:29I like myself people who've been raised
2:22:31with destructive criticism and lack of
2:22:32life not only don't like themselves they
2:22:35don't feel that they're good enough for
2:22:36anybody or anything and in many cases
2:22:39they are plagued by self-hatred they
2:22:42hate themselves self-hatred or self-
2:22:45condemnation and you will see this will
2:22:47come out in their conversation and it
2:22:49will come out in their relationship ship
2:22:50with other people people who hate
2:22:52themselves even though they want to have
2:22:54good relationships with other people are
2:22:55simply not capable of it people who
2:22:57don't feel that they're good enough for
2:22:58anything will always bring it to the
2:23:00surface it will always be a problem now
2:23:02what is the main reasons for Guilt
2:23:04actually where do guilt where does guilt
2:23:05come from guilt comes from three
2:23:06negative sources negative
2:23:09parents negative influences or negative
2:23:12religion one of the three any one of the
2:23:15three uses guilt and guilt is used or
2:23:17practiced especially by parents and by
2:23:20some religious denominations for two
2:23:22reasons one is
2:23:24punishment guilt is used to punish us
2:23:27when we're growing up it's the easiest
2:23:30way to punish a person is to make them
2:23:32feel bad so our parents make us feel bad
2:23:35by physically punishing us or by
2:23:37verbally abusing us and punishment is a
2:23:39very good way to gain conformance
2:23:42punishment is a very good way to get
2:23:43people to do what you want the second
2:23:45reason why guilt is used when it's
2:23:47consciously practiced and some
2:23:49organizations practice it consciously is
2:23:51for control emotional control especially
2:23:54because if you can emotionally control a
2:23:56person with guilt you can manipulate
2:23:58their behavior and there are many
2:24:00organizations that use guilt as a tool
2:24:03of control and manipulation if you can
2:24:05control people strongly enough
2:24:07especially emotionally you can get their
2:24:09money you can get their time you can get
2:24:11their commitment you can demand their
2:24:12resources and so on and many
2:24:14organizations use punishment um use
2:24:16guilt as a tool for D many of the
2:24:18Charities that advertise on television
2:24:20especially Charities for very needy
2:24:22causes involving children or disabled
2:24:24people use the feeling of guilt you're
2:24:27doing so well you should feel guilty for
2:24:29these people who are suffering therefore
2:24:31send us some money and that will take
2:24:33care of your guilt for a little while
2:24:35until we get you on our mailing list and
2:24:39and so on so guilt is a standard why is
2:24:41it that guilt is so commonly used well
2:24:43first of all because almost all of us
2:24:45have it to a greater or lesser degree
2:24:46and number two it's easy guilt is the
2:24:48easiest why does our parents use guilt
2:24:50on us why do our mothers use guilt on us
2:24:52because a mother can control us with
2:24:54guilt across a crowded room she can
2:24:56control us over a th miles of telephone
2:24:58line parents can use guilt on their
2:25:01children because their parents use guilt
2:25:03on them when their parents use guilt on
2:25:05them because it's the easiest there's no
2:25:06physical effort you can do it with a
2:25:08look a glance and a word and people
2:25:10always do the easiest thing as you know
2:25:12so be alert to it now if you've been
2:25:14brought up in an environment where
2:25:16you've been made to feel
2:25:19guilty and and almost all of us have you
2:25:21must understand that guilt is like a
2:25:24cesspool of negative emotional bacteria
2:25:27that sits at the core or the root of
2:25:29your psyche or your subconscious and it
2:25:32Springs forth all other negative
2:25:34emotions anger hatred Envy resentment uh
2:25:37uh frustration uh and uh doubt and fear
2:25:41and so on and so forth it controls it it
2:25:43creates them all and the way to really
2:25:46really get rid of that core is to excise
2:25:48it and cut it out completely so that's
2:25:50what we're going to do in the rest of
2:25:51this session first of all how can you
2:25:53tell if you've been brought up with
2:25:55feelings of guilt all right we'll call
2:25:57this the adult manifestations of
2:25:59guilt adult manifestations of guilt you
2:26:03can tell and you can just test yourself
2:26:05how many of these do you
2:26:09have number one adult manifestation of
2:26:13guilt is you have feelings of
2:26:17inferiority feelings of inferiority
2:26:19feeling of
2:26:23inadequacy and feelings of
2:26:25undeservingness in other words you don't
2:26:27feel that you deserve good things to
2:26:29happen to
2:26:31you if a person has been brought up with
2:26:34destructive criticism made to feel
2:26:35guilty then when they do succeed even
2:26:38with tremendous effort later on in life
2:26:39they have a terrible tendency to feel
2:26:42that they don't deserve it this is
2:26:43called by the way fear of
2:26:46success fear of success is just another
2:26:48way of saying that a person who has
2:26:49beened I condition to believe themselves
2:26:51to be unworthy or not good
2:26:53enough feels very very uncomfortable
2:26:56when they experience success they feel
2:26:58very very tense and uneasy as a matter
2:27:00of fact if they feel too much tension
2:27:02they'll start snorting coke drinking too
2:27:04much alcohol they'll engage in
2:27:05self-destructive behaviors they'll have
2:27:07a tremendous overwhelming feeling of
2:27:11anxiety like somebody's going to find
2:27:13them out there's a book on the book
2:27:14stands it says if I'm doing so well how
2:27:16come I feel like an imposter they have
2:27:19what is called the imposter Syndrome
2:27:21have you ever been successful at
2:27:23something and people come up to you and
2:27:24say boy you did a great job at that or
2:27:26that's wonderful even if you had worked
2:27:28hard hard hard at it and you felt like
2:27:31they were going to find you out you felt
2:27:33like you know they would they would find
2:27:34out that you weren't really that good
2:27:36that it was just a fluke it was just an
2:27:38accident and of course that's what
2:27:39people say they say it was just a fluke
2:27:40it was just an accident you know I don't
2:27:41know how it happened I'll blow it next
2:27:43time they do everything possible to get
2:27:44away from this feeling of un inferiority
2:27:47and undeservingness so be alert to that
2:27:50now the
2:27:51second adult manifestation of guilt is
2:27:54destructive
2:27:57self-criticism there is a line
2:28:01from one of the poets that says those to
2:28:04whom evil is done do evil in return
2:28:06children at a very early age sometimes
2:28:08at the age of two or three begin to run
2:28:09themselves down tear themselves down
2:28:11even to hit themselves and pH physically
2:28:13punish themselves if they're criticized
2:28:16enough they're always saying the
2:28:17equivalent of I'm not good enough or I'm
2:28:19not very good and they punish themselves
2:28:21so destructive self-criticism is a real
2:28:24symptom of an underlying feeling of
2:28:27guilt and inadequacy number three is
2:28:30easily manipulated by
2:28:32guilt people can pull your guilt strings
2:28:36very simple as a matter of fact we find
2:28:39that there are two types of people in
2:28:40the world there's guilt throwers and
2:28:42there's guilt catchers and these people
2:28:45are invariably attracted to each other
2:28:47and of course the guilt thrower is the
2:28:49person who I identified with a parent
2:28:50who threw the guilt the guilt catcher is
2:28:52the person who identified with a parent
2:28:54who caught the guilt but the guilt
2:28:56throwers and the guilt catchers then get
2:28:57together uh they balance nicely they
2:29:00settle down they raise new generations
2:29:02of little guilt throwers and guilt
2:29:03catchers but you can tell that you're
2:29:05easily manipulated by guilt uh because
2:29:08you've been conditioned to be responded
2:29:10to your boss can pull your guilt string
2:29:12a person on a bus can pull your guilt
2:29:13string the airline uh flight attendant
2:29:15can pull your guilt string and be very
2:29:17very alert to this the third
2:29:18manifestation or the fourth
2:29:20manifestation of guilt is that you use
2:29:22it you use guilt and blame
2:29:26generously why well it's been worked on
2:29:29you you work it on them I mean Fair
2:29:31exchange is is a fair deal you use guilt
2:29:34and blame generously it becomes the
2:29:35basis of your relationships with other
2:29:37people is when something goes wrong you
2:29:39pin the wrap on them something goes
2:29:40wrong you blame someone instantly
2:29:41there's a problem you look around to see
2:29:43who's to blame there's they did an
2:29:44interesting
2:29:45experiment uh in Candid Camera a few
2:29:48years ago where they took and they put a
2:29:50patch of ice on a sidewalk where it
2:29:52shouldn't be it wasn't that cold but
2:29:53they froze the ice and then they watched
2:29:55how people would react as they walked
2:29:57along and they'd be walking along and
2:29:59they'd hit this patch of ice in it and
2:30:01they grab their balance and they thr
2:30:02around the first thing they do is they
2:30:03look at the person closest to them and
2:30:05they glare at them as if they're Furious
2:30:07in other words they looked at somebody
2:30:09to blame now if there wasn't anybody
2:30:11within 10 or 15 ft they would get their
2:30:14balance back again they look around
2:30:15there'd be nobody around them and they
2:30:17kick the ground and stomp on the ground
2:30:19and walk away you see our natural
2:30:20tendency whenever anything goes wrong is
2:30:23to look for someone or something to
2:30:24blame especially if we've been brought
2:30:25up being blamed continuously and the
2:30:28fifth manifestation is what is called
2:30:30victim
2:30:31language now remember we talked about
2:30:33the law of concentration says whatever
2:30:35you dwell upon grows It also says that
2:30:37if you use victim language you keep the
2:30:39guilt alive you reinforce it you build
2:30:41it you grow it you fertilize it victim
2:30:43language is language like I can't I
2:30:46can't I can't whenever you say I can't I
2:30:48can't I can't you're sending a message
2:30:50to the subconscious mind the
2:30:52subconscious mind picks up that you are
2:30:54helpless that you're not in control that
2:30:56you're a victim and so when you actually
2:30:58come to want to do something the
2:30:59subconscious mind just feeds back your
2:31:01own command and says you can't you can't
2:31:04the second thing is you say I have to I
2:31:05have to again I have no control I'm not
2:31:08in charge but here's two other
2:31:10expressions of victim language that you
2:31:11got to be careful of and it's this one
2:31:14I'll try I'll try whatever it is I'll
2:31:18try what is the words I'll TR I mean
2:31:20well let me tell you what they mean they
2:31:22mean I'm going to fail and I'm telling
2:31:24you in advance so that you can't come
2:31:26back on me in other words you say well
2:31:28I'll try to be there on time but what
2:31:30you're saying is I'll probably be late
2:31:32and there's no point you can't come back
2:31:33on me because I said I'd try whenever a
2:31:35person says I'll try they are excusing
2:31:38failure in advance if you went to the
2:31:41doctor and the doctor did an examination
2:31:43and checked you all over and looked at
2:31:44you and came back and said well geez
2:31:45you're in terrible condition we're going
2:31:47to have to do triple bypass surgery and
2:31:48get you over to the hospital right now
2:31:50I'm surprised you even made it in and
2:31:51you say well geez doctor I sure hope
2:31:53you'll do a good job and he says I'll
2:31:55try and he says I'll try he said wait a
2:31:58second maybe I got to get a second
2:31:59opinion you go to a lawyer you you're
2:32:01charged with something you go to a
2:32:02lawyer and you present your case to the
2:32:03lawyer say look will you defend me he
2:32:04says I'll try what is he saying he's
2:32:07saying look I've looked at the case and
2:32:09from what I see there's not much hope
2:32:11but I'll take it on anyway I'll try and
2:32:12then they're the ones that try to get
2:32:13you to pay in advance
2:32:15too another set of words that you
2:32:18mustn't use by the way with regard to
2:32:20I'll try what you do is you say I'll do
2:32:21it or I won't do it not I'll try if ever
2:32:24and in our business we run a very very
2:32:26active business whenever we call
2:32:28somebody up and we ask them can we get
2:32:30this or that they say well I'll try to
2:32:32have it to you by Friday or I'll try to
2:32:34get it done on time we instantly know
2:32:36that they're telling us that their want
2:32:38off the hook they're not going to do it
2:32:40and so we never let anybody get away
2:32:41with I'll try we say it has to be done
2:32:44or not and we want a guarantee and if
2:32:46necessary we'll go and pick it up but
2:32:48whenever they say I'll try what they're
2:32:49doing is they SLU you off so be alert to
2:32:51that and the other words are I
2:32:54wish I wish as they say is a desire or a
2:32:58goal with no energy behind it I wish
2:33:01what does I wish
2:33:03mean I wish means
2:33:08that I would like to have something but
2:33:11I know I never can when you say I wish I
2:33:14could lose weight what does it mean the
2:33:16unspoken words are but I know I can't
2:33:20why can't you because of the excuses
2:33:22that you have and the metabolism that
2:33:25you have and the problem and so on
2:33:26there's always reasons because you have
2:33:28to go out and so on I wish I could quit
2:33:29smoking I wish I could get fit I wish I
2:33:33wish I wish whenever you use the words I
2:33:35wish you signal to the subconscious that
2:33:37this is something that you do not
2:33:39believe it's possible for you to achieve
2:33:41or acquire the subconscious then
2:33:43completely discards it as a goal and
2:33:45gives you no energy no motivation no
2:33:48drive no desire to accomplish it so be
2:33:51very very alert to victim language be
2:33:53alert to the expression yes but oh I do
2:33:56it yes but or someone says why don't you
2:33:59do this you say yes but the word but by
2:34:02the way is the great ER raser when a
2:34:04person says you know you could you could
2:34:05certainly increase your income or
2:34:06increase your output or be a better
2:34:08person or happier or lose weight or
2:34:10whatever else have happened to be and
2:34:11you say yes but what you're saying is
2:34:13you're erasing the whole statement that
2:34:16has gone before you send a message to
2:34:18your subconscious that says
2:34:20no possibility make no effort Focus no
2:34:24energy commit no capacity to the
2:34:26accomplishment of this goal so people
2:34:28who've been brought up feeling guilty
2:34:30have five qualities or five adult
2:34:32manifestations one is they feel inferior
2:34:35they feel inadequate they feel like they
2:34:37don't deserve good things to happen to
2:34:39them you're very alert to that number
2:34:41two is they run themselves down
2:34:44continually they use destructive
2:34:45self-criticism number three is they use
2:34:47guilt and blame on themselves and and on
2:34:50others number four is they're easily
2:34:52manipulated by guilt number five they
2:34:54use victim language so let's go and say
2:34:55how do we get rid of
2:34:57guilt isn't it amazing how this board
2:34:59just clears isn't that amazing it's it's
2:35:01absolutely Vanishing we have a sort of a
2:35:03magic W that we wave when I go over and
2:35:05sit on that desk okay how do we rid
2:35:07ourselves of guilt ridding yourself of
2:35:14guilt here's the
2:35:17process it's got a few really critical
2:35:21steps number one top of the list
2:35:24eliminate destructive
2:35:26self-criticism eliminate destructive
2:35:31self-criticism in other words never say
2:35:34anything destructively critical about
2:35:36yourself just don't say it here's the
2:35:39basic rule since your subconscious
2:35:40accepts whatever you say as true as
2:35:42being a command what you do is you don't
2:35:45say anything about yourself that you do
2:35:47not sincerely desire to be true don't
2:35:49say I'm fat I'm tired don't say I can't
2:35:53or I have to don't say anything unless
2:35:55you want it to be true remember the
2:35:56words that come after the word I are the
2:35:59words that your subconscious records as
2:36:01commands except for when you say I wish
2:36:03or I'll try so eliminate destructive
2:36:06self-criticism only speak in positive
2:36:08terms about yourself I like myself I
2:36:10like myself I can do it I will do it I
2:36:12choose to do it but not I can't or or so
2:36:15on number two
2:36:17is refuse to be manipulated by
2:36:21guilt refuse to be manipulated by
2:36:27guilt because every time you allow
2:36:30somebody to manipulate you by guilt you
2:36:33know what happens you reinforce and make
2:36:35stronger the effect or the influence of
2:36:38guilt in your life now when I grew up I
2:36:41grew up in a family that was greatly
2:36:44influenced by negative religion as a
2:36:46matter of fact my mother uh God bless
2:36:48her had a black belt in guilts and she
2:36:50did a superb superb job on it and I took
2:36:53me years to get over it when I got
2:36:54married to Barbara she'd also come from
2:36:56the same sort of family so we have to
2:36:58come back and we have a beautiful
2:37:00response whenever one of the other of us
2:37:02falls back into Old patterns we say
2:37:04you're not trying to make me feel guilty
2:37:05are you you're not trying to make me
2:37:07feel guilty are you that's a beautiful
2:37:09way to do it just say you're not trying
2:37:10to make me feel guilty are you and
2:37:11refuse to let people manipulate you
2:37:13using guilt number
2:37:15three is refuse to use guilt and blame
2:37:19and announce that you're not going to
2:37:21that you're not going to use
2:37:25it refuse to use it on other people and
2:37:28make let your children and let your
2:37:30spouse say the same thing you're not
2:37:31trying to make me feel guilty are you
2:37:32and just keep repeating it over and over
2:37:33again I say well and sometimes they say
2:37:35yes I am you say well it's not going to
2:37:37work it's not going to work anymore you
2:37:39see Guilt only works as long as you
2:37:42don't know that it's being used on you
2:37:44number four
2:37:48is what we call the
2:37:50law of
2:37:53forgiveness this is the most important
2:37:55of all it's really the core it's the
2:37:57guts of this whole session the law of
2:38:00forgiveness simply says that you are
2:38:02mentally healthy to the degree to which
2:38:04you can freely forgive and forget
2:38:07grievances against you that your ability
2:38:10to forgive others is the key determinant
2:38:12of your happiness and SEC success in
2:38:14life your ability to to forgive others
2:38:16is the key way to eliminate guilt your
2:38:18willingness to forgive others and to let
2:38:20go past grievances is the single most
2:38:23important determinant of whether or not
2:38:24you are a fully integrated fully
2:38:26functioning adult human being because
2:38:29the tendency to blame and to hold
2:38:31grudges is a childlike pathological
2:38:34tendency that is possessed by all people
2:38:36who are mentally ill the ability to let
2:38:39go of grudges to forgive freely is the
2:38:41mark of the truly enlightened human
2:38:44being now you accept that as true
2:38:46there's four people that you have to
2:38:47forgive number one is forgive your
2:38:50parents forgive your parents for
2:38:53everything that they've ever done that
2:38:54hurt you most of our research shows that
2:38:56almost all of our adult problems Trace
2:38:58back to being unwilling or unable to
2:39:00forgive our parents something that they
2:39:02did that hurt us forgive them 100% write
2:39:05to them telephone them tell them or at
2:39:08the very least forgive them in your
2:39:09heart but forgive your parents number
2:39:12two is forgive others forgive everyone
2:39:15else forgive everyone who has ever hurt
2:39:18you in any way for anything just let it
2:39:22go now some people say well I can't
2:39:23forgive that person because what a
2:39:24terrible thing they did to me remember
2:39:26this that forgiveness is perfectly
2:39:28selfish for forgiveness has nothing
2:39:31whatever to
2:39:32do with the other person it has only to
2:39:35do with your peace of mind and with your
2:39:37assuring your own mental Integrity
2:39:39number three forgive yourself forgive
2:39:42yourself for every Wicked senseless
2:39:44brainless fully stupid thing you ever
2:39:46did because every single person has done
2:39:48Wicked senseless brainless foolish
2:39:50ridiculous things but forgive yourself
2:39:53100% And finally the last part of this
2:39:56is if you have done something to hurt
2:39:59someone else go and
2:40:02apologize it's amazing how many lives
2:40:04are ruined year after year by people who
2:40:07do not have the intestinal fortitude the
2:40:10guts the courage to go and say I'm sorry
2:40:14one of the most important things in life
2:40:15is to develop character we develop
2:40:18character to the degree to which we do
2:40:19things which are hard for us to which
2:40:21the degree to which we do things which
2:40:23we know are right even though they're
2:40:25difficult and especially when they're
2:40:26difficult emotionally and the key to
2:40:29getting rid of guilt the key to being a
2:40:32totally fully functioning person is to
2:40:34forgive others forgive people that
2:40:36you've been in relationships with
2:40:38forgive previous employers forgive
2:40:40friends who've hurt you forget forgive
2:40:42Investments that went wrong forgive
2:40:44bosses that fired you forgive your
2:40:46parents forgive everybody develop an
2:40:49attitude toward life that you refuse to
2:40:51hold a grudge against anybody just
2:40:54repeat over and over again I forgive him
2:40:56or her for everything I forgive him or
2:40:59her for everything I forgive them for
2:41:01everything and Let It Go the key to
2:41:04freeing yourself from negative emotions
2:41:07is to absolutely refuse to carry any
2:41:09negativity forward remember it's a
2:41:12perfectly selfish act you can be as
2:41:14selfish as you want the act of
2:41:16forgiveness frees you and liberates the
2:41:18other person and guarantees that you
2:41:20will move rapidly toward the Fulfillment
2:41:23of your
2:41:31potential session eight the worry buster
2:41:35one of the great aims of life is to
2:41:36achieve your own peace of mind and the
2:41:38reason why so few people have peace of
2:41:40mind is because they don't set it as an
2:41:42important enough goal and if they do
2:41:44they don't take the time to understand
2:41:46what stands between them and peace of
2:41:48mind now we talk talked earlier about
2:41:50one of the major obstacles or major
2:41:52pairs of obstacles are negative habit
2:41:54patterns the fear of failure the fear of
2:41:56rejection those Rob us of an enormous
2:41:59amount of peace of mind we also talked
2:42:01about feelings of guilt feelings of
2:42:03inadequacy feelings of worthlessness
2:42:05feelings of undeservingness and so on
2:42:07they also Rob us of peace of mind and I
2:42:09want to talk in this session about the
2:42:12last if you like key to this discussion
2:42:15on negative emotions what we call
2:42:17negative imagination now the word
2:42:19negative imagination comes from an
2:42:21extensive body of literature that was
2:42:23written at the beginning of of the
2:42:24century but they found that negative
2:42:27imagination is something that we create
2:42:31in
2:42:32ourselves that causes us an enormous
2:42:34amount of of of stress and distress if
2:42:37you like negative imagination creates
2:42:41fear and one of the best definitions of
2:42:43fear that I've seen lately is what is
2:42:45called
2:42:46fantasized experiences appearing real
2:42:52fantasized experiences appearing real in
2:42:55other words these are experiences which
2:42:57we create in our minds and our
2:43:01imaginations and we dwell upon them and
2:43:03the more we dwell upon them the more
2:43:05real they become to us it's like I have
2:43:07three little children and if I let them
2:43:09watch a scary movie even if they insist
2:43:11upon it they begin to feel that there
2:43:13are scary creatures under their beds and
2:43:15in their cupboards and so on is these
2:43:17fantasized experiences become real and
2:43:19at one time with little Michael we
2:43:21couldn't get him to sleep in his bedroom
2:43:23at all because he was convinced that
2:43:24there were monsters in there what do we
2:43:26call negative imagination well another
2:43:28word for it is
2:43:30worry worry is a sustained form of fear
2:43:35caused by indecision worry is a
2:43:38sustained form of fear caused by
2:43:41indecision now what does that mean it
2:43:44means that when we make decisions we do
2:43:47away with worry a study was done some
2:43:49years ago where many thousands of people
2:43:52were surveyed and asked what were they
2:43:54worrying about at the current time and
2:43:56they accumulated it all up and they
2:43:57found this is what people worry about
2:43:5940% of the worries that people
2:44:02had were things that never
2:44:06happened when they went back later they
2:44:09found that the things they were worried
2:44:10about would never happen they were going
2:44:11to be late or they lose the job or they
2:44:14uh wouldn't work out on a date or
2:44:15relationship the 30 next figure 30% were
2:44:19things that were in the past that had
2:44:21already happened and nothing could be
2:44:22done about there were 12% of
2:44:25worries were worries about health in
2:44:28most cases needless needless worries I
2:44:31thought that they had a pain or an
2:44:33illness or an ailment or something else
2:44:34it didn't turn out to be true 10% of the
2:44:36things people worried about were Petty
2:44:38worries they were worried about whether
2:44:40or not they had enough change in the
2:44:41parking meter whether or not um someone
2:44:44would phone them really irrelevant
2:44:46worries only
2:44:478% of the
2:44:49worries were about anything substantial
2:44:52at all and of those 8% half or 4% were
2:44:57totally outside the control of the
2:44:58person they were worried about whether
2:44:59red China would uh invade Northern
2:45:02Vietnam and things like that and the
2:45:03things that the person could have
2:45:04nothing to do about anyway so basically
2:45:06the research shows that as much as
2:45:1096% of everything that we worry about or
2:45:13more is irrelevant it never happens it's
2:45:17not worth worrying about at all but
2:45:18where does worry come from well worry
2:45:20comes from a worry mentality as a matter
2:45:21of fact if you were brought up in a
2:45:23family where your mother or father was a
2:45:24worrier they worried all the time then
2:45:25you're probably a worrior too it's a
2:45:27it's a conditioned response you saw them
2:45:29worrying you want to be like your mommy
2:45:31and daddy because they're the most
2:45:32important people in your world so you
2:45:34worry too and I've seen little kids four
2:45:35and five years old that are really good
2:45:37accomplished worriors and they and their
2:45:39parents will sit together and worry and
2:45:41worry even though there's nothing
2:45:42involved but it's fantasized experiences
2:45:45appearing real our job is to eliminate
2:45:49and I'd like to give you two or three
2:45:51simple ideas that you can use number one
2:45:54which is one of the most popular of all
2:45:56is just simply this it's live one day at
2:45:58a time live one day at a
2:46:02time is don't worry about might might
2:46:05happen tomorrow don't worry about what
2:46:07may happen a year from now or six months
2:46:09from now just do the very best you can
2:46:11right now there's a beautiful line from
2:46:13Teddy Roosevelt he said something to the
2:46:15effect that do what you can where you
2:46:18are with what you have and don't worry
2:46:20about the rest do what you can where you
2:46:23are with what you have and don't worry
2:46:26about the rest live one day at a time
2:46:28just worry about getting through today
2:46:29and taking care of today and as the
2:46:31Bible says let the tomorrow take care of
2:46:34itself sufficient unto the day are the
2:46:35are the cares thereof number two key to
2:46:39dealing with worry and I have a an
2:46:40enormous number of challenges that I
2:46:42face in my business life is get the
2:46:45facts this is so important get the facts
2:46:49not the apparent facts not the quick
2:46:52facts not the facts that seem obvious
2:46:55but get the real facts take the time to
2:46:59look into a situation and find out what
2:47:02the real truth of the matter is I have
2:47:04found that most worry situations
2:47:07evaporate if you get enough facts you
2:47:09hear that somebody has done something or
2:47:11not done something you hear about a
2:47:13change in your business or your personal
2:47:14life or change in one of your
2:47:15relationships find out call the person
2:47:19find find from the right information
2:47:21Source the answer and you'll often find
2:47:24that the facts eliminate the worry most
2:47:27people who worry are people who would
2:47:28much rather worry than take the time to
2:47:31ask and find out what exactly is going
2:47:35on ask people do your research do your
2:47:38reading do your homework get the facts
2:47:40one of the most
2:47:42important requirements by the way for
2:47:44your success in business or any other
2:47:46thing any other field of endeavor is to
2:47:48get the facts that you need so that your
2:47:51answers are accurate and up to date now
2:47:53the third method is what I call the
2:47:56worry Buster the worry Buster is a word
2:47:58or an expression that came from one of
2:48:00our graduates he said this expression
2:48:02literally saved his business and saved
2:48:04his mental health it's one of the
2:48:06simplest of all techniques and it is
2:48:08just Dynamite it consists of four steps
2:48:11all right step number one is when you
2:48:14have something on your mind Define it
2:48:16clearly in writing
2:48:18Define it clearly in
2:48:22writing sit down take the time to write
2:48:26it out and say what exactly is it that
2:48:29I'm worried about and sit down and write
2:48:30it out I am worried about this and
2:48:33describe the situation exactly the way
2:48:35you see it in medicine they say that
2:48:37accurate diagnosis is 50% of the Cure
2:48:41accurate diagnosis defining it clearly
2:48:43in writing is 50% of the Cure now an
2:48:46important Point here is sometimes when
2:48:48you have seems to be an overwhelming
2:48:50problem you have more than one problem
2:48:52you have what is called a cluster
2:48:54situation where you have two or three or
2:48:56four problems all together if you define
2:48:58it clearly in writing sometimes you can
2:49:00write it out 1 2 3 4 that there are
2:49:03several little problems that are all
2:49:06together that are worrying you and
2:49:08sometimes if you eliminate one of those
2:49:10difficulties the rest of them evaporate
2:49:13sometimes one of a one problem in a
2:49:15cluster of problems is the key and all
2:49:19the others become irrelevant so be alert
2:49:20to that but Define it clearly in writing
2:49:22number two is once you define it clearly
2:49:25this is the key determine the worst
2:49:27possible
2:49:28outcome determine the worst possible
2:49:31outcome in other words ask
2:49:33yourself what is the worst possible
2:49:35thing that could happen as a result of
2:49:38this
2:49:39situation left to itself if the worst
2:49:41happened what would it be determine the
2:49:43worst possible outcome now an
2:49:45interesting thing happens here we find
2:49:47that in worry we are not worried or
2:49:51stressed by the event an event does not
2:49:53trouble us what troubles us is
2:49:56anticipation of an event and the
2:49:59resistance that we put up
2:50:01psychologically wishing hoping praying
2:50:03that it doesn't take place if
2:50:06psychologically we determine the worst
2:50:08possible outcome in writing and you say
2:50:10the worst possible thing that can happen
2:50:12is this and we make it concrete and we
2:50:15put it down on paper you will find a
2:50:17remarkable thing you're worries
2:50:19disappear they just seem to evaporate as
2:50:22soon as we Define the worst possible
2:50:23outcome the stress comes from not
2:50:26wanting to face what it could be we talk
2:50:28about this later but it's the
2:50:29psychological phenomena of denial we
2:50:32deny we don't want to put off for
2:50:33instance you have an
2:50:34investment and the investment is getting
2:50:37worse and worse so you have to say to
2:50:38yourself what's the worst thing that can
2:50:39happen with this investment and the
2:50:41worst thing is that you lose it all once
2:50:43you say I lose it all suddenly you're
2:50:46not so worried about it anymore because
2:50:48you know it just may happen the third
2:50:51step or let me go back a second with
2:50:53regard to a relationship sometimes we're
2:50:55in a relationship that's very unhappy
2:50:57and we say what's the worst thing that
2:50:58can happen here the worst thing that can
2:51:00happen here is that you lose the
2:51:01relationship the relationship disappears
2:51:03then you have to ask yourself will that
2:51:05kill me will the in loss of the
2:51:08investment kill me will the loss of the
2:51:09job kill me will the loss of the
2:51:11relationship kill me and the answer of
2:51:12course is no you will recover from the
2:51:14loss of almost anything so number three
2:51:17by the way there are many people who get
2:51:19and have the signs of cancer but they
2:51:21won't go to a doctor because they don't
2:51:22want to know the stress of not knowing
2:51:25actually exacerbates the course of the
2:51:27disease and finally when they do have to
2:51:29go to a doctor it's gone so far the
2:51:31doctor can't save them but the stress of
2:51:33not facing the possibility keeps them
2:51:35away from a doctor long past the point
2:51:37where a doctor could help them number
2:51:38three is resolve to accept the worst
2:51:41should it
2:51:42occur resolve to accept the worst should
2:51:46it occur
2:51:48this is not passive and this is not
2:51:51fatalistic just say if nothing could be
2:51:54done and this were to
2:51:56happen I will accept it I have a saying
2:52:00which I use that that is what cannot be
2:52:02cured must be endured what cannot be
2:52:04cured must be endured so you say well
2:52:06all right if this happens I'll accept it
2:52:08and I'll learn to live with it I'm not
2:52:10going to let it break me I'm not going
2:52:11to let it kill me and then number four
2:52:14is begin immediately to improve upon the
2:52:16worst begin
2:52:19immediately to improve upon the
2:52:22worst what does that mean it means you
2:52:24now accepted that it might
2:52:27happen and you've now decided that you
2:52:29will live with it should it occur and
2:52:32now you do everything you possibly can
2:52:34to work back and make sure that the
2:52:35worst doesn't occur in business by the
2:52:37way this is called the Minimax regret
2:52:39analysis it's minimizing the maximum
2:52:43regret in other words it's saying what
2:52:45is the worst thing that can happen and
2:52:47how can I minimize that maximum regret
2:52:50this Minimax technique is a tremendous
2:52:51technique because it clears your mind
2:52:53considerably it's and one of the best
2:52:55ways to use it is this really neat
2:52:57method take a piece of paper draw a line
2:52:59down the center and a line across the
2:53:01top and then work down the page and WR
2:53:03on this side write wpo I'm sorry no
2:53:06right right on this page your definition
2:53:08in other words this is a clear
2:53:10definition of what's bothering you on
2:53:12the top of this page you write wpo worst
2:53:15possible outcome and then you write one
2:53:17and you say I'm worried about this and
2:53:18you write it out clearly and then you
2:53:19write one you say the worst possible
2:53:21outcome is this two I'm worried about
2:53:23this two worst possible outcome is this
2:53:26and so on you'll find that every single
2:53:28time you do this the problem just
2:53:30evaporates and most not all of course
2:53:32but most of the stress or strain
2:53:34disappear as your mind goes clear and
2:53:36with a clear mind you can then deal with
2:53:38it effectively now the final point with
2:53:41regard to this whole idea of worry and
2:53:43negative imagination is what is the
2:53:46antidote what is the antidote to
2:53:49worry what do you think it is well it's
2:53:52simply this it is purposeful action the
2:53:55only real antidote to worry is
2:53:57purposeful action everything that gets
2:53:59you to the point where you can take
2:54:01purposeful action where you can move and
2:54:04as Shakespeare says take arms against
2:54:06the Sea of troubles and by so doing end
2:54:08them anything that gets you to the point
2:54:10where you can take purposeful action
2:54:12will eliminate the worry why because of
2:54:15what we call the law of substitution you
2:54:17cannot be working on a problem or a
2:54:21situation and thinking and acting
2:54:25purposefully to resolve it and still
2:54:27worry about it simultaneously worry
2:54:29almost always comes when you have too
2:54:31much time on your hands worry is a form
2:54:35of negative goal setting remember we
2:54:37talked about the law of concentration
2:54:39says whatever you dwell upon grows well
2:54:42whenever you have a worry situation what
2:54:45do you find yourself doing what you find
2:54:47yourself doing is thinking about talking
2:54:50about dwelling upon vividly imagining
2:54:53exactly what you don't want by the law
2:54:55of expectations says whatever you expect
2:54:57will come into your life that which I
2:54:59greatly feared has come upon me is what
2:55:01it says in the Book of Job or the law of
2:55:03attraction says you will attract into
2:55:05your life the people and circumstances
2:55:06in harmony with your dominant thoughts
2:55:09the reason why we're taking a whole
2:55:10module to talk about worry is this is
2:55:12that there are some people who don't
2:55:14worry about anything this method by the
2:55:17way
2:55:19of determining the worry worst possible
2:55:21outcome the worry Buster is also a
2:55:23tremendous method for decision-making
2:55:25when you go into any situation where you
2:55:27have to make a decision one way or
2:55:29another the first question you should
2:55:30sit and ask once you've analyzed it is
2:55:32what's the worst thing that can happen I
2:55:34remember the great J Paul Getty who at
2:55:35one time was one of the richest men in
2:55:37the world said that this method of
2:55:39determining the worst possible
2:55:41downside was used by him as a
2:55:44decision-making method into every
2:55:46business deal he went to what when what
2:55:48he would do is he would say no it's the
2:55:49worst thing that can happen and then he
2:55:50would make sure that the worst didn't
2:55:52happen so make the decision right now
2:55:55that you're going to eliminate worry
2:55:57fantasized experiences appearing real
2:55:59that you're going to accept the worst
2:56:00possible outcome should it occur and now
2:56:03get busy to everything humanly possible
2:56:06to take constructive action to eliminate
2:56:09the worry situation and do away with it
2:56:12that's the key to eliminating the final
2:56:15of the worst of our negative emotions
2:56:19this is the end of side two please fast
2:56:21forward the tape to the end to que up
2:56:23side 1 for your next
2:56:29[Music]
2:56:33listening Brian Tracy
2:56:38present Phoenix
2:56:40[Music]
2:56:51session nine programming your mind for
2:56:53Success everything you are or ever will
2:56:56be is a result of what is going on
2:56:58inside your mind this is the most
2:57:01awesome concept that I've ever
2:57:03discovered that anybody has ever
2:57:04discovered that you can dramatically
2:57:06change the outer realities of your life
2:57:08by changing your inner attitudes of Mind
2:57:11as William James said we talked earlier
2:57:13about the various laws the law of belief
2:57:15that your beliefs do become your
2:57:17realities that you actually see the
2:57:18world in terms of what you believe to be
2:57:21true about it beliefs create the actual
2:57:24fact as a man thinketh in his heart or
2:57:26as a woman woman thinketh in her heart
2:57:29so are they we also know that law of
2:57:31Correspondence says that your outer
2:57:33world will always correspond with your
2:57:35inner world that means that there is
2:57:38something in your inner world that
2:57:40corresponds to everything in your outer
2:57:42world the great EMT fox said this when
2:57:44he talked about the mental equivalent he
2:57:46said that everything in your outer life
2:57:48has a mental equivalent in your inner
2:57:49life anything that you want to see
2:57:51different in your outer life you must
2:57:52first provide the mental equivalent
2:57:55internally and the Law of Attraction
2:57:57says that anything that you keep holding
2:57:59your mind on a continuing basis you draw
2:58:01to you that your dominant thoughts set
2:58:04up a force field of energy that draws
2:58:06into your life the people and
2:58:07circumstances that you need I mention
2:58:09that because of this many people say
2:58:12well how will I get a better job or a
2:58:13better relationship how will I find the
2:58:15information I need or or uh get the educ
2:58:18and so on you don't have to worry about
2:58:19it all you have to do is get it crystal
2:58:21clear in your mind and you trigger into
2:58:23and get into the flow of these Universal
2:58:25mental laws and everything that you need
2:58:27will be brought to you exactly as you
2:58:29need it exactly when you need it and
2:58:32exactly in the form that you need it and
2:58:34we're going to talk in this session we
2:58:35talked about self-concept before we said
2:58:38that your self-concept is that bundle of
2:58:40beliefs inside that determines
2:58:43everything that happens to you your
2:58:44self-concept is the sum total result of
2:58:46every single piece of information that
2:58:48you've ever taken in about yourself or
2:58:51your world accepted as true it becomes
2:58:55part of your self-concept and your
2:58:56self-concept is the corresponding inner
2:58:59mechanism that determines what happens
2:59:01to you what does this mean it means that
2:59:03all change begins with a change in the
2:59:05self-concept all change Begins by you
2:59:08taking in new information that changes
2:59:11your
2:59:12beliefs now beliefs are the hardest of
2:59:15all things to change because we defend
2:59:17them so vigorously we have to be willing
2:59:20to give up some of our self-limiting
2:59:22beliefs we have to be willing to look at
2:59:24our beliefs honestly remember we talked
2:59:26about self- knowledge we have to be
2:59:28willing to look at our beliefs honestly
2:59:30and say do these beliefs serve me is
2:59:33this what I want to be is this what I
2:59:36want to do is this the best that I can
2:59:38have and you begin to question your
2:59:40beliefs and change your self-concept by
2:59:42taking in new information that develops
2:59:45a new self-concept and that brings us to
2:59:47a concept called the psychology of
2:59:50becoming the psychology of becoming says
2:59:53that each one of us is in a continuous
2:59:56state of growth and change that your
2:59:58self-concepts and your beliefs are
2:59:59changing all the time for instance when
3:00:01you were a child you believe one set of
3:00:03things about the adult world when you
3:00:05were a teenager another when you were in
3:00:07your early 20s you believed another and
3:00:09as we grow and evolve we change our
3:00:11beliefs and our self-concept we change
3:00:13our self-image we change the way we see
3:00:15the world so we're in this process of
3:00:17Bec all the time it's going on it's
3:00:20almost like this it's it's like a tumble
3:00:21weed is that you are evolving and
3:00:23changing and growing all the time but
3:00:25always in the direction of your dominant
3:00:27goals always in the direction of what
3:00:29you are thinking about the most
3:00:31intensely at the time for instance an
3:00:33alcoholic or a drug addict is also
3:00:35evolving and changing in the direction
3:00:37of his or her dominant goals because
3:00:40that's what they think about all the
3:00:41time and if you want to evolve and grow
3:00:44rapidly you have to make those goals
3:00:47clear you have to make them sharp you
3:00:49have to make them intense and you have
3:00:51to dwell on them all the time sometimes
3:00:54you see people who are very successful
3:00:55at an early age but you'll find that
3:00:57those people had an obsession a total
3:01:00preoccupation with a particular area or
3:01:02field for a long time whereas other
3:01:05people who may be much older have never
3:01:07had an intense feeling or have never
3:01:09dwelled on anything they want to
3:01:10accomplish now there's two obstacles to
3:01:12this psychology of becoming number one
3:01:15is called homeostasis now homeostasis is
3:01:20the desire for consistency it is a
3:01:23natural desire within the human mind to
3:01:25stay constant with what has happened in
3:01:27the past if you like we like to maintain
3:01:29the status quo these are the people who
3:01:31say that's the way we've always done it
3:01:32this is the way we do it around here etc
3:01:35etc you must watch out for homeostasis
3:01:38because what it does is it causes your
3:01:40thinking to become rigid and inflexible
3:01:43and the other is called psychos
3:01:45sclerosis psychos sclerosis
3:01:49is simply a hardening of the
3:01:52attitudes a hardening of the attitudes
3:01:55people with psychos sclerosis developed
3:01:57what is called fixed ideas fixed ideas
3:01:59lead to rigidity and an unwillingness to
3:02:02change both of these lead to getting
3:02:04stuck in the comfort zone remember the
3:02:07natural tendency of all human behavior
3:02:09is for you to start doing something in a
3:02:11certain way and then get stuck in a
3:02:13comfort zone you get stuck in a comfort
3:02:16zone in a relationship even if you're
3:02:17not happy in a job even if you're not
3:02:19satisfied and with a particular level of
3:02:21income even if it's not enough you have
3:02:23to fight the comfort zone because the
3:02:25comfort zone very soon becomes a
3:02:27rut and they say that a rut becomes a
3:02:31grave and the only difference between a
3:02:32rut and a grave is the depth or another
3:02:36way that it's been put is that a grave
3:02:37is simply a rut or a rut is simply a
3:02:40grave where the ends kicked out so be
3:02:42very alert to that because the great
3:02:44majority of people in our society tend
3:02:46and evolve natur to get into a comfort
3:02:49zone to become very rigid Defenders of
3:02:51the status quo to become very hardened
3:02:54in their attitudes they get into this
3:02:55comfort zone They fall into this rut and
3:02:57even if it would be good for them they
3:02:59don't
3:03:00change now this leads us to the two
3:03:03great powers that control everything
3:03:05that happens to you and the first power
3:03:08is the Power of Love The Power of
3:03:12Love is the power that shapes your
3:03:14personality and shapes your destiny The
3:03:17Power of Love simply says that
3:03:19everything that we do is either to get
3:03:22love or to compensate for the lack of
3:03:25love we said earlier that children's
3:03:28entire personality is formed by the
3:03:30quality and quantity of love that they
3:03:32get and that all adult problems are as
3:03:34the result of Love withheld love
3:03:36withheld from our parents and perhaps
3:03:37love withheld from people when we grow
3:03:39up the other power is the power of
3:03:42suggestion now the power of suggestion
3:03:44works on us all of our Lives the power
3:03:46of suggestion is EXT ex strong what it
3:03:49does is it begins working on us almost
3:03:52from the time that we're born sometimes
3:03:53from before birth and the power of
3:03:55suggestion shapes us it means that every
3:03:58single thought you think everything you
3:04:00hear everything that you see touch taste
3:04:02or smell everything that affects you in
3:04:06any way has an effect on your
3:04:08personality we say it this way we say
3:04:10everything
3:04:11counts everything counts and especially
3:04:14when you become an adult remember that
3:04:16everything counts
3:04:19now the average adult in America watches
3:04:2220 to 25 hours of Television every week
3:04:26the average Senior Citizen Watches about
3:04:287 hours of Television average child
3:04:30watches three or four hours of
3:04:31Television per day do you know that the
3:04:33average Chief Executive Officer of major
3:04:35American corporations watches less than
3:04:38five hours per week now let me ask you a
3:04:40very simple question do you think
3:04:42there's a correlation between the number
3:04:44of hours that a person watches
3:04:46television and how successful they are
3:04:48in life do you think that the suggestive
3:04:50influences books magazines tapes courses
3:04:53seminars people television programs and
3:04:56so on that you watch listen to read
3:04:58associate with on an ongoing basis do
3:05:00you think these suggestive influences
3:05:02are having any effect on your future let
3:05:05me just put it this way everything does
3:05:08count and you have to ask yourself this
3:05:10question I learned this many years ago
3:05:12is ask yourself this question what is it
3:05:14that you want in life once you've asked
3:05:16yourself what it is you want in life
3:05:18then you can look at around your world
3:05:20and you can determine what is right for
3:05:22you and what is wrong for you what does
3:05:25that mean it means that everything that
3:05:27moves you toward what you want is right
3:05:30and everything that moves you away from
3:05:32what you want is wrong but everything
3:05:35counts well I have a good friend who
3:05:37goes on a diet on a regular basis and
3:05:40every so often I catch him eating
3:05:44cheesecake and sometimes he's eating two
3:05:46pieces of cheesecake with l lunch and I
3:05:48say to him I said I thought you were on
3:05:49a diet I said I thought you only eat
3:05:51fresh fruits and vegetables and and
3:05:53natural foods and he saids sure he said
3:05:55well I said what about the cheesecake he
3:05:57said well I don't count that do you know
3:05:59how many people sit at home and watch
3:06:00television three or four hours a night
3:06:02who want to be successful who read the
3:06:04comic strips and the sports Pages who
3:06:07read junky magazines or nothing at all
3:06:09listen to the radio don't do anything
3:06:10with their time and their minds they say
3:06:12but I want to be successful I want to be
3:06:13more successful I said well what about
3:06:15all these things that you're doing to
3:06:16waste your time they said well I don't
3:06:17count that
3:06:19unfortunately nature counts everything
3:06:21so this brings us to some laws that I
3:06:25want to share with you the first law is
3:06:26the law of habit now these are also
3:06:29mental laws the law of
3:06:32habit is very similar to the law of
3:06:36inertia the law of inertia says that a
3:06:38body in at rest tends to remain at rest
3:06:41unless acted upon by an outside force it
3:06:43also sends that the body in motion tends
3:06:45to remain in motion unless acted upon by
3:06:47outside force the law of habit says that
3:06:50in the absence of a specific decision on
3:06:53your part to change some aspect of your
3:06:56life the natural tendency will be to go
3:06:59on the same way
3:07:03indefinitely as a time management
3:07:05specialist once said The more you do of
3:07:08what you're doing the more you'll get of
3:07:11what you've got so you have to look at
3:07:13what you've got and look at what you're
3:07:15doing and saying is this what you want
3:07:18you will go on indefinitely in the same
3:07:21direction unless you make a very
3:07:23concrete specific decision to change
3:07:26also there's another law it's called The
3:07:28Law of
3:07:30emotion and by the way before I get into
3:07:32the law of emotion let me say this that
3:07:34about 95% of everything that we do is by
3:07:36habit that the only major difference
3:07:38between successful people and failures
3:07:40is that successful people have success
3:07:42habits and failures have failure habits
3:07:44you've heard for example you've heard
3:07:45the old saying early to bed and early to
3:07:46rise they say makes a man healthy
3:07:48wealthy and wise well why is that why is
3:07:50it that so many successful people get up
3:07:52early in the morning it's because they
3:07:54get a jump on the day it's also because
3:07:56it forces them to go to bed earlier at
3:07:57night so they don't waste the evenings
3:07:59when they're the tiredest and least
3:08:01productive so you find that over and
3:08:03over again successful men and women are
3:08:05early to bed and early to rise they have
3:08:06a success habit why is it that people
3:08:09don't go to bed early or don't get up
3:08:11early because they're too lazy they're
3:08:13too undisciplined they don't have goals
3:08:15that they want badly enough they do not
3:08:17have success habits 95% of your success
3:08:20is going to be determined by the type of
3:08:22habits you develop and if you have good
3:08:24habits you're going to be successful in
3:08:26spite of anything else the law of
3:08:28emotion says simply this it says that
3:08:31every decision that you make is based on
3:08:34emotion is it we used to say over and
3:08:36over again that uh people are 90%
3:08:39emotional and 10% logical well one of
3:08:41the great discoveries that I've made in
3:08:42the course of my research is the
3:08:44discovery that we are 100% emotional
3:08:46that we're not even 99% emotional every
3:08:49single decision we make is an emotional
3:08:51decision if somebody says well it's the
3:08:53logical thing to do what it simply means
3:08:55is they have more emotion invested in
3:08:57that even though it sounds logical the
3:08:59law of emotion says that every decision
3:09:01that we make is emotional and it says
3:09:04this it says the stronger emotion will
3:09:07dominate a weaker
3:09:09emotion stronger emotion dominates a
3:09:12weaker emotion so whichever
3:09:15emotion is stronger
3:09:18will be the dominant emotion and will
3:09:20determine what you do all action is
3:09:23determined by the emotion that is
3:09:24predominate at the time and with the
3:09:27whatever the stronger emotion if it is
3:09:29fear fear will determine what you do if
3:09:31it is desire desire will determine what
3:09:34you do the two major emotions that
3:09:37wrestle within us all the time are fear
3:09:40versus desire World Championship goes on
3:09:43over and over again your fears that hold
3:09:45you back your desires that propel you
3:09:47forward now how do you turn this
3:09:49equation so that your desires win it's
3:09:52very simple you use the law of
3:09:54concentration and you think about what
3:09:56you want all the time you dwell on what
3:09:59you want all the time you keep your mind
3:10:01fixed on your desires you become totally
3:10:03preoccupied with what you want and as we
3:10:06said before your fears have a tendency
3:10:07to dwindle But whichever thing you think
3:10:10about if you think about your fears or
3:10:11you think about your desires whichever
3:10:13one you think about by the law of
3:10:15emotion is going to determine your
3:10:17action and your actions will determine
3:10:19your outcomes this brings us to another
3:10:22law which is called the law of
3:10:24expression and this law of expression is
3:10:27very interesting this law of expression
3:10:29goes back many many years and it
3:10:32predates even a quote from Aristotle
3:10:35which says whatever
3:10:37is impressed is expressed whatever is
3:10:43impressed is expressed
3:10:50whatever is impressed is expressed now
3:10:52what does this mean let me go and sit
3:10:54down well we get the board cleaned off
3:10:57it means it means simply this is that
3:10:59whatever is impressed into your psyche
3:11:01for any reason and from whatever Source
3:11:04whatever is mixed with emotion and
3:11:06dropped into your self-concept will
3:11:08eventually be expressed as part of your
3:11:10personality part of your reality it says
3:11:13in effect that you see the world through
3:11:15your self-concept you actually see your
3:11:19concept of the world you do not believe
3:11:22what you see you see what you believe
3:11:26whatever has been impressed on your mind
3:11:28as a fact or as a truth or as a reality
3:11:31will then be expressed in your reality
3:11:34or expressed in your world because that
3:11:36is what you will see if you believe that
3:11:37a certain type of people are good then
3:11:39you will see goodness in those people if
3:11:41you believe that members of a particular
3:11:43political party are fools then all
3:11:46members of that political part party
3:11:47will appear foolish to you even the
3:11:49wisest and most intelligent if you
3:11:51believe that there is opportunity
3:11:53everywhere you will see opportunity
3:11:55everywhere if you believe that you're in
3:11:56complete control of your own destiny
3:11:58then you will see indications of that if
3:12:00you believe that you are a popular
3:12:02courageous confident influential person
3:12:06then you will act in a manner consistent
3:12:08with it and you will see it all around
3:12:10you I was reading a very interesting
3:12:12story not long ago about a young man who
3:12:15came from poor beginnings and had no
3:12:16self-con idence at all but was convinced
3:12:19by a fortune teller that he was The
3:12:21Reincarnation of Napoleon bonapart
3:12:24wonderful story true story too and uh he
3:12:27began to believe that he was The
3:12:28Reincarnation of Napoleon bonapart and
3:12:31he went to the library and he studied
3:12:33Napoleon he read all about Napoleon and
3:12:35he began to walk and talk and act like
3:12:37Napoleon he began to think like Napoleon
3:12:39he began to imagine great plans like
3:12:42Napoleon would have imag he began to act
3:12:44with courage and confidence in the face
3:12:46of uncertainty as Napoleon would have
3:12:49over time he became absolutely convinced
3:12:51that indeed
3:12:52this person who was shy and retiring was
3:12:56truly The Reincarnation of Napoleon and
3:12:59as he did his career improved he was
3:13:01promoted he was Advanced he changed the
3:13:03way he dressed he spoke more confidently
3:13:06and by the time he found out that he had
3:13:08been misled by the fortune teller he was
3:13:10already an extremely successful
3:13:12businessman very interesting whatever is
3:13:15impressed and and accepted becomes
3:13:18expressed and this brings us to another
3:13:19critical mental law and it is this it is
3:13:23what is called the
3:13:25law of
3:13:26reversibility when I first learned about
3:13:29this law I was so excited I wanted to
3:13:33wrap it up and tie it up and not tell
3:13:36anybody this is the first time in any
3:13:38form that I've ever explained this law
3:13:40to other people the law of reversibility
3:13:42says simply this is that if you achieve
3:13:44a certain level of success a certain
3:13:47level of Health the certain quality of
3:13:49relationships then that quality of
3:13:52relationships will create a subjective
3:13:55State a subjective State means a feeling
3:13:58or an emotional state in other words if
3:14:02you win a prize you will feel like a
3:14:04winner if you fall in love you'll feel
3:14:07like a lover if you succeed in business
3:14:09you'll feel like a success the
3:14:12objective creates in other words the
3:14:15objective reality
3:14:18or the fact actually creates the
3:14:21subjective or the emotional state that
3:14:24make sense to you in other words
3:14:25something happens you feel great you get
3:14:27the feeling however the law of
3:14:29reversibility says this if you can grasp
3:14:32this this one fact alone can change your
3:14:35life because it has changed mine is that
3:14:38if you can create
3:14:40artificially the subjective State the
3:14:43feeling the feeling will trigger the law
3:14:46of ATT raction and correspondence into
3:14:49motion and will draw into your life the
3:14:51people circumstances and opportunities
3:14:53necessary to create the objective that
3:14:56is constant with the subjective and here
3:14:59is the method it's so simple it's
3:15:02astonishing it is this is whenever you
3:15:04think of something that you really
3:15:06desire imagine that you have it
3:15:09already imagine that you have it
3:15:12already it sounds like a game like
3:15:15children would play but it is so
3:15:17powerful that is it is all inspiring and
3:15:19all I suggest you do is try it for a
3:15:21little while just imagine close your
3:15:23eyes drive it along think about it
3:15:25necessary stand relax do whatever you
3:15:26want but just imagine that you've
3:15:28already accomplished it and try to get
3:15:30the feeling get the
3:15:34feeling as though it were already a
3:15:36success as though it were a past tense
3:15:39as though it were already accomplished
3:15:40that you don't have to worry about it
3:15:41again you've already got the feeling and
3:15:44if you will play that feeling over and
3:15:45over again this law of reversibility
3:15:48will create this feeling as you dwell
3:15:50upon the feeling more and more the
3:15:52feeling will actually begin to change
3:15:53things inside you and outside of you
3:15:56draw you toward your goal and draw your
3:15:59goal toward you and the objective will
3:16:02come into reality exactly at the right
3:16:04time and place you don't even really
3:16:05have to worry about the process between
3:16:07the two or what the steps are all you
3:16:09have to do is hold that feeling very
3:16:11very intensely and we'll talk about this
3:16:12a little bit more when we talk about
3:16:13mental programming methods now the next
3:16:15law is the law of practice
3:16:17ice the law of
3:16:21practice is also called The Law of
3:16:23repetition but with says that whatever
3:16:25you do over and over again often enough
3:16:30becomes and you have it you want to be a
3:16:34positive exciting enthusiastic person
3:16:37you be want to become wealthy and
3:16:38successful what is it that you want in
3:16:40life whatever you want in life if you
3:16:42will practice it over and over again it
3:16:45eventually becomes a new habit if you
3:16:47practice it by thinking about it you see
3:16:48a new habit takes about 21 days to
3:16:52develop takes about 21 days to develop a
3:16:55new habit 21 days of repeating it over
3:16:58and over
3:17:00again now what we're going to ask you to
3:17:02do as a result of this course and a
3:17:04result what result of what we've talked
3:17:06about is we're going to ask you or
3:17:08suggest that you go on what we call a 21
3:17:10day PMA
3:17:13diet that means that for 21 days we're
3:17:15going to ask you to do a very difficult
3:17:18thing one of the most difficult things
3:17:19you'll ever do in your life is for 21
3:17:21days we want you to keep your mind on
3:17:23what you want and keep it off of what
3:17:24you don't want keep your conversation on
3:17:27what you want keep your conversation off
3:17:29of what you don't want keep your dreams
3:17:31your imagination your thoughts your
3:17:33feelings everything in your environment
3:17:35consistent with what you desire and keep
3:17:37it off of what you don't want very
3:17:39simple it's not very complicated it's
3:17:41one of the most difficult things that
3:17:43you'll ever do now why do we pick 21
3:17:45days well a very good reason
3:17:47uh you see it takes 21 days for a
3:17:50chicken that has a brain the size of a
3:17:53pee to sit patiently calmly
3:17:57Faithfully on an egg to hatch the egg
3:18:01now we feel that if a chicken with a
3:18:03little brain like that can sit on an egg
3:18:06for 21 days without seeing any change
3:18:08just in faith just in faith for 21 days
3:18:11it can sit there on that egg then we
3:18:13could probably ask adults who have
3:18:15brains that are the size of three PBS
3:18:17that have 12 to 20 billion cells and
3:18:20have the capacity to remember and retain
3:18:22all the knowledge known to man if their
3:18:24brain could be tapped we ask them to
3:18:26keep at it for 21 days if you will go on
3:18:29a positive mental attitude diet for 21
3:18:32days keep your mind on it the goal is to
3:18:34become what we call a purely positive
3:18:37person a purely positive
3:18:40person because we know that if you're a
3:18:42p purely positive person if your
3:18:44conversations your acts and your
3:18:46relationship are purely positive what we
3:18:48call a PPP
3:18:51person and you practice that for 21 days
3:18:54you will find that your life will change
3:18:57that everything around you will change
3:18:58your health your relationships your work
3:19:00your opportunities and everything
3:19:02else it's simple but it's not easy if
3:19:06you can do it if you can practice it it
3:19:08will become a new habit the very law of
3:19:11reversibility the very law of emotion
3:19:13the very law of habit that we talked
3:19:15about will actually begin to be changed
3:19:17now what are the four things you need in
3:19:19order to make this great change number
3:19:21one is you need
3:19:23desire desire is the starting point of
3:19:25all change the most important question
3:19:28that you have to ask yourself in life is
3:19:29how badly do you want what you want how
3:19:32badly do you want it or do you want it
3:19:36at all you see there's an awful lot of
3:19:39people who want an awful lot of
3:19:42things but how badly do they want it if
3:19:45you want it so badly if you want it with
3:19:47tremendous intensity of desire there's
3:19:49really nothing in the world that can
3:19:50stop you from getting it there's an
3:19:52interesting story was told by about
3:19:55Socrates and Socrates was talking to one
3:19:57of his students and the student said I
3:19:58am hungry for knowledge what can I do to
3:20:00increase my knowledge and Socrates said
3:20:04uh knowledge is something that is read
3:20:06readily available and easy to get if you
3:20:08want it bad enough he said oh he said
3:20:10I'm sure I want it badly enough and
3:20:12Socrates said come with me and he walked
3:20:13him offshore into uh the ocean and
3:20:17walked him offshore into the agnc and I
3:20:19got about three or 4 feet and Socrates a
3:20:21very very strong man grabbed the young
3:20:23man and put his head under the water and
3:20:25the young man began to struggle and
3:20:26struggle and struggle and finally became
3:20:28incredibly frantic and finally brought
3:20:30him up and he said now what did you want
3:20:32while you were under the water and he
3:20:33said all I wanted was air he said all I
3:20:35could think of in the whole world was
3:20:37air he said when you want knowledge with
3:20:39the same intensity that you wanted that
3:20:42oxygen you will get all the knowledge
3:20:44that you could desire and when you want
3:20:46anything with great intensity if you
3:20:48have the desire you'll get it now the
3:20:50second step is
3:20:53decision over and over again where I
3:20:55travel I find that the major change in a
3:20:58person's life begins when they make a
3:21:01decision I also find that the great
3:21:03majority of people are incredibly
3:21:05indecisive is that they're very
3:21:07reluctant to make decisions to cut off
3:21:09their options they are very very
3:21:11reluctant to make a commitment of any
3:21:13kind and in not making a commitment they
3:21:16just drift they unfortunately condemn
3:21:19themselves to living by the law of
3:21:21accident so the next step is to make a
3:21:23decision a very clear unequivocal
3:21:26decision is that this is what you want
3:21:29and you are willing to pay the price to
3:21:31get it there's a very interesting little
3:21:33book called The Ultimate Secret by
3:21:34Michael hernacki and he said that the
3:21:36key to success after he's studied many
3:21:39many successful people so the key to
3:21:41success is simply this is be willing to
3:21:43do whatever is
3:21:45necessary be willing to do whatever is
3:21:50necessary be willing to do whatever is
3:21:53necessary that means once you've made
3:21:55the decision be willing to
3:21:57go the extra mile be willing to do
3:21:59whatever is necessary and the
3:22:00interesting thing is that you won't ever
3:22:01have to do everything that's necessary
3:22:02but you must be willing to do it and
3:22:04it's that unequivocal decision that do
3:22:06or die that complete total 100%
3:22:09commitment that makes all the difference
3:22:12in your success most people are
3:22:14unwilling to make the commitment and if
3:22:16they do make the commitment they hold
3:22:17themselves back they say I want it but
3:22:18I'm not willing to do this or I won't do
3:22:20that or I won't move I won't go back to
3:22:22school uh I can't sacrifice this and so
3:22:25on I've spoken to many parents for
3:22:27instance who have undergone great
3:22:29sacrifices so that the mother can stay
3:22:32home with the young children during
3:22:33their first 3 to five years and people
3:22:35say well you're crazy you need the money
3:22:37you can't take trips you don't have
3:22:38enough money to pay bills when you're
3:22:40not one of two people working they say
3:22:41yes but our decision is to give our
3:22:44children the finest grounding and finest
3:22:46emotional basis possible and we feel
3:22:48that the way to do it is for the mother
3:22:50to be home with the children so they're
3:22:51willing to make the sacrifices and of
3:22:54course everybody has to make their
3:22:55decisions with regard to what sacrifices
3:22:57they want to make the third is
3:23:01determination determination
3:23:03means to back your plan with if you like
3:23:07iron
3:23:08willpower again every single study that
3:23:10I've looked at and I spent in the course
3:23:13of my lifetime I've spent almost 30,000
3:23:16hours studying the subject of personal
3:23:18and corporate success is that iron
3:23:21willpower is absolutely critical
3:23:23determination the willingness to stick
3:23:25in when the going gets tough the
3:23:27willingness to persist in the face of
3:23:29adversity that kind of determination is
3:23:31absolutely critical to developing the
3:23:33new habit patterns of thought that will
3:23:35guarantee your success and finally
3:23:37discipline this is my big favorite It's
3:23:40usually the only place in this course
3:23:42where I mention this but discipline is
3:23:45the master key to riches
3:23:47discipline is the master key to riches
3:23:52discipline the willingness to do what
3:23:55you know you should do when you should
3:23:57do it whether you like it or not is the
3:24:00critical key to your success why is it
3:24:02that people fail in life it's no Miracle
3:24:06it's no mystery the reason people fail
3:24:08in life is that they're not willing to
3:24:09do whatever is necessary they're not
3:24:11willing to pay the price half the time
3:24:14most three quarters of the time they
3:24:15don't know what they want and the ones
3:24:16that do know what they want are not
3:24:19capable of disciplining themselves so
3:24:20the next time you sit there watching the
3:24:22television next time you drive along
3:24:23listening to the radio instead of
3:24:25listening to an audio cassette program
3:24:26you have to ask yourself quite
3:24:28honestly in terms of the wonderful life
3:24:32that you are capable of enjoying in
3:24:34terms of all the things that you want is
3:24:36this moving you toward it or is it
3:24:39moving you away from it because the
3:24:41truth of the matter is that everything
3:24:43that does not move you toward your goal
3:24:45moves you away from your goal that
3:24:47nothing is neutral that everything
3:24:50counts that the sands of time are
3:24:52running the clock the meter is going
3:24:55right now a very good friend of mine
3:24:56said remember this life is not a
3:24:58rehearsal for anything else this is the
3:25:01real one and the question you have to
3:25:03ask yourself is are you serious about
3:25:06being and having and doing everything
3:25:08that's possible for you if you go on a
3:25:1021-day mental attitude diet a PMA diet
3:25:14if you will keep your thoughts on what
3:25:15you want for 21 days if you will
3:25:18practice the law develop new habits
3:25:20practice repetition over and over again
3:25:22practice the law of reversibility and
3:25:25visualize and imagine yourself as the
3:25:27person you want to be and practice the
3:25:29law of expression that whatever is
3:25:31impressed on your mind will be expressed
3:25:32in your reality you will see dramatic
3:25:35changes start to take place in your life
3:25:37and sometimes far faster than you can
3:25:40currently imagine believe me I know I
3:25:43have tried and practiced everything that
3:25:45I recommend to you thousands of my
3:25:48graduates have done it and the results
3:25:49they have accomplished have been
3:25:51stupendous they will be stupendous for
3:25:53you too and we'll talk about more of
3:25:55that in the next
3:26:07module session 10 changing your s
3:26:10concept to repeat all change in your
3:26:14life begins with a change in your self
3:26:16concept and that brings us back to what
3:26:18we talked about when we talked about the
3:26:19three ingredients of self-concept at the
3:26:21very beginning we said that there were
3:26:23three parts the self ideal the
3:26:25self-image and the self-esteem or how
3:26:27much you like yourself and what I like
3:26:29to do now is I'd like to talk a little
3:26:30bit about what we call the self ideal
3:26:33because the self ideal is the person
3:26:35that you would most like to be when you
3:26:37start thinking about changing your
3:26:39personality improving your personality
3:26:41improving the quality of your life your
3:26:43inner and your outer life you have to
3:26:45start off with a Target you have to
3:26:47start off with something to shoot for
3:26:48something to aim at so let's talk about
3:26:51this the self ideal is a fundamental
3:26:53part of your personality the self ideal
3:26:56is a
3:26:56combination of all of the
3:26:59qualities of men and women that you have
3:27:02read about studied about associated with
3:27:04or admired throughout your entire life
3:27:06your self ideal is sort of like a role
3:27:08model for you an internal role model and
3:27:11this internal role model acts as a
3:27:14directional mechanism it within your
3:27:16psyche that determines your words
3:27:19actions thoughts behaviors and so on as
3:27:20a matter of fact you are today in many
3:27:23respects the sum total composite of all
3:27:26the different men and women whose
3:27:27qualities and characteristics that You'
3:27:29ever admired if you read a biography an
3:27:31autobiography a story about a person who
3:27:33has done something that you think is
3:27:35admirable displayed uh qualities of
3:27:37intelligence or character or Compassion
3:27:40or perseverance or persistence or
3:27:42courage and so on if someone has done
3:27:44those things and you have a to admire
3:27:47them if you admire them what happens is
3:27:50you have a tendency unconsciously even
3:27:53without your knowing it to try to be
3:27:55more like them now there is a difference
3:27:58between the self-image which is where
3:28:00you see yourself now and your
3:28:03self-esteem which is how much you like
3:28:05yourself and there's a difference
3:28:07between your self-image and your self
3:28:09ideal the difference distance between
3:28:11these two the way you see yourself now
3:28:13and the way you would ideally like to be
3:28:16has a major impact on your self-esteem
3:28:18people who see themselves working
3:28:20progressively toward becoming more and
3:28:21more like the people they want to be
3:28:24have high self-esteem people who see
3:28:26themselves as having an enormous almost
3:28:29unbridgeable distance between the PE
3:28:31person they see themselves as now and
3:28:33the person they know they should or
3:28:35could be usually have low self-esteem so
3:28:38the starting point of change in the
3:28:40self-concept to repeat comes with
3:28:42defining clearly what it is you want to
3:28:45look like now when I was about 177 18
3:28:49years old I sat down with a notebook and
3:28:51I wrote out a description of the person
3:28:54that I wanted to be when I grew up I
3:28:56wrote out and I wrote several pages I
3:28:58described my personality and my height
3:29:00and my weight and how I would get along
3:29:02with people and so on and many years
3:29:04later 10 15 20 years later after I had
3:29:06traveled around the world twice after i'
3:29:08been in 80 countries after I had done a
3:29:10great variety of things I came across
3:29:12those notes in an old suitcase and I
3:29:14looked and I read them and you know
3:29:15there a surprising thing was was that I
3:29:17had become over the course of that time
3:29:21the person that I had described in that
3:29:23notebook so I suggest you this is you
3:29:26start off by saying who is it and what
3:29:29is it that you would like to look like
3:29:31one year 3 years 5 years from now or
3:29:34let's put it this way and here's a
3:29:35really good question name three men or
3:29:38women living or dead that you really
3:29:40admire that you really feel our
3:29:42wonderful fine upstanding role models
3:29:45and then ask ask yourself the question
3:29:47why is it that you admire them why is it
3:29:49that you like them what is it their is
3:29:51it about them what are their qualities
3:29:53if you like that you consider
3:29:55outstanding because those are the
3:29:56qualities if you can identify them that
3:29:58you'll begin moving toward accomplishing
3:30:01in your own life remember we said that
3:30:03desire discipline determination and
3:30:07decision are the keys to success but
3:30:09also definition you have to Define
3:30:12clearly what you want to be I remember a
3:30:15wonderful story of a young fellow who
3:30:17decided he wanted to improve his life
3:30:20and he was working for an insurance
3:30:21company and he sat and looked around him
3:30:23and he was number 28 out or 29 out of 30
3:30:26people in an insurance company selling
3:30:28insurance and he'd been there for
3:30:29several years and his career was going
3:30:31nowhere and he began looking about him
3:30:33looking at this and he said now who do I
3:30:35admire who would I like to be like who
3:30:36would my ideal be and he decided he
3:30:39wanted to be like the top salesman in
3:30:41the branch and he started to look at the
3:30:43top salesman and the top one or two
3:30:45sales people in the BR branch and he
3:30:46started to think about them and think
3:30:48about what they did and he SP to talk to
3:30:49them and get advice from them and over
3:30:51the course of the next few years by
3:30:53using this process by pattering himself
3:30:56after the people he admired he became
3:30:58more and more like them he dressed like
3:31:00them he walked like them he talked like
3:31:02them he worked the way they did he
3:31:04studied the way they did and in time he
3:31:06became not only the top salesman in the
3:31:08branch the top salesman in the region
3:31:10the top salesman in the division
3:31:11eventually the top salesman in the
3:31:12country and he became a marketing vice
3:31:15president pres for one of the biggest
3:31:16insurance companies in the nation simply
3:31:19by establishing a self ideal and then
3:31:21working progressively toward it well
3:31:23what are the stages the first starting
3:31:25stage as we say of changing the
3:31:28self-concept of changing your mind
3:31:31becoming a new or a different person is
3:31:33that the change must be perceived by you
3:31:37as being both desirable and necessary in
3:31:41other words you must see
3:31:43that if you were to make this change
3:31:46it would be a worthwhile change and in
3:31:49terms of what you want to be have and do
3:31:51in terms of the future of your life it's
3:31:53necessary that you make this change if
3:31:55you want to get a hit I give you another
3:31:57example of a famous gentleman from a
3:31:59Fortune 500 Corporation was promoted to
3:32:01president came up through engineering
3:32:03left brain had no people skills at all
3:32:05was very very concerned about this part
3:32:08of his personality in that he didn't
3:32:10know how to get along with people he
3:32:11preferred problems that didn't talk back
3:32:14but he recognized that a change in his
3:32:15self-concept a change in his ability to
3:32:18communicate effectively with others was
3:32:20essential to his success so he began
3:32:22taking courses on interpersonal
3:32:24Communications he began taking courses
3:32:26on relationships for two solid years he
3:32:28read books listened to tapes took
3:32:30courses and became an authority within
3:32:32the company on human relations and then
3:32:34put together a course of his own and
3:32:36went throughout the company as the
3:32:38president of the company and taught this
3:32:40course within his company becoming at
3:32:42the things that he was teaching in other
3:32:44words he decided that to be very good
3:32:47with people was both desirable and
3:32:49necessary for himself his company and
3:32:51his future and then he went about
3:32:53through the process of gradual defining
3:32:55the ideal and began working
3:32:57progressively toward it in two years he
3:32:58had rounded out his personality from
3:33:00being a lopsided left brain linear
3:33:03analytical person to being a totally
3:33:05rounded fully functioning human being
3:33:08one of the Hallmarks of great leaders
3:33:10one of the Hallmarks of outstanding men
3:33:11and women is that they're willing to
3:33:13make the efforts necessary to bring
3:33:15about the changes that are essential now
3:33:17the second stage or the second step in
3:33:20changing yourself concept is to begin
3:33:23thinking about yourself as you would
3:33:25ideally be begin thinking about
3:33:28yourself as your ideal
3:33:31person for instance if you wanted to be
3:33:35an outstanding person in in human
3:33:36relations you'd begin thinking about
3:33:38yourself as you would be as a human
3:33:40relation specialist but let us say you
3:33:42want something very simple most people
3:33:44say that they major weak is that they
3:33:46are too impatient too intolerant they
3:33:49get angry too quickly irritable so on
3:33:52maybe what you should do is start with
3:33:54something very simple very important to
3:33:56start with something simple because if
3:33:57you can change something simple it
3:33:58proves to you that you can change
3:33:59something large so you begin thinking
3:34:00about yourself let us say that you tend
3:34:02to be a little bit impatient or
3:34:03short-tempered when you're tired or a
3:34:05little bit irritable with your children
3:34:07or your spouse uh at the end of the day
3:34:09so then you begin thinking about
3:34:10yourself as you would be if you were a
3:34:14warm patient kind loving tolerant human
3:34:18being begin thinking about yourself in
3:34:20the situations where you normally become
3:34:22cross and irritable and begin thinking
3:34:23about yourself as being relaxed positive
3:34:26supportive encouraging unruffled begin
3:34:29thinking about yourself as the ideal
3:34:31think now who do you know who has the
3:34:34type of Personality now it can be a
3:34:35television personality it can be Bill
3:34:37Cosby if you like it can be somebody
3:34:40that you admire in sports it can be
3:34:41somebody whose biographies or stories
3:34:43you've read doesn't really matter but
3:34:44keep thinking about how would that
3:34:46person act in this situation one thing
3:34:49that many people do who are many
3:34:51Christians do is whenever they get into
3:34:53a difficult or stressful situation they
3:34:55say to themselves I wonder how Jesus
3:34:57would act in this situation I wonder how
3:34:59Jesus would act if they were dealing
3:35:01with a difficult person or I wonder how
3:35:03Jesus would act if he were put in the
3:35:04same position I'm in and what it does is
3:35:07irrespective of your belief what it does
3:35:09is it gives you a role model to pattern
3:35:11yourself after the great tragedy of many
3:35:14young people growing up in the inner
3:35:16cities today is that the role models
3:35:18that they have are not positive role
3:35:20models the people who are the most
3:35:22successful sometimes in the ghettos in
3:35:23the inner cities are not admirable
3:35:25people who are working hard and building
3:35:27families and businesses what they are is
3:35:29they're criminals who are engaging in
3:35:30criminal activities so the role models
3:35:32that you choose have a critical effect
3:35:34on who you become so begin thinking
3:35:36about yourself as you would like to be
3:35:40as you would like to
3:35:43be now that's starting point point
3:35:46because of the law of uh expression
3:35:49whatever is impressed is expressed if
3:35:51you begin thinking about yourself you
3:35:53begin finding it's almost like turning
3:35:54the wheel of your personality you begin
3:35:57to become a different person now the
3:35:59third stage the third step is you begin
3:36:00to
3:36:02visualize now what does visualize mean
3:36:04well there are thousands of books
3:36:05written on visualization one of the most
3:36:07powerful of all human abilities is the
3:36:10ability to create clear mental pictures
3:36:13you see your subconscious which is where
3:36:16all of your programming takes place is
3:36:19activated by mental
3:36:23pictures combined with emotion so when
3:36:26you create clear mental pictures when
3:36:28you begin to dwell on a clear mental
3:36:31picture of the person that you would
3:36:32like to be you begin to close your eyes
3:36:34or think about the person that you would
3:36:36like to be the subconscious cannot tell
3:36:39the difference between a real experience
3:36:42one that is actually happening to you
3:36:44and one that you vividly imagine
3:36:46on the screen of your mind and this
3:36:48method of visualization of creating a
3:36:50clear mental picture and then remember
3:36:52we talked about the law of practice
3:36:53which is the law of
3:36:55repetition by practicing it over and
3:36:58over and over again imagine for instance
3:37:00that you wanted to become a proficient
3:37:02public
3:37:03speaker simple as that and let us say
3:37:05this is your this is you and this is
3:37:08your eyes and here is your conscious
3:37:11mind and here is your unconscious mind
3:37:13let us say you wanted to become a
3:37:14proficient public speaker well if you
3:37:15went out and you gave a whole series of
3:37:17talks and you got positive response and
3:37:19people applauded and told you it was a
3:37:21good talk and you did this over and over
3:37:23again no matter how terrified you are of
3:37:25public speaking right now if you did it
3:37:27often enough gradually you would store
3:37:28up enough memories to the point where
3:37:30you would feel no uneasiness at all
3:37:32about speaking publicly now the reason I
3:37:34mentioned speaking publicly is that
3:37:36something like 54% of the American
3:37:39public would rather die than give a talk
3:37:42in public they put the fear of public
3:37:44speaking ahead of the fear of death it's
3:37:46one of the greatest of all fears in our
3:37:47society however no child is born
3:37:51as afraid of public speaking no child is
3:37:53comes into the world with a fear
3:37:55speaking in front of audiences as a
3:37:56matter of fact every one of us gave our
3:37:58first public talk Stark naked upside
3:38:00down in front of a room full of
3:38:01strangers if you remember that and it's
3:38:03been downhill for most of us ever since
3:38:05if you have a series of external
3:38:07experiences however and all of those
3:38:09experiences are positive then they're
3:38:11stored away as positive reports in the
3:38:13public speaking file however let us say
3:38:16that you have a tremendous feeling of
3:38:18anxiety about speaking and that can come
3:38:20from a a hundred different reasons but
3:38:22you begin to play on the screen of your
3:38:24mind you have this continuous real
3:38:26projector you begin to play on the
3:38:28screen of your mind a picture of
3:38:30yourself speaking effectively in front
3:38:33of a group you begin to read about other
3:38:35people who speak effectively you begin
3:38:36to read the books of successful speakers
3:38:38who tell how they did it and how nervous
3:38:40they were you begin to take a course and
3:38:43you begin to study and you begin to
3:38:44learn how to do it you begin to learn
3:38:45how to prepare and to outline a talk and
3:38:47You Begin thinking about yourself over
3:38:49and over again as capable of doing it
3:38:51the picture that you play on the screen
3:38:52of your mind is accepted by the
3:38:56subconscious as a real experience as
3:38:59long as you vividly imagine it and this
3:39:01is the key it is the vividness of the
3:39:04picture the more clearly you visualize
3:39:06it the more frequently you visualize it
3:39:08the more emotionally or intensely you
3:39:10visualize it and the longer you
3:39:12visualize it the more of an impact it
3:39:14has on the subconscious mind so that you
3:39:16can in many respects actually become
3:39:19halfway or 3/4s of the way toward being
3:39:21a competent speaker or being competent
3:39:23in almost anything simply by visualizing
3:39:25and playing this picture over and over
3:39:27again by the way I I use the example of
3:39:29speaking in public for for a very
3:39:31specific reason most of us are afraid of
3:39:33it and what I found is that if you can
3:39:34use these methods of mental programming
3:39:36to eliminate one major fear that may be
3:39:39holding you back in life you will prove
3:39:41to yourself forever that you can
3:39:44eliminate any self limiting belief and
3:39:46overcome it and go on to accomplish what
3:39:49you want I have given this advice to
3:39:51thousands of people it's simply this if
3:39:52you have an uneasiness with regard to
3:39:54public speaking or any other fear but
3:39:55public speaking for this example make
3:39:57the decision right now to get over it
3:39:59now here's two ways that you can get
3:40:00over it Toast Masters does this method
3:40:03work well I'll guarantee you that it
3:40:05works Toast Masters was set up in 1923
3:40:08as an organization a voluntary
3:40:10organization groups of men and women
3:40:12come together small groups they meet
3:40:14once a week and they they have breakfast
3:40:15lunch and or dinner meetings and at each
3:40:17meeting each person has a chance to talk
3:40:20people who are so terrified of public
3:40:22speaking they could not lead silent
3:40:23prayer in a phone booth after 10 or 15
3:40:26weeks in Toast Masters are capable of
3:40:28standing up with one minute's notice and
3:40:30giving an ex extemporaneous talk in
3:40:32front of an audience of strangers Toast
3:40:35Masters works why it's because every
3:40:37single time a person stands up they get
3:40:39positive feedback they get correction
3:40:41they get advice they get Applause they
3:40:43get support eventually what you is you
3:40:45build up a whole series of positive
3:40:47reports in your subconscious mind that
3:40:49says when it comes to public speaking
3:40:51it's easy if you want to be effective at
3:40:53selling if you want to be effective at
3:40:56uh leading if you want to be effective
3:40:57as a parent if you want to be effective
3:40:59with other human beings all you have to
3:41:01do is practice over and over again and
3:41:04practice in your mind over and over
3:41:06until eventually you will find that when
3:41:08you think about whatever it is the fear
3:41:10level will go down confidence level will
3:41:13go up by the way one other area that you
3:41:15can go to if you want to learn to be
3:41:17more capable speaking is Dale Carnegie
3:41:19Dale Carnegie has a wonderful
3:41:21course is this called the Dale Carnegie
3:41:23course which really helps people become
3:41:25proficient in public speaking over 10 to
3:41:2714 weeks you get an opportunity every
3:41:29single week to get up and speak in front
3:41:31of your
3:41:33peers the next is affirmations now with
3:41:37affirmations your potential is unlimited
3:41:40affirmations are the most
3:41:43powerful words that you can Poss posibly
3:41:45say affirmations are based on what we
3:41:47call the
3:41:483ps in that with affirmations we
3:41:51reprogram ourselves unconsciously
3:41:53affirmations are strong positive
3:41:56assertive statements that you say about
3:41:58yourself to yourself and believe and
3:42:01they're based on the three PS and the
3:42:03P's are first of all personal all
3:42:05affirmations all statements that you say
3:42:07to yourself have to be couched in the
3:42:09personal tense the I if you say I like
3:42:13myself I like myself I like myself when
3:42:18you say I like myself it accesses the
3:42:20subconscious directly every single
3:42:22command that begins with an i opens the
3:42:25subconscious mind and says valuable
3:42:27information coming down prepare or get
3:42:30ready and also positive all affirmative
3:42:35all affirmative statements must be
3:42:37couched in the positive tense because
3:42:38the subconscious mind filters out
3:42:40negatives and only takes the words that
3:42:43you the the the positive
3:42:45uh expression for example if you didn't
3:42:47want to if you wanted to quit smoking
3:42:48you wouldn't say I don't smoke anymore I
3:42:50don't smoke anymore you would say I am a
3:42:53nonsmoker I am a non-smoker the words I
3:42:56am are two of the most powerful words in
3:43:00mental programming when you say I am
3:43:02because only you can say I am about you
3:43:05in the whole world nobody else can use
3:43:06those two words with regard to you and
3:43:09your subconscious recognizes it when you
3:43:10say I am responsible I am responsible
3:43:14you can actually feel the impact of
3:43:17these words on your unconscious mind you
3:43:20can feel the words I am responsible and
3:43:22feel their effect on your emotions now
3:43:25the third is that they must be in the
3:43:27present
3:43:27tense not I will lose weight or I will
3:43:30quit smoking or I will get a better job
3:43:33but I have a better job I weigh X number
3:43:36of pounds I earn X number of dollars I
3:43:40earn X number of dollars whatever it
3:43:43happens to be you always praise it in
3:43:45the present tense because the
3:43:46subconscious mind can only take language
3:43:49that is couched in the now this is very
3:43:53very important that when we are
3:43:55reprogramming the subconscious mind when
3:43:57you visualize it's in the now when you
3:44:00affirm it's in the now when you think
3:44:02about yourself as you would like to be
3:44:04it is always in the now the subconscious
3:44:07mind is by the way it's very literal so
3:44:10when you create affirmations and you can
3:44:12create affirmations for every goal that
3:44:14you can imagine I earn X number of
3:44:17dollars I weigh X number of pounds I am
3:44:20a kind loving human being I am
3:44:23disciplined and industrious and fidus I
3:44:25am a good driver I am punctual I like
3:44:28myself I am responsible I feel great I
3:44:31feel happy I have health I have energy
3:44:34interesting affirmation if you repeat
3:44:36the affirmation over and over again I
3:44:37have health I have energy I have health
3:44:40I have energy you can actually build up
3:44:42your body's resistance to things like
3:44:44colds and flu we'll talk about this a
3:44:47little bit later but very often we get
3:44:49sick because we decide to get sick or we
3:44:51get sick because we let our minds and
3:44:52B's coast and we can actually drive a
3:44:55cold out of our systems by repeating the
3:44:58affirmation over and over again I have
3:44:59health I am healthy I
3:45:03am strong I feel great I feel
3:45:07wonderful so couch your affirmations in
3:45:09your visualizations when you close your
3:45:11eyes see yourself as though you had the
3:45:14characteristic quality right now speak
3:45:16in terms of having the characteristic or
3:45:19quality right now and as we said before
3:45:21with regard to emotion imagine the
3:45:23feeling that would accompany the mental
3:45:26picture imagine the feeling that would
3:45:28accompany the words when you say I like
3:45:30myself you don't say I like myself you
3:45:32say I like myself I like myself I like
3:45:35myself imagine when you when you say I I
3:45:38am responsive you don't say I am
3:45:39responsible you say I am responsible I
3:45:42am responsible in other words
3:45:44emotionalize it wrap it up with emotion
3:45:47drive it into the subconscious mind like
3:45:48a Detonator and the effect that it will
3:45:51have on your personality and your on and
3:45:52on your feelings will be
3:45:55tremendous now again with regard to
3:45:57affirmations what I use is I use a
3:45:59series of index cards and you can put
3:46:01your affirmations your positive present
3:46:03tense personal statements on
3:46:05affirmations and review those
3:46:06affirmations over and over again every
3:46:08time you review them every time you
3:46:09think about them every time you repeat
3:46:11them and drive them into the
3:46:12subconscious mind every time you impress
3:46:14them you increase the potential for them
3:46:17to be expressed externally now one final
3:46:20thing is when you use affirmations try
3:46:23to keep your daily words and actions
3:46:25consistent with your affirmations try to
3:46:28keep the things that you say when you're
3:46:29walking around and the things that you
3:46:30do consistent with the words that you
3:46:32say to yourself in private all right the
3:46:35next thing that we do is what is called
3:46:38verbalization
3:46:41verbalization is speaking aloud speaking
3:46:45your affirmations aloud now there's two
3:46:47ways that you can do
3:46:49this best to do it in private but
3:46:52basically you increase the
3:46:55impact of a an affirmation by as much as
3:46:5980% and even more when you say it out
3:47:01loud if you say to yourself I like
3:47:03myself but if you say I like myself or I
3:47:06feel terrific or I feel wonderful or I
3:47:08am responsible I earn $50,000 a year
3:47:12when I first learned about this process
3:47:14my goal was to earn $50,000 a year and I
3:47:17realized that the only way I could ever
3:47:18earn $50,000 a year was by repeating
3:47:20this over and over again and
3:47:22surprisingly enough when I began doing
3:47:23it I was not making anywhere near
3:47:25$50,000 and I was very very skeptical of
3:47:28whether or not it would work I can only
3:47:30tell you from the bottom of my heart
3:47:31that it does work so verbalize it
3:47:33another thing that you can do is in
3:47:34front of a
3:47:36mirror if you Vis if you verbalize in
3:47:39front of a mirror you have two impacts
3:47:41working simultaneously you have the
3:47:43impact of what you can see plus what you
3:47:46are saying plus if you emotionalize what
3:47:48you are saying you have three access
3:47:50points to reprogramming the subconscious
3:47:53working simultaneously so you stand in
3:47:55front of a mirror you can say in front
3:47:56of the mirror you can say I feel
3:47:58terrific or I look great or I look great
3:48:00or you can say you look great because
3:48:02when we talk to ourselves in front of
3:48:04every now you mustn't do this in a
3:48:05public washroom when there's other
3:48:06people around because they may think
3:48:07you're a little bit strange but
3:48:09nonetheless
3:48:10verbalization is a very important part
3:48:14of driving this message into the
3:48:16subconscious remember the key to this is
3:48:18whatever you can hold in your mind on a
3:48:20continuing basis you can have the only
3:48:22question is can you repeat it long
3:48:24enough and hard enough often enough to
3:48:27impress it permanently in the
3:48:29subconscious mind once you impress it
3:48:31permanently in the subconscious mind it
3:48:33takes on a power of its own that will
3:48:37eventually bring it into your reality at
3:48:39exactly the right time and exactly the
3:48:41right way for you and this brings us to
3:48:44the next method
3:48:45which is the method
3:48:47of assume the
3:48:51role assume the role assume the part you
3:48:55see one of the most important
3:48:57discoveries that we have made in
3:48:59behavioral psychology is this is that if
3:49:02you feel a particular way if you have
3:49:05the particular emotions the feelings
3:49:08will lead to actions we've talked about
3:49:09this before that we act in a way
3:49:12consistent with our feelings however
3:49:14what we found is that most of us do not
3:49:16start off feeling motivated most of us
3:49:19do not start off feeling positive most
3:49:22of us do not start off
3:49:24feeling confident and capable of
3:49:26accomplishing our goals most of us start
3:49:28off feeling average to negative however
3:49:32if you will act exactly as if you had
3:49:35the feeling the action will generate the
3:49:39emotion just as the emotion generates
3:49:41the feeling in other words you can act
3:49:43your way into into feeling this is very
3:49:46important you can act your way into
3:49:48feeling have you ever had the occasion
3:49:50where you are sitting comfortably
3:49:52relaxed and somebody says come on let's
3:49:54go and do this or let's get up and do
3:49:56that you say no no no I'm comfortable
3:49:57remember you're into your comfort zone
3:49:59Comfort is a great killer of human
3:50:01potential you say no no no they say oh
3:50:02come on just get up and do a little bit
3:50:04so you you get up just a little bit and
3:50:06you move just a little bit and as you
3:50:07begin to move you start to get into the
3:50:09swing of it and pretty soon you get into
3:50:11it completely and you're you totally
3:50:13forget about going back to the or the
3:50:15chair that you were in well you can act
3:50:16your way into feeling you can act your
3:50:18way into feeling almost anything we call
3:50:20this if you like pretending pretend that
3:50:23you have the quality already for
3:50:26instance if you want to be courageous
3:50:29and unafraid pretend that you're
3:50:31courageous and unafraid already if you
3:50:33want to be confident pretend that you
3:50:35have the confidence there's an old
3:50:37saying that says fake it until you make
3:50:39it fake it until you make
3:50:42it remember we talked about about the
3:50:45gentleman who was told that he was The
3:50:47Reincarnation of Napoleon that what he
3:50:51all he had to do was he had to act like
3:50:53Napoleon and realize that he had this
3:50:55cultural history behind him that he had
3:50:57the decisiveness the power the Courage
3:51:00the genius the Brilliance the tenacity
3:51:02the foresight of one of the world's
3:51:04great leaders well this acting this
3:51:07pretending this assuming the role is a
3:51:09critical part of actually becoming that
3:51:11person if you want to be the finest
3:51:13salesperson in your organization if you
3:51:15want to be a superb executive if you
3:51:17want to be a tremendous technician if
3:51:18you want to be an excellent Medical
3:51:20Professional if you want to be the best
3:51:22mother or the best father if you want to
3:51:24be excellent in athletics there's a
3:51:27entire body of work today in neural
3:51:29linguistic programming and what is
3:51:31called the inner game of winning that
3:51:33says that if you want to be a better
3:51:35tennis player for instance what you do
3:51:38is you imagine that you were a
3:51:40championship tennis player imagine that
3:51:43you are Arthur Ash or Jimmy Connors or
3:51:45Chris ever Lloyd or U Maria nevat
3:51:50whatever her name is Nevada or one of
3:51:52the great tennis players and play tennis
3:51:54exactly as if you were one of those play
3:51:57tennis as as though you were them and in
3:51:59their body and on the court and you know
3:52:01what will happen is that judges and
3:52:03people observing a person doing this
3:52:05find that you will hit more accurately
3:52:07you hit with more Force you are better
3:52:10you are more confident you're more
3:52:11capable golfers another example is if
3:52:14you want want to be a great golfer is
3:52:16imagine that you are already a great
3:52:17golfer if you want to be a great
3:52:19salesperson imagine that you are already
3:52:21a great salesperson and walk talk carry
3:52:24act as though you had the part already
3:52:27dress the part dress look at yourself in
3:52:29the mirror and say do I look the part of
3:52:32a great golfer do I look the part of the
3:52:34executive the salesman or the saleswoman
3:52:36or whatever it happens to be that I
3:52:37would like to be these four we call this
3:52:40the vava VA VA VA VA actually I should
3:52:45do it this way VA a VA these are the
3:52:49keys to Rapid personality change the V
3:52:53is for
3:52:54visualization visualize and play the
3:52:56picture of the desired person you would
3:52:58like to be over and over again until it
3:53:01is accepted by the subconscious as a
3:53:03reality remember the subconscious obeys
3:53:05your conscious commands if you command
3:53:08the subconscious and you command the
3:53:10subconscious by the thoughts you hold in
3:53:12your conscious mind by the thoughts that
3:53:14you dwell upon the law of concentration
3:53:17if you hold that thought in your mind on
3:53:19a continuing basis eventually it clicks
3:53:22into the subconscious and it takes on a
3:53:24power of its own the second is to affirm
3:53:27and affirm over and over
3:53:29again there are many people who say that
3:53:31they would rather go without breakfast
3:53:33than go without their affirmations each
3:53:35morning speak to yourself positively use
3:53:37positive selft talk all the time
3:53:40remember you talk to yourself at the
3:53:41rate of almost 1500 words a minute most
3:53:43people talk talk to themselves in terms
3:53:45of doubt and fear and worry and anxiety
3:53:47talk to yourself positively I can do it
3:53:49I can do it I can do it I can do it just
3:53:51repeating I can do it I can do it over
3:53:53and over again boost your
3:53:54self-confidence and boost your
3:53:56self-esteem when you have nothing else
3:53:57to do say I like myself I like myself I
3:53:59like myself I like myself because saying
3:54:00I like myself or I love myself expands
3:54:03your ability and your capacity in every
3:54:05area of your life also verbalize speak
3:54:08out loud make sure the things that you
3:54:10say out loud are consistent with the
3:54:12person that you want to be and the
3:54:13things that you want want to do
3:54:15verbalize and say I like myself don't
3:54:16say allow things that like I'm never on
3:54:19time I can't lose weight uh I can't quit
3:54:22smoking I wish I could and so on but
3:54:23always speak in positive terms remember
3:54:26that you can almost double the force of
3:54:29an affirmation by speaking it loud if
3:54:30you speak it really loud I like myself I
3:54:32like myself I like myself you speak it
3:54:34really loud and really strong it has
3:54:37double triple sometimes several times
3:54:38the impact and finally assume the role
3:54:41pretend as though you already had the
3:54:43part assume the role imagine you've been
3:54:45hired to play the role of an extremely
3:54:48successful person in a Broadway play and
3:54:51in this in this role what you are going
3:54:53to do is you're going to walk talk and
3:54:55act as though you were the success as
3:54:57though you were the role model as though
3:55:00you were the ideal image of the perfect
3:55:02person that you want to become and if
3:55:05you walk it talk it pretend it visualize
3:55:07it think it and affirm it over and over
3:55:09again that is the person that you become
3:55:13as inevitably as the sun rising in the
3:55:15East and setting in the west and in the
3:55:19next session I'll tell you more about
3:55:21how to in incorporate these personality
3:55:23attributes into your
3:55:34character session 11 the new mental diet
3:55:39back in the 1930s a man named Gaylord
3:55:41Hower shocked the medical world by
3:55:43coming out with a series of claims and
3:55:46statements that said that everything
3:55:48that we ate in some way affected our
3:55:50body he said that everything that you
3:55:53eat is translated into something and has
3:55:55a positive or negative effect and he
3:55:57wrote a book called the new diet does it
3:55:59now in this session and the previous
3:56:01sessions we've been talking about the
3:56:02new mental diet and just as everything
3:56:05that you eat has an effect on your
3:56:07physical body everything that you take
3:56:09into your mind has an effect on your
3:56:12mental body on what's going on ins
3:56:14inside you which determines what happens
3:56:16around you when we were talking a little
3:56:17bit earlier we said that the power of
3:56:20suggestion is one of the most important
3:56:21powers in your life the power of
3:56:23suggestion says that everything that you
3:56:25take in everything that you think about
3:56:28everything that you read everything that
3:56:29you listen to all of your conversations
3:56:32radio television newspaper books papers
3:56:34magazines everything that you allow to
3:56:37influence you thinking affects your
3:56:40subconscious mind affects your attitudes
3:56:42your expectations your values your
3:56:44beliefs and ultimately your potential as
3:56:47a human being in fact the great
3:56:49difference between human beings is not
3:56:51intelligence and not education and not
3:56:53opportunity it is what they are feeding
3:56:56into their minds on a regular basis now
3:56:58we also said and it's the same thing if
3:57:00you were to say well yes I eat good food
3:57:03a lot of the time but some of the time
3:57:04or 50% of the time I eat junk food I eat
3:57:07food that's high in salt high in sugar
3:57:09uh low in nutrition uh inert Foods dead
3:57:12Foods white flour French grease and so
3:57:15on but it doesn't bother me it doesn't
3:57:17have any effect on my body you would
3:57:20know that that is nonsense because
3:57:22everything counts everything counts one
3:57:25of the marks of a truly honest person is
3:57:29that they accept reality and reality is
3:57:33that everything that you do mentally or
3:57:35physically counts and it's either
3:57:37positive it's either helping you moving
3:57:40you toward what you want to be and have
3:57:42and do or it's negative it's moving you
3:57:45away but nothing is neutral everything
3:57:48counts so with regard to the power of
3:57:49suggestion let's go on and talk about
3:57:51how we complete this process of
3:57:54reprogramming ourselves so that inside
3:57:57we are totally successful human beings
3:58:00so that outside we will be totally
3:58:02positive enthusiastic successful human
3:58:05beings feed your mind the same way you
3:58:08would feed your body feed your mind
3:58:11carefully if you were concerned about
3:58:13physical iCal Health and Longevity you
3:58:15would measure and calculate and look
3:58:17into the foods you eat look carefully
3:58:20into the mental foods that you eat too
3:58:22because these mental Foods by a process
3:58:25what we call the law of accumulation now
3:58:28the law of accumulation is both a mental
3:58:30law as well as a physical law and what
3:58:32it says is that every single thing that
3:58:34you do positive or negative accumulates
3:58:37that every single great achievement in
3:58:39life is the result of thousands of
3:58:41ordinary achievements struggles
3:58:44fallbacks failures minor disappointments
3:58:47every single big accomplishment is
3:58:49preceded by thousands of tiny little
3:58:51accomplishments every overnight success
3:58:54is preceded by years and years and years
3:58:56of working off Broadway every single
3:58:58great Fortune by the way in studying
3:59:00self-made millionaires in America do you
3:59:02know what we found is the average time
3:59:03that it takes to become a millionaire in
3:59:05America is over 20 years of hard work in
3:59:09other words we see a person who is
3:59:10wealthy got a beautiful home beautiful
3:59:12car financially independent but we don't
3:59:14realize that there are years and years
3:59:15and years of hard work struggle and
3:59:18sacrifice that preceded it we see the
3:59:20person we see the end result and we say
3:59:21isn't that person lucky well the fact of
3:59:23the matter is that there's no luck
3:59:25there's just this long process of
3:59:26accumulation and everything counts every
3:59:29single honest effort that you make
3:59:31toward becoming a better person
3:59:34accumulates like a snowball and has an
3:59:36effect every single time you do
3:59:39something that takes you away that
3:59:40wastes your time waste your mind waste
3:59:42your thought and so on that has an
3:59:44effect too and that accumulates now the
3:59:47great mistake that many people make is
3:59:48they go a little bit forward and a
3:59:50little bit backward they do a few things
3:59:52that are good for their mind and a few
3:59:53things that are crummy for their mind
3:59:54and a few things that are good and a few
3:59:56things that are crummy and you know
3:59:57where they end up exactly where they
3:59:58started the good offsets the bad what
4:00:02you have to do is you have to put
4:00:03yourself on the side of the Angels so
4:00:05that your predominant intakes of mental
4:00:08food are positive and constructive and
4:00:11moving you in the direction that you
4:00:12want to go in so we feed your mind
4:00:14number one is read only reading is
4:00:18reading many people today don't like to
4:00:20read but all leaders are readers all
4:00:23leaders are readers read and try to read
4:00:26an average of 1 hour per day we know
4:00:28that if you read 1 hour per day over the
4:00:31course of the day in something that
4:00:33builds your mind something positive and
4:00:34constructive that builds your mind not
4:00:36newspapers not wasted things that just
4:00:39preoccupy your mind but something that
4:00:41builds you and develops you one hour per
4:00:44day can change your life research shows
4:00:46that 1 hour per day in 2 to 3 years you
4:00:50will be an authority on your subject on
4:00:52studying any subject from time
4:00:54management to Nuclear Physics one hour
4:00:56per day will make you an authority 3 to
4:00:585 years will make you an
4:01:01expert and 5 to seven years will make
4:01:04you an international Authority make you
4:01:07one of the most knowledgeable people in
4:01:09that field in the world in just 1 hour a
4:01:12day in any subject and you can pick
4:01:13anything from medicine to uh molecular
4:01:16biology so read an hour per day recent
4:01:19study shows that the average adult in
4:01:22North America reads less than one book a
4:01:25year that 58% of adults in the United
4:01:28States and
4:01:29Canada never finish a non-fiction book
4:01:32after they leave high school when they
4:01:34leave high school you know what they say
4:01:35or they leave University they say thank
4:01:37heavens this is over I'll never read
4:01:39another book as long as I live and they
4:01:42can't understand why they stop growing
4:01:44it is only reading that causes your mind
4:01:47to stretch and grow conversation is good
4:01:51listening is good courses and classes
4:01:53are good watching videotape instruction
4:01:56is good of course uh but only reading is
4:01:59reading and there's no sub people say
4:02:00well I'm not a good reader I didn't
4:02:01learn to read well in school good and
4:02:04set that as one of your goals to become
4:02:06an excellent reader in one year of
4:02:09remedial reading at an evening course
4:02:10you can be reading 3 four 500 Words a
4:02:13minute and change your life in fact
4:02:15according to uh the Gallup
4:02:17organization's poll on who's who in
4:02:19America the Great American success story
4:02:21they found that the top people the top
4:02:231% in this country read an average of 12
4:02:27non-fiction books per year that means
4:02:30that you can join the top 1% in the
4:02:32nation by simply reading one book per
4:02:35month one non-fiction book that develops
4:02:38your mind and expands your ability to
4:02:40think in a subject that interests you
4:02:42one book a month will put you in the top
4:02:441% in a very short period of time if you
4:02:47were to read 30 to 60 minutes each day
4:02:49as I'll recommend later 30 to 60 minutes
4:02:51each day would translate into a book per
4:02:54week a book per week would translate
4:02:55into over 50 books a year now just
4:02:57imagine if you were to Read 50 books a
4:02:59year for the next 10 years how many
4:03:00books would that
4:03:01be that would be about 500 books if you
4:03:04can work it out now let me ask you a
4:03:06very simple question do you think that
4:03:08if you read one book a week for the next
4:03:1010 years in a world where the average
4:03:12person reads less than one book a year
4:03:14do you think that would give you the
4:03:15edge do you think that would affect your
4:03:18life in any way do you think that would
4:03:19change your career and your income do
4:03:21you think it would change your
4:03:22environment do you think it would change
4:03:24everything that goes on around you you
4:03:26bet your bippi it would because by the
4:03:27power of suggestion by feeding your mind
4:03:29with new information 500 books in 10
4:03:32years will transform your life in such a
4:03:34way that you will never be able to
4:03:36recognize it right the next thing with
4:03:38regard to feeding your mind is listen to
4:03:42tapes the discovery of audio cassette
4:03:45learning has been considered the
4:03:47greatest single advance in education
4:03:50since the discovery of the printing
4:03:52press or the invention of the printing
4:03:53press audio cassette learning brings the
4:03:56finest Minds in the world with their
4:03:59finest thoughts thought out scripted
4:04:02edited tightly compressed and put
4:04:05together into your hands for a few
4:04:07dollars of tape and you can walk travel
4:04:10jog with some of the greatest Minds
4:04:13Alive for only a few dollars listen to
4:04:15tapes in your car you know the average
4:04:16person who drives spends 500 to 1,000
4:04:19hours a year in their car 500 to 1,000
4:04:23hours a year the majority of those
4:04:25people sit there and listen to the radio
4:04:27as they we call radio with all due
4:04:30respect to people in the radio industry
4:04:31it's called chewing gum for the ears uh
4:04:34because it just goes on and on 500 to
4:04:361,000 hours is the equivalent of 12 1/2
4:04:39to 25 40h hour weeks
4:04:44you know what that means it means that
4:04:46you are getting the the benefit of or
4:04:49could be getting the benefit of as much
4:04:51as 12 and A2 to 25 40h hour work weeks
4:04:55imagine if your company would send you
4:04:57away for 25 weeks to study every single
4:04:59year at no extra charge do you think
4:05:01that would affect your career and your
4:05:02earning capacity that's the equivalent
4:05:04of one to two University
4:05:07semesters imagine if you were taking the
4:05:09equivalent of one or two University
4:05:11semesters of additional educ ation every
4:05:15single year do you think that would
4:05:17affect your life yes it would so listen
4:05:20to tapes and finally take additional
4:05:23courses become a lifelong
4:05:26student and when I say take additional
4:05:28courses the very best place to take
4:05:30courses is from people who are experts
4:05:32in their field try to avoid taking
4:05:34courses from people who've only got
4:05:36their education out of a textbook take
4:05:38courses from people who are experts take
4:05:40seminars seminars for instance like this
4:05:42seminar that you're attending
4:05:44you can get more information in a one or
4:05:46two day seminar taught by people who
4:05:47spent 10 20 30 years Gathering and
4:05:50compressing the information than you can
4:05:51an entire University course so take
4:05:54additional courses I recommend a minimum
4:05:56of four perom one every 3 months in a
4:06:00world where the average person never
4:06:01takes an additional course 80 to 90% of
4:06:03people never take a course after they
4:06:05leave high school or university if you
4:06:07take four per year listen to tapes in
4:06:09your car and read on a regular basis and
4:06:11by the way where do you get the time for
4:06:12reading just don't read so much news
4:06:13paper simple as that just cut back on
4:06:15the newspaper a little bit and expand
4:06:17the amount of self-development reading
4:06:19that you do where do you get time to
4:06:20listen to tapes just don't listen to so
4:06:22much radio I'm not saying don't listen
4:06:23to radio at all but just don't listen to
4:06:24so much of it where do you get time to
4:06:26take additional courses instead of
4:06:27sitting around on the weekends take a
4:06:28course instead of watching television
4:06:30the evenings go and take a course but
4:06:32remember the clock is running if you
4:06:34want to get to the top of your field if
4:06:36you want to be a leader if you want to
4:06:37be a star in your field knowledge is
4:06:40power knowledge today is more important
4:06:44than anything else knowledge is the
4:06:46great power in our society and the more
4:06:48knowledge you have the more practical
4:06:50knowledge that can be put to purposes
4:06:52that can help other people and benefit
4:06:54yourself and the people around you the
4:06:55more knowledge you have the more power
4:06:57you will have the more self-esteem you
4:06:59will have the more status the more
4:07:01position the more security everything
4:07:03the most insecure person in our society
4:07:05is the person who has stopped learning
4:07:07and growing and they know it all right
4:07:10by the way one other thing according to
4:07:11the Harvard studies one of the key to
4:07:13self motivation is Perpetual growth as
4:07:15long as you're growing and learning and
4:07:17feeding your mind with new material you
4:07:19will be continuously motivated exactly
4:07:21as if you were taking psychological
4:07:22vitamins as soon as you stop growing you
4:07:25start stagnating when you start
4:07:27stagnating your self-esteem goes down
4:07:29your energy level goes down your health
4:07:31level goes down you become prone to more
4:07:33diseases and so on and so forth so as
4:07:34long as you're learning and growing
4:07:36you'll be vital physically and mentally
4:07:38the next part of feeding your
4:07:40mind uh is what we call the reference
4:07:44group or put it another way get around
4:07:46the right people get around the right
4:07:51people now getting around the right
4:07:53people simply means this is that when we
4:07:55talked about the power of suggestion we
4:07:57said that about 85 to 95% of all of the
4:08:01influences in your life all the reasons
4:08:03you do anything is because of suggestive
4:08:05influences around you not only physical
4:08:07suggestions the weather the heat the
4:08:08cold and so on but also the emotional
4:08:11suggestions the impact of the people you
4:08:13associate with and the more you impact
4:08:15the more you associate with people
4:08:17especially people in your family people
4:08:19in your close Social Circle people that
4:08:20you work with the more you associate
4:08:23with these people the more of an impact
4:08:24they have on your thinking and on your
4:08:27future David mclen found at Harvard
4:08:29University after 25 years he found that
4:08:32the choice of a reference group was one
4:08:34of the key determinant of success or
4:08:36failure in life now a reference group
4:08:39are the people that you identify with
4:08:41remember we talked about identification
4:08:43the people that you consider yourself to
4:08:45be one of just simple as that who do you
4:08:48identify with well let me give you an
4:08:50example I was reading the story of a
4:08:51self-made millionaire not long ago and
4:08:54he had started off as a young man when
4:08:56other kids were collecting baseball
4:08:57cards or football cards or hockey cards
4:09:00he became fascinated with Executives of
4:09:03Fortune 500 corporations so he began
4:09:06reading his father's business week
4:09:08Newsweek Fortune Magazine Wall Street
4:09:10Journal and he be began keeping fire on
4:09:14Executives who were in the news and he
4:09:16began to identify with those Executives
4:09:19he began to think about being in a
4:09:21Fortune 500 Corporation and he began to
4:09:23think about being an executive in a
4:09:25Fortune 500 Corporation at a time when
4:09:27some people were thinking about being
4:09:28hockey stars or Baseball Stars the
4:09:30interesting thing was that as he grew up
4:09:32this directional mechanism this role
4:09:34model this reference group that he
4:09:37identified with began to affect what he
4:09:40read in school what he studied uh how
4:09:42much he applied himself how hard he
4:09:45worked what companies he went to work
4:09:47with what company he went to work with
4:09:48when he came out of high school and
4:09:49University and by the time he was 25
4:09:51years old he was an executive of Fortune
4:09:54500 Corporation one of the youngest
4:09:56Executives of a Fortune 500 Corporation
4:09:59in business history but it's because he
4:10:01started at the age of 12 identifying
4:10:04with those question who do you identify
4:10:07with now whoever you identify with today
4:10:09one of the things you have to ask
4:10:10yourself is who would you like to be
4:10:12like who do you want want to identify
4:10:14with and then you start getting around
4:10:16the right people the starting point of
4:10:17getting around the right people is to
4:10:19start to read the magazines that they
4:10:21read if you want to be a successful
4:10:22person in business read successful
4:10:24business magazines you want to be a top
4:10:26salesperson read successful sales
4:10:28magazines marketing magazines books
4:10:30written by top salespeople if you want
4:10:32to be a successful executive if you want
4:10:34to be a successful marketer if you want
4:10:35to be a successful parent then begin
4:10:37getting around these people through
4:10:39their writings through their tapes and
4:10:41through their courses the other thing is
4:10:43to seek them out and begin to associate
4:10:45with winners as we say fly with
4:10:49eagles now let me make one point here
4:10:51that's absolutely critical it is simply
4:10:54this is that if
4:10:55you scratch with the turkeys you can't
4:10:58fly with the Eagles that if you spend
4:11:00time with losers you will be a loser
4:11:03yourself that David meland of Harvard SP
4:11:05found that 99% of the failure rate in
4:11:08life could be attributed to associating
4:11:11with people who were going nowhere
4:11:14because we're so strongly influenced by
4:11:17the people around us we talk like them
4:11:19we walk like them we take on their
4:11:21attitudes their values their beliefs
4:11:23their expectations even their
4:11:25self-concepts if we associate with
4:11:27negative people critical people cynical
4:11:30people lazy people people who waste
4:11:32their time we will become exactly like
4:11:35them every one of us has the tendency to
4:11:38be like a chameleon we take on the
4:11:40colorings and the behaviors of the
4:11:41people around us so it's very important
4:11:44that you make a decision what you want
4:11:46to be like and you begin to associate
4:11:48with people who are like that and
4:11:50especially get away from the losers get
4:11:53away from the no hopers get away from
4:11:55the negative people because these people
4:11:57will drag you down as surely as an
4:11:59anchor would drag you down if it was
4:12:01tied to your leg many people come to me
4:12:03and say well I'm working for a negative
4:12:05boss or I'm in a negative relationship
4:12:07and I say this if you're working for a
4:12:08negative boss you'll never realize your
4:12:10potential working for that boss you'll
4:12:12never be happy and you'll never
4:12:13accomplish everything you're capable of
4:12:14accomplishing they say well if I'm in a
4:12:16negative relationship what do I do I say
4:12:18you have to ask yourself this question
4:12:20do you want to fulfill your potential as
4:12:21a human being or not if you want to
4:12:23fulfill your potential as a human being
4:12:25here's the facts I'm not making the
4:12:27facts up I'm just telling you here's the
4:12:29facts but if you associate with losers
4:12:30you'll be a loser and it's been worked
4:12:32on for 25 years and they can't find any
4:12:34exceptions to it and I've spoken to
4:12:37thousands of people who've told me that
4:12:39coming to terms with this is one of the
4:12:40hardest things that they ever did
4:12:42because sometimes means that you have to
4:12:44say goodbye to family say goodbye to
4:12:46friends say goodbye to relatives say
4:12:48goodbye to relationships but if that is
4:12:50the fact the better sooner you do it the
4:12:53better it's almost like taking out a
4:12:54rotten tooth the sooner you do it the
4:12:56less pain you suffer now with the next
4:12:58part with regard to reference group is
4:13:00this it's what is called The Mastermind
4:13:02Alliance and that is to pick one or two
4:13:06or more people in your environment whom
4:13:08you admire who are positive who are
4:13:10going places who are ambitious and start
4:13:12to get together with them at at least
4:13:13once per week for breakfast or lunch
4:13:15just to talk get around them the
4:13:17something about the fertilization and
4:13:19the Synergy of positive Minds coming
4:13:21together talking about your problems
4:13:23talking about your challenges talking
4:13:24about the future talking about what's
4:13:26going on try to get together with a
4:13:27mastermind Alliance once a week we have
4:13:30found in the research that I've done the
4:13:32research that Napoleon Hill has done
4:13:34that associating with other positive
4:13:35people is one of the triggering
4:13:37influences to Peak Performance it's one
4:13:39of the guarantors that you will become a
4:13:41great success you can't do it by simply
4:13:43associating by yourself all right now
4:13:46another way another way to influence
4:13:49your mind very very important is start
4:13:51each day
4:13:52right start each day
4:13:58right now this is based on the fact that
4:14:00there are two times of the day when you
4:14:02are most suggestive when your
4:14:03subconscious mind is most open to new
4:14:06information and that is nighttime before
4:14:09you go to sleep just when you fall off
4:14:12to sleep and morning these are the two
4:14:15times when your conscious mind is most
4:14:17relaxed and your subconscious mind is
4:14:19most alert so you must use these times
4:14:22as what we call key programming
4:14:23opportunities to put new information
4:14:26into your mind and this is what I
4:14:28suggest you do and it's very very
4:14:30powerful before you go to sleep at night
4:14:32feed your mind with a stream of messages
4:14:34consistent with what you want to be and
4:14:36have and do the next day in other words
4:14:38program yourself for the next day the
4:14:40same way you'd program a computer and
4:14:42what I do is I live down and I close my
4:14:44eyes and I say I wake up in the morning
4:14:46present tense and I feel terrific I wake
4:14:49up in the morning and I feel terrific I
4:14:52wake up in the morning I feel wonderful
4:14:53I feel full of energy I believe tomorrow
4:14:56is going to be a great day I wake up in
4:14:58the morning and I feel terrific and then
4:15:00when you get up in the morning the first
4:15:02thing that you say the first thought
4:15:03that
4:15:05you program into your subconscious
4:15:07computer is I feel terrific I feel
4:15:11terrific I feel terrific I feel terrific
4:15:14I feel terrific what you do is you get
4:15:16up and you say it 1 2 3 four five times
4:15:18and you repeat it over I feel terrific I
4:15:20feel terrific you don't get up in the
4:15:21morning say gez I'm tired gez I'm tired
4:15:23gez I'm tired oh God I'm tired you get
4:15:25in the morning say I feel terrific
4:15:26somebody say how you feel you say I feel
4:15:27terrific even when you feel terrible say
4:15:29I feel terrific you see your
4:15:30subconscious mind can't tell the
4:15:32difference between a real fact and one
4:15:35that you vividly imagine and if you
4:15:36repeat I feel terrific very loud I feel
4:15:39terrific try it yourself I feel terrific
4:15:41I feel terrific I feel terrific what
4:15:42Happ the subconscious mind believes it
4:15:44maybe you do feel terrific and it will
4:15:45actually give you a surge of energy that
4:15:47will wake you up and clear your mind
4:15:49even before you have coffee now the
4:15:51second thing that you do in the morning
4:15:53this is number one second thing that you
4:15:54do to start your day off well is to read
4:15:57for 30 to 60 Minutes get up early enough
4:15:59to read for 30 to 60 Minutes in
4:16:01something that is motivational something
4:16:03that is inspirational something that is
4:16:06educational something that uplifts your
4:16:10mind what we call mental protein not
4:16:12newspaper not magazine not television
4:16:14not radio get up in the morning sit down
4:16:16and read something really good for
4:16:18yourself read something that makes you
4:16:20feel really good about yourself in your
4:16:21day I read spiritually oriented material
4:16:23every single morning and with this is
4:16:25called by the way the golden hour if you
4:16:28will do this as a result of attending
4:16:30this seminar if you will begin to read
4:16:32every morning for 30 to 60 Minutes in
4:16:34something that uplifts your mind this
4:16:36alone will be worth all the time you
4:16:37spend in a seminar this habit of using
4:16:40the golden hour the first hour in the
4:16:42morning when your mind is wide open to
4:16:43new information using it constructively
4:16:46is one of the most powerful success
4:16:48techniques I've ever found in my entire
4:16:50life I've had hundreds of people come
4:16:52back to me and say this has changed
4:16:53their life just getting up a little bit
4:16:55early so you can sit and read quietly
4:16:57you will become so addicted to using
4:16:59that golden hour that you will not be
4:17:02able to do without it even if you have
4:17:03to get up tired even if you have to get
4:17:05up long before you have to go to work
4:17:07get up and milk that golden hour fill
4:17:10your mind full of Rich mental prote
4:17:13beautiful thoughts and ideas uplift your
4:17:15mind and you'll find that your whole day
4:17:17will go better and the third step is
4:17:20review your goals every morning review
4:17:23your goals every
4:17:26morning every morning before you start
4:17:28out review your goals just just the same
4:17:31as if you were on a long motor trip or
4:17:32if you were at Sea you'd look at the map
4:17:34you'd shoot the stars and the Moon in
4:17:36other words you take a look at where you
4:17:38are and you would plot your destination
4:17:40and you would think about it because
4:17:41when you review your goals you program
4:17:43them into your subconscious
4:17:45mind well programming them into your
4:17:48subconscious mind by repeating them
4:17:50every day and using that wonderful
4:17:52technique that golden hour I learned
4:17:54this many years ago and I've been
4:17:56absolutely astonished those three points
4:17:58wake up in the morning it's got to feel
4:18:00terrific read for 30 to 60 minutes and
4:18:03write and review your goals every single
4:18:06morning and the most remarkable thing
4:18:07that happens is you start off every day
4:18:10supercharged you start off every day
4:18:11feeling positive you start off every day
4:18:13feeling energetic so let's just review
4:18:16for a second and I'm going to wrap up
4:18:17with two really critical points we
4:18:20talked about the power of suggestion
4:18:21remember that everything counts
4:18:22everything that you read everything that
4:18:24you listen to everything that you watch
4:18:25on television every magazine that you
4:18:27pick up every conversation that you have
4:18:30positive or negative is affecting your
4:18:32subconscious mind which is programming
4:18:34your future remember your external world
4:18:37is a reflection of your internal World
4:18:39your external world is a reflection of
4:18:41your internal world if there is
4:18:43negativity concern anxiety fear in your
4:18:45internal world then it's going to be
4:18:47reflected in your external world so be
4:18:49sure that what you're taking into your
4:18:51mental diet is just as pure as what you
4:18:54would take into a physical diet if you
4:18:56wanted to sustain high levels of
4:18:58physical health and energy absolutely
4:19:00important feed your mind with books feed
4:19:03your mind with tapes feed your mind with
4:19:05positive conversations feed your mind
4:19:07with courses go and attend and listen to
4:19:09experts feed your mind with positive
4:19:12people if one of the uh recommendations
4:19:16that one of the business philosophers
4:19:17says is poor people should take rich
4:19:20people out to lunch why because taking a
4:19:22rich person out to lunch is an
4:19:24opportunity to learn from that rich
4:19:26person to get information from that
4:19:27person that you could not buy at any
4:19:29price poor people should take rich
4:19:31people out to lunch get around the
4:19:34winners think about the winner that you
4:19:36want to be and look around you in your
4:19:38world and say who is like the person
4:19:40that I want to be here's another very
4:19:42important point in terms of mental
4:19:43programming it's simply this is discard
4:19:46past
4:19:47labels discard past
4:19:51labels don't ever allow anybody to tag
4:19:54you with the way that you used to be if
4:19:57you were late before don't anybody allow
4:19:59anybody to say well you're always late
4:20:01you say no you say in the past I was
4:20:04late but now I am punctual you can't
4:20:07control your your eating in the past I
4:20:10overate but now I eat sensibly and
4:20:12soundly you're irritable and impatient
4:20:14no in the past I was but now I am these
4:20:17are the words in the past I was past
4:20:20tense in the past I was remember the
4:20:23subconscious is listening but now I
4:20:26am but now I am blank blank blank
4:20:30whatever it happens to be in the past I
4:20:33didn't work very effectively but now I
4:20:35am an effective worker in the past I
4:20:36didn't manage my time well but now I
4:20:38manage my time well now if you make a
4:20:40mistake and you fall back then what you
4:20:42do do is you just simply cancel the
4:20:43mistake by saying well next time I'll
4:20:47you show up late for an appointment you
4:20:49say well next time I'll be on time Etc
4:20:53next time I'll those are the words you
4:20:55cancel every mistake you refuse to carry
4:20:58past labels forward underlining all
4:21:02this teach
4:21:04others teach what you know to people who
4:21:07are interested teach what you know to
4:21:10people who are interested
4:21:12because remember you become what you
4:21:15teach you will find that the more you
4:21:17teach other people and share this
4:21:19information with other people the more
4:21:20you internalize it yourself you become
4:21:23what you teach does this material work I
4:21:27can tell you yes it does work since I
4:21:29began to teach this material since I
4:21:31began to lecture on it and tape on it
4:21:33since I began to speak to hundreds and
4:21:34thousands of people I have internalized
4:21:37all the things that we talk about in
4:21:38this course and everything that I talk
4:21:40about here when I first began teaching I
4:21:42hope it worked I thought it worked I
4:21:45sort of believed it worked but now I
4:21:47know it works having taught it I've
4:21:49internalized it having internalized it I
4:21:51have seen examples of every single bit
4:21:54of this back everything that you do with
4:21:57confident
4:21:59expectations an attitude of confident
4:22:01expectations is the mark of the truly
4:22:03healthy personality remember we talked
4:22:05about the power of expectations an
4:22:07attitude of confident expectations means
4:22:10that you confidently expect good things
4:22:11to happen you have have an attitude of
4:22:13positive
4:22:21self-excluders
4:22:23paranoid as you know a paranoid is a
4:22:25person who is convinced that the world
4:22:26is out to get him that the whole world
4:22:28is conspiring to get him an inverse
4:22:31paranoid is a person who is convinced
4:22:33that the world is conspiring to do him
4:22:36or her good so become an inverse
4:22:39paranoid be absolutely convinced that
4:22:40the world has got a plot out there it's
4:22:42plotting to do you good it's plotting to
4:22:45somehow get good to you whether you like
4:22:47it or not that no matter what happens
4:22:49look into it for the good no matter what
4:22:53happens this is the key to becoming an
4:22:55inverse paranoid look for the good
4:22:58expect the best and look for the good
4:23:01expect the best and look for the good
4:23:04Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the
4:23:07measure of healthy personality is your
4:23:09ability to look for the good in
4:23:11everything around you your propensity to
4:23:13look for the good you have to ask
4:23:14yourself how much of the time do you
4:23:15look for the good how much of the time
4:23:17do you expect the bad the degree to
4:23:18which you look for the good is the
4:23:20degree to which you are healthy as a
4:23:22human being and finally remember this
4:23:25the process of changing from where you
4:23:27are now here's where you are to here's
4:23:30your goal this is where you want to go
4:23:32the process of getting from here to here
4:23:35is Progressive but this is what happens
4:23:37when you begin to visualize and affirm
4:23:39and imagine and write and plan your new
4:23:42self that is say you want to earn
4:23:43$50,000 a year and you began you're
4:23:46currently earning $25,000 a year and
4:23:48your goal is to earn $50,000 a year what
4:23:51happens is this you keep saying you
4:23:53start to affirm and visualize over and
4:23:55over again I weigh or I earn $50,000 a
4:23:57year I earn $50,000 a year I earn
4:23:59$50,000 a year your subconscious mind
4:24:02disbelieves it but as you say it over
4:24:04and over again your subconscious mind
4:24:05still disbelieves it but as you repeated
4:24:07it I earn $50,000 a year I earn $50,000
4:24:09a year I earn $50,000 a year the
4:24:11disbelief shrinks and your disbelief
4:24:14gets smaller and smaller eventually you
4:24:15actually overcome your own skepticism
4:24:18and finally you reach the position where
4:24:20you NE believe nor disbelieve but as you
4:24:21keep repeating it and thinking about it
4:24:23and reading and studying it and saying
4:24:24over and over again I earn $50,000 a
4:24:26year I earn $50,000 a year I earn
4:24:27$50,000 a year eventually you start to
4:24:30believe it just a little bit also you
4:24:31start to get a slight increase in pay
4:24:33and your salary goes to $26,000 a year
4:24:36and then you get a bonus and you find
4:24:37yourself earning 27,000 and so on you
4:24:39find that the more you repeat it and
4:24:41affirm it and visualize it and plan for
4:24:43it and prepare for it the more it comes
4:24:45into your life and you just keep saying
4:24:47I earn $50,000 a year and you begin to
4:24:49believe it more and more and you believe
4:24:51it more and more and as you repeat it
4:24:52and visualize it and affirm it and over
4:24:54and over again your belief grows and
4:24:56grows and grows and eventually it gets
4:24:58to the point where you absolutely
4:25:00believe that you earn $50,000 a year and
4:25:02if somebody were to wake you up at 3:00
4:25:04in the morning give you a check and say
4:25:05how much do you earn you say $50,000 a
4:25:06year even though still at this point
4:25:08you've never earned more than 27,000 in
4:25:11your whole life
4:25:13now this is the way all our beliefs
4:25:15change we start off with where we are
4:25:18now we look at where we want to be in
4:25:20the future and we begin to feed our mind
4:25:23with new mental food consistent with
4:25:25where we want to be as we feed our mind
4:25:27with that new mental food we start off
4:25:29with a lot of disbelief and skepticism
4:25:31as a matter of fact your skepticism and
4:25:33disbelief is the biggest obstacle to
4:25:35your success but as we repeat it over
4:25:37and over again as we continue to work on
4:25:40ourselves and to work on the situation
4:25:42we begin to believe more and more that
4:25:44it's possible we begin to impress the
4:25:45possibility of it deeper and deeper into
4:25:47the subconscious now in propaganda this
4:25:50is called the big
4:25:53lie the big lie theory was the discovery
4:25:56that if you repeated anything over and
4:25:58over again often enough that even the
4:26:00most intelligent person would come to
4:26:02believe it with regard to your life and
4:26:04to my life this is called the big truth
4:26:08the big truth is that you can be have
4:26:10and do anything that you want if you
4:26:13want it badly enough and are willing to
4:26:15make the efforts that anything that you
4:26:17can hold in your mind on a continuing
4:26:19basis you can be have or do you will
4:26:22become what you think about your only
4:26:25job is to make a very very clear
4:26:27decision about the person you want to be
4:26:30the things that you want to have the
4:26:32goals that you want to accomplish and
4:26:34then make sure that you feed your mind
4:26:36continuously day by day week by week
4:26:38hour by hour with words pictures images
4:26:41ideas thoughts and information
4:26:44consistent with your goals and your
4:26:46ideals keep your mind on what you want
4:26:49keep it off of what you don't want and
4:26:52everything is possible for you
4:27:13[Music]
4:27:19Brian
4:27:23Tracy
4:27:25[Music]
4:27:35Phoenix session 12 software for the
4:27:38brain what is the most precious resource
4:27:40in your life will if you're like I am
4:27:43your most precious resource is time and
4:27:45according to all the recent studies that
4:27:47have been done lately adults in America
4:27:49and Canada and other countries value
4:27:52Time ahead of money in almost every
4:27:54instance now as a result of what we've
4:27:57talked about in our previous sessions
4:27:58with the fact that if you change your
4:27:59internal world you change your external
4:28:01world one of the things that begins to
4:28:03well up inside of you is impatience if
4:28:06you believe that if you do change your
4:28:08internal programming your external world
4:28:10will change to conform with it then your
4:28:12probably in a hurry to change that
4:28:14internal programming and in this session
4:28:16we're going to talk about how you can
4:28:17bring about rapid and permanent internal
4:28:20programming change we call this session
4:28:23software for the brain now I don't know
4:28:25a lot about computers but I do know this
4:28:27I do know that a computer has a certain
4:28:30amount of utility as a piece of Hardware
4:28:32but what makes a computer work are the
4:28:34programs that you run in it and the more
4:28:37sophisticated and complex and productive
4:28:40the programs the more value is the
4:28:42computer so what we're going to do today
4:28:44is we're going to take the things that
4:28:46we talked about in terms of mental
4:28:48programming visualization and
4:28:49affirmation and so on and we're going to
4:28:51combine them into a series of techniques
4:28:54that you can use to multiply or to speed
4:28:57up the process at which your new
4:28:59thoughts and ideas are accepted by your
4:29:02subconscious mind and then go to work
4:29:04and attract them into your reality and
4:29:08the first technique we're going to talk
4:29:09about is what I call written programming
4:29:12technique it's one of the simplest of
4:29:14all and yet it is so powerful that it's
4:29:16almost scary again I've said this to
4:29:18many audiences but I'll say it to you is
4:29:21that if you just practice this one
4:29:23technique it will be worth 10 times the
4:29:26time and price of this program if it's
4:29:28all you learn is this one technique it
4:29:30will have an astonishing difference on
4:29:32your results when I first learned about
4:29:33this and applied it some years ago I
4:29:35couldn't believe how effective it was
4:29:37and all it requires to use is discipline
4:29:40plus one of these now this is what I use
4:29:43it's a spiral notebook it costs here
4:29:45$1.99 Walgreens drugs all it has is line
4:29:49pages and what you do is you use this to
4:29:52write and rewrite your goals it's very
4:29:54simple you buy one for $1.99 and you use
4:29:57this as the basis of written programming
4:30:00technique let me explain to you how it
4:30:02works written programming technique is
4:30:05based on the fact that we learn or take
4:30:07in information three ways we take in
4:30:10information auditorily in other words we
4:30:13hear the information or we speak the
4:30:15information we take it in visually we
4:30:18see the information and we take it in
4:30:20kinesthetically is we feel the
4:30:24information now any one of these is a
4:30:27good way of learning or if you like
4:30:29bringing in information to the
4:30:30unconscious mind however the more of
4:30:32them you can combine simultaneously
4:30:35along with some of the other mental
4:30:36principles and programming techniques
4:30:38that we've talked about the more rapidly
4:30:40the information is accepted sometimes if
4:30:42you combine information in the right way
4:30:44it's accepted instantaneously as a
4:30:46permanent change in your unconscious
4:30:48programming written programming
4:30:50technique is based on this as are some
4:30:53of the other programming techniques
4:30:55which we'll talk about in the next few
4:30:56minutes written programming technique is
4:30:59based on the fact that when you write
4:31:01something down it requires total
4:31:04concentration law of concentration you
4:31:06cannot write accurately and correctly
4:31:09and think of anything else at the same
4:31:11time so write writing requires
4:31:12concentration it also requires intensity
4:31:16it also requires visual because you
4:31:18can't write without looking and when you
4:31:20do write you have a tendency to what is
4:31:22called subvocalize in other words you
4:31:23say the words to yourself as you're
4:31:25writing so even though you can't hear
4:31:26them with a conscious ear you hear them
4:31:28internally and kinesthetically you move
4:31:30and you feel it requires tremendous
4:31:33mental emotional and physical energy to
4:31:35write so written programming technique
4:31:36simply says this is that every single
4:31:40morning without fail you rewrite your
4:31:42major goals after you've done your
4:31:44reading you rewrite your major goals now
4:31:48this whole process by the way can take
4:31:50about 2 minutes maybe five you may get
4:31:53to the point as I do where you'll write
4:31:5410 20 30 sometimes even an hour but you
4:31:57just rewrite your major goals as
4:31:59positive present tense personal
4:32:02affirmations in other words your P your
4:32:04goals could be I earn X number of
4:32:06dollars per month I weigh X number of
4:32:09pounds I am outstanding in my field
4:32:12I do this I achieve I accomplish I
4:32:16choose and so on whatever you want to be
4:32:18have or do you just write it out in a
4:32:20series of affirmations one at a time now
4:32:23you'll find and we'll talk about goal
4:32:24setting later on you'll find that as you
4:32:26write your goals over and over again an
4:32:28interesting thing will happen is that
4:32:30your more important goals will tend to
4:32:32be Rewritten first and they'll tend to
4:32:34become clarified and to become sharper
4:32:37and more distinct and every single time
4:32:38you rewrite your major goals you are
4:32:40driving them you are impressing them
4:32:43deeper into the subconscious which leads
4:32:45to the guarantee that they will be
4:32:48expressed in your reality every time you
4:32:50rewrite your major goals you're
4:32:52programming into them into your
4:32:53subconscious and you're setting them as
4:32:55a directional mechanism the same way you
4:32:57would set the directional mechanism on a
4:32:58guided missile so that it will move you
4:33:01uniring in the direction of
4:33:03accomplishing it number two is close
4:33:06your eyes after you've Rewritten your
4:33:08goals close your eyes and visualize your
4:33:12major goal or goals of the day as
4:33:15accomplished visualize them as a reality
4:33:18what would they look like now a very
4:33:20valuable thing to do by the way is cut
4:33:21out cripping from magazines and books
4:33:23and put them in your notebook so that
4:33:26you can actually look at a picture do
4:33:27you want to earn own a brand new car or
4:33:29a beautiful house or something like that
4:33:30well then get a picture of it and make a
4:33:32very clear picture so when you write out
4:33:33the goal you can look at the picture and
4:33:35then close your eyes and feed that
4:33:37picture into your subconscious mind and
4:33:40then the third part which is most
4:33:41important is imagine the feeling of
4:33:44pleasure you would have imagine the
4:33:47feeling of pleasure you would have if
4:33:50you already owned it just imagine that
4:33:53it is already a reality the way that you
4:33:55imagine that it's a reality is imagine
4:33:57that you are on a path toward your goal
4:34:00and your goal is on a path toward you
4:34:02and that there is a predestined time
4:34:05when you are ready and it's ready when
4:34:07everything is ready that you and the
4:34:09goal will meet and that you cannot speak
4:34:11speed up the time you can't make it go
4:34:13faster and you can't make it go slower
4:34:15but what you can do is continually
4:34:17repeat the picture and the feeling and
4:34:19the description over and over again and
4:34:21at exactly the right time and place it
4:34:24will meet someday you'll probably write
4:34:26me a letter and you'll tell me how
4:34:27remarkably this has worked in your life
4:34:29because it's worked remarkably in my
4:34:31life and the life of many other people
4:34:33now the second point and let's before we
4:34:34go on with this let me give you a key
4:34:36point it's called The Law of relaxation
4:34:38the law of relaxation is one of the most
4:34:40important mental laws
4:34:42well the law of relaxation simply says
4:34:45this that in the physical world if you
4:34:47want to drive a nail the harder you hit
4:34:49it the more physical effort or energy
4:34:52you put behind it the faster you
4:34:54accomplish something in the physical
4:34:56world if you want to drive a car faster
4:34:57you step on the gas which causes the
4:34:59engine to work harder and propels It
4:35:01Forward however in the mental realm it's
4:35:04exactly the opposite the law of
4:35:06relaxation says that in all mental
4:35:08working effort defeats itself in all
4:35:12mental
4:35:14working effort defeats itself what does
4:35:17this mean it
4:35:19means that the harder you don't try the
4:35:24better it
4:35:25works now it's interesting I'll give you
4:35:27perfect example relationships you will
4:35:29notice that in any relationship of yours
4:35:31that works the harder you try to make a
4:35:34relationship work the more difficult it
4:35:35is because a relationship is basically a
4:35:37Meeting of Minds and and whenever you
4:35:40just relax and let the relationship flow
4:35:43the relationship unfolds exactly the way
4:35:45it should if ever you try to speed
4:35:47something up or slow it down out of its
4:35:49own time you create a crisis you create
4:35:52tension stress and anxiety so anything
4:35:55that has to do with mental working
4:35:57anything that has to do with minds and
4:35:59all interactions between people have to
4:36:01do with Minds anything that has to do
4:36:03with goals and dreams and plans requires
4:36:05that you just relax and let it unfold
4:36:08that's why we say close your eyes
4:36:10visualize imagine imagine the feeling
4:36:12and just relax without making any effort
4:36:15and the more relaxed you are the more
4:36:17rapidly the idea is accepted by the
4:36:18subconscious mind now the next technique
4:36:21is what is called the quick affirmation
4:36:22technique or quick programming
4:36:25technique quick programming
4:36:27technique is used specifically before
4:36:31any non-recurring event of importance
4:36:33before any non-recurring that means an
4:36:36an event that happens only
4:36:39once for instance if you're going to be
4:36:41in a sports event or if you're going to
4:36:44go into an interview for a job or a
4:36:46raise or if you're going to make a sales
4:36:48presentation by the way all top
4:36:50salespeople use this quick programming
4:36:52technique it's very very powerful what
4:36:54it does is it has a temporary effect but
4:36:58it sets you up psychologically
4:36:59physically mentally it programs your
4:37:01self-concept and your subconscious to
4:37:04give you the words and actions and
4:37:05behaviors that are perfectly appropriate
4:37:08to the situation all athletes use this
4:37:10as we'll talk about in in a second now
4:37:12how do you use Quick programming
4:37:13technique well let us say that you have
4:37:15a talk coming up a good friend of mine
4:37:16just gave a a very important talk to
4:37:192500 people and he was very tense and
4:37:21worried about I said look this all you
4:37:22have to do is each time you think about
4:37:24this talk that's coming up just close
4:37:25your eyes and use this technique and
4:37:27just think like this first of all
4:37:32visualize the perfect
4:37:35outcome visualize the perfect outcome in
4:37:38other words visualize if if you could
4:37:40script what was coming up the interview
4:37:43with your boss the sales presentation
4:37:45visualize the perfect outcome in other
4:37:47words the perfect outcome for a
4:37:49discussion about a raise would be the
4:37:51boss giving you the raise the perfect
4:37:53outcome of a sales conversation is the
4:37:54person signing the sales order the
4:37:56perfect outcome of a job application is
4:37:58getting a job in this case my friend's
4:38:00situation his perfect outcome was a
4:38:02standing ovation so he visualized a
4:38:04standing ovation that's what he
4:38:05programmed into his mind he saw the
4:38:07entire audience rising to their feet in
4:38:09a standing ovation at the end of The
4:38:11Talk
4:38:11then
4:38:13affirm the
4:38:15visualization in other
4:38:18words it could be as simple as this talk
4:38:22goes beautifully or this talk is
4:38:24extremely successful or I feel
4:38:26absolutely perfect going into this talk
4:38:29or this talk is a complete success in
4:38:32other words give an affirmation that is
4:38:34consistent with it and affirm the
4:38:36visualization and then emotionalize
4:38:40it or or imagine how you would feel if
4:38:43you experienced it and release and this
4:38:46is the key word and then just release it
4:38:50as though it had already happened just
4:38:52let it go as though it had already
4:38:54happened as though you were already past
4:38:56the event and the perfect outcome of the
4:38:59event has already occurred as you
4:39:01release it and let it go it drops like a
4:39:04computer card into the computer and the
4:39:06subconscious computer goes to work on it
4:39:08powerful powerful technique and this
4:39:10technique is based on what is called
4:39:11mental rehearsal now mental rehearsal is
4:39:15a technique that is used by all Peak
4:39:18Performing men and women it's used by
4:39:20all self-made millionaires all
4:39:22outstanding salespeople all top
4:39:23Executives all Olympic athletes all
4:39:26world champions and any field use Mental
4:39:28rehearsal and mental rehearsal is the
4:39:31process of living the experience inside
4:39:35before you have it on the outside that
4:39:38means before any event of importance
4:39:40long sh term or short term what top
4:39:43performers do is they
4:39:46recall and relive Excellence they recall
4:39:50and relive excellence in other words
4:39:54they think of the last time that they
4:39:57engaged in a performance like this and
4:40:00the satisfaction that they had the
4:40:01pleasure that they had the feeling of an
4:40:03excellent performance and they take that
4:40:06feeling it's almost like they have a
4:40:07screen here and here's the screen you
4:40:09take a split screen and and on this side
4:40:12of the screen you recall the last time
4:40:15you did this in an excellent fashion and
4:40:17on this side of the screen you imagine
4:40:19the upcoming event and then when you get
4:40:21this perfectly clearly in your mind and
4:40:25you can see it with perfect clarity that
4:40:26last Triumph that last success the last
4:40:29sale that you closed the last interview
4:40:31that went well the last successful party
4:40:33or meeting or social engagement then you
4:40:35transfer this into the new situation
4:40:39that's upcoming and you transfer the
4:40:41feeling and the experience and you
4:40:43overlay the two so that as you
4:40:46anticipate the upcoming experience you
4:40:48combine it with the feelings of success
4:40:50and pleasure and joy of the previous
4:40:53excellent experience what that does is
4:40:55it programs the subconscious mind for
4:40:57you to go into that experience and
4:40:58engage in the same words actions and
4:41:00behaviors you that got you the results
4:41:02of success and winning the last time now
4:41:05what is the difference between winners
4:41:06and losers major difference between
4:41:07winners and losers can you imagine what
4:41:10it is winners versus losers it's simply
4:41:13this is that we all engage in mental
4:41:15rehearsal you me everybody the
4:41:17difference between winners and losers is
4:41:18this is that prior to every event
4:41:20upcoming event losers think of the last
4:41:23time they went into an experience like
4:41:24this and it didn't work out they think
4:41:27of their previous failures they vividly
4:41:30imagine and think about how embarrassed
4:41:32humiliated unsuccessful how badly they
4:41:35felt and the losers relive and recall
4:41:38failure and poor performance the winner
4:41:41ERS insist upon reliving and recalling
4:41:44excellence and success so you can tell
4:41:46if you're destined to be a winner or a
4:41:48loser simply by looking at what you
4:41:50think about in each coming event and if
4:41:52you just make the decision right now to
4:41:54think about what you desire ask yourself
4:41:57am I thinking about what I want to
4:41:58happen or am I thinking about what I'm
4:42:00afraid will happen remember the natural
4:42:02tendency is to think about what you're
4:42:04afraid of not what you desire so force
4:42:07your mind using the law of substitution
4:42:09take your mind off of what to fear and
4:42:12refuse to entertain it there's a
4:42:14beautiful technique that I learned many
4:42:15years ago whenever you start to think
4:42:16about something that's causing you to be
4:42:18upset or anxious or or tense just say
4:42:20this word very very loud to yourself say
4:42:25stop stop it's very much the same as
4:42:28knocking the side of a record player and
4:42:30joking the needle off the record player
4:42:32or slamming on a tape recorder or
4:42:34shouting at a person who's saying
4:42:35something just say stop and what it will
4:42:37do is temporarily it will stop your mind
4:42:40and as it stops mind then switch your
4:42:42attention onto what you desire and
4:42:45insist upon thinking about what you
4:42:46desire and every single time you find
4:42:47your thoughts drifting back to what
4:42:49you're afraid of say stop and get your
4:42:52mind onto what you desire here's a very
4:42:54simple uh diagram or graph and it's like
4:42:58this this is what you desire this is
4:43:01what you
4:43:03fear now here are you on this slope
4:43:07between what you desire and what you
4:43:08fear going up or going down this however
4:43:11is easy the natural tendency of human
4:43:14nature is to focus on what is negative
4:43:17and to slide back into what they fear
4:43:20what is the worst possible outcome this
4:43:24requires
4:43:25effort it requires a consistent effort
4:43:28to keep your mind on what you want now
4:43:30most people are lazy most people are
4:43:32undisciplined most people are not
4:43:33willing to make the effort so what they
4:43:35do is they have a tendency to slide into
4:43:37thinking about what is the worst thing
4:43:40that can possibly happen they slide into
4:43:43negativity that's why the great majority
4:43:45of people today are negative and very
4:43:47few people are positive so be alert to
4:43:48that is that whenever you find yourself
4:43:51thinking about something that's coming
4:43:52up in advance it's natural to be filled
4:43:54with doubt and fear are natural human
4:43:57Tendencies for a variety of reasons that
4:43:59we talked about before but the superior
4:44:01human being keeps their mind on what
4:44:03they want the superior human being stops
4:44:05the negative thoughts the superior human
4:44:07being concentrates on excellent
4:44:09performance now somebody will say well
4:44:11I've never done it before how can I
4:44:12concentrate or how can I recall and
4:44:14relive Excellence easy in your
4:44:16imagination you can pretend and imagine
4:44:19that you've done this before pretend
4:44:21that you've already succeeded at this
4:44:23think about how you would act if you
4:44:24were a superb success in this area walk
4:44:28as though you were a success in neur
4:44:30linguistic programming they find that
4:44:32there is a physiological state or way of
4:44:35walking talking and acting that is
4:44:37consistent with every emotional state
4:44:39and that if you walk and talk and act
4:44:40the same way you would if you felt
4:44:41confident as we said earlier you'll
4:44:43actually feel the feelings of confidence
4:44:45that go with the behavior very important
4:44:47now here's another technique it's called
4:44:50standard programming technique or
4:44:52standard affirmation
4:44:55technique and this technique is
4:44:58done with cards uh index cards and or
4:45:02you can use a series of goals on a piece
4:45:05of paper very powerful technique what
4:45:07you do with this is that here's the
4:45:09steps to standard affirm techniques you
4:45:11set your goals you can set 10 to 15
4:45:13goals your subconscious mind can work to
4:45:1610 on 10 to 15 goals at a time of course
4:45:19you have to have your goals in priority
4:45:20but you don't have to worry about that
4:45:21about 10 to 15 goals number two is you
4:45:24take twice daily morning and evening
4:45:26twice daily morning and
4:45:29evening you take some time off where
4:45:32number three you can be with no
4:45:38interruptions and then you write out
4:45:39your goals again in the form form of
4:45:41positive present tense personal
4:45:43affirmations okay goals
4:45:47as positive present tense personal
4:45:50affirmations on
4:45:52cards now many people advise that you
4:45:55use index cards so that you can slide
4:45:57the cards back and forth like this um
4:45:59and just put one on top of the other and
4:46:01write your goal in very very large clear
4:46:04letters so that the subconscious mind
4:46:06can see the goal with Crystal Clarity
4:46:08and then you sit down with the goals and
4:46:11you read the goal to yourself you read
4:46:13the goal or the affirmation to yourself
4:46:16read
4:46:19repeat and then close your
4:46:22eyes so let us say the goal is I earn
4:46:25$50,000 a year so we say on the card I
4:46:27earn $50,000 I earn $50,000 a year you
4:46:30read it you repeat it I earn $50,000 and
4:46:33you close your eyes and repeat it three
4:46:35to five times repeat the goal the goal
4:46:38three to five times and the number six
4:46:40step number six is
4:46:43visualize the outcome in other words if
4:46:46you earn $50,000 a year what would be
4:46:49the outcome would it be a bigger car
4:46:51would it be a bigger house would it be a
4:46:54um uh a trip to Tahiti would it be a
4:46:56different wardrobe would it be a Rolex
4:46:58watch in other words visualize the
4:46:59outcome not the process so much as what
4:47:03the result would be or another thing
4:47:05that you can do by the way is you can
4:47:06visualize the work let us say that you
4:47:09are going to earn $50,000 and you
4:47:11imagine you will earn it in your
4:47:12existing profession then visualize
4:47:14yourself doing the work in such an
4:47:16excellent fashion that will it will
4:47:18actually generate the income and then
4:47:20step number seven is imagine the feeling
4:47:24imagine the feeling that would accompany
4:47:26the accomplishment of your goal imagine
4:47:29the feeling close your eyes and as you
4:47:33sit there with your cards looking at
4:47:35your cards imagine the feeling of
4:47:37satisfaction as though the goal is
4:47:39already accomplished imagine imagine the
4:47:41feeling of pleasure imagine the feeling
4:47:43of accomplishment let us say that what
4:47:44you're going to do is you're going to
4:47:46give yourself a trip to Tahiti you're
4:47:48going to go to the South Seas you're
4:47:50going to lay on the beach you're going
4:47:52to swim in the beautiful surf you're
4:47:54going to soak up the sun and get this
4:47:56beautiful tan then start thinking about
4:47:58that another thing that you can do by
4:48:00the way is get brochures on Tahiti get a
4:48:03poster of tahti get a poster of a cruise
4:48:06ship get pictures of the things that
4:48:08you're going to do and have and enjoy
4:48:10that you associate because the more
4:48:12emotions you can associate with the
4:48:15accomplishment of the goal the more
4:48:16rapidly the subconscious accepts it as
4:48:18an instruction and the more rapidly you
4:48:20go to work on it now here's what I use
4:48:23by the way here's what you can use you
4:48:24can use cards like this which are just
4:48:26index cards these ones don't have any
4:48:28lines but you can use cards with lines
4:48:30and you just sit there and you just
4:48:32write out your goal and as you read the
4:48:34goal repeat it three to five times
4:48:36imagine it visualize it see yourself
4:48:38doing whatever is necessary visualize
4:48:40the outcome and then just change the
4:48:42card and go on to the next one the more
4:48:44relaxed you are when you do this
4:48:46exercise because of the law of
4:48:48relaxation the most more rapidly the
4:48:49subconscious accepts it here's something
4:48:51else that you might want to get it's one
4:48:53of these spiral cards with index cards
4:48:56throughout it that you can write a
4:48:58variety of different affirmations on
4:49:00carry it around with you and just flip
4:49:01it write affirmations down whenever you
4:49:03think of something that you want write
4:49:04it down and then just take some time
4:49:05every so often to review your
4:49:07affirmations now one file technique is
4:49:10what is called Sports Programming
4:49:11technique which combines all the others
4:49:13it's used by all top Olympic athletes it
4:49:15combines mental rehearsal and relaxation
4:49:18it's based on what is called autogenic
4:49:20conditioning which means that if you
4:49:21want to become better at a sport the
4:49:23technique is very simple first of all
4:49:26get some instruction in the sport learn
4:49:28from an expert study and learn what
4:49:31excellent performance in the sport
4:49:32constitutes second of all before you go
4:49:35to sleep or sitting in a very relaxed
4:49:37position take several deep deep breaths
4:49:40and relax your body and then visualize
4:49:43perfect Sports Performance say you want
4:49:45to be a better skier very simple what
4:49:48you do is you learn how to ski you look
4:49:50at films and pictures of people skiing
4:49:53excellently and then you visualize
4:49:55yourself actually being the skier you
4:49:57close your eyes and you do two types of
4:50:00visualization the first type of
4:50:02visualization is where you look at
4:50:03yourself actually skiing you look at
4:50:06yourself and you look at your
4:50:07performance look at yourself going down
4:50:09the slope look at yourself turning
4:50:10putting in the poles twisting and so on
4:50:13you look at yourself skiing beautifully
4:50:15and watch yourself going almost as
4:50:17though you were a spectator the second
4:50:20part of the visualization is you then
4:50:22shift your point of attention and you
4:50:25look at yourself from your own eyes and
4:50:28actually see yourself going down the
4:50:30slope Sports affirmation technique is
4:50:33used by all the major football teams the
4:50:36basketball teams the major figure
4:50:38skaters the top golfers virtually all
4:50:40Olympic athletes train in their minds
4:50:43over and over again for instance skaters
4:50:47will sit down close their eyes put on
4:50:49their music and then they will go
4:50:51through their entire skating routine in
4:50:53their minds while their music is playing
4:50:56what happens is of course that in your
4:50:57mind you never fall so they program
4:51:00their minds over and over again and this
4:51:03is based on a very simple fact is that
4:51:04every time we visualize in action we
4:51:06actually send measurable impulses of
4:51:08nerve energy to the legs arms muscles
4:51:10and nerves
4:51:11that would control the muscles that we
4:51:13would use if we actually engaged in that
4:51:15action if you want to be a better golfer
4:51:17better skier better tennis player better
4:51:18baseball player swimmer better public
4:51:20speaker better anything you can use
4:51:23Sports affirmation technique to bring
4:51:24about rapid programming changes the key
4:51:27is this repetition visualization
4:51:31relaxation and Clarity of your goals
4:51:33over and over again until they are
4:51:36accepted by the subconscious mind as
4:51:38facts until they begin to become true
4:51:41in your reality and if you stick with it
4:51:43it will work for
4:51:55you session 13 rapid learning techniques
4:51:59at the beginning of this seminar we
4:52:00talked about human potential and about
4:52:02how the average person uses less than
4:52:0310% of their potential how Albert
4:52:06Einstein's brain was removed from his
4:52:08Cranium when he died and it was studied
4:52:10at Cornell University and they found
4:52:11that he never used more than 15% of his
4:52:14mental potential in his entire lifetime
4:52:16one of the great Geniuses of this
4:52:17Century what does this mean mental
4:52:19potential well it means the ability to
4:52:21use our thinking capacity it means the
4:52:24ability to activate the brain cells in
4:52:27what is called the neocortex or the
4:52:29thinking brain of mankind and one of the
4:52:32things we're going to talk about in this
4:52:34session is how you can use your brain
4:52:36more effectively and some of the things
4:52:37that have been done to help people
4:52:39develop and learn rapid learning
4:52:42techniques or what we call whole brain
4:52:43learning accelerated learning or even
4:52:46super learning one of the things that we
4:52:47know is that the average person really
4:52:50uses not much more than 1 or 2% of their
4:52:52thinking capacity that we don't use 10%
4:52:55because if you could use 10% of your
4:52:57brain you could accomplish anything you
4:52:58could Dream Of on this Earth our role in
4:53:01this session is to show you how to use
4:53:03more of it we know some things about the
4:53:05brain we know one thing with regard to
4:53:08intelligence is that intelligence is not
4:53:10a matter of IQ intelligence is a way of
4:53:13acting and a way of thinking when we
4:53:15look at people who are apparently
4:53:17extremely intelligent we find one thing
4:53:19we find that they are not much more
4:53:21intelligent than you or I but they have
4:53:23developed their intelligence so let's
4:53:25put it this way intelligence is
4:53:28developed through effort intelligence is
4:53:31developed the same way that muscles are
4:53:33developed a person who has an
4:53:36intelligence with regard to a business
4:53:38or a profession a lawyer or a doctor or
4:53:40a business bus person does not
4:53:42necessarily is not necessarily A person
4:53:43who was born with that genius it's a
4:53:45person who has developed it as a result
4:53:47of years and years of study and practice
4:53:50so look upon intelligence like a muscle
4:53:52IQ is malleable IQ or percentage points
4:53:56or mental ability is malleable over a
4:53:59broad range remember we talked about the
4:54:01case of positive expectations where one
4:54:04student's IQ jumped 25 points in the
4:54:08course of one school year this is very
4:54:10we've had many cases on record where IQ
4:54:12points in other words the total thinking
4:54:15ability of an individual has jumped 10
4:54:1620 30 points as a result of a particular
4:54:19way of learning or a particular way of
4:54:21studying and we'll talk about some of
4:54:22these ideas so IQ is malleable over a
4:54:25broad range what I'm saying is that you
4:54:27are far smarter than you know you are
4:54:29far more intelligent than you've ever
4:54:31given yourself credit for we also know
4:54:33that IQ is a matter of
4:54:36self-concept there are many people who
4:54:38have been found to be extremely
4:54:41intelligent but because they've been
4:54:43brought up in negative environments had
4:54:45been convinced at an early age that they
4:54:47weren't particularly bright one
4:54:49gentleman who was encouraged to leave
4:54:51school in the 10th grade because they
4:54:52felt he was a complete academic failure
4:54:55was turned out later to have an IQ of
4:54:58175 when he tried to enlist in the Army
4:55:01after he got out of the army he started
4:55:02six businesses and became a
4:55:03multi-millionaire by the age of 28
4:55:06because they proved to him that he was
4:55:07brilliant the reason he didn't pay
4:55:09attention in school was not because he
4:55:11didn't have the intelligence but because
4:55:13he learned everything the first time it
4:55:14was mentioned and he was totally bored
4:55:17you find that many people are far
4:55:20smarter than they realize because but as
4:55:22a result of previous experiences their
4:55:24self-concept has them functioning at
4:55:26levels far below their intelligence and
4:55:28that is true for you in almost every
4:55:30single case now another important point
4:55:33is learning ability is malleable
4:55:36learning ability is
4:55:38malleable what does that mean more
4:55:40malleable means it can be shaped it can
4:55:42be bent it's like a metal that can be
4:55:44bent and pounded learning ability is
4:55:47malleable in that you can learn to learn
4:55:51wonderful thing is human beings are
4:55:53learning creatures you can learn to
4:55:55learn whatever you want and the more you
4:55:58learn the more we have found the greater
4:55:59capacity you have to learn is that
4:56:01learning ability is like a muscle the
4:56:03more you stretch it the more you use it
4:56:05the greater its capacity becomes that
4:56:07the more you learn math the more capable
4:56:09you are of learning history the more you
4:56:11study philosophy the more capable you
4:56:12are of learning psychology that your
4:56:14capacity to learn expands as you learn
4:56:17any subject now there's another
4:56:19important Point too with regard to
4:56:20learning is that if you want to earn
4:56:22more you have to learn more if you want
4:56:25to earn more you have to learn more this
4:56:27is one of the most important simple trit
4:56:30little Expressions that you'll ever hear
4:56:32is that we live in a knowledge-based
4:56:33world and your external world of
4:56:35earnings will be a direct reflection of
4:56:38the amount of useful knowledge that you
4:56:39take in so if you're like me you're
4:56:42probably impatient and you probably
4:56:43would like to know how to learn more
4:56:45faster so that you can earn more faster
4:56:47and that's what we're going to talk
4:56:48about our third Point by the way is is a
4:56:51direct relationship between longevity
4:56:53and
4:56:54learning is that we find that the more
4:56:57active your mind is the longer you live
4:57:01that there whenever you see cases of
4:57:03people beginning to develop senility in
4:57:05their early 60s you see an example of a
4:57:08person who stopped reading a long time
4:57:10time ago and started watching a lot of
4:57:12Television senior citizens in America
4:57:14watch an average of 7 hours of
4:57:16Television per day and what it does is
4:57:19it makes their mind very very passive
4:57:21their brain begins to atrophy their
4:57:23reflexes their intelligence their
4:57:26ability to respond and to be alert to
4:57:27their environment begins to deteriorate
4:57:29the longer you learn the longer you
4:57:31study the more active you keep mentally
4:57:33the more energy you have the more
4:57:36Vitality the healthier you are in fact
4:57:39if you look at the lives of the great
4:57:41creative men and women like Guta began
4:57:43the composition of the second part of fa
4:57:46when he was 85 Grandma Moses started
4:57:48painting at the age of 75 and was still
4:57:50painting at the age of 100 Albert
4:57:52schwitzer whom I worked with in Africa
4:57:54was still working a full day at the age
4:57:56of 91 when most of the people if not all
4:57:58the people he had grown up with had been
4:58:00in their graves for decades so there's a
4:58:03there if if for no other reason then the
4:58:05fact that you want to live forever is
4:58:07you must become an active intelligent
4:58:09learner you must develop the capacity to
4:58:11learn you must learn how to learn now a
4:58:13few years ago back in the 50s in
4:58:15Bulgaria a man named giorgi lenov began
4:58:19some experiments that have had a
4:58:22tremendous Laz lenov had have had a
4:58:25tremendous influence on our thinking in
4:58:28the Western World in the last couple of
4:58:30decades uh a tremendous book has been
4:58:32written on his work called super
4:58:34learning talking about the results of
4:58:36his experiments and lozanov began
4:58:38studying the fact that information was
4:58:40exploding at such a rate that nobody
4:58:42could keep current on their field
4:58:44anymore that no matter what field you
4:58:46were in tens hundreds even thousands of
4:58:48Articles were being written every year
4:58:50that nobody could absorb the information
4:58:51so he became preoccupied with the need
4:58:55to create a way for people to learn more
4:58:58rapidly he called his system accelerated
4:59:00learning we call it rapid learning some
4:59:03people call it super learning it means
4:59:05the same thing it means how can you take
4:59:07in more information at a faster rate and
4:59:10what lzo found was this he began as a
4:59:13pioneer of whole brain research he found
4:59:16that there are really two hemispheres of
4:59:18the brain and the two hemispheres of the
4:59:20brain perform different functions and
4:59:22that people who learn the very best are
4:59:24capable of harmonizing and using both
4:59:26hemispheres of the brain if the left
4:59:29hemisphere is responsible for certain
4:59:31functions the right is responsible for
4:59:33certain functions he also found that
4:59:35there's a massive tissue that divides
4:59:37the brains called the corus colossum and
4:59:39that children children up to the age of
4:59:415 or six learn at about 25 times the
4:59:45adult rate and his thoughts were would
4:59:47it be possible to recreate the
4:59:49conditions that exist in early childhood
4:59:52that enable children to learn at a
4:59:53fantastic rate of speed in adult life
4:59:57and so he found that in looking at the
4:59:58functions of the brains he found that
5:00:00the left hemisphere and the right
5:00:01hemisphere were responsible for very
5:00:03different ways of thinking let me give
5:00:05you some examples for instance the left
5:00:06hemisphere is verbal it thinks in terms
5:00:09of words the right pict the the the
5:00:11right hemisphere is pictorial or
5:00:13artistic it thinks in terms of pictures
5:00:16the left hemisphere is um
5:00:21analytical whereas the right hemisphere
5:00:23is holistic it sees all the facts and
5:00:27information it it sees the big picture
5:00:29if you like the left hemisphere is
5:00:31pragmatic it's very matter of factual
5:00:34the right hemisphere is
5:00:36intuitive and is the seat of intuition
5:00:39and feelings uh the left hemisphere is
5:00:41concrete it likes to see things that it
5:00:43can count touch taste and feel the left
5:00:46the I'm sorry the left hemisphere the
5:00:47right hemisphere is
5:00:49abstract is it's responsible for
5:00:51abstract Concepts scientific Concepts
5:00:53artistic or philosophic concepts the
5:00:56left hemisphere is
5:00:58linear in that it sees things in an
5:01:01orderly row and it is also
5:01:04sequential and likes to take things one
5:01:07thing at a time the right hemisphere on
5:01:09the the other hand is
5:01:11musical and
5:01:14artistic if you like and uh spontaneous
5:01:18and is responsible for humor the left
5:01:21hemisphere is responsible for
5:01:23language the stringing together of words
5:01:26in logical order to make sentences it's
5:01:28also responsible for
5:01:30math the right hemisphere is responsible
5:01:33for
5:01:34dance and for
5:01:37poetry and these two hemispheres in
5:01:39order to work properly have to be
5:01:41harmonized but they have very very
5:01:43different functions and when as lozanov
5:01:45did his research he found another thing
5:01:48is that when he studied the way that
5:01:49people learned he found that people
5:01:51learned at different levels of brain
5:01:53wave activities and a as a result of
5:01:56different things for instance he found
5:01:57that the brain functions at four
5:01:59different levels and the first level is
5:02:01what is called the beta level the beta
5:02:04level is 14 Waves per second or above
5:02:07the beta level is normal waking this is
5:02:09is where you and I are whenever our mind
5:02:11is very active very intense our brain
5:02:14wave activity or what is called Cycles
5:02:16our brain wave activity is very frantic
5:02:18this is where most of us spend most of
5:02:20our time it's also the time where we
5:02:23learn the least efficiently he said he
5:02:26found that below beta was the alpha
5:02:29level the alpha level was 8 to 13 waves
5:02:32or cycles per second and this was a more
5:02:36if you like modulated wave level and he
5:02:38found that we have a tendency to learn
5:02:40in this stage this is the uh deep
5:02:42relaxation stage this is the stage that
5:02:44we're in when we're sitting deeply
5:02:46relaxed when we're daydreaming if you
5:02:47like or prior to going to sleep we drop
5:02:50into this level just below the alpha
5:02:52level is what is called the Theta level
5:02:54the Theta level is five to seven waves
5:02:56per second the Theta level has again
5:02:59bigger waves and this Theta level is
5:03:01where we just are ready starting to drop
5:03:04into dreaming it's called the uh the
5:03:06hallucinatory or illusionary area where
5:03:10we're starting to have dreams just
5:03:12before we fall asleep have you ever had
5:03:13the experience of being woken up just as
5:03:15you're falling asleep and being jerked
5:03:17out suddenly from this Theta level you
5:03:19weren't into Delta you weren't sound
5:03:21asleep and you notice how jarring it is
5:03:23but what Lozan found was the alpha Theta
5:03:26level this level in here is where we do
5:03:28our best learning and that when we are
5:03:31learning at this at this level our
5:03:34ability to learn is dramatically
5:03:35increased and just below Theta is Delta
5:03:38and Delta is 1/2 four Waves per second
5:03:42and these are long waves if you like now
5:03:45of course below half a wave per second
5:03:47you are no longer working as a matter of
5:03:49fact the cessation of brain wave
5:03:50activity on electroencephalogram is one
5:03:52of the clinical definitions of death now
5:03:55what was La of tried to do was he said
5:03:57would it be possible to bring people
5:04:00down from beta where they're awake into
5:04:03this Alpha Theta level and somehow
5:04:06activate the right and the left brains
5:04:08so that they work s simultaneously and
5:04:10he came up with a method using music
5:04:13using music and
5:04:17relaxation and he began his experiments
5:04:20back in
5:04:221965 66 in Bulgaria one of the most
5:04:25interesting experiments he started off
5:04:27with language and the language he choose
5:04:29was the language of French now if you
5:04:32were to take a French course at your
5:04:33local University as an adult you would
5:04:36be expected in a 3-hour period and 3
5:04:38hours seems to be the ideal study period
5:04:40for a language you'd be expected in 3
5:04:43hours to learn approximately 25 to 40
5:04:48words and you'd be expected to have a
5:04:51retention level up until the final exam
5:04:54with due study and so on of about 80% uh
5:04:58and maybe less as a matter of fact what
5:05:00lazan found he said that most of the
5:05:02ways that we learn in our society are so
5:05:04inefficient as to be deplorable in that
5:05:06the average person who gets a University
5:05:08degree in our society after 4 years and
5:05:10$25 to $50,000 of expenses forgets 80 to
5:05:1490% of everything they learned at the
5:05:17University before the summer after the
5:05:20university the final year is over as a
5:05:22matter of fact as much as 80% is lost in
5:05:24the first 30 days it was been postulated
5:05:27by a couple of University professors if
5:05:29you want to clear out most of the
5:05:30universities in the country very simple
5:05:32very simple way to do it is call
5:05:34everybody back 48 hours after final
5:05:38exams to rewrite without notice and you
5:05:40would find that the traditional way of
5:05:42learning which is to cram the brain with
5:05:44as much information as possible and to
5:05:46rush into the exam room and regurgitate
5:05:48the information onto the exam and then
5:05:51go back and recover and do it over again
5:05:53this way of learning is so inefficient
5:05:55that almost all the information we take
5:05:57in that way is lost completely that's
5:05:59why if you took a language course in
5:06:00school and then you ever went to one of
5:06:02the countries where you uh where they
5:06:05spoke the language you found that you
5:06:06probably couldn't remember more than
5:06:08three or four words and even those you
5:06:09had wrong well so lozanov decided to use
5:06:12music and relaxation and this is what he
5:06:14did under very closely controlled
5:06:16conditions he brought in uh 60 students
5:06:19these 60 students were drawn from a
5:06:20variety of occupations none of them had
5:06:23any knowledge of French at all they were
5:06:25very closely monitored and screened by
5:06:27uh people who were not favorable toward
5:06:30this experiment so it's very R
5:06:32rigorously controlled in 1966 he brought
5:06:35in these 60 people and his he felt that
5:06:38he would have to greatly in increase the
5:06:40average level of learning in order to
5:06:42get approval for the establishment of
5:06:44his Institute of
5:06:46sesty uh The Institute of sesty and
5:06:48suggestopedia was was subsequently set
5:06:51up in Sophia Bulgaria what he found what
5:06:53he did is he took these people and we
5:06:55had 60 people and his goal was to get
5:06:57them to 150
5:06:59words per session 100 to 150 words per
5:07:02session with higher levels of
5:07:04retention what they did is they bought
5:07:06them in they played gentle relaxing
5:07:09music they turned down the lights and
5:07:12they read them the words on cards with
5:07:14the French on one side the Bulgarian on
5:07:16the other and as they read them the
5:07:18words the students repeated the words in
5:07:20a deeply relaxed State and they brought
5:07:22them up to a state of full
5:07:24awareness and reviewed the words and
5:07:26then tested them on it they found from
5:07:28the very beginning three sessions first
5:07:30of all review in aware State second of
5:07:32all listening to the words in deep
5:07:34relaxation third of all review in an
5:07:36aware State again they found that from
5:07:38the very first session they were getting
5:07:4098% retention in that in testing at the
5:07:44end of each session they were
5:07:45remembering 98% of what they learned
5:07:47they conducted this experiment for 6
5:07:48weeks and every single student in the
5:07:50class got up to a 98% retention rate
5:07:53with no experience in the language at
5:07:54all now before they disbanded this
5:07:56experiment in ' 66 he called for
5:07:58volunteers and got 15 more 15 of 15 of
5:08:01these students volunteered and they said
5:08:03what it be possible to learn 500 words
5:08:06in one day well they came in on a
5:08:08Saturday they worked all day cuz nobody
5:08:12in recorded history had ever learned 500
5:08:14words in a day and at the end of the day
5:08:16they tested out at 98% retention on 500
5:08:19words now an interesting point is that
5:08:21many of these people were suffering
5:08:23nervous disorders as a matter of fact uh
5:08:2540% of them were drawn from the
5:08:27registers of psychologists and
5:08:28psychiatrists and after this six week
5:08:31learning period learning 150 words a day
5:08:33almost every one of them was completely
5:08:35better that there was no stress in this
5:08:37type of learning that it was very very
5:08:39Rel relaxing that they found that it
5:08:40cleared their minds and they felt
5:08:42wonderful afterwards as opposed to our
5:08:44current way of learning which is so
5:08:45stressful and so tension so so tense and
5:08:47so competitive they found that after
5:08:49this 500 words at the end of the day
5:08:52everybody felt great there was no stress
5:08:54no fatigue nothing Well he said let's
5:08:56see if we it's possible to increase this
5:08:58before we disband the experiment and he
5:09:00called back 12 of the students the best
5:09:03Learners uh two weeks later they got
5:09:05together to see if they could learn a
5:09:07thousand words in one day a th brand new
5:09:10words in one day the sum the result of
5:09:13it was that at the end of the day they
5:09:15were able to learn the thousand words
5:09:17and test out at 98% interesting later on
5:09:20about 6 months later they brought these
5:09:22students all back to see how much of the
5:09:24language they had retained with no
5:09:26opportunity to read in it no opportunity
5:09:28to speak it they found that they tested
5:09:31out at
5:09:3269% recall without any review and with
5:09:35one review the entire class was back up
5:09:37to 98% in other words
5:09:40this method of music with deep
5:09:41relaxation dropping into Alpha Theta and
5:09:44activating both brains had led to a
5:09:46dramatic increase in learning ability
5:09:48now in
5:09:511974 lozanov under controlled experiment
5:09:54got the rate up to 18800 words in one
5:09:57day with 98% retention in 1979 in a
5:10:01special experiment with selected
5:10:04students lozanov got the rate up to
5:10:073,000 words in one one day in other
5:10:10words by activating the brain and with
5:10:12still 98% retention now this is a
5:10:15phenomenal thing it's almost an it's
5:10:17almost an unheard of thing to to believe
5:10:19but what lozanov has found is that the
5:10:21learning capacity of the brain is
5:10:24infinite that the capacity of your brain
5:10:27to learn and to take in information for
5:10:30example if you speak English well you
5:10:34probably speak and use about 1,200 to
5:10:382,000 words in the course of your
5:10:39day-to-day life all you need is 2,000
5:10:42words to be functionally fluent in any
5:10:44language the average English-speaking
5:10:46person uses less than 1200 words as a
5:10:49matter of fact some people uh and
5:10:51especially as you go down the
5:10:52educational ladder use sometimes less
5:10:54than 500 words in their entire language
5:10:56but 2,000 words will enable you to read
5:10:58any newspaper any magazine watch any
5:11:00program radio television except
5:11:02something of a technical nature what
5:11:04lozanov proved was it's possible for a
5:11:06person to learn one language per day
5:11:10permanently now this learning technology
5:11:13is beginning to change the way that we
5:11:14learn it's beginning to revolutionize
5:11:17all of our understandings about language
5:11:19lozanov has also developed many other
5:11:21techniques and understandings he found
5:11:22that gentle classical music is a
5:11:26critical part of this learning that
5:11:27Baroque music with 60 beat Baroque that
5:11:30slows down the heart rate and slows down
5:11:32the brain wave activity rate so that the
5:11:34body and the mind get into sync with the
5:11:36music and the incoming information is
5:11:39critical that you can learn technical
5:11:41subjects you can learn medicine
5:11:42philosophy psychology I have taken
5:11:44extended courses now in accelerated or
5:11:46optimal learning to learn these
5:11:48methodologies and what I have found is
5:11:50that you can learn even without any of
5:11:52the science or technology you can learn
5:11:54things very very rapidly if you'll do
5:11:56two or three things here are the keys to
5:11:59speeding up the way that you learn
5:12:01number one is Define what it is you want
5:12:05to learn and need to learn in order to
5:12:07be more successful and more effective
5:12:09you cannot learn something that you're
5:12:10not interested in you cannot learn
5:12:12something that does not hold your
5:12:13attention you cannot learn something
5:12:14that is boring so make sure that what
5:12:16you're studying is important to you so
5:12:18number one is to Define it and when you
5:12:20begin to study Define your purpose why
5:12:23are you learning this subject think it
5:12:25through read it through study it and
5:12:27only study things with an aim in mind
5:12:30remember you have to have a goal number
5:12:32two is you must have an intense desire
5:12:35to learn you must have a desire in other
5:12:38words you cannot learn because somebody
5:12:39else wants you to learn number three is
5:12:41always study when you can with classical
5:12:45music gentle classical music with no
5:12:47words gentle classical music of any kind
5:12:50especially music from The Classical
5:12:52period of Mozart Bach brumms dorek
5:12:56Beethoven uh and um uh uh Stravinsky for
5:13:00instance these these music these these
5:13:03composers have a classical 60 beat
5:13:06Baroque BackBeat within their music and
5:13:08if if you play with classical music or
5:13:11even environmental sounds like the
5:13:12sounds of waves or the oceans white
5:13:14music as it's called you have that in
5:13:16the background it relaxes the brain it
5:13:18opens the left and the right Hemisphere
5:13:20and it allows information to come
5:13:23in through the left brain and be
5:13:27internalized into the right brain where
5:13:29it is stored in the seat of memory so
5:13:31what you want to do is through music you
5:13:33want to relax the corpus callosum relax
5:13:36the brain so that information can flow
5:13:37in through the left brain
5:13:39and into the right a fourth key point is
5:13:42space
5:13:48repetition space repetition is important
5:13:50now some people say why is it or how is
5:13:52it that I can give a seminar like this
5:13:54all day without notes and I sometimes do
5:13:56day after day after day of seminars
5:13:57without notes I must have a great memory
5:13:59I don't have a great memory I just study
5:14:01all the time and I use space repetition
5:14:03and I review it over and over again
5:14:05there's another thing too by the way is
5:14:07that the more you learn the more you
5:14:08learn when you start to study remember
5:14:11that it takes practice to learn how to
5:14:12learn it takes practice practice
5:14:16practice is that the more you practice
5:14:18learning how to learn the more likely it
5:14:20is that you'll learn the first few days
5:14:22when you're studying a new subject
5:14:23you'll find it takes tremendous effort
5:14:25now here's another important point and
5:14:27that is
5:14:28variety variety of stimulation is
5:14:31critical the number of different ways
5:14:34that you stimulate your mind different
5:14:36books different magazines plays
5:14:38different different exposures to
5:14:40different conversations different
5:14:41subjects and so on if you bombard your
5:14:43mind continuously with stimuli that
5:14:46challenges your mind you will find that
5:14:48you'll develop the capacity to learn and
5:14:50remember more and number seven is
5:14:52remember this it's called attention span
5:14:55is the time when you learn the most is
5:14:57at the beginning of a period of study
5:15:00and at the end of a period of study what
5:15:02does this tell you it tells you that
5:15:04instead of studying or reading for a
5:15:06long period of time like this say two or
5:15:08two or 3 hours what you do is break it
5:15:10up and take several breaks so that you
5:15:13have a series of breaks and you'll
5:15:14always remember what you learn at the
5:15:16beginning of the break at the beginning
5:15:18of the period at the end of the period
5:15:19the beginning and end so the more breaks
5:15:21that you can take the more variety that
5:15:23you can put into your studying the
5:15:25faster you'll learn the key to remember
5:15:27this is that everything that you are or
5:15:29ever will become is going to be as a
5:15:31result of the information you take into
5:15:33your mind the Practical usable
5:15:35information that you can take and use to
5:15:38bring about something some kind of
5:15:39improvement in the world around you if
5:15:41you want to earn more you have to learn
5:15:43more if you want to be happier you have
5:15:44to learn more if you want to realize
5:15:46your full potential as a human being you
5:15:47have to learn more which means read
5:15:50study and learn how to learn and if
5:15:53you'll do that you'll be amazed at how
5:15:55much of your mental potential you can
5:15:56release
5:16:11session 14 Progressive relaxation with
5:16:14music the work of Georgie lozanov in
5:16:17establishing The Sciences of suggest Loy
5:16:19and suggestopedia which is the
5:16:21application of the power of suggestion
5:16:23to the process of learning also have
5:16:26applications with regard to you and I in
5:16:28terms of reprogramming our subconscious
5:16:30mind you see if we can learn a subject
5:16:32like French or English if we can learn
5:16:34history or mathematics if we can learn
5:16:36something very very fast as a result of
5:16:38deep relax ation with music in a
5:16:40systematic organized process can't we
5:16:44also learn new belief systems can't we
5:16:47also learn new ideas Concepts
5:16:49characteristics qualities can we develop
5:16:51confidence Courage the ability to earn
5:16:53more money the ability to be better
5:16:55parents better bosses and so on using
5:16:58the same techniques yes we can now over
5:17:03the years and over the centuries over
5:17:04all the course of mankind great Mystics
5:17:07great leaders great religious teachers
5:17:10great philosophers and thinkers have
5:17:12found that by relaxing deeply even
5:17:16without music just relaxing deeply and
5:17:18meditating or dwelling on particular
5:17:21thoughts or ideas whether it's a quality
5:17:23or a mantra or something else deep
5:17:26relaxation and meditation on a
5:17:28particular thought enables us to
5:17:31internalize the thought let me talk
5:17:33about this for a second the key is deep
5:17:36relaxation remember we talked about the
5:17:38law
5:17:39of relaxation that says the harder that
5:17:41you don't try the better it works in all
5:17:44mental working effort defeats itself
5:17:47therefore whenever you present new
5:17:48information to your mind in a state of
5:17:50deep relaxation it is accepted far more
5:17:54rapidly if you want to become a positive
5:17:56outgoing enthusiastic wealthy
5:17:58influential successful human being you
5:18:01must change your mental programming so
5:18:03that your internal programming your
5:18:04beliefs your self-concept your essential
5:18:08fundamental convictions are consistent
5:18:10with what you wish to experience in the
5:18:12outside and deep relaxation is the key
5:18:15that relaxation is the key to the Vault
5:18:18of riches that relaxation is what
5:18:21unlocks your TAP potential and most of
5:18:24our modern times have been spent on
5:18:27finding ways to do things harder to
5:18:29force things to drive things but we're
5:18:31finding more and more as we study the
5:18:33history of man and the Eastern religions
5:18:36and the research that's been done in
5:18:37this field that deep relaxation is the
5:18:39key even Harvard University has done
5:18:41experiments on relaxation and found that
5:18:43even one process of deep relaxation
5:18:46changes brain wave activity over that of
5:18:49people who don't now there's several
5:18:50ways one is meditation well what is
5:18:53meditation meditation is simply closing
5:18:56your eyes taking a deep breath dropping
5:18:58into Alpha it's as simple as that as you
5:19:01take a deep breath and close your eyes
5:19:02you drop into Alpha and your brain wave
5:19:04activity from here just goes here when
5:19:07you sit on a park bench and and daydream
5:19:09you're in a form of meditation with your
5:19:11eyes closed meditation is very very
5:19:14healthy restful very refreshing and many
5:19:17people have gotten into what is called
5:19:19Transcendental Meditation which is
5:19:21really a systematization of the process
5:19:23of meditation where you take a mantra
5:19:25and you sit down close your eyes relax
5:19:28and you repeat the Mantra now what is a
5:19:30mantra a mantra is merely a meaningless
5:19:32word uh Dr Herbert Benson at the uh
5:19:36Harvard University found that if you
5:19:37just repeat the word once
5:19:39over and over again that'll be good
5:19:41enough in terms of closing your eyes
5:19:44repeating the word one each time you
5:19:46exhale you'll drop into a state of
5:19:48meditation in a matter of a few seconds
5:19:50even if you've never done it before now
5:19:52meditation is very healthy what does it
5:19:53do it relaxes the whole body it relaxes
5:19:56the mind it integrates the personality
5:19:59it causes you to feel more calm and more
5:20:01assured it lowers your flash point in
5:20:04that it causes you to be more self
5:20:06assured and less likely to get angry to
5:20:08get
5:20:09uh it causes you to sleep better at
5:20:10night causes you to digest better it
5:20:12causes you to achieve your goals better
5:20:13and so on so meditation or deep
5:20:15relaxation is an essential part of you
5:20:17achieving your potential sometimes
5:20:19people say I don't have the time to do
5:20:20this whenever you don't have the time
5:20:22that's the time when you have to do it
5:20:23the most anything that takes you into a
5:20:25state of deep relaxation brings you down
5:20:28to the point where your mind can
5:20:31function in the levels of Alpha and can
5:20:33integrate your personality there's a
5:20:35whole science called the science of
5:20:37psychosynthesis
5:20:39that says that meditation on any
5:20:42subject actually synthesizes and
5:20:44integrates and brings together the Mind
5:20:46well what lozanov also found that if you
5:20:48combined relaxation with music and this
5:20:50is the second part you can accelerate
5:20:53the process that when you play gentle
5:20:55music when you are in a state of deep
5:20:57relaxation you actually go deeper into
5:21:00relaxation your mind relaxes even deeper
5:21:02and as a result you function better and
5:21:04if you combinate if you combine
5:21:06relaxation plus music plus informational
5:21:10input or the input of words or ideas
5:21:14that you can learn at an accelerated
5:21:16rate you can bring about rapid and
5:21:18permanent behavioral changes on the
5:21:20market today there's a a great number of
5:21:22subliminal tapes where they play Words
5:21:26hidden beneath the sounds of music or
5:21:28ocean waves or something like that now
5:21:30there's a tremendous amount of research
5:21:31that shows that subliminal tapes work
5:21:33many of the subliminal tapes that are
5:21:35sold are not based on that research
5:21:37they're based on on other principles and
5:21:39I suggest you look at it very carefully
5:21:41before you buy them because some of them
5:21:43are are completely useless overpriced
5:21:45and useless some of them are are
5:21:47excellent but Music Plus informational
5:21:49input causes the conscious mind which is
5:21:51the mind that says wait a second I'm not
5:21:53taking in that information causes the
5:21:55conscious mind the guard at the door of
5:21:56the subconscious it causes it to relax
5:21:59and fall asleep and when the subc
5:22:01conscious mind falls asleep the words
5:22:03with the music combined flow straight
5:22:05into the subconscious mind change and
5:22:07revise all previous programming and
5:22:10bring about permanent behavioral change
5:22:12we call this the process of taped
5:22:14affirmation which I'm going to explain
5:22:16in a second but let me give you just a
5:22:18brief explanation with regard to musac
5:22:20there are many systems now that have
5:22:22been developed musac systems which play
5:22:24sort of neutral music as background
5:22:27music in offices warehouses and stores
5:22:29in a Montreal experiment in a Dominion
5:22:32uh stores experiment some years ago they
5:22:35took and they took and they put un under
5:22:37the mus system a series of messages that
5:22:40said do not shoplift shoplifting is bad
5:22:43if you shoplift you'll be caught and
5:22:45you'll be prosecuted if you shoplift
5:22:47when you're prosecuted you get a
5:22:49criminal record so shoplifting is
5:22:50something that you shouldn't do and they
5:22:51repeated these messages over and over
5:22:53again but they were inaudible to the
5:22:55human ear the only thing that Shoppers
5:22:57could hear was music now this was a
5:22:59store that was in an area where there
5:23:01was a lot of shoplifting they found that
5:23:04they played this for a period of 2
5:23:07months for 2 months they played this
5:23:10message under the musac system and in
5:23:12two months the level of shoplifting
5:23:14dropped 50% in that
5:23:16store they left it on for two months and
5:23:20it stayed at that level and then they
5:23:22put back the regular music over the
5:23:25course of the next two
5:23:27months the level of shoplifting went
5:23:30right back up to normal they now using
5:23:33this same process by the way where they
5:23:35will put musac their sales messages for
5:23:37instance the sales organizer ation they
5:23:39will put a whole series of messages
5:23:40behind the mus ACC they'll tell
5:23:41everybody that they're there because
5:23:43they'll say you love to sell you a great
5:23:45salesperson you love this product you
5:23:47eagerly make calls you are a good closer
5:23:49you're a good prospector you manage your
5:23:51time well a whole series of messages
5:23:53like that which will be played behind
5:23:55the musac system and they will find that
5:23:57sales will go up 10 20 30 40 50% in some
5:24:01Warehouse operations they have systems
5:24:03where they'll have a musac system that
5:24:05says do not steal from your employer do
5:24:07not pill for from the warehouse and so
5:24:09on they'll find that theft and pilage
5:24:11will drop 20 30 40% in a matter of a
5:24:13very short period of time now this
5:24:15brings us to what we call taped
5:24:16affirmation which is Progressive
5:24:18relaxation with music taped airation is
5:24:21absolutely wonderful taped affirmation
5:24:23is a way of putting your goals onto a
5:24:26tape with music and playing them over
5:24:29and over to yourself in a relaxed state
5:24:31so that they bypass the conscious mind
5:24:33drop into the subconscious and begin to
5:24:35come true in your reality I began using
5:24:37taped a several years ago I'm I have now
5:24:41thousands of graduates who use taped
5:24:42affirmation I'll just tell you this is
5:24:44that every single goal I have ever put
5:24:46on a musical tape and played to myself
5:24:48over and over again has materialized in
5:24:50my reality every single one of them has
5:24:52come true and some of them in a
5:24:53surprisingly short period of time this
5:24:55is one of the most astonishing
5:24:57discoveries like taped learning is one
5:24:59of the most astonishing discoveries in
5:25:00education taped affirmation is one of
5:25:02the most astonishing discoveries in the
5:25:05whole process of goal setting and goal
5:25:07achieving you can can change your
5:25:08personality achieve goals increase your
5:25:11income lose weight quit smoking you can
5:25:13do remarkable things with your life and
5:25:15you can do it rapidly and permanently
5:25:17using this method now here's some of the
5:25:19keys to taped affirmation that you
5:25:21should understand number one is a form
5:25:23of progressive relaxation with music
5:25:25Progressive relaxation is a method of
5:25:28going through the body with words and
5:25:30relaxing each muscle group so when you
5:25:33play the tape you'll hear a voice that
5:25:34will count you down and be more and more
5:25:36relaxed and each part of your body
5:25:38relaxes deeper and deeper and deeper and
5:25:41you get more and more and more deeply
5:25:45relaxed you'll find that all the tension
5:25:47is Led out of your whole body as your
5:25:49body completely relaxes you'll find your
5:25:51conscious mind relaxes and you drop into
5:25:53Alpha now a second is that this is a
5:25:55form of what is called heterogenic
5:25:57conditioning now heterogenic
5:25:59conditioning is means hetero means other
5:26:02and genic means mind so in this we use
5:26:05the word you it's a conditioning process
5:26:07so that when you listen to the tape it
5:26:09always says you you like yourself very
5:26:13much you really like yourself or you
5:26:15accept complete responsibility for your
5:26:18life it uses affirmations that are very
5:26:21simple and clear positive present tense
5:26:24but they in the U case why it's because
5:26:27whenever we listen to another voice even
5:26:29if you make your own tape with your own
5:26:30voice you always use youu whenever we
5:26:33take in information with from another
5:26:34voice we are accustomed from infancy to
5:26:37our parents or someone else saying you
5:26:39now there are some people who say that
5:26:41you're supposed to to put on the tape
5:26:43the words I earn or I weigh or I like
5:26:47myself but whenever we listen to
5:26:48somebody else talking about thems it
5:26:50makes no impression on our subconscious
5:26:53so when you make a tape that you listen
5:26:54to It's always you taking the message in
5:26:58when you speak to yourself it's always I
5:27:01I am I can I do a third point is that
5:27:05this is
5:27:06healthy this is
5:27:10relaxing and this is refreshing you will
5:27:13find that if you play this tape which is
5:27:15about 20 minutes and we're going to give
5:27:16you this tape in a little while uh if
5:27:18you play this tape when you come home in
5:27:21the evening if you play it in the middle
5:27:22of the day it's better than a nap it's
5:27:24better than taking a sleep it's better
5:27:26than a steam bath because it will relax
5:27:28you it will refresh you and you'll feel
5:27:30healthy and even if it does nothing else
5:27:33it makes you feel great our third or
5:27:35fourth requirement is that you do it
5:27:37twice daily I Optimum is to do it twice
5:27:40daily morning and
5:27:42evening and do it on an empty stomach
5:27:45the very best time to play this tape is
5:27:47in the morning before you have breakfast
5:27:49and the evening after you come home but
5:27:51before you have dinner if you can only
5:27:52do it once a day do it in the evening
5:27:54it's better than a drink it's better
5:27:56than a Valium it's better than a Librium
5:27:58it will refresh you pick you up smooth
5:28:00your personality make you feel just
5:28:02great about yourself so do it twice
5:28:04daily number five is that we use
5:28:07relaxing gentle music now you can use
5:28:10almost any music you like the slower the
5:28:12more relaxing the more classical music
5:28:15that you use you can use Baroque you can
5:28:17use the sound of the ocean you can use
5:28:20gentle classical music from any piece
5:28:22that you like uh but relaxing gentle
5:28:24music in the background is what causes
5:28:27the mind to relax and relax and relax
5:28:30you can use flute music you can use
5:28:32guitar you can use violin you can use
5:28:34anything that is relaxing to cause you
5:28:36to calm and settle down but not music or
5:28:39anything that has words to it now
5:28:41another characteristic of this is that
5:28:45uh the position that you
5:28:47use we call this assuming the position
5:28:50is to sit
5:28:53erect
5:28:55relaxed
5:28:56relaxed eyes
5:28:58closed we call this assuming the
5:29:01position and basically the position is
5:29:04you sit in a chair you sit completely
5:29:06erect you put your hands on your lap not
5:29:09touching close your eyes take a deep
5:29:12breath and just listen to the tape the
5:29:15tape is complete all you have to do is
5:29:17put it on and it will count you down
5:29:19into a state of deep relaxation very
5:29:21much like this into a state of deep
5:29:23relaxation while you're in that state of
5:29:25relaxation it will play a series of 10
5:29:27affirmations five each and at the end of
5:29:30the 10 affirmations it will then count
5:29:32you back out to a state of full
5:29:34awareness the entire process takes 21
5:29:37minutes max
5:29:38maximum very simple it's completely
5:29:41harmless you don't have to worry about
5:29:42it now it's very important with regard
5:29:44to this position that you be sitting
5:29:46erect some people say well can I do it
5:29:47before I go to sleep but what happens if
5:29:49you try to do it in bed or laying down
5:29:52is one of two things either you'll fall
5:29:53asleep and when you fall asleep the
5:29:55message stops going into the
5:29:56subconscious mind or number two is
5:29:59you'll become so relaxed and refreshed
5:30:01that you'll wake up and you'll be unable
5:30:03to sleep the best time to do this is not
5:30:05before you go to bed unless of course
5:30:06you're having difficulty sleeping we've
5:30:08had many people who've been going
5:30:09through stressful periods in their life
5:30:11who have found that by playing this
5:30:13sometimes five six seven times a day
5:30:16they've been able to completely calm
5:30:17down get over their insomnia and sleep
5:30:20deeply for the first time so number
5:30:22seven is do it with no interruptions go
5:30:25somewhere where you can play it with
5:30:27where there's no
5:30:28interruptions if you're near near a
5:30:30telephone disconnect the phone or go
5:30:31away from the phone there's nothing
5:30:33worse than playing this tape and having
5:30:35a telephone go off in the middle or
5:30:37having somebody walk skin on you
5:30:39sometimes people say well can I play it
5:30:40in my car I say yes you can play it in
5:30:42your car as long as you drive your car
5:30:44with your eyes closed people say well
5:30:46can I do it when I'm jogging yes if you
5:30:48jog with your eyes closed because if
5:30:50your eyes are open this is critical if
5:30:52your eyes are open your your eyes are
5:30:55bombarded with so much stimulation that
5:30:57you do not drop into Alpha so it's
5:31:00important for to remember that remember
5:31:02no interruptions do it twice a day do it
5:31:04on an empty stomach don't do it after
5:31:06drinking anything don't do it after
5:31:08eating anything and uh don't do it after
5:31:10smoking anything stronger than a
5:31:13cigarette now what will happen as a
5:31:15result of this this process takes just
5:31:17two things it takes discipline which is
5:31:20what most people lack which is what most
5:31:22why most people fail and it takes
5:31:24repetition it's very
5:31:26simple
5:31:30repetition what will happen well the
5:31:33first time that you use this you will
5:31:35notice a deep relaxation as a matter of
5:31:36fact many people have said they've relax
5:31:38more deeply with this tape than with any
5:31:40other process they ever tried and these
5:31:41are people who've tried meditation and
5:31:43tried a lot of other things second of
5:31:45all you will find that in a very short
5:31:47period of time about two or 3 days you
5:31:48will find yourself feeling far calmer
5:31:51you feel far more relaxed you feel sort
5:31:53of good about yourself and you find that
5:31:55your flash point your levels of tension
5:31:57have dropped within a week the people
5:32:00around you will know the difference
5:32:01they'll say you're doing something
5:32:02different within a month people who only
5:32:05know you marginally will notice that
5:32:07there is a difference in your
5:32:08personality a good friend of mine who's
5:32:10a psychologist pointed out to me that
5:32:12the way that he first noticed the effect
5:32:14of this tape was that he used to get
5:32:16very very tense in traffic he'd be
5:32:18driving along in traffic and somebody
5:32:19would cut him off or he'd be uh stuck in
5:32:22traffic he' get very very angry what he
5:32:23would do is he found when he played the
5:32:26tape is he didn't get tense anymore he
5:32:28would just relax and uh found that he
5:32:32might get angry but he' be only angry
5:32:33for a few seconds and he'd be calm again
5:32:35so it's very very healthy by the way you
5:32:37can cannot play this tape and be a
5:32:39stressful type of person now how many
5:32:41goals can you work on well you make your
5:32:42own tape and you can work on 10 to 15
5:32:44goals on your tape when you write out
5:32:47the goals what you do is you repeat at
5:32:51the beginning of each goal which is a
5:32:52positive present tense affirmation you
5:32:54repeat yes I agree or yes that's
5:33:01true what this does is it reinforces the
5:33:04affirmation and drives it deeper into
5:33:05the subconscious for instance you're
5:33:07listening to tape You Close Your Eyes
5:33:08the tape says you like yourself
5:33:10unconditionally you really like yourself
5:33:12and you say yes that's true yes I agree
5:33:15So when you say that to your mind you're
5:33:16acknowledging to your subconscious that
5:33:19this is a true statement remember in
5:33:21affirmations the most powerful effect on
5:33:23your subconscious is what you say to
5:33:25yourself and believe if a person were to
5:33:28say say to you you sure look good today
5:33:30and you say yes I do notice how much
5:33:32better you would feel about that than if
5:33:34you say ah no I don't I I look a little
5:33:36bit ragged so always agree and accept it
5:33:39repeat it the uh number
5:33:4211 important point on this is to do it
5:33:45over and over again until it becomes a
5:33:47habit put your own
5:33:49affirmations take your own affirmations
5:33:53with regard to your goals take your for
5:33:55instance if you want to lose weight put
5:33:57your ideal weight on there if you want
5:33:58to increase your income put your ideal
5:34:00income on there if you want to change
5:34:02your temperament put your temper if you
5:34:04want to be a better time manager put
5:34:06better time management if you want to be
5:34:07more creative then put creativity on
5:34:09there do you want to have more energy
5:34:12then put energy on there do you want to
5:34:13sleep at night then put sleep at night
5:34:15on there anything that you desire in
5:34:18life you can you can accomplish using
5:34:21this method and using the instructions
5:34:22that we've given you if you want to make
5:34:24your own tape it's very simple pick a
5:34:26piece of relaxing music play it on your
5:34:28record player put a cassette on a
5:34:31separate cassette rep recorder and with
5:34:34the music in the background read the
5:34:36script onto the Cass set program and
5:34:39then read your own affirmations and
5:34:40repeat each of them five times if you'll
5:34:43do that and then read the whole script
5:34:44then you have your own tape and as you
5:34:46achieve your goals what you can do is
5:34:47make a new tape and make a du tape the
5:34:49tape that we Supply you with this
5:34:51program is good enough to last you for a
5:34:52long time because it's been developed
5:34:54over years of experimenting with other
5:34:56people and we find that the 10 goals on
5:34:58this tape are the 10 most important if
5:35:01you use this method of taped affirmation
5:35:03in a very short period of time you'll
5:35:05notice changes in your life changes in
5:35:07your results changes in your health
5:35:09changes in your temperament changes in
5:35:11your personality and I repeat what I
5:35:13said before I have never set a goal on
5:35:16taped affirmation that I have not
5:35:18accomplished exactly at the right time
5:35:20exactly in the right way and it will
5:35:22work for you as it has worked for me
5:35:25good luck
5:35:41[Music]
5:35:46Brian Tracy
5:35:50present
5:35:52[Music]
5:36:01Phoenix session 15 five keys to goal
5:36:04setting we started this seminar asking
5:36:07the question why is it that some people
5:36:09are more successful than others and a
5:36:11friend of mine who's been working in
5:36:12this industry for many years told me a
5:36:13story that I think you'll enjoy and
5:36:15which I found very relevant he said that
5:36:17he invited as the Deacon of his church
5:36:20he invited a Jewish gentleman to come to
5:36:22his church Christian church and speak to
5:36:25the congregation on comparative religion
5:36:27how the Jewish religion compared with
5:36:29the Christian religion well the Jewish
5:36:30gentleman came after several weeks and
5:36:32he stood up and he began his talk and he
5:36:34said ladies and gentlemen he said I've
5:36:35examined your books and I've examined
5:36:37our books he said I've examined your
5:36:38basic teachings and I've examined our
5:36:40basic teachings and I've come to this
5:36:42conclusion he
5:36:44said the Bible and the talmud and all of
5:36:47our books say that the two great rules
5:36:50of Life are to love God and to love your
5:36:53neighbor as yourself he said ladies and
5:36:55gentlemen all else is
5:36:58commentary all else is commentary he
5:37:01said we've been working in the field of
5:37:03success for 25 years and we sat down
5:37:04around the table not too long ago and we
5:37:06said what is SU success what are the
5:37:08determinants of success and the
5:37:10unanimous conclusion was simply this
5:37:13ladies and gentlemen success is goals
5:37:16and all else is commentary success is
5:37:19goals and all else is commentary and I
5:37:23don't think there's anything that you'll
5:37:25ever learn that is truer than that
5:37:26during the course of this seminar we've
5:37:28talked about many different laws The Law
5:37:29of Attraction law of Correspondence law
5:37:31of belief expectation and so on but you
5:37:33find that the only way to utilize all of
5:37:36those laws or the easiest way to utilize
5:37:38all of those laws is just to Simply set
5:37:40a goal when you set a goal what do you
5:37:42believe in a goal what do you expect to
5:37:44happen a goal what do you attract into
5:37:46your life people and circumstances in
5:37:48harmony with your goal uh What uh does
5:37:50the law of Correspondence affect your
5:37:52outer world will harmonize with your
5:37:54inner world with your goal what do you
5:37:56concentrate on your goal what do you
5:37:57plan in your subconscious your goal what
5:37:58do you use for the law of substitution a
5:38:01goal a goal makes it possible for you to
5:38:05bring to bear all the laws of the
5:38:07Universe to help to make you successful
5:38:10without even thinking about any of the
5:38:12laws that's why in every single study of
5:38:14successful men and women you find
5:38:16intense goal orientation and yet even
5:38:19knowing that even knowing that success
5:38:21is dependent upon goals crucial uh
5:38:24crucially dependent upon goals we find
5:38:26that less than 5% of the population have
5:38:29goals at all I once wrote a paper or
5:38:33article for a newspaper and the quote
5:38:36they pulled out of the newspaper was
5:38:38those who do not have goals are
5:38:39condemned forever to work for those who
5:38:41do if you don't have goals for your life
5:38:43you are condemned forever to help other
5:38:45people achieve their goals in fact in
5:38:471953 one of the famous studies in 1953
5:38:51at y University they did a survey
5:38:53amongst the graduating class of seniors
5:38:55and they asked them amongst other
5:38:57questions do you have goals and have you
5:38:59made plans for their accomplishment they
5:39:00found that only 3% of the graduating
5:39:02seniors of one of the most favored
5:39:03classes that ever graduated from an i
5:39:05League college in America had goals well
5:39:08they went back in 1973 20 years later
5:39:11and they asked them amongst other things
5:39:13how much money are you worth today
5:39:15versus how much you were worth in 197
5:39:171953 and they found that the 3% who had
5:39:20set goals at the beginning of their
5:39:22careers were worth more in financial
5:39:25terms than the entire other 97% put
5:39:28together now this is a phenomenal
5:39:31accomplishment but it is not unusual as
5:39:33a matter of fact every statistic that
5:39:35I've looked at in studying goal setting
5:39:36and I have been a atic on the subject of
5:39:38goal setting for years shows that only
5:39:403% one in 30 has clear specific written
5:39:44goals with action plans for their
5:39:46accomplishment now let me say this is
5:39:49that the ability to set goals and the
5:39:51ability to make action plans for their
5:39:53accomplishment is the master skill of
5:39:55success it is the master skill it is the
5:39:59most important single skill that you can
5:40:01ever learn and through the course of
5:40:02what we're going to talk about now if
5:40:04you can learn to set and accomplish one
5:40:06major goal it can be the most important
5:40:08thing that you ever discover more
5:40:09important than math more important than
5:40:11science more important than computer
5:40:13technology more important than sales
5:40:14skills is the ability to set goals
5:40:17because once you have set goals you
5:40:19trigger into Force what is called the
5:40:21cybernetic goal seeking mechanism of the
5:40:25brain the cybernetic goal-seeking
5:40:27mechanism is this mechanism that once
5:40:28you've programmed the brain or impressed
5:40:31the brain into your subconscious you
5:40:33tend to move automatically and uniring
5:40:36toward the goal and the goal tends to
5:40:38move toward you it's almost as if you
5:40:40set into motion a whole series of cosmic
5:40:42forces that cause you to move uniring
5:40:45even though you do not know where the
5:40:46goal is and we'll talk about that uh and
5:40:48why that works a little bit later it is
5:40:50to say that within you is a mechanism
5:40:53that will lead you unerringly toward
5:40:55what you want to accomplish as long as
5:40:57you know what it is the great HL hunt
5:40:59the oil billionaire was asked his
5:41:01secrets of success on a television
5:41:03program some years ago and he said
5:41:05there's only two things you need to know
5:41:06to be successful he said number one he
5:41:08said decide exactly what you want he
5:41:10said number two determine the price
5:41:12you're going to have to pay and then
5:41:14resolve to pay that price but the
5:41:16problem is that most people don't know
5:41:18what they want in our civilization in
5:41:21our society you can have anything that
5:41:23you want in life but 95% of the
5:41:26population has either a vague idea of
5:41:28what they want or no idea at all and by
5:41:32the time this session is over I'm sure
5:41:33that will be changed a little bit for
5:41:35you setting goals is the master skill of
5:41:37success I think that goal setting should
5:41:39be taught in kindergarten and first
5:41:41grade and second grade right up to every
5:41:43single year of school there should be
5:41:45some module and some process of teaching
5:41:49young people to set goals it would
5:41:50guarantee greater success faster and
5:41:53easier in life than any other single
5:41:55skill that a person can develop no
5:41:56matter how old you are no matter where
5:41:58you are today the sooner you learn to
5:42:00develop the master skill of success by
5:42:02practice and repetition over and over
5:42:04again until you become completely
5:42:07focused as a goal achieving human being
5:42:09the sooner you learn it the faster you
5:42:11will accomplish great things in your
5:42:12life now an interesting point each of us
5:42:14has what we call a failure mechanism in
5:42:17life the failure
5:42:20mechanism goes off automatically the
5:42:23vast majority of people fail to live up
5:42:25to their potential they fail to become
5:42:26everything they're capable of becoming
5:42:28over 80% and the failure mechanism is
5:42:31what we call the comfort zone it's the
5:42:34tendency to fall into a comfort zone to
5:42:36do what is easy not to to avoid making
5:42:39the efforts necessary to succeed now
5:42:41this failure mechanism goes off
5:42:42automatically from the time we are
5:42:44infants we talked earlier about the
5:42:45Pleasure Principle we always move toward
5:42:47what is pleasurable what is easy what is
5:42:50fun what is enjoyable and we move away
5:42:52from what is uncomfortable what is
5:42:54difficult what requires discipline what
5:42:56requires effort and so on however the
5:42:58only way to override this failure
5:43:00mechanism is by activating your success
5:43:04mechanism and your success mechanism is
5:43:07triggered by a goal whenever you write
5:43:10out a goal you override the failure
5:43:13mechanism whenever you think about a
5:43:14goal you override the failure mechanism
5:43:16you see when you set a goal it releases
5:43:19positive energy it builds up drive and
5:43:22desire it gives you persistence it gives
5:43:24you Clarity of thought it gives you
5:43:26intensity of purpose and it moves you
5:43:28forward toward your objective the only
5:43:31way you can break out of the comfort
5:43:32zone is by setting goals that are
5:43:34progressively higher than anything that
5:43:36you've accomplished and all leaders in
5:43:38every study that I've looked at in the
5:43:39last few years make a habit a conscious
5:43:42habit of not getting stuck in a comfort
5:43:44zone they're always aware natural
5:43:47tendency is to slide to take it easy so
5:43:49they're always setting goals that are
5:43:51just a little bit higher than they've
5:43:53ever accomplished before they're always
5:43:54striving always reaching out beyond
5:43:57anything they've done before and that's
5:43:58what keeps them growing that keeps them
5:44:00alive it keeps them alert it keeps them
5:44:03bright and it keeps them successful now
5:44:06we know by the way that achieving goals
5:44:10is automatic you have this cybernetic
5:44:12mechanism that once you've programmed a
5:44:14goal into your mind you go off toward it
5:44:16automatically the problem is not in
5:44:18achieving in achieving goals as human
5:44:20beings you are a goal achieving organism
5:44:22the only time you're happy is when you
5:44:23have a goal the only time that you are
5:44:25fully Alive is when you're working
5:44:27towards something that's really
5:44:27important to you to you you need that
5:44:30sense of meaning and purpose that sense
5:44:31of direction that sense of significance
5:44:34in your life the question is not why is
5:44:36it that people don't achieve goals
5:44:37because achieving goals is automatic the
5:44:40question is why is it that people don't
5:44:41set goals now I've heard for years
5:44:44before I began working in this subject
5:44:46you're supposed to set goals you're
5:44:46supposed to set goals and yet I talked
5:44:48to people who read the books and taken
5:44:50the course they said do you have written
5:44:51goals they don't have any written goals
5:44:53so I began to look into the psychology
5:44:55of goal setting and I found that there
5:44:57are four major reasons why people don't
5:44:59set goals even though they know they
5:45:01should they know they're important
5:45:03they've been told over and over again
5:45:05four major reasons until you understand
5:45:07these four reasons and how they work on
5:45:09you unconsciously we can't go on to the
5:45:11next step so let's talk about them why
5:45:13don't people set goals number one reason
5:45:15why people don't set goals is they don't
5:45:18realize the importance of
5:45:20goals they don't realize the importance
5:45:23of
5:45:25goals now what does this mean well it
5:45:27means that you and I are the products of
5:45:30our upbringing you and I are the
5:45:31products of uh our parental influences
5:45:33our brothers or sisters our friends or
5:45:35family and so on if you you grew up in a
5:45:37home where your parents did not
5:45:39emphasize goals did not talk about goals
5:45:43did not encourage you to set goals at an
5:45:45early age do you know what happens is
5:45:47that you can grow up and you can become
5:45:48an adult and you cannot even be aware
5:45:50that there's such a thing as goals out
5:45:51there in the studies on who gets ahead
5:45:53in America they found an interesting
5:45:55thing they found that the conversation
5:45:57around the family dinner table is a
5:45:58major determinant of the character of
5:46:01the children who grow and come out of
5:46:02that home that if the conversation
5:46:04around the dinner table is achievement
5:46:06oriented success oriented goal oriented
5:46:09then young people will grow up believing
5:46:12and working toward goals as naturally as
5:46:14they eat with a knife and fork or wash
5:46:15their hands after dinner so people don't
5:46:18realize the importance of goal setting
5:46:20please understand that goal setting is
5:46:21critical it is the vital skill of
5:46:23success and the kindest thing that a
5:46:25person could ever do for their children
5:46:27is to help them set worthwhile and
5:46:29realistic goals from an early age and
5:46:31then give them all the encouragement
5:46:32possible to accomplish those goals
5:46:35second reason why people don't set goals
5:46:37see if this applies to you is they don't
5:46:39know
5:46:40how surprisingly enough and when I
5:46:43started studying this subject I found
5:46:45that everybody said to set goals very
5:46:47important to set goals got to set goals
5:46:49got to have goals got to put a timeline
5:46:51on goals but the fact is that there were
5:46:54no really good goal setting
5:46:56methodologies and in this course I'm
5:46:58going to teach you a goal setting
5:46:59methodology that is absolute Dynamite
5:47:02considered one of the best goal setting
5:47:04methodologies anybody's ever seen But if
5:47:06you don't know how to set goals I can
5:47:07tell you how to set goals to tell you
5:47:09two set goals all day and it wouldn't do
5:47:10you any good you can go through 12 to 15
5:47:13years of school in our society and never
5:47:16get one hour on goal setting imagine 12
5:47:19to 15 years I've taken a postgraduate
5:47:22degree in Business from a major
5:47:24university and never once did they spend
5:47:26one hour talking about how to set and
5:47:29Achieve goals never once did they
5:47:31discuss the master skill of success well
5:47:33after this course you're going to know
5:47:35how to set goals so that won't be a
5:47:37problem now the third reason why people
5:47:38don't set goals and this is in order of
5:47:40increasing importance is fear of
5:47:43rejection the fear of rejections we
5:47:45talked about before one of the most
5:47:48profound and Powerful fears in our life
5:47:50is the fear of being criticized or
5:47:53ridiculed by other people and every one
5:47:55of us as children When We Were Young we
5:47:58said I want to do this I want to be a
5:47:59fireman I want to go here I want to go
5:48:01there and we had somebody say a that's
5:48:03stupid or you can't accomplish that or
5:48:05or don't be silly or you're too small
5:48:07and so on and what we learned at a very
5:48:09early age is that if we talked about a
5:48:11goal or something that we wanted that
5:48:13was bigger than we were the most
5:48:15important people in our lives would
5:48:17ridicule us and would criticize us and
5:48:19make us feel bad and small so
5:48:21unconsciously we made a decision if you
5:48:23want to get along you've got to go along
5:48:26so we don't talk about our goals that
5:48:28way nobody criticizes us now as adults
5:48:31we fall into the trap an unconscious
5:48:33habit we fall into the Trap of not
5:48:35setting goals at all and not talking
5:48:37about goals and not thinking about goals
5:48:38can then nobody can criticize you and I
5:48:40will tell you this that 80 90% of the
5:48:41people around you if you decide you're
5:48:44going to do anything from finding a new
5:48:46parking spot to finding a new job or a
5:48:48new marriage they will tell you that it
5:48:50can't be done they'll tell you all the
5:48:52reasons and they'll line them up and
5:48:54they'll try to discourage you from doing
5:48:56anything different than you're doing so
5:48:57here's the key keep your goals
5:49:01confidential keep goals confidential
5:49:05don't discuss your goals with anybody
5:49:06body except that the great majority of
5:49:09people are threatened by anybody who has
5:49:11a goal they're worried that makes it
5:49:13makes them feel inferior and inadequate
5:49:15because they don't have goals of their
5:49:16own so only discuss your goals with
5:49:19people who also have goals of their own
5:49:21discuss them with the people close to
5:49:23you whose help you need to accomplish
5:49:24them but just don't discuss your goals
5:49:26with people at random and don't give
5:49:28them a chance to shoot the goals down
5:49:30now the
5:49:31fourth reason why people don't set goals
5:49:34this is the top of the list this is the
5:49:36worst of all it's our old friend our old
5:49:38enemy if you like fear of
5:49:43failure the fear of failure is the
5:49:46number one reason why people fail in
5:49:48adult life the fear of failure the fear
5:49:50that I can't I might lose my money I
5:49:53might lose my time I might lose my
5:49:55investment I can't I can't it causes us
5:49:58to get become tense and stressed it
5:50:00causes our heart to pound and our
5:50:01stomach to turn this fear of failure is
5:50:04the number one reason why people
5:50:05underachieve and fail life is because
5:50:07the fear of failure holds them back from
5:50:09ever trying the reason why people fear
5:50:12failure is they don't understand failure
5:50:14they don't understand this critical
5:50:16point if you can understand this point
5:50:17it can turn your whole attitude around
5:50:19it's simply this is that it's impossible
5:50:21to succeed without failing that failure
5:50:25is an indispensable part of success
5:50:28failure is essential to success that if
5:50:31you avoid failing you cannot succeed
5:50:34that every single great success in in
5:50:36human history has been a failure up
5:50:39until the moment of their success that
5:50:41the key to success is to fail and fail
5:50:44in a forward direction is to continue to
5:50:46learn from everything that goes wrong to
5:50:48every setep back every obstacle every
5:50:50disappointment step back and say what
5:50:53can I learn from this situation use the
5:50:55law of substitution and derive a
5:50:58valuable lesson from every single
5:51:01failure remember we talked about U the
5:51:04becoming an inverse paranoid confident
5:51:06expectations every time something goes
5:51:08wrong look into it and say now I wonder
5:51:10why this is happening to help me and
5:51:13you'll find that in every single setback
5:51:15or disadvantage as Napoleon Hill said in
5:51:17his book there's a valuable lesson an
5:51:19opportunity or a benefit that you can
5:51:21find if you look for it that successful
5:51:24people leaders are people who never use
5:51:26the word failure they never think of the
5:51:28word failure Thomas J Watson the founder
5:51:30of IBM was once asked by a young man he
5:51:32said Mr Watson what can I do to be more
5:51:35successful and Watson said without
5:51:36hesitating he said double your failure
5:51:39rate double your failure rate why it's
5:51:44because let me put this down it's
5:51:47because if you look at the life stories
5:51:50of successful men and women if you look
5:51:52at the life story of a person like
5:51:55Thomas Edison one of the greatest
5:51:57failures in history Thomas Edison in the
5:51:59course of his lifetime patented 1,052
5:52:02devices at the US patent office over a
5:52:04thousand of those devices were actually
5:52:06turned into commercial products that
5:52:08made enormous amounts of money Watson or
5:52:11Edison was also the greatest failure in
5:52:13the history of invention he failed
5:52:15177,000 times to come up with a plant
5:52:18that from
5:52:20which from which natural latex could be
5:52:22drawn he failed thousands of times in
5:52:24other experiments failed over 11,000
5:52:27times in his attempt to come up with a
5:52:28filament for the electric light bulb
5:52:30after he had failed 5,000 times and it
5:52:32was in the newspaper it was called
5:52:34Edison's Folly this attempt to somehow
5:52:37light the world with an incandescent
5:52:38light bulb everybody knew the world
5:52:40people were supposed to light their way
5:52:41through the world with a kerosene
5:52:43lantern reporter came to him young
5:52:45reporter said Mr Edison why do you
5:52:46persist in spending all of this time and
5:52:48money after you failed 5,000 times and
5:52:51it said young man he said you don't
5:52:53understand how the world Works he said I
5:52:55haven't failed at all he said I've just
5:52:56successfully discovered 5,000 ways that
5:52:58will not work he said that puts me just
5:53:005,000 ways closer to the way that will
5:53:03work it was over 11,000 experiments
5:53:06before he found the tungsten or the
5:53:08carbon impregnated impregnated filament
5:53:11that Lit the first electric light bulb
5:53:13and changed the world Colonel Sanders
5:53:15went to over a thousand restaurants a
5:53:1766y old man went to over a thousand
5:53:20restaurants to try to sell his recipe
5:53:22initially before he found one restaurant
5:53:25that would pay him a 5cent a chicken
5:53:27royalty but he kept on would you keep on
5:53:30after 100 200 500 a thousand people had
5:53:34told you no Sanders did and became one
5:53:37of the richest and most well-known and
5:53:39well most respected men in America so
5:53:41you have to understand that success and
5:53:43failure go handin hand that wherever
5:53:45there's is a possibility for Success
5:53:47there's also the possibility for failure
5:53:49there is nothing wrong with failing as
5:53:50long as you learn from every lesson and
5:53:53remember if you have a certain number of
5:53:55failures that you have to go through in
5:53:56order to learn the lessons and gain the
5:53:58experience in order to achieve your
5:54:00great success the sooner you do it the
5:54:02faster you get on with it the more
5:54:03mistakes you make the more times you
5:54:05fall on your face and pick your up and
5:54:06learn from it the faster you're going to
5:54:08achieve what you're capable of achieving
5:54:11all right this brings us to the second
5:54:13part of goal setting and these are what
5:54:15I call the five Keys now these five keys
5:54:18are five key parts of the process of
5:54:21goal setting for you to keep in mind on
5:54:23a regular basis the first key part
5:54:25number one is this is that the scariest
5:54:28thing in human life today is change we
5:54:31know however that change is inevitable
5:54:33that change is a part of progress that
5:54:35there's no progress without change that
5:54:37your life cannot even improve with
5:54:39change we know that change is scary and
5:54:42there's a natural tendency what we call
5:54:44homeostasis there's a natural tendency
5:54:46for people to resist change to to to
5:54:48push it back to to avoid it to dig in
5:54:51their heels to get into that comfort
5:54:52zone and as I've said before the comfort
5:54:54zone is the greatest single enemy of
5:54:56human potential change is scary unless
5:55:00it is goal directed unless it is goal
5:55:05directed and this this is the key is
5:55:07that we can overcome this persistent
5:55:10unconscious fear of Change by one simple
5:55:13technique is by taking control of it
5:55:15remember we said that the law of control
5:55:18is the critical law of human Harmony
5:55:19that you only feel positive about
5:55:21yourself to the degree to which you feel
5:55:23you are in control of your own life well
5:55:25goals allow us to control the direction
5:55:28of change we know that life never goes
5:55:30on in a straight line for any period of
5:55:32time life is either getting
5:55:35better and improving or life is getting
5:55:37worse and deteriorating that just
5:55:40happens to be the fact however when we
5:55:43set goals we can control the direction
5:55:45of change and controlling the direction
5:55:47of change is the key to our success so
5:55:51that all everything that happens in our
5:55:52life is goal directed it is toward
5:55:54something that we want it is toward
5:55:56Improvement it is in the direction of
5:55:58our highest ideals rather than random
5:56:00see nobody fears change if it's in the
5:56:03direction of something that they want
5:56:04the only change that we fear is fear is
5:56:07changed that leaves us worse off than we
5:56:09were before and this brings us to our
5:56:11second key Concept in goal setting it's
5:56:14what we call
5:56:15the area of Excellence now the area of
5:56:19Excellence concept is very simple what
5:56:21it says is that
5:56:23everybody has talents that rotate around
5:56:27the average these are average talents we
5:56:30are better at cooking better worse at
5:56:32math better at communicating worse at
5:56:34selling better at speaking wor set
5:56:36history and so on we all have talents
5:56:38but it also says that every one of us
5:56:40has talents somewhere that are in the
5:56:43exceptional range that every single
5:56:45human being has an area of excellence in
5:56:48which they are extremely capable if they
5:56:51can find it that every single person
5:56:53we'll talk about this earlier has genius
5:56:55in some area and one of the great jobs
5:56:57of adult life is to find your area of
5:57:00excellence and to throw your whole heart
5:57:01and soul into that area of excellence
5:57:03and into becoming very good in the area
5:57:06where you have unique gifts and
5:57:08abilities for instance three keys to
5:57:11your area of Excellence three critical
5:57:13Keys number one is
5:57:17attention attention the things that hold
5:57:19your attention are a very very good
5:57:21indicator of where your area of
5:57:23Excellence might be what do you like to
5:57:24read about what do you like to talk
5:57:25about what do you like to think about
5:57:26what do you like to study what do you
5:57:28like to learn more about
5:57:30also uh interest what are you interested
5:57:33in what has held you or been a
5:57:35fascinating subject for you throughout
5:57:37your life sometimes we are programmed
5:57:39internally to be interested and drawn
5:57:41towards things that are the very best
5:57:43for us and finally absorption what could
5:57:46you become totally absorbed in what
5:57:49absorbs your attention completely when
5:57:51you're working at it when you're
5:57:52thinking about it when you're reading
5:57:53about it it absorbs your attention
5:57:55completely attention interest and
5:57:57absorption are the three keys to finding
5:57:59your area of excellence and one of the
5:58:01most important responsibilities of adult
5:58:03life is to find your area of Excellence
5:58:05because until you do that and commit
5:58:07yourself to it you will never achieve
5:58:08your full potential and everybody has an
5:58:11area of Excellence now the next key
5:58:13number three area of Excellence is
5:58:14number two next next key is what we call
5:58:17Acres of
5:58:18diamonds and the Acres of diamonds
5:58:21Theory comes from a story about an old
5:58:25farmer who went off seeking diamonds in
5:58:28Africa sold his farm wrapped up
5:58:30everything went off seeking diamonds ran
5:58:33out of money and finally died poor
5:58:35impoverished and alone
5:58:36and meanwhile back on his farm the new
5:58:39owner went out and discovered some of
5:58:40the biggest diamonds in history the
5:58:42Acres of diamonds philosophy says that
5:58:44under your own feet right now in almost
5:58:47all cases is everything that you're
5:58:49looking for right now contained within
5:58:51your own talents your own abilities your
5:58:54own experience your own wisdom your own
5:58:56knowledge your industry your family your
5:58:57contacts that somewhere right now under
5:59:00your own
5:59:01feet is the opportunity that you're
5:59:04looking for you don't have to go across
5:59:06the world you don't have to move to
5:59:08another city you don't have to change
5:59:10all you have to do is mine your own
5:59:12Acres of diamonds but the interesting
5:59:14thing is that diamonds don't look like
5:59:16diamonds in their rough form diamonds or
5:59:19opportunities always come disguised as
5:59:22hard work the reason why people are
5:59:25always looking somewhere else is because
5:59:27they don't recognize that your great
5:59:29opportunities always come disguised as
5:59:31hard work and they take a tremendous
5:59:33amount of work and effort to develop and
5:59:35to realize so look under your own feet
5:59:37for your Acres of diamonds look into
5:59:39your own unique talents for your area of
5:59:41Excellence absolutely critical to goal
5:59:43setting now the fourth is the importance
5:59:46of balance in life in order to be truly
5:59:49successful you must have balanced goals
5:59:52you can't have just goals that are all
5:59:54money you can't have goals that are all
5:59:56in any One Direction you need a balance
5:59:57of goals and here are the three key
5:59:59areas number one is you need personal
6:00:02and family
6:00:03goals now your personal and family goals
6:00:06are the goals that more than anything
6:00:08else determine the quality of your
6:00:09emotional life determine how good you
6:00:12feel about yourself and life and your
6:00:15personal and family goals you need about
6:00:16three to five these are the reasons why
6:00:20these are the why of your life this is
6:00:22why you're alive in the first place
6:00:24which is to achieve a life that is
6:00:26significant and important and
6:00:27pleasurable to you and you must never
6:00:29sacrifice these for anything else the
6:00:32second set of goals are business and
6:00:34career goals now your business and
6:00:36career goals are the way that you earn
6:00:38the wherewithal they're the way that you
6:00:39fulfill your potential as a productive
6:00:41member of society they're they're the
6:00:43way you make a contribution these are
6:00:45the what goals but remember these are
6:00:48not as important as the why the natural
6:00:50tendency for us if we're not careful is
6:00:52we get so caught up in the what the
6:00:55business and career goals that we forget
6:00:57the personal and family which are the
6:00:58reasons why we started in the first
6:01:00place and you need three to five goals
6:01:02in the business and career area and
6:01:04number three is the self self
6:01:06improvement goals now self-improvement
6:01:08goals means that you look upon yourself
6:01:11as a do- it to yourself project it means
6:01:14that you look into
6:01:16yourself as a person who has infinite
6:01:20capacity but it has to be developed and
6:01:21you need three to five self-improvement
6:01:23goals too now your self-improvement
6:01:25goals are what we call the means
6:01:26self-improvement are the means to get
6:01:29the what which is the what you need in
6:01:33order to accomplish your why one more
6:01:35point and that's this and it's Point
6:01:38number five and that is the need for a
6:01:40major definite
6:01:43purpose a major definite purpose is the
6:01:47number one goal in life and every single
6:01:50study that we have looked at every
6:01:52single study I looked at in Peak
6:01:54Performance high achievement and so on
6:01:56comes back to this very simple equation
6:01:58this very simple factor is that your
6:02:00life only begins to become great when
6:02:02you fix upon a major definite purpose
6:02:05one goal
6:02:06One mission one goal that is bigger than
6:02:09any other single goal in your life now
6:02:11it doesn't mean you can't have several
6:02:12goals you can have 10 to 15 goals going
6:02:15you can have two to 300 if you want but
6:02:17you have to have one if somebody were to
6:02:20wake you up in the middle of the night
6:02:21and give you a shake and say what is
6:02:23your major definite purpose you should
6:02:24be able to open your eyes and be able to
6:02:26tell them just like that your major
6:02:28definite purpose must be measurable in
6:02:31other words you can't have a major
6:02:32definite purpose to be happy my I had
6:02:36one woman come up to me and she said her
6:02:37major definite purpose was world
6:02:40peace and I said well your major
6:02:42definite purpose in order for it to have
6:02:44any meaning for you in order for it to
6:02:47give purpose and direction to your life
6:02:50has to be under your own control it has
6:02:52to be measurable it has to be specific
6:02:55it has to be tangible it has to be
6:02:58something that you can do or have or be
6:03:01it has to be something that when you've
6:03:03accomplished it you can look at it and
6:03:04say here it is it's achieved it can't be
6:03:07something nebulous because setting a big
6:03:09broad unbounded goal is a way that we
6:03:13trick ourselves into setting no goals at
6:03:16all and with regard to your major
6:03:19definite purpose and your other goals
6:03:20two points you can have tangible and
6:03:22intangible goals in other words you can
6:03:24have qualitative goals that have to do
6:03:26with the quality of your life and you
6:03:27can have quantitative goals or tangible
6:03:29goals that have to do with your income
6:03:31weight loss bigger car bigger house and
6:03:33so on and you need a balance of those
6:03:36and finally you need short-term and
6:03:38long-term goals now your short-term
6:03:40goals ideally are about 90 days for
6:03:43maximum motivation your long-term goals
6:03:45should be about 2 to three years for
6:03:47maximum motivation and your major
6:03:49definite purpose or your major goals
6:03:51should be two to threeyear goals maybe
6:03:52shorter maybe longer broken down into
6:03:5590-day
6:03:56periods that having been said I'm going
6:03:58to give you a brief goal setting
6:04:00exercise I'm going to ask you seven
6:04:02quick questions I'm going to give you
6:04:04between 30 and 60 seconds to answer
6:04:06these questions and what I want you to
6:04:08do is write as quickly as you possibly
6:04:11can the very first things that come to
6:04:13your mind now the first question is this
6:04:16are you ready get out a pencil of paper
6:04:18pencil clean sheet of paper goal setting
6:04:21exercise here it is question number one
6:04:25is what are your five basic values in
6:04:28life what five things do you value most
6:04:31in
6:04:32life number one question you have 60
6:04:34seconds to answer this question counting
6:04:36right
6:04:37now what things do you value most in
6:04:41life your home your car your family your
6:04:45income your job your career your
6:04:48Spiritual Development your health your
6:04:50wealth your stereo set your new
6:04:53hubcaps your intelligence your
6:04:55intellectual growth what five things do
6:04:58you value most in
6:05:00life 30 seconds write the first five
6:05:03things that come to mind
6:05:06and once you've written the answer to
6:05:07this question your five basic values
6:05:10organize them in order of priority what
6:05:12are the what is the first one what would
6:05:14be number one if you had to throw away
6:05:16the other four what would be number two
6:05:18if you had to throw away the other three
6:05:20what would be number three and so on
6:05:22organize them in order of priority
6:05:24number one through number
6:05:26five right 5 Seconds 4 3 2 1 question
6:05:32number two is write your three most
6:05:35important goals in life right now you
6:05:37have 30 seconds what your three most
6:05:39important goals in life right
6:05:42now
6:05:44counting 25 seconds left write the first
6:05:48three goals that pop into your
6:05:49mind if you can't think of anything else
6:05:52write money money
6:05:54money but write the first three goals
6:05:56that pop into mind
6:05:58quickly okay 10 seconds this is an easy
6:06:02question
6:06:065 4 3 2 1 question number three you have
6:06:13one minute what would you do how would
6:06:15you spend your time if you found today
6:06:17that you only had 6 months to live how
6:06:20would you spend the last 6 months of
6:06:21your life if you only had six months to
6:06:23live write everything that you do in the
6:06:25last 6 months time is counting now write
6:06:28it as though everything you put on this
6:06:29list you can do in that last six months
6:06:31but if you don't write it down you can't
6:06:33do it how would you spend your time
6:06:36who would you spend your time with where
6:06:38would you go what would you do what
6:06:41would you want to finish up what would
6:06:42you want to start who would you want to
6:06:44see what phone calls would you
6:06:47make what bills would you run up on your
6:06:49on your charge
6:06:53cards okay in other words what would you
6:06:57do if you had six months to
6:07:03live all right 10 seconds write
6:07:05everything you can think of remember if
6:07:07it's written
6:07:08down on this sheet in front of you you
6:07:10can do it if you forget to write it you
6:07:11won't be able to do it 5 Seconds 4 3 2 1
6:07:17question number four what would you do
6:07:20how would you change your life if you
6:07:21won a million dollars in the lottery
6:07:23tomorrow if you became an instant
6:07:25millionaire what would you do
6:07:26differently from what you're doing today
6:07:28if you became an instant millionaire
6:07:30what would you do differently you've got
6:07:31one minute to write everything that you
6:07:33write you'll be able to do with that
6:07:34million dollar
6:07:36if you don't write it down you won't be
6:07:37able to spend it the million dollars
6:07:39won't be given to
6:07:41you interestingly enough when most
6:07:43people are ask this question the average
6:07:44amount that they can spend is about
6:07:46$200,000 they can't get their mind
6:07:48around a million but what would you do
6:07:50differently good question would you
6:07:52continue working at the job you're
6:07:53working at if you want a million dollars
6:07:56if the answer is no it means you're in
6:07:58the wrong job for you and you are
6:07:59wasting your life would you stay in the
6:08:02relationship that you're
6:08:04in would you continue spending your time
6:08:06the way you spend
6:08:08it what would you do if you want a
6:08:10million
6:08:12dollars all right 5 seconds left write
6:08:15down everything you can think
6:08:17of I had a farmer in one of my courses
6:08:20once he said he' just keep on farming
6:08:22till it was all
6:08:24gone anyway number
6:08:26five have to be a farmer to appreciate
6:08:29that number five is what have you always
6:08:31wanted to do but been afraid to attempt
6:08:33got 30 seconds what have you always
6:08:35wanted to do in life but been afraid to
6:08:39attempt 30 seconds right the first thing
6:08:41that pops into mind run for public
6:08:43office give a professional talk start a
6:08:46new relationship start your own business
6:08:48half the population would like to start
6:08:50their own business did you know that
6:08:51over half the population but they don't
6:08:53do it because they're afraid of failure
6:08:55or rejection or something
6:08:57else 10 seconds left what have you
6:08:59always wanted to do but been afraid to
6:09:00attempt this is a very revealing
6:09:02question write whatever comes down on
6:09:04the page
6:09:07all right question number six what sort
6:09:09of activities in life give you your
6:09:11greatest feeling of importance what sort
6:09:13of activities give you the greatest
6:09:15feeling of pleasure self-esteem
6:09:17Happiness joy and fulfillment what do
6:09:19you really like to do look back over
6:09:22your life and ask yourself when have you
6:09:23been the happiest 30 seconds left 30
6:09:25seconds to go in this question when have
6:09:27you been the happiest in life when have
6:09:28you been the most fulfilled when have
6:09:30you felt the very best about yourself
6:09:32when have you had the greatest amount of
6:09:34peace and personal satis action what
6:09:36sort of circumstances what were you
6:09:38doing at the time who were you doing it
6:09:40with where were you going what were your
6:09:42goals what were the circumstances and so
6:09:44on very very important
6:09:47question all right five more seconds and
6:09:50then here is the key question in
6:09:52determining your major definite purpose
6:09:55is this imagine that I could give you a
6:09:57pill that was a magic pill and if you
6:09:59took this magic pill you could
6:10:00accomplish any one thing in the whole
6:10:02world and the question is simply this
6:10:03what one great thing would you dare to
6:10:05to dream if you knew you could not fail
6:10:07what one great thing would you dare to
6:10:10dream if you knew you could not fail all
6:10:13right 45
6:10:15seconds what one great thing what one
6:10:22goal would you dare to
6:10:25dream if you knew beyond a shadow of a
6:10:30doubt that you could not fail you
6:10:33absolutely guaranteed of success what
6:10:36would it
6:10:44be 5 Seconds now in almost every case by
6:10:48the way the answers to these questions
6:10:50will Spring to your lips some people
6:10:52however have been able to go through
6:10:53this whole exercise and not been able to
6:10:55answer a single question and there's
6:10:57nothing wrong with that the whole
6:10:58purpose of this exercise is to help you
6:11:01begin crystallizing your goals and
6:11:03especially your major definite purpose
6:11:06let's look at these goals let's look at
6:11:07these questions and I suggest that you
6:11:09take this exercise every single month
6:11:11until you can pop out the answers to
6:11:13every one of these questions and they
6:11:14begin to improve and crystallize five
6:11:16basic values in life we said that
6:11:18self-esteem is the key to Peak
6:11:20Performance while self-esteem only comes
6:11:22when your goals and your values fit like
6:11:25a hand in a glove that the most
6:11:26successful men and women in our society
6:11:28are people who know what they believe
6:11:30who know what their values are and they
6:11:33organize their time so that it's
6:11:35consistent with their values and you'll
6:11:37find that most stress most unhappiness
6:11:39most irritability most health problems
6:11:41most burnout comes from living a life
6:11:43that is inconsistent with your basic
6:11:46values so always be asking yourself what
6:11:48are my values what do I believe in and
6:11:51make sure that your outer life is
6:11:52consistent with your inner life it's the
6:11:54key to Peak Performance the key to
6:11:56self-esteem the key to happiness number
6:11:58two what are your three most important
6:12:00goals in life whenever you're given only
6:12:0230 seconds to answer that question the
6:12:04three goals that the sub not just pops
6:12:05to your mind will almost invariably be
6:12:07the three most important concerns or
6:12:09goals that you have right now this is a
6:12:12very revealing question and you can give
6:12:14it to yourself and give it to other
6:12:15people what would you do if you had six
6:12:16months to live if you only have six
6:12:19months to
6:12:20live it refers you back to your basic
6:12:22values it tells you what you really
6:12:24value in life and an important question
6:12:27is this is that how much of your current
6:12:29life is consistent with what you would
6:12:31do if you only had 6 months to live
6:12:33would you spend more time with your
6:12:34family if you would are you spending
6:12:36more time with your family now remember
6:12:38you never know when you only have 6
6:12:40months to live what would you do if you
6:12:42became an instant millionaire perfect
6:12:44question that simply asks you what would
6:12:46you do if you had all the time and money
6:12:48in the world what would you do if you
6:12:49had no fear of failure and no fear of
6:12:52rejection what would you do if you were
6:12:54free to choose if you had complete
6:12:57freedom to choose the fact is that
6:12:58anything that you could write down as an
6:13:00answer to question number four you can
6:13:01accomplish you don't need a million
6:13:03dollars all you need to do is has set it
6:13:05as a goal and make a plan and start
6:13:07working toward work you may not get it
6:13:09as fast as if you were a millionaire but
6:13:10you'll get it nonetheless asking the
6:13:13question simply frees your mind question
6:13:15number five what are you afraid to
6:13:16attempt that may tell you what the
6:13:18self-limiting belief or block is that's
6:13:21holding you back from achieving your
6:13:23full potential question number six what
6:13:26gives you your greatest feeling of
6:13:27importance this is simply asks you what
6:13:30gives you a feeling of self-esteem and
6:13:32this will lead you uniring to your area
6:13:34of Excellence
6:13:35because you will always and only become
6:13:37Excellence doing what gives you a
6:13:40tremendous feeling of importance and
6:13:42question number seven what one great
6:13:44thing would you dare to dream if you
6:13:46knew you could not fail let me just say
6:13:48this as we close that whatever you wrote
6:13:51as an answer to that question whatever
6:13:53you wrote as an answer to the question
6:13:55what one great thing would you dare to
6:13:57dream if you knew you could not fail you
6:14:00can be have or do the only question is
6:14:03how badly do you want it
6:14:05and are you willing to pay the price
6:14:07because if you are and you're willing to
6:14:09pay the price and work toward it you can
6:14:12accomplish everything on that list and
6:14:15sometimes far faster than you can
6:14:16possibly imagine the question is how
6:14:19badly do you want
6:14:31it session 16 12 steps to go
6:14:35achieving one of the wisest men I ever
6:14:38met gave me a success secret some years
6:14:40ago that would made a real impression on
6:14:41me and it was simply this he said one of
6:14:44the most important things he found in 50
6:14:46years of research was the need to use
6:14:48proven success methods he said your life
6:14:52is too short to try to reinvent the
6:14:54wheel or to learn it all by yourself so
6:14:56the smartest thing that you can do is
6:14:58what is called creative imitation which
6:15:01is to go out and find what other people
6:15:03have done that works and do what they do
6:15:05until you get it to the point where you
6:15:07really know it well and then improve
6:15:09upon it what I want to tell you about in
6:15:11this session is a proven success method
6:15:14it's a 12-step method for goal setting
6:15:16and goal achieving which I've taught to
6:15:18over 100,000 people I've had many men
6:15:21and women come back to me and say
6:15:22they've accomplished more in a month
6:15:24with this program than they have in a
6:15:26year without it I've had people who've
6:15:28accomplished more than two or three
6:15:29years than they'd accomplished in 10 or
6:15:3120 years using this very simple
6:15:33methodology it is a proven success
6:15:35method I urge you to try it I urge you
6:15:38to use it incorporate it into your life
6:15:40use it as an automatic process and
6:15:42whenever you start thinking about your
6:15:44direction your meaning your purpose
6:15:46where you want to go sit down and work
6:15:48it through these 12 steps until it
6:15:50becomes automatic remember the ability
6:15:52to set and set goals and to make plans
6:15:55for their accomplishment is the master
6:15:57skill of success which can only be learn
6:15:59through practice and repetition over and
6:16:02over and over again now let's go to the
6:16:05board and let's talk about these 12
6:16:07Steps step number one starting point of
6:16:10all success and by the way let me step
6:16:11back just for one second we talked a
6:16:13little bit earlier about the importance
6:16:14of the major definite purpose your major
6:16:17definite purpose the major goal the
6:16:19number one goal in your life and many
6:16:21people come to me and write to me and
6:16:22phone me and they say how do I pick my
6:16:25major definite purpose and the only
6:16:27solution I can give you is go through
6:16:29the seven-step goal setting exercise
6:16:31which we did in the previous session and
6:16:33also if you can't come up with with it
6:16:35then make it your major definite purpose
6:16:37to find your major definite purpose
6:16:39dwell upon your major definite purpose
6:16:42ask yourself what could it be what
6:16:44should it be what will it be what ought
6:16:46it to be and keep running this over and
6:16:49over in your mind seek information look
6:16:51discover and you will find that with the
6:16:54inexorability of a law of nature that
6:16:56your major definite purpose will come to
6:16:58you and it'll be so clear so obvious so
6:17:01right and it will happen in exactly the
6:17:03right time well this that when we talk
6:17:05about the superconscious mind a little
6:17:07bit later but for now if you don't have
6:17:09a major definite purpose make finding
6:17:11your major definite purpose your major
6:17:13definite purpose and when you do find it
6:17:15run it through this exercise the same
6:17:17way you would run something through a
6:17:18computer to get an answer at the bottom
6:17:20step number one in goal setting is
6:17:24desire and the more intense the desire
6:17:27the more burning the desire the more you
6:17:29want something the more likely it is
6:17:31that you'll accomplish it as a matter of
6:17:33fact it's been said over and over again
6:17:35that burning desire is the starting
6:17:37point of all great accomplishment why is
6:17:39that so important well burning desire is
6:17:42the desire that drives you ahead over
6:17:44all the difficulties disappointments
6:17:47temporary failures obstacles because if
6:17:49your goal is worthy of you you're going
6:17:51to fall on your face over and over and
6:17:53over again you're going to make mistakes
6:17:55it's going to cost you money it's going
6:17:57to cost you time it's going to cost you
6:17:59anxiety as a matter of fact if you're
6:18:00not laying in bed at night staring at
6:18:02the ceiling with your heart pounding at
6:18:04least nights a week you're probably not
6:18:06trying hard enough so burning desire is
6:18:10the starting point of all great goal
6:18:12attainment now burning desire is always
6:18:15personal it's always personal which
6:18:19means that when it comes to setting
6:18:21goals whatever the goal is it has to be
6:18:23your goal you cannot want a goal for
6:18:27someone else and someone else cannot
6:18:29want a goal for you when we talk about
6:18:32desire make it first somebody says I
6:18:34want to get a race at my job that's my
6:18:36goal that's setting a desire for your
6:18:38boss I had a young man say to me I want
6:18:40to marry this particular girl that's
6:18:42setting a goal for the girl only you can
6:18:45set goals for yourself but be very
6:18:47certain that the goals that you do set
6:18:49are yours that the goals that you do set
6:18:51are ones that turn you on not goals that
6:18:54somebody else wants for you or goals
6:18:56that you think you should do or you
6:18:58ought to do or they'd be good for you to
6:19:00do think through yourself and be
6:19:02perfectly honest be perfectly honest ask
6:19:05yourself what is it that you
6:19:08want now interestingly enough it takes
6:19:11tremendous
6:19:12courage to be perfectly honest and
6:19:14perfectly selfish in goal setting but if
6:19:16you are not perfectly honest at this
6:19:18stage and asking yourself what you
6:19:19really want what is it deep in your
6:19:22heart you really want to be have or do
6:19:24if you're not honest at this stage the
6:19:26whole rest of the process falls apart if
6:19:28you are honest at this stage it's like a
6:19:30rocket launch you can go there from
6:19:32there you can go anywhere step number
6:19:34number two is belief remember we said
6:19:38before that your external world will
6:19:40always be a representation of your
6:19:43internal world and that your internal
6:19:45world is made up of your beliefs your
6:19:47convictions if you like another word is
6:19:50Faith it's what you believe or what you
6:19:53have faith in deep down inside there's a
6:19:56great uh talk by Reverend Ike where he
6:19:58talks about Fascination and he says that
6:20:01what you are fascinated by becomes your
6:20:04reality because you are drawn toward it
6:20:06and it is drawn toward you what you
6:20:09believe in what you have faith in what
6:20:11interests you what draws you what
6:20:13fascinates you is critical and another
6:20:15word is conviction you have to believe
6:20:18that it is possible for you to
6:20:20accomplish the goal you have to believe
6:20:22that it is possible for you to achieve
6:20:24it for that reason it's very important
6:20:26that you make your goal
6:20:28believable many people when they learn
6:20:31these new ideas about goal setting they
6:20:33make a mistake they think wow wow I'm
6:20:35going to go out and I'm going to make a
6:20:36million dollars in a year and the fact
6:20:38of the matter is is that a million
6:20:40dollars if you're making whatever you're
6:20:42making now to jump to a million dollars
6:20:44in most cases is so big that your
6:20:47conscious mind rejects it as being
6:20:49illogical not acceptable impossible and
6:20:52if your conscious mind rejects it it
6:20:54never gets to the subconscious mind
6:20:56remember your subconscious mind can only
6:20:58accept as a command something that you
6:21:01totally believe in the conscious mind so
6:21:03make it a believable and make it
6:21:05achievable it's better to set a smaller
6:21:09goal at first and accomplish that and
6:21:11then a larger goal and accomplish that
6:21:13and a larger goal and accomplish that
6:21:14for instance two examples if you want to
6:21:17lose weight don't say I'm going to lose
6:21:1820 PBS or 30 pounds lose 5 pounds you
6:21:22see 5 pounds you can believe you can get
6:21:25your mind around 5 pounds if you want to
6:21:26increase your income increase your
6:21:28income by 50%
6:21:34question mark plus increase your income
6:21:36by 50% if you're earning $10,000 a year
6:21:38say my goal is to earn $155,000 a year I
6:21:42earn $155,000 per year you can get your
6:21:45mind around 50% that's less than 4% a
6:21:48month compounded you can get your mind
6:21:49around5 pounds and as you begin to move
6:21:52your income up or begin to move your
6:21:53weight down then adjust the goal and
6:21:56make it five more pounds make it 50%
6:21:58more and so on but keep your goals
6:22:00believable according to the work at
6:22:02Harvard University your goals should
6:22:04have a 50/50 probability of success
6:22:0750/50 probability and each goal should
6:22:10be aimed at what is called your next
6:22:13step your next logical step on the road
6:22:16to
6:22:18accomplishment so if you want to run a
6:22:20marathon and you've never run before the
6:22:22first thing is to run a mile and run a
6:22:24mile without pain and then run two miles
6:22:26and then run three miles but to go from
6:22:28zero to running a marathon has been
6:22:30found to be a self-defeating exercise
6:22:32it'll actually hurt you more than will
6:22:34at you remember in order for a goal to
6:22:37unlock the motivational capacity that
6:22:40lies within you you must be able to
6:22:42believe that it's possible of
6:22:43accomplishment so better to set it lower
6:22:45to start with and then raise the
6:22:46standard than set it so high that it
6:22:48defeats you right at the beginning
6:22:50number three is write it
6:22:53down now this is very important because
6:22:56most people don't write their goals down
6:22:59only 3% of the population have written
6:23:01goals only 5% of goals at all only 3% of
6:23:05written goals and I venture to say that
6:23:06probably you don't have any written
6:23:07goals either and if you do have written
6:23:09goals you probably don't have them
6:23:10written out in any detail write the goal
6:23:12down remember the reasons why people
6:23:14don't set goals one of the reasons why
6:23:16they don't write the goals down is that
6:23:17when you write a goal down you make it
6:23:21concrete suddenly your subconscious
6:23:24wakes up and says ha you mean business
6:23:27when you don't write it down you are
6:23:29avoiding making a commitment
6:23:31unconsciously the reason why people
6:23:33don't write their goals down is because
6:23:35of the fear of failure the reason they
6:23:37don't write their goals down is they
6:23:38don't want to make a commitment to it
6:23:39you see if you never write it down then
6:23:40nobody can ever tell you you didn't
6:23:41accomplish it if you don't write it down
6:23:43well then you're not really locked into
6:23:44anything you keep your options open if
6:23:46you like and you go on to fail and
6:23:48underachieve in life all the successful
6:23:51people have written goals and if you
6:23:53want to be successful you really have no
6:23:55choice so write the goals down make it
6:23:56concrete make a commitment a 100%
6:23:59commitment to accomplishing your goal
6:24:01will do more to drive you towards your
6:24:02goal than you can possibly imagine now
6:24:04when you write it down make it
6:24:06clear don't make it fuzzy so don't say I
6:24:08want to be happy or I want to be rich
6:24:10make it clear make it
6:24:13specific if you want to earn a certain
6:24:15amount of money make it a specific
6:24:17amount of money make it after tax
6:24:19dollars if you want to start a business
6:24:21make it a profitable business if you
6:24:23want to get into a relationship make it
6:24:25a happy relationship but make it clear
6:24:28specific and use vivid words or vivid
6:24:32language because the more Vivid the
6:24:33language is the more rapidly the
6:24:37subconscious accepts it emotional words
6:24:39like warm exciting powerful loving happy
6:24:42Dynamic these are the kind of words that
6:24:44drive the goal into the subconscious
6:24:46mind it's absolutely essential that it
6:24:48be a written goal this is by the way
6:24:51where the winners part from the losers
6:24:55because the losers always have a reason
6:24:57not to write out their goals number four
6:25:00is ask yourself this critical question
6:25:03why do you want it
6:25:05why do you want
6:25:07it this is one of the most important of
6:25:09all questions because it will as it will
6:25:12answer three things first of all it will
6:25:14make sure that it's your goal and not
6:25:15somebody else's second of all it will
6:25:17intensify your desire because the more
6:25:20reasons that you have these are what is
6:25:22called your reasons why your reasons why
6:25:25in most cases are more important than
6:25:28the goal itself the goals can change the
6:25:31reasons why stay the same do you want it
6:25:35because it will make you happier
6:25:36healthier more popular do you want it
6:25:38because it will fulfill your deepest
6:25:41needs it will give you a sense of
6:25:42meaning and purpose in life why do you
6:25:44want it you see if the more reasons you
6:25:47have to want something and if you make a
6:25:49list of them list the reasons the more
6:25:52reasons you have the more desire you'll
6:25:54have because reasons are the fuel in the
6:25:57furnace of achievement reasons are the
6:26:00fuel in the furnace of achievement the
6:26:02more reasons you have for accomplishing
6:26:04something the more likely it is you'll
6:26:05accomplish it for instance if you say
6:26:07well I like to earn $50,000 a year or
6:26:1030,000 or 100,000 doesn't matter person
6:26:13says why and if you just say well just
6:26:14so that I can earn that kind of money it
6:26:17has almost no motivating power but if
6:26:19you say so I could get a car so I could
6:26:21take care of my family so I could take
6:26:22my wife or my husband on a trip so I
6:26:24could buy things for my children so I
6:26:25could change my wardrobe get a different
6:26:27house buy a different car the more
6:26:29things that you list under there the
6:26:31more likely it is that you're going to
6:26:33accomplish it because when you list your
6:26:35reasons you intensify your belief your
6:26:38faith and your conviction that it's
6:26:40possible number five step in goal
6:26:43setting is to analyze your
6:26:47position analyze your starting point now
6:26:51this is
6:26:52important because in analyzing your
6:26:54starting point you know what your next
6:26:56step is when we say analyzing our
6:26:58starting point what do we mean well let
6:27:00me give you a couple of examples
6:27:05in analyzing your starting point you
6:27:06have to ask yourself what are your
6:27:08strengths what are your basic strengths
6:27:10and what are your basic weaknesses what
6:27:12is it that you need to learn what is it
6:27:14that you need to improve you see before
6:27:16you accomplish any big goals major
6:27:19efforts are necessary before you bring
6:27:21about any major change in your life
6:27:22you're going to have to bring about
6:27:24major changes in you before you
6:27:27accomplish anything extraordinary you're
6:27:29going to have to do a lot of ordinary
6:27:31things so you have to ask this question
6:27:33if if you want to lose weight what's the
6:27:35first thing you do is you weigh yourself
6:27:36if you want to increase your income the
6:27:37first thing you do is you figure out how
6:27:39much did you make last year how much are
6:27:40you making right now and then if you
6:27:42want to increase your income and you're
6:27:43in the business of sales then you say
6:27:45how many calls am I making on a daily
6:27:48basis how many closes am I making what
6:27:50is my average sales volume uh what is my
6:27:53average sale how many of those do I have
6:27:55to have how much do I have to increase
6:27:57it and so on if you want to build a
6:27:59bigger business you analyze your
6:28:00starting point and you say Where am I in
6:28:02the marketplace how am I fixing with
6:28:04regard to capital resources how am I
6:28:06fixed with regard to Manpower how am I
6:28:08fixed with regard to Market
6:28:09opportunities and credit and you sit
6:28:11down and you do a very very clear
6:28:13analysis exactly the way a military
6:28:15commander would do a strategic analysis
6:28:17of his or her position before a
6:28:19launching a major battle campaign one of
6:28:22the big mistakes that people make in
6:28:23goal setting is they launch without
6:28:25taking the time to think through what
6:28:27their launching pad is and when they
6:28:29find themselves driven back if you like
6:28:31or falling on their face they don't have
6:28:33a found Foundation underneath it so
6:28:35those are the six starting points
6:28:37determine what it is that you desire I'm
6:28:39sorry the five starting points determine
6:28:41what it is that you desire believe that
6:28:43you can accomplish it write it down
6:28:45determine the reasons why analyze your
6:28:47starting point and number
6:28:50six set a
6:28:53deadline set a
6:28:56deadline you see a goal without a
6:28:59deadline is not really a goal at all a
6:29:01goal without a deadline is an exercise
6:29:03in self delusion so be very alert to
6:29:05that set a deadline on your total goal
6:29:08and then set many
6:29:09deadlines not many but
6:29:12many
6:29:15so if you have a one-year goal then set
6:29:1812 one month goals WR two six months
6:29:22goals Four 3 month goals 12 one month
6:29:25goals and then four onee goals set many
6:29:28deadlines and establish a reward
6:29:31schedule this is one of the most
6:29:34important findings in Psychology is
6:29:36establish a reward
6:29:38schedule is that if you will give
6:29:40yourself a small reward and we find that
6:29:43many many of the most successful men and
6:29:45women that we've studied have little
6:29:47games with themselves if if it's nothing
6:29:49more than every three phone calls they
6:29:50give them a Jelly Bean or every two
6:29:53appointments that they get they give
6:29:55themselves a cup of coffee or a walk
6:29:57outside it really doesn't matter what it
6:29:59is but establish a reward schedule so
6:30:01that every time you achieve a mini
6:30:03deadline for a mini goal on the path to
6:30:06your bigger goal you give yourself a
6:30:08reward and you'll find that people who
6:30:10have not been able to motivate
6:30:11themselves for years if they have little
6:30:13rewards one after the other you see you
6:30:15see it's not enough to have a big reward
6:30:17at the end of the road as human beings
6:30:20we're almost like uh kids we have to
6:30:22have a whole lot of little rewards on
6:30:24the way a whole lot of little jelly
6:30:25beans on the way to the birthday cake or
6:30:27the birthday party so set yourself a
6:30:29reward schedule it may be buying a new
6:30:31article of clothing it may be taking a
6:30:33trip it may be going out to dinner it
6:30:35may be any anything that you like you
6:30:37can have little rewards for small
6:30:39achievements mediumsized rewards for
6:30:41mediumsized achievements big rewards for
6:30:43big achievements and make sure that that
6:30:45why is there because it intensifies the
6:30:47desire it keeps up your excitement and
6:30:49enthusiasm and it unconsciously
6:30:51reinforces you and drives you forward
6:30:53into the next action step number seven
6:30:56this is where we come down into the
6:30:58planning step step number seven is this
6:31:00is
6:31:02identify the obstacles
6:31:05you will have to overcome identify the
6:31:07obstacles one of the things that we know
6:31:10is that obstacles equal success success
6:31:14means obstacles that there is no success
6:31:17without obstacles as a matter of fact
6:31:19obstacles come to
6:31:21instruct not to
6:31:24obstruct instruct versus obstruct
6:31:27remember this every obstacle or
6:31:29difficulty that you meet on the way to
6:31:30your goal has come to instruct you in s
6:31:33in some way way so identify the
6:31:35obstacles you're going to have to
6:31:36overcome on the way to your goal one of
6:31:38the things that holds people back from
6:31:40great accomplishment is that they see
6:31:42that there's an enormous number of
6:31:44obstacles that they have to overcome
6:31:46it's like the settlers coming across the
6:31:47Prairies a 100 years ago saw those
6:31:50enormous enormous Rocky Mountains and so
6:31:52how are they ever going to get through
6:31:54that massive mountain range of mountains
6:31:56until some of the Trappers and some of
6:31:58the scouts found that there were valleys
6:32:01that they could find that would lead
6:32:02them through the mountain and all they
6:32:04needed was one Valley through one set of
6:32:07mountains in order to be on the other
6:32:08side so look at identify the obstacles
6:32:11and then list the obstacles ask yourself
6:32:14what are all the things that are holding
6:32:16you
6:32:17back from accomplishing the goal right
6:32:19now why aren't you at the goal right now
6:32:21you see if there aren't any obstacles
6:32:23it's not a goal at all it's just an
6:32:24activity so what's standing between you
6:32:26and the obstacles also be well be
6:32:28grateful for obstacles because it's
6:32:30obstacles that assure that there is
6:32:32Success at the other end where there are
6:32:33no obstacles where there are no
6:32:34difficulties where there are no
6:32:35challenges to overcome there's no
6:32:37possibility of success either then set
6:32:40priorities on your obstacles in other
6:32:43words look at them and say of all the
6:32:44things that are standing between me and
6:32:46my goal which one is number one which is
6:32:50the number one obstacle imagine that
6:32:52this is you okay hope you can see that
6:32:55that this is you and here is your
6:32:58goal well now on the way to your goal
6:33:00there's a road and the road twists and
6:33:03turns and on the way to the goal there's
6:33:04a little few obstacles and there's
6:33:06pitfalls and there's deadfalls and so on
6:33:08but somewhere on the way to this goal
6:33:09there's also what we call the Rock now
6:33:12your rock is your major obstacle the
6:33:15rock is the major thing that is stopping
6:33:18you from achieving your goal and the
6:33:19quality and the quantity that you desire
6:33:22one of the most important things that
6:33:23you can do is ask yourself what is your
6:33:26rock what is the major bowler what is
6:33:29the big obstruction that stops you from
6:33:31getting to from here to there
6:33:33identifying the rock is one of the marks
6:33:36of the Strategic thinker and identifying
6:33:38the rock is one of the key things you do
6:33:40why because if you get rid of all of
6:33:42these other little obstacles on the way
6:33:43to the goal the rock is still going to
6:33:45be there and you're still not going to
6:33:47accomplish the goal if you're not very
6:33:48careful if you don't set priorities on
6:33:50your obstacles you'll tend to work on a
6:33:52whole lot of irrelevant things and leave
6:33:54this rock undisturbed however the
6:33:56intelligent person focuses on the Rock
6:34:00the intelligent person says this is the
6:34:01major obstacle and they go to work on
6:34:04that rock and they work day and night
6:34:06they work as long as is necessary
6:34:08there's a beautiful expression that says
6:34:10swarm all over it when you have a major
6:34:13problem a major obstacle a major
6:34:15difficulty that's in your way swarm all
6:34:17over it concentrate all of your effort
6:34:19and attention work at it day and night
6:34:22week in and week out to get rid of it
6:34:24because getting rid of that one obstacle
6:34:25will get you further towards your goal
6:34:28than getting rid of all of the other
6:34:29obstacles put together so in terms of
6:34:32your major definite purpose
6:34:34what is your rock what is your major
6:34:37obstacle what's stopping you from going
6:34:38ahead it could be internal it could be
6:34:41lack of self-confidence it's very could
6:34:43be self-doubt it could be fear of loss
6:34:45it could be a lot of things that's quite
6:34:47normal or it could be external it could
6:34:49be lack of money it could be lack of
6:34:51information or knowledge it could be
6:34:53lack of support from other people it
6:34:54could be Health it could be a variety of
6:34:56things but whatever it is if you're
6:34:58determined to accomplish your goal find
6:35:00out what it is and go to work to remove
6:35:02it now number eight
6:35:04is
6:35:06identify the knowledge you're going to
6:35:09require identify the knowledge that
6:35:11you're going to require you see we live
6:35:15in a knowledge-based society there's no
6:35:17question about that is that no matter
6:35:20what it is that you want to accomplish
6:35:21you're going to need more knowledge than
6:35:23you have now the basic rule of life is
6:35:26that to the to a greater or lesser
6:35:27extent you have gone as far as you can
6:35:30go in your life at this moment with what
6:35:33you now know that's why I've emphasized
6:35:35so strongly the need for in continuous
6:35:38self-development reading learning taking
6:35:40in new information because you need more
6:35:42knowledge now there's two ways that you
6:35:43can get knowledge you can go out and get
6:35:45original knowledge which is to read
6:35:47research and find it yourself or you can
6:35:49get Knowledge from other people but in
6:35:51any case identify the knowledge you
6:35:53require what do you need to
6:35:56know for instance if you want to be
6:35:58successful in business one of the things
6:36:00that you have to know is marketing and
6:36:02sales if you want to be successful UC in
6:36:03your own business the critical skill in
6:36:06entrepreneurial success is salesmanship
6:36:08the critical skill in executive success
6:36:10is the ability to sell your ideas to
6:36:13others and to persuade others so maybe
6:36:14what you need maybe the critical
6:36:16knowledge you need is persuasion skills
6:36:18or it could be the knowledge that you
6:36:20need has to do with the law it has to do
6:36:22with accounting has to do with
6:36:23technology two points is set priorities
6:36:27on your
6:36:29knowledge you see when you set
6:36:31priorities and you determine what's the
6:36:32number one piece of knowledge that you
6:36:34need what's the one number one piece of
6:36:36knowledge that more than anything else
6:36:37can hold you back from accomplishing
6:36:40your goal and you'll find that if you
6:36:42concentrate on the number one piece of
6:36:44knowledge it's like The Rock in terms of
6:36:46obstacles the number one piece of
6:36:47knowledge once acquired will catapult
6:36:50you toward your goal whereas if you
6:36:52accomplish a whole lot of other
6:36:53knowledge it won't help you at all now
6:36:56finally and this is the the last part
6:36:58with regard to knowledge is ask your way
6:36:59to
6:37:00success ask your way to success
6:37:06this is one of the pieces of advice by a
6:37:08great success counselor is ask ask ask
6:37:12what he said and what every person who's
6:37:14ever studied this has said is that this
6:37:16three-letter word ask is the key to your
6:37:20success in life ask the people who have
6:37:22the knowledge if you need hire the
6:37:24lawyers hire the Consultants hire the
6:37:27Specialists hire the accountants ask
6:37:29your way to success find other people
6:37:31who are in your field find people who
6:37:33have success find people who are
6:37:34experienced and go to them and ask why
6:37:37is it that people don't ask very simple
6:37:39reason most people are afraid of
6:37:40rejection but the key to getting the
6:37:42things that you want in life is first of
6:37:43all you going have to learn it all
6:37:45yourself or second is you can ask other
6:37:48people and surprisingly enough if you
6:37:49ask other people they'll tell you if you
6:37:51ask successful people what they did
6:37:53right they'll tell you if you ask
6:37:55successful people for their advice
6:37:56they'll tell you as a matter of fact I
6:37:58was studying the life of a self-made
6:37:59millionaire and he said one of the keys
6:38:01to success in business is to become a
6:38:03negative thinker and I thought that was
6:38:05astonishing because I teach that you
6:38:06should be a positive thinker and as I
6:38:07read on what he said is by that I mean
6:38:10is that once you come up with a great
6:38:12idea take it to experts who can tear
6:38:15your idea apart who can point out holes
6:38:18and weaknesses and flaws now if you
6:38:20cannot plug the holes weaknesses and
6:38:22flaws it probably means the idea isn't
6:38:24good enough but if you are not willing
6:38:26to subject your idea to the scrutiny of
6:38:30critical people whose job is to find
6:38:32fatal flaw in something then the idea is
6:38:34probably not good enough so seeking out
6:38:37negative people asking people their
6:38:38opinion ask your way to success remember
6:38:41in order to succeed you need knowledge
6:38:43you need more knowledge than you've got
6:38:45you don't have very much time you've got
6:38:47to get the knowledge the fastest
6:38:49cheapest way possible if necessary buy
6:38:51the knowledge you require don't be cheap
6:38:53when it comes to knowledge number
6:38:55nine step in goal setting is identify
6:38:59and ask yourself who is your
6:39:01customer who is your your
6:39:06customer this means that you have to
6:39:09identify the
6:39:10people the
6:39:13groups and the
6:39:15organizations whose cooperation you
6:39:18require in order to be successful who
6:39:21are the people who are the groups who
6:39:22are the organizations you see in life we
6:39:24have a very simple equation is that
6:39:25everybody makes their living by
6:39:27satisfying or serving somebody that you
6:39:31and me have a customer
6:39:34and that we move ahead in life to the
6:39:36degree to which we satisfy our customers
6:39:38so we are all in the business of
6:39:40customer satisfaction now if you work
6:39:42for a company your customer may be your
6:39:44boss if you're a salesperson your
6:39:46customer may be your boss on the inside
6:39:48and the person who buys your product or
6:39:49service on the outside if you're a nurse
6:39:51your customer is the head nurse whoever
6:39:53you are there is somebody in your
6:39:55environment if you have a business
6:39:56person you have to expand one of your
6:39:58customers is your Banker another one of
6:40:00your customers is your staff your
6:40:02employees another customer may be your
6:40:04family but there are always people that
6:40:06you have to work with in order to
6:40:08accomplish your goals now why should
6:40:10people work with you in order to help
6:40:12you accomplish your goals there's only
6:40:14one way and that is what we call the law
6:40:18of compensation the law of compensation
6:40:21which comes from Ralph wallow Emerson's
6:40:24wonderful essay called compensation
6:40:26simply says that for every force in life
6:40:29there's an equal and opposite Force we
6:40:30call it the law of sewing and reaping
6:40:32but it says this it says that you are
6:40:34always compensated in equal measure for
6:40:37what you do in fact it always says that
6:40:39you are compensated in more than equal
6:40:41measure so if you sow good you reap more
6:40:44good than you sow if you sow bad you
6:40:46reap more bad than you sow the law of
6:40:49compensation says that as long as you
6:40:51are doing good things for other people
6:40:53people other people will do good things
6:40:55for you so you ask this question and
6:40:57this is everybody's favorite radio
6:40:58station it's called wi if FM what's in
6:41:02it for me
6:41:04wi FM what's in it for me if you want to
6:41:07be successful in life the most
6:41:09successful people are what are called
6:41:11go-givers as opposed to go-getters
6:41:14go-givers are people who are always
6:41:16asking what can I do to please my
6:41:19customers what can I do to give value
6:41:21what can I do to earn their cooperation
6:41:24and their help to accomplish my goals
6:41:26they're always trying to put themselves
6:41:28on the side of this law of compensation
6:41:30knowing that if they put in they'll get
6:41:33out all the best companies in America or
6:41:36Canada anywhere in the world are built
6:41:37on the law of compensation built on the
6:41:39law of sewing good seed and reaping good
6:41:42harvests all unsuccessful laws or all
6:41:45unsuccessful individuals and companies
6:41:47are built on the premise of taking as
6:41:50much as you can get putting in back or
6:41:52as little as you can put in now a second
6:41:55law which ties in with this is what it's
6:41:58called The
6:41:59Law of
6:42:00service the law of service says that you
6:42:04will always be rewarded in life in exact
6:42:08proportion to the value of your service
6:42:11to other people to your customer whoever
6:42:14your customer or customers are the law
6:42:17of service says that your returns will
6:42:19always equal your service that if you
6:42:21want to increase the value of your
6:42:23returns you have to increase the value
6:42:24of your service but it also says this
6:42:26wonderful thing is that the great
6:42:28satisfactions in life the great Joys
6:42:30that you will enjoy in life will always
6:42:31come from serving other people it'll
6:42:33always come from doing a good job from
6:42:35contributing something of value to
6:42:37others and the more work you do on
6:42:39yourself to increase the value of your
6:42:41contribution the happier you will be and
6:42:44the bigger your rewards will be it also
6:42:46triggers the third law which is the law
6:42:49of return the law of return says that
6:42:52whatever you put in in terms of service
6:42:54you will get back in terms of return and
6:42:57it brings us to one more law again from
6:42:59Napoleon Hill called The Law of
6:43:02overcompensation the law of
6:43:03overcompensation to me and to many
6:43:06people is the key to success in life and
6:43:08it simply says this it says always do
6:43:12more than you're paid for always put in
6:43:14more than you take out always go the
6:43:17extra mile always do more than you're
6:43:19paid for you can never be paid more than
6:43:21you're getting now until you do more
6:43:24than you're being paid now and you put
6:43:26yourself on the side of the Angels when
6:43:28you put in more and more than you're
6:43:30being paid for number 10
6:43:33is make a
6:43:36plan make a plan and make the plan over
6:43:41and
6:43:42over all successful men and women are
6:43:45successful planners and how do you make
6:43:47a plan simple a plan is a list of
6:43:51activities in other words you just
6:43:53identify from everything that we've
6:43:54talked about what are the activities
6:43:56that you have to engage in to achieve
6:43:58your goal and then you organize the list
6:44:01just like a ladder you organize the list
6:44:03in terms of
6:44:05priorities and in terms of time what you
6:44:07have to do first what do you have to do
6:44:09second what's more important what's less
6:44:12important and then you take action and
6:44:15get going on your plan and continually
6:44:17revise the plan number 11 is
6:44:21visualization visualization is worth all
6:44:25of the other 10 visualization is create
6:44:27a clear mental picture of the goal that
6:44:31you desire create a clear mental picture
6:44:34and then
6:44:36imagine or
6:44:39image the
6:44:41result get a clear mental picture and
6:44:44see your goal as already realized see it
6:44:47as a reality and play that picture over
6:44:49and over again on the screen of your
6:44:52mind play that picture on the screen of
6:44:54your mind until you can see it with
6:44:57perfect clarity design it draw it out do
6:44:59whatever is necessary in order to create
6:45:02that metal picture and then think about
6:45:04that mental picture think about your
6:45:05goal as a reality over and over again
6:45:08repeat it until you impress it deeper
6:45:10and deeper and deeper into your
6:45:11subconscious number 12 is back your plan
6:45:16with determination and persistence back
6:45:19your plan with determination and
6:45:21persistence in the final analysis the
6:45:24key to your success is your ability to
6:45:27hang in longer than anybody else in all
6:45:31the studies that we've looked at of when
6:45:33of Peak Performance we find that the
6:45:35quality of persistence is to the
6:45:37character of a man or woman as carbon is
6:45:40to Steel that persistence is only
6:45:43necessary when the going gets rough that
6:45:45persistence is only comes to the four
6:45:48when everything falls apart around you
6:45:50and you feel like quitting that
6:45:51persistence has no value at all when
6:45:53things are going well persistence only
6:45:55has value when you are willing to press
6:45:58on in the face of obstacles difficulties
6:46:03disappointments falling on your face
6:46:05losing your money and so on uh in the
6:46:08studies of self-made millionaires we
6:46:09find that the average self-made
6:46:10millionaire in America has been broke or
6:46:12nearly broke 3.2 times but irrespective
6:46:16of anything that they face male or
6:46:18female they kept on struggling and
6:46:20that's one of the reasons why they
6:46:21became successful we also know this by
6:46:23the way that in order for you to achieve
6:46:25great success you have no choice but to
6:46:28be willing to face temporary setbacks
6:46:31temporary defeats temporary obstacles
6:46:34Winston Churchill in one of the great
6:46:35stories of human history was asked in
6:46:39speaking to a boy school if he could
6:46:41summarize the lessons of his life in a
6:46:44few words and he stood up and he said I
6:46:46could summarize the major lesson of my
6:46:48life in seven words he said and he stood
6:46:50there leaning on his Cane and he said
6:46:52they are these words young man he said
6:46:55never give up
6:46:58never never give up and I think that
6:47:02more than anything else from every study
6:47:04I've read That's critical if you resolve
6:47:06in advance that once you have set off to
6:47:08achieve your goal that you will never
6:47:10give up that you will never quit that
6:47:12nothing can stop you that every single
6:47:15difficulty will just be a Spur to drive
6:47:17you on that you will become an inverse
6:47:19paranoid and you look into every problem
6:47:22and you look for the good in the problem
6:47:23you look for the lesson that you can
6:47:24learn you look for the way you can turn
6:47:26the situation to your advantage if you
6:47:28keep on doing that if you keep
6:47:30optimistic if you keep this attitude of
6:47:33confident expectation going you must you
6:47:37will be successful and finally with
6:47:38regard to persistence the iron quality
6:47:41that determines all your success let me
6:47:42just say this is that your persistence
6:47:46is your measure of your belief in
6:47:49yourself your persistence is your
6:47:52measure of your belief in yourself and
6:47:54every time you persist in the face of
6:47:56adversity your belief in yourself
6:47:59increases until it reaches the point
6:48:01where you become un stoppable on the
6:48:04road and on the pathway to your
6:48:15goals session 17 time management
6:48:19strategies at the beginning of the
6:48:20seminar we talked about mental laws and
6:48:22we talked about the law of control we
6:48:24said that you feel positive about
6:48:26yourself to the degree to which you feel
6:48:28you are in control of your life and you
6:48:30feel negative about yourself to the
6:48:31degree to which you feel you are not in
6:48:33control or the degree to which you feel
6:48:34you are controlled by external events
6:48:37now there's no place where this is more
6:48:38important as part of the discussion than
6:48:41in the subject of time management
6:48:43Charles Hobbs the time management
6:48:45specialist has come up with a great
6:48:46definition of time management he says
6:48:48time management is the control of the
6:48:51sequence of events that most of your
6:48:54stress in life comes from a feeling that
6:48:56you are out of control of the sequence
6:48:59of events now all successful people
6:49:02practice good time management skills all
6:49:05unsuccessful people do not period that
6:49:09each one of us has 24 hours a day you
6:49:11have 24 hours a day and I have 24 hours
6:49:13a day yet the top 20% of every
6:49:16graduating class the top 20% of every
6:49:19industry the top 20% of every social
6:49:22grouping accomplish and Achieve 80% of
6:49:25the rewards not because they have more
6:49:27Talent not because they have more skill
6:49:29not because they have more ability or
6:49:31intelligence or education or opportunity
6:49:33or anything else it's because they use
6:49:35their time better we've talked
6:49:37throughout this course about keys to
6:49:39success we said over and over again that
6:49:41one of the most important keys to
6:49:43success is
6:49:44self-discipline
6:49:46self-discipline and we know that none of
6:49:48us have enough self-discipline but
6:49:51self-discipline has a specific
6:49:53application it means self-mastery it
6:49:56means many things it means keeping your
6:49:58mind on what you want and off of what
6:50:00you don't want but it also means self
6:50:02control it means self-control in terms
6:50:05of time in terms of controlling the
6:50:08sequence of events if you cannot master
6:50:11your time then the seeds of greatness
6:50:14are not in you if you cannot master your
6:50:17time then it's not likely that you'll
6:50:19ever accomplish what you are capable of
6:50:21accomplishing in life in this session I
6:50:23want to give you seven keys to time
6:50:26management now I do entire one and two
6:50:28day time management programs I can speak
6:50:30for hours on time management without
6:50:32referring to to a note I have studied
6:50:34countless books I've listened to all the
6:50:35tapes I've been to the courses I'm going
6:50:37to give you seven keys if you will
6:50:39follow these seven keys until they
6:50:41become automatic you can double your
6:50:43time efficiency in almost no time at all
6:50:46so without further Ado let's go on but
6:50:49remember time management is essential we
6:50:51all have the same time the only question
6:50:53is what do we do with the time and in
6:50:56that and out of that comes the stuff of
6:50:59Life starting point of time management
6:51:02number one which I've been repeating
6:51:04over and over again is clear specific
6:51:07goals clear specific goals do you know
6:51:10how many people waste their time because
6:51:14they do not have clear specific goals
6:51:16they don't know what they're doing at
6:51:18least 80% of all time wastage or more is
6:51:23because people aren't sure of what
6:51:25they're supposed to be doing they're not
6:51:27sure of what they want to do and if they
6:51:28work for a company they're not sure of
6:51:30what the company wants them to do as a
6:51:31matter of fact the first thing do when I
6:51:32go into a company is I say what you have
6:51:35to do is you have to clearly Define the
6:51:37expectations of each person in each
6:51:38position and you know in most cases they
6:51:40are not sure how to do that clear
6:51:42specific goals if you work for a company
6:51:45if you work for a boss the first thing
6:51:46that you should do is go to your boss
6:51:48and ask your boss exactly what he
6:51:50expects you to do what are the most
6:51:52important things that you have been
6:51:54hired to accomplish clear specific goals
6:51:57defined in terms of outputs in terms of
6:52:02results what results do you want in fact
6:52:07when you set your goals you should
6:52:08always ask yourself what outcomes do you
6:52:11desire rather than goals ask yourself
6:52:14what outcomes now what do I mean by
6:52:16outcomes well here's a perfect example
6:52:18person says I want to be successful in
6:52:21my job what does that mean well what it
6:52:23means the outcome that they desire is
6:52:25they want interesting challenging work
6:52:27that pays well and sometimes we find
6:52:29ourselves working at a job where it's
6:52:31not interesting or challenging and we
6:52:32can't understand why we can't get any
6:52:34satisfaction out of it or a person says
6:52:36I want my relationship to work however
6:52:39what are they saying what they're saying
6:52:40is the outcome I desire is I want to be
6:52:43happy in my relationship and it doesn't
6:52:46matter who you're happy with if the
6:52:48outcome is clear that you want to be
6:52:49happy in a relationship that's very
6:52:51different from insisting upon being
6:52:53happy in this relationship another thing
6:52:56person say I want to be rich but you say
6:52:58what does rich mean what would Rich look
6:53:01like what would your out come be if you
6:53:03were Rich how much would it take to
6:53:05accomplish that outcome and then you
6:53:06start looking you say well if I had a
6:53:08certain amount of money I'd be able to
6:53:09do this I'd be able to do this I'd be
6:53:11able to do this and sometimes you find
6:53:13that it's possible to achieve that
6:53:15outcome without accomplishing that kind
6:53:17of financial acquisition sometimes you
6:53:20find you cannot achieve the outcome you
6:53:21desire in life from the work that you're
6:53:24in so be alert to outcomes CER specific
6:53:26goals written down step number two is
6:53:30clear written plans
6:53:32as we talked about before clear written
6:53:35plans and organize your plans if you
6:53:39like in a list of activities so that you
6:53:42know all the things that you have to do
6:53:44these two alone taking the time to plan
6:53:47they say every minute spent in planning
6:53:49will save you 5 to 15 minutes in
6:53:51execution and action without planning is
6:53:55the cause of almost every failure action
6:53:58without planning is the cause of almost
6:54:01every failure so clear written plans and
6:54:04clear list of activities to work on as
6:54:05we talked about in previous
6:54:07sessions step number
6:54:10three is make a
6:54:13list all successful time managers work
6:54:17from lists all unsuccessful people don't
6:54:21bother to write lists make a list for
6:54:24every day make a list for every week
6:54:27make a list for every month be a chronic
6:54:31list maker when you have a series of
6:54:33things to do the first thing you do is
6:54:34grab a piece of paper and write a list
6:54:36think on paper all good time managers
6:54:38think on paper they make a list of
6:54:40everything that has to be done they
6:54:41don't try to carry it around in their
6:54:43minds consolidate all of your thinking
6:54:45if you have to accomplish something
6:54:46write down every single thing that
6:54:47you're going to have to do in order to
6:54:48accomplish it and then begin working on
6:54:51your list call it a to-do list by the
6:54:54way the best time to make a daily list
6:54:56is the night before because if you make
6:54:57a list the night before the subconscious
6:54:59goes to work on it while you're asleep
6:55:01and in the morning sometimes the
6:55:02subconscious has organized it processed
6:55:05it and gives it back to you and solves
6:55:07problems for you while you're asleep
6:55:09step number four once you've made a list
6:55:11and this is the key to time management
6:55:13is set priorities you see there's never
6:55:15enough time to do everything if you're
6:55:17living A busy life but there's always
6:55:19enough time to do the important things
6:55:21if you can decide what they are setting
6:55:24priorities means using the 8020 rule the
6:55:278020 rule says that 80% of the value of
6:55:29what you do comes from 20% of what do if
6:55:33you have a list of 10 things to do that
6:55:35two of those things will be worth all
6:55:37the rest put together setting priorities
6:55:39means always looking at what is called
6:55:41the vital few versus the trivial many
6:55:45the vital few versus the trivial many
6:55:47the one or two things that you can do
6:55:49that make a real difference now most
6:55:51people waste their time not because
6:55:53they're not working hard or not because
6:55:54they're not busy is because they're
6:55:55working on the trivial many no matter
6:55:57how many of them they do it doesn't make
6:55:58any difference the truly successful
6:56:01people do few things they do the right
6:56:04things they do things one at a time and
6:56:06they stay with them until they're
6:56:08complete so set priorities a very simple
6:56:11time management system is what is called
6:56:12the ABCDE system the ABCDE is very
6:56:17simple a stands for top priority tasks
6:56:20number one must be done B is secondary
6:56:23priority tasks things that should be
6:56:25done C are not particularly important
6:56:27tasks which could be done if you have
6:56:29enough time after you've done your A's
6:56:31and B's and D is delegate and E is
6:56:34eliminate then what you do is you take
6:56:36and you list all of your a goals from
6:56:39your list and then you WR write A1 which
6:56:41is the most important of all and then
6:56:43you write A2 which is the second a goal
6:56:45and so on and then you begin to work and
6:56:48you work on your A1 and you never work
6:56:50on an A2 or a B of any order until your
6:56:52A1 is complete very simple now here's
6:56:55the key question for time management
6:56:57this can be worth a fortune to you it's
6:56:59been worth a fortune to me ask yourself
6:57:01over and over again repeat it and repeat
6:57:03it and repeat it until it rings in the
6:57:05back of your brain what is the most
6:57:07valuable use of my time right now what
6:57:10is the most valuable use of my time
6:57:13right now what is the most valuable use
6:57:16of my time right now every time before
6:57:18you start any new task ask yourself this
6:57:21question and then discipline yourself to
6:57:24do only what is the most valuable use of
6:57:27your time
6:57:28remember Benjamin Franklin had a
6:57:30beautiful line he said do you value life
6:57:34then waste not time for it is the stuff
6:57:37of which life is
6:57:38made if you are not working on the most
6:57:41valuable use of your time just exchange
6:57:44the word time for life and say what is
6:57:48the most valuable use of my life right
6:57:50now and remember if you are working on a
6:57:53second order priority you are relatively
6:57:56speaking wasting your time and wasting
6:58:00your life number
6:58:02five is
6:58:06concentration of power again a beautiful
6:58:09word from Charles
6:58:11Hobbs concentration of power means that
6:58:15you do first things first and second
6:58:18things not at all do first things
6:58:21first and stay with them until they're
6:58:24complete surprisingly enough in the
6:58:27studies of every effective man or woman
6:58:29whose lifestyle has been examined we
6:58:31find they are always doing first things
6:58:33first they do things one at a time and
6:58:36they stay with them until they are 100%
6:58:40complete they don't do a lot of things
6:58:44but they do the most important things
6:58:46they do them right and they carry them
6:58:48through to completion you know one of
6:58:50the most valuable attributes of
6:58:52executive life is the ability to carry a
6:58:55task through to completion so once it's
6:58:57been assigned to you the person who's
6:58:58assigned it to you never has to think
6:59:01about it again
6:59:03concentration and single handling single
6:59:05handling means once You' picked it up
6:59:07don't put it down most of our time
6:59:09wastage comes from picking up things and
6:59:11putting them down and starting them over
6:59:13and putting them down and starting them
6:59:14over and putting them down so
6:59:16concentrate single-mindedly 100% stay
6:59:19with it until it's finished as in my
6:59:22estimation the ability to concentrate is
6:59:25one of the most important abilities of
6:59:26success because no success is possible
6:59:29unless you can concentrate
6:59:30single-mindedly on your most important
6:59:32task number
6:59:34six number six is overcome
6:59:37procrastination overcome procrastination
6:59:40it's not the thief of time it's the
6:59:41thief of life and the way that you
6:59:43overcome procrastination is by using
6:59:45affirmations and the most powerful
6:59:47affirmation of all is do it now do it
6:59:51now W Clement Stone built a billion
6:59:53dollar Fortune by rehearsing and then
6:59:55getting everybody in his company to say
6:59:5750 times every morning do it now do it
7:00:01now do it now now do it now do it now
7:00:04drive that impress that into your mind
7:00:06when I first learned this simple
7:00:08technique I used to find myself
7:00:10procrastinating just like we all do but
7:00:12the more I repeated this do it now do it
7:00:14now do it now do it now do it now do it
7:00:16now the more you repeat it the more you
7:00:18find that eventually it works
7:00:20automatically and it has a tendency to
7:00:22drive you to start a task when your
7:00:24natural tendency is to put it off or
7:00:26procrastinate the most important quality
7:00:29that you can develop with regard to this
7:00:31is what is called a sense of urgency a
7:00:34sense of urgency means that you get on
7:00:36with it and you do the job fast we said
7:00:39earlier that time is your most precious
7:00:42resource time is the scarcest and most
7:00:44precious resource of accomplishment in
7:00:47our civilization and that people who
7:00:49have a sense of urgency are always the
7:00:52most valued people in our society
7:00:54develop what is called fast tempo fast
7:00:58tempo is essential to success fast tempo
7:01:02is essential to success what that means
7:01:06is that the harder and the faster you
7:01:08work the more energy you have the harder
7:01:10and the faster you work the more drive
7:01:13you have the more you get accomplished
7:01:15the more you get accomplished by the way
7:01:16the more tasks you conclude the more
7:01:19energy and self-esteem you have because
7:01:21every time you finish a task you get a
7:01:22jolt of positive energy every time you
7:01:25procrastinate on a task it tires you out
7:01:28and makes you depressed so whenever you
7:01:30find yourself procrastinating say to me
7:01:32say to yourself I have to develop a
7:01:34sense of urgency I have to develop a
7:01:35sense of urgency do it now do it now do
7:01:38it now and then work fast work fast work
7:01:41quick you will find that if you will
7:01:43just pick up your Tempo you can get to a
7:01:45Tempo that will enable you to go through
7:01:47more in two hours and the average person
7:01:49goes through in an entire
7:01:51day in a study done by h a Business
7:01:55Journal amongst 104 chief executive
7:01:58officers in of major American
7:02:00corporations not long ago they found a
7:02:02interesting thing they asked them what
7:02:03qualities would put a person most
7:02:05rapidly onto the fast track in their
7:02:07corporations they said the two most
7:02:09qualities 84% of them agreed the two
7:02:11most important qualities number one the
7:02:13ability to set priorities number two is
7:02:15a sense of urgency to get on with it and
7:02:17get the job done and number seven the
7:02:20seventh key to success is balance keep
7:02:23your life in Balance make sure that you
7:02:26take time every day to spend with the
7:02:28people who are close to you make sure
7:02:30that you take time every day to think
7:02:32through your values what is it that you
7:02:34really care about why are you doing what
7:02:36you're doing what is it that you believe
7:02:38in that is relevant and who are the
7:02:40people that you love who are the people
7:02:42that you care about and who care about
7:02:44you keep your life in Balance don't let
7:02:47it get all work don't let it get all
7:02:49play don't let it get all anything keep
7:02:51your life in Balance spend time with the
7:02:53people that you care about work hard
7:02:55when you work play hard when you play
7:02:58manage your time well control the
7:03:01sequence of EV and you can become
7:03:03anything that you want to
7:03:29become Brian Tracy
7:03:32[Music]
7:03:44Phoenix and in the next module I'm going
7:03:47to tell you why and how this
7:03:53works session 19 tapping your inner
7:03:56genius another reason that I can say
7:03:58with complete confidence that you are a
7:04:00genius is that you have access to a mind
7:04:03that is far greater than anything that
7:04:05you could ever devise or develop on your
7:04:07own throughout all of human history
7:04:09going back 4,000 years to the ancient
7:04:11Egyptian writings there has been
7:04:13discussion of mankind having access to a
7:04:16greater mind and this mind has been
7:04:17called things like the universal
7:04:19subconscious mind or the uh Collective
7:04:23unconscious or the superconscious
7:04:25Napoleon Hill calls it infinite
7:04:26intelligence Ralph Waldo Emerson says we
7:04:29lie in the lap of an immense
7:04:30intelligence like a cork floating in the
7:04:33ocean and that we have access to this
7:04:35intelligence at any time to bring us the
7:04:37answers we need and to solve the
7:04:38problems that face us Carl Young called
7:04:41it the superconscious mind the mind that
7:04:43is above other minds and we call it for
7:04:46the purposes of this talk we called the
7:04:49superconscious you have a superconscious
7:04:52mind which you use in a random and
7:04:54halfhazard way all the time as a matter
7:04:56of fact your superconscious mind is the
7:04:58source of all inspiration it's the
7:05:00source of motiv a it's the source of
7:05:03enthusiasm it's the source of excitement
7:05:05it's the source of hunches it's the
7:05:07source of insights it's the source of
7:05:08flashes of intuition it's a source of
7:05:11creativity and Innovation it's the
7:05:13source of all brand new ideas or
7:05:16thoughts or information that come into
7:05:18the world for instance Mozart was able
7:05:21to hear in a single second he was able
7:05:24to hear an entire concerto an entire
7:05:26Symphony would be come into his mind
7:05:28complete in one instant and all he would
7:05:31do was sit and transcribe it and write
7:05:33it out of his mind on the paper they
7:05:35said that he used to write his music
7:05:37note perfect the first time Beethoven
7:05:40came up with one of his great concerts
7:05:42or his great symphonies in a single
7:05:44instant although it took him six weeks
7:05:46to write it down the entire concert was
7:05:49perfect complete in his mind in a second
7:05:52many of the Great Inventions many of the
7:05:54great discoveries many of the Great
7:05:55breakthroughs in history in literature
7:05:58in art in music have been the result of
7:06:00a flash that is come in a moment of
7:06:03daydreaming while asleep while in the
7:06:05middle of a conversation and you have
7:06:07access to this mind as well let me tell
7:06:10you some of the characteristics of the
7:06:12superconscious Mind as I said imagine
7:06:14you have your intelligence which is your
7:06:16IQ your knowledge your experience your
7:06:17wisdom and so on but in addition to that
7:06:20you are a genius because you have access
7:06:22to this incredible mind that has every
7:06:25idea and every bit of intelligence ever
7:06:28known or available to the universe is
7:06:30available to you at virtually every
7:06:32instant of time the discovery of the
7:06:35superconscious and your understanding of
7:06:37the superconscious can and will change
7:06:40your life the superconscious mind or
7:06:42superconscious capacity makes your
7:06:44capacities unlimited you are no longer
7:06:47restricted to what you know what you can
7:06:50access what you can do physically and
7:06:51mentally you have an external source
7:06:53that you can draw on like an energy
7:06:55source to bring you answers to your
7:06:58questions and to move you towards your
7:06:59goals now one of the characteristics of
7:07:02the superconscious mind for instance
7:07:03that when it computes on a problem or a
7:07:06difficulty that you have it has access
7:07:08to all data stored in your subconscious
7:07:10mind it takes access to all data stored
7:07:13in the subconscious that means
7:07:14everything that you've ever learned in
7:07:16your life every bit of information
7:07:18you've ever read every experience you've
7:07:20had every conversation every movie
7:07:22television Radio Magazine it's all
7:07:24stored in your subconscious mind
7:07:26permanently as they say we have
7:07:28permanent memory but we have lousy
7:07:30recall every experence you've ever had
7:07:32in your life has been permanently stored
7:07:34however when the superconscious Mind
7:07:36calculates or computes it has access to
7:07:38everything you've ever learned however
7:07:40it can discriminate between valid and
7:07:43invalid data in other words when
7:07:46you when the superconscious mind
7:07:49computes on a problem that you are
7:07:50working with it will give you an answer
7:07:53that is based only on valid information
7:07:55there are many things that you have in
7:07:56your mind which you can think to be true
7:07:57but they're not true at all you may have
7:07:59read them you may have heard them you
7:08:00may have surmised them or concluded that
7:08:02a certain thing was true but the
7:08:04superconscious in bringing you an answer
7:08:06knows the difference between what is
7:08:08true and what is not true sometimes
7:08:10you'll come up with an idea or a
7:08:11solution that will seem to be
7:08:12inconsistent with what you thought was
7:08:14the truth or what you thought was
7:08:15reality but when you pursue it a little
7:08:17bit you'll find that what you thought
7:08:19was true was not true and your answer is
7:08:21correct now a second characteristic of
7:08:23the superconscious mind is it has access
7:08:25to data outside your experience it has
7:08:28access to data outside outside your
7:08:32experience that means that you can get
7:08:37answers outside your own experience you
7:08:40don't have to know everything or have
7:08:41everything in your mind that it has
7:08:43access to data it can bring you ideas
7:08:45information and insights for instance
7:08:47with regard to this we reckon in
7:08:50calculating that every single person has
7:08:53on the way to and from work about four
7:08:55ideas per year is the estimate done by
7:08:57one researcher four ideas per year any
7:09:00one of which could make you a
7:09:01millionaire you''ll be driving along how
7:09:03many times have you had the experience
7:09:04were you're driving along are you going
7:09:06about your day-to-day business and you
7:09:08see the need for a product or a service
7:09:10and you say now why doesn't somebody do
7:09:11that or why doesn't somebody make that
7:09:13or sell that and you say well must be a
7:09:16good reason and you forget all about it
7:09:17then a year or two later somebody comes
7:09:19out with that same product or service
7:09:21and makes a million dollars and you say
7:09:23I thought of that I thought of that a
7:09:25couple of years ago the difference was
7:09:27that the person who came up with the
7:09:28idea may have come up with it the same
7:09:30time you did maybe you tapped into this
7:09:31energy source simultaneously but that
7:09:34person had confidence or faith in their
7:09:37ideas and you did not there's a funny
7:09:40line from Groucho marks and grouo marks
7:09:41once said I would never join a club that
7:09:44would have a person like me for a member
7:09:46very often we turn down our own ideas
7:09:49because there are ideas we say that's my
7:09:51idea it can't be any good listen to the
7:09:54ideas that come to you on a day-to-day
7:09:56basis because very often if one of your
7:09:58goals is to Achieve Financial
7:09:59Independence this mind will send send
7:10:01you the ideas that you need to Achieve
7:10:03Financial Independence here's the third
7:10:06characteristic of the superconscious
7:10:07mind is it functions on a non-conscious
7:10:09basis 24 hours a day it functions 24
7:10:13hours per day when you are going about
7:10:15your normal business that means that
7:10:17once you have programmed a goal or a
7:10:21problem or a difficulty or any question
7:10:23at all into the superconscious by
7:10:25thinking about it dwelling upon it
7:10:27getting it clearly defined in your mind
7:10:29you can put it aside and go with the
7:10:31rest of your work and what will happen
7:10:33is that it will compute and compute and
7:10:36work and then it will bring you exactly
7:10:38the answer you need we'll come to that
7:10:40in a second in a second the
7:10:41superconscious Mind automatically and
7:10:44continuously solves every problem on the
7:10:46way to your goal automatically and
7:10:50continuously solves every
7:10:54problem put a line here solves every
7:10:58problem
7:11:01that's why you don't have to be able to
7:11:02see your
7:11:04goal you only have to take the first
7:11:07step and is you take each step and
7:11:10resolve the difficulty that is
7:11:11immediately facing you in the Bible this
7:11:13beautiful line that says this one thing
7:11:16I do forsaking all others if you just do
7:11:19one thing the superconscious will
7:11:22resolve the next and the next and the
7:11:24next you take them one step at a time
7:11:25like a hurdler takes one hurdle at a
7:11:27time like a journey is one step at a
7:11:29time the superconscious mind will
7:11:31automatically and continuously solve
7:11:33every problem on the path to your goal
7:11:35exactly as you meet it and exactly in
7:11:37the way you require now the fifth
7:11:39quality of the superconscious mind is
7:11:41that it is capable of goal oriented
7:11:46motivation sometimes people say well I'm
7:11:48not motivated and invariably when you
7:11:50talk to a person who is not motivated
7:11:52you find that there's nothing that they
7:11:54want very badly when you decide upon a
7:11:56goal or an objective something you want
7:11:58to be have or do the superconscious mind
7:12:01releases motivation it is the
7:12:03superconscious mind that gives you the
7:12:05energy and the enthusiasm and the
7:12:07excitement that moves you toward it but
7:12:09it pre requires a goal that you
7:12:12intensely desire that's why we talked so
7:12:14much about goals in this course goal
7:12:15oriented motivation it releases ideas
7:12:18and energy for goal
7:12:20attainment the superconscious mind is a
7:12:23source of what is called free energy in
7:12:27other words you can actually tap into
7:12:29this energy and when you're excited
7:12:31about a goal it doesn't matter how
7:12:32physically fatigued you are you seem to
7:12:34be able to tap into a source of energy
7:12:37outside yourself that can run you and
7:12:39Propel you sometimes day after day week
7:12:42after week on only a few hours sleep at
7:12:43night everybody's had the experience of
7:12:45being caught up and involved in
7:12:46something that's really important really
7:12:48exciting really driving requiring
7:12:50tremendous commitment and you just have
7:12:52energy flowing continuously Nicola Tesla
7:12:55the great electrical genius was actually
7:12:57able to tap this free energy to run the
7:12:59electric lights and the electric uh
7:13:02appliances in his home in a way that we
7:13:04still don't understand but in order for
7:13:06in order for goal oriented motivation to
7:13:09be released by The superconscious you
7:13:11must have
7:13:12clear specific goals this is the key the
7:13:16goals must be
7:13:18clear clear specific goals are what
7:13:21release this motivation there's an old
7:13:23saying which is a little bit trit it
7:13:25says feeling listless make a list what
7:13:28it means is if you're feeling listless
7:13:29and you make a list of 10 things that
7:13:31you want to accomplish in the next year
7:13:33you will find that just writing that
7:13:34list of 10 things will give you a jolt
7:13:36of energy almost like a Detonator going
7:13:38off now a sixth characteristic of the
7:13:40superconscious mind is that it responds
7:13:43to clear authoritative commands responds
7:13:46to
7:13:47clear authoritative commands now what
7:13:50are clear authoritative
7:13:52commands well one example of clear
7:13:54authoritative commands is positive
7:13:59affirmations whenever you use a positive
7:14:02affirmation whenever you say I earn X
7:14:04number of dollars I weigh X number of
7:14:06pounds I like myself I am responsible I
7:14:09feel terrific whenever you use these
7:14:11commands and you emotionalize the
7:14:13commands that's why they must be
7:14:14authoritative and they must be
7:14:16emotionalized you drive this message
7:14:19from the conscious into the subconscious
7:14:21and the subconscious accesses the
7:14:24superconscious so emotionalize your
7:14:27words use Clear authoritative commands
7:14:29and every time you use a clear
7:14:31authoritative command it drives the idea
7:14:34deeper it activates your superconscious
7:14:37abilities it also responds to
7:14:41decisiveness it's very
7:14:43interesting there's an expression which
7:14:45I like to share with you and it's simply
7:14:47this it is get
7:14:50serious I have met men and women all
7:14:53over the country over the last few years
7:14:55and I noticed there's an interesting
7:14:56thing that successful people say when I
7:14:58ask them how did you come to become so
7:15:01successful I mean what was the turning
7:15:02point where where did it change you know
7:15:04the words they use over and over again
7:15:05are these they say well I finally
7:15:06decided to get serious I finally decided
7:15:09to get serious you see we talked earlier
7:15:11about desire and decision that there's a
7:15:13lot of people have desires a lot of
7:15:14people want things and they want to be
7:15:16things and they want things to change
7:15:17for them they want things to be better
7:15:19but they never make the decision to do
7:15:21something they are going to make the
7:15:22decision and they hope to make the
7:15:24decision and they plan to make the
7:15:25decision but they just haven't quite
7:15:27gotten around to it yet and an important
7:15:29part of this is commitment I can put
7:15:32this down here is that nothing great in
7:15:34life happens until you make a commitment
7:15:37and a commitment means you decide to do
7:15:39one thing to the exclusion of almost
7:15:42everything else you get serious you make
7:15:44a total commitment and when you take
7:15:46that make that total commitment when you
7:15:48become decisive when you start using
7:15:50clear positive words I will do it I do
7:15:53do it I can I shall I choose I want I
7:15:56earn I am when you start using commands
7:15:59like this you trigger the superconscious
7:16:01mind and sometimes more can happen for
7:16:02you in a matter of a few weeks than it's
7:16:04happened for you in a few years and many
7:16:06of you know exactly what I'm talking
7:16:07about numers number seven the
7:16:10superconscious mind in a way is like a
7:16:12muscle it
7:16:14grows in
7:16:18capability as it is used and believed
7:16:24in it grows in capability as it is used
7:16:27and believed in that means that you can
7:16:29actually get it to the point as I have
7:16:31in my own life as many of my graduates
7:16:33have you can get it to the point where
7:16:35you're plugged into this superconscious
7:16:37mind continuously and you just go with
7:16:39the flow of life that all the things
7:16:41that you require the answers that you
7:16:43need the solutions the people the
7:16:45circumstances will be drawn into your
7:16:47life in exactly the order exactly the
7:16:49sequence that you require and the people
7:16:51that you don't need the circumstances
7:16:52that are old the circumstan have nothing
7:16:54to do with where you're going they fall
7:16:56off as exactly as they are no longer
7:16:58needed and the more you use it the more
7:17:01you believe in it the more you trust to
7:17:02it the more rapidly and dependably and
7:17:05predictably it works now let me tell you
7:17:07this in all my studying of the
7:17:09biographies and autobiographies of great
7:17:11men and women I found one thing is that
7:17:13you only begin to become great as a
7:17:16human being to the degree to which you
7:17:19tap into and go with the flow of this
7:17:22superconscious energy other than that
7:17:24life is always a struggle but once you
7:17:26get into the flow of this energy life
7:17:29seems to be on the downhill side you
7:17:31seem to be going with the current a an
7:17:34eighth characteristic is that the
7:17:35superconscious Mind functions best or
7:17:38operates best with an attitude of
7:17:40confident expectations operates best
7:17:44with an
7:17:45attitude of confident
7:17:49expectations you see confident
7:17:51expectations is an attitude of positive
7:17:53emotion when we talked about before
7:17:56becoming an inverse paranoid always
7:17:58looking for the good always expecting
7:18:00the best always believing trusting being
7:18:02absolutely convinced that something good
7:18:03is going to come out of everything that
7:18:05happens to you this attitude of
7:18:06confident expectation seems to be what
7:18:09puts your the foot on the accelerator of
7:18:11the superconscious mind and bring things
7:18:13brings things into your life and people
7:18:15and what you need into your life faster
7:18:17and faster and
7:18:19faster another characteristic of the
7:18:21superconscious mind uh number nine is
7:18:25that it operates best under two
7:18:27conditions
7:18:30operates
7:18:33best under two
7:18:37conditions uh condition number one is
7:18:40when you are concentrating 100% of your
7:18:44time and attention on the problem 100%
7:18:47concentration on the
7:18:52problem and the other time when it works
7:18:55best is when you are concentrating 0%
7:18:58when your mind is busy elsewhere
7:19:06those are the two things but somehow the
7:19:08superc conscious mind does not function
7:19:10in
7:19:11between so the key or the solution to
7:19:14activating the superconscious mind is to
7:19:16try consciously to solve the problem now
7:19:19here is a very simple way to do it you
7:19:21start to solve the problem by number one
7:19:23defining clearly what it is Define your
7:19:25problem or Define your goal write it
7:19:27down discuss it get it very clear in
7:19:29your mind what is it that you're trying
7:19:31to achieve avoid or preserve number two
7:19:35is do some research gather information
7:19:38look around read talk to people go to
7:19:41the library call people who know call
7:19:43experts or Authorities on the subject
7:19:46get as much information as you possibly
7:19:47can almost all good decision- making
7:19:50comes from getting information I've had
7:19:51experiences where I have had a clearly
7:19:53defined problem or situation and as I'm
7:19:56thinking about I say where can I get
7:19:57some information and bang the name of a
7:19:59person you may not have spoken to for a
7:20:00year will pop into your mind you pick up
7:20:03the telephone you call them up and you
7:20:04say hi I'm thinking of doing this or not
7:20:07doing this what do you think about that
7:20:09and they have exactly the piece of
7:20:11information that you need to do it or
7:20:13not do it be very very alert to that the
7:20:16third thing that you do is you try
7:20:17consciously to solve the problem now
7:20:19that You' got the information you asked
7:20:21questions you've done the reading and
7:20:22the research you've got clear in your
7:20:23mind you try as hard as you possibly can
7:20:26with your conscious mind to solve the
7:20:27problem and if that doesn't work then
7:20:29you simply turn it over to the
7:20:31superconscious Mind almost as though you
7:20:33are submitting it to a large computer
7:20:35turn it over to the superconscious mind
7:20:37and get your mind busy elsewhere get
7:20:39your mind busy doing something else and
7:20:41just get on with something else
7:20:43completely for instance we'll talk about
7:20:45this you could work on another project
7:20:47go for a walk do physical exercise go
7:20:49out for dinner get your mind busy
7:20:51elsewhere and at exactly the right time
7:20:53what will happen is that the answer will
7:20:55come to you it'll just suddenly be there
7:20:59which brings us to another
7:21:00characteristic of the
7:21:01superconscious and it is this is that
7:21:03the superconscious mind and this is
7:21:05number 10 the superconscious Mind brings
7:21:08you exactly the answer you require at
7:21:11exactly the right time for you brings
7:21:14you exactly the answer you require at
7:21:17exactly the right
7:21:19time now one important point with regard
7:21:22to superconscious creativity is that
7:21:25when you get this answer at exactly the
7:21:27right time you must act immediately a
7:21:30super conscious answer is time
7:21:33dated that
7:21:37means that it may if you get the answer
7:21:40on Thursday at noon at 12:00 the answer
7:21:43may not be valid at 9:00 on Thursday it
7:21:45may not be valid at 3:00 on Thursday so
7:21:48when you get the answer when it comes
7:21:49into your mind that this is what you
7:21:51should do and you'll feel a very very
7:21:52strong feeling of rightness about a
7:21:55superconscious solution act immediately
7:21:57sometime you'd be working on a problem
7:21:59have you ever had this situation you
7:22:00work on a problem and and you get this
7:22:02feeling you should phone somebody and
7:22:03you say I should phone so and so but
7:22:05I'll do it later and you do it later the
7:22:08next day or the next week and you call
7:22:09them up and they say I wish you'd phone
7:22:12me last week because I had exactly the
7:22:14answer you needed or I had the person or
7:22:16I had the situation or I had the job for
7:22:18you and so on so when you get this I
7:22:20know a man who built a billion- dooll
7:22:22business and he built a billion doll
7:22:23business by fully understanding what
7:22:25we're talking about here and doing just
7:22:27one thing very limited business Acumen
7:22:30but always followed his superconscious
7:22:32instincts whatever he felt was the right
7:22:34thing to do at any instant he acted
7:22:36immediately he immediately took action
7:22:39and his action orientation was enough
7:22:42for him to open doors of opportunity to
7:22:44get feedback and information to
7:22:46self-correct to draw to himself the
7:22:48people that he needed to um maximize the
7:22:50opportunities and so on and he went from
7:22:52selling cars to a billion dollar
7:22:54business in less than 10 years simply by
7:22:56following his superconscious intuition
7:22:59and following it Contin ously now
7:23:01another characteristic of the
7:23:02superconscious
7:23:03mind is that it will um bring you the
7:23:08experiences you need to be successful it
7:23:11brings
7:23:12you the experiences you need to be
7:23:15successful this is one of the most
7:23:17incredible things I've ever found in my
7:23:19life brings you the experiences you you
7:23:22need to be successful and it'll bring
7:23:25you a whole
7:23:28bunch of a different experiences now
7:23:31imagine that this is you here all right
7:23:34and let's say that you decide that you
7:23:36want to increase your income by 50% a
7:23:39year for the next 5 years let us say
7:23:41over the course of your lifetime you
7:23:42decide you want to become financially
7:23:44independent well now you normally if
7:23:45you're working at a job or in a field
7:23:48your line of sight as they say is that
7:23:50you will somehow find a way to do it in
7:23:53your existing field within your existing
7:23:55experience and knowledge however once
7:23:56you have set this clear goal in your
7:23:59mind once you had this idea of what your
7:24:01goal or your star is as you start off
7:24:04you'll often find that your life will go
7:24:06into a almost like a crazy obstacle
7:24:09course it'll seem to go through a whole
7:24:11series of of convolutions over and over
7:24:14and very often you will find a year two
7:24:16years 5 years you will find your goal in
7:24:19a totally different place doing
7:24:21something totally different something
7:24:22you never expected in studying self-made
7:24:25millionaires in America we find that
7:24:26almost half of them made their fortunes
7:24:29doing something totally different from
7:24:30what they started off doing is as they
7:24:32moved down the road of Life they found
7:24:34there was an insurmountable obstacle or
7:24:37barrier in that direction the market
7:24:40collapsed the technology changed the
7:24:42interest rates went up it didn't matter
7:24:43what it was and they found that they had
7:24:45to change course and change direction
7:24:47and they had to go over a hurdle now
7:24:48imagine that you're running a race and
7:24:50you have to go over a hurdle and each
7:24:51one of these hurdles big hurdles and
7:24:53small hurdles when you look back on it
7:24:56and look back on anything that you've
7:24:58ever accomplished that's required a
7:24:59tremendous amount of of time and effort
7:25:01and as you look back you will say you
7:25:03will see that a whole series of
7:25:06different things happen to you that
7:25:08looked like setbacks at the time but in
7:25:11retrospect you say wasn't it good that
7:25:12that happened cuz if that hadn't
7:25:14happened then this wouldn't have
7:25:15happened and this wouldn't happened that
7:25:16wouldn't have happened and so on and
7:25:18you'll find that your whole life is a
7:25:20series of remarkable coincidences that
7:25:23initially look like difficulties or
7:25:25setbacks but in retrospect they
7:25:27contained within them valuable lessons
7:25:29that you needed to learn
7:25:30in order to achieve the goals that
7:25:32you've achieved perfect example in
7:25:34relationships when we start going out
7:25:36with members of the opposite sex and
7:25:37we're growing up we have a lot of
7:25:39relationships that don't work out trial
7:25:41and error we experiment we learn what
7:25:43it's like to get along with other people
7:25:44and not to get along and we think at the
7:25:46time that relationships are not working
7:25:47out that this is a terrible situation
7:25:49it's very emotionally stressful but then
7:25:51when we finally find a relationship
7:25:53that's right for us we look back and we
7:25:54say boy wasn't it good that we had all
7:25:57those difficult problems because if we
7:25:58hadn't we'd have never reached the point
7:26:00where I am now which is being in the
7:26:02relationship that you wanted I think the
7:26:04way they say it is you have to kiss a
7:26:05lot of horny toads before you meet the
7:26:06handsome prince uh or princess so each
7:26:10time we go over one of these lessons we
7:26:12learn a valuable each time we go over
7:26:14one of these hurdles we learn a valuable
7:26:15lesson now let me tell you this too is
7:26:18that very often your greatest success
7:26:20comes just before or just after I'm
7:26:23sorry your greatest failure in Napoleon
7:26:26Hill's study of over 500 successful men
7:26:29and women he found that almost every one
7:26:31of them had faced their greatest failure
7:26:34the point where they felt they should
7:26:35have quit there was no point in going on
7:26:37everybody else told them it was
7:26:39ridiculous at that point they persisted
7:26:41a little bit further and Wham they made
7:26:44the greatest success you notice Thomas
7:26:46Edison one of the greatest inventors of
7:26:47the century was broke or nearly broke
7:26:50many times Henry Ford went bankrupt
7:26:52almost three times uh in the course of
7:26:54building his fortune many of the most
7:26:56successful men and women have fallen on
7:26:58their faces over and over over and over
7:27:01again until they have finally arrived
7:27:04where they wanted to arrive now what
7:27:05does this mean it means that you have to
7:27:08adopt the attitude that every single
7:27:11time you run into a roadblock every
7:27:13single time you fall down every single
7:27:15time you lose some money you lose some
7:27:17emotion you lose some time as a result
7:27:20of a temporary setback you have to
7:27:22believe that this has been sent to you
7:27:24as a valuable experience that is moving
7:27:26you toward accomplishing your good and
7:27:29here is a very very simple technique
7:27:31that you can use and I call it the movie
7:27:34technique all right now imagine that you
7:27:37go to the movie and you get there and
7:27:40you're very it's very very late all
7:27:43right and you get in and they let you
7:27:45get in even though it's toward the end
7:27:46of the picture and the new picture is
7:27:47going to be starting in a little while
7:27:49and you go in and you watch the last 10
7:27:51minutes so we call this the last 10
7:27:53minute technique all right you watch the
7:27:56last 10
7:27:58minutes you see how the movie ends you
7:28:01see how everything comes together you
7:28:03see how the hero advances you see how
7:28:06everybody achieves you see how it all
7:28:07falls together and everybody ends up
7:28:09happy and so on now having seen the last
7:28:1210 minutes you then sit through the
7:28:14whole movie however now you sit through
7:28:16the whole movie and you see the uh the
7:28:18danger the drama uh the tragedy the
7:28:20unhappiness you see the
7:28:21misunderstandings and so on however you
7:28:23see as you watch the movie You Know How
7:28:26It Ends you know that there's a happy
7:28:28ending cuz you've seen the last 10
7:28:30minutes now this is the critical
7:28:31attitude as you look at the difficulties
7:28:33that you face on a day-to-day basis have
7:28:36this attitude that these are just what
7:28:38happens but in the last 10 minutes
7:28:40everything comes out right and you
7:28:41achieve your goal so take a look and
7:28:43take this philosophic attitude toward
7:28:45every difficulty as this is this is part
7:28:47of the movie but I know that in the last
7:28:4910 minutes it's all result just pretend
7:28:51that you already know the end of the
7:28:53picture and that pretending will make
7:28:56the movie come out exactly as you desire
7:28:59and probably better for for you number
7:29:0112 the superconscious Mind makes all
7:29:04your words and actions makes your words
7:29:08what you say and your
7:29:11actions and their effects and this is
7:29:14the critical word and their
7:29:17effects in other
7:29:19words the result of your words and
7:29:22actions fit a pattern
7:29:24consistent with your self-concept and
7:29:27your dominant goals fit a pattern
7:29:29consistent
7:29:33with your
7:29:35self-concept and your dominant
7:29:38goals what does that mean that means
7:29:41that the subconscious mind which is a
7:29:44mechanical part of your thinking makes
7:29:46your words and actions fit a pattern
7:29:47consistent with your self-concept if you
7:29:49feel good about yourself your words and
7:29:51actions will be consistent with that if
7:29:52you feel negative or tired or fatigued
7:29:54your words and actions will be
7:29:55consistent with that however the
7:29:57superconscious Mind once you have
7:29:58planted it with a very clear goal or set
7:30:00of instructions will make your words and
7:30:02actions and the effect of those words
7:30:04and actions conspire together to bring
7:30:06you toward your goal you've all had
7:30:08experiences where in the middle of a
7:30:09conversation you will something will
7:30:11just pop out of your mouth and you'll
7:30:13just say it and you never thought to say
7:30:14it and it will turn out to be exactly
7:30:17the right thing to say in that situation
7:30:19it may be in a in in a date with a
7:30:22member of the opposite sex it may be in
7:30:23a business medum maybe on a sales call
7:30:26but you'll find that you'll just
7:30:27naturally say exactly the thing or the
7:30:30words that are appropriate for the
7:30:31situation and you'll find that if you
7:30:33just trust to this and you have this
7:30:35feeling that you should say something or
7:30:37let me tell you this also every so often
7:30:39you'll be in a conversation where you're
7:30:40planning to say something you're
7:30:41planning to bring out a particular Point
7:30:43you're planning to make a particular
7:30:44presentation but something inside you
7:30:46will be saying no it'll be blocking it
7:30:48or the other person will keep saying
7:30:50things that stop you from making this
7:30:51what you do then is a superconscious
7:30:53Mind Is Telling You don't say this
7:30:54because it's not consistent with your
7:30:56ultimate aims and desires so whenever
7:30:58you feel that you're you're not sure
7:31:00whether or not you should say something
7:31:01or bring something up the best rule is
7:31:04don't do it at all just hold off and
7:31:06you'll find out it was the best thing to
7:31:08do now there's two words by the way that
7:31:11which are very popular today one is
7:31:13called Serendipity
7:31:15Serendipity is the process of making
7:31:18happy
7:31:19discoveries it's found that there are
7:31:21certain people who have the capacity to
7:31:24always find the things they need the
7:31:26people they need they find the book they
7:31:28need the the particular spice they need
7:31:30the particular piece of cloth or
7:31:31furniture and so on but they're always
7:31:34stumbling across the things that they
7:31:36need and there this is called
7:31:38Serendipity or serendipitous Behavior
7:31:40the interesting point is when we've
7:31:42discovered people when we when we we've
7:31:44studied people who have this
7:31:45serendipitous uh capacity we find that
7:31:48the discoveries that they make are all
7:31:49consistent with goals that they have set
7:31:51in other words you only find things when
7:31:53you're looking for things that people
7:31:55don't make happy discoveries unless they
7:31:57are looking for something to contribute
7:31:59toward their goal their goals and
7:32:00there's another word called
7:32:01synchronicity and
7:32:03synchronicity is the process or The
7:32:06Coincidence of
7:32:09events where two or three things that
7:32:13are totally unrelated happen
7:32:15simultaneously and we call this
7:32:17synchronicity or or synchronizing of
7:32:19events and the interesting and only
7:32:22factor in synchronicity is that all
7:32:24three of the events conspire together to
7:32:26help you achieve your goal now there's
7:32:28some interesting work done on
7:32:29synchronicity it says that there is a
7:32:31higher order or a higher organization of
7:32:35events where events are organized on the
7:32:37basis of meaning and the meaning that
7:32:40they have the significance that they
7:32:42have is defined by you and what your
7:32:45goals are so very often you'll get a
7:32:47phone call read a book hear about an
7:32:49article and visit a person and all of
7:32:51those simultaneously will come together
7:32:53to bring you what you're after be very
7:32:56alert to these two Happening Now number
7:32:5813 is the superconscious ious mind
7:33:00contains all monitor
7:33:02circuits contains all monitor circuits
7:33:04that means that you can pre-program the
7:33:06superconscious mind and it will work for
7:33:09you two ways that people pre-program the
7:33:12superconscious mind all the time is
7:33:13parking spaces many people find that by
7:33:17confidently expecting there to be a
7:33:18parking space wherever they're going
7:33:19there always is that you can pre-program
7:33:21your mind sometimes 10 out of 10 20 out
7:33:24of 20 to get a parking space even on a
7:33:26busy street even in a busy shopping
7:33:28center and if if you get there and
7:33:30they're all full you'll find that
7:33:31somebody is holding your space and they
7:33:33back out just as you arrive just as you
7:33:36pull up you'll find that their tail
7:33:37lights will go on and they'll back up
7:33:39not one car earlier not one car later
7:33:41but exactly where you are I thousands of
7:33:44people come back to me and say that
7:33:45after learning this they get parking
7:33:47spaces wherever they want the key is you
7:33:49must believe that it works if you don't
7:33:50believe that it works it doesn't work
7:33:51for you the second is uh waking up there
7:33:54are many people who wake
7:33:57up with no uh alarm clock many people
7:34:00don't need alarm clock at all I haven't
7:34:02used an alarm clock for years why you
7:34:04can just program your mind to wake up
7:34:05almost to the minute any given time all
7:34:07you have to do is do this three times
7:34:09you'll develop the habit for life and by
7:34:10the way this is something the alarm
7:34:11clock industry keeps quite secret mind
7:34:14you because nobody needs an alarm clock
7:34:16you can wake up at any time you can wake
7:34:17up with 3 hours sleep or with 13 hour
7:34:19sleep you can wake up in pitch black
7:34:21darkness you can sleep for 20 minutes or
7:34:232 hours just simply by programming your
7:34:25mind you can also program your mind to
7:34:28remember to do something remember not to
7:34:30do something uh and so on and I'll tell
7:34:33you this so that you can write it down
7:34:34it's what we call the law of
7:34:36superconscious activity the law of
7:34:39superconscious activity and it is this
7:34:42is that because of the power of the
7:34:44superconscious Mind any thought plan
7:34:48goal or idea that you can hold in your
7:34:51mind your conscious mind on a continuing
7:34:54basis must be brought into reality by
7:34:57your superconscious mind and any thought
7:35:00plan goal or idea that you hold
7:35:03continuously in your conscious mind and
7:35:05that you intensely desire or intensely
7:35:08fear must be brought into reality by
7:35:11your superconscious mind whether
7:35:14positive or negative good or bad for you
7:35:17if you can hold it continuously if you
7:35:19can emotionalize it if you can visualize
7:35:21it in your conscious mind the
7:35:23superconscious mind will begin to
7:35:25organize the entire universe of
7:35:27experience around you to draw into your
7:35:30life the people and circumstances
7:35:32necessary to make that idea come true
7:35:35what we've been saying throughout this
7:35:36entire program is that your thoughts are
7:35:39extremely powerful that your thoughts
7:35:41objectify themselves that your thoughts
7:35:44become your reality and it is this
7:35:47understanding of this superconscious
7:35:48capability that makes it a fact that
7:35:51your thoughts do become your reality so
7:35:54keep your mind on what you want keep it
7:35:56off of what you don't want think
7:35:58continuously think nonstop think all the
7:36:01time only about what it is that you want
7:36:04and keep your mind completely off of the
7:36:06things that you don't want the reason
7:36:07why so many people are unsuccessful and
7:36:09unhappy today is because they think
7:36:10continuously about the things that they
7:36:12don't want the reason that a very few
7:36:14people the elite are successful happy
7:36:18prosperous growing and so on is because
7:36:20they keep their mind on what they desire
7:36:22and the Bible it says the rich get
7:36:24richer and the poor get poor or it says
7:36:26I'm sorry in the Bible it says from him
7:36:29who has
7:36:30even that which she has shall be taken
7:36:31away but to him who ha even more shall
7:36:33be given the rich get richer and the
7:36:35poor get poor what do the rich think
7:36:36about what do the rich dwell upon what
7:36:38do the rich concentrate on what do the
7:36:40rich attract to themselves what is the
7:36:41law of correspondence with regard to the
7:36:43rich it is the rich are always thinking
7:36:45of production affluence money wealth and
7:36:47so on what do the poor think about all
7:36:49the time yes the poor think about
7:36:51poverty lock La lack loss limitation
7:36:55your health how little money they have
7:36:57and whatever you think about on a
7:36:58continuing basis you draw into your life
7:37:01and you make into your reality because
7:37:03of this superconscious capability no
7:37:05matter how big your goals are no matter
7:37:07how far away they are if you can hold
7:37:09them in your mind on a continuing basis
7:37:11you can make them your reality well how
7:37:14do you activate the superconscious Mind
7:37:16here is the most powerful of all we call
7:37:18this the ma Master method of activation
7:37:20it is called
7:37:23Solitude you activate the superconscious
7:37:25mind with Solitude now how do you use
7:37:28solitude
7:37:30we call this go into the silence go and
7:37:33sit down
7:37:34quietly by yourself for 30 to 60 Minutes
7:37:3930 to 60 Minutes most people in our
7:37:41society have never sat quietly for 30 to
7:37:4360 Minutes in their entire lives yet I
7:37:46will tell you this this method works
7:37:48100% of the time that any problem that
7:37:50you have any difficulty any challenge
7:37:52any goal that you want to accomplish if
7:37:54you'll go into the silence and sit
7:37:56quietly and then listen to the still
7:37:59Small Voice Within listen to The Still
7:38:02Small Voice
7:38:04Within the still Small Voice Within this
7:38:08is the
7:38:09key you will find that at a certain
7:38:12point probably at about 25 to 30 minutes
7:38:15your mind will go completely clear and
7:38:18then a flow of ideas will start to flow
7:38:20into your mind you'll feel energy
7:38:21welling up inside you and at a precise
7:38:24moment as you sit there in complete
7:38:25silence no cigarettes no coffee no music
7:38:28nothing just complete silence
7:38:29at a particular moment your mind will go
7:38:32clear and Wham exactly the answer you
7:38:35need will come at exactly the right time
7:38:37and if you will get up and go and carry
7:38:39out that answer it will turn out to be
7:38:42exactly perfect there's a lot of things
7:38:44that you can do to stimulate the
7:38:45superconscious Mind aside from Solitude
7:38:48visualization affirmation daydreaming
7:38:51relaxing classical music natural
7:38:53environments meditation tape affirmation
7:38:56all activate the superconscious mind now
7:38:59there's three sources of a
7:39:00superconscious solution three critical
7:39:03sources number one is intuition it'll
7:39:06come from inside you get a very very
7:39:08strong feeling that this is the answer
7:39:10number two
7:39:12is um chance encounters you will meet
7:39:15people or you will meet books
7:39:18information material ideas that will
7:39:21give you the critical answers that you
7:39:22require and number three is unexpected
7:39:25events unexpected events things will
7:39:28happen that are totally unexpected
7:39:30either within your life or in your
7:39:32external environment and if you look
7:39:34into them very closely you find that
7:39:35very often they contain exactly the
7:39:37answer exactly the Insight that you're
7:39:39looking for so be very alert to
7:39:41intuition be very alert to chance
7:39:43encounters be very alert to unexpected
7:39:45events now how do you tell a
7:39:47superconscious solution this is this is
7:39:49how you tell it number one is that when
7:39:51the answer comes it will be 100%
7:39:55complete it will answer every aspect of
7:39:58the problem it will be that's it that's
7:40:01the answer it'll be so clear and it will
7:40:03be
7:40:05simple this is a wonderful thing it'll
7:40:07be very very simple number two it'll be
7:40:09a blinding flash of the obvious you'll
7:40:11say to yourself why didn't I think of
7:40:14that why didn't I think of that that's
7:40:15so obvious it's so logical a blinding
7:40:19flash of the obvious now one
7:40:23other one other key is the emotional
7:40:26component is that when you get a
7:40:28superconscious solution that means
7:40:30exactly the right answer for you it is
7:40:32always accompanied by a burst of
7:40:35joy and energy your self-esteem goes up
7:40:39you feel positive you feel happy you
7:40:42have what is called a feeling of
7:40:45elation you feel great that you say wow
7:40:49this is perfect this is the answer you
7:40:51get so excited sometimes you have to run
7:40:52and go to the bathroom but you want to
7:40:54call and tell somebody you want to do
7:40:55something you a superconscious solution
7:40:57always comes with the energy necessary
7:41:00to implement it for instance if you get
7:41:02a superconscious solution just as you're
7:41:04going to sleep or in the middle of the
7:41:05night you will wake up with your heart
7:41:07pounding and your mind racing and your
7:41:09and and your uh your blood streaming and
7:41:11you won't be able to get back to sleep
7:41:13again so let me conclude by saying this
7:41:15again the law of superconscious activity
7:41:18the most important single law that
7:41:20determines your destiny and everything
7:41:21that you do and everything that you'll
7:41:23ever accomplish is that any thought any
7:41:26plan any goal any idea that you can hold
7:41:30continuously in your
7:41:32mind must be brought into reality by the
7:41:35superconscious this is the reason for
7:41:37the greatness of every man and woman who
7:41:39ever lived every great leader writer
7:41:41author poet or business person and you
7:41:44can tap into this at will simply by
7:41:47defining with Crystal Clarity exactly
7:41:49what it is you want and then thinking
7:41:52only about what you want keeping your
7:41:55mind only on what you desire and keep it
7:41:58off of everything else until it comes
7:42:00into your
7:42:12reality session 20 creative problem
7:42:15solving techniques remember when we
7:42:17talked about that survey that was done
7:42:19where they checked the IQ of a thousand
7:42:21people at random and they found the
7:42:22difference in IQ between the least
7:42:24intelligent and the most intelligent was
7:42:26only 2 and a half times and we talked
7:42:28about regard to income how people
7:42:30earning $250,000 a year are not 10 times
7:42:33Smarter Than People earning $25,000 a
7:42:36year well this subject has fascinated me
7:42:38for years and I've put together courses
7:42:39which I've taught to Major Fortune 500
7:42:43Executives and administrators and I've
7:42:45come up with some really interesting
7:42:46ideas with regard to intelligence and IQ
7:42:48and I'd like to just sort of impress
7:42:50upon you one thought which is this is
7:42:52that intelligence is a way of acting
7:42:55intelligence is not a matter of IQ it's
7:42:58not a matter of education it's not a
7:43:00matter of background contacts grades or
7:43:02anything else there are many extremely
7:43:04intelligent people who can't make a
7:43:05living there are many people with
7:43:07extended University degrees who are
7:43:08unemployed but there are also people who
7:43:11didn't finish High School who are
7:43:12running major corporations because
7:43:14intelligence is a way of acting what I
7:43:17found was that if you study the way
7:43:20intelligent people which by which I mean
7:43:22people who can get the results they want
7:43:25act and you act or you use your mind the
7:43:28way they use their mind you will
7:43:30actually start to function with the same
7:43:32level of intelligence that they function
7:43:33at irrespective of your IQ or anything
7:43:36else so let's start off with this basic
7:43:38sentence intelligence is a way of acting
7:43:42in other words if you act intelligently
7:43:45then you are intelligent if you do not
7:43:47act intelligently then you are not
7:43:49intelligent irrespective of how smart
7:43:52you are or how well educated you are
7:43:55with regard to this one of the studies
7:43:56that I conducted a couple of years ago
7:43:58was looking at some research on Geniuses
7:44:01what are the characteristics of geniuses
7:44:03people who perform by the Judgment of
7:44:06their peers at exceptional levels of
7:44:08intelligence people who were over 140 IQ
7:44:11and going up right to 150 160 170 180
7:44:14and so on and I found that there are
7:44:15four keys to genius and all four of
7:44:18these keys are learnable behaviors if
7:44:20you learn the Four Keys you can function
7:44:23at a level of intelligence that is
7:44:25double your level today so what are the
7:44:27Four Keys number one key to genius is
7:44:31Clarity Clarity is absolutely essential
7:44:35as a matter of fact I find over and over
7:44:36again the reason people fail in life is
7:44:38because they don't know what they want
7:44:39they're unclear about where they're
7:44:41going their goals are vague their values
7:44:43are vague their their their Alternatives
7:44:45and their options are kind of fuzzy
7:44:47whereas all successful people have
7:44:49tremendous Clarity imagine that you have
7:44:51a camera and every single time you bring
7:44:53your camera into Focus so that the
7:44:55subject is perfectly clear you're on the
7:44:58beam that means every single time
7:45:00somebody asks you or you think about
7:45:01your goals your goals should be
7:45:04particularly clear that's what we've
7:45:05talked about write them down clearly
7:45:07describe them make them time bounded
7:45:09make them measurable make them specific
7:45:12use vivid language to accomplish them
7:45:13because the more clear your goals are
7:45:15the sharper your mind is in
7:45:17accomplishing or achieving those goals
7:45:19another thing that you have to be clear
7:45:20about is what are your problems remember
7:45:22we said identifying the obstacles that
7:45:24stand between you and your goals and
7:45:26finding out what are the big obstacles
7:45:27what are the small obstacles and being
7:45:29crystal clear in medicine what do you do
7:45:31in medicine in medicine you just simply
7:45:33go through a process of diagnosis until
7:45:35you find specifically the problem that's
7:45:37causing the ailment and the more clear
7:45:39you are about the problem the easier the
7:45:41solution is the pro people who are
7:45:43unhappy and unsuccessful today are not
7:45:45people who are not intelligent or not
7:45:46capable but they're very fuzzy about
7:45:48their goals and they're equally fuzzy
7:45:50about their problems and finally more
7:45:51important than anything else is your
7:45:54outcomes this requires more
7:45:57thought than either of the other two
7:46:00what is the outcome you desire where do
7:46:03you want to be at the end of this
7:46:05process in other words what will it look
7:46:06like what will it feel like not the
7:46:08process of getting there but what is the
7:46:11outcome that you're after and the focus
7:46:13on outcomes is often a superior Focus
7:46:16than that of focusing on goals because
7:46:18believe it or not sometimes your goals
7:46:19may be wrong sometimes the problems may
7:46:21not be the right problems but if you
7:46:22know what the outcome is if you know
7:46:24what you want it to look like if you
7:46:25know that you want a 3500t home that's
7:46:28modern has all the amenities and has a
7:46:30study for yourself and a family room for
7:46:31the children and double garage and so on
7:46:33if that's the outcome you desire then
7:46:35the neighborhood that you live in the
7:46:37terms upon which you get the house
7:46:39rental lease purchase and so on those
7:46:40can take care of themselves long as
7:46:42you're clear about the outcome so the
7:46:43second key to functioning as a genius is
7:46:48concentration concentration all Geniuses
7:46:51all highly intelligent people are people
7:46:54who have the ability to concentrate 100%
7:46:57on one thing at a time and concentrate
7:46:59on the most important thing all non-
7:47:01Geniuses all people of limited
7:47:03intelligence are people who try to do a
7:47:05whole lot of different things they're
7:47:06all focused on a whole lot of different
7:47:08things and because they can't bring
7:47:10their intelligence to bear like a fist
7:47:12on a single problem they never seem to
7:47:14get anything really resolved so the
7:47:17ability to concentrate and we talked
7:47:19about that in time management making a
7:47:20list of all your goals or all the
7:47:22problems stand in your way picking the
7:47:24one or two that are the most important
7:47:26picking number one and then going to
7:47:28work on number one and staying with it
7:47:29single-mindedly till it's finished
7:47:31absolute key to genius because the more
7:47:33you concentrate like a laser beam the
7:47:35more you concentrate the more of your
7:47:37intelligence is directed like that beam
7:47:40that particle beam more of your
7:47:42intelligence is directed on blasting the
7:47:44problem out of the way or moving you
7:47:46towards your goal now the third quality
7:47:48of Genius which you can develop is the
7:47:50ability to keep an open
7:47:52mind you see we find that people who are
7:47:54very intelligent tend to be open-minded
7:47:57in that they are willing to look at a
7:47:59variety of different approaches they're
7:48:01willing to stand back from the situation
7:48:03they're willing to ask a lot of
7:48:05questions they willing to ask questions
7:48:07like why and questions like why not and
7:48:10questions like what are our assumptions
7:48:12we're having this problem what are our
7:48:14assumption could it be that our
7:48:15assumptions are wrong what if our
7:48:16assumptions were wrong you know that
7:48:18that that that errant assumptions lie at
7:48:21the root root of most failures I some as
7:48:24some shouldn't what are your
7:48:27assumptions we find when I go in and do
7:48:30research or or or Consulting for large
7:48:32companies or even small companies you
7:48:33find that wherever they're having
7:48:34problem in the market there's an
7:48:35assumption is wrong assumption is wrong
7:48:37with regard to the product with regard
7:48:38to the service with regard to the
7:48:39competition with regard to the customer
7:48:41or so on so what are your assumptions
7:48:43keep an open mind and look at a whole
7:48:45variety of different ways of approaching
7:48:48whatever problem it is another good
7:48:50question to ask is what else might be
7:48:52the problem we think this is a problem
7:48:54what if something else is the problem
7:48:55completely different from what we're
7:48:57looking at so keep an open mind mind be
7:48:59flexible be fluid willing to be willing
7:49:01to look at a variety of different
7:49:02approaches and then the fourth
7:49:05characteristic of all Geniuses
7:49:06surprisingly enough is that they have a
7:49:07systematic method they or they have
7:49:10systematic methodology if you like or
7:49:12systematic methods of problem solving
7:49:16they just don't run off half now
7:49:18finally once a genius has gone through a
7:49:20series of systematic methods very often
7:49:22as a result of this process of
7:49:23concentration they just dro the the
7:49:26subject out of their mind and at a
7:49:28certain point the superconscious will
7:49:29give them the answer that they're
7:49:30looking for but prior to that they go
7:49:32through systematic methods if you like
7:49:34of organized
7:49:36thinking now most people don't do this
7:49:39what they do is they throw themselves at
7:49:41a problem the same way a dog throws
7:49:43itself at a car going past and they go
7:49:46ruu and they chase after the dog or they
7:49:48throw themselves after a blanket like a
7:49:50puppy does and they tear the blanket
7:49:53round and round and they throw it away
7:49:55intelligent people approach every
7:49:57problem logically
7:49:59systematically organized fashion so
7:50:02let's talk about three methods of
7:50:04creative thinking that you can use to
7:50:07like a particle beam Smasher that you
7:50:10can use to smash through about 90 95% of
7:50:14any problem that you'll ever face any
7:50:16obstacle anything that stands in your
7:50:17way and the first is what I call mind
7:50:20storming now mind storming is a very
7:50:23simple technique it was developed many
7:50:25many years ago it can be done by
7:50:27yourself or can be done with other
7:50:29people more people have become wealthy
7:50:32and successful using this technique than
7:50:34any other technique I've ever seen I've
7:50:36used this myself for years and it is
7:50:39absolutely devastating in how rapidly
7:50:42you can come up with great solutions to
7:50:44even the most complex problems mind
7:50:46storming is often called the 20 idea
7:50:49method the only thing that's necessary
7:50:52to use this 20 idea method is a piece of
7:50:55paper a pen and disci
7:50:59why is it that people don't use this
7:51:00method more often a they don't know it B
7:51:03they're not disciplined enough to use it
7:51:05but if you use this on a systematic
7:51:06basis you will be astonished at the
7:51:09results from the very first time well
7:51:10the 20 idea method simply says this take
7:51:12a sheet of
7:51:14paper best time to do this is first
7:51:16thing in the morning and write your
7:51:18major goal or objective at the top of
7:51:23the page in the form of a question let
7:51:25us say that you want to increase your
7:51:27income from $30,000 to $45,000 over the
7:51:30next 12 months so what you do is you
7:51:32might write at the top of the page what
7:51:34can I do to earn
7:51:36$45,000 over the next 12 months that
7:51:39would be the question or let us say it's
7:51:40a time management question what can I do
7:51:42to get two more hours of productive time
7:51:44every day or let's say it's a health
7:51:46question what can I do to lose pounds a
7:51:48month until I get down to my ideal
7:51:50weight you put that at the top of the
7:51:52page in the form of a question and then
7:51:54you force yourself to write 20 different
7:51:57answers you just keep forcing yourself
7:51:59to write 20 different answers now the
7:52:01first three to five answers that you'll
7:52:03come up with are pretty easy the next
7:52:05three to five are more difficult the
7:52:07last 10 will be like squeezing blood
7:52:09from a stone because your mind if you
7:52:11haven't been using it on a regular basis
7:52:13will be very slow to respond to this
7:52:16demand just like a muscle if you went
7:52:17into a weight room and began to pump
7:52:20iron your muscles would respond very
7:52:22very slowly but after a week a month two
7:52:253 months you could go in and you could
7:52:26work out all afternoon so put it at the
7:52:28top of the page and generate 20 answers
7:52:30and then at the end of this pick one
7:52:33answer and implement it immediately just
7:52:35simple as that if you'll do this this
7:52:37technique is so astonishingly powerful
7:52:39it's amazing you will come up with ideas
7:52:42out of your mind that absolutely
7:52:43astonish you things will come out on the
7:52:45paper underneath your pen that you never
7:52:47believed were in your brain I have given
7:52:49this exercise to many groups of
7:52:50Executives and I found they've come up
7:52:52to me and said you know sometimes it's
7:52:54the 20th answer that's worth all the
7:52:56other 19 put together people come up to
7:52:58me and said that 20th answer by forcing
7:53:00yourself to write 20 answers that 20th
7:53:02answer sometimes is the answer they've
7:53:04been looking for for 6 months so using
7:53:06this exercise then take one and apply it
7:53:08immediately why it's because that locks
7:53:10into the subconscious and the
7:53:12superconscious that you are serious
7:53:14about this process well if you were to
7:53:15do this 5 days a week every morning
7:53:17before you start off and you were to
7:53:19generate 20 ideas every single morning
7:53:21before you start off and you were to do
7:53:23this times 50 weeks a year taking two
7:53:26weeks off for uh holidays and taking
7:53:28weekends off where you don't have to
7:53:29think at all you would end up with about
7:53:325,000 ideas per year if you were to take
7:53:35one idea per year or one idea per day
7:53:38times 5 days per week
7:53:42times yes times 50 weeks per year it
7:53:45would equal 250 ideas perom that you
7:53:49would be applying in your life in a
7:53:51world where the average person doesn't
7:53:53use one do you think if you use this
7:53:55method on a systematic basis it would
7:53:57change your result do you think if you
7:53:59use this method of creative thinking on
7:54:01a regular basis you would start to see
7:54:03some progress or some changes the
7:54:05interesting thing is that if you use
7:54:06this method every day now I I must tell
7:54:08you quite honestly personally I cannot
7:54:10use this method for more than three days
7:54:12in a row and the reason is that by the
7:54:15third day I am coming up with so many
7:54:17ideas that I do not have enough time in
7:54:19the day to implement all the ideas and
7:54:22they are good ideas they are sound ideas
7:54:24they are practical ideas in many cases
7:54:26they are superconscious solutions that
7:54:28pour out onto the page they are insights
7:54:31that are worth sometimes hundreds
7:54:33sometimes thousands and I've had ideas
7:54:35that have been worth tens of thousands
7:54:36even hundreds of thousands of dollars I
7:54:38do Consulting for corporations
7:54:40occasionally I'll come up with an idea
7:54:41when I'm doing a Consulting assignment
7:54:43for corporations with this exercise that
7:54:45will be worth hundreds of thousands of
7:54:46dollars to them because it will be a
7:54:48unique distillation of a series of
7:54:51factors that suddenly crystallize like a
7:54:53flash bulb catches the photograph with
7:54:55all the details it'll suddenly
7:54:57crystallize in a superconscious this way
7:54:58and bang there will be the idea so I
7:55:01strongly urge you to use this method
7:55:02starting today take any goal any problem
7:55:05any difficulty write it in the form of a
7:55:07question and try it once and you will be
7:55:09astonished how effectively it works as a
7:55:12matter of fact I've come had many people
7:55:13come back hundreds of people come back
7:55:14from my seminars and say that idea
7:55:16changed their whole career changed their
7:55:18whole business changed their whole
7:55:19family life changed many many aspects of
7:55:22their life all right now the second
7:55:23method that I want to teach you is a
7:55:24method that you can use by yourself but
7:55:26you can also use it with groups you can
7:55:28also use it as a sort of a form of group
7:55:30problem solving and it's a systematic
7:55:32method part of which was was developed
7:55:34at Harvard University and part of which
7:55:36was developed by a series of other
7:55:37creative thinkers and in think tanks and
7:55:39which I've combined into one method this
7:55:42method is absolutely amazing it's like
7:55:45firing a Canon at tissue paper I have
7:55:47never seen a problem that cannot be
7:55:49dealt with with this simple method all
7:55:51right it's got about nine steps step
7:55:53number one starting point is confident
7:55:57expectations
7:55:59confident expectations seems to open up
7:56:02the Mind relax the right brain activate
7:56:07the superconscious and seems to tune you
7:56:10in to solving a problem or difficulty at
7:56:13a higher level so confident expectations
7:56:16are very simple assume a logical
7:56:18solution whenever you're faced with any
7:56:20kind of difficulty assume a logical
7:56:23workable solution say to yourself well
7:56:26there's a logical workable solution here
7:56:28no problem as it says what do they what
7:56:30does the Australians say uh no worry
7:56:32mate just say the same thing no worry
7:56:34mate no problem there's got to be a
7:56:36solution here somewhere this attitude of
7:56:38confident expectation seems to open up
7:56:41the creative mind and make it work far
7:56:44far better step number two in order to
7:56:47keep your mind positive and optimistic
7:56:49use positive
7:56:51language use positive language now what
7:56:55do we mean by that well there are
7:56:57certain words in the English language or
7:56:59any language that can raise or lower
7:57:01blood temperature that cause us to be
7:57:02anxious or fearful or happy or related
7:57:04so word usage is important using the
7:57:08proper words is important for instance
7:57:10the word problem the word problem is a
7:57:12negative word it has negative
7:57:14connotations it causes us to become
7:57:16stressful and anxious and tense it
7:57:18causes our minds to actually shut down
7:57:20instead use the word situation situation
7:57:23wonderfully enough is a neutral word
7:57:25it's neither positive or negative a
7:57:27problem is something you struggle with a
7:57:28situation is something you deal with
7:57:31right problem equals struggle setback
7:57:34cost difficulty
7:57:37disappointment but a situation is just
7:57:40something you deal with and when you
7:57:41suddenly start describing things as
7:57:43situations well we have an interesting
7:57:44situation here the car has been stolen
7:57:46well this is an interesting situation
7:57:48our house has burned down well this is
7:57:49an interesting situation that triggers
7:57:52your mind into dealing with it rather
7:57:53than being overcome by it now a better
7:57:56word of course is challenge and many
7:57:58many companies and many individuals now
7:58:00only use the word challenge because it's
7:58:02positive a challenge is something that
7:58:04you rise to a challenge is something
7:58:06positive that you woo that you rise
7:58:09to so instead of calling it a problem
7:58:11call it a challenge hey we have an
7:58:12interesting challenge here or we facing
7:58:14some interesting challenges this year or
7:58:16it looks like we're going to have
7:58:17challenges that we didn't expect this
7:58:19year or we've come up with a pretty big
7:58:20challenge but a challenge described as a
7:58:23challenge is something that brings out
7:58:25the best in you your mind starts to race
7:58:27to think you can deal with it and best
7:58:29of all is the word
7:58:30opportunity the word
7:58:33opportunity is a very positive word the
7:58:35word opportunity is something that you
7:58:37take advantage of now the interesting
7:58:39thing is that in all of our research we
7:58:41find that within every setback or
7:58:44difficulty within every problem within
7:58:46every situation or challenge there is a
7:58:48hidden opportunity there is something
7:58:50that you can learn there's something
7:58:52that you can gain there's an advantage
7:58:53there's a benefit there is something and
7:58:55we know because of the law of
7:58:56substitution that if we are looking for
7:58:58the opportunity in any situation we
7:59:01cannot at the same time think about what
7:59:04would cause us to become stressed and
7:59:05anxious you cannot think of it as a
7:59:07problem and as an opportunity at the
7:59:09same time the one thought the positive
7:59:11thought knocks out the negative thought
7:59:12so when we look at successful people we
7:59:14find the successful people are those who
7:59:16keep their minds on what they want and
7:59:18they look for the opportunity they look
7:59:19for the challenge they look for the
7:59:21positive part of any setback or
7:59:23difficulty remember we talked about the
7:59:24superconscious mind is it setbacks and
7:59:27difficulties very often come to us to
7:59:29tell us to change course or direction to
7:59:31get onto the right track to get to where
7:59:33we're going so instead of becoming
7:59:34frustrated or upset let's look upon it
7:59:36as a great possibility and look into it
7:59:39for the advantage or benefit now the
7:59:41third step in dealing with any situation
7:59:44or challenge is to Define it clearly
7:59:48Define it
7:59:50clearly now I use this method by the way
7:59:52all the time I just simply take any goal
7:59:54or difficulty that I have and I run it
7:59:56through this whole thing and I run down
7:59:59and I just go through the analysis and I
8:00:00always come out at the end with a
8:00:01solution Define it clearly think on
8:00:04paper do it in writing think on paper
8:00:07all successful people think on paper
8:00:10unsuccessful people don't think on paper
8:00:12why don't unsuccessful people think on
8:00:13paper because they're too lazy to think
8:00:16on paper think on paper write it down
8:00:19say what is it that I'm worried about
8:00:20what is the difficulty what is the
8:00:22situation and Define it clearly remember
8:00:25we said before a Hallmark of Genius is
8:00:27clarity
8:00:28a Hallmark of failure is fuzziness
8:00:31number
8:00:32four is ask yourself what are all the
8:00:35possible causes what are all the
8:00:38possible causes the natural tendency in
8:00:41our impatient Society is for us to if we
8:00:44get to the point of defining the
8:00:46difficulty or the challenge is to LEAP
8:00:48to a conclusion and say let's do this
8:00:50instead what a doctor does for instance
8:00:52is a doctor steps back and says all
8:00:54right you have this pain you have this
8:00:57difficulty you have this ailment that's
8:00:58being manifested in these symptoms now
8:01:00let's look at what all the possible
8:01:02causes may be what do you eat what do
8:01:05you drink what is your lifestyle like
8:01:06what sort of stresses exist in your life
8:01:08and so on sometimes you'll find that 50%
8:01:11of all of your difficulties can be
8:01:13resolved by defining them clearly
8:01:16another 25% of your difficulties can be
8:01:18resolved by determining the causes
8:01:21sometimes if you can determine what the
8:01:22causes are then you say well if that's
8:01:24the cause then you eliminate the cause
8:01:26the situation is resolved the fifth step
8:01:29if at this if you have not resolved it
8:01:30at step three or step four the next step
8:01:33is you say what are all the possible
8:01:36solutions what are all the possible
8:01:39solutions now not just the logical
8:01:41Solutions but go P beyond that if you
8:01:45come up with a solution very quickly
8:01:48that seems like the logical solution
8:01:50then ask yourself what if that didn't
8:01:52work then what else would we do the
8:01:54Roger Von Oak says always look for what
8:01:56is called the second right answer
8:01:58once you have one right answer and you
8:02:00say well this looks like the answer to
8:02:02this difficulty ask yourself what is the
8:02:04second right answer very very good
8:02:06exercise because if the first solution
8:02:08doesn't work you've already got a second
8:02:09solution already developed so you ask
8:02:11what are all the possible solutions what
8:02:13is the solution what's the opposite of
8:02:15the solution what if we just did nothing
8:02:17what if we did it twice as hard what if
8:02:19we tried something else completely what
8:02:21if we used lateral thinking instead of
8:02:22trying to dig this hole deeper we went
8:02:24and dug another hole what if we got out
8:02:26of this Market completely what if we got
8:02:27out of this this job or this
8:02:28relationship completely rather than
8:02:30trying to solve the job or the
8:02:31relationship what if we went somebody
8:02:33somewhere else and started over what
8:02:35would be the second right answer now
8:02:37here's a critical point from this point
8:02:39onward once you've gotten to number five
8:02:43think and talk only about the solutions
8:02:46think and talk only about the solutions
8:02:51you see because of the law of
8:02:52concentration because of the law of
8:02:54substitution because of the Law of
8:02:56Attraction what happens
8:02:58well I'll tell you what happens most
8:03:00people talk about the problems all the
8:03:01time they think about the problems they
8:03:03worry about the problems they vividly
8:03:04imagine the problems they discuss the
8:03:06problems and they have more and more and
8:03:07more problems the law of substitution
8:03:09says if you think and talk about the
8:03:10problems that's your mind is going to
8:03:12become preoccupied with negativity The
8:03:14Law of Attraction says you think and
8:03:15talk about the problems you're going to
8:03:16attract more problems into your life the
8:03:18law of Correspondence says that the more
8:03:20you think and talk about problems the
8:03:21more they preoccupy your mind the more
8:03:23your external world is going to be
8:03:24characterized by problems the difference
8:03:26between winners and losers
8:03:29Heroes and non-h heroes successes and
8:03:31failures is this is that successful
8:03:34people winners are solution oriented
8:03:37they are solution oriented they think
8:03:39about the solutions they talk about the
8:03:41solutions they're always asking this
8:03:43question here is the big question what
8:03:46what do we do from here what can we do
8:03:51from here in other words they are always
8:03:54future oriented always oriented toward
8:03:57the future losers are always oriented
8:04:00toward the past losers always want to
8:04:02know who did it who's to blame who's
8:04:05responsible how do we cut our losses the
8:04:08winner always looks forward and says
8:04:09Where Do We Go From Here what do we do
8:04:11from here what's the solution from here
8:04:13how can we improve this situation how
8:04:15can we adjust adapt modify and so on
8:04:18once you get here the next step is
8:04:20pretty simple number six is make a
8:04:22decision make a decision now any
8:04:25decision is better than no decision 80%
8:04:28of all difficulties should be resolved
8:04:30and the decision should be made at this
8:04:32step at this at exactly the time that
8:04:35they come up in other words whenever you
8:04:37have a difficulty now is the time to
8:04:38make 80% of your decisions indecision by
8:04:41the way indecisiveness is a major reason
8:04:43for failure indecisive people don't
8:04:45succeed in life being decisive is more
8:04:47important than being correct because the
8:04:49more decisions that you make the more
8:04:51feedback you get the smarter you become
8:04:53the more accurate your decisions become
8:04:55the fewer decisions you make the less
8:04:57feedback you get the less learning takes
8:04:59place the more poor the poorer a
8:05:02decision maker you become so make a
8:05:03decision remember 80% should be made
8:05:05right now and the others can be made
8:05:07simply by saying all right I can't make
8:05:09the decision now I need more information
8:05:12I'll set a deadline Thursday at noon
8:05:13I'll make the decision no matter what
8:05:15information I have number seven by the
8:05:17way this is a great tension reliever
8:05:19great tension relievers make decision
8:05:21indecisiveness is a major source of
8:05:22stress number seven is assign
8:05:25responsibility
8:05:28assign responsibility in other words ask
8:05:30yourself this
8:05:31question this is the big question who is
8:05:35going to do
8:05:36it who is going to do it very often
8:05:39people will go through this exercise
8:05:41they'll make the decision they'll be
8:05:42happy they'll be elated distress and
8:05:44difficulty is gone and then they all go
8:05:46back to work and they come back to a
8:05:47meeting two weeks later and nothing has
8:05:48been done because nobody has been
8:05:50assigned specific and that's probably
8:05:52the word assign specific responsibility
8:05:55who is going to do what exactly and that
8:05:57brings us to number eight set a
8:06:00deadline say I want this done by such
8:06:03and such a day well let's agree that
8:06:05it's going to be done by such and such a
8:06:08day Thursday 12:00 noon we will review
8:06:10it again and of course once you set a
8:06:12deadline number nine is take action
8:06:16launch do you know an interesting time
8:06:19management study I read recently says
8:06:21that
8:06:2220% of the work the first 20% usually
8:06:26accounts for 80%
8:06:28of the value of the job if you can
8:06:30launch it they say well be well begun is
8:06:33half done and number 10 is inspect what
8:06:37you
8:06:38expect inspect what you expect one of
8:06:41the most important rules of success in
8:06:44life is once you have made an agreement
8:06:46that something is going to be done
8:06:47inspect it check on it control it
8:06:49monitor it keep in touch uh I have a
8:06:52good friend that says that delegation is
8:06:55essential but not abdication make a
8:06:57decision once you have assigned somebody
8:06:59you've asked somebody to do it keep in
8:07:01touch with them if it's important enough
8:07:03for you to have it done by that deadline
8:07:05it's important enough for you to follow
8:07:07up and check all right there's one final
8:07:10method of creative thinking which you
8:07:13can use with your husband or wife with
8:07:15your co-workers with your friends with
8:07:17your Associates one of the most powerful
8:07:19methods ever developed first written
8:07:21about by Alex Osborne in his book
8:07:23applied imagination in 1946 and it's
8:07:25called brainstorming now
8:07:29brainstorming is terrific I won't write
8:07:31it all out on the board but I'll just
8:07:33give you the description of what you
8:07:34have to do to be a good brainstormer
8:07:37number one the very best group for
8:07:39brainstorming is four to seven people uh
8:07:42below four you're not getting the the
8:07:44potential Synergy and above seven the
8:07:46group starts to get a bit unwieldy so
8:07:48four to seven people sitting together in
8:07:50a Spirit of
8:07:52Harmony step number two is to clearly
8:07:55Define the question and the more simple
8:07:58and precise the question and the more
8:08:00concrete the answers that you're looking
8:08:02for the better the brainstorming
8:08:04Exercise Works for instance you could
8:08:05say in a sales organization you wouldn't
8:08:08say what can we do to increase sales
8:08:10because the qu the question is very
8:08:12vague it's fuzzy remember Clarity what
8:08:14we would say is what can we do to
8:08:15increase our sales by 20% over the next
8:08:1890 days then everybody can bring their
8:08:21minds to bear on the question now the
8:08:23third step with regard to brainstorming
8:08:26is time the the best period for
8:08:28brainstorming is between 15 and 45
8:08:30minutes 30 is ideal so what you do is
8:08:33you say we're going to brainstorm this
8:08:34question what can we do to increase our
8:08:36sales by 20% over the next 90 days and
8:08:39we're going to do it from 4:15 to
8:08:42445 next step is idea generation now
8:08:45this is really critical instead of
8:08:48generating ideas and then evaluating
8:08:50them what you do is this and this is
8:08:51what Osborne found he said what blocks
8:08:53brainstorming is that you have the idea
8:08:56generation process and somebody comes up
8:08:57with an idea and somebody say ah that
8:08:58wouldn't work that's stupid that's
8:08:59ridiculous we tried that once before and
8:09:02as soon as somebody says anything
8:09:03critical about an idea everybody just
8:09:05shuts up and so you sit there and
8:09:07everybody becomes a little bit hesitant
8:09:08why it's because when you criticize an
8:09:10idea you trigger the deep down fear of
8:09:12rejection that goes back to Early
8:09:13Childhood so what you do is you divide
8:09:15you have idea
8:09:17evaluation this section and idea
8:09:20generation separated by a wall of time
8:09:23so that you put time between the two and
8:09:26here you go for quantity of ideas so in
8:09:29a 30 minute session say 30 minutes you
8:09:32say let's see how many ideas we can
8:09:34generate focused on how we can increase
8:09:37our sales by 20% over the next 90 days
8:09:40and over here you can take more time and
8:09:43here you do here you go for
8:09:47Quality now what is the role of the
8:09:49leader in a brainstorming session the
8:09:51leader is not to dominate The Leader is
8:09:54to stimulate a good business person by
8:09:57by the way will bring their staff or
8:09:59their Associates in on a regular basis
8:10:01to stimulate them into brainstorming at
8:10:03least once per week but don't dominate
8:10:05the
8:10:06conversation record all
8:10:10answers record all answers very often
8:10:13somebody will come up with an answer in
8:10:15a brainstorming session which will be a
8:10:17superconscious solution the
8:10:19superconscious solution may be so
8:10:21excellent that even the person who came
8:10:22up with it and the people at the
8:10:23brainstorming session are not aware that
8:10:25it is a brilliant breakthrough but when
8:10:26you take the ideas and evaluate them
8:10:28later or somebody else looks at the
8:10:30ideas they may say that's what we're
8:10:31looking for this is exactly right so
8:10:34with regard to creative thinking
8:10:36remember this let let me repeat that
8:10:38intelligence is a way of acting that you
8:10:40can function at at least twice the
8:10:42intelligence you're currently using by
8:10:44doing what Geniuses do be clear about
8:10:47what you want concentrate
8:10:48single-mindedly on the goal the problem
8:10:51the situation or the outcome you desire
8:10:54keep an open mind be flexible and look
8:10:56at all Poss
8:10:57abilities and then use systematic
8:11:01methods of problem solving like we've
8:11:02discussed try any one of these methods
8:11:05use them on a regular and systematic
8:11:07basis and I can guarantee you you will
8:11:09be astonished at how smart you really
8:11:13are this is the end of side two please
8:11:16fast forward the tape to the end to
8:11:18queue up side one for your next
8:11:19listening
8:11:29[Music]
8:11:41ran Tracy
8:11:44presenta
8:11:46[Music]
8:11:56pH session 24 developing a success
8:11:59personality the great steel magnet
8:12:01Andrew Carnegie who accumulated a
8:12:03Fortune of over 500 million dollars at
8:12:05the beginning of this Century starting
8:12:07as a penniless immigrant once said that
8:12:09I will pay more for the ability to get
8:12:12along with others than for any other
8:12:14single skill and today in our society
8:12:17your ability to get along with other
8:12:18people your social intelligence is the
8:12:21most valuable most precious single asset
8:12:23that you have not only in terms of your
8:12:24career not only in terms of your
8:12:26marriage and your relationship
8:12:27but in terms of your own mental
8:12:29well-being in this session we're going
8:12:30to talk about developing a success
8:12:33personality we're going to talk about
8:12:35developing the quintessence of mental
8:12:37health which is a positive personality a
8:12:40positive mental attitude the kind of
8:12:42person that everybody likes to be around
8:12:44the kind of person who is welcome
8:12:45everywhere we said very early in this
8:12:48seminar that 85% of everything that you
8:12:51ever accomplish in life will be as a
8:12:53direct result of how well you get along
8:12:55with other people that today even the
8:12:57biggest companies in America are hiring
8:13:00on the basis of personality and attitude
8:13:03rather than on the basis of grades
8:13:05proficiency skills and experience why
8:13:07it's because if the person has the right
8:13:10personality skills they can learn
8:13:11anything else they need in order to be
8:13:13successful but if the person has all the
8:13:15skills in the world and a lousy
8:13:16personality there's no way that they can
8:13:18take the responsibility of changing it
8:13:20so 85% of our happiness in life
8:13:23according to the research comes from
8:13:25Happy involvement with other people
8:13:28also 85% of all of our problems in life
8:13:32come from unhappy involvement with other
8:13:34people the other 15% in case you're
8:13:36interested comes from
8:13:38Achievement so it is possible for us to
8:13:41get a certain amount of satisfaction in
8:13:42life from Achievement From Success from
8:13:45making money building businesses and
8:13:47careers and so on but most of our
8:13:49happiness is going to come from our
8:13:51relationships so in this session we're
8:13:52going to show you how you can
8:13:54dramatically improve the quality of your
8:13:56relationships doing some very very
8:13:58simple
8:13:59things we know with regard to your
8:14:01relationships that there is a direct
8:14:03relationship between how well you get
8:14:04along with other people and the health
8:14:06of your personality in fact everybody
8:14:08wants to have a more healthy personality
8:14:10so let's look at how you measure healthy
8:14:12personality what are some of the simple
8:14:13measures we've talked about several of
8:14:15them in the course of this seminar
8:14:17number one measure of healthy
8:14:18personality of course is how much you
8:14:21like
8:14:22yourself how much you like yourself is
8:14:26the core
8:14:28of your personality people who like
8:14:30themselves a lot have very healthy
8:14:31personalities number two measure of
8:14:34healthy personality is how much
8:14:36responsibility you accept people who
8:14:39accept a lot of responsibility for
8:14:41themselves who look upon themselves as
8:14:43being the key agents in their lives
8:14:44people who refuse to blame other people
8:14:46have very healthy
8:14:48personalities another example of healthy
8:14:51personality is how easily you
8:14:52forgive one of the things we know is a
8:14:55direct relationship one to one
8:14:57relationship between how freely you
8:14:59forgive and forget when somebody hurts
8:15:01you and how healthy your personality is
8:15:03number four measure of healthy
8:15:05personality is what is called positive
8:15:08expectations the degree to which you
8:15:10look for the good in everything and
8:15:13everybody around you people who have a
8:15:15propensity to look for the good are
8:15:17truly healthy people and the fourth
8:15:20measure or the fifth measure of healthy
8:15:22personalities what we're talking about
8:15:24today is how well you get along with
8:15:27others how well you get along with
8:15:30others as a matter of fact you really
8:15:32cannot have a healthy personality in
8:15:35isolation of your relationships with
8:15:37other human beings wonderfully enough
8:15:40there is a law of reciprocity in this is
8:15:43that the more you like yourself the more
8:15:44you like others the more responsibility
8:15:46you accept the better you get along with
8:15:47them the more you freely forgive and
8:15:49forget and refuse to hold grudges the
8:15:50more it improves the quality of your
8:15:52relationships the more you look for the
8:15:54good in people and situations the better
8:15:56you get along with yourself and them and
8:15:58the better you get along with other
8:15:59people surprise surprise the more you
8:16:02like yourself so it's a wonderful series
8:16:05of reciprocal
8:16:06relationships and this brings us to an
8:16:08important law one of the last laws we'll
8:16:10talk about probably the last it's called
8:16:11The Law of indirect effort and the law
8:16:14of indirect effort simply says that in
8:16:16our
8:16:17relationships with other people we have
8:16:20a tendency to get the things that we
8:16:22want indirectly faster than directly now
8:16:25I can give you a very simple for example
8:16:27if you try to go after things directly
8:16:29in your relationships often you'll be
8:16:31frustrated often you'll be humiliated
8:16:32you'll be embarrassed and so on let me
8:16:34give you a couple of example for
8:16:35instance if you want to impress other
8:16:37people okay you want to impress other
8:16:39people have you ever tried to impress
8:16:41someone else you some somebody you
8:16:43thought was important or valuable and
8:16:44you tried to impress them they try to
8:16:46impress someone else what you end up
8:16:48doing what you end up doing is exactly
8:16:49the opposite but the way that you
8:16:51impress other people is simply this is
8:16:53be impressed by them be impressed by
8:16:56them
8:16:57if you want other people to be
8:16:58interested in you what is the way using
8:17:01the law of indirect effort what is the
8:17:03way that you get people to be interested
8:17:05in you is of course be interested in
8:17:07them if you want people to like you
8:17:10what's the best way is to like them if
8:17:12you want people to respect you what is
8:17:14the best way to respect them in every
8:17:16case this law of indirect effort Works
8:17:19in building our human relationships one
8:17:21final Point we've talked about some of
8:17:23the mental laws and I'd like to just
8:17:24refer you to three one is the law of
8:17:26sewing and reaping the law of sewing and
8:17:28reaping says the quality of your
8:17:30relationships what you are reaping in
8:17:32your relationships at any given moment
8:17:34is a result of what you have sewn in
8:17:36those relationships what you are getting
8:17:38your relationships has very little to do
8:17:40with the other person or with fate or
8:17:42with background or or nature what it has
8:17:46to do with what you have sewn is with
8:17:48what you have sewn law of Correspondence
8:17:49says that your external world will
8:17:51correspond to your internal world as
8:17:53within so without especially in your
8:17:55relationships and of course the Law of
8:17:57Attraction says you always attract to
8:17:58you people who are very much like you
8:18:01are inside if you want to change the
8:18:03quality of your relationships the
8:18:05starting point is to change the quality
8:18:06of your relationships with yourself and
8:18:08your external relationships will mirror
8:18:10that now when we talk about this how
8:18:12well you get along with others let's
8:18:15show a very very simple graph this is
8:18:18the graph of human personality from the
8:18:20most introverted to the most extroverted
8:18:24or if you like from an in-direct person
8:18:27to an outer directed person and the
8:18:29person who has a truly healthy
8:18:30personality can get along with a great
8:18:33variety of people going from the median
8:18:35and the median of course is the average
8:18:37personality not introverted or
8:18:38extroverted now we can superimpose on
8:18:41this I guess this is the center we can
8:18:42superimpose on this another graph and
8:18:45this is the graph of self-esteem from
8:18:48high self-esteem to low
8:18:51self-esteem and we find a very
8:18:52interesting thing and this graph is my
8:18:54own creation we find that the graph is
8:18:56like
8:18:58this that if you have a low level of
8:19:01self-esteem say down here you don't
8:19:04particularly like yourself or you're
8:19:06have have feelings of inferiority or
8:19:07negativity then the number of people
8:19:09that you can get along with will be
8:19:11limited to people who are pretty much in
8:19:14the middle of the spectrum people who
8:19:16have if you might you might call them
8:19:18very easy to get along with neutral
8:19:20Bland personalities however as you go up
8:19:23the ladder of self-esteem as you like
8:19:26and respect and accept yourself more and
8:19:28more the number of people that you can
8:19:30get along with
8:19:32expands as your level of self-esteem
8:19:34goes up you can get along with more and
8:19:36more people across this spectrum if you
8:19:38like and as you get to the point where
8:19:40you have high levels of self-esteem and
8:19:42self-acceptance you find you can get
8:19:44along with almost anybody that you meet
8:19:48and since of course the great business
8:19:49of life is getting along with as many
8:19:51people as possible because the more
8:19:52people you can get along with the more
8:19:54opportunities you have to live an
8:19:55interesting fascinating exciting life
8:19:57wonderful thing is as your self-esteem
8:19:59goes up by working on yourself the
8:20:02quality of your relationships with
8:20:03others expands so what is the key to
8:20:06raising your own self-esteem wonderfully
8:20:08enough because of the law of reciprocity
8:20:11every single thing that you do that
8:20:12raises the self-esteem of someone else
8:20:16raises your own self-esteem at the same
8:20:19time that means you cannot do anything
8:20:21genuinely kind or generous to raise the
8:20:24self-esteem of other people without
8:20:26raising your own at the same time if you
8:20:27want to have a truly healthy personality
8:20:30then you you use the law of
8:20:32reversibility the law of reversability
8:20:34in one of its applications is simply
8:20:37this is that everything that you do to
8:20:39boost the self-esteem of others boost
8:20:41your self-esteem simultaneously and so
8:20:44that what we're going to look at in the
8:20:45rest of this session are what are some
8:20:46of the things that you can do to raise
8:20:49the self-esteem of other people and
8:20:51simultaneously raise your own so that
8:20:53you become a healthier personality and
8:20:55by the way there's a direct relationship
8:20:57between happy involvement with other
8:20:59people and long life Health Energy
8:21:02Vitality resistance to disease longevity
8:21:05and everything else and the key the key
8:21:07to raising the self-esteem of others is
8:21:09to make others feel important make
8:21:12others feel
8:21:14important this is and always has been
8:21:18the key to successful Human
8:21:19Relationships uh Mary K Ash has a
8:21:22beautiful little analogy she says she
8:21:24imagines that every person she meets has
8:21:27a sign around their neck that says make
8:21:30me feel important every person she meets
8:21:32has this sign it says make me feel
8:21:34important and what she does is she
8:21:36responds to that sign make others feel
8:21:38important treat others well make them
8:21:42feel important and surprisingly enough
8:21:43you will feel important too the
8:21:45reciprocal principle words now how do we
8:21:46make others feel important number one
8:21:49top of the list is eliminate destructive
8:21:53criticism eliminate destructive
8:21:55criticism
8:21:58there is nothing that causes a person's
8:22:00self-esteem to go down faster than
8:22:02destructive criticism remember it is
8:22:04destructive criticism in childhood that
8:22:06sets us up for Fears of failure fears of
8:22:08rejection feelings of inferiority
8:22:10inadequate undeserving guilt and
8:22:12everything else and most of us are still
8:22:14struggling to get over those feelings
8:22:16because of the inadvertent remarks and
8:22:19comments that are parents made to us
8:22:21when we were young so eliminate
8:22:23destructive criticism never criticize
8:22:25anybody because it de values them it
8:22:27kicks the chair out from underneath
8:22:28their self-esteem and makes them feel
8:22:30terrible just doing that making that one
8:22:33change in your life eliminating
8:22:36destructive criticism will make you a
8:22:37far more attractive person than you can
8:22:39possibly imagine if you have a tendency
8:22:41toward
8:22:42criticism number two is be agreeable be
8:22:47agreeable be agreeable that means don't
8:22:52argue I remember when I was a young
8:22:55man I was very fast mou if you like and
8:22:59I used to win arguments I used to win
8:23:01any argument I would do my reading I
8:23:03would do my research and I would be
8:23:04excellent I got to the point where
8:23:06nobody could beat me in an argument you
8:23:07know something I also got to the point
8:23:09where I didn't have anybody to argue
8:23:10with I got to the point where nobody
8:23:11wanted to talk to me nobody wanted to
8:23:13have anything to do with me I never got
8:23:15invited to anybody's house people
8:23:16wouldn't play with me at school because
8:23:18I was always arguing and even though I
8:23:20was winning I was losing so don't argue
8:23:23and the way that you avoid arguing is a
8:23:26very very simple technique it's this it
8:23:29is try first to understand rather than
8:23:33to be understood use this law of
8:23:36indirect effort and try first to
8:23:38understand the other person's point of
8:23:41view what is it that causes the other
8:23:43person to think and feel the way they do
8:23:46if you disagree with them the natural
8:23:48tendency of the immature personality is
8:23:51to try to overwhelm the other person
8:23:53with argument however the tendency of
8:23:55the mature personality is to take the
8:23:57time to try to understand why the other
8:23:59person thinks and feels the way they do
8:24:01it could very well be that their
8:24:03reasoning is superior to yours at the
8:24:05very least there's a beautiful line that
8:24:07says a man convinced against his will is
8:24:10of the same opinion still one of the
8:24:12most important principles in the
8:24:14development of human personality is the
8:24:17principle of
8:24:18non-resistance the principle of
8:24:20non-resistance was if you like brought
8:24:22to a head by Mahatma Gandhi in India
8:24:27this year or in in this century when he
8:24:29was able if you like to defeat the
8:24:31entire British Empire and take India out
8:24:34of the Empire and put it under home rule
8:24:37simply by a process of
8:24:40non-resistance Jesus said in the Bible
8:24:42he said the New Testament he said agree
8:24:44with thine adversary quickly now there's
8:24:48several reasons for this the number one
8:24:49reason is the very best way to keep a
8:24:51positive mind to be enthusiastic to be
8:24:53liked and to like other people is not to
8:24:55get into arguments with them to do
8:24:57everything possible to avoid an argument
8:24:59when I first got married I found that
8:25:02the natural tendency for people when
8:25:05they live together is to get into
8:25:07arguments because you disagree about
8:25:08times and things and so on but I also
8:25:10found a very neat little thing that has
8:25:12served me well and that is to agree
8:25:15quickly if when you see an argument
8:25:16coming back off from it agree and try to
8:25:19see the other person's point of view the
8:25:21place to start with being agreeable and
8:25:24refusing to criticize is where
8:25:27of course it's at home the interesting
8:25:29thing is and EMT fox say it beautifully
8:25:31he says if you must be rude be rude to
8:25:33strangers but save your company manners
8:25:36for your family naturally we have a
8:25:38tendency to go out and be very polite to
8:25:40people that we've never seen before and
8:25:41we'll never see again and then we come
8:25:43home and we criticize and complain and
8:25:45argue with the people that we love the
8:25:47most all right the third principle in
8:25:51making other people feel important now
8:25:52you don't criticize now you don't argue
8:25:55you've now a pleasant positive
8:25:57personality the third thing is
8:25:59acceptance the third Behavior now
8:26:01acceptance satisfies one of the deep
8:26:04deepest of all subconscious Cravings
8:26:06remember when we come into the world
8:26:07what we want more than anything else is
8:26:08to be accepted by our parents to be
8:26:10unconditionally loved and approved of
8:26:12and accepted by our parents and when we
8:26:14grow up as adults we still need that
8:26:17love and approval and the way that we
8:26:18convey acceptance is very simply this
8:26:21smile whenever you smile at another
8:26:23person you convey acceptance as a matter
8:26:25of fact working interpersonal psychology
8:26:27and interpersonal Dynamics suggests that
8:26:29when two people meet for the first time
8:26:32and every subsequent time the very first
8:26:34thing that takes place is a relationship
8:26:37of acceptance or non-acceptance occurs
8:26:41it's conveyed by Body Language by facial
8:26:43expressions by tone of voice but until
8:26:45that relationship is established no
8:26:48other communication takes place and you
8:26:50can trigger that relationship just
8:26:52simply by smiling and unconditionally
8:26:54accepting another person no matter who
8:26:56they are step number four is
8:27:02appreciation appreciation like
8:27:04acceptance whenever you engage in any
8:27:06kind of appreciation you raise the
8:27:08self-esteem of the other person when you
8:27:10smile by the way so interesting research
8:27:13seems to suggest that when you smile not
8:27:14only do you cause the other person to
8:27:16feel positive but the smiling the effort
8:27:19of smiling actually triggers endorphins
8:27:22in the brain and gives you a generalized
8:27:24sense of well-being and they say even an
8:27:27insincere smile is better than a sincere
8:27:29frown so smile force yourself to smile
8:27:32and you you will find that you can act
8:27:34your way into feeling like smiling just
8:27:36by making a habit of smiling at other
8:27:38people with regard to appreciation how
8:27:40do we express appreciation we use the
8:27:42word thank you over and over again
8:27:44saying thank you to your spouse saying
8:27:46thank you to your children saying thank
8:27:48you to your co-workers and your
8:27:49subordinates saying thank you to people
8:27:51in restaurants saying thank you on a
8:27:53regular basis when you feel it
8:27:56expressing gratitude raises people's
8:27:58self-esteem like the Mercury inner
8:27:59thermometer on a hot day and you'll find
8:28:02that the most powerful men and women the
8:28:05most successful men and women tend to be
8:28:07very
8:28:09gracious and they tend to be very
8:28:12courteous the
8:28:14television characterizations or cariz of
8:28:18men and women who are powerful but who
8:28:20are peremptory and push people around
8:28:22are not very close to the real world
8:28:25because people become powerful and
8:28:26successful to the degree to which they
8:28:29get the cooperation of other people and
8:28:31people only have a tendency to cooperate
8:28:33with others if the
8:28:35others are the type of people that they
8:28:37like to work with so be gracious be
8:28:39courteous be appreciative say thank you
8:28:42Thomas Carlile once said that you can
8:28:44tell a big person by the way they treat
8:28:46little people and that's very true
8:28:49number
8:28:50five is
8:28:52admiration admiration means admir ing
8:28:56the traits of another person if the
8:28:58person is industrious or punctual or
8:29:02hardworking or accurate or admiring the
8:29:05possessions of another
8:29:07person you see we get emotionally
8:29:10involved and bound up in our characters
8:29:12and our personalities and when somebody
8:29:14recognizes and acknowledges it and
8:29:17admires it we feel tremendous we get
8:29:19caught up in our possession we're proud
8:29:21of our homes our cars we're proud of our
8:29:24watches our shoes we're proud of our our
8:29:26children we're proud of our offices and
8:29:28if a person says boy that looks nice or
8:29:30that's a great looking car or that's a
8:29:32beautiful house or this is a lovely
8:29:33living room or that's an excellent suit
8:29:35anything that we say as long as it is
8:29:38sincere I never say anything that's
8:29:39insincere because people are very very
8:29:42smart they can detect insincerity
8:29:44remember Abraham Lincoln said everybody
8:29:47likes a compliment everybody likes a
8:29:50compliment I have worked with
8:29:52billionaires and I have worked with very
8:29:54powerful and successful heads of large
8:29:56corporations and conglomerates and I
8:29:59have found that saying something that I
8:30:01truly feel that is complimentary to them
8:30:02about themselves their businesses their
8:30:04work and so on is always responded to as
8:30:07positiv as positively as if you were
8:30:09admiring the trader possession of
8:30:11someone who had low self-esteem some
8:30:13sometimes people who have the highest
8:30:14self-esteem and success are the ones who
8:30:15are most in need of admiration and
8:30:18appreciation now the sixth thing that
8:30:21you can do to raise the self-esteem of
8:30:24others and remember every every time you
8:30:26raise somebody else's self-esteem you
8:30:27raise your own every time you increase
8:30:29the health of somebody else's
8:30:30personality by the law of indirect
8:30:32effort you increase the health of your
8:30:33own personality is
8:30:36approval approval satisfies one of the
8:30:38deepest Cravings of the human psyche the
8:30:41the the craving to be valued the craving
8:30:43to be valuable in fact one of the
8:30:45definitions of self-esteem is the degree
8:30:48to which an individual considers
8:30:49themselves to be praiseworthy a person
8:30:52who considers himself to be praiseworthy
8:30:54has high self-esteem so so when you give
8:30:56approval or praise it's been
8:30:58demonstrated I think it was uh Napoleon
8:31:01who said I have made an incredible
8:31:02Discovery men will die for ribbons in
8:31:06other words he found that soldiers who
8:31:07would not give their life for any amount
8:31:09of money would risk their lives in
8:31:11battle for the praise and approval
8:31:13represented by the ribbons and the
8:31:15metals that he handed out key to keys to
8:31:18approval number one is be immediate the
8:31:22closer the praise is to the thing that
8:31:25you pray the more likely it is the
8:31:27person will repeat it if you want your
8:31:28children or your employees to continue
8:31:30doing something as soon as they do it
8:31:31say boy that's a good job number two is
8:31:33be specific say boy you did a wonderful
8:31:36job on that lawn that house that letter
8:31:38whatever it happens to be the more
8:31:40immediate and specific the praise the
8:31:41more rapidly it raises self-esteem the
8:31:43more likely it is that the behavior will
8:31:45be repeated and third of all uh be
8:31:48public with your
8:31:49praise whenever you give recognition in
8:31:54public it doubles or triples the impact
8:31:56because the effect of other people's
8:31:59opinions on our behavior is tremendous
8:32:01in fact there's a lot of evidence that
8:32:03suggests that we are who we are and we
8:32:05do what we do because of the way we
8:32:07think other people think of us we're
8:32:09strongly affected by other people's
8:32:11opinions all right number seven is
8:32:13attention now attention is one of the
8:32:16most powerful ways to raise self-esteem
8:32:18attention means listening why is
8:32:22attention and listening so powerful is
8:32:24because we always pay attention
8:32:25attention to that which we value and we
8:32:28always ignore that which we do not value
8:32:31so if you want to tell a person that you
8:32:34value them that they are in effect
8:32:36valuable pay close attention to them
8:32:39listen to them spend time with them now
8:32:42here's some of the keys to attention
8:32:44number one is listen attentively listen
8:32:47attentively listen without
8:32:50interruptions listen patiently listen
8:32:53closely number two is
8:32:56pause before
8:32:58replying pause before replying don't
8:33:02interrupt let the person say everything
8:33:04that they have to say and pause wait
8:33:06show them that you are really
8:33:07considering what they're saying number
8:33:09three is question for clarification
8:33:12instead of rushing in to speak question
8:33:14to
8:33:15clarify what the person has said which
8:33:17is a way of telling them for sure that
8:33:20you're really listening and here's the
8:33:21best of all questions how do you
8:33:24mean when you're listening to a person
8:33:26speak and you want to fully understand
8:33:27and you want to tell them that you're
8:33:28listening say how do you mean exactly
8:33:30and ask for them to explain to you
8:33:32clearly and finally remember the
8:33:35boomerang and the boomerang says simply
8:33:38this it says that
8:33:41any genuine emotion expressed by you
8:33:45toward any other
8:33:47person is going to Boomerang back on you
8:33:50just like the law of sewing and reaping
8:33:52the law of cause and effect the Law of
8:33:54Attraction the law of correspondent says
8:33:56that any genuine emotion now that's a
8:33:58genuine emotion in other words if you
8:34:00say something positive about someone
8:34:02else it's going to go out to that person
8:34:04and it's going to come back and it's
8:34:05going to Boomerang on you so say only
8:34:08good things when you talk about other
8:34:10people talk about them as though what
8:34:11you were saying was going to be printed
8:34:13in the paper when you think about other
8:34:15people send out positive thoughts and
8:34:18positive
8:34:19ideas think all the time about how you
8:34:23can make other people feel important
8:34:25treat other people as though they were
8:34:27the most valuable people in the world
8:34:29because to them they believe they are
8:34:31and the final rule with regard to
8:34:33Superior human relations is what we call
8:34:35the Golden
8:34:36Rule Rule simply says love your neighbor
8:34:40as yourself like your neighbor as
8:34:43yourself treat your neighbor as yourself
8:34:46ask yourself in any situation how would
8:34:48I like to be treated in this situation
8:34:50ask yourself when you're in a difficult
8:34:53situation with someone or an argument or
8:34:55a disagreement
8:34:56say if I if the conditions were reversed
8:34:59how would I like to be treated in this
8:35:00situation and here's something that you
8:35:02can do pick a role model pick the person
8:35:05that you admire more than anybody else
8:35:07in the world in terms of their
8:35:09personality and whenever you're in a
8:35:11situation with someone else pretend you
8:35:13are like that person many years ago when
8:35:16I was traveling in Africa I worked with
8:35:18Dr Albert schwitzer one of the most
8:35:20beautiful men who ever lived and so very
8:35:21often when I'm in a situation with other
8:35:23people I think how would Albert schweit
8:35:26act in this situation or I think how
8:35:28would Jesus of Nazareth act in this
8:35:30situation and if you use that as your
8:35:33role model and if you use the Credo of
8:35:35making other people feel important as
8:35:37your Guiding Light you will develop a
8:35:40success personality that will lead you
8:35:42to accomplishing everything that you
8:35:44want in life in a world filled with
8:35:46other people
8:35:59session 25 building Superior
8:36:02relationships one of the oldest cliches
8:36:04is that be it ever so humble there's no
8:36:06place like home Benjamin disra the great
8:36:08Prime Minister of England once said that
8:36:10no success in public life can compensate
8:36:13for failure in the home and when we
8:36:15started this seminar uh several sessions
8:36:17ago we talked about the importance of
8:36:18the power of love and that how you and I
8:36:21as human beings are love Tropic
8:36:23organisms that everything that we do is
8:36:25either to get love or to compensate for
8:36:28the lack of love and there's no place
8:36:30where this is more important than in the
8:36:32quality of the intimate relationships
8:36:34that we form with other people in fact
8:36:36one of the measures of mental health
8:36:38according to Abraham maslo is your
8:36:40ability to enter into long-term intimate
8:36:43loving relationships with other members
8:36:46of the human race and I want to talk in
8:36:48this session about some of the things
8:36:50that might help you which have helped me
8:36:52to enjoy a higher quality of loving
8:36:54relationship with your mate or your
8:36:56spouse or the person that is most
8:36:58important to you first of all let's talk
8:37:01about the idea of the of what makes a
8:37:04relationship successful and I think that
8:37:05there are six keys that make a
8:37:07relationship successful six keys to
8:37:10successful relationships let me explain
8:37:12them to you one at a time number one is
8:37:15of course similarities
8:37:18attract similarities
8:37:21attract similarities attract in almost
8:37:24all areas but especially in the areas of
8:37:27values in the areas of attitudes toward
8:37:30the critical things like
8:37:32children like money do you know that and
8:37:35like sex for instance that arguments
8:37:37over money are not one of the number one
8:37:40reasons why marriages break down young
8:37:42marriages break down and probably older
8:37:44marriages too arguments over sex are
8:37:46number two arguments over Leisure Time
8:37:48what we're going to do when we're not
8:37:50working are the number three reason why
8:37:53relationships break down so similarities
8:37:56are very very important it's sort of
8:37:58like the when when you meet the person
8:38:00who is right for you there will be a
8:38:01chemistry they call it a right chemistry
8:38:04it feels good it feels right because you
8:38:06will be in accord or in
8:38:08Harmony on almost all of the critical
8:38:11areas of life we find that virtually all
8:38:14of your difficulties come is when you CL
8:38:16from clashing with people who have
8:38:18different opinions and ideas from you
8:38:19now with regard to similarities the most
8:38:21important part of you as a human being
8:38:24is yourself concept your central belief
8:38:27system and your central belief system
8:38:28with regard to your relationship to the
8:38:30world is summarized in your values what
8:38:33you think is right what you think is
8:38:35wrong what you think is good what you
8:38:37think is unacceptable your values are
8:38:39very important and any Clash with your
8:38:42values in life will be destructive to
8:38:44your mental health outside your values
8:38:46you have your mental life these are your
8:38:48ideas they may be your political
8:38:50opinions they may have to do with
8:38:51philosophy and so on they're not as
8:38:53important as your values because they
8:38:54change far more readily outside that you
8:38:57have your emotional life or your
8:38:59emotional temperament you'll find that
8:39:01people with similar emotional
8:39:02temperaments seem to get along the best
8:39:04and finally on the outer ring the least
8:39:07important is the
8:39:10physical is the physical attraction or
8:39:13physical similarity or physical
8:39:14comparisons however there's a lot of
8:39:16research that show us that people tend
8:39:18to marry people who look very similar to
8:39:20themselves that the highest form of
8:39:22flattery is marriage that we tend to be
8:39:24attracted to people who have facial
8:39:26features very similar to our own that's
8:39:28why they say when people grow older they
8:39:30start to look like each other well if
8:39:31they examine the wedding photographs
8:39:33they find that they started off looking
8:39:35like each other and that's why they look
8:39:36like each other more when they gow older
8:39:38number two key to successful
8:39:40relationships is that Opposites
8:39:43Attract Opposites Attract but Opposites
8:39:46Attract in only one area and this is
8:39:49important and that's in
8:39:50temperament you see
8:39:53nature requires balance in all things
8:39:57yin and yang active and passive so
8:40:00nature requires that there be a balance
8:40:02in temperament and extroverted person
8:40:04will be most compatible with an
8:40:05introverted person two people who are
8:40:07equally introverted or extroverted will
8:40:09be most compatible but here's a very
8:40:11simple test for relationships male or
8:40:13female male male female female is what
8:40:15we call the conversation test in any
8:40:18conversation between two people who are
8:40:21temperamentally suited there will be the
8:40:24entire period of time allocated for
8:40:26conversation will be full of easy
8:40:29conversation plus about 10% of easy
8:40:32silences so that if a person each person
8:40:35will have an opportunity to talk all
8:40:36they want to talk and each person will
8:40:38have an opportunity to listen all they
8:40:39want to listen and there'll be 10% of
8:40:41comfortable silences now you may have a
8:40:44person who gets all their talking done
8:40:45in 30% of the time and you may have
8:40:48another person who gets all their
8:40:49talking done in 60% of the time with
8:40:51that 10% Gap and these people will be
8:40:53very compatible however where you have
8:40:56problems in relationships is you have
8:40:58people who only like to talk 30% on the
8:41:01one side and a person only likes to talk
8:41:0230% on the other side so you have big
8:41:04gaps of uncomfortable silence where
8:41:07neither has anything to say or the other
8:41:09example is where you have two people
8:41:11each of whom have to talk 70% of the
8:41:13time so you have a big Clash over
8:41:15airtime everybody there's always a clash
8:41:18over who's going to be able to speak the
8:41:19most and you'll find that this
8:41:21relationship will be incompatible too so
8:41:23opposites attracts but only in
8:41:24temperament in all other Essentials
8:41:27similarities attract this brings us to
8:41:29number three number three key to success
8:41:32in relationships is
8:41:34commitment commitment is very important
8:41:37and in order for a relationship to work
8:41:40a person should have a total commitment
8:41:42to the relationship why mean which me
8:41:43means 100% and we'll talk about this a
8:41:46little bit later but one of the most
8:41:48beautiful definitions of love in
8:41:50relationships that I ever read was from
8:41:51Dr Scott peek where he said that love is
8:41:53the total commitment to the full
8:41:56development of the potential of the
8:41:58other love is your total commitment to
8:42:01the full development of the potential of
8:42:03the other person and this to me lays to
8:42:06rest all the arguments over male female
8:42:08women's lib and so on and so forth
8:42:09because if a person truly loves another
8:42:11person they want that person to develop
8:42:14their full potential as a human being
8:42:15and they will do everything possible to
8:42:17make that possible commitment is really
8:42:19I have a good friend named Charlie Jones
8:42:21who talks about divorce he said the way
8:42:23to deal with divorce is very simple he
8:42:24says never consider it he said don't
8:42:26even think about it don't talk about it
8:42:28never even consider the possibility of
8:42:30divorce he says murder yes but never
8:42:32divorce now and maybe that's a little
8:42:34bit stringent but the key to a
8:42:37successful relationship is the depth of
8:42:39commitment that each person has most
8:42:41dangerous thing in a relationship is
8:42:43when people start thinking in terms of
8:42:44well if it doesn't work out I can go
8:42:45somewhere else if it doesn't work out we
8:42:47always get a divorce relationships like
8:42:49that almost invariably end in a divorce
8:42:52number four key to a successful
8:42:54relationship
8:42:55is similar self-concepts
8:42:58attract similar self-concepts
8:43:01attract now this means when we talk
8:43:03about similar self- Concepts we talk
8:43:05about how much you like yourself how
8:43:07much you value yourself we talk about
8:43:09what you might call the happiness scale
8:43:11the happiness scale means how happy are
8:43:14you on a scale of 1 to 10 that's the
8:43:18basic question you will find that you
8:43:19will always be most compatible with a
8:43:21person who is just about as happy as you
8:43:24are if ever you get involved in a
8:43:26relationship with a person who is
8:43:27unhappy and you allow yourself to be
8:43:29diluted into believing that you're going
8:43:31to bring them up and they're going to be
8:43:33happy at your level because you're going
8:43:35to help them you're entering into a
8:43:36Fool's game because most people who are
8:43:38unhappy are quite happy being unhappy
8:43:40and they have no intention of changing
8:43:43there as a matter of fact the unhappiest
8:43:44relationships I've ever seen in my life
8:43:46are when a generally happy positive
8:43:48person gets involved with a negative
8:43:50person and tries to bring them up to
8:43:52their level because it never works so
8:43:55ask yourself this how happy is the
8:43:57person that you're thinking about
8:43:58getting involved with and understand
8:44:00that is very rare except by tremendous
8:44:02effort that people change their level of
8:44:04Happiness this brings us to number
8:44:06five key to success in relationships is
8:44:11liking now liking which has to do with
8:44:14respect is more important than being in
8:44:17love and more permanently satisfying
8:44:20because being in love although it comes
8:44:23and goes is a passing condition ition
8:44:26being in love is something that es and
8:44:28flows as a matter of fact you can be
8:44:30furiously angry with your mate or with
8:44:32your spouse and still have an excellent
8:44:34relationship and you can still never
8:44:35consider breaking up as long as you like
8:44:38and respect them but if the liking and
8:44:40the respecting goes out of a
8:44:41relationship the being in love or the
8:44:43infatuation is never enough to hold it
8:44:45together now here's a simple test with
8:44:47regard to liking it's what I call the
8:44:49best friend test the best friend test
8:44:52simply says that if you are ideally
8:44:55suited to your mate your mate will be
8:44:58your best friend that there will be
8:45:00nobody that you would rather spend time
8:45:01with there will be nobody that you trust
8:45:03more there will be nobody that you would
8:45:05be more open honest candid and Frank
8:45:08with that your mate or your spouse will
8:45:10be your best friend it's the simplest
8:45:12measure of all because you cannot force
8:45:14being best friends best friends just
8:45:16happens naturally when everything is
8:45:18right on the other hand if you are in a
8:45:21situation where you could not tell your
8:45:23spouse or your mate all a lot of the
8:45:25things that are important to you where
8:45:26you talk to other people more than you
8:45:28talk to them where you have a lot of
8:45:29secrets that you keep from them or a lot
8:45:31of things that you keep inside yourself
8:45:33then generally speaking you are probably
8:45:35not involved with your best friend and
8:45:38the prognosis for your relationship is
8:45:40not very good number
8:45:43six uh requirement for happiness and
8:45:47relationships
8:45:49is
8:45:51Communications now Communications
8:45:55or communicating back and forth in a
8:45:57relationship is the Elixir that keeps a
8:46:00relationship alive without it a
8:46:02relationship dies without it the
8:46:04relationship has no possibility and good
8:46:06Communications in a relationship not
8:46:08only require speaking and listening not
8:46:11only require trying to understand give
8:46:12and take but they require time and they
8:46:16require a high
8:46:18quality and a high quantity of
8:46:21time very important quality and quantity
8:46:24of time
8:46:25what my wife and I do on a regular basis
8:46:28is we will go on a trip and sometimes
8:46:30we'll go on a trip to a place that takes
8:46:31three or 4 hours and we'll leave the
8:46:32children with a housekeeper or someone
8:46:34else and we will drive in that car no
8:46:36radio no tapes for three or four hours
8:46:38and just talk and we'll get some of the
8:46:40highest quality and quantity of talk and
8:46:42conversation and so if you use that
8:46:44analogy what what what you might call a
8:46:46car trip analogy which is uninterrupted
8:46:50conversation with your spouse over an
8:46:53extended period of time you find the
8:46:55most remarkable things will happen but
8:46:57if you're not spending a high quality
8:46:58and quantity of time with your spouse or
8:47:00your mate the relationship is going to
8:47:02suffer and many relationships will die
8:47:03as a result now two critical points with
8:47:06regard to this from my point of view as
8:47:08a man number one is remember that men
8:47:11are not mind readers one of the hardest
8:47:14things for women to understand is that
8:47:16men are not mind readers they do not
8:47:19know what women mean or what women want
8:47:22them to think half the time and it is
8:47:24not fair for women to expect men to know
8:47:28what is bothering them or what they want
8:47:30or what they need and number two
8:47:32remember this that men are direct women
8:47:35are
8:47:36indirect what does this
8:47:38mean
8:47:40well if a man and a woman are driving
8:47:42down the street and the woman is thirsty
8:47:46she might say as they pass a McDonald's
8:47:48she might say honey are you thirsty and
8:47:51he'll say nope I keep on driving what
8:47:53she was trying to say was she was
8:47:55thirsty why don't they stop now the man
8:47:56on the other hand if he saw the
8:47:58McDonald's and was thirsty says I'm
8:47:59thirsty let's stop so women tend to be
8:48:02indirect and they get really angry when
8:48:03men don't understand what they were
8:48:05trying to say so one of the best things
8:48:07that you can do in Communications is be
8:48:08a little bit more direct be a little bit
8:48:10more um a little bit more clear a little
8:48:13bit more specific now an important point
8:48:15with regard to men according to recent
8:48:17survey recent study it shows that men
8:48:20are 95% more likely to interrupt a woman
8:48:23in a conversation than a woman is likely
8:48:25to interrupt a man and one of the best
8:48:28things that you can do in a relationship
8:48:30you men out there is take time to listen
8:48:32to your spouses one of the gentlemen who
8:48:34went through my seminar said the most
8:48:36valuable thing he got from this part on
8:48:37human relations was when you you go home
8:48:40at night before you the man the direct
8:48:42person the extrovert starts telling your
8:48:45woman all about everything that went on
8:48:47during the course of the day ask her how
8:48:50her day has been ask her how her day has
8:48:52unfolding what has happened to her how
8:48:54things going with her try doing that as
8:48:56a discipline and you'll be literally
8:48:58astonished at what it will do for your
8:48:59relationship and then listen without
8:49:01interruptions listen and pause before
8:49:03replying listen and ask questions for
8:49:05clarification listen and give positive
8:49:07feedback all right now let's talk about
8:49:10some of the problems in
8:49:18relationships problems in relationships
8:49:20number one problem in
8:49:21relationship lack of commitment now lack
8:49:25of commitment is amazingly common
8:49:27because we live in a society today where
8:49:29it is considered clever to protect
8:49:31yourself by not making too deep a
8:49:32commitment to anybody so what people do
8:49:34is they often get involved in
8:49:35relationships but they only get involved
8:49:37up to their toes lack of commitment is
8:49:39often expressed in a trading
8:49:40relationships a trading relationship is
8:49:43a relationship where one says you do
8:49:45your share and I'll do my share you put
8:49:46in your amount I'll put in my amount and
8:49:48neither one of them wants to get in 100%
8:49:52neither one of them wants to run the
8:49:53risk of being rejected so by both of
8:49:57them not running the risk of being
8:49:58rejected they both end up being rejected
8:50:00and the key to resolving this as I said
8:50:03before is for each individually to make
8:50:06a 100% commitment to this relationship
8:50:09and say that no matter what happens I
8:50:10will never leave this relationship make
8:50:12that decision to get in either get in or
8:50:15get out now if you feel that you can't
8:50:16make the commitment that will tell you
8:50:17something that's very important for you
8:50:19to know if your spouse feels that he or
8:50:21she can't make the commitment or mate
8:50:23feels that he or she can't make make a
8:50:24commitment that will tell them something
8:50:27too but in either case either get in or
8:50:29get out it will relieve an enormous
8:50:30amount of tension and stress in a
8:50:32relationship now number two is trying to
8:50:34change the other or expecting the other
8:50:37to change you see when we try to change
8:50:39another person you know what we're
8:50:41saying we're saying in effect that
8:50:44you're not good enough the way you are
8:50:46you don't come up to my standards how
8:50:48many times to people enter into
8:50:49marriages with one or the other saying
8:50:51well I'll change him or her as time goes
8:50:53on they'll come they'll shape up more
8:50:55into the model that I desire or I
8:50:58approve of whenever you try to change
8:51:00another person and why do we try to
8:51:01change another person we keep
8:51:03disapproving of the person they are and
8:51:05the things that they do we keep asking
8:51:07them to be different we want them to be
8:51:08more of this or less of that now that
8:51:12great American philosopher Flip Wilson
8:51:14had a wonderful expression which he used
8:51:15to cover this and it's simply this he
8:51:17says what you sees is what you
8:51:21get don't enter into a relationship
8:51:24with the intention of changing the other
8:51:26person because what you sees is what you
8:51:29get people don't change unless they
8:51:31intensely desire to change and are
8:51:33willing to practice some of the things
8:51:35we talked about in this seminar however
8:51:37if you just stop trying to change the
8:51:39other person and accept them
8:51:41unconditionally with unconditional love
8:51:43acceptance and approval often they will
8:51:46bend over backwards to change for you
8:51:49but there's something within every human
8:51:50being that resists being changed by
8:51:53another person
8:51:56number three cause of problems or in
8:51:59relationships
8:52:00is
8:52:04jealousy now jealousy has to do with the
8:52:08fear of failure why do where where does
8:52:10jealousy come from it comes from deep
8:52:12down inside we don't feel that we're
8:52:14good enough it comes from this old
8:52:15feeling of low self-esteem I'm not good
8:52:18enough this is something by the way that
8:52:22is rooted in our inferiority complex
8:52:24Alfred Adler the great psychologist the
8:52:27disciple of Freud said that the natural
8:52:29human condition is that of feeling
8:52:31inferior the reason for that is because
8:52:33we grow up as children in a world of
8:52:34giants where we are made to feel
8:52:36inferior because we're so small and that
8:52:39as adults we are continually struggling
8:52:40against this inferiority complex this
8:52:43feeling that I'm not good enough leads
8:52:44to feelings of jealousy the feeling is
8:52:46that that other person could never love
8:52:48me unconditionally therefore I'm not
8:52:50safe I'm not okay in this relationship
8:52:54and the way that you get over this
8:52:55feeling of jealousy is work on your own
8:52:58self-concept and say over and over again
8:53:00I like myself I like myself or I love
8:53:03myself because the more you boost your
8:53:05own self-esteem remember there's an
8:53:06inverse relationship between these
8:53:09fears and how much you like yourself the
8:53:11more you like yourself the more your
8:53:12self-esteem goes
8:53:14up the more your fears of jealousy fears
8:53:17of rejection fears of loss of love and
8:53:19so on go down so be alert to jealousy
8:53:21and remember though it has nothing to do
8:53:23with the other person
8:53:24it has only to do with the person
8:53:26experiencing it and I'll say one more
8:53:28thing is that it is not clever to make
8:53:30somebody feel jealous it is not smart it
8:53:32is not clever it is not fashionable it
8:53:35is just an unkind and cruel thing to do
8:53:37especially if it is successful now
8:53:40number four is
8:53:41self-pity where does self-pity come from
8:53:44well there's several sources almost
8:53:46invariably self-pity comes from having
8:53:47had a parent who was very good at
8:53:49self-pity so what we did is we imitated
8:53:51the parent as we grow up we find
8:53:53Opportunities to experience self-pity
8:53:54ourselves self-pity is also rooted in
8:53:57low self-esteem it's not liking
8:53:59ourselves very much now what is the
8:54:01solution for self-pity very simple very
8:54:04simply this is get busy get busy people
8:54:08who are busy people who are working on
8:54:10something that's important people who
8:54:12have a worthwhile purpose in life do not
8:54:15experience self-pity it is only people
8:54:19who are going around in circles drifting
8:54:21waiting for someone else and so on so
8:54:23you can overcome self pity simply by
8:54:25working on your self-concept and set
8:54:28some goals set clear specific goals and
8:54:30get going on them remember the law of
8:54:32substitution says you can't feel sorry
8:54:34for yourself you can't even feel jealous
8:54:36you can't even feel angry if you're busy
8:54:38working on goals that are important to
8:54:40you conscious mind can only hold one
8:54:42thought at a time positive or negative
8:54:45and then we come to number six number
8:54:47six is a major reason which sort of
8:54:48summarizes everything that we've talked
8:54:50about up to now as a major problem in
8:54:52relationships and it is called in in
8:54:55compatibility incompatibility means that
8:54:58you and the other
8:54:59person are not compatible now this is
8:55:03very very hard for us to accept because
8:55:05of fears of rejection and failure we
8:55:06often stay in relationships long past
8:55:09the point where it's clear that we no
8:55:11longer have anything in common and we do
8:55:13that for a variety of different reasons
8:55:15one we do that because we don't want
8:55:17people to think that we have failed
8:55:19another the reason that we do it is that
8:55:20it's our comfort zone and we don't want
8:55:22to go through all the difficulty of of
8:55:24seating but what happens is this when
8:55:26two people meet they're like two dinner
8:55:28plates and what they have is they have
8:55:30areas where they are separate here's the
8:55:32man here's the woman they have areas
8:55:34where they're separate and different and
8:55:35they have areas that they have in common
8:55:37now as a relationship develops sometimes
8:55:39these areas
8:55:41grow and so when they finally get
8:55:43married they find that they have an
8:55:44enormous amount in common and sometimes
8:55:46they have areas out here that they have
8:55:49which are separate as the French say
8:55:51Viva difference or you know long live
8:55:53the difference between men and women
8:55:55however especially in our 20s as we grow
8:55:58and evolve and change rapidly what can
8:56:00happen is that we can grow apart and we
8:56:03can reach the point where the man and
8:56:05the woman now have a great gap between
8:56:07them they have very little in common how
8:56:09can you tell when incompatibility is set
8:56:12into a relationship number one the first
8:56:14thing that goes is the
8:56:16laughter is people stop laughing
8:56:19together and the second thing that goes
8:56:21is the
8:56:22Friendship is they don't look upon on
8:56:24themselves as friends anymore they look
8:56:25upon themselves as sort of people that
8:56:27are forced together now if
8:56:29incompatibility has set into a
8:56:30relationship the natural thing to do the
8:56:33best thing to do is to try to patch it
8:56:34up try to find some kind of a bridge try
8:56:36to try to put it back together if you
8:56:38like try to bind it together especially
8:56:40if there's children and a lot of other
8:56:41things involved however please
8:56:44understand this if incompatibility has
8:56:46developed and incompatibility is the
8:56:47rule you have to go through dozens and
8:56:49dozens of men or members of the opposite
8:56:51sex before you ever find one that you
8:56:52can settle down with incompatibility has
8:56:55happened accept
8:56:57it as a reality because if you do not
8:57:01you're going to enter into the phenomena
8:57:03of denial and the denial is going to
8:57:05cause tremendous stress and resistance
8:57:07and unhappiness number two is remember
8:57:10that if it has happened no one is guilty
8:57:14just because you are no longer
8:57:16compatible with the other person doesn't
8:57:17mean that there's anything wrong with
8:57:19the other person and it doesn't mean
8:57:20there's anything wrong with you it means
8:57:22it's just incompatibility has set in
8:57:24remember it just happens it's like the
8:57:27rain when it rains nobody is guilty it
8:57:30just happens it is the most common
8:57:32phenomena in relationships is
8:57:35incompatibility and one final point with
8:57:37incompatibility is this in my experience
8:57:40I find the major reason why people stay
8:57:42in relationships that they're no longer
8:57:44happy in that there's no love there's no
8:57:46music there's no laughter there's no
8:57:48future to the relationship it's because
8:57:51of what others might say it's because of
8:57:54what others might
8:57:57say and this is really amazing to me
8:58:00because whenever I speak to people and
8:58:02I've been in the same situation I've
8:58:03I've never been through a marriage that
8:58:05didn't work out but I Was A Bachelor for
8:58:0735 years and so I've been through
8:58:09relationships that didn't work out and
8:58:11I've been amazed at how much Social
8:58:13pressure there is created in our own
8:58:15minds to stay in a relationship that we
8:58:17don't enjoy because we think others will
8:58:20disapprove of us we think that others
8:58:22will be upset we think that others will
8:58:24be saddened and the fact of the matter
8:58:26is as everybody eventually finds out is
8:58:28that nobody cares as much about your
8:58:30relationship as you do and if you
8:58:32sacrifice your peace of mind for what
8:58:33you think others might
8:58:35say you will never never be happy
8:58:40incompatibility is a reality if it you
8:58:43cannot repair it if you cannot overcome
8:58:45it then deal with it honestly deal with
8:58:47it graciously face it in a
8:58:49straightforward way deal with it in a
8:58:52respectful dignified way and find some
8:58:54way to resolve the relationship so that
8:58:57it doesn't hurt anybody more than it has
8:58:59to remember this with regard to loving
8:59:02relationships that your objective your
8:59:05responsibility is to set joy and
8:59:07fulfillment in your relationships as
8:59:09your minimum standard set peace of mind
8:59:12Happiness joy fulfillment Tranquility
8:59:16make your home and your loving
8:59:17relationship the crown jewel of your
8:59:19emotional life and settle for nothing
8:59:22less keep working at it keep striving
8:59:25keep chopping keep changing do whatever
8:59:27is necessary but you owe it to yourself
8:59:30you owe it to your life you owe it to
8:59:31your character your integrity your peace
8:59:33of mind your health and your future to
8:59:35settle for nothing less than a
8:59:37relationship that is a joy to be a part
8:59:39of
8:59:54session 26 how to raise Super Kids
8:59:57perhaps the most permanent relationship
8:59:58that you ever enter into in life is that
9:00:00of bringing a child into the world it
9:00:02outlasts many marriages IT outlasts jobs
9:00:05and careers it outlasts money and
9:00:07locations and businesses it lasts until
9:00:09one or the other of you passes on and
9:00:12most of us come into this world without
9:00:14any idea of how to raise children we
9:00:15come in without any basic parenting
9:00:17skills and the great tragedy is that
9:00:19most people don't make any effort to
9:00:20pick up any skills it's possible today
9:00:23for you to learned so much about how to
9:00:25raise happy healthy self-confident
9:00:27wonderful loving vibrant fulfilled
9:00:30children there's so much information
9:00:32available on and you know that about 80
9:00:33to 90% of parents never bother to buy a
9:00:36book on the subject or consult an expert
9:00:38or even seek advice except from their
9:00:40mother-in-law or from the person in the
9:00:43backyard very important today in this
9:00:46session we're going to talk about how to
9:00:47raise super kids and I'm going to give
9:00:49you some key ideas that you can use and
9:00:50I have three kids who I think are super
9:00:52kids I have Christina who who's seven I
9:00:54have Michael who's five and I have
9:00:56little David who's 1 year old and these
9:00:58kids are just great and everything that
9:00:59I'm going to tell you we use on them
9:01:027even days a week and I can promise you
9:01:04this the law of sewing and reaping is
9:01:06true with Children what you sew in your
9:01:08children you reap in your children
9:01:10everything that you put into your
9:01:11children you're going to get out
9:01:13positive or negative but if you put good
9:01:15into your children the wonderful thing
9:01:17is that they will Blossom like flowers
9:01:20so this starts us off with a basic
9:01:21question what is the role of parenting
9:01:24what is the key role of
9:01:27parenting the answer to that question in
9:01:29my estimation is very simple the role of
9:01:32parenting most important job that we
9:01:34enter into the role of parenting is to
9:01:38nurture
9:01:39children that's all the role of
9:01:41parenting is to nurture children until
9:01:44they're 18 years of age until they reach
9:01:46the age of maturity and to build High
9:01:49self-esteem in those children to build
9:01:52High self-esteem in my estimation this
9:01:55is the key role of being a parent
9:01:57nothing else is significant or important
9:02:00next to the building of self-esteem why
9:02:01is that because if you can raise a child
9:02:03to the age of 18 where they love
9:02:05themselves they respect themselves they
9:02:07unconditionally accept themselves they
9:02:09consider themselves to be valuable and
9:02:10worthwhile and important young people
9:02:12they're self-reliant self-responsible
9:02:14and capable of making their own
9:02:15decisions that no matter what life can
9:02:17throw at them in the years to follow
9:02:19you've set them off on a solid rockard
9:02:22psychological Foundation and they can
9:02:24make their own way and make a wonderful
9:02:26life for themselves and other people if
9:02:29however you give children everything
9:02:30else in the world but you leave them
9:02:31without this self-esteem if you leave
9:02:33them without this self-confidence
9:02:35without this belief in themselves
9:02:37without this conviction that they can do
9:02:38whatever is necessary to be successful
9:02:40if you leave them anything except
9:02:42self-esteem to that degree you have not
9:02:44succeeded as a parent so raising
9:02:47children and building High self-esteem
9:02:48in children becomes the organizing
9:02:51principle of parenting the organizing
9:02:53princi principle means that you
9:02:55continually ask knowing that everything
9:02:58counts you continually ask does this
9:03:00build self-esteem in my child is this
9:03:04situation is this issue is my response
9:03:07contributing toward building and
9:03:08nurturing this little human being that's
9:03:10been entrusted to me or is it not uh
9:03:13with Christina my first child wonderful
9:03:16little
9:03:17girl I have explained to her at a very
9:03:19early age that she came to me as Khalil
9:03:23Jabron explains in his book The Prophet
9:03:25she came to Barbara and I from God and
9:03:28that our job is to take care of her and
9:03:30to love her until she grows up and that
9:03:33she doesn't belong to us and we don't
9:03:35own her and our job is not to shape her
9:03:38the way we want her to be shaped our job
9:03:40is to nurture her and discipline her and
9:03:42train her and give her every opportunity
9:03:44to grow and expand and develop but our
9:03:47job is just to take care of her until
9:03:48she grows up and she understands that
9:03:51very clearly that we are there to
9:03:53nurture her and to build High
9:03:55self-esteem and that she came from God
9:03:58and she thinks of herself as being
9:04:00really really special because surprise
9:04:02surprise none of her friends have been
9:04:04told that so these are the organizing
9:04:06principles that we use with our children
9:04:08now no parent is perfect parents make
9:04:11mistakes parents get tired parents get
9:04:13irritable parents shout at their kids
9:04:14parents spank their kids and punish
9:04:16their kids but generally speaking if we
9:04:18use the organizing principle of building
9:04:20High self-esteem in our children these
9:04:22are the things to remember number one is
9:04:26destructive criticism is extremely
9:04:28painful to a child destructive criticism
9:04:31sets children up for a lifetime of
9:04:33inferiority complex low self-esteem
9:04:36fears of failure and rejection so never
9:04:39use destructive criticism on your
9:04:41children never run your children down
9:04:44never use destructive
9:04:46criticism on your
9:04:49children instead do everything possible
9:04:52to build them up that doesn't mean that
9:04:53you don't discipline them it doesn't
9:04:55mean that you don't control them but you
9:04:56never say you're a bad boy or you're a
9:04:58bad girl or you're a little brat or
9:05:00you're no good or you never tell the
9:05:02truth you never say anything to your
9:05:04children about themselves that you do
9:05:07not want to become part of their
9:05:08personalities because remember it goes
9:05:10straight past the conscious mind into
9:05:12the subconscious and it's programmed
9:05:14away and accepted as a truth because you
9:05:17said it even in a moment of anger so
9:05:19never use destructive criticism on your
9:05:20children children are very vulnerable to
9:05:22destructive criticism ISM number two
9:05:24remember that lack of Love or love
9:05:27withheld is the major reason for
9:05:30psychological physical and emotional
9:05:33problems in life that children need love
9:05:37and if you deprive children of love and
9:05:39it is not by the way what you think
9:05:42inside it is the child's perception
9:05:44everything is perception now the child
9:05:47is pretty shallow at in the formative
9:05:50years the child doesn't know that you
9:05:52really love the child unless you tell
9:05:54the child show the child demonstrate to
9:05:56the child over and over and over again
9:05:59many children have grown up and found
9:06:01themselves visiting psychiatrists and
9:06:03psychologists and trying to wrestle
9:06:04through the problem that they never
9:06:06believe that their parents love them and
9:06:08if you talk to the parents they say well
9:06:09of course I love my kids they say well
9:06:11did you tell my kids well no I didn't
9:06:13tell them but they know I love them no
9:06:15children don't know they as they say
9:06:17they need the words number
9:06:20three is remember that children need a
9:06:22continuous flow of love and approval
9:06:26love and approval is the emotional
9:06:28psychological Lifeline that children
9:06:30have to have in order to grow just
9:06:33imagine that your children are on a
9:06:35intravenous and this intravenous has the
9:06:37critical nutrients for the development
9:06:39of their personality and the critical
9:06:41nutrient in that intravenous is the
9:06:43words and gestures that of love and
9:06:45approval and a continuous flow and if
9:06:47you cut off the flow it's like cutting
9:06:49off the flow of nutrients or cutting off
9:06:51the oxygen flow to the emotional brain
9:06:54they need it every day they need it
9:06:56every night they need it morning noon
9:06:57and night they need it continuously when
9:06:59they're growing they're very much like
9:07:01growing children need a lot of food got
9:07:02to have a lot of food because they're
9:07:03growing they need a lot of emotional
9:07:05support when they're growing too a
9:07:07fourth thing to remember is children
9:07:09need praise praise is what grows
9:07:11children as a matter of fact they found
9:07:13that when you praise a child their their
9:07:15physiological system actually vibrates
9:07:18with new energy they need encouragement
9:07:20remember children are afraid because
9:07:22they're little kids in a big world they
9:07:25need encouragement all the time you can
9:07:26do it you can do it sure you can do it
9:07:28go ahead give it a try also they need
9:07:31reinforcement sometimes they fall in
9:07:32their face sometimes they do it right
9:07:34they need to be told hey you did a great
9:07:36job that's wonderful they need to be
9:07:37praised and reinforced they need
9:07:39patience children need a lot of patience
9:07:42because they're seem to be slow in
9:07:43learning the kindest thing you can do
9:07:45for your children is to be patient be
9:07:47supportive also to be um uh uh loving
9:07:53and also to be kind children need an
9:07:57enormous amount of kindness and they
9:07:59need caring they need tenderness they
9:08:01need gentleness they need especially
9:08:04though they need patience when they are
9:08:05the least patient when they are the most
9:08:08exasperating is when they need the most
9:08:10patience from you the most kindness the
9:08:13most understanding the most compassion
9:08:15now the fifth Point here is to tell your
9:08:18children you love them every day tell
9:08:21them you love them every day
9:08:24I have been surprised I've been
9:08:27surprised tell them you love them every
9:08:29day how many parents don't tell their
9:08:31children that they love them they say
9:08:34well now a kid knows I love them I've
9:08:36had arguments they say well they know I
9:08:37love them I don't have to tell them the
9:08:39fact is that kids need to know and the
9:08:41reason of course that we don't is why
9:08:42it's CU our parents never told us that
9:08:43they loved us if we grew up in a
9:08:45household where our parents never said I
9:08:46love you and I care for you and I wish
9:08:48the very best for you and they never
9:08:50gave us praise and encouragement we'll
9:08:51grow up being very uncomfortable but
9:08:53I'll tell you this that if you'll tell
9:08:55your kids you love them on a regular
9:08:56basis they'll tell you back and they
9:08:58will teach you how to love so learn to
9:09:01use the words over and over again now
9:09:02here's four behaviors that parents can
9:09:05use to tell their children that they
9:09:07really love them behavior number one is
9:09:10the greatest gift that a parent can give
9:09:12to a child it's called unconditional
9:09:14love make sure that the child knows that
9:09:16you love them 100% no matter what they
9:09:19do no matter what happens that nothing
9:09:22in the world can ever stop you from
9:09:24loving them 100% it's absolutely
9:09:27Critical with my little girl and my
9:09:29little boy I have a little game with
9:09:31them that I play with him called The
9:09:32Love Game and I asked them how much do I
9:09:35love you and we go through a game and
9:09:36they say well this much I say come on
9:09:38now I say this much come on if this much
9:09:40and finally they say this much and I
9:09:42said well what about when I shout at you
9:09:44they say well you still love me this
9:09:45much I say what about when I put you in
9:09:48your bedroom they say you still love us
9:09:50this much I say what about when I shout
9:09:52at you and put you in your your bedroom
9:09:53make you stand in the corner they say
9:09:56you still love us this much daddy cuz no
9:09:58matter what we do you love us all the
9:10:00time now that's the very kindest thing
9:10:03that you can ever convince your kids of
9:10:05I do this to condition them I do this
9:10:07because I want it driven so down deep
9:10:09into their subconscious mind that they
9:10:11are so totally loved that they can go
9:10:13throughout their life as little kids
9:10:15growing up and never never never
9:10:17question that their mommy and daddy
9:10:19really love them remember the phenomenon
9:10:21of conditional love is what breeds the
9:10:23fear of rejection which breeds feelings
9:10:24of inferiority and insecurity children
9:10:27by the way who are not brought up with
9:10:29enough love in their formative years
9:10:31develop what is called a deficiency need
9:10:34and they spend the rest of their lives
9:10:36like deanes with his lamp looking for an
9:10:38honest man they spend the rest of their
9:10:39lives looking for the love that they
9:10:42were deprived of in childhood be very
9:10:44alert to that you cannot give a child
9:10:46too much love in the formative years you
9:10:49cannot love a child too much you can
9:10:51give them buckets and buckets and
9:10:53buckets of love give them all the love
9:10:56they can absorb so number two way that
9:10:58you show your love is with eye contact
9:11:00children have emotional fuel tanks and
9:11:03they drink in the love of their parents
9:11:06through their parents' eyes and when you
9:11:08look at your child with love and you say
9:11:11I love you I love you very much the
9:11:14child just feels wonderful all over so
9:11:18say I love you but look them in the eye
9:11:19do you know that most parents only look
9:11:21their children in the eye when they're
9:11:22scolding them
9:11:24that most children grow up today with a
9:11:26very distinct uneasiness about direct
9:11:28eye contact from adults that in our
9:11:30society direct eye contact is considered
9:11:33a sign of hostility because so many of
9:11:35us have grown up with our parents only
9:11:36looking at us when they're scolding us
9:11:38and when they're speaking nicely to us
9:11:40sometimes they just watch the television
9:11:41or read the paper so look the child
9:11:43right in the eye the third is physical
9:11:47contact remember children are very
9:11:50emotional and very visceral they're very
9:11:53physical and they need physical contact
9:11:55they need to be hugged they need to be
9:11:57kissed they need to be embraced they
9:11:59need to be patted they need to be
9:12:00carried and every single time that you
9:12:02hold your child with warmth and love
9:12:04starting from infancy all the way up to
9:12:07when they become grown-ups and you Pat
9:12:09them on the back or put your arm around
9:12:11them or Pat them on the head physical
9:12:13contact as it says in the song touch my
9:12:15hair when you pass my chair little
9:12:17things mean a lot contact with your
9:12:20children is one of the ways that you
9:12:21tell them that you love them now
9:12:22interesting enough in in studies that
9:12:24were done in the late 40s they found
9:12:26that infants who were not held in
9:12:28hospitals and very and embraced while
9:12:31they were being fed actually began to
9:12:34atrophy shrivel up stop taking nutrition
9:12:37and many of them died of a dis disease
9:12:40called marasmus where they lack that
9:12:42physical warmth and contact so physical
9:12:44contact is absolutely essential to a
9:12:46child's healthy well-being and number
9:12:49four is focused
9:12:51attention by the the way it's
9:12:55interesting many many fathers have this
9:12:58idea that if you give a child too much
9:13:00hugging a male child a boy too much
9:13:02hugging too much kissing at an early age
9:13:04you'll make them a in fact it's
9:13:07exactly the opposite The More Hugging
9:13:08the more kissing the more physical
9:13:10contact that a little boy has with his
9:13:12mother and father and especially his
9:13:13father the more masculine the more self
9:13:16assured the more self-confident he grows
9:13:18up the less he gets the more insecure
9:13:20the more Angry the more stressed he is
9:13:23so remember that you can't give a child
9:13:25male or female more physical too much
9:13:27physical contact and focused attention
9:13:29means that you spend time with the child
9:13:31every day just you and the child walking
9:13:34talking listening no television no
9:13:36newspaper no one else just a few minutes
9:13:38a day that tells the child that the
9:13:40child is really valuable you see parents
9:13:43children whose parents don't spend time
9:13:45with them alone are convinced that the
9:13:47reason mommy and daddy is not doing it
9:13:49is because there's something wrong with
9:13:51me they don't know that the parents are
9:13:53busy or doing something else they just
9:13:55feel that there's something defective
9:13:57about them and that's why the parents
9:13:59don't spend the time with them so be
9:14:01very careful it's the perception of the
9:14:02child not the reality all right now the
9:14:05next number six is positive
9:14:08expectations positive expectations were
9:14:10found by Dr David mclen of Harvard
9:14:12University to be one of the best single
9:14:15determinants of Peak Performance as a
9:14:18young person positive expectations of
9:14:21the child by the parent causes the child
9:14:23to do everything possible to grow up and
9:14:26fulfill the parents' expectations as a
9:14:29matter of fact he found that there were
9:14:30two things one was a democratic
9:14:32household that in a democratic household
9:14:34where the child was expected to
9:14:36contribute his or her opinion at an
9:14:38early age and in a democrat in a
9:14:41household where the parents said in
9:14:42effect I believe in you no matter what
9:14:45you do I believe in you I believe you're
9:14:47going to do well that these two factors
9:14:50alone LED children to becoming High
9:14:52achievers in their teens and in their
9:14:54early 20s sometimes 10 20 years ahead of
9:14:57children who were not brought up in
9:14:59Democratic households where their
9:15:00opinions were contributed were were
9:15:02solicited and and valued and where their
9:15:05parents expressed negative expectations
9:15:08like remember that you've heard many
9:15:09times kid works hard comes home with
9:15:11five A's and a b first thing the parent
9:15:13says is what's this B not look how great
9:15:15the A's are but what's the be what this
9:15:18does is it completely demoralizes the
9:15:20child so positive expectations are
9:15:22critical to the growth of a healthy
9:15:23personality number seven is teach your
9:15:25children to say I like myself from an
9:15:27early age teach your children to say I
9:15:30like myself from an early age I like
9:15:33myself I like myself I like myself you
9:15:35see high con High self-concept children
9:15:37High self-esteemed children like
9:15:40themselves too much to get into trouble
9:15:41at school they get better grades they're
9:15:43more popular they're better liked by
9:15:45their schoolmates and by their teachers
9:15:47they have much less a tendency to use
9:15:49drugs they have much more resistance to
9:15:51peer pressure they don't get into
9:15:53trouble they don't vandalize so teach
9:15:55your children to say I like myself I
9:15:56like myself I like myself with our
9:15:58children we taught them as soon as they
9:16:00could talk to say I like myself and I
9:16:02love myself I love myself I love myself
9:16:05and they stand in front of the mirror
9:16:06and they look in the mirror and they say
9:16:07I love myself I love myself and they act
9:16:10like they love themselves people come up
9:16:11to us on the street and they say and
9:16:13this is great they say to us those kids
9:16:16aren't afraid of anything those kids
9:16:18aren't afraid of anything and that was
9:16:21our great desire after we came from very
9:16:24negative childhoods and very
9:16:25destructively critical parents we wanted
9:16:27our kids to grow up not to be afraid so
9:16:30this is these are the things that you do
9:16:32the seven key things to cause your
9:16:34children to grow up and feel terrific
9:16:36about
9:16:37themselves now this brings us to an
9:16:40important Point many parents who have
9:16:43been through our course at this point
9:16:45and earlier in this course feel very
9:16:47guilty and uneasy they feel a little bit
9:16:50tense because they know they've shouted
9:16:51at their kids they've been critical of
9:16:53their kids they've hurt their kids their
9:16:55kids are sometimes having personality
9:16:57problems their kids having problems with
9:16:59grades schools friends their kids have
9:17:01low self-esteem or feelings of
9:17:02inferiority and the parents are uneasy
9:17:05and tense because they realize that
9:17:07they've done to their children what
9:17:09their parents did to them and now
9:17:11they're looking at the they now they are
9:17:13reaping the Harvest if you like they're
9:17:15looking at their children and they
9:17:16realize that what your children are is
9:17:19more a result of what you have done and
9:17:21said to them than any other reason so
9:17:25here is the solution to that absolutely
9:17:27amazing it is possible for you to undo
9:17:30the past with this very simple technique
9:17:33first thing you do when you go home from
9:17:36this course is you gather your children
9:17:38around you you bring them around you and
9:17:41you sit them down and you apologize to
9:17:44them for all of your hitherto
9:17:46destructive criticism you say to them
9:17:49I've been to a course I understand the
9:17:51effect of destructive criticism
9:17:53and I'm sorry for every single thing I
9:17:57ever said or ever did that caused you to
9:17:59feel bad about yourself and I apologize
9:18:03and I ask you to accept my apology now
9:18:06this is the most incredible thing that a
9:18:08parent can do for a child because
9:18:11children want to love their parents and
9:18:13they want their parents to love them but
9:18:15it is the destructive criticism that
9:18:16builds a wall of distrust and fear and
9:18:19insecurity and when you as the parent
9:18:21and only you can do it when you as the
9:18:23parent apologize and say I'm sorry will
9:18:27you accept my apology the children feel
9:18:31suddenly liberated like a great weight
9:18:33has been removed from them now why do
9:18:35you do this well because the purpose is
9:18:37for you to accept 100% responsibility
9:18:40for everything guilt producing that
9:18:42you've ever done or said to them except
9:18:45100% responsibility and say I am
9:18:49responsible I'm sorry I apolog apologize
9:18:53will you accept my apology and your
9:18:55children will be absolutely amazed we've
9:18:58seen children whose entire lives have
9:19:02been transformed 15 16 year old children
9:19:04in reformatories and boys or girls home
9:19:07problem children that have been in
9:19:09trouble for years literally transformed
9:19:12overnight in personality I had a couple
9:19:16of parents go through this course not
9:19:17long ago and they went home and they had
9:19:19a 16-year-old daughter and there was no
9:19:21communication she was withdrawn she was
9:19:23shy she did not talk to the parents and
9:19:25her parents went home and sat her down
9:19:27and apologized to her they realized that
9:19:29they' been complaining and complaining
9:19:31and complaining do you know the average
9:19:32parent in America complains and
9:19:35criticizes their child eight times for
9:19:38every one time they praise the child
9:19:40eight times eight psychological lashes
9:19:43across the developing psyche or emotions
9:19:45of that child they realized they'd
9:19:47gotten into a habit of criticizing and
9:19:49complaining they went home and they
9:19:51apologized and they said she came down
9:19:53to breakfast the next day and she was
9:19:54transformed they said she was like like
9:19:57like a nighting gale she was happy she
9:19:59was laughing she was extroverted she and
9:20:01her mother became tremendous friends
9:20:03that she and her mother and her father
9:20:05began going out for dinner I mean it was
9:20:06just like like a miracle I saw a family
9:20:09once where the father had raised 10
9:20:11children he'd come from a negatively
9:20:13destructively critical environment and
9:20:15he had been destructively critical of
9:20:16his all his children many of them had
9:20:18serious marital problems some of them
9:20:20had serious psychological problems
9:20:22problems with with their spouses the
9:20:23oldest one was over 30 the youngest one
9:20:25was 14 at the end of the seminar they're
9:20:27all in there all the children all the
9:20:29spouses the father and mother at the end
9:20:31of the seminar he got up in the room and
9:20:34turned around and went from child to
9:20:36child and said I apologize will you
9:20:39forgive me and as he went to each child
9:20:42each child broke down in tears and
9:20:44started crying and by the time that
9:20:47Circle had been made everybody in the
9:20:49room was crying it was absolutely
9:20:50phenomenal and the family lit
9:20:53transformed overnight then the next
9:20:55thing you do so logical so obvious
9:20:58promise never to do it again promise
9:21:01never to do it
9:21:04again
9:21:08why to make sure that it's clear and
9:21:11then finally give them permission to
9:21:13remind you when you forget give them
9:21:15permission to remind you when you forget
9:21:19because you will forget or when you slip
9:21:22from time to
9:21:23time and make it let them
9:21:26say daddy is that destructive criticism
9:21:28or mommy is that destructive criticism
9:21:31and you say yes it is you're right I
9:21:34apologize you will find that if you make
9:21:36it a game to abolish destructive
9:21:39criticism this is your goal in your
9:21:41household do not allow destructive
9:21:44criticism in your household abolish
9:21:46destructive criticism do not allow
9:21:48anybody in your household to
9:21:50destructively criticize anybody else
9:21:52make it absolutely clear that you can
9:21:54argue you can fight you can disagree All
9:21:56Families do that but nobody is allowed
9:21:59to devalue or run down the other person
9:22:02make it a game and make sure that you
9:22:04catch each other and get it to the point
9:22:06where a person says is that destructive
9:22:07criticism or a person can say I don't
9:22:10accept that and if you made a mistake
9:22:11you back off and you say I'm sorry now
9:22:14with my little kids I learned this idea
9:22:18before my kids came along with my little
9:22:20kids what I said to them was what I say
9:22:22to him is do you forgive me I'm sorry I
9:22:24apologize do you forgive me and now
9:22:26sometimes we'll have an argument I'll
9:22:27send them to my bedroom their bedrooms
9:22:29and Michael will come to me and he came
9:22:31to me the other day and he said Daddy he
9:22:33said I forgive you for sending me to my
9:22:35bedroom and it was the cutest thing you
9:22:38could imagine I said Michael I'm sorry
9:22:40thank you very much I apologize and if
9:22:42you apologize all the time you keep the
9:22:44decks open now one final point that I
9:22:46don't want to forget is this is that in
9:22:47order to apologize to your children
9:22:50you've got to get your ego out of the
9:22:51way you have to put the mental health of
9:22:53your children ahead of anything else
9:22:55when you apologize you it takes courage
9:22:59and character for you to
9:23:02apologize it takes courage and character
9:23:04it takes tremendous strength for an
9:23:06adult to apologize to a child but when
9:23:08you lead by example you build courage
9:23:12and character in your children do you
9:23:14know how many people spent half of their
9:23:16times half of their life trying to avoid
9:23:19admitting I was wrong I made a mistake
9:23:22when you demonstrate courage and
9:23:24character to your children by saying I'm
9:23:26sorry I made a mistake we don't use
9:23:28destructive criticism in this house you
9:23:31demonstrate to them that they too can
9:23:34demonstrate courage and character they
9:23:35too can say I'm sorry I was wrong I made
9:23:37a mistake they too can apologize when
9:23:40they say or do something that hurts
9:23:42someone else and setting that example
9:23:44for your children sets them off on a
9:23:46foundation of high self-esteem of high
9:23:49self- value and enables them to spend
9:23:51their entire lives realizing their
9:23:54potential rather than compensating for
9:23:56their deficiencies it is the kindest
9:23:58thing that you can do for a child and I
9:24:00hope you do it for
9:24:12yours session 27 finding true purpose in
9:24:15life now we come to the final question
9:24:18what is the purpose of life what is the
9:24:20purpose of your life why are you here
9:24:23why do you exist at all why do you get
9:24:25up in the morning why do you have a life
9:24:27why are you on the earth is it simply to
9:24:30uh be born to grow up to work to
9:24:32reproduce to die or is there something
9:24:35else in my estimation there is something
9:24:38else something far more important in
9:24:40this session I want to talk to you about
9:24:42my discoveries and my thoughts about
9:24:43what the true purpose of life is the
9:24:45true purpose of life in my estimation is
9:24:49to find a mission some of the wisest men
9:24:52and women of this century and of
9:24:53previous centuries have looked at this
9:24:55whole idea of why a human being is put
9:24:58on this Earth and they've come to the
9:24:59conclusion that we have put on this
9:25:01Earth to fulfill our potential by
9:25:04finding our true mission in life EMT Fox
9:25:07calls this your heart's desire what is
9:25:10your heart's
9:25:11desire your heart's desire is something
9:25:14that is placed deep down inside you
9:25:16maybe even before you're born and it's
9:25:18something that calls to you and sings to
9:25:20you and lures you on throughout your
9:25:22life and the reason that we say that
9:25:24only one or two or five out of a 100
9:25:27people fulfill their potential in any
9:25:29given generation is because most people
9:25:31ignore the callings of this heart's
9:25:33desire they push it aside they ignore it
9:25:35they pretend it isn't there they get
9:25:37involved in bills and families and
9:25:38business and careers and this tugs at
9:25:41them sometimes they don't get into it
9:25:43until later on in life but every single
9:25:45person has the ability to establish for
9:25:48themselves a mission so then let's look
9:25:51at the men women who have affected
9:25:53Mankind in the most positive and
9:25:56profound way throughout all of history
9:25:58in our civilization in our culture the
9:26:01most powerful person was Jesus of
9:26:04Nazareth a humble Carpenter who preached
9:26:08for 3 years in Galilee and then died in
9:26:11Jerusalem but has had more of an impact
9:26:13on more people in this world than any
9:26:15other man who ever lived than all the
9:26:17other kings and all the other monarchs
9:26:18and dictators of History one simple man
9:26:21who never wrote a word never appeared on
9:26:23television never cut a record was the
9:26:25man who has had more influence than
9:26:27anyone else and Beyond Jesus there was
9:26:30Buddha the followers of Buddha and
9:26:32interestingly enough Buddha taught a
9:26:34very similar message to Jesus he taught
9:26:36the message of universal love he taught
9:26:39the message of the Brotherhood of all
9:26:42mankind that all of us are united in
9:26:45loving each other and also Muhammad and
9:26:48Muhammad has followers that number in
9:26:51the hundreds of Millions Buddha
9:26:52followers number almost a billion the
9:26:54followers of Jesus number probably two
9:26:57billion and if you look down the people
9:26:59who have been affected by them you have
9:27:01St Francis of
9:27:03aisi has had a profound influence
9:27:05establishing The Franciscan order you
9:27:07have in our day you have Mother Teresa
9:27:09of
9:27:11Kolkata having a profound influence you
9:27:13have my mentor Albert schwitzer of
9:27:18Africa s schwier DB t schwitzer and you
9:27:23have people like Florence Nightingale
9:27:25and others what is the unifying theme of
9:27:27these people a man named Ralph Waldo
9:27:29Trine wrote a wonderful book many years
9:27:31ago called what the whole world's a
9:27:34seeking what the whole world is looking
9:27:36for and his conclusion very wisely that
9:27:38what the whole world is looking for what
9:27:40you and I are looking for is some
9:27:42mission that we can lose ourselves in
9:27:46that somehow enriches and in Nobles and
9:27:49benefits the lives of other people in
9:27:51fact we have found that we only become
9:27:53great to the degree to which we are you
9:27:56are able to lose yourself in something
9:28:00bigger and grander and better than
9:28:03yourself that's why selfish people for
9:28:05instance people who think only of
9:28:07themselves are only to be pied because
9:28:09they never have any Joy or happiness or
9:28:11fulfillment now Mother Teresa or Albert
9:28:13schwier or some of these people maybe
9:28:14they never made very much money but the
9:28:16contribution that they made the model
9:28:19that they set the example that they set
9:28:20for us has affected more people than
9:28:23perhaps all the people who may have made
9:28:24money throughout all of history it's
9:28:27only when you find a mission in which
9:28:29you can lose
9:28:31yourself that you achieve true greatness
9:28:33in life from the time we began this
9:28:35seminar to now we have been aiming it at
9:28:38this one simple conclusion that the
9:28:40purpose of life your purpose your
9:28:43Earthly purpose is simply this it is to
9:28:47develop and become a totally loving
9:28:50person it is to look at the great models
9:28:52of mankind and you'll find that the
9:28:54great models of mankind the ones who
9:28:57have had an impact far beyond their
9:28:59times Jesus and Buddha and Muhammad and
9:29:02the teachers and Scholars of all the
9:29:03religions have been those who have
9:29:05strived toward becoming totally loving
9:29:08toward other people they have given
9:29:09their entire lives in service and
9:29:12service is the word how can you tell if
9:29:16you're a loving person you can tell by
9:29:18the value and the quality and the
9:29:20quantity of the service
9:29:22that you give to others unselfishly from
9:29:25your heart with no hope of reward now be
9:29:27by becoming totally loving persons
9:29:29there's a very simple measure we develop
9:29:31loving
9:29:32relationships that's why we talk about
9:29:34how important it is with regard to our
9:29:37marriages there are many people who want
9:29:39to go out in the world and develop
9:29:41loving relationships but they haven't
9:29:43yet developed those beautiful loving
9:29:45relationships at home with their spouses
9:29:47and with their children with their close
9:29:49friends so developing loveing
9:29:50relationships is the highest order of
9:29:53human life how can you tell because at
9:29:55any single time in your life if you want
9:29:56to take stock of your assets if you want
9:29:59to take stock of your accomplishments
9:30:01your most precious resources you will
9:30:04find that they will always be caught up
9:30:06in the people that you love and have
9:30:08loved and the people who love you and
9:30:11who have loved you that when you look
9:30:13back over the landscape of your life as
9:30:15and an adult or as an older person you
9:30:17look back and you'll find that you won't
9:30:19remember the money that you made or the
9:30:21careers that you or the jobs that you
9:30:23have what you'll remember is the people
9:30:25you loved and the people who loved you
9:30:26and the people who still do so
9:30:28developing a high quality in quantity of
9:30:30loving relationships is the great
9:30:33business of Life the people like Jesus
9:30:35and Buddha and Muhammad and St Francis
9:30:37and others of this day and previous days
9:30:39are men and women who committed their
9:30:41lives to serving others and they did it
9:30:44because they had this tremendous love to
9:30:46give away to mankind now how do you
9:30:48become a totally loving person it's not
9:30:50that complicated it's not easy but it is
9:30:53simple number one is accept yourself
9:30:56unconditionally accept yourself as a
9:30:59valuable and worthwhile human beings
9:31:01don't be the type of person who doesn't
9:31:03feel that they're good enough just
9:31:04accept yourself unconditionally
9:31:06recognize that you were put here on this
9:31:08Earth for a specific purpose a valuable
9:31:11purpose that God doesn't make anybody
9:31:13extra then God Don't Make No Junk that
9:31:15there is nobody on this earth that is
9:31:17here for no reason everybody has a
9:31:19purpose and your purpose is to find your
9:31:21purpose your purpose is to find your
9:31:23mission the place where you can make a
9:31:25significant contribution the second part
9:31:28of becoming a totally loving person is
9:31:30to accept total responsibility for
9:31:33everything that you are and everything
9:31:34that you become accept total
9:31:36responsibility which means no blaming no
9:31:41excuses just get on with it number three
9:31:45is learn to
9:31:47forgive again the key to the kingdom of
9:31:51heaven is forgiveness the key to the
9:31:54kingdom of heaven the key to all
9:31:55Spiritual Development the Straight Gate
9:31:58is forgiveness the ability to freely
9:32:01forgive other people no grudges no anger
9:32:05no frustration no grudges just let go of
9:32:08all grievances against you that's why it
9:32:10says in the Lord's Prayer it says and
9:32:12forgive us our sins as we forgive those
9:32:15who who have sinned against us number
9:32:17four is feed your mind with Loving
9:32:20Thoughts feed your mind with loving
9:32:23positive thoughts don't feed your mind
9:32:26with mental candy don't feed your mind
9:32:27with mental junk feed your mind with a
9:32:30kind of thoughts that are consistent
9:32:32with you becoming the very best person
9:32:34that you can possibly be number five is
9:32:37set noble goals and work toward them set
9:32:41noble goals and ideals to be the guiding
9:32:44lights of your life Noble ideals and
9:32:46values say to yourself are these the
9:32:49values are these the goals are these the
9:32:51ideals of the very best person that you
9:32:53could possibly be number six is take
9:32:56good care of your body take good care of
9:32:59your body remember the body is the
9:33:01Temple of the Soul take good care of
9:33:03your body put into it good food give it
9:33:06good exercise give it good rest give it
9:33:08good nutrition take good care of your
9:33:10body and number seven practice the
9:33:12Golden Rule practice the golden rule in
9:33:15that practice kindness patience
9:33:18tolerance more than anything else
9:33:20tolerance of the diversity and
9:33:21difference of other
9:33:23people toward others love understanding
9:33:27compassion remember everybody in the
9:33:29world is carrying a heavy load now as
9:33:31you practice these principles you will
9:33:35start to become a more and more loving
9:33:37person as you practice these principles
9:33:39you will find yourself drawn almost
9:33:42inevitably almost inexorably you'll find
9:33:45yourself drawn toward your mission
9:33:47you'll find yourself drawn toward the
9:33:49area of service now believe me one of
9:33:52the best areas of service in the whole
9:33:54world is the business world because our
9:33:56free enterprise system is based on
9:33:58serving other human beings but you can
9:34:00serve other people in any profession in
9:34:03any capacity you'll have an opportunity
9:34:05to give and to increase the quality and
9:34:07quantity of your service to others to
9:34:09enhance and enrich and uplift the lives
9:34:12of other people remember you're put on
9:34:14this Earth to do something for other
9:34:16people the measure of how well you're
9:34:18doing as a human being is very simply
9:34:21this is that you only have love to the
9:34:24degree to which you express love to
9:34:27others you only have love to the degree
9:34:30to which you express love to others in
9:34:33other words you do not have love in
9:34:35isolation of other human beings you
9:34:38cannot say I am a loving person without
9:34:40having loving relationships as the proof
9:34:43if you like you can only have love to
9:34:45the degree to which you feel love for
9:34:49other persons so the more you express
9:34:51love to other people and that's why we
9:34:53are given families and that's why we are
9:34:55given intimate relationships and that's
9:34:57why children are sent to us to teach us
9:34:59to develop our breadth and depth and
9:35:01capacity for love in such a way that we
9:35:03could never learn otherwise so we
9:35:06express love to others and then once you
9:35:09develop love for yourself by accepting
9:35:12yourself unconditionally practice giving
9:35:14your love away practice giving your love
9:35:18away you see an interesting thing about
9:35:20love is that
9:35:23love only Grows by sharing that love
9:35:27only Grows by sharing you cannot have
9:35:28any more love than you have right at
9:35:30this moment in your life except to the
9:35:32degree to which you give it away to
9:35:34other people so love only Grows by
9:35:41sharing now the wonderful thing is that
9:35:44the more you give away the more you have
9:35:47the more You Give Love Away the more you
9:35:49have so the more you give the more you
9:35:52have to give the less you give the less
9:35:55you have to give this is where the law
9:35:58the more you give the more you have you
9:36:01can never give it
9:36:02away this is where the law of sewing and
9:36:05reaping comes in more than anything else
9:36:08the law of compensation in that you if
9:36:10you give just a little bit of love away
9:36:14just a little bit it's enough because
9:36:17that alone will cause a flow to start
9:36:20coming back to you if you give a little
9:36:21bit more more will come back to you
9:36:23until you get onto the upward spiral of
9:36:25life now many years ago I met a
9:36:28beautiful grandmother who had come up in
9:36:29a home where her parents had taught her
9:36:32to be kind and compassionate and loving
9:36:35to others and when her parents died she
9:36:39went back and met with her other
9:36:41brothers and sisters to divide up their
9:36:43possessions and there only one thing
9:36:44that she wanted she'd married a very
9:36:46rich industrialist the only one thing
9:36:47she wanted was a little plaque that hung
9:36:49over the fireplace of that loving home
9:36:51home all the time she was growing up and
9:36:53on the plaque was a little quatrain or
9:36:55little verse and I when she told it to
9:36:57me I wrote it down and I'll share it
9:36:59with you and it said this it
9:37:00said only one life that soon has
9:37:04passed only what's done with love will
9:37:08last only one life that soon is passed
9:37:12only what's done with love will last now
9:37:16if you understand that you realize if
9:37:18you look back over your life you'll find
9:37:19that only the things that you did with
9:37:20love have lasted only the things that
9:37:23were done with love have had any lasting
9:37:25value and if you use that as your
9:37:27guiding organizing principle in life
9:37:29that only what's done with love will
9:37:31last you will start to move and evolve
9:37:34more surely toward the Stars the
9:37:36opposite of Love is fear the opposite of
9:37:40fear is love if fear is the great
9:37:42obstacle that holds us back from
9:37:43fulfilling our potential love is the
9:37:46great doorway that kicks open all the
9:37:48possibilities of the universe for us and
9:37:50if you will practice this first of all
9:37:52learn to love and accept yourself
9:37:54unconditionally you are valuable you are
9:37:57a valuable and worthwhile human being no
9:38:00matter what happens you are still a
9:38:02valuable and worthwhile human being love
9:38:05yourself unconditionally accept full
9:38:07responsibility for your life freely
9:38:10forgive others look for the best take
9:38:12care of yourself work on goals that are
9:38:14worthy of you set a mission that is
9:38:17challenging for you and practice giving
9:38:19your love away to others and you will
9:38:21develop more surely toward the Stars I
9:38:25wish you luck I wish you success I wish
9:38:29you love thank you very
9:38:32much this is the end of side two please
9:38:35fast forward the tape to the end to
9:38:36queue up side one for your next
9:38:38listening

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