Body Language Experts Break Down Job Interview Etiquette | WIRED — Transcript

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1. 0:00wear what you're going to use at the
2. 0:02interview in advance and be comfortable
3. 0:04make sure that your handshake is proper
4. 0:07sat uppr good posture eye contact but
5. 0:10you are not staring them
6. 0:15down the human body is always
7. 0:17transmitting the question is who is
8. 0:21receiving that
9. 0:28information the interview really starts
10. 0:32before the interview outside the door
11. 0:34already when someone hands in a CV or
12. 0:37their social media when you're parking
13. 0:39your car are you taking a space that is
14. 0:41not allowed are you greeting the
15. 0:43security person that is standing there I
16. 0:45remember going to an interview once and
17. 0:48the person that was going to interview
18. 0:50me was in the elevator with me sometimes
19. 0:52I give uh CEOs the advice sit down on
20. 0:54that reception stool and observe the
21. 0:57person who's coming in because then you
22. 0:59can also already see how they're
23. 1:00treating reception staff we assess each
24. 1:03other in milliseconds not even seconds
25. 1:07it's not just your body language or
26. 1:09facial expressions it's everything that
27. 1:11communicates some people are making
28. 1:13already judgments you have to make a
29. 1:15good impression first by understanding
30. 1:17that you have to make a good impression
31. 1:19selling yourself you're promoting
32. 1:21yourself so that's why you need to be
33. 1:22confident and be perceived as
34. 1:24trustworthy as well as competent know
35. 1:27what you're going to say what they're
36. 1:28going to ask you prepare prepare prepare
37. 1:30you don't have a copy of your CV and
38. 1:33they refer to it you now look less
39. 1:35prepared and if you hand it to somebody
40. 1:38hand it with value if you do it like
41. 1:40this you know bit of the turtleneck like
42. 1:42that completely different than this is
43. 1:44who I am and this is what I've done in
44. 1:49life as I walk into the room I have to
45. 1:52remember that I have to be respectful of
46. 1:54that room always make yourself known so
47. 1:57you walk up to them you shake hands can
48. 1:59can I sit here yes you can sit here I
49. 2:02have to make eye contact with everybody
50. 2:04in that room and that I have to treat
51. 2:07everybody equally and not focus on the
52. 2:10chair that you want to sit in but focus
53. 2:12on the people that are present in that
54. 2:13room as you make your introduction I
55. 2:15want to hear a strong voice I want to
56. 2:19see an upright posture I want to see the
57. 2:21chin up confidence No Hands In Pockets I
58. 2:24want to see your hands I want to see you
59. 2:26ready to engage in an interaction I will
60. 2:29shake everybody's hands equally I'm not
61. 2:31just going to focus on the highest
62. 2:33status person or or the
63. 2:37leader if you ask most people have you
64. 2:39ever had a bad handshake they yeah we
65. 2:42all have had those awful handshakes yeah
66. 2:45it was wet week this that whatever if we
67. 2:47are meeting up for the first time we
68. 2:50align ourselves and that we have a short
69. 2:52handshake usually it's like this if
70. 2:53you're giving me a very light handshake
71. 2:56I don't want to be grabbing at the
72. 2:57knuckles if you're giving me a really
73. 2:58strong handshake I I don't want to give
74. 3:00you a loose handshake back I'm going to
75. 3:01try and match your level of grip
76. 3:03especially when you're a woman I've had
77. 3:06so many bad handshakes because of the
78. 3:08strength that men probably want to
79. 3:10portray I still don't understand people
80. 3:12try and dominate a handshake never try
81. 3:14and dominate a handshake but what we do
82. 3:16see a lot too long and they keep shaking
83. 3:19like this all the time or they hold the
84. 3:22hand which makes it very uncomfortable
85. 3:24or they probe the hand which is the like
86. 3:26the finger like that keep all of my
87. 3:29fingers is below your wrist so up to the
88. 3:32point where they touch you here or here
89. 3:34or even here and that we would not
90. 3:36advise unless I know you very well it's
91. 3:38like hey how are you you know then it's
92. 3:40like oh so good to see you great humans
93. 3:42impress first visually then vocally tone
94. 3:46of voice then verbally and the last is
95. 3:50haptics through touch the brain
96. 3:52cataloges all this negative
97. 3:57stuff you have to let them set the stage
98. 4:00and the rules don't talk over them turn
99. 4:03yielding does this person ever shut up
100. 4:05some people start talking immediately hi
101. 4:07I'm here for the job and they start
102. 4:09selling themselves take a breath you
103. 4:11know what you're doing and speak
104. 4:14comfortably depending on how many people
105. 4:16you're talking to I would always wait
106. 4:18just to let them take up the moment of
107. 4:21interaction and to tell them what they
108. 4:23want from you show you are engaged you
109. 4:25are actively listening and you are in
110. 4:28the interaction present use your hands
111. 4:29and use your face to emphasize as
112. 4:31they're talking I want you to be nodding
113. 4:34along with what they're saying not too
114. 4:36much that you look like a Bubblehead you
115. 4:37want to have a slight head tilt when
116. 4:39you're talking to them especially when
117. 4:41you're trying to show empathy when
118. 4:43people ask a question make sure you
119. 4:45answer it don't be so busy talking that
120. 4:47you are not aware that you've been asked
121. 4:50a question I want to see you orientated
122. 4:52towards them because orientation
123. 4:54Behavior shows interest don't pick at
124. 4:57your clothing don't pick out lint and so
125. 4:59forth don't pring yourself even because
126. 5:02they are uncomfortable you might see a
127. 5:04self hug you know those kind of things
128. 5:06and we so do not advise that the best
129. 5:09conversations take place with comfort
130. 5:12for both parties I'm overly sat with my
131. 5:16shoulders back and my chest out trying
132. 5:18to be really really upright I look like
133. 5:21a robot if you are very comfortable like
134. 5:24that that is not that's not a good
135. 5:26portraying you will feel in your body
136. 5:30when it feels unnatural listen to
137. 5:32yourself feel comfortable and it should
138. 5:34feel natural everybody knows this but a
139. 5:37lot of people don't do it don't be
140. 5:38caught off guard with any question have
141. 5:41a trial interview have somebody just ask
142. 5:43you a few questions and see how you come
143. 5:45across and if you're clearing your
144. 5:47throat and you have to hesitate for too
145. 5:50long people don't like that hesitation
146. 5:52is a
147. 5:56killer always say thank you show them
148. 5:59respect expect by showing them you are
149. 6:02grateful for their time expect to you
150. 6:05know say goodbye and Shake Hands maybe
151. 6:08hand out a card if not you can just nod
152. 6:11validate everybody that you had the
153. 6:13opportunity this is the last time you
154. 6:15have a chance to influence remember the
155. 6:17interview is only over when you are
156. 6:19completely out of sight you leave the
157. 6:20room with proactiveness and a posture
158. 6:23that shows you're active or that you are
159. 6:26energetic to go for what you want to go
160. 6:28often if you feel that it went really
161. 6:30well people can completely relax and
162. 6:32they don't walk out the room with as
163. 6:34much confidence or as much Poise as they
164. 6:36came in the room you're only done after
165. 6:38you're back in your car home so maintain
166. 6:41that confidence level maintain that
167. 6:43posture maintain that Poise into are
168. 6:45fully out of the
169. 6:48room when it comes to Virtual
170. 6:50interaction you actually at an advantage
171. 6:53there's actually a lot more control is
172. 6:55the lighting good is the sound okay many
173. 6:57people have learned the hard way not to
174. 7:00use the camera that came with her
175. 7:01computer go out and buy that or borrow a
176. 7:04decent 4k camera you are in complete
177. 7:07control of your virtual space so you can
178. 7:10make sure that it's tidy that you don't
179. 7:12have things that are drawing attention
180. 7:14away there was somebody applying for a
181. 7:16high-end job and in the background there
182. 7:18was only liquor it might be in his
183. 7:20kitchen so you can say oh yeah well he's
184. 7:21got liquor in his kitchen but we pick up
185. 7:24on the liquor first and in our brain we
186. 7:26make an association eye contact is
187. 7:28really important virtually you just have
188. 7:30to remember that everything is now
189. 7:33exaggerated your gestures are now
190. 7:35reduced to 27 in that's what most
191. 7:38cameras capture they can't look at the
192. 7:40rest of your body so there's going to be
193. 7:42more emphasis on the face the other
194. 7:44difficult thing with zoom is the
195. 7:46technique so we have sometimes a delay
196. 7:49of a question and that feels awkward
197. 7:52sometimes like can I talk already or not
198. 7:54and you see the hesitation the turn
199. 7:56yielding is a bit delayed that can can
200. 7:59throw the interview interviewee or the
201. 8:01interviewer off so I have to be extra
202. 8:03alert on that when they are talking look
203. 8:05at the screen and when you are talking
204. 8:08look at the camera what people often do
205. 8:10is they look atsel when we are
206. 8:12constantly assessing our own nonverbals
207. 8:14it's really tiring and it's really
208. 8:16cognitively demanding and draining so it
209. 8:18creates what's called Zoom fatigue and
210. 8:20that will affect our nonverbals because
211. 8:22we're going to show fatigue we're going
212. 8:24to show disinterest in essence the rules
213. 8:26are the same the important thing is that
214. 8:28you understand that you have to be extra
215. 8:30alert of your body language because
216. 8:33there's no room for
217. 8:37interpretations the goal of any
218. 8:40interview as the interviewer is
219. 8:43information elicitation as the
220. 8:44interviewee is to show confidence
221. 8:47competence and Trust you're going to
222. 8:49create a conversation with that person
223. 8:51or you're going to ask questions as well
224. 8:53or you will have examples that really
225. 8:55apply to it you want to make the other
226. 8:57person feel comfortable you want to make
227. 9:00them feel that you are someone to be
228. 9:02trusted how did this person dress up are
229. 9:04your clothes clean or do you have food
230. 9:06on your clothes I mean I'm I'm relaying
231. 9:09here what I've heard from HR they're
232. 9:11assessing you because you're going to be
233. 9:13representing me we may have a great
234. 9:16brand name but it's your face your
235. 9:19present that's going to make that
236. 9:21difference there might be a hundred
237. 9:22people applying for that job if you come
238. 9:24prepared and you have a genuine
239. 9:26interaction with showing that you really
240. 9:28want it there's so much more chance in
241. 9:31that setting than oh I'm just here this
242. 9:33is my resume yeah please hire
243. 9:37me