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Better than the Movies by Lynn Painter | Full Audiobook 🎧 — Transcript

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0:00Simon and Schuster audio presents better
0:03than the movies by Lynn painter read by
0:06Jesse
0:10valinsky
0:13prologue I'm just a girl standing in
0:16front of a boy asking him to love her
0:20nodding
0:22Hill my mother taught me the golden rule
0:24of dating before I even hit the second
0:27grade at the ripe age of seven I'd SN
0:30into her room after having a nightmare a
0:32house-sized cricket might not sound
0:34scary but when it speaks in a robot
0:37voice and knows your middle name it is
0:40terrifying Bridget Jones's Diary was
0:42playing on the boxy television on top of
0:44the dresser and I'd watched a good
0:47portion of the movie before she even
0:49noticed me at the foot of her
0:51bed at that point it was too late to
0:53rescue me from the so not first grade
0:56friendly content so she snuggled up
0:59beside me
1:00and we watched the happy ending together
1:03but my first grade brain just couldn't
1:06compute why would Bridget give up the
1:08cuter one the Charming one for the
1:11person who was the equivalent of one
1:13ginormous yawn how did that even makees
1:17sense yep I'd missed the movie's Point
1:20completely and had fallen madly in love
1:22with the Playboy and to this day I can
1:26still hear my mom's voice and smell the
1:29vanilla of her her perfume as she played
1:31with my hair and set me
1:34straight charm and Intrigue can only get
1:37you so far
1:38liilu those things always disappear
1:42which is why you never ever choose the
1:44bad
1:45boy after that we shared hundreds of
1:49similar moments exploring life together
1:51through romantic
1:53movies it was our thing we'd snack up
1:57kick back on the pillows and binge watch
1:59from her collection of Kiss infused
2:01Happy Endings like other people binge
2:04watched trashy reality
2:06TV which in hindsight is probably why
2:09I've been waiting for the perfect
2:10romance since I was old enough to spell
2:12the word
2:13love and when she died my mother
2:17bequeathed to me her unwavering belief
2:19in happily ever after my inheritance was
2:23the knowledge that love is always in the
2:26air always a possibility and always
2:29worth it Mr Wright the nice guy
2:33Dependable
2:34version could be waiting around the very
2:37next
2:38Corner which was why I was always at the
2:41ready it was only a matter of time
2:44before it finally happened for
2:50me chapter
2:521 nobody finds their soulmate when
2:55they're 10 I mean where's the fun in
2:57that right sweet home Al
3:01Alabama the day began like any typical
3:04day Mr Fitz pervert left a hairball in
3:07my slipper I burned my earlobe with the
3:09straightener and when I opened the door
3:11to leave for school I caught my next
3:13door Nemesis suspiciously sprawled
3:16across the hood of my
3:17car hey I slid my sunglasses up my nose
3:22pulled the front door shut behind me and
3:24high tailed it in his Direction careful
3:26not to scuff my pretty new floral Flats
3:29as I basically ran at him get off of my
3:32car Wes jumped down and held up his
3:36hands in the Universal I'm innocent pose
3:39even though his smirk made him look
3:41anything but besides I'd known him since
3:44kindergarten the boy had never been
3:46innocent a day in his
3:48life what's in your hand nothing he put
3:53the hand in question behind his back
3:56even though he'd gotten tall and Manish
3:59and a tiny bit hot since grade school
4:01Wes was still the same immature boy
4:03who'd accidentally burned down my mom's
4:06rose bush with a fire cracker you're so
4:10paranoid he said I stopped in front of
4:14him and squinted up at his face Wes had
4:17one of those naughty boy faces the kind
4:20of face where his dark eyes surrounded
4:23by mile long thick lashes because life
4:26wasn't fair spoke volumes even when his
4:29mouth said nothing an eyebrow raise told
4:33me just how ridiculous he thought I was
4:36for our many less than Pleasant
4:38encounters I knew the narrowing of his
4:41eyes meant he was sizing me up and that
4:44we were about to throw down about the
4:46most recent annoyance he'd brought upon
4:48me and when he was brighte like he was
4:50right now his brown eyes practically
4:53freaking twinkling with Mischief I knew
4:56I was screwed because mischievous Wes
4:59always one I poked him in the chest what
5:04did you do to my car I didn't do
5:07anything to your car per se per se whoa
5:13watch your filthy mouth bucks
5:16bom I rolled my eyes which made his
5:19mouth slide into a wicked grin before he
5:23said this has been fun and I love your
5:26granny Shoes by the way but I've got to
5:28run Wes he turned and walked away from
5:32me like I hadn't been speaking just
5:36walked toward his house in that relaxed
5:39overconfident way of his when he got to
5:42the porch he opened the screen door and
5:44yelled to me over his shoulder have a
5:47good day
5:49Liz well that couldn't be good because
5:52there was no way he legitimately wanted
5:55me to have a good day I glanced down at
5:58my car appr ensive about even opening
6:01the
6:01door see Wes Bennett and I were enemies
6:05in a no holds B fullon War over the one
6:09parking spot on our end of the street he
6:12usually won but only because he was a
6:15dirtyy cheater he thought it was funny
6:18to reserve the spot for himself by
6:20leaving things in the space that I
6:22wasn't strong enough to move iron picnic
6:24table truck motor monster truck wheels
6:29you get it
6:30even though his Antics caught the
6:32attention of the neighborhood Facebook
6:33page my dad was a group member and the
6:36old gossips froed with rage at their
6:39keyboards over the blights on the
6:40neighborhood landscape not a single
6:43person had ever said anything to him or
6:45made him stop how is that even
6:48fair but I was the one riding the
6:51victory way for once because yesterday
6:53I'd had the brilliant idea to call the
6:55city after he'd decided to leave his car
6:58in the spot for 3 days in a row Omaha
7:02had a 24-hour ordinance so good old
7:05Wesley had earned himself a nice little
7:07parking
7:08ticket not going to lie I did a little
7:11happy dance in my kitchen when I saw the
7:13deputy slide that ticket underneath
7:15Wes's windshield
7:16wiper I checked all four tires before
7:19climbing into my car and buckling my
7:21seat belt I heard Wes laugh and then I
7:26leaned down to glare at him out the
7:27passenger window his front door slammed
7:31shut then I saw what he'd found so
7:35funny the parking ticket was now on my
7:38car stuck to the middle of the
7:40windshield with clear packing tape that
7:43was almost impossible to see through
7:46layers and layers of what appeared to be
7:48commercial grade packing tape I got out
7:51of the car and tried to pry up a corner
7:54with my fingernail but the edges had all
7:56been solidly flattened down
8:00what a
8:02tool when I finally made it to school
8:05after scraping my windshield with a
8:07razor blade and doing hardcore deep
8:09breathing to reclaim my zen I entered
8:12the building with the Bridget Jones's
8:14Diary soundtrack playing through my
8:16headphones I'd watched the movie The
8:18Night Before for the thousandth time in
8:20my life but this time the soundtrack had
8:23just spoken to me Mark Darcy saying oh
8:27yes they do while ing Bridget
8:30was of course as swoony as Hellfire but
8:33it wouldn't have been so oh my God
8:36worthy if not for Van Morris since
8:38someone like you playing in the
8:40background yeah I have a nerd level
8:43fascination with movie
8:45soundtracks the song came on as I went
8:48past the commons and made my way through
8:49the crowds of students clogging up the
8:52Halls my favorite thing about music when
8:55you played it loud enough through good
8:57headphones and I had the best
9:00was that it softened the edges of the
9:03world Van Morrison's voice made swimming
9:06Upstream in the busy hallway seemed like
9:09it was a scene from a movie as opposed
9:11to the royal pain that it actually
9:14was I headed toward the second floor
9:16bathroom where I met Joselyn every
9:19morning my best friend was a Perpetual
9:21overs sleeper so there was really a day
9:24when she wasn't scrambling to put on her
9:25eyeliner before the bell rang Liz I love
9:30the dress Jos threw me a side glance
9:33between cleaning up each eye with a
9:35cotton swab as we walked into the
9:37bathroom she pulled out a tube of
9:39mascara and began swiping the wand over
9:41her lashes the flowers are so you thanks
9:46I went over to the mirror and did a turn
9:48to make sure the Vintage a-line dress
9:51wasn't stuck in my underwear or
9:53something equally embarrassing two
9:55cheerleaders surrounded by a puff of
9:57White Cloud were vaping behind us
10:00and I gave them a closed mouth
10:02smile do you try to dress like the leads
10:05in your movies or is it a coincidence
10:08Jos asked don't say your movies like I'm
10:12addicted to porn or something you know
10:15what I mean Jos said as she separated
10:18her lashes with a safety pin I knew
10:22exactly what she meant I watched my
10:24mom's beloved romcoms practically every
10:27night using her DVD collection I'd
10:29inherited when she died I felt closer to
10:33my mother when I watched them it felt
10:36like a tiny piece of her was there
10:39watching beside me probably because we'd
10:42watched them together so many
10:46times but Jocelyn didn't know any of
10:49that we'd grown up on the same street
10:52but hadn't become actual good friends
10:54until sophomore year so even though she
10:57knew my mom had died when I was in in
10:59fifth grade we'd never really talked
11:02about it she had always assumed I was
11:04obsessed with love because I was
11:07hopelessly
11:08romantic I never corrected her hey did
11:12you ask your dad about the senior picnic
11:14Jos looked at me in the mirror and I
11:17knew she was going to be
11:19irritated honestly I was surprised that
11:21wasn't the first thing she asked me when
11:23I walked
11:24in he wasn't home last night until after
11:26I went to bed it was the truth
11:29but I could have asked Helena if I'd
11:32really wanted to discuss it I'll talk to
11:35him today sure you will she Twisted the
11:39mascara closed and shoved it into her
11:41makeup B I will I promise come on
11:46Joselyn stuck her makeup bag into her
11:48backpack and grabbed her coffee I Can't
11:50Be Tardy to LIT again or I'll get
11:52detention and I told Kate I'd drop gum
11:55by her locker on the way I adjusted the
11:57messenger bag on my shoulder and caught
12:00a glimpse of my face in the mirror wait
12:03I forgot lipstick we don't have time for
12:05lipstick there's always time for
12:08lipstick I unzipped the side pouch and
12:11pulled out my new fave retrograde red on
12:14the off chance so very off chance my
12:18McDreamy was in the building I wanted
12:20good mouth you go ahead she left and I
12:25rubbed the color over my lips much
12:28better I tucked the lipstick back into
12:30my bag replaced my headphones and exited
12:33the restroom hitting play and letting
12:35the rest of the Bridget Jones soundtrack
12:37wrap itself around my
12:39psyche when I got to English Lit I
12:42walked to the back of the room and took
12:44a seat at the desk between Jos and Lanie
12:46Morgan sliding my headphones down to my
12:49neck what did you put for number eight
12:52josin was writing fast while she talked
12:54to me finishing her homework I forgot
12:57about the reading so I have no idea a
12:59why Gatsby's shirts made Daisy
13:01cry I pulled out my worksheet and let
13:04Jos copy my answer but my eyes shifted
13:07over to Lany if surveyed everyone on the
13:11planet would unanimously agree that the
13:13girl was beautiful it was an
13:15indisputable fact she had one of those
13:18noses that was so adorable its existence
13:21had surely created the need for the word
13:24per her eyes were huge like a Disney
13:27princess's and her blonde hair was
13:29always shiny and soft and looked like it
13:32belonged in a shampoo
13:34commercial too bad her soul was the
13:37exact opposite of her physical
13:39appearance I disliked her so very much
13:43on the first day of kindergarten she'd
13:45yelled ew when I'd gotten a bloody nose
13:49pointing at my face until the entire
13:52class gawked at me in disgust in third
13:55grade she told Dave Adelman that my
13:58notebook was full of love notes about
14:00him she'd been right but that wasn't the
14:03point Lany had blabbed to him and
14:06instead of being sweet or charming like
14:08the movies had led me to believe he'd be
14:11David had called me a
14:13weirdo and in fifth grade not long after
14:16my mom had died and I'd been forced to
14:19sit by Laney in the lunchroom due to a
14:21signed seating every day as I picked at
14:24my barely edible hot lunch she would
14:27unzip her pastel pink lunch box
14:29and wow the entire table with the
14:31Delights her mother had made just for
14:33her sandwiches cut into adorable shapes
14:37homemade cookies brownies with
14:40sprinkles it had been a treasure Trove
14:43of kitty culinary masterpieces each one
14:46more lovingly prepared than the
14:49last but the notes were what had
14:51destroyed me there wasn't a single day
14:55that her lunch didn't include a
14:56handwritten note from her mom they were
14:59funny little letters that Lanie used to
15:01read out loud to her friends with silly
15:04drawings in the
15:05margins and if I allowed my snooping
15:08eyes to stray to the bottom where it
15:10said love Mom in curly cursive with
15:14doodled hearts around it I would get so
15:18sad that I couldn't even eat to this day
15:21everyone thought Laney was great and
15:23pretty and
15:24smart but I knew the truth she might
15:28pretend to be nice but for as long as I
15:30could remember she'd given me crusty
15:33weird looks as in every single time the
15:36girl looked at me it was like I had
15:38something on my face and she couldn't
15:40decide if she was grossed out or
15:43amused she was rotting under all that
15:45beauty and someday the rest of the world
15:48would see what I
15:49saw come Lany held out a pack of doubl
15:53Min with her perfectly arched eyebrows
15:56raised no thanks I muttered and turned
16:00my attention to the front of the room
16:02where Mrs Adams came in and asked for
16:04homework we passed our papers forward
16:07and she started talking about literary
16:09things everyone began taking notes on
16:12their school issued laptops and Colton
16:14Sparks gave me a chin nod from his desk
16:17in the corner I smiled and looked down
16:20at my
16:21computer Colton was nice I'd talked to
16:24him for a solid two weeks at the
16:26beginning of the year but that had
16:28turned out out to be me which kind of
16:31summed up the whole of my Collective
16:33dating history
16:35actually
16:37Me 2 weeks that was the average length
16:40of my
16:41relationships if you could even call
16:43them
16:44that here's how it usually went I would
16:47see a cute guy daydream about him for
16:50weeks and totally build him up in my
16:53mind to be my one and only
16:55soulmate the usual high school
16:57pre-relationship stuff always began with
16:59the greatest of hopes but by the end of
17:022 weeks before we even got close to
17:05official I almost always got hit with
17:08the ick the death sentence to all
17:11blossoming
17:13relationships definition of the ick a
17:16dating term that refers to a sudden
17:18cringe feeling one gets when they have
17:21romantic contact with someone and they
17:23become almost immediately put off by
17:26them Jos said I was always is browsing
17:29but never
17:30buying and she ended up being right but
17:34my propensity for tiny little two-e
17:36relationships really messed with prom
17:39potential I wanted to go with someone
17:41who made my breath catch and my heart
17:44flutter but who was even left in the
17:47school that I hadn't already
17:49considered I mean technically I had a
17:53prom date I was going with Jos it's just
17:57going to prom with my best friend felt
17:59like such a
18:00fail I knew we'd have a good time we
18:03were grabbing dinner beforehand with
18:05Kate and Cassidy the funnest of our
18:07little friend group but prom was
18:10supposed to be the Pinnacle of high
18:12school romance it was supposed to be
18:15posterboard prom posals matching
18:17corsages speechless awe over the way you
18:20look in your dress and sweet kisses
18:23under the cheesy disco
18:24ball Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald
18:28pretty and pinks of
18:29it wasn't about friends grabbing
18:32dinner at the Cheesecake Factory before
18:33heading up to the high school for
18:35awkward conversation while the coupled
18:37off couples found their way to the
18:39infamous grinding
18:41wall I knew Joselyn wouldn't get it she
18:45thought prom was no big deal just a high
18:48school dance that you dressed up for and
18:51she would find me completely ridiculous
18:53if I admitted to being
18:55disappointed she was already peeved by
18:58the fact that kept blowing her off on
19:00dress
19:00shopping but I never felt like
19:03going at
19:05all my phone buzzed Jos I have big
19:11tea I looked over at her but she
19:14appeared to be listening to Mrs Adams I
19:17glanced at the teacher before
19:19responding spill it Jos FYI I got it via
19:24text from Kate me so it might not be
19:28true got it
19:30the bell rang so I grabbed my stuff and
19:32shoved it into my bag Joselyn and I
19:35started walking toward our lockers and
19:36she said before I tell you you have to
19:40promise you're not going to get all
19:41worked up before you hear everything oh
19:44my God my stomach stress dropped and I
19:48asked what's going on we turned down the
19:51west wing and before I had a chance to
19:54even look at her I saw him walking
19:57toward me
19:59Michael
20:00Young I came to a complete
20:04Halt and there's my tea Jos said but I
20:10wasn't
20:11listening people bumped off me and went
20:14around me as I stood there and
20:17stared he looked the same only taller
20:21and broader and more
20:24attractive if that was even a
20:27possibility my my childhood Crush moved
20:30in slow motion with tiny blue birds
20:34chirping and flitting their wings around
20:36his head as his Golden Hair blew in a
20:39sparkling
20:41Breeze I think my heart might have
20:44stopped Michael had lived down the
20:46street when we were little and he'd been
20:49everything to me I'd loved him as far
20:53back as I could
20:54remember he'd always been Next Level
20:57amazing
20:59smart sophisticated and I don't know
21:04dreamier than any other boy he'd run
21:07around with the neighborhood kids me Wes
21:11the Potter boys on the corner and
21:13Joselyn doing typical neighborhood
21:15things playing hide and seek tag touch
21:19football ding-dong ditch
21:22Etc but while Wes and The Potters had
21:24enjoyed things like flinging mud into my
21:27hair because it made me scream
21:29Michael had been doing things like
21:31identifying leaves reading thick books
21:35and not joining in on their
21:38torture my brain queued up someone like
21:41you and the song started over from the
21:44beginning I've been searching a long
21:47time for someone exactly like
21:50you he was wearing khakis and a nice
21:53black shirt the kind of outfit that
21:55showed he knew what looked good but also
21:58didn't spend too much time on fashion
22:01his hair was thick and blonde and styled
22:04the same as his clothes intentionally
22:07casual I wondered what it smelled like
22:11his hair not his
22:13clothes he must have sensed a stalker in
22:16his midst because the slow-mo stopped
22:19the birds disappeared and he looked
22:21right at
22:22me
22:24Liz I was so happy that I'd taken the
22:27time to apply retrograde grade read
22:29clearly the cosmos had known Michael
22:32would be appearing before me that day so
22:35it had done everything in its power to
22:37make me
22:38presentable girl
22:41chill Jos said between her teeth but I
22:45was helpless to stop the whole face
22:47smile that broke free as I
22:49said Michael
22:51Young I heard Jos mutter here we
22:55go but I did not care
22:59Michael came over and wrapped me in a
23:01hug and I let my hands slide around his
23:05shoulders oh my God oh my God my stomach
23:09went wild as I felt his fingers on my
23:11back and I realized that we could very
23:14well be having our meat
23:16cute oh my
23:20God I was stressed for it he was
23:23beautiful could this moment be more
23:26perfect I made eye contact with
23:29who was slowly shaking her head but it
23:31didn't matter Michael was back he
23:35smelled good so so good and I wanted to
23:39catalog every tiny detail of the moment
23:43the soft worn in feel of his shirt under
23:45my Palms the breadth of his shoulders
23:49the golden skin of his neck scant
23:51centimeters away from my face as I
23:53hugged him
23:55back was it wrong to close my eyes and
23:58take a deep
24:00breath someone bumped into us hard
24:04destroying the hug I was shoved into and
24:08then away from Michael and as I turned
24:11around I saw who it
24:13was Wes I said irritated that he'd
24:17ruined our moment but so unbelievably
24:20happy still that I beamed at him anyway
24:23I was incapable of not
24:25smiling you should really watch where
24:27you're going
24:29his eyebrows crinkled
24:32together
24:34yeah he was watching me probably
24:37wondering why I was smiling instead of
24:39going ballistic over the packing tape
24:41incident he looked like someone waiting
24:43for the punch line and his confusion
24:46kicked up my happiness to an even higher
24:48level I giggled and said yeah you big
24:52doof you could really hurt someone
24:56buddy he narrowed his eyes and talked
25:01slower
25:03sorry I was talking to Carson and doing
25:07the extremely difficult backward walking
25:10thing but enough about me how was your
25:14drive to
25:15school I knew he wanted to hear all the
25:18details like how long it had taken me to
25:20remove the tape or the fact that I'd
25:23broken two freshly manicured nails but I
25:26wasn't about to give that aggravated the
25:29satisfaction really really great thanks
25:32for
25:33asking
25:35Wesley Michael did a bro handshake with
25:38Wes when had they had time to
25:41choreograph that little touch of
25:43adorability and said you were right on
25:46about the biology teacher it's because
25:48you sat by me she hates
25:52me Wes grinned and started talking but I
25:56ignored that tool and watched Michael
25:58speak and laugh and be as sweetly
26:01Charming as I'd remembered only now he
26:04had a slightly Southern
26:06draw Michael Young had a soft accent
26:09that made me want to personally
26:11handwrite a thank you note to the great
26:13state of Texas for making him even more
26:15appealing than he'd already been I
26:18crossed my arms and pretty much melted
26:21into a puddle as I enjoyed the view
26:24Joselyn who I might have forgotten
26:27existed in the presence of such lovely
26:28Michael Hood nudged me with her elbow
26:31and
26:32whispered settle down you're drooling
26:35all over
26:37yourself I rolled my eyes and ignored
26:40her Hey listen Wes hitched up his
26:43backpack and pointed at Michael remember
26:46Ryan Clark of course Michael smiled and
26:51looked like a congressional intern first
26:54basan right
26:56exactly Wes lowered his his voice
26:59Rhino's having a party tomorrow at his
27:01dad's you should totally
27:04come I tried to keep my expression
27:06neutral as I listened to Wes ask my
27:09Michael to come to his party I mean Wes
27:14did hang out with the guys that Michael
27:16used to know but still they were best
27:19friends all of a sudden or
27:21something that wouldn't be good for me
27:24couldn't be because Wes Bennett got off
27:27on messing with with me he always had in
27:30grade school Wes was the guy who' put a
27:33frog in my Barbie Dreamhouse and a
27:35decapitated lawn gnome's severed head in
27:38my homemade little Free Library in
27:40middle school he was the guy who thought
27:42it was hilarious to pretend he didn't
27:44see me when I was lying out and then
27:47water his mom's bushes accidentally
27:50spraying the hose right over me until I
27:52screamed and now in high school he was
27:56the guy who'd made it his mission to
27:58grassp me daily over the spot I'd grown
28:01a backbone since we were kids so
28:03technically now I was the girl who
28:05yelled over the fence when his jock
28:07friends were over and they were so rowdy
28:09I could hear them over my music but
28:12still sounds good Michael said with a
28:15nod and I wondered what he'd look like
28:18in a cowboy hat and flannel shirt maybe
28:21a pair of kickers even though I
28:24didn't technically know what
28:26differentiated a kicker from a
28:27regular cowboy boot I'd have to Google
28:30it
28:30later I'll text you the details I got to
28:34go if I'm late to my next class I've got
28:36detention for sure he turned and started
28:39jogging in the other direction with a
28:41yell of later
28:43guys Michael watched Wes's disappearance
28:46before looking down at me and
28:48drawing he lit out of here so fast I
28:51didn't get to ask is it casual
28:55dress what um the party like I had any
29:00idea what they wore to their jockstrap
29:03parties
29:05probably I'll ask
29:07Wesley
29:09cool I worked to give him my topshelf
29:12smile even though I was dying over the
29:14fact that Wes had screwed up my meat
29:17cute I've got to run too he said but
29:21added I can't wait to catch up though
29:24then take me with you to the party I
29:27yelled internally
29:29J Michael looked past me and his mouth
29:32dropped open is that you she rolled her
29:37eyes took you long
29:39enough Joselyn had always been closer to
29:42the neighborhood boys playing football
29:44with Wes and Michael while I did awful
29:47cartwheels around the park and made up
29:49songs since then she'd turned into this
29:52tall and freakishly good-looking human
29:55today her braids were all pulled back
29:58into a ponytail but instead of looking
30:00messy like when I wore a ponytail it
30:04showed off her
30:05cheekbones the warning bell rang and he
30:07pointed up at the speaker that's me see
30:11y'all
30:12later
30:13y'all he went the other way and Joselyn
30:16and I started walking I said I can't
30:20believe Wes didn't invite us to the
30:22party she gave me side eye do you even
30:26know who Rhino is
30:28no but that's beside the point he
30:31invited Michael right in front of us
30:33it's common courtesy that he should
30:34invite us
30:36too but you hate Wes
30:39so so why would you want him to invite
30:42you
30:43anywhere I
30:45sigh his rudess just pisses me
30:48off well I for one am glad he didn't
30:52because I don't want to go to any party
30:54that those guys are having I've been to
30:57rhinos and it's all about beer bongs
31:00Fireball and that never have I ever kind
31:02of immature
31:03stuff Jos used to hang out with the
31:06popular kids before she quit volleyball
31:09so she'd partied a little before we
31:11became
31:12friends but listen Joselyn stopped
31:16walking and grabbed my arm to stop me
31:18from walking
31:19too that's what I was going to tell you
31:22Kate said he lives next door to Lanie
31:24and they've been talking for a couple
31:26weeks now
31:28Laney Laney
31:31Morgan no it couldn't be true no no no
31:36no please God no but he just got here
31:39apparently he moved back a month ago but
31:42was finishing classes online at his
31:43other school rumor has it that he and
31:46Laney are almost
31:48official not
31:50Lany my stomach clenched as I pictured
31:53her perfect little nose I knew it was
31:56irrational but the idea of Lany and
31:59Michael was almost too much for me to
32:01bear that girl always got everything I
32:04wanted she couldn't have him damn
32:07it the thought of them together made my
32:10throat tight it made my heart hurt it
32:14would crush me because not only was he
32:17everything I daydreamed about but he and
32:20I had
32:21history the wonderful important kind of
32:24history that involved drinking from
32:26garden hoses and catching lightning
32:29bugs I thought back to the last time i'
32:31had seen Michael it had been at his
32:34house his family had had a cookout to
32:37say goodbye to all the neighbors and I'd
32:39walked over with my
32:40parents my mom had made her famous
32:43cheesecake bars and Michael had met us
32:45at the door and offered us drinks like
32:48he was a
32:49grown-up my mom had called it the most
32:51adorable thing she'd ever
32:53seen all the neighborhood kids played
32:56kickball in the street for hours that
32:58night and the adults even joined us for
33:00a game at one point my mother was
33:03high-fiving Michael after stealing home
33:05base in her floral sundress and wedge
33:08sandals that moment was pressed in my
33:10memories like a yellowed photograph in
33:13an antique
33:14album I don't think Michael ever had a
33:17clue as to how madly in love with him
33:19I'd been they moved a month before my
33:22mom died breaking the tip of my soon to
33:26be shattered heart
33:28Joselyn looked at me like she knew
33:30exactly what I was
33:32thinking Michael Young is not your
33:34racing to the train station dude got it
33:38but he could
33:39be well technically they aren't official
33:42yet so we started walking again dodging
33:46bodies as we headed for her locker we
33:49were probably going to be late because
33:51of our impromptu to hallway meet up with
33:53Michael but it would totally be worth it
33:56seriously don't be that girl she gave me
33:59her motherly
34:01scowl that there with Michael was not
34:03your meat
34:05cute but I didn't even want to say it
34:09because I didn't want her to shoot it
34:10down still I almost squealed when I said
34:14what if it
34:15was oh my God I knew the second I heard
34:19he was back that you were going to lose
34:21it her eyebrows went down and so did the
34:25corners of her lips as she stopped in
34:27front of the locker and turned the lock
34:30you don't even know the guy anymore
34:32Liz I could still hear his deep voice
34:35saying y'all and my stomach
34:38dipped I know everything I need to know
34:42she sighed and pulled out her
34:44backpack is there anything I can say to
34:47yank you back from
34:49this I tilted my
34:51head um he hates cats maybe she held up
34:56a finger that's right I forgot he hates
35:00cats he does not I grinned and sighed
35:06thinking
35:07back he used to have these two snarky
35:09cats that he
35:11adored you should have seen the way he
35:13treated those
35:14babies
35:16ew whatever hater of
35:19felines I felt alive buzzing with the
35:22thrill of romantic possibilities as I
35:24leaned against the closed Locker next
35:26door
35:28Michael Young is fair game until I hear
35:30an official
35:32Proclamation I can't talk to you when
35:34you're like this happy excited
35:38hopeful I wanted to skip down the hall
35:41yell singing paper
35:43rings
35:45delusional Joselyn looked at her phone
35:47for a minute then back at me hey my mom
35:51said she can take us dress shopping
35:52tomorrow night if you
35:54want my mind went blank I had to say
35:59something I think I have to work she
36:02narrowed her
36:03eyes every time I bring it up you have
36:06to work don't you want to get a
36:09dress sure yeah I forced up the corners
36:14of my
36:15mouth of
36:17course but the truth was that I so did
36:20not the thrill of the dress was its
36:23ability to inspire romance to make one's
36:26date speechless
36:28if that factor wasn't in play the prom
36:30dress was just an overpriced waste of
36:33fabric adding to that there was the
36:36screaming fact that shopping with
36:37Jocelyn's mom for dresses was just a
36:40huge reminder that my mom wasn't there
36:42to join us which made it a wildly
36:45unappealing
36:46outing my mother wouldn't be there to
36:49take pictures and get te as her baby
36:52attended the final dance of her
36:54childhood and nothing made that hit home
36:58quite like seeing Joss's mom do those
37:00things for her to be honest I hadn't
37:03been emotionally prepared for the
37:04emptiness that seemed to accompany my
37:07senior year the many reminders of my
37:10mom's
37:11absence senior pictures homecoming
37:16college applications prom
37:20graduation as everyone I knew got
37:22excited about those High School
37:24benchmarks I got stress headaches
37:26because nothing felt the way I'd planned
37:29for it to
37:30feel everything
37:32felt
37:34lonely because even though the senior
37:37activities were fun without my mom they
37:40were void of
37:41sentimentality my Dad tried to be
37:44involved he really did but he wasn't an
37:47emotional guy so it always just felt
37:50like he was the official photographer as
37:52I traversed the highlights
37:55alone meanwhile Jos didn't
37:57understand why I didn't want to make a
37:59big deal out of every single senior
38:01Milestone like she did she'd been pissed
38:05at me for 3 days when I'd blown off the
38:07spring break trip to the beach but it
38:09had felt more like an exam I was
38:11dreading than an actual good
38:13time and I just
38:15couldn't however finding a romcom happy
38:19ending that my mother would have loved
38:22that could change all the bad feels to
38:24good couldn't it
38:27I smiled at
38:29Jocelyn I'll text you after I check my
38:35schedule chapter
38:372 a woman friend this is amazing you may
38:41be the first attractive woman I have not
38:43wanted to sleep with in my entire life
38:46When Harry Met
38:48Sally Michael was back I propped my feet
38:52up on the kitchen table and dug my spoon
38:54into the container of a maricone dream
38:56still beside myself with giddiness in my
39:00wildest dreams I wouldn't have imagined
39:02the return of Michael Young I didn't
39:05think I'd ever see him
39:07again after he moved I daydreamed for
39:10years about him coming back I used to
39:13imagine I was out taking a walk on one
39:15of those gloriously cold Autumn days
39:18that whispered of Winter the air
39:20smelling like snow I'd be wearing my
39:23favorite outfit which changed with each
39:26imagining of course
39:27because this fantasy started back in
39:29grade school and when I'd turn the
39:31corner at the end of the block there
39:34he'd be walking toward
39:36me I think there was even romantic
39:39running involved I mean why wouldn't
39:41there be there were also no less than a
39:45100 brokenhearted entries in my
39:46childhood diaries about his exit from my
39:49life I'd found them a few years ago when
39:52we were cleaning out the garage and the
39:54entries were surprisingly dark for a
39:56little kid
39:58probably because his absence in my life
40:00was timed so closely with my mother's
40:03death eventually I'd accepted that
40:06neither of them were coming
40:08back but now he'd returned and it felt
40:12like getting a little piece of Happiness
40:14back I didn't have any classes with him
40:17so fate couldn't intervene by throwing
40:19us together which sucked so badly I mean
40:24what were the odds that we'd have zero
40:26occasions for forced interaction Jos had
40:29a class with him and clearly Wes did as
40:31well why not me how was I supposed to
40:35show him we were meant to go to prom and
40:37fall in love and live happily ever after
40:40when I didn't never see him I hummed
40:42along to Anna of the North in my
40:44headphones the sexy hot tub song from to
40:47all the boys I've Loved Before and
40:49stared out the window at the rain the
40:52one thing in my favor was that I was
40:55kind of a love expert I didn't a degree
40:58and I hadn't taken any classes but I'd
41:01watched thousands of hours of romantic
41:03comedies in my life and I hadn't just
41:06watched I'd analyzed them with the
41:09observational Acuity of a clinical
41:12psychologist not only that but love was
41:15in my
41:16jeans my mother had been a screenwriter
41:19who'd churn out a lot of great small
41:21screen romantic comedies my dad was 100%
41:25certain that she would have been the
41:26next Nora ever R if she'd just had a
41:29little more time so even though I had
41:32zero practical experience between my
41:34inherited knowledge and my extens of
41:36research I knew a lot about love and
41:40everything I knew made me certain that
41:42in order for Michael and me to happen I
41:45would need to be at Rhino's party which
41:47wasn't going to be easy because not only
41:50did I have no idea who Rhino even was
41:53but I had zero interest in attending a
41:55party filled with the jocks sweaty
41:57armpits and the populars stinky beer
42:01breath but I needed to get reacquainted
42:03with Michael before some awful blonde
42:05who shall remain nameless beat me to him
42:09so I'd have to find a way to make it
42:11work lightning shot across the sky and
42:14illuminated Wes's big car all snuggled
42:17up against the curb in front of my house
42:20rain bouncing hard off of its hood that
42:23ass bag had been right behind me all the
42:25way home from school and when I'd pulled
42:27forward to properly parallel park he'd
42:30slid right into the spot what kind of
42:33monster parked nose first in a street
42:35spot as I honked and yelled at him
42:38through the torrential downpour he waved
42:40to me and ran inside his house I ended
42:43up having to park around the corner in
42:45front of Mrs scarpelli's duplex and my
42:48hair and dress had been drenched by the
42:50time I burst through my front door don't
42:53even ask about the new
42:55shoes I licked off the spoon and wished
42:58Michael lived next door instead of
43:01Wes then it hit me holy God Wes was my
43:06Inn Wes who had invited Michael to the
43:09party in the first place would obviously
43:12be
43:12attending what if he could get me
43:15in although he didn't do things to help
43:19me like ever Wes's Joy was derived from
43:24torture not
43:26generosity so how could I convince him
43:29what could I give him I needed to come
43:32up with something some tangible thing
43:36that would get him to help me out and
43:38keep his mouth shut at the same time I
43:42dig out another spoonful of ice cream
43:44and put it in my mouth stared out the
43:47window this was a
43:51no-brainer well well Wes stood inside
43:55his house behind the screen door looking
43:57out at me in the rain with a smirk on
43:59his face to what do I owe this
44:03honor let me in I need to talk I don't
44:07know are you going to hurt me if I let
44:09you in come on I said through gritted
44:13teeth as the driving rain pelted my head
44:17I'm getting drenched out here I know and
44:20I'm sorry but I am seriously afraid
44:23you're going to junk punch me for
44:24stealing the spot if I let you come
44:26inside
44:28he opened the door a crack enough to
44:30show me how warm and dry he looked in
44:32jeans and a t-shirt and said you're a
44:36little scary sometimes Liz
44:39Wes Wes's mom came up behind him and
44:43looked horrified as she saw me standing
44:45out in the rain for the love of God open
44:48the door for the poor
44:50girl but I think she's here to kill me
44:53he said it like a scared little kid and
44:56I could tell his mom was trying not to
44:58smile get inside Liz Wes's mom grabbed
45:02my arm and gently pulled me Across the
45:05Threshold to where it was warm and
45:07smelled like dryer
45:08sheets my son is a nuisance and he's
45:12sorry no I'm not tell me what he did and
45:16I'll help you punish
45:17him I pushed the wet hair off my face
45:21looked directly at him and said to his
45:23mom he stole my spot when I was trying
45:25to parallel park
45:28oh my God you told my mom on me Wes
45:32closed the front door and followed me
45:34and his mother
45:35inside well if we're randomly tattling
45:39mom I should probably tell you that Liz
45:41was the one who called the cops on my
45:42car when I had
45:44pneumonia wait what I stopped and turned
45:48around when were you
45:50sick well when did you call he put both
45:55hands on his heart fake coughed and
45:58said I was too ill to even move my
46:02car
46:04stop I didn't know if he was messing
46:06with me or not but I suspected he wasn't
46:10and I felt like a monster because as
46:12much as I loved besting him I didn't
46:15like the thought of him being
46:17sick were you seriously
46:20sick his dark eyes swept over my face
46:24and he
46:25said would you serious ly care knock it
46:29off you little
46:30brats his mom gestured for us to follow
46:33her into the family room sit on the
46:36couch eat some cookies and get over
46:39yourselves she plopped a plate of
46:41chocolate chip cookies down on the
46:42coffee table fetched a gallon of milk
46:44and two glasses tossed me a towel
46:47reminded Wes that he had to pick up his
46:49sister at 6:30 and then she left us
46:52alone the woman was a
46:55force oh
46:57Kate and Leopold was playing on one of
46:59those Retro TV channels that only old
47:01people watched and I rubbed the towel
47:04over my hair as Meg Ryan's character
47:06tried evading the charm of a very
47:09British Hugh
47:10Jackman I love this movie of course you
47:14do he gave me a grin that made me
47:18uncomfortable like he knew things about
47:20me that I didn't know he knew and he
47:23leaned down and grabbed a cookie
47:26so what do you want to talk to me
47:28about my cheeks got warm mainly because
47:32I was scared to death he was going to
47:34make fun of me and tell Michael when I
47:36told him what I
47:38wanted I sat down on the sofa set the
47:41towel beside me and
47:44said okay here's the
47:47thing I kind of need your
47:49help he started smiling
47:52immediately I held up a hand and said
47:55nope listen
47:57I know you're not one to help out of the
47:59goodness of your heart so I've got a
48:01proposition for
48:03you ouch like I'm some kind of a
48:06mercenary or something that hurts no it
48:10doesn't he conceited with a shrug no it
48:14really
48:15doesn't Okay it took a lot of
48:18self-control not to roll my eyes at
48:21him but before I tell you what I want
48:24you to help with I want to go over the
48:26terms of the deal he crossed his arms
48:30when had his chest gotten so wide and
48:33tilted his
48:34head go
48:37on okay I took a deep breath and tucked
48:41my hair behind my
48:42ears first of all you have to swear to
48:46secrecy if you tell anyone about our
48:49deal it is void and you don't get
48:51payment second if you agree to the deal
48:55you have to actually help me you can't
48:57just do a little and then blow me off I
49:00paused and he looked at me through
49:02narrowed
49:04eyes well what's the
49:08payment the payment will be
49:12uncontested 24/7 access to the parking
49:15spot for the duration of our
49:17deal
49:19whoa he walked over and plopped in the
49:22chair across from
49:23me you will give me the part working
49:27spot I so didn't want to but I also knew
49:31how badly Wes wanted it he and his dad
49:34were always tinkering with his old car
49:36mostly because it never started and
49:39their toolboxes looked wildly heavy
49:41whenever I got the spot and they had to
49:43haul them all the way down to the end of
49:44the street to get it
49:46going that's
49:48correct his smile went
49:51big I'm in I'm doing it I'm your guy you
49:55can't say that yet you don't even know
49:57what the deal is doesn't matter I'll do
49:59whatever it takes what if I want you to
50:02run naked through the commons during
50:04lunch done I grabbed the throw that was
50:07folded over the arm of the couch and
50:09wrapped it around my
50:11shoulders what if I want you to turn
50:13naked cartwheels through the commons
50:14during lunch while singing the entire
50:16Hamilton
50:18soundtrack you got it I love my
50:21shot
50:23seriously that made me smile even though
50:26I was n used to smiling at Wes but can
50:29you even do a
50:31cartwheel yep prove
50:34it you're so high
50:36maintenance Wes stood shoved the coffee
50:39table out of the way with his foot and
50:41did the most awful cartwheel I'd ever
50:43seen his legs were bent and didn't turn
50:46over his head at all but he stuck the
50:49landing with over the head gymnastic
50:51arms and a confident smile before
50:54plopping back into his chair now tell
50:58me I coughed out the laugh I was trying
51:00to hold in and searched his face I was
51:04looking for honesty some kind of hint
51:06that I could trust him but I got
51:09sidetracked by how dark his eyes were
51:13and the way he flexed his
51:14jaw I thought of the time in seventh
51:17grade when he'd given me $6 to get me to
51:19stop
51:20crying Helena and my dad had just gotten
51:23married and they'd decided to remodel
51:26the main of the house in preparation
51:29Helena had cleaned out the closets and
51:31drawers and donated all of the old stuff
51:35including my mother's DVD
51:37collection when I'd had an emotional
51:39meltdown and my dad had explained the
51:42situation to Helena she'd felt awful
51:45she'd apologized over and over again
51:47while I'd sobbed but all I'd been able
51:50to focus on were her words to my
51:53dad I just didn't think anyone watched
51:56those cheesy
51:58movies I'd been a resourceful kid still
52:01was resourceful as proven by my being at
52:04Wes's house at that very moment and it
52:07had only taken one phone call to find
52:08out where the movies had ended up I'd
52:11snuck out lying to my dad and saying I
52:13was going to joselyn's and ridden my
52:16bike all the way to the thrift store I
52:19had every penny of my babysitting money
52:21in my front
52:22pocket but when I got there it wasn't
52:25enough
52:27we're going to sell this as a collection
52:29kid you can't buy them
52:31individually I stared at that price tag
52:35and no matter how many times I counted I
52:37was $6 short The Jerk at the store was
52:41unyielding and I cried all the way home
52:43on my hot pink bike it felt like I was
52:46losing my mom all over again when I was
52:50almost home I saw Wes bouncing a
52:52basketball in his driveway he looked at
52:55me with his usual face
52:57half smiling like he knew some secret
52:59about me but then he stopped
53:02dribbling hey he tossed the ball onto
53:05the grass in his front yard and walked
53:07toward
53:08me what's
53:10wrong I remember not wanting to tell him
53:13because I knew he'd think it was
53:15ridiculous but there was something about
53:17his eyes that made me break down all
53:19over again I balled like a baby while I
53:23told him what happened but instead of
53:25laughing at me he
53:27listened he stayed silent through my
53:29entire breakdown and once I stopped
53:32talking and started hiccuping
53:33embarrassing little sobs he leaned
53:37forward and wiped my tears with his
53:40thumbs don't cry Liz he looked sad when
53:44he said it like he wanted to cry
53:47too then he
53:50said wait here he gave me the one sec
53:54finger before turning and running into
53:56to his house I stood there exhausted
53:59from the crying and shocked by his
54:02niceness and when he came out his front
54:05door he gave me a $10 bill I remember
54:09looking up at him and thinking he had
54:11the kindest brown
54:13eyes but my thoughts must have Shone on
54:15my face because he immediately gave me a
54:18scowl and said this is just to shut you
54:21up cuz I can't stand to listen to you
54:23balling for another minute and I want my
54:25change
54:27my mind jerked me back to Wes's family
54:30room Michael the spot needing Wes's
54:35help my eyes ran over his
54:38face yeah his brown eyes still looked
54:41exactly the
54:42same okay I picked up a cookie and took
54:46a bite but I swear on everything wholly
54:49that I will hire a hitman if you blab
54:51about this I very much believe you now
54:55spill it
54:57I had to look at something other than
54:59his face I went with my lap staring at
55:02the smooth texture of my leggings when I
55:05said okay here's the thing Michael is
55:10back in town and I was kind of hoping to
55:13you know touch base with
55:16him we were close before he moved away
55:19and I want to get that back
55:22again and I can help with that how
55:25exactly
55:27I kept my eyes down tracing the seam of
55:29my pants with my index
55:32finger well I don't have any classes
55:35with him so there's no way for me to
55:38talk to him
55:39naturally but you and Michael are
55:41already friends you hang out you invited
55:45him to a party I dared to look at him
55:48when I said youve got the connection
55:51that I
55:52want he tossed the rest of his cookie
55:55into his mouth chewed it up and dusted
55:57his hands on the knees of his
56:00pants let me get this straight you are
56:03still Starry Eyed over young and you
56:07want me to drag you along to Rhino's
56:10party so you can get him to like
56:12you I considered denying it but instead
56:17said
56:19basically his jaw
56:22flexed I heard he's kind of interested
56:24in
56:25Laney h
56:26no my own personal investment in the
56:29situation aside Laney Morgan was totally
56:32wrong for Michael in fact nudging him to
56:35fall in love with me would be doing him
56:37a favor simply by saving him from
56:40that I said don't you worry about that
56:44an eyebrow went
56:46up how positively scandalous of you
56:49Elizabeth shut it he
56:53smiled you can't think that just showing
56:55up at a party is going to make him
56:57notice you there's going to be a ton of
56:59people there I only need a few
57:03minutes pretty confident are we I am I'd
57:07already written a
57:09script I have a
57:11plan and it
57:13is I tucked my legs underneath me like
57:17I'm telling
57:18you nah he got up moved to the couch and
57:23plopped down beside me
57:26your plan
57:27sucks I wrapped the throw more tightly
57:30around my
57:31shoulders how could you possibly know
57:34that when you don't know my plan because
57:37I've known you since you were five Liz
57:39I'm sure your plan involves a contrived
57:42meeting an entire notebook's worth of
57:44silly ideas and someone riding off into
57:47the
57:48sunset he was close but I said you're
57:52way off base but
57:57iigh
57:59so all I needed was for the spot to be a
58:02stronger draw than Wes's determination
58:03to antagonize me Wes crossed his arms
58:07and looked pleased with
58:09himself
58:11so oh my God you're torturing me on
58:14purpose are you going to help me or not
58:18he scratched his
58:19chin I just don't know if the spot is
58:22worth
58:23it worth what a allowing me to be in
58:27your presence for a few hours I tucked a
58:30wet curl behind my
58:31ear you'll barely even know I'm there
58:35what if I'm trying to hit it off with
58:37someone the look on his face was so
58:40creepy I smiled in spite of
58:43myself your presence might mess with my
58:46mojo trust me you won't even notice me
58:51I'll be too busy making Michael fall
58:52wildly in love with me to even touch
58:55your mojo
58:57ew stop talking about touching my mojo
58:59you
59:00perve I rolled my eyes and turned toward
59:04him are you going to say yes or
59:07what he smirked and kicked his feet up
59:09onto the coffee
59:11table I do love watching you take the
59:14Walk of Shame from Mrs
59:16scarpelli's it's kind of my new favorite
59:19hobby so I guess I'll drag you along to
59:22the party yes I stopped myself from
59:25doing a fist pump in Victory settle your
59:29ass down Wes leaned forward grabbed the
59:33remote and turned up the volume on the
59:35TV before looking at me as if I smelled
59:39bad wait this movie you love this movie
59:45I know it's a weird premise but I swear
59:47to you that it's great I've seen it this
59:50movie is trash are you kidding me it is
59:54not trash it's about finding someone so
59:58right for you that you'd be willing to
1:00:00drop everything and Traverse centuries
1:00:02for them she literally ditches her life
1:00:05and moves to
1:00:061876 I mean that is a powerful
1:00:10love I looked at the TV and my brain
1:00:14started quoting along with the
1:00:16movie are you sure you've seen this
1:00:19movie I'm
1:00:21positive he shook his head and watched
1:00:24as Stuart begged the nurse to let him
1:00:26leave the
1:00:27hospital this movie is formulaic
1:00:30aspartame infused tropy
1:00:32garbage of
1:00:34course why would I expect Wes to
1:00:36surprise
1:00:37me of course Wes Bennett is a romcom
1:00:42snob I would expect no
1:00:45less I'm not a romcom snob whatever that
1:00:49even is but a Discerning viewer who
1:00:52expects more than a predictable plot
1:00:54with fill-in theblank characters
1:00:56oh please I put my feet on the coffee
1:00:59table exploding buildings and highspeed
1:01:02chases aren't
1:01:03predictable you're making the assumption
1:01:05that I like action
1:01:07movies you don't oh I do he tossed the
1:01:11remote onto the table and grabbed his
1:01:14glass but you shouldn't assume but I was
1:01:18right whatever he drank the last of his
1:01:21milk and sat down his
1:01:23glass bottom line chick flicks are
1:01:26laughingly unrealistic like oh these two
1:01:30are so different and hate each other so
1:01:32much but wait are they so different
1:01:36after all enemies to lovers it's a
1:01:39classic
1:01:40Trope oh good God you think it's awesome
1:01:44he narrowed his eyes leaned over and
1:01:47patted me on the
1:01:49head you poor confused little love lover
1:01:53tell me you don't think this movie is
1:01:55REM Ely connected to reality in any way
1:01:59I smacked his hand away from my
1:02:01head yeah because I believe in time
1:02:05travel not that he gestured toward the
1:02:08TV time travel is probably the most
1:02:11realistic part I'm talking about romcoms
1:02:14in general relationships never ever ever
1:02:18work like that yes they
1:02:21do his eyebrows went up they do correct
1:02:26me if I'm wrong but it didn't seem like
1:02:28it worked that way with Jeremiah Green
1:02:31or Tad
1:02:33Miranda I was kind of taken aback by his
1:02:35awareness of my romantic history or lack
1:02:39thereof but I supposed it was inevitable
1:02:41when we were in the same grade at the
1:02:43same
1:02:44school well they can I pushed my still
1:02:48damp hair out of my face and wasn't
1:02:51surprised that Wes thought the way he
1:02:53did I'd never heard of him being serious
1:02:56with any girl ever so it was probably
1:02:59safe to assume he was your classic
1:03:01player type
1:03:02jock it's out there even if the jaded
1:03:06cynical people like you are too um
1:03:11cynical to believe you said cynical
1:03:14twice
1:03:16sigh he smiled at my
1:03:19irritation so you think that two enemies
1:03:22in the real world can magically get over
1:03:24their differences and fall madly in love
1:03:28I
1:03:29do and you think that plotting and
1:03:31planning and trickery is no big deal if
1:03:35it's done to spark some sort of true
1:03:37love I chewed on my
1:03:40lip was that what I was doing
1:03:43trickery the thought put a little twist
1:03:46in my stomach but I ignored it that
1:03:49wasn't what was happening
1:03:51here I said you're making it sound
1:03:54ridiculous on purpose
1:03:56oh no it's just
1:03:58ridiculous you're
1:04:00ridiculous I realized I was gritting my
1:04:03teeth and I relaxed my jaw who cared
1:04:06what Wes thought about love
1:04:08anyway he got a little smirk going and
1:04:12said have you thought about the fact
1:04:14that if your little love Notions are
1:04:16valid then Michael is actually not the
1:04:18guy for
1:04:19you nope he was the guy for me had to be
1:04:25still I
1:04:27asked what do you
1:04:29mean at this point you and Michael
1:04:32aren't mad at each other so it's doomed
1:04:36every romcom has two people who can't
1:04:38stand each other in the beginning but
1:04:40eventually bang It Out gross seriously
1:04:45you've got male The Ugly Truth um When
1:04:49Harry Met Sally 10 Things I Hate About
1:04:51You Sweet Home Alabama first of all
1:04:53Sweet Home Alabama is a second chance
1:04:55that love Trope ass hat oh my bad second
1:05:00of all you're a little impressive with
1:05:03your romcom knowledge Bennett are you
1:05:05sure you aren't a closet
1:05:08Watcher he gave me a
1:05:10look
1:05:12positive I really was a little impressed
1:05:15I loved the ugly
1:05:17truth I won't tell anyone if you
1:05:20secretly fan girl over romance flicks
1:05:23shut it
1:05:25he chuckled and gave his head a slow
1:05:28shake so what Trope works for you and
1:05:31Michael then the followed him around
1:05:34like a puppy but now he sees the puppy
1:05:36as a potential girlfriend even though he
1:05:38already has a potential girlfriend
1:05:40Trope you are an obnoxious love
1:05:44hater it was all I could think of to
1:05:46throw back at him because all of a
1:05:49sudden Wes had The Uncanny ability to
1:05:52make me
1:05:53laugh like even as he made made fun of
1:05:56me I had to force myself to not give in
1:05:58another
1:06:00giggle but we had a deal so we exchanged
1:06:03numbers so he could text me after he
1:06:05talked to Michael and we decided that he
1:06:07was going to pick me up for the party at
1:06:097:00 the following day as I walked back
1:06:12to my house in the rain I couldn't
1:06:15believe he'd agreed to it I was a little
1:06:17unsure about going anywhere with
1:06:20Wes but a girl did what she had to in
1:06:23the name of true love
1:06:27I wasn't a fan of running in the rain or
1:06:29in the dark so doing both at the same
1:06:32time was a major
1:06:33suckfest Helena had made spaghetti by
1:06:35the time I'd gotten home from Wes's so
1:06:38I'd had to sit down for a fullscale
1:06:40family dinner complete with how was your
1:06:42day conversation before I could take off
1:06:46my Dad tried to convince me to hit the
1:06:48new treadmill he'd bought the day before
1:06:50since it was pouring outside but that
1:06:53was a non-option for me my daily run had
1:06:57nothing to do with
1:06:58exercise I tightened the string on my
1:07:00hood put my head down and hit the
1:07:03sidewalk my worn out Brooks splashing
1:07:06water up onto my leggings with every
1:07:08step it was cold and miserable and I
1:07:11picked up my Pace when I turned the
1:07:13corner at the end of the street and
1:07:15could see the cemetery through the
1:07:17downpour I didn't slow until I went
1:07:19through the gates up the familiar one
1:07:21lane Black Top Road and just past the
1:07:24Crooked Elm
1:07:26then I ran 15 Steps farther to the
1:07:29left this weather sucks ma I said as I
1:07:33stopped next to my mother's headstone
1:07:36putting my hands on my hips and sucking
1:07:38air while trying to slow my
1:07:40pant
1:07:42seriously I dropped to a squat beside
1:07:45her running my hand over the Slick
1:07:47marble I usually sat down on the grass
1:07:51but it was way too wet for that the
1:07:53driving rain made it seem even darker
1:07:55than normal in the Shaded Cemetery but I
1:07:58knew the place by heart so it didn't
1:08:00bother
1:08:01me in a weird way this was my happy
1:08:06place so Michael is back I'm sure you
1:08:10saw and he seems just as perfect as
1:08:13ever I'm going to see him again
1:08:15tomorrow I pictured her face like I
1:08:19always did when I was here and said
1:08:21you'd be excited about this
1:08:23one even if I had to go to Wes for help
1:08:27my mom had always thought Wes was sweet
1:08:29but that he played too
1:08:32rough it just feels like it's a fate
1:08:35thing the way he was kind of dropped
1:08:37into my lap right after I was listening
1:08:40to someone like you I mean what's more
1:08:43faty than that your favorite song from
1:08:48our favorite movie and our favorite cute
1:08:51ex- neighbor just happen to drop in
1:08:55I feel like we're writing this happily
1:08:57ever after from your
1:08:59spot I trailed off and gestured at the
1:09:03sky up there
1:09:06somewhere even the cold rain couldn't
1:09:09keep me from being excited as I
1:09:11described his southern y' accent for my
1:09:14mom I squatted beside her chiseled name
1:09:17and rambled like I did every day until
1:09:20the alarm on my phone
1:09:22buzzed this ritual had kind of become
1:09:25like an oral diary over the years except
1:09:27I wasn't recording and no one was
1:09:30listening well except I hoped my mom
1:09:34was it was time to head back I stood and
1:09:38patted her
1:09:40headstone see you
1:09:41tomorrow love
1:09:43you I took a deep breath before turning
1:09:46and jogging down the hill the rain was
1:09:49still coming down hard but muscle memory
1:09:52made it easy to stay on the path and as
1:09:55I ran past Wes's house and turned into
1:09:57my driveway I realized I was more
1:10:00excited than I'd been in a really long
1:10:06time Liz I glanced up from my lit
1:10:09homework to see Jos climbing in my
1:10:11window with Kate and Cassidy following
1:10:14behind her we discovered years ago that
1:10:17if you climbed onto the roof of my old
1:10:19playhous in the backyard you were just
1:10:21high enough to slide open the bedroom
1:10:23window and step right in
1:10:26hey guys I cracked my back and turned
1:10:29around in my desk chair surprised to see
1:10:32them what's
1:10:34up we just got done with a planning
1:10:36meeting for the senior prank but we
1:10:38don't want to go home yet because my dad
1:10:40said I could stay out until 9:00 and
1:10:43it's only
1:10:448:40 Cassidy whose parents were Wicked
1:10:47strict flopped down on my bed and Kate
1:10:50followed while Jos sat her backside on
1:10:53my window seat and said so we're hiding
1:10:56here for 20 more
1:10:57minutes I readed myself for pressure
1:11:00from them about the senior
1:11:02prank it was basically like 30 people
1:11:05jammed into Burger King loudly shouting
1:11:08out ideas of things they think are
1:11:10funny Jos giggled and said Tyler Beck
1:11:14thinks we should just let loose with
1:11:16like 20,000 super balls in the hallways
1:11:19and he knows a guy who can hook us up
1:11:23Kate laughed and said so swear to God he
1:11:26had the whole group convinced it was the
1:11:28money idea until he said he would need
1:11:31actual
1:11:32money we seniors are funny but cheap as
1:11:36hell Cassidy lay back on my bed and said
1:11:40I personally liked Joey Lee's idea to
1:11:43just say screw it and do something
1:11:45horrible like flipping over all the
1:11:47shelves in the library or flooding the
1:11:49school he said it was ironically funny
1:11:52because it's so terribly not funny
1:11:55and that it would never be
1:11:58forgotten that's definitely true I said
1:12:02taking out my ponytail and digging my
1:12:04hands into my hair I didn't want to look
1:12:06at Jos because I felt like she'd take
1:12:09one glance and know I'd been scheming
1:12:11with Wes so I kept my eyes on
1:12:14Cass you should have been there Liz Jos
1:12:17said and I prepared myself for what came
1:12:20next a lecture about how we were only
1:12:23seniors once perhaps
1:12:25she was really good at those just do it
1:12:28Liz we're only High School seniors for a
1:12:30few more
1:12:32months but when I looked at her she
1:12:34grinned instead and said everyone was
1:12:37talking about ideas and then Connor Abel
1:12:40said my house got forked once my mouth
1:12:45fell open shut up right Kate
1:12:50squealed last year when I was crushing
1:12:53hard on Connor we thought it' be funny
1:12:55to Fork his front yard one Saturday
1:12:58night when there was nothing going on
1:13:00and we were all sleeping over at my
1:13:02house yes it was silly but we were
1:13:05Juniors we didn't know any better but in
1:13:08the middle of the midnight forking his
1:13:10dad came outside to let the dog do its
1:13:13business we took off running into the
1:13:15neighbor's yard but not before the dog
1:13:17managed to catch his teeth on Joss's
1:13:19pajama pants exposing her underwear for
1:13:22all to see Jos cackled and said it was
1:13:27hilarious because you know he uttered
1:13:29the Bizarro words my house got
1:13:33forked I cannot believe he said that I
1:13:37laughed she shook her head and added but
1:13:41it was also funny because someone asked
1:13:43him what the hell he was talking about
1:13:46and listen to this he said and I quote a
1:13:49bunch of girls stuck Forks all over my
1:13:52front yard last year and then one Moon
1:13:54Di while running away I you not
1:13:58dudes shut
1:14:01up I died laughing then leaning into the
1:14:04memory of those good
1:14:06times they were pure in a way Untouched
1:14:10by my stressful senior issues that had
1:14:12stained the memories we'd been making
1:14:15this year did it kill you not to take
1:14:18credit for it she nodded stood and went
1:14:21over to my closet big time but I I knew
1:14:25we'd come out looking like obsessed
1:14:26stalkers if I
1:14:28confessed I watched as she flipped
1:14:30through my dresses and then she asked
1:14:33where's the red checked dress it's
1:14:36Buffalo plaid and it's on the other side
1:14:39I pointed and said with the Casual
1:14:42shirts I knew the layout but I would
1:14:44have pictured it with the
1:14:46dresses too casual of course she looked
1:14:50through the other rack found the dress
1:14:53and then pulled it off the hanger and
1:14:55draped it over her
1:14:56arm so what' you do tonight his
1:14:59homework I blinked caught in the
1:15:02headlights but Cass and Kate weren't
1:15:04even paying attention and Jos was
1:15:07looking at the dress I cleared my throat
1:15:09and muttered a quick pretty much hey do
1:15:14you know how much of Gatsby we supposed
1:15:15to read for
1:15:16tomorrow Cass said guys we need to hit
1:15:20it at the same time Jos said the rest of
1:15:23it thanks I managed while my friends
1:15:27made their way to the window and
1:15:29scrambled out the same way they'd come
1:15:32Jos was about to swing her leg over when
1:15:34she said your hair looks super cute like
1:15:36that by the way did you curl
1:15:39it I thought of Wes's living room and
1:15:42how drenched my hair had been when I'd
1:15:45arrived No I um I just got caught in the
1:15:49rain after
1:15:50school she smiled you should be so lucky
1:15:54every day right
1:15:55right yeah I pictured Wes's cartwheel
1:16:00and wanted to roll my
1:16:02eyes
1:16:07right chapter
1:16:093 you're late you're stunning you're
1:16:12forgiven Pretty
1:16:15Woman it was 7:15 and Wes hadn't shown
1:16:18up
1:16:19yet maybe you should walk over there my
1:16:23dad looked up from his book and and
1:16:25stared directly at my tapping
1:16:27fingernails I mean it is
1:16:30Wes translation said Helena giving me a
1:16:34smirk your tapping is driving him to
1:16:37distraction and he thinks your date is
1:16:39capable of forgetting you
1:16:40entirely this isn't a date my dad
1:16:44ignored my comment set his book down on
1:16:46the table beside him and gave Helena a
1:16:49grin actually her tapping is driving me
1:16:52to distraction and West Bennett is
1:16:55capable of
1:16:56anything my dad and Helena started doing
1:16:59their hilarious banter thing on the love
1:17:01seat and I had to fight to hold in the
1:17:04eye roll Helena was awesome she reminded
1:17:08me of a blonde laurelai
1:17:10Gilmore but she and my dad were
1:17:12sometimes a lot to take he'd met her in
1:17:15a stuck elevator for real exactly one
1:17:18year after my mother had died they had
1:17:21spent 2 hours in forced confinement
1:17:23between the eth and nth floors at the
1:17:26First National Building downtown and
1:17:29they'd been Inseparable ever since it
1:17:32was the epitomy of irony that they'd had
1:17:35the ultimate meat cute and seemed made
1:17:38for each other because she was the polar
1:17:41opposite of my
1:17:43mother my mother had been sweet patient
1:17:46and adorable like a modern-day version
1:17:49of Dora's day she' loved dresses
1:17:52homemade bread and fresh cut flow
1:17:54flowers from her
1:17:56garden that was all part of what my
1:17:58father had fallen madly in love
1:18:00with he had said she was
1:18:03enchanting Helena on the other hand was
1:18:06sarcastic and
1:18:08beautiful she was jeans and a t-shirt
1:18:11let's pick up takeout I don't like
1:18:14romcoms yet my dad was lost to her the
1:18:17minute that high-rise elevator
1:18:19malfunctioned in an instant I lost my
1:18:23grieving buddy and
1:18:25gained a woman who was nothing like the
1:18:27mom I had cried for every
1:18:29night that had been a lot for
1:18:3111-year-old Liz to
1:18:32handle I checked my phone no message
1:18:36from Wes he was 15 no 17 minutes late
1:18:41and he still hadn't sent a single sorry
1:18:44I'm running late
1:18:45text why had I even bothered being ready
1:18:48on time he'd probably forgotten all
1:18:51about me and was already at the party
1:18:53with a beer in his hand
1:18:55he'd texted me last night to say that
1:18:57Michael was happy to hear I'd be going
1:18:59to the party and it had killed me not to
1:19:02ask all the Middle School questions did
1:19:05he say anything about me tell me his
1:19:06exact words ultimately I'd refrained
1:19:10because Wes would only use that against
1:19:12me my phone buzzed and I pulled it out
1:19:15of my pocket
1:19:17Joselyn what are you
1:19:19doing I put it back without responding
1:19:22as guilt twisted around in my belly
1:19:25I usually told her everything but I knew
1:19:28she wouldn't approve of me going to the
1:19:30party do you even know who Rhino is
1:19:34Michael Young is not your racing to the
1:19:36train station
1:19:37dude the minute she'd said that I'd
1:19:40known she had no idea how much this
1:19:42mattered to me I was going to just go to
1:19:45the party and I text her after I got
1:19:48home my dad asked you'll be home by
1:19:52midnight yep not a second later
1:19:57understand my dad looked more serious
1:19:59than usual and added nothing good
1:20:02happens after
1:20:03midnight I know I know he said those
1:20:07words every single time I went out I'll
1:20:10call if no you won't my always laid-back
1:20:14father gave a shake of his head and
1:20:15pointed at me you will just make it a
1:20:18priority to not be
1:20:21late understand honey relax she gets it
1:20:26Helena and I exchanged looks of
1:20:29understanding before she pointed out the
1:20:31window and started rambling to him about
1:20:33the grass my dad was only ever tense
1:20:36when it came to curfew and it was only
1:20:38because of my mother's death his
1:20:41favorite thing to say if I ever dared to
1:20:43push back was if your mom hadn't been
1:20:46out at midnight that drunk driver
1:20:48couldn't have hit
1:20:49her and he was right and
1:20:53intense so I prayed pretty much always
1:20:55shut up about it I kept tapping my nails
1:20:58on the end table shaking my crossed legs
1:21:01as nerves settled in I wasn't nervous
1:21:04about Michael I was excited about that
1:21:06part what I was nervous about was going
1:21:09to a party with the
1:21:10populars I didn't know any of them
1:21:13besides Wes and my awkward self knew
1:21:16even less about how to act at a keg
1:21:18party because I'd never been to a keg
1:21:21party I was more of a low-key girl
1:21:25on a typical Friday night Jos Kate
1:21:28Cassidy and I went to a movie or hung
1:21:30out at the bookstore or maybe went to
1:21:32Applebee's for cheap
1:21:34appetizers occasionally we went shopping
1:21:37and ended up at Denny's or Scooter's
1:21:39Coffee and I liked my predictable life I
1:21:43understood it controlled it and it made
1:21:47sense to
1:21:48me in my head my life was a romcom and I
1:21:52was living it like a Meg Ryan type
1:21:55character cute dresses good friends and
1:21:59the eventual appearance of a boy who
1:22:01would find me
1:22:02lovely keg parties played no part in
1:22:05that they belonged in a super bad kind
1:22:08of life
1:22:10right and the parents are
1:22:13home I rolled my eyes and Mr Fitz
1:22:16pervert jumped onto my
1:22:18lap yes Dad the parents are home spoiler
1:22:22they were not home but my dad and Helena
1:22:25were super chill parents they trusted me
1:22:29mainly because I rarely went out and
1:22:31never got into trouble so they didn't
1:22:33feel the need to call and check up on me
1:22:35when I was away from home so yeah I felt
1:22:38a little guilty about lying but since I
1:22:41didn't plan to do anything they wouldn't
1:22:43approve of except a best case scenario
1:22:46that had me and Michael kissing on the
1:22:48back porch under a clear night sky with
1:22:51ocean Eyes by Billy eyh on a speaker in
1:22:53the background
1:22:55and his hands cradling my face as my
1:22:58right foot popped at just the right
1:23:00moment like in the
1:23:01movies my guilt was but a fraction of
1:23:04what it could have been I scratched
1:23:07behind Fitz pervert's ear which made him
1:23:09purr and bite my hand he was such a dick
1:23:15he was currently sporting The Gingham
1:23:16bow tie that I'd purchased on Dapper
1:23:19tab.com so he looked dashing in an I
1:23:22want to murder you but I eat too much to
1:23:25actually move kind of way the tie did
1:23:28accentuate his recent weight gain so I
1:23:30wasn't mad that he'd lashed out I got it
1:23:35I set him on the floor and walked over
1:23:36to the window and there was Wes as if my
1:23:40thoughts had summoned him he hopped down
1:23:42his porch steps wearing jeans and a
1:23:44hoodie and proceeded to walk across our
1:23:46front yard he's here bye guys I grabbed
1:23:50my purse and reached for the door have a
1:23:53nice time sweetie
1:23:55do you have money for a pay phone Helena
1:23:58asked I squinted at Helena who Shrugged
1:24:01and added I mean you never know you
1:24:04could get into a whole time machine Back
1:24:06to the Future thing and need a pay phone
1:24:08to get home and what would you do
1:24:10then I did roll my eyes
1:24:13then yes um I definitely have enough
1:24:17money to get back to this decade should
1:24:19we find a hole in the space-time
1:24:21Continuum thank you she nodded at and
1:24:24put her feet up on my dad's lap you're
1:24:27welcome now beat it kid I opened the
1:24:30front door before Wes could knock and
1:24:32closed it quickly behind me which
1:24:34resulted in us nearly running into each
1:24:36other he stopped just in time looking a
1:24:40little
1:24:40surprised hey I said hey he looked
1:24:45around me and said I don't have to come
1:24:48in for a parental
1:24:50lecture I couldn't answer for a second
1:24:53because it was a bit jarring seeing Wes
1:24:56standing on my porch at dusk smelling
1:24:58lightly of musky manly cologne and
1:25:01looking freshly
1:25:03showered he'd been next door my entire
1:25:06life but it was surreal that our
1:25:08parallel lives were actually
1:25:11intersecting nah I said as I dropped my
1:25:14keys into my purse and started walking
1:25:16toward his car which was of course in
1:25:19the
1:25:20spot they know this isn't a
1:25:22date it only took him two steps and he
1:25:26caught up to me but what if I wanted to
1:25:28declare my intentions to your
1:25:30father your
1:25:32intentions I stopped beside his car do
1:25:36you mean how you intend to irritate me
1:25:38for multiple hours in a row
1:25:40tonight he hit unlock and opened the
1:25:43door for me I was actually referring to
1:25:46the way I intend on blowing off the
1:25:48party entirely to use your body as a
1:25:50human shield at a paintball range don't
1:25:53even joke about getting neon paint on
1:25:55this dress he shut my door went around
1:25:58the car and got behind the
1:26:00wheel yeah what's with the dress I kind
1:26:04of thought you'd wear something normal
1:26:06to a
1:26:07party this is normal I buckled my seat
1:26:10belt and pulled down the visor to check
1:26:12my makeup as if Wes knew anything about
1:26:15fashion I was in love with my mustard
1:26:18jumper dress and its flower
1:26:20buttons he started his car and put it in
1:26:23Drive
1:26:24for you maybe I guarantee you'll be the
1:26:27only person at Rhino wearing a dress
1:26:30which will make Michael notice me I
1:26:33reached into my pocket because of course
1:26:36my dress had pockets and opened the tube
1:26:38of lipstick that was inside my hands
1:26:41were shaking and I took a deep breath
1:26:44trying to make myself
1:26:45chill it was hard though when in mere
1:26:48minutes I'd be face to face with the boy
1:26:51I'd daydreamed about for more than half
1:26:53my life
1:26:55deep
1:26:56breath yeah that's definitely true he
1:27:00pulled away from the curb and added in a
1:27:02cowboy voice howdy partner who's the
1:27:06Philly in the dress that's blocking my
1:27:08view of the hot
1:27:09girls oh come on Michael does not talk
1:27:13like that I snort laughed in spite of
1:27:16myself which screwed up the lipstick
1:27:18application as I looked in the visor
1:27:21mirror he speaks like the intelligent
1:27:23char Matic guy that he
1:27:25is as if you even
1:27:28know he turned right on Teal Street and
1:27:31his foot was heavy on the gas pedal the
1:27:34last time we knew him he was a fourth
1:27:36grader fifth I put the cap back on the
1:27:40lipstick and I can just
1:27:43tell oh you can
1:27:45tell he made a little noise that was the
1:27:48equivalent of him calling me a
1:27:50child for all you know he's spent the
1:27:53past few years tort ing baby
1:27:55squirrels for all you know I said
1:27:58flipping the visor back up and reaching
1:28:00out to turn on his radio he's spent the
1:28:03last few years bottle feeding orphaned
1:28:06baby
1:28:07squirrels well if you ask me that is no
1:28:10less
1:28:10alarming I rolled my eyes and turned to
1:28:13the station mildly irritated that he too
1:28:17thought I was
1:28:18ridiculous they didn't understand how
1:28:21faded his reappearance was so I was just
1:28:24going to ignore their
1:28:26negativity I loved Jay-Z but I was
1:28:29feeling myself in my jumper dress so I
1:28:31scanned away from rap until I found a
1:28:33station playing a super old Selena Gomez
1:28:36song that earned me another disapproving
1:28:39noise before westes switched it back to
1:28:42PSA hey I liked that song you like a
1:28:46song about Selena Gomez thirsting over
1:28:48Justin
1:28:49Bieber I looked over at his smirking
1:28:52face
1:28:54you are seriously disgusting you're the
1:28:57one who likes that seriously disgusting
1:28:59song If my mom had been right about the
1:29:02whole your eyes are going to stay that
1:29:04way rule spending time with Wes was
1:29:07going to leave me visually impaired for
1:29:09the rest of my
1:29:13life you're not going to knock Wes
1:29:16stopped with his hand on the front door
1:29:18knob and looked at me like I was from
1:29:20another
1:29:21planet why would I
1:29:25because it isn't your house but it's
1:29:28Ryan's I've been here a hundred times he
1:29:31pushed open the front door and we're
1:29:34going to a party in the basement not a
1:29:36wine tasting in the formal dining room
1:29:39the butler doesn't need to announce our
1:29:41arrival this
1:29:42time I know that you
1:29:44jag he grinned and gestured for me to go
1:29:48ahead of
1:29:49him I stepped inside the fancy foyer
1:29:52with marble on the floor and a glass
1:29:54chandelier overhead and it was quiet too
1:29:59quiet my stomach was full of
1:30:02butterflies and I kind of wanted to go
1:30:04home despite knowing that Michael was
1:30:06likely already
1:30:08here relax
1:30:10Libby Wes was looking at me as if he
1:30:13knew how nervous I was and the tone of
1:30:15his voice told me he was actually trying
1:30:18to make me feel
1:30:19better that seemed like a stretch though
1:30:22when he was probably just thinking how
1:30:24hilarious it was that I was such a nerdy
1:30:27Mouse no one calls me
1:30:30Libby my mom had but since she wasn't
1:30:33there anymore I couldn't count her
1:30:35right a then I have a perfect pet name
1:30:39for you already no I hate it I hadn't
1:30:43always but I did
1:30:46now oh you do not he nudged my arm with
1:30:50his elbow and you can call me wessie if
1:30:53you want
1:30:55I couldn't not laugh at that he was so
1:30:59ridiculous I will not want to do that
1:31:03like
1:31:04ever he walked over to a door and opened
1:31:07it and noises came up from the bottom of
1:31:09the
1:31:10stairs ready to
1:31:12party not at
1:31:14all hey don't ditch me until I find
1:31:17Michael
1:31:18okay call me wessie and I totally
1:31:21won't I snorted
1:31:24fine if you ditch me wessie I will stab
1:31:28you with the keg
1:31:29tap my little Libby is such a
1:31:34Savage where is he Wes gave me a look as
1:31:38we stood near The
1:31:39Keg we've only been here 10 minutes
1:31:43chill he's here
1:31:45somewhere I held the Red Solo Cup
1:31:47between my hands and looked around Up
1:31:50All Night by MC Miller would be the
1:31:53perfect choice if a camera were to pan
1:31:55out and capture the energy of the party
1:31:58because there were a lot of people in
1:32:01that unfinished basement yelling and
1:32:04laughing and guzzling warmish
1:32:07beer a small group sat around a table in
1:32:10the corner playing presidents and
1:32:11which appeared to be a game
1:32:14involving cards drinking and
1:32:16sporadically yelling oh we
1:32:19baby but I didn't care about any of that
1:32:23I wanted to see Michael I wanted my
1:32:26reunited and it feels so good moment
1:32:29with him our childhood coming full
1:32:31circle moment and everything else was
1:32:33just background
1:32:36noise maybe you should relax and try
1:32:38having
1:32:39fun Wes pulled his phone out of his
1:32:42front pocket checked messages then put
1:32:44it
1:32:45back you do know how to do that don't
1:32:48you of course I said taking a sip of the
1:32:53beer and trying not to look like I found
1:32:55it as disgusting as I actually did but I
1:32:58really had no idea how to have fun at a
1:33:01party like that he was
1:33:04right Wes fit in though since the minute
1:33:08we'd walked downstairs his name had been
1:33:10shouted no less than 10 times our entire
1:33:14High School class seemed to adore my
1:33:17annoying
1:33:18neighbor weird right what was even
1:33:21weirder was that so far he hadn't turned
1:33:24into the dude bro I imagined him to be
1:33:26in a party
1:33:27situation he hadn't left me by myself
1:33:30hadn't done a keg stand and hadn't
1:33:33discussed breasts and or butts with his
1:33:35friends in front of me I mean he'd
1:33:38passed on beer and was drinking water
1:33:41because he had to drive for God's
1:33:43sake who was this guy the guy I'd
1:33:47assumed him to be would have beer bonged
1:33:50while
1:33:52driving neighborhood friends were like
1:33:54that you grew up with them running over
1:33:57hot sidewalks and yelling to each other
1:33:59across fresh cut
1:34:01lawns but once you got older you became
1:34:04acquaintances born of proximity with
1:34:07nothing but a surface level of basic
1:34:09knowledge I knew he parked like an ass
1:34:12played a ball sport baseball maybe and
1:34:17was always laughing and loud when I saw
1:34:19him at
1:34:20school I'm sure he knew even less about
1:34:23me
1:34:25Wesley a pretty blonde girl squealed and
1:34:28gave him a big hug he looked at me over
1:34:30her shoulder as she very nearly jumped
1:34:33on him and I rolled my eyes which made
1:34:36him laugh the blonde pulled back and
1:34:38said what took you so long I've been
1:34:42looking for you
1:34:43everywhere I had to pick up Liz he
1:34:47gestured toward me but she didn't even
1:34:49turn around the girl was standing like
1:34:52an inch away from him as she said you
1:34:55look really hot
1:34:58tonight was that how the upper echelon
1:35:00of my gender landed boyfriends at my
1:35:03school if so I'd never have a shot at
1:35:06Michael because I was a big fan of
1:35:09personal space I actually felt a little
1:35:12sorry for Wes when he swallowed and took
1:35:14the tiniest step
1:35:16backward he
1:35:18said uh thanks
1:35:21Ash I probably shouldn't tell you that
1:35:26she was kind of yelling over the noise
1:35:28but Wes still looked uncomfortable like
1:35:31they were alone in a dark room and the
1:35:33door was
1:35:34locked but what the hell
1:35:37right she didn't move from deep within
1:35:39Wes's space so I tapped her on the
1:35:43shoulder he was a childhood pal I
1:35:45supposed so it was probably my
1:35:48neighborly duty to save him at least
1:35:50once she turned around and smiled
1:35:54hey hey I smiled and touched her
1:35:58arm listen I leaned over and put my
1:36:02mouth closer to her ear and I wanted to
1:36:04giggle when I saw Wes's eyebrow go up
1:36:07like a question mark I said to her don't
1:36:11tell anyone but Wes and I are kind of
1:36:15you
1:36:16know
1:36:18together her eyes narrowed in confusion
1:36:21and then she smiled nodded
1:36:25slowly I had no idea I'm so sorry
1:36:31sh the girl was
1:36:34loud no worries at all we're just
1:36:37keeping it
1:36:38quiet I mean I was going after him
1:36:43hardcore she gestured to herself with
1:36:45both of her pointer fingers and
1:36:48laugh I did not mean to make a move on
1:36:51your man
1:36:54I shook my head and wanted that time
1:36:56machine Helena had mentioned as
1:36:59everything clicked into
1:37:01place she Ash was Ashley Sparks oh my
1:37:07God Not only was she loud but she was
1:37:10super popular and a terrible gossip
1:37:14every person in this building would
1:37:15think Wes and I were together in
1:37:17probably about 10 minutes I shushed her
1:37:20and said sh no biggie he isn't my man
1:37:24yet so he will be girl she nudged me
1:37:28with her shoulder and grinned at Wes you
1:37:31go get it oh my God I muttered sh um
1:37:39okay she walked away and I squeezed my
1:37:42eyes shut not wanting to look at
1:37:46him did you just tell her that I opened
1:37:49my eyes
1:37:51yep he bent his knees so his face was
1:37:54level with mine and his eyes were
1:37:56squinty when he
1:37:57said why would you do
1:38:00that I swallowed and looked down at my
1:38:04beer well I was trying to save you um
1:38:09from her Amorous
1:38:11clutches he started laughing
1:38:14hard I raised my eyes to his face and I
1:38:18couldn't stop myself from
1:38:20joining because he had one of those
1:38:22laughs
1:38:24happy and mischievous and full-on little
1:38:27boy it was
1:38:29contagious and really it was ridiculous
1:38:31that I'd tried to save 6 and 1/2 ft of
1:38:34Wes from the hot girl that clearly
1:38:37wanted to get with him I had tears in my
1:38:40eyes by the time we got ourselves under
1:38:43control hey
1:38:44y'all Michael came up beside Wes and
1:38:47said something about
1:38:49beer but my heart started beating so
1:38:52fast that fainting became became a
1:38:53distinct possibility and I didn't hear
1:38:55anything he said the noise of the party
1:38:58dimmed to a buzzing murmur as I squeezed
1:39:01my fingers around my red Solo cup and
1:39:04drank him in he was everything I
1:39:07remembered but better his smile was the
1:39:10same powerful weapon that made me feel
1:39:13both queasy and like I might
1:39:15spontaneously combust all at the same
1:39:18time Wes and Michael kept talking but I
1:39:21heard none of their words as I raised my
1:39:24cup to my lips wishing so badly that I
1:39:28had headphones with me because how would
1:39:31you feel by Ed Sheeran definitely should
1:39:33have been playing while my eyes strolled
1:39:36over his thick hair his pretty eyes and
1:39:39those perfect teeth that were bared as
1:39:42he smiled at
1:39:44Wes note to self create the soundtrack
1:39:47of Michael and Liz after you get
1:39:50home how have you been Liz he turned his
1:39:54attention to me and my insights melted
1:39:57all together when he
1:39:59smiled you look exactly the same I would
1:40:02have recognized you
1:40:04anywhere my voice wouldn't work for a
1:40:07second and my face was on fire but then
1:40:10I managed to breathe the word
1:40:14same so where do you
1:40:16work what he gestured to my
1:40:21dress your uniform
1:40:25oh oh no he thought my adorable dress
1:40:29the one that was supposed to make me
1:40:31stand out from the crowd to him was a
1:40:34waitress
1:40:35uniform kill me
1:40:37now I looked at Wes and he gave me a
1:40:41let's see how you're going to get out of
1:40:43this
1:40:44look I
1:40:46stammered my
1:40:48uniform yeah um I uh pick up hours
1:40:54sometimes at the diner what
1:40:57Diner the uh the
1:41:01diner Wes's face opened into a huge grin
1:41:06I love the
1:41:08diner Sweat Beads formed on the tip of
1:41:11my nose as I
1:41:12lied I barely ever work
1:41:15there Michael tilted his head just a
1:41:19little where exactly I wish you'd moved
1:41:22back into your old house young Wes
1:41:25interrupted because we could totally
1:41:27reup our last epic game of hide and
1:41:30seek I made a mental note to thank Wes
1:41:33later for the subject
1:41:34change Michael grinned and took a drink
1:41:37from his red cup can you
1:41:40imagine I prefer not
1:41:43to I smiled at him and ignored Wes's
1:41:47chuckle when our hideand-seek games
1:41:49turned epic that usually meant that Wes
1:41:52and the twins were terrorizing
1:41:54me how many times do you think I snuck
1:41:57over and warned you Michael's eyes ran
1:42:00over my face like he was reconciling the
1:42:03old and the
1:42:04new I saved you from so many bugs and
1:42:07frogs down your
1:42:09shirt Wes said the twins used to get so
1:42:13pissed when you helped
1:42:14her Michael Shrugged and turned his
1:42:17attention back to
1:42:18Wes I just couldn't let you do that till
1:42:21is Ed was back in my head as I watched
1:42:25Michael laugh with Wes the three of us
1:42:28tripped back a few years to our Firefly
1:42:32childhood and it felt so
1:42:35good how would you feel if I told you I
1:42:39loved
1:42:41you every time I see a Cheesy movie on
1:42:43TV I think a little
1:42:45Liz only when he said it Michael managed
1:42:49to make the word little sound sexy
1:42:53Li But he sounded like a sleepy Rancher
1:42:57when he said it as opposed to someone
1:43:00referencing the newest Mumble rapper Li
1:43:03Liz he lifted his cup and finished the
1:43:06last of his
1:43:07beer remember how she always watched
1:43:10Bridget Jones's Diary and got so mad if
1:43:14we made fun of it they had never known
1:43:17it was because that movie had been my
1:43:19mother's
1:43:20favorite do we have to reh hash the past
1:43:24I pushed my hair behind my ear and tried
1:43:27to direct them to a topic that would
1:43:29show Michael how interesting I was
1:43:31now I heard can you get me a
1:43:35beer Ashley was back holding her cup out
1:43:38to Michael and smiling at me like we
1:43:41were
1:43:42besties I'm bad with the keg and always
1:43:46end up with too much
1:43:48head GH she said it in that way you know
1:43:53the
1:43:54one Michael smiled but didn't sound
1:43:57flirty when he said
1:44:00sure he turned his back to us and
1:44:02grabbed the tap while she turned her
1:44:04attention to
1:44:05Wes are you going to prom
1:44:08Bennett Wes looked at me and raised an
1:44:11eyebrow
1:44:13smirking I haven't decided yet Dream on
1:44:18I muttered making him chuckle as Ashley
1:44:21continued a obvious to our
1:44:24exchange a whole bunch of us are going
1:44:27as a grp she was slurring pretty heavily
1:44:30now I started to wonder if we should
1:44:33find her friends you two should come
1:44:36we're getting a limo and
1:44:39everything I glanced at Michael but he
1:44:42seemed to have missed the comment thank
1:44:45God Wes leaned closer to her and
1:44:48said Ash did we do a little pregaming
1:44:52before the party
1:44:54Ash giggled and
1:44:56nodded at
1:44:58Benny's his mom was
1:45:01gone I see how about some
1:45:04water Wes grabbed her a bottle from the
1:45:07cooler of ice by The Keg and gave her a
1:45:09nice smile that I realized he'd never
1:45:13given to me not once I only received
1:45:17mocking grins sarcastic smirks and
1:45:21eyebrow quirks from my neighbor
1:45:25well I do love me some limo so I'll have
1:45:28to think about
1:45:29prom Michael turned around when is
1:45:34bro everything stopped for me as Wes
1:45:37took the beer Michael had poured for
1:45:38Ashley and set it aside she didn't even
1:45:42notice Wes said in 2
1:45:47weeks it was total
1:45:50slow-mo
1:45:51in two
1:45:56weeks Michael said to Wes it's so
1:46:00bizarre switching schools two months
1:46:02before graduation senior prom is
1:46:05supposed to be this really big deal but
1:46:08I don't even know any girls here yet
1:46:10except for lony you know me take me my
1:46:14beautiful Michael not the evil and vapid
1:46:18Laney I'd have to explain the change in
1:46:20plans to Jos but I could make her
1:46:23understand if my dream boy stepped up
1:46:26Michael gestured to weson me and asked
1:46:29are yall gone us my voice came out
1:46:33high-pitched and I waved a hand wildly
1:46:36between me and Wes while making an
1:46:38exaggerated face grateful Ashley had
1:46:41disappeared into the
1:46:43crowd Wes and I oh my God no are you
1:46:47kidding
1:46:48me yeah Wes shook his head and did this
1:46:52flashing motion with his hand we are not
1:46:56going anywhere together trust me I
1:46:59wouldn't go to the gas station with this
1:47:01one well I wouldn't invite you to the
1:47:04gas station so you can just shut your
1:47:06big mouth I sat around a smile following
1:47:09it up with a big old fake arm punch
1:47:13believe
1:47:14me Michael looked at us like we were
1:47:17funny Oh I thought I heard you were a
1:47:21thing
1:47:23yeah well you heard wrong I said
1:47:27horrified as I realized that I was the
1:47:29one who' started the rumor about
1:47:32myself God and how freaking fast was
1:47:36gossipy Ash honestly I'd have been
1:47:39impressed if I hadn't been so worried
1:47:41about her ruining
1:47:43everything way off base dude Wes tousel
1:47:47my hair and said no little Liz for
1:47:51me I slapped his hand
1:47:55nope
1:47:57oh Michael did a slow nod of
1:47:59consideration and then looked at
1:48:02me two weeks
1:48:05huh two weeks
1:48:08[Music]
1:48:10huh Goosebumps prickled up my arms as
1:48:14Sheeran floated back into my
1:48:17head so tell me what's happened since I
1:48:20moved Michael was apparently done
1:48:23thinking Wes and I were a thing and also
1:48:25finished making me light-headed by
1:48:28speaking the word prom in my
1:48:30presence do y all still hang out how
1:48:34about the Twins and
1:48:35Joselyn Wes and I looked at each other
1:48:38before I took over mainly because I
1:48:40didn't want him to say something
1:48:41embarrassing or unpleasant about me Wes
1:48:45and I see each other long enough to
1:48:47fight over the parking spot in front of
1:48:48our houses but that's pretty much it and
1:48:52Jos is actually my best friend now which
1:48:55even I find hard to
1:48:57believe he smiled at that and he had the
1:49:00kind of smile that made you feel like
1:49:02you'd done something right a million
1:49:05happy nerve endings were buzzing inside
1:49:08my body and I wanted to bask in that
1:49:11smile and make it never go
1:49:14away Ashley reappeared and said
1:49:16something to Wes making him turn his
1:49:19back to us to talk to her which was fine
1:49:21with me because it left Michael and me
1:49:24in one-on-one
1:49:26conversation I said the twins on the
1:49:29other hand now attend Horizon High they
1:49:32got sent to the alternative school after
1:49:34they landed in juvie for stealing a
1:49:36car what Michael's mouth dropped open
1:49:41but his eyes were still
1:49:42smiling their mom was super religious
1:49:45wasn't
1:49:47sheep I took a sip of the warm beer and
1:49:50did my best not to gag she still teaches
1:49:54classes on Catholicism every Wednesday
1:49:56night at St Patrick's but she has to
1:49:58wear a Scarlet Letter on her denim
1:50:00jumper
1:50:02scandalous he leaned his head
1:50:05closer this is wild I still can't
1:50:09believe it's you little Liz all grown
1:50:13up I
1:50:15know and who would have thought Michael
1:50:18from down the block would
1:50:20return my cheeks were warm as I also
1:50:23leaned closer so he could hear me over
1:50:25the party noise my heart was pounding as
1:50:28I went over the words as I had been for
1:50:31the past few hours over and over again
1:50:33in my head the Clock Was ticking so I
1:50:36needed to jump in with both feet I
1:50:40said I don't know if you knew it but
1:50:44when we were little I had the biggest
1:50:46crush on
1:50:47you his lips slid into a dashing grin
1:50:52well I'll be honest a kind
1:50:56of I don't know if Michael finished his
1:50:59sentence or not because just as I was
1:51:02having a tiny pleasure aneurysm at the
1:51:04next sentence's possibilities I heard a
1:51:07noise like the kind of gurgle a garden
1:51:09hose makes when you turn it on but the
1:51:12water hasn't quite made it out of the
1:51:14tube yet I glanced in the direction of
1:51:16the sound and Ashley opened her mouth
1:51:19wide and spewed chunky Brown vomit all
1:51:22over my front from my neck to my dress
1:51:25to my bare exposed
1:51:28kneecaps oh my
1:51:32God oh my God I glanced down seeing that
1:51:37I was covered in the liquefied remains
1:51:39of Ashley's stomach it was warm and
1:51:43thick and splattered across half my
1:51:45outfit making the top of my dress so
1:51:48drenched that it was sticking to my skin
1:51:51in my peripheral Vision I could see that
1:51:53there were wet chunks in the right side
1:51:55of my hair over by my ear but I couldn't
1:51:59focus on that because I could feel a
1:52:01trail of hot vomit running down my leg
1:52:04running down my
1:52:05leg I'm not sure if I made a sound or if
1:52:09I just looked victimized as I stood
1:52:11there with my arms extended but Wes
1:52:14quickly handed the vomitous blonde off
1:52:16to one of the girls standing nearby and
1:52:19then he was at my side I've got got
1:52:22clean clothes in my trunk Li let's get
1:52:24you up to the bathroom and you can clean
1:52:26up while I run to my car and grab
1:52:29them I couldn't even formulate words I
1:52:32just nodded and let him grab my elbow
1:52:35and Lead Me Through the gaping crowd who
1:52:38seemed to think my situation was both
1:52:40disgusting and
1:52:42hilarious and up the
1:52:44stairs I was fighting back my gag reflex
1:52:48and trying not to inhale that God awful
1:52:50smell as I died of Mor If
1:52:53ification Not only was I a puked on
1:52:55laughing stock but Michael had witnessed
1:52:58the whole gruesome
1:52:59ordeal talk about the opposite of a meat
1:53:02cute I was seriously going to die of
1:53:07embarrassment for sure it was in fact a
1:53:10thing my death was
1:53:12imminent when we got to the top of the
1:53:15stairs Wes steered me to a bathroom that
1:53:18was right off the kitchen he flipped on
1:53:20the light LED me inside side and bent
1:53:23his knees so he was at my level he
1:53:26looked into my face so I could see
1:53:28nothing but him and said get out of
1:53:31these clothes and clean up and I'll be
1:53:33right back
1:53:35okay I still couldn't formulate words so
1:53:38I
1:53:39nodded Michael appeared at the top of
1:53:42the stairs looking at me with his
1:53:44perfect nose crinkled up like he wanted
1:53:47to puke
1:53:48too but in a sympathetic way he he said
1:53:54at least you were wearing your uniform
1:53:56and not your own
1:53:58clothes now I wanted to puke and
1:54:03disappear so I just
1:54:05said
1:54:07yeah is there anything I can
1:54:10do he looked queasy at the sight of me
1:54:14but he still gave me a sweet smile and
1:54:16said in a Southern Comfort kind of
1:54:19way need me to fet you anything
1:54:23fetch
1:54:25oh I shook my head but felt oh my God
1:54:29something damp stick to my neck I
1:54:32gritted my teeth and said no but thank
1:54:36you I closed the door and turned the
1:54:39lock looked around and cursed whoever
1:54:42had built this house for not providing a
1:54:44shower in that particular guest bathroom
1:54:47you have got to be kidding
1:54:49me I glanced at the sink and apologized
1:54:53to Rhino whoever he was for what I was
1:54:57about to do to his
1:54:58bathroom first I tore off every little
1:55:02piece of clothing I had on including my
1:55:04underwear letting them fall into a
1:55:07disgusting pile on the White marble
1:55:09floor next I turned on the faucet and
1:55:13started shoving body parts under the hot
1:55:16running water left leg right leg left
1:55:19arm right arm I had to do do a near back
1:55:23bend to rinse my neck and torso spraying
1:55:26water all over the vanity and the floor
1:55:28before jamming my head directly under
1:55:30the
1:55:31water such a great idea Liz going to a
1:55:35beer party with
1:55:37Wes terrible
1:55:39judgment I could see the chunks slowing
1:55:42the sink drain as I rubbed my hair with
1:55:44a bar of soap so I had to be careful to
1:55:47keep my head raised just enough to avoid
1:55:50recontaminated my hair with sink yak
1:55:53I straightened and wetted down one of
1:55:55the guest towels and slathered it with
1:55:57another fancy bar of soap before giving
1:56:00myself a fullbody sponge
1:56:02bath I caught a glimpse of myself in the
1:56:05water splattered mirror wildly scouring
1:56:08my nude self in a stranger's bathroom
1:56:10while humming tiny moans of disgust and
1:56:13my brain added the next track to the
1:56:16album Hello Operator by The White
1:56:19Stripes the words weren't particularly
1:56:22befitting my uniquely horrible situation
1:56:25but the guitar riffs while I maniacally
1:56:27and nakedly scrubbed would have been
1:56:31Perfection Liz Wes was at the bathroom
1:56:35door do you want me to hand the bag
1:56:38through the door or should I just leave
1:56:40it here on the floor and go back
1:56:42downstairs if you could leave it that
1:56:45would be great the fancy bathroom was
1:56:48like a fun house with big mirrors all
1:56:51over the place so there was no way I was
1:56:53opening the door with Wes out there I
1:56:56would for sure end up showing him my
1:56:58bits thank you no problem he cleared his
1:57:04throat everyone is downstairs so if you
1:57:08just reach your hand out the door and
1:57:09swipe the bag no one will see
1:57:11anything okay there's a Target bag in
1:57:15the side pocket that you can put your
1:57:17dirty clothes in and I've got your purse
1:57:19downstairs do you need it
1:57:23no i' totally forgotten I even had a
1:57:26purse um
1:57:28thanks so much
1:57:31Wes he was being very unw nice to me or
1:57:35at least what I'd thought was UN
1:57:39Wesley I guess the reality was that
1:57:42maybe I didn't know who he was anymore I
1:57:45mean since we'd arrived at the party
1:57:47he'd actually been
1:57:50great no problem
1:57:53I'm going downstairs then I heard
1:57:56rustling outside the door and then it
1:57:58went quiet I covered my front with yet
1:58:01another guest towel totally didn't cover
1:58:03Enough by the way before I dropped to a
1:58:06squat cracked the door and stuck my hand
1:58:09through the opening I immediately made
1:58:11contact with the nylon string bag thank
1:58:14God I jerked it into the bathroom then
1:58:17closed and locked the door I needed to
1:58:19hurry and change if I was going to get
1:58:21another minute alone with Michael before
1:58:23Laney showed up and ruined
1:58:25everything we had been having a total
1:58:27movie moment before Blondie had rained
1:58:30her regurgitated food stuffs upon me and
1:58:33there was no way I was going to let that
1:58:35moment
1:58:36go I pulled the clothes out of the
1:58:39bag a jeez
1:58:42Wes I don't know what I'd expected him
1:58:44to have in the trunk of his car but I
1:58:47was going to look like a goofball in his
1:58:48sports clothes I stepped into the gray
1:58:51sweat pants and pulled them up but they
1:58:54were huge on me I had to roll the
1:58:56waistband down two times in order not to
1:58:59trip over the bottoms and I still
1:59:01suffered from a likely to be pantsed
1:59:04fate as one tiny tug would send those
1:59:07babies right to my
1:59:09ankles I pulled the Emerson baseball
1:59:12sweatshirt over my wet head again
1:59:16huge but it smelled like fabric softener
1:59:19and felt like a blanket so I kind of
1:59:22maybe liked it a little a horrified
1:59:25giggle escaped me when I saw my
1:59:28reflection a gray marshmallow in the
1:59:30soft puffy oversized fleece
1:59:34Ensemble my buff colored Mary Jan's with
1:59:37the square heels were going to look
1:59:38amazing with the outfit especially since
1:59:41they were also splattered with brown
1:59:44vomit I sigh and pulled my hair out of
1:59:47the sweatshirt Hood I was just going to
1:59:50have to text Wes that we needed to leave
1:59:52and I'd meet him in the car I hated
1:59:55leaving Michael and our big moment
1:59:58potential but I looked too ridiculous to
2:00:01stay
2:00:03only where's the
2:00:08no my phone was in my purse my phone was
2:00:11in my purse which was downstairs with
2:00:13Wes and Michael not to mention the rest
2:00:16of the party
2:00:17years I rolled my lips Inward and
2:00:20breathed through my nose
2:00:22was I on a hidden camera
2:00:24show I took a deep breath and opened the
2:00:27door to the basement steps I'd ditched
2:00:30Wes's hoodie opting instead to knot the
2:00:33back of the ginormous t-shirt I'd found
2:00:35wrinkled up in the bottom of his bag
2:00:38since looking sophisticatedly adorable
2:00:40was no longer in the cards for me I
2:00:43tried for the cool casual I look cute in
2:00:46my boyfriend's oversized clothing Vibe
2:00:49it probably looked more like the middle
2:00:50schooler in her brother's hand-me-downs
2:00:52Vibe but since I was out of options I
2:00:56preferred to be
2:00:57optimistic I didn't have a lot of time
2:01:00before prom so I was going to have to
2:01:02stick it out and make Michael fall for
2:01:04me vomit be
2:01:06damned the stairs were cold and Dusty
2:01:09under my bare feet and as soon as I
2:01:12reached the crowded floor I looked
2:01:14around for Wes desperate to get out of
2:01:17there before anyone noticed me something
2:01:20by ACDC was blaring but not loud enough
2:01:23for the words to be heard over the party
2:01:25sounds vomit
2:01:27girl some bear of a dude wearing a twoo
2:01:30tight Lakers jersey grinned at me you
2:01:33came
2:01:35back why why in God's name would I be
2:01:40vomit girl Ashley should have been vomit
2:01:43girl damn
2:01:44it I looked around the guy and spotted
2:01:47Wes my handbag was dangling from his
2:01:50elbow as he talked to Michael next to
2:01:52The Keg and I forced myself to ignore
2:01:55all the looks I was getting as the newly
2:01:57crowned vomit girl and waved my hand in
2:02:00his
2:02:01Direction almost instantly his gaze met
2:02:03mine his eyes took a quick dip over my
2:02:07baggy sweats and t-shirt combo and then
2:02:10his eyebrows went down before he walked
2:02:12toward me and pulled his keys out of his
2:02:15pocket I'm assuming you want to go yeah
2:02:19I turned my gaze to Michael who followed
2:02:22Wes over and I nervously ran a hand
2:02:25through my damp hair but his eyes were
2:02:28looking directly at my belly button not
2:02:30my
2:02:31hair oh God the huge sweatpants hung so
2:02:36low on my hips that I'd just exposed a
2:02:38lot of my stomach to the entire party I
2:02:41yanked down the bottom of the shirt but
2:02:43it was too late he gave me a smile that
2:02:46turned my insides to Mush and said I
2:02:51really like your
2:02:52tattoo oh God he saw the
2:02:56tattoo at least he'd set it in a totally
2:02:59non-h horny bro
2:03:00away oh
2:03:03thanks I resisted the urge to tug on my
2:03:06top again as I desperately hoped he
2:03:08wasn't being
2:03:09sarcastic Wes threw me a look of
2:03:12irritation his jaw
2:03:14flexing
2:03:16ready before I could respond Wes took a
2:03:19handful of my waistband and wrapped
2:03:21around his hand pulling it higher so my
2:03:24belly was entirely
2:03:26covered lizz's clothes are falling off
2:03:29so it's time for us to
2:03:30leave I froze when I felt Wes's hand on
2:03:33my skin I looked at his face as he
2:03:36looked down at me and I felt of
2:03:42kilter I wasn't sure if it was in
2:03:44response to his touch or his sudden
2:03:47cavem Manish
2:03:48protectiveness I also wasn't sure why it
2:03:51wasn't pissing me
2:03:52off I remained Tethered to Wes's left
2:03:55hand as he and Michael shared a goodbye
2:03:57bro handshake exchanging words I
2:04:00couldn't hear over the
2:04:02noise once they broke apart Michael gave
2:04:05me a little Solo Cup raise and a sweet
2:04:08smile before he turned and walked
2:04:11away bye I whispered under my breath
2:04:15watching him disappear into the
2:04:18rers come on
2:04:20bubal West hitched my handbag over his
2:04:23shoulder passed the handful of my pants
2:04:25to me and led me up the
2:04:28stairs let's get you home before you
2:04:31flash anyone
2:04:36else chapter 4 you're not as vile as I
2:04:40thought you were 10 Things I Hate About
2:04:44You So I looked out the windshield as he
2:04:48pulled away from the house where cars
2:04:51lined both sides of the street it
2:04:54occurred to me at that moment that Wes
2:04:56and his friends totally lived the super
2:04:58bad
2:04:59life did he say anything about me when I
2:05:01was
2:05:02changing he did actually he flipped on
2:05:06his blinker and turned the
2:05:08corner and it's probably going to piss
2:05:11you off oh God I looked at Wes's profile
2:05:16and waited for the awful
2:05:18news what he accelerated and switched
2:05:23Lanes it's just very clear that he still
2:05:26thinks of you as little
2:05:28Liz what is that
2:05:30mean his mouth curved a little but he
2:05:33kept his eyes on the
2:05:34road oh come on seriously what like he
2:05:40still thinks I'm in grade
2:05:41school he smiled and I shouldn't be
2:05:44smiling smile and
2:05:47said like he still thinks you're a nice
2:05:50little weirdo
2:05:52oh my God are you kidding me I stared at
2:05:56his grin and wanted to punch
2:05:59him why would he think I'm a weirdo now
2:06:03I was Charming as hell until your
2:06:04girlfriend puked on
2:06:06me it's not that he railed in his smile
2:06:11and shot me a quick
2:06:12glance it's just that he assumes you're
2:06:15the same person you used to be because
2:06:18he's been
2:06:19gone I wasn't a nice little
2:06:22weirdo his smile was back oh come on
2:06:27bubal I thought back to the old days in
2:06:30the
2:06:30neighborhood I
2:06:32wasn't yes you were you made up songs
2:06:36constantly about everything terrible
2:06:39songs that didn't even
2:06:41rhyme I was
2:06:43creative true I was less athletic and
2:06:46more dramatic than the rest of them but
2:06:49I wasn't
2:06:50weird and that was my theme
2:06:52music you lied about boyfriends all the
2:06:55time that was
2:06:57true you don't know they weren't real
2:07:00Prince Harry O I had forgotten about
2:07:05that
2:07:05one he could have been my boyfriend
2:07:08there was no way of knowing for
2:07:10sure he chuckled and pressed harder on
2:07:13the
2:07:14gas and the plays Li remember all the
2:07:17plays you were a one-woman Broadway show
2:07:20every damn day of the
2:07:23week
2:07:24wow I'd totally forgotten about the
2:07:27plays too I used to love creating plays
2:07:31and getting the whole neighborhood to
2:07:33act them out and yes I might have been
2:07:37the
2:07:38instigator but the rest of them had
2:07:40always played along so they had to have
2:07:42enjoyed it
2:07:43too theater is a noble calling and if
2:07:47you guys were too uncultured to
2:07:49recognize that then I feel sorry for you
2:07:53his chuckle turned into a laugh you
2:07:56begged Michael to be Romeo to your
2:07:58Juliet and when he wouldn't you climbed
2:08:00a tree and fake cried for an
2:08:02hour and you threw acorns at me trying
2:08:06to knock me
2:08:07down I think the point here is that he
2:08:11sees you differently from other girls
2:08:13because of your
2:08:14history I looked at him and
2:08:17wondered holy God had I been a little
2:08:23weirdo so I'm a weirdo to him forever
2:08:27and there's nothing I can do about
2:08:29it he cleared his
2:08:32throat well maybe
2:08:35not
2:08:37but he looked guilty and I
2:08:40said what did you do
2:08:43Wes I didn't do anything Buck bam you
2:08:48did he pulled to a stop at a red light
2:08:50and gave me fullon eye
2:08:53contact Michael and I were saying how
2:08:55bad it sucked that you got puked on and
2:08:58he made a comment about your ugly
2:09:01uniform my cheeks got hot as I
2:09:04remembered my beautiful outfit that was
2:09:06now
2:09:08ruined
2:09:10so so it was something about how it was
2:09:13classic Liz to wear a waitress uniform
2:09:16to a
2:09:17party and how you haven't changed a
2:09:20bit I side and looked out the window
2:09:23suddenly feeling hopeless about ever
2:09:25getting a shot with
2:09:28Michael
2:09:30awesome I told him that you're
2:09:32completely different
2:09:33now I glanced across the darkened front
2:09:37seat you
2:09:39did yep I told him that you sing less
2:09:43now and that you're kind of considered a
2:09:46hot girl at
2:09:48school my weirdo heart felt warm
2:09:52I'm considered a hot
2:09:55girl probably I mean you're not ugly so
2:09:58it's
2:09:59possible I don't
2:10:01know Wes kept his eyes on the road and
2:10:05sounded
2:10:06irritated I don't make it a habit to
2:10:08discuss you unless it's in the context
2:10:10of guess what my goofball neighbor did
2:10:13so I actually have no idea I was just
2:10:16trying to change his impression of
2:10:18you I rolled my eyes and felt
2:10:21ridiculously bummed that he'd made that
2:10:25up but here's your problem he put on his
2:10:29blinker and slowed as we approached a
2:10:31yellow
2:10:32light as I was doing my best to convince
2:10:36him that you're no longer a little
2:10:38weirdy he took it the wrong way and said
2:10:41like so you do like Liz I knew
2:10:46it oh no
2:10:51oh yes he looked over at me after
2:10:55stopping for the red
2:10:57light he thinks we're into each
2:10:59other
2:11:01no I dropped my head back onto the
2:11:04headrest and pictured Michael's face as
2:11:06he'd smiled and watched Wes in me he
2:11:10thought I was into Wes and it was
2:11:13entirely my fault I'd started the rumor
2:11:16for the love of
2:11:17God he'll never ask me to prom if he
2:11:20thinks you like me
2:11:23probably
2:11:24not g i blinked fast not wanting to get
2:11:29emotional but I couldn't help it as I
2:11:32kept picturing his
2:11:33face he was supposed to be my fate damn
2:11:37it and now Lany would have him in her
2:11:39clutches before I got my foot popping
2:11:42kiss and I got vomited on for
2:11:46nothing he did say something about you
2:11:48when we were leaving if that that makes
2:11:51you feel any
2:11:52better what when what did he say he
2:11:57accelerated around the corner and
2:11:58floored it all he said was I can't
2:12:03believe little Liz has a tattoo when I
2:12:06told him we were taking
2:12:07off I
2:12:09gasped well how did he say it he glanced
2:12:14over at
2:12:15me really I just mean did he say it like
2:12:19he was disgusted or like like he thought
2:12:22it was maybe kind of
2:12:24cool he kept his eyes on the road and
2:12:28said he definitely wasn't
2:12:32disgusted well at least there's that I
2:12:35stared out the window and watched as the
2:12:38lights of our neighborhood got
2:12:40closer what am I going to
2:12:43do if it were another guy I might have
2:12:46just given up and called projectile
2:12:48vomiting a cosmic sign
2:12:51but this was Michael
2:12:52Young I couldn't give up honestly the
2:12:56thought of it made my heart feel a
2:12:58little
2:12:59pinched there had to be a
2:13:02way I ran my teeth across my bottom lip
2:13:05and
2:13:06pondered I mean technically regardless
2:13:10of the self-inflicted rumor about Wes
2:13:12and me Michael had looked flirty when
2:13:15he'd looked at my
2:13:17tattoo it wasn't much but it was
2:13:20something
2:13:21right it proved that it was possible to
2:13:25change his little weirdo
2:13:27assumptions I just needed a chance to
2:13:30make him see all the things about me
2:13:32that had
2:13:33changed I felt hope bubbling back up I
2:13:37mean it wouldn't take long to open his
2:13:40eyes if I could just get some time with
2:13:42him right
2:13:45time and perhaps some
2:13:49help h
2:13:52you're so quiet Buck bound makes me a
2:13:56little terrified of what you're
2:13:58thinking
2:14:00Wesley I turned toward him in my
2:14:03seat with my winningest grin I
2:14:06said
2:14:08buddy I have the best
2:14:11idea God help me he pulled his car into
2:14:16the spot took the keys out of the
2:14:18ignition and said through a half smile
2:14:22what is your terrible
2:14:25idea well I started looking down at my
2:14:29hands and not moving to get out of the
2:14:32car hear me out before you say no again
2:14:36with this you're scaring me shh I took a
2:14:41deep breath and
2:14:42said what if we let people think we're
2:14:46dating but only for like a
2:14:48week my cheeks were hot as as I waited
2:14:51for him to make fun of me his eyes
2:14:54narrowed and he looked at me for a long
2:14:57second before
2:14:59saying what exactly would that
2:15:04solve I'm still working this out so bear
2:15:07with me but if we pretended to kind of
2:15:11be into each other for a week then that
2:15:13could help Michael see that I'm no
2:15:15longer a little Liz he already thinks
2:15:18we're
2:15:19dating why not use that to show him I'm
2:15:23a perfectly viable romantic
2:15:26option he drummed his long fingers on
2:15:28the steering
2:15:30wheel why is this so important to
2:15:33you I blinked and rubbed my eyebrow with
2:15:36my index
2:15:38finger how was I supposed to answer that
2:15:41question how could I tell him I was sure
2:15:43the universe had sent Michael back to
2:15:46me I hated that my voice was thick when
2:15:49I said
2:15:51I honestly have no idea really I just
2:15:54know that for some reason it really
2:15:56really
2:15:57is does that sound
2:15:59silly he stared out the windshield in
2:16:02front of him with an unusually serious
2:16:04look on his face after a few seconds I
2:16:08wondered if maybe he hadn't heard me but
2:16:11then he
2:16:12said what's silly is that it
2:16:16doesn't
2:16:18really really
2:16:21he cleared his throat and turned to look
2:16:23at me his West smirk back in
2:16:27place now what's in it for me if I do
2:16:30this besides the joy of setting you up
2:16:32with the dude you want to bang of
2:16:34course
2:16:36gross I cleared my throat and was glad
2:16:39he was back to being the smartass I knew
2:16:42introspective understanding Wes was kind
2:16:44of too much to
2:16:46take I
2:16:48said you can have the spot for another
2:16:52that hardly seems like enough I mean are
2:16:54you going to expect me to take you out
2:16:56again well that would help
2:17:00yeah I tucked my hair behind my ears and
2:17:03was hyper aware of how quiet it was in
2:17:06his
2:17:06car Wes crossed his arms as his mouth
2:17:10slid into a smug smile of
2:17:13satisfaction I've got it I've got a
2:17:16brilliant
2:17:18plan doubtful
2:17:21shh he reached over and put his whole
2:17:25Palm which smelled like soap over my
2:17:28face for a second before relaxing back
2:17:30into the driver's
2:17:32seat I will pretend like I'm trying to
2:17:35get something going with you even though
2:17:37you're not that into
2:17:39me
2:17:41okay in addition to that I will actively
2:17:45try to help you get Michael extol your
2:17:48many virtues to him
2:17:51even though I knew there had to be a
2:17:53catch it was fun seeing Wes get into the
2:17:57idea I
2:17:59asked what's in it for
2:18:01you if you successfully get him to ask
2:18:04you to prom as a result of my
2:18:07assistance I get the spot
2:18:09forever I reached for the door
2:18:12handle
2:18:14forever not a chance you're not
2:18:17listening I'm talking about me providing
2:18:19my expertise in getting him to prom you
2:18:21up our current Arrangement was just for
2:18:24me to let you ride along to a party what
2:18:27I'm talking about would be me giving you
2:18:30Insider info working on Michael for you
2:18:33giving you helpful hints fashion advice
2:18:36Etc fashion advice I
2:18:39snorted that's right fashion advice
2:18:43etc for example if you're going to a
2:18:46party and you want Michael to think
2:18:47you're hot dress like it instead of a
2:18:50waitress Doris Day a waitress Doris Day
2:18:54sounds like an excellent aesthetic for
2:18:56your
2:18:57information but honestly I can't get
2:18:59over the fact that you know who Doris
2:19:01Day
2:19:02is what my grandma likes pillow
2:19:06talk I loved that
2:19:08movie maybe there was hope for Wes
2:19:11yet she also likes pickled pigs feet and
2:19:14attempting to escape her retirement
2:19:16home ah there it
2:19:19was he flipped slipped his keys around
2:19:21his
2:19:22finger
2:19:24so are you
2:19:26in I took a deep
2:19:28breath if he could help me with
2:19:31Michael I'd give him the spot along with
2:19:35the moon and the stars and possibly a
2:19:39kidney I inhaled and
2:19:42said I'm
2:19:43in good
2:19:45girl he got out of the car slammed the
2:19:48door and came around to my side just as
2:19:51I was closing mine he leaned down a
2:19:54little and
2:19:55murmured I'm going to love my forever
2:19:58spot by the
2:19:59way I rolled my eyes encourageable
2:20:05boy you don't have to walk me to the
2:20:07door
2:20:08West he took the bag from my hand
2:20:11Anyway come on it's not every day that a
2:20:14guy has the chance to carry a girl's
2:20:16sack full of vomity clothes to the door
2:20:18for
2:20:19her true
2:20:22that made me smile to the point of a
2:20:24laugh
2:20:26although I sure hope I can manage to
2:20:28hold up my own pants without your help I
2:20:31doubt you can I literally saved your ass
2:20:34at the
2:20:35party he walked beside me up to my house
2:20:39and I could smell his
2:20:40cologne it smelled good and fresh and an
2:20:45addac would probably say it had notes of
2:20:49pine but I near nearly stumbled as I
2:20:52realized that I recognized it as
2:20:54his that was Wes's scent plain and
2:20:59simple so when had that knowledge
2:21:04occurred I must have subconsciously
2:21:06noticed it during our parking dust UPS
2:21:09or perhaps he'd been wearing it since
2:21:12puberty but when we got to the porch and
2:21:14he handed me the bag I looked up at his
2:21:17face and was overcome by the feeling
2:21:20that I was waking from a dream or
2:21:22something because how else did it make
2:21:24sense that I'd just left a beer party at
2:21:27the Mansion of one of the populars and
2:21:30now Wes Bennett was on my porch and we
2:21:33weren't
2:21:34arguing but the most surreal part of it
2:21:37by
2:21:38far was that it didn't necessarily feel
2:21:42wrong it kind of felt like the start of
2:21:46something I
2:21:48said thanks for the clothes and
2:21:51well
2:21:53everything you were way cooler than I
2:21:56expected of course I
2:21:58was he gave me a smile then a smile that
2:22:02was different from all the others he'd
2:22:04ever given
2:22:05me it was a nice smile genuine like the
2:22:09one he'd used with his friends at the
2:22:11party I didn't mind being looked at like
2:22:14that by
2:22:15him he said don't forget to wash your
2:22:19dirty uniform before you next shift I
2:22:22imagine the diner probably takes great
2:22:26pride in their employees
2:22:28appearances I smiled back at
2:22:31him I'll kill you if you ever
2:22:34tell my lips are sealed
2:22:40Libby the next morning at work I was
2:22:43feeling positive about the whole outing
2:22:45as I replayed it in my mind I mean yes I
2:22:49got vomited on Mr Wright thought my
2:22:51adorable dress was a job
2:22:53uniform and oh yeah he also thought I
2:22:56was still a weirdy I hoped that was
2:22:59Wes's personal term and not one that had
2:23:01ever left Michael's lips in reference to
2:23:03me but those were the only
2:23:06negatives yes I had an outrageously
2:23:09unrealistic optimistic
2:23:11Nature Michael had also seemed fairly
2:23:13interested in attending prom so I still
2:23:16had a chance especially with Wes helping
2:23:19to illuminate the non- weird once was a
2:23:22caterpillar but is now a beautiful
2:23:24butterfly
2:23:25Li Jeff I said the name loudly and a
2:23:30silver-haired customer in red suspenders
2:23:32and matching Red Sneakers walked in my
2:23:35direction with two books in his hand he
2:23:37stopped at the counter and held out his
2:23:39claim ticket I grabbed it and said we
2:23:43can give you $24 for your
2:23:45records his furry eyebrows squinched
2:23:48together like two caterpillars and his
2:23:51lips
2:23:52flattened
2:23:54$24 I know for a fact that the Humper
2:23:56dink album is worth at least that much
2:23:58by
2:24:00itself you're probably right I started
2:24:04desperately wanting to roll my
2:24:06eyes old record dudes were the worst
2:24:10they always knew what their LPS were
2:24:12worth to other old record dudes and
2:24:15consistently argued with me when I
2:24:17offered them half of what we could
2:24:18actually sell them for
2:24:21but at this store we'll only be able to
2:24:23get a fraction of that for it you're
2:24:26certainly welcome to hold on to it if
2:24:28you think you can sell it online for
2:24:30more he glared at me without saying a
2:24:33word just stood there and eyeballed me
2:24:37as if his powerful stare were going to
2:24:39make me shrink and start throwing money
2:24:41at him I'd been working at Dicks used
2:24:44books for 3 years and I could pretty
2:24:47much look at a person entering the store
2:24:49and know if they were going to try to
2:24:50haggle or not I stared back with a smile
2:24:55of course and waited for him to grow
2:24:57tired of his big man games a solid 20
2:25:01seconds went by before he finally
2:25:03said I don't need two copies I guess
2:25:07I'll take your
2:25:09offer yes I knew that you
2:25:12would I was ringing up his credit when
2:25:14the bell on the front door
2:25:16tinkled good morning I said not looking
2:25:20at up from the cash
2:25:21register can you tell me where your fart
2:25:24books
2:25:25are I looked up and there was Wes
2:25:29looking as serious as a heart attack and
2:25:31Jeff the old swung his gaze in Wes's
2:25:35Direction excuse me I had to distort my
2:25:39face to keep from laughing I wasn't
2:25:41going to smile at his
2:25:43childishness not in front of a customer
2:25:45at
2:25:46least Wes was wearing basketball shorts
2:25:49and a surely not everybody was kung fu
2:25:51fighting hoodie his dark hair sticking
2:25:54up in the front like he'd showered and
2:25:57rubbed his hand over it instead of using
2:25:58a
2:25:59brush I wasn't sure when he'd gotten so
2:26:02long and lean and
2:26:04ropey but honestly it was a good look if
2:26:09you were into guys like
2:26:11Wes your fart books
2:26:15hello he said it with great impatience
2:26:18like I was the one acting strangely for
2:26:20just staring at him I need some relief
2:26:23ma'am where are the books on
2:26:26gastrointestinal
2:26:28emergencies I handed old Jeff his money
2:26:30and receipt thank you very much have a
2:26:34great day he muttered and put the money
2:26:37in his wallet before leaving the
2:26:39store I glanced at Wes and shook my head
2:26:43what is wrong with you he Shrugged I'm
2:26:48funny no I don't think that that's it
2:26:51why are you here because I like books
2:26:55and he turned around and looked at the
2:26:58store behind
2:26:59him
2:27:01records is that so what's your favorite
2:27:05record he pointed at the album I'd just
2:27:08bought from old Jeff that one angelbert
2:27:13humperdink really yep no one RS quite
2:27:18like the dink could listen to that
2:27:21angelbert or as I like to call him Big E
2:27:24spit Rhymes all day
2:27:27long seriously why are you
2:27:30here he stepped closer to the
2:27:33counter I needed to talk to you and your
2:27:36stepmom said you were
2:27:37here
2:27:39stepmom it' be normal for me to think of
2:27:42Helena like that and to call her that
2:27:46but for some reason I never could it was
2:27:49either my dad and Helena were my dad's
2:27:54wife I'd lived with her for years now
2:27:58but she was still just Helena to
2:28:01me what's
2:28:02up Michael texted me this morning he did
2:28:07my mouth dropped wide open and I let out
2:28:10a squeal that should have embarrassed me
2:28:12but didn't because it was just Wes I
2:28:15tiny clapped and said what did he say
2:28:18did he mention me what did he say
2:28:21he grinned and shook his head at me like
2:28:23I was an over sugared
2:28:25toddler so a bunch of us are going to
2:28:28the game
2:28:29tonight would this be a ball
2:28:34game I turned the pricing gun to $3 and
2:28:37started labeling the clearance
2:28:39books I had told Jos I'd go dress
2:28:42shopping that night mainly because I
2:28:44needed to create an opening to mention
2:28:46the party before she heard about the
2:28:48barf incident at school on Monday
2:28:51if I could appease her on the dress she
2:28:53might not give me too much grief about
2:28:55the
2:28:56party basketball
2:28:59how would I know that because
2:29:02it's basketball season and we're in the
2:29:07playoffs I just gave him a shrug and
2:29:09kept labeling which made him
2:29:12smile anyway me and Michael and some of
2:29:16the guys are going and I thought it
2:29:19might be a casual way for you to hang
2:29:21without other girls stealing your
2:29:23thunder I stopped
2:29:25tagging did you seriously just imply
2:29:28that I'm invisible if other girls are in
2:29:30the
2:29:31equation no God you're uptight I no I'm
2:29:37not you're
2:29:39not I set down the gun and put my hands
2:29:42on my hips no I most definitely am
2:29:46not one side of his mouth slid up
2:29:51you're wearing a dress at a thrift store
2:29:53for books your planner is scarely
2:29:56organized and every one of your prize
2:29:58tags is perfectly straight up
2:30:02tight I squinted at him while closing my
2:30:05elaborately colorcoded and stickered
2:30:08planner this is a skirt and sweater not
2:30:12a dress I freaking adored my plaid Kilt
2:30:16ruffled cardigan and nearly knew never
2:30:18been vomited on leather Mary
2:30:21Jan's same difference when everyone else
2:30:25is in jeans you're skirted up I rolled
2:30:28my
2:30:29eyes just because I like dresses and I'm
2:30:32organized doesn't mean I'm
2:30:34uptight sure it
2:30:36doesn't I picked up the gun and started
2:30:39labeling faster irritated that he seemed
2:30:42to disdain everything that I
2:30:45was so finish telling me about
2:30:47basketball before I hurt you
2:30:50that's pretty much it if you ride with
2:30:52us you'll have time to show how cool you
2:30:54are on the way to the
2:30:55game I stopped with the tags again and
2:30:59imagined Michael and me lost in smiles
2:31:02and indepth conversation in the back of
2:31:05an intimate
2:31:06car a little one-on-one SES of Liz
2:31:09coolness huh God help us
2:31:13all I ran a finger over the top of the
2:31:16gun and asked
2:31:17him that when wouldn't be weird you
2:31:21bringing me he did a no biggie
2:31:25shrug nah it's super
2:31:28chill then um yeah I straightened and
2:31:34set down the gun yet again excited about
2:31:37this unexpected
2:31:39opportunity
2:31:40totally Count Me
2:31:43In here's the thing though Liz he pulled
2:31:47a set of keys from his pocket and
2:31:48flipped them around his Ang
2:31:50ER don't get all pissy with me for
2:31:53saying this but I'd like to help you
2:31:56with your
2:31:57outfit excuse me I tilted my head and
2:32:01couldn't quite believe he had said that
2:32:04to
2:32:05me I think I've got it but thank
2:32:09you seriously you need to listen to me
2:32:13if it's about fashion I seriously don't
2:32:16no
2:32:17offense some taken
2:32:20but this isn't about that this is about
2:32:23the fact that no one is going to buy
2:32:24into the idea of you just casually
2:32:26watching some hoops if you're wearing a
2:32:28roughly dress and shoes with flowers on
2:32:31them I blew the bangs out of my
2:32:34eyes Bennett I do own a pair of jeans
2:32:38you know Color Me
2:32:41surprised he put his palms on the desk
2:32:43and leaned on his
2:32:44arms his face was closer and I got
2:32:48distracted by the super light freckles
2:32:50I'd never noticed and the way his
2:32:52eyelashes weren't just long but also
2:32:55perfectly
2:32:57curled but I bet they aren't even normal
2:33:01like um they're probably those weird
2:33:04wasted trendy jeans right or jeans with
2:33:07creases ironed into them and cuffs on
2:33:09the
2:33:09bottom
2:33:12nope well he said sighing like this was
2:33:17important I think if you're serious
2:33:19about the home Michael thing you need to
2:33:21expand your
2:33:23closet are you kidding me with this Kung
2:33:26Fu
2:33:27hoodie he grinned like I'd just
2:33:29complimented his outfit and rubbed a
2:33:32hand over the lettering on his
2:33:34shirt hear me out I know what girls at
2:33:38our school wear girls like Laney Morgan
2:33:42yeah remember her as if I could forget
2:33:45her good skin good Instagram following
2:33:49good ating history and a doting
2:33:52mother enviable and
2:33:55Unforgettable are you gritting your
2:33:57teeth
2:33:58l i released the clench and said
2:34:02no continue with your
2:34:05rambling if you want to land your man
2:34:08you need to quit being stubborn and let
2:34:10me help
2:34:11you I just don't think you're
2:34:14capable of coaching you to the win or
2:34:16picking out your clothes for sure the
2:34:19clothes
2:34:20I reached down and grabbed a stack of
2:34:22books off the bottom shelf of the
2:34:24cart doubt crept in as he spoke like we
2:34:28were officially planning
2:34:31something what was I even doing trying
2:34:34to liveaction my own personal version of
2:34:36She's All That to be honest though the
2:34:40part of me that loved makeover romcoms
2:34:42was a tiny bit
2:34:44intrigued but I liked myself I liked my
2:34:48clothes I wasn't little weirdo and I
2:34:51didn't need Wes's fashion
2:34:54assistance listen he grabbed a piece of
2:34:57paper off the counter and
2:34:59said what if we just stroll through the
2:35:01mall and I point out things that look
2:35:04cool you'll be with me so you don't have
2:35:07to get anything you don't
2:35:09like but it wouldn't hurt you to look
2:35:11like an actual high schooler when you're
2:35:13trying to charm your long lost love
2:35:15right nothing wild or trashy
2:35:19just something that doesn't make you
2:35:20look like a
2:35:22librarian I was clearly losing my mind
2:35:27because all of a sudden it seemed like
2:35:30maybe it wasn't a bad idea to go with
2:35:32Wes and see what he thought I should be
2:35:35wearing I wasn't about to change my
2:35:37looks for a boy screw that thought
2:35:40forever but if he could point me to an
2:35:43outfit that I liked and he thought made
2:35:47me look less uptight
2:35:49that wouldn't be a bad thing would
2:35:52it I'm pretty broke right now so I can't
2:35:56afford to go for a rich hot girl is
2:36:00there a way to do a girl on a budget
2:36:03moderately attractive
2:36:04look he gave me a Full Throttle grin
2:36:09then the grin of someone who just beat
2:36:12someone
2:36:13else trust me
2:36:15bubal I got
2:36:17you as soon as he left I texted
2:36:21Jos G looks like I have to work a double
2:36:25can we dress shop tomorrow so
2:36:29sorry I felt like a garbage friend I
2:36:32knew I needed to stop putting her off
2:36:34and just do the dang dress thing
2:36:36already but I was really having a hard
2:36:39time forcing myself to step
2:36:42up perhaps
2:36:47tomorrow chapter 5
2:36:51just because she likes the same Bizarro
2:36:53crap you do doesn't mean she's your
2:36:55soulmate 500 Days of
2:36:58Summer seriously Wes I looked around
2:37:02this door and couldn't shake the guilt
2:37:05it was one thing to blow off shopping
2:37:07with your best friend to do another
2:37:08activity but blowing off shopping with
2:37:10your best friend to shop with someone
2:37:12else it felt like crossing a big old
2:37:15line you are
2:37:18ridiculous he grabbed grabbed a red
2:37:20tunic from a display rack and threw it
2:37:22into the
2:37:23cart ridiculously smart now you only
2:37:26have to go into the fitting room
2:37:28once I looked at the heaping cart and
2:37:32wondered if he knew that you could only
2:37:33take in six items at a time I didn't say
2:37:37anything though because the man was on a
2:37:39mission he' picked me up from the
2:37:42bookstore when my shift was over sped
2:37:44the two blocks to the mall and nearly
2:37:46pulled my arm out of its socket every
2:37:48time I failed to keep up with his brisk
2:37:51Pace apparently Wes hated
2:37:54shopping we were in devish the high
2:37:58school trendy worldwide franchise store
2:38:00that I usually avoided I was all about
2:38:03buying vintage clothes online or hunting
2:38:06through thrift stores for the perfect
2:38:08throwback piece devilish wasn't my game
2:38:13Wes had asked me my size when we'd
2:38:15entered the three-level store and since
2:38:18then he'd been hurling items into the
2:38:20cart like he was on some kind of speed
2:38:22shopping game show we had finally taken
2:38:25a pause in the middle of an aisle
2:38:27between the sequin and revealing formal
2:38:30dresses and the faux business
2:38:33attire Wes looked through the contents
2:38:35of our cart holding up a few items to
2:38:37reconsider them either nodding or
2:38:40shaking his head
2:38:41thoughtfully finally he said I think we
2:38:45probably have
2:38:46enough I tried not to sound sarcastic
2:38:49when I I
2:38:50said
2:38:52probably he pointed a finger at me and
2:38:54said but I know you well enough to know
2:38:57this is my only
2:38:58shot
2:39:00true he'd tossed in jeans t-shirts some
2:39:04super cute tops some not so cute tops
2:39:08the boy was definitely covering all of
2:39:10his
2:39:11bases but why so much white he pushed
2:39:15the cart toward a huge rack of folded
2:39:17shirts and said people with red hair
2:39:19look good and white shouldn't you know
2:39:22that I just followed trying not to smile
2:39:26at his confidence in his own fashion
2:39:29beliefs I missed that
2:39:31memo he grabbed a handful of shirts and
2:39:34added them to our
2:39:36pile white and green dude those are your
2:39:39go-to
2:39:40colors I couldn't stop the laugh
2:39:44dude
2:39:46noted he stopped manic shopping for a
2:39:49second and smiled down at me his eyes
2:39:53warm as they traveled over my face it
2:39:57reminded me of the look Rhett gave
2:39:59scarlet and Gone With the Wind when he
2:40:01attempted to tie her new Bonnet for her
2:40:04it was a look that admitted he knew
2:40:06nothing about what he was doing and that
2:40:08he knew he looked
2:40:10foolish but he didn't care because he
2:40:13was enjoying
2:40:14himself it was weird but part of me
2:40:18thought that might be the the case with
2:40:20Wes not that he like liked me but I felt
2:40:24like he enjoyed our verbal
2:40:26sparring honestly I did too when he
2:40:29wasn't saying things that made me want
2:40:31to choke him
2:40:32out he reached out and grabbed a plaid
2:40:35flannel shirt from a
2:40:37rack that wasn't going to work for
2:40:39spring but I didn't say anything I just
2:40:42tucked my hair behind my ears and let
2:40:44him finish it didn't Escape my notice
2:40:47that our makeover is shop trip was
2:40:50exactly like I'd imagined but it was
2:40:52more the ugly truth than she's all that
2:40:56it was so reminiscent of Mike taking
2:40:58Abby shopping that it was almost funny
2:41:00only Wes wasn't the leading man and I
2:41:03wasn't falling for
2:41:04him think we should head to the fitting
2:41:06room he asked oh praise the Lord you're
2:41:10finally done
2:41:12yes he charged toward the fitting room
2:41:15leaning his big body on the cart and I
2:41:18was a little impressed by his Focus he
2:41:21hadn't checked out anyone since we'd
2:41:23arrived at the store and there were a
2:41:25lot of girls in that place trendy girls
2:41:28that were just his type but he was all
2:41:30about the shopping
2:41:33Liz I glanced up and holy there was
2:41:38Jos exiting a room Jos crap crap crap
2:41:43what were the odds what were the
2:41:45freaking odds there was nowhere to hide
2:41:49nowhere to hide Wes as she looked at me
2:41:52with confusion on her
2:41:54face I thought you were
2:41:57working she walked over and glanced at
2:41:59Wes before
2:42:00saying a double
2:42:03right
2:42:05I felt like I'd been caught
2:42:07cheating and I wanted to
2:42:10disappear but at the same time I looked
2:42:13at her and realized I'd much rather be
2:42:15nonsense shopping with Wes than dress
2:42:17shopping with her because there were no
2:42:20ties with Wes no connections to anything
2:42:24painful prom dress shopping on the other
2:42:26hand was layered in melancholic Bindings
2:42:30that made me feel a world of things I
2:42:32didn't want to
2:42:33feel first there was the fact that by
2:42:36watching Jos and her mom shop for
2:42:38dresses together I got to hyperfocus on
2:42:40the fact that my mom wasn't there to
2:42:42shop with me next the event we were
2:42:46buying them for made me dwell on the
2:42:48reality that my mother wouldn't be there
2:42:50on prom night to help me get ready or
2:42:53take too many
2:42:54pictures and then of course there was
2:42:56the dress
2:42:57itself my mother had been smitten with
2:43:00Formal Wear and trying on dresses with
2:43:03her would have been a fashion show of
2:43:04Epic Proportions complete with homemade
2:43:07lookbooks and jewelry
2:43:10pairings I got off
2:43:12early I was a horrible person I saw her
2:43:16glance into the heaping cart and I said
2:43:19and when I got home Wes's car was dead
2:43:21so he asked if I could give him a ride
2:43:23to the mall he's buying a present for
2:43:25his
2:43:26mom what was
2:43:28happening it was alarming the way the
2:43:30lies were just pouring out of my
2:43:33mouth I know how to speak bucks Bal
2:43:37Christ he gave me a look and then shook
2:43:40his head at Jos while my heart
2:43:43raced he asked her you got any ideas and
2:43:46what to get my mom for her birthday has
2:43:49pulled a cart full of clothes and I'm
2:43:51not
2:43:52convinced I'd trust her if I were you
2:43:56Jos draped the shirt she was holding
2:43:57over her arm and told him no one is as
2:44:01good at gifting as
2:44:02Liz are you
2:44:04sure he gave me side eye because she's
2:44:08wearing a kilt
2:44:10Jos she started laughing and I felt like
2:44:13it might be okay she said to Wes she's
2:44:17got her interesting Style thing but it's
2:44:20by choice you're good if you say so she
2:44:25adjusted the shirt that was hanging over
2:44:27her arm and said call me later Liz I
2:44:31want to do the dress thing tomorrow and
2:44:32I swear to God I'm going to get for real
2:44:35pissed off if you ghost me again I
2:44:38won't
2:44:39promise I felt grateful enough that she
2:44:42wasn't pissed about my West shopping
2:44:44trip that I genuinely meant it promise
2:44:49she said goodbye and headed for the
2:44:50register and the second she was out of
2:44:53earshot Wes said your pants are so on
2:44:57fire shut it I thought you guys were
2:45:01besties we are I rolled my eyes and
2:45:05gestured for him to push the cart toward
2:45:07the dressing
2:45:08room it's
2:45:10complicated he stood still and
2:45:13said
2:45:15how what I wanted to push him and
2:45:19physically get that big body going as he
2:45:22still wasn't
2:45:23moving how is it
2:45:25complicated he looked genuinely
2:45:28interested could it actually be that Wes
2:45:32cared I sighed and groaned a little
2:45:35running a hand through my
2:45:37hair part of me wanted to tell him about
2:45:39all of it but Wes wouldn't understand my
2:45:42grief any more than Joss
2:45:45would I don't
2:45:46know sometimes I keep things to self and
2:45:49it causes
2:45:50tension Wes tilted his
2:45:53head is everything okay I mean you're
2:46:00okay his face was I don't know sweetly
2:46:06concerned it was a little unnerving how
2:46:09sincere he looked and something deep
2:46:12inside me didn't hate
2:46:14it I waved a hand and said it'll be fine
2:46:19and thanks for going along with it I got
2:46:23you
2:46:24bubel he watched me for a minute like he
2:46:27was waiting for more but then he winked
2:46:30and leaned on the
2:46:31cart you're on my team
2:46:34now God help
2:46:36me he finally wheeled the cart into the
2:46:39fitting room area and proceeded to drop
2:46:41into one of the waiting chairs stretch
2:46:44his legs out in front of him and cross
2:46:46his
2:46:47arms what are you doing
2:46:50his eyes narrowed a
2:46:51fraction
2:46:53sitting but why I'm not trying these on
2:46:57for you oh come on Liz if I'm
2:47:00responsible for making you over I need
2:47:02oh my God you are not making me over are
2:47:05you serious with
2:47:07that sometimes he was beyond
2:47:10infuriating I'm taking your opinion into
2:47:13consideration but I'm not pathetic and I
2:47:16don't need Wes broi it to make me
2:47:20over he looked up at me with laughing
2:47:24eyes I think Michael was right about you
2:47:27being high
2:47:28strung you're impossible please go
2:47:31somewhere else how are you going to know
2:47:34how they look if I'm not here I have
2:47:37eyes eyes that okay a waitress uniform
2:47:40for a party remember that was an
2:47:43adorable dress debatable and does the
2:47:47use of the past tense mean it wasn't
2:47:51salvageable no there was vomit in the
2:47:54pockets I said M could bu last
2:47:57night he smirked at that and his dark
2:48:00eyes crinkled at the
2:48:03corners well I'm sorry it was an ugly
2:48:06dress but it didn't deserve to
2:48:09die I rolled my eyes and the fitting
2:48:12room attendant walked out from the
2:48:15back how
2:48:17many a few
2:48:19Wes muttered at the same time I said how
2:48:22many can I take in at a time
2:48:25a only eight Wes's voice was loud in the
2:48:30tiny dressing room area come on that's
2:48:32going to take
2:48:33forever I ignored him and took eight
2:48:36items to a fitting room the third top I
2:48:39tried on a slouchy white fleece thing
2:48:42that fell off one shoulder in a way that
2:48:44would look adorable with a tank
2:48:46underneath was actually cute
2:48:49I paired it with faded jeans that had
2:48:51shreds all over them and I was glad Wes
2:48:54had suggested this he'd managed to find
2:48:57me something trendy that I liked I
2:49:00couldn't believe it just as I was
2:49:02switching into an emerald green sweater
2:49:04I heard him say can you possibly change
2:49:08a little faster I'm falling asleep out
2:49:11here don't you have some shopping to do
2:49:14while you wait for me I think I saw a
2:49:16sale on obnoxious jock costumes in the
2:49:19back
2:49:21ouch he whistled you're so mean give me
2:49:26two minutes and I'm done
2:49:29seriously he sounded shocked
2:49:33seriously but you're only on the first
2:49:35eight I pulled off the sweater and put
2:49:38my shirt back on sliding my feet into my
2:49:40shoes while straightening my hair in the
2:49:43mirror I got what I needed so there's no
2:49:45reason to keep
2:49:47going he seemed doubtful when I came out
2:49:50like he didn't trust my answer but when
2:49:53we got to the register he looked like he
2:49:55approved of the items I'd
2:49:57selected I still can't believe I'm
2:50:00taking fashion advice from you I feel
2:50:02like this is some kind of rock
2:50:05bottom I handed my debit card to the
2:50:07cashier and looked at the small stack of
2:50:09clothing on the counter I pointed at The
2:50:12Shoe Box sitting right beside my
2:50:14clothes those aren't mine I have great
2:50:18teeth
2:50:19I'm like your own personal fairy
2:50:21Godfather Wes gestured to the shoes and
2:50:24those are my
2:50:25contribution what he leaned an arm on
2:50:29the counter and gave the cashier a smile
2:50:31that said see what I'm dealing
2:50:34with I know you don't have any Chucks
2:50:36Libby and you definitely need
2:50:39some you bought me shoes not shoes Chuck
2:50:44Taylor I looked at his funny smirk and
2:50:48had no no idea how to react so I reached
2:50:51out and opened the
2:50:53box Wes had bought me
2:50:55shoes no boy had ever bought anything
2:50:58for me yet here was Wes the antagonistic
2:51:02neighbor boy spending his own money
2:51:05because he thought I needed
2:51:06Chucks I touched the white
2:51:10canvas when did you even have time to do
2:51:13that when you were in the dressing room
2:51:16he looked sweet as he smiled down at me
2:51:19and said I asked CLA to take care of
2:51:22it who is Claire the dressing room
2:51:26attendant pay
2:51:28attention the cashier handed me the
2:51:30receipt and my bag and I was still
2:51:33fumbling around with how to
2:51:35react it was sweet and thoughtful and so
2:51:41unw um thank you for the
2:51:45shoes I quit gushing book
2:51:49B he smiled big enough that his eyes
2:51:52squinted it's
2:51:55embarrassing we left the store and
2:51:57before we hit the mall exit I made him
2:52:00go into Avison with me my favorite store
2:52:03it was like Kate Spade Style on a TJ
2:52:06Maxx budget mostly dresses and skirts
2:52:09and delicate
2:52:11accessories Holy balls it's like a giant
2:52:15version of your
2:52:17closet I knew he meant it as a dig but
2:52:20as I headed toward the sail racks in the
2:52:22back I said thanks I meant that this
2:52:26feels like a nightmare I ignored him and
2:52:29started flipping through the
2:52:31racks like an actual
2:52:34nightmare monsters and goblins and God
2:52:38awul flower dresses sh I'm trying to
2:52:42shop I found a sail shelf and started
2:52:45digging while he leaned against the wall
2:52:47and looked at his phone part of me
2:52:50wondered if his incessant teasing was
2:52:52his way of flirting I mean from another
2:52:55guy it's so would be but this was Wes
2:53:00he'd always teased and tormented me so
2:53:03why would I take it any differently than
2:53:04I had in the
2:53:06past it was his
2:53:08way wow that dress is so Liz bucks Bal
2:53:13hm I glanced up and he was pointing at a
2:53:17mannequin that dress it is so
2:53:20you I followed his point to the
2:53:22mannequin and was totally taken aback
2:53:26because to clarify he wasn't pointing at
2:53:29just any mannequin he was pointing at my
2:53:33mannequin the one who was wearing my
2:53:36hounds tooth sheath the dress I'd Fallen
2:53:39instantly in love with when it had
2:53:41arrived 2 weeks before the one I'd
2:53:44looked at online no less than 20 times
2:53:46since then it was pricey so I was
2:53:50forcing myself to wait until I could ask
2:53:52my dad to buy it for my
2:53:53birthday but there was something about
2:53:55the fact that Wes looked at it and
2:53:57thought it was me that
2:53:59was
2:54:01something it made me
2:54:04happy I actually love that dress see I'm
2:54:10incredibly intuitive for a fairy
2:54:12Godfather I readjusted The shoulder
2:54:15strap of my bag and said let's go
2:54:18before I throw up on your
2:54:21uniform as soon as I got into his car my
2:54:24phone buzzed it was a notification that
2:54:27insipid Creations new album had just
2:54:29dropped I must have made a little sound
2:54:32of excitement because Wes said what
2:54:36nothing I just saw that the album I
2:54:38pre-ordered is shipping today shipping
2:54:42Grandma he put his key in the ignition
2:54:44and said you don't stream music like the
2:54:47youths
2:54:49I slammed my
2:54:50door of course I do but some things are
2:54:54meant to be played on
2:54:56vinyl he glanced over as he started the
2:54:59car and I buckled my seat
2:55:01Bel have you always been so into music I
2:55:05mean I think I see you with headphones
2:55:07on more often than
2:55:09not pretty much I shoved my phone into
2:55:13my purse and looked out the
2:55:15window my mom put me in piano lessons
2:55:18when I I was four and I fell in love
2:55:19with it and then she used to play this
2:55:22game with me where we created
2:55:23soundtracks for
2:55:25everything
2:55:27seriously Wes looked over his shoulder
2:55:29before backing out of the parking
2:55:31spot yep we would spend hours and hours
2:55:35selecting The Perfect songs to go along
2:55:37with whatever event we were
2:55:40soundtracking I realized as I set it out
2:55:42loud to the interior of his car that I'd
2:55:45never told that to anyone before
2:55:48it was a memory that had solely belonged
2:55:51to her and me and I'd always found it to
2:55:54be terribly sad that I was the only one
2:55:56on the planet who knew about
2:55:58it until now I
2:56:01guess I smiled but sounded like a frog
2:56:05when I
2:56:06said I made one for summer camp for
2:56:09Christmas vacation for the six we
2:56:12swimming course that I hated and never
2:56:15passed anything and everything was
2:56:17worthy of a
2:56:19soundrack Wes looked away from the road
2:56:21long enough to glance at me and then it
2:56:24was like he sensed I didn't want to talk
2:56:26about my mom
2:56:28anymore so that's what it is his mouth
2:56:32slid up into a
2:56:34grin you made a soundtrack for you and
2:56:37Michael what I turned a little in my
2:56:40seat and knew my cheeks were instar
2:56:44red what are you talking about how in
2:56:47God's name did he know about that relax
2:56:51Miss love your secret is safe with
2:56:54me I have no idea what you I saw the
2:56:59paper Wes looked like he was trying not
2:57:02to laugh as his entire face
2:57:05smiled I saw the paper so it's pointless
2:57:08to deny it it was sitting on your
2:57:10planner this morning and it said the
2:57:12soundtrack of M and L oh my God bucks
2:57:16Bal that is freaking a
2:57:19adorable I laughed even though I was
2:57:23mortified shut up
2:57:25Wes what songs are on it
2:57:29seriously seriously I want to know is it
2:57:32all boot knocking songs like genuine and
2:57:359in nails or is it cheesy romance was
2:57:38Taylor Swift on the
2:57:40list since when is 9-in Nails boot
2:57:43knocking music I'm the one asking
2:57:46questions here
2:57:48I just sighed and looked out the
2:57:52window well can we make a
2:57:54soundtrack I hate you he said oh come on
2:58:00don't you have better things to do than
2:58:02this I gestured between the two of us
2:58:06teasing but also kind of interested in
2:58:08his answer was it all about the spot or
2:58:12was it maybe a little about
2:58:14me
2:58:16seriously of course
2:58:18but I'd sell my own grandmother for the
2:58:21spot this he said mimicking my gesture
2:58:26is all about moving Wes's car closer to
2:58:30wessie and there was my
2:58:33answer such a disgusting
2:58:36nickname I kept my gaze fixed on the
2:58:39windshield but I could hear the grin in
2:58:41his voice when he
2:58:42said so back to the soundtrack of w
2:58:46andl what should we put on on it you're
2:58:49an ass I'm not familiar with that little
2:58:52diddy but you're the audio file here not
2:58:55me I was actually thinking of something
2:58:57more like the love theme from
2:59:00Titanic if we were making a soundtrack I
2:59:04said pointing at his face and were not
2:59:09it would be all about the parking
2:59:11war ah yes the parking
2:59:14War he put on his blinker and came to a
2:59:17stop at the red
2:59:20what song would accompany that glorious
2:59:22battle not
2:59:25Titanic okay so
2:59:28then H I closed my eyes and thought not
2:59:33caring that he was being
2:59:34sarcastic this was my favorite thing in
2:59:37the entire world to
2:59:38do first we need to decide if we want
2:59:41the song to be an accompaniment to the
2:59:43scene or if we want it to be a j
2:59:46toos he did didn't an answer and when I
2:59:49opened my eyes he was watching
2:59:52me he swallowed and
2:59:55said ju to position for
2:59:59sure
3:00:01okay I ignored that and kept
3:00:03going so if we're thinking about the day
3:00:06that you taped my windshield like a
3:00:08total
3:00:09miscreant I would select something that
3:00:12celebrated you you know because you were
3:00:15remarkably Unworthy of Celebration
3:00:19Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder he
3:00:23suggested oh I like that I hummed the
3:00:27first bar before saying or the rose
3:00:31pigeons have a song called he's so
3:00:33pretty it hurts my eyes and it cataloges
3:00:36how sweet and amazing some dude is so
3:00:39that's totally the ju toos of you in the
3:00:41parking War right I did what I had to do
3:00:45All is fair and love and parking
3:00:48when he pulled up in front of the
3:00:50bookstore so I could get my car I
3:00:52thanked him and grabbed my bags he said
3:00:55he was going to text Michael and mention
3:00:57I was coming and he also said he would
3:00:59throw in some good words about me I
3:01:02wanted to help him craft the perfect
3:01:04adjectives but I bit my tongue I stepped
3:01:07out of his car and just when I was about
3:01:09to slam the door he said you should
3:01:11maybe straighten your hair for
3:01:13tonight I'm sorry it sounded like you
3:01:17just told me me how I should wear my
3:01:19hair I knew that he was trying to help
3:01:21me when Michael but did he realize that
3:01:24it made me feel like total when he
3:01:26acted like my style was a joke I was
3:01:30100% good with my fashion choices I
3:01:33dressed for me and me
3:01:35only but it still didn't feel good to
3:01:38know that he didn't like the way I
3:01:40looked my hair was in a braid at that
3:01:43moment and though it wasn't particularly
3:01:45cool it also wasn't like I had hair hair
3:01:48down to my ankles that had never seen a
3:01:50brush
3:01:51either since that can't be right what
3:01:54did you actually
3:01:56say he held up a
3:01:58hand that came out wrong all I meant was
3:02:02that instead of just changing up your
3:02:05clothes you should give Michael the
3:02:08fullon hot girl
3:02:09treatment he still thinks of you as
3:02:11little Liz but if you show up looking
3:02:14like the kind of girl he's dated since
3:02:16moving away it might be a good
3:02:19start I still didn't like it but he had
3:02:21a
3:02:22point so what's the plan for
3:02:25later I'll pick you up at
3:02:275ish okay where are the Chucks you're
3:02:31not the boss of me I said it with a
3:02:34teasing childish pout but I was still
3:02:37confused as to why he'd bought me the
3:02:40shoes everything else that he'd hand
3:02:42selected from my new Liz wardrobe I'd
3:02:45paid for so why had he gone to the
3:02:48trouble of paying for them while I'd
3:02:50been
3:02:51changing why had he paid for them at
3:02:53all he put his big hands together as if
3:02:57praying can you pretty please wear the
3:03:02Chucks we'll
3:03:07see chapter
3:03:106 when I'm around you I kind of feel
3:03:13like I'm on drugs not that I do drugs
3:03:17unless you do drugs in which case I do
3:03:19them all the time all of them Scott
3:03:22Pilgrim versus the
3:03:25world at 4:45 I tied my Chucks which I
3:03:29had to admit looked pretty cute with my
3:03:31whole sporty Ensemble and went
3:03:34downstairs they were comfortable and
3:03:36something about them made me kind of
3:03:39soft but I wasn't going to waste a
3:03:42minute trying to figure that out my dad
3:03:45had taken my grandpa to the driving
3:03:46range so was quiet in the house Helena
3:03:50was around somewhere but I wasn't sure
3:03:52where the doorbell rang and I couldn't
3:03:55believe it Wes was early I walked over
3:03:59to the door but when I pulled it open it
3:04:01was Joselyn not Wes oh hey I'm sure my
3:04:07face totally showed my shock at seeing
3:04:09her instead of Wes and I tried hard not
3:04:12to look
3:04:13shook what are you doing here her mouth
3:04:17dropped open for a sec and she looked me
3:04:19up and
3:04:20down oh my
3:04:23God who did this to you I glanced down
3:04:27at my
3:04:28clothes um I want to tongue kiss them
3:04:32you look
3:04:34incredible she walked through the front
3:04:36door and my mind was racing as I shut
3:04:39the door behind her I still hadn't told
3:04:42her about the party or the game or
3:04:45Michael or Wes or any of the
3:04:47questionable things I was doing with my
3:04:48personal life and Wes was going to be
3:04:51there any minute now
3:04:54did you buy this when you were with
3:04:57Wes she was still smiling so she wasn't
3:05:00pissed at me
3:05:03yet yeah That Jag actually found a
3:05:07couple of nice things my cheeks were hot
3:05:11and I felt like the guilt was all over
3:05:12my face I was a garbage
3:05:16friend go
3:05:18figure oh hey
3:05:20Jos Helena came out of the kitchen
3:05:23looking way cooler than me in jeans and
3:05:25a hockey jersey I thought I heard the
3:05:27door do you want to pop or
3:05:30something God Wes would be there any
3:05:33second with his big mouth no
3:05:36pop no thanks I only have a sec I'm on
3:05:39my way to get my little sister from
3:05:40soccer but Liz won't respond to my texts
3:05:43so I had to stop by crap h Hela smiled
3:05:48and said she's the worst right Joselyn
3:05:52smiled at Helena but also leveled me
3:05:55with a
3:05:56look
3:05:58right I um I'm about to leave too I
3:06:03swallowed and hoped I could get her out
3:06:05of there quickly in 5 minutes where are
3:06:09you going Helena had asked the question
3:06:12but they both stood there staring at me
3:06:15as I tried to come up with something
3:06:19um Wes from next door is going to the
3:06:21basketball game and he um asked if I
3:06:25want to go I mean it's a casual no big
3:06:29deal thing I was just bored and it
3:06:31sounded less boring you know I totally
3:06:36don't want to go but I said I would
3:06:38so joselyn's eyebrows shot
3:06:42up you are going to a basketball
3:06:46game she said said it like I just
3:06:48professed myself a
3:06:51Triceratops with
3:06:53Wes
3:06:55Bennett Helena crossed her arms over her
3:06:58chest didn't you call the parking police
3:07:01on him a few days ago no I um I said I
3:07:06almost did I spit out an awful fake
3:07:09laugh and
3:07:10Shrugged yeah honestly I have no idea
3:07:13why I said I'd go with him I knew
3:07:16exactly why
3:07:18did Bennett make you buy those Chucks
3:07:19too Joselyn was staring at my
3:07:22shoes because you hate those
3:07:26shoes it was true I'd always thought
3:07:29Converse high Toops were ugly and
3:07:31utterly lacking in arch support now I
3:07:34had a weird affinity for them that made
3:07:37me question my own mental
3:07:40fortitude they were on clearance so I
3:07:43said what the
3:07:44hell again with the terrible laugh
3:07:48why not buy some Chucks
3:07:50right Jocelyn did a little headshake
3:07:53like she had no idea what she was
3:07:56witnessing same girl
3:08:00same well person I used to know I only
3:08:05swung by because my mom needs to know
3:08:08which day we're going dress shopping
3:08:09next
3:08:11week ironically after I'd finally agreed
3:08:14earlier to go shopping with her her mom
3:08:17had had to reschedule for a different
3:08:19day initially I was relieved to put it
3:08:22off longer but now it felt like the
3:08:24universe just wanted to torture me at
3:08:27this point I kind of just hoped for a
3:08:29dress to be stuffed into my closet so I
3:08:32could stop hearing the phrase dress
3:08:34shopping oh I love dress
3:08:37shopping Helena tilted her head and
3:08:40added I rarely wear them because sitting
3:08:43like a lady sucks but every spring I
3:08:46want racks and racks of floral
3:08:49dresses this is prom dress shopping
3:08:52Joselyn was still looking at my clothes
3:08:54as she said Liz and I are going together
3:08:57and my mom said she can take us dress
3:08:59hunting
3:09:01oh Helena blinked and glanced at me for
3:09:04a second and I felt like a
3:09:07monster she'd mentioned multiple times
3:09:10that she thought I should go to prom
3:09:11because I'd regret it if I didn't and
3:09:14she'd also mentioned multiple times that
3:09:16she could take me dress shopping and we
3:09:18could make a whole day of
3:09:20it she thought it would be so
3:09:24fun but that had been like a month ago
3:09:28and I'd kind of
3:09:30Forgotten kind
3:09:32of my feelings about Helena doing the
3:09:35things my mom should have been there to
3:09:36do with me were tricky and most of the
3:09:40time I just avoided them until they went
3:09:43away or until this happened
3:09:47well I'm sure that will be a
3:09:50blast her eyes were sad but she said
3:09:54just don't get anything too revealing
3:09:56okay
3:09:57guys Joselyn grinned we'll do our best
3:10:01but no
3:10:02promises the doorbell rang it had to be
3:10:05West this time right and I felt nauseous
3:10:08as both of their eyes landed on me I
3:10:11squeezed in between them and stepped
3:10:13toward the door that's probably Wes
3:10:18I wrapped my fingers around the doorknob
3:10:20and braced myself what were the odds
3:10:22that Wes would keep his mouth shut and
3:10:24not sick jelyn and Helena on me with
3:10:26talk of our
3:10:27collusion I pulled the door open and
3:10:30tried to communicate the situation with
3:10:32only my eyes I hoped they were saying
3:10:35don't make this worse but it's likely
3:10:38that I just looked
3:10:40Twitchy hey I said Wes was smiling but
3:10:45as he looked at me his smile changed
3:10:48into a weird thing like the smile of
3:10:51someone who'd just discovered something
3:10:53it slid up into a wide grin and he
3:10:56said you're a good
3:10:58listener I slammed the
3:11:01door um Jos pursed her lips and Helena
3:11:06furrowed her
3:11:08brows what's the plan
3:11:10here sighing I opened the door again and
3:11:14held up a hand don't talk seriously can
3:11:18you just not say a word until we're in
3:11:20your car or maybe like
3:11:24ever hi Wes Helena gave him a little
3:11:28wave I take it you found Liz this
3:11:31morning he gave me a look that was the
3:11:34equivalent of a tongue stick out and
3:11:36beamed at Helena I did thank you I don't
3:11:41think Liz appreciated my presence at her
3:11:43workplace but I got there just the same
3:11:46J tilted her head so you went to her
3:11:51work to ask her to go with you to the
3:11:52game tonight I
3:11:55did a casual
3:11:57observation Wes had grown into a pretty
3:11:59attractive guy I mean I wasn't
3:12:03personally attracted to him but the
3:12:05faded t-shirt he was wearing showcased
3:12:08some well-defined biceps combined the
3:12:11muscles with his mischievous smile and
3:12:13heavy LED dark
3:12:15eyes and he was pretty fine just not my
3:12:19type at
3:12:20all Liz Jos gave me a loaded look can I
3:12:26see you in the bathroom for a minute not
3:12:29a
3:12:30chance we really have to go actually but
3:12:33I'm sure I'll wait Wes came fully inside
3:12:37the foyer and swung his keys around his
3:12:40finger take your
3:12:42time Joselyn grabbed my elbow and pulled
3:12:45me all the way to the tiny back bathroom
3:12:47that sat just past the kitchen as soon
3:12:50as the door closed behind us she said I
3:12:52thought Wes's car was dead this
3:12:54morning what she sighed you told me that
3:12:59he needed a ride to the mall because his
3:13:01car was dead but Helena just said that
3:13:03he drove to dicks to find
3:13:05you holy crap Helena said that was I so
3:13:10distracted by Wes that I'd totally tuned
3:13:12them
3:13:13out
3:13:16crap I cleared my throat and said no his
3:13:20car died at
3:13:23Dicks that's not what you told me at the
3:13:26mall how was I supposed to remember what
3:13:28I told anyone anymore Not only was lying
3:13:31an uncool thing to do but it was also
3:13:34hard to keep on top
3:13:36of yes it
3:13:38is she
3:13:40sighed
3:13:41whatever the bottom line is that you are
3:13:44about to go on a date with Wes Bennett
3:13:45girl
3:13:47it's really more nope she shook her head
3:13:52for someone super into love and
3:13:54you're kind of
3:13:55Clueless now listen to me Wes came to
3:13:59your house this morning and when you
3:14:01weren't here he drove all the way to
3:14:02your work to ask you to go to the game
3:14:04with him when he knows you are clueless
3:14:07about
3:14:08sports oh no no no no she was getting
3:14:13the wrong idea and if she heard the
3:14:15rumor that I actually you know started
3:14:19at the party and hadn't had the guts to
3:14:21tell her about yet I was
3:14:23screwed hey you know it's the truth and
3:14:27then he pretended to need your shopping
3:14:29help this is a date Liz a
3:14:33date I wanted to tell her what was
3:14:36really going on but I was a coward I
3:14:39knew she'd act like I was Michael's
3:14:41obsessed stalker and I just couldn't
3:14:44hear it I liked Wes's description better
3:14:47anyway Michael was my long lost love I
3:14:52said it isn't a date but I agree that it
3:14:56has date
3:14:58potential finally something that wasn't
3:15:01a lie it did have date
3:15:04potential just not regarding
3:15:07Wes so do you want
3:15:10that if I'd referenced a certain boy in
3:15:13a way that was easily misconstrued well
3:15:17that wasn't my fault was it I gave a
3:15:20shrug and
3:15:22said I don't know I mean he's gorgeous
3:15:27and fun sometimes you know well yeah of
3:15:32course I know everyone loves Wes I just
3:15:35thought you hated
3:15:37him was that a thing did everyone love
3:15:42Wes I mean it had seemed like the
3:15:45attendees of the keg party adored him
3:15:47but it hadn't occurred to me that it
3:15:49went beyond his Social Circle I lived
3:15:53next door to him and we went to the same
3:15:56school was it possible he was loved
3:15:59universally without my ever
3:16:02knowing I
3:16:03said oh I do but hating him is fun
3:16:09sometimes
3:16:10so that made her laugh and opened the
3:16:14door I don't get it and we're going to
3:16:17have to talk tomorrow about this new
3:16:18look of yours but I just wanted to make
3:16:21sure you weren't misleading our boy
3:16:24Wesley when we got back to the front
3:16:26door Helena was making Wes laugh as she
3:16:29shared her take on The Dating reality
3:16:31show that had had its finale the night
3:16:34before I mean the woman actually said
3:16:37the words I want a man who will put
3:16:39flower petals on my bed every single
3:16:41night if he thinks it makes me happy if
3:16:44that isn't a red flag I don't know what
3:16:46is
3:16:47because who would ever want that right
3:16:51Wes gave Helena one of his best
3:16:54Smiles someone has to clean that stuff
3:16:57up thank you
3:16:59Wes Helena threw up her arm in
3:17:02appreciation of his
3:17:04commiseration and wouldn't you have to
3:17:06dust the pedals off the bed before
3:17:08boarding anyway I mean nobody needs
3:17:11flower petals sticking to their parts am
3:17:13I
3:17:14right Wes said I know I
3:17:18don't Jos lost it and Wes was laughing I
3:17:23mean it was pretty funny but Helena was
3:17:27purposely missing the point of the
3:17:29Romantic
3:17:30statement yeah it maybe was a little
3:17:33cheesy but there was something to be
3:17:35said for making the grand
3:17:37gesture my mom would have
3:17:40understood you ready to go bug spalm Wes
3:17:44turned his attention to me and my face
3:17:46grew hot as his eyes did a trail over my
3:17:50hair and
3:17:51outfit I hated the way my complexion
3:17:53always showed the world what I was
3:17:55feeling and I desperately wished there
3:17:57was a way to turn down the heat on my
3:18:00cheeks alas no such
3:18:03luck you definitely look ready for some
3:18:06hoops he said with an eyebrow
3:18:09raised but I'm still not sure you can
3:18:11pull it
3:18:12off my vote is no Jocelyn leaned in and
3:18:17lowered her voice care to make a wager
3:18:20Bennett you guys are
3:18:24hilarious Liz knows nothing about sports
3:18:28I opened the front door now I'm going to
3:18:31go watch the team sprain some ankles you
3:18:34coming or not Wes it's break some
3:18:38ankles he gave Joselyn and Helena a
3:18:41skeptical look that made them both
3:18:43chuckle as he said and I'm right behind
3:18:46you
3:18:48Helena said don't forget that your dad
3:18:50and I are going to the movies tonight
3:18:52and won't be back until late okay I
3:18:55pulled the door closed behind us
3:18:57stressing about whatever the hell Jos
3:18:59was thinking now and said to Wes God you
3:19:03need to chill with the charm okay his
3:19:06eyebrows went up excuse me I had to let
3:19:10Jos think I might like you so cool it
3:19:13those two are your target audience they
3:19:16totally go for your boy of Mischief Vibe
3:19:19I gave him knock it off eyes and pointed
3:19:21at him as we approached his car so for
3:19:24the love of God turn it down or they are
3:19:27going to be all over me to actually date
3:19:30you he opened the door for me and leaned
3:19:33his arms on the top of the window while
3:19:35I got
3:19:36in that would be the worst right the
3:19:40absolute
3:19:41worst he slammed the door and I buckled
3:19:44my seat belt as he walked around the car
3:19:47he got in and started the engine and I
3:19:50couldn't help but notice that he
3:19:52smelled really really good I couldn't
3:19:55stop
3:19:57inhaling is that soap or
3:20:01deodorant his big hand landed on the
3:20:03shifter and his eyebrows crinkled when
3:20:06he looked over at
3:20:07me
3:20:09pardon you smell really good but it
3:20:12isn't your usual
3:20:14scent he didn't put the car in Drive but
3:20:17instead just looked at
3:20:19me my usual
3:20:21scent don't act like I'm weird your
3:20:24normal cologne is kind of like Piney but
3:20:28tonight you smell more I don't know
3:20:33spicy the image of him shirtless and
3:20:35putting on deodorant popped into my head
3:20:39and I cleared my throat sending it
3:20:42away his voice was deep and kind of
3:20:45rumbly as he gave a throaty
3:20:47chuckle holy Liz bucks Bal knows my
3:20:53scent you know what forget it I was glad
3:20:57he' just put the car in gear and was
3:20:59pulling away from the curb because if he
3:21:02looked at me I was certain my cheeks
3:21:04were
3:21:05Crimson you smell like
3:21:07ass that made him slide into a full-on
3:21:10laugh spicy piny ass you
3:21:13mean hilarious I turned on his radio in
3:21:17hopes of a subject change it seemed to
3:21:20work because he said I can't believe
3:21:22you're actually wearing the
3:21:24clothes he turned on his blinker and
3:21:26slowed for the corner I fully expected
3:21:29to see you in a grandma dress when I
3:21:31showed up I spent money on them of
3:21:34course I'm going to wear them he glanced
3:21:37over and looked directly at my outfit
3:21:39before returning his gaze to the
3:21:42road what the
3:21:44hell I toyed with one of the threads on
3:21:46my shredded jeans and wondered what he
3:21:49thought not that I was thirsty for a
3:21:52compliment from West Bennett because I
3:21:53so wasn't but you couldn't look directly
3:21:57at someone's outfit and not comment on
3:21:59such
3:22:00outfit
3:22:02right it was totally
3:22:04disconcerting did it not look
3:22:07good I scratched at the crisscrossing
3:22:10shreds and
3:22:12said I suppose I owe you a thank you not
3:22:16for trying to make me over you asswad
3:22:20but still not over that I
3:22:23see because I like this
3:22:26outfit I never would have noticed it on
3:22:29the rack but I like it see I'm good nope
3:22:35I leaned forward and started scanning
3:22:36radio stations that's all the props
3:22:39you're getting from me today unless you
3:22:41want me to spew like your blonde
3:22:44friend no thanks
3:22:47I glanced into his empty back
3:22:49seat where are the guys they're at
3:22:53Adam's house we're all going to load
3:22:55into his Minivan and he's
3:22:58driving just like that my stomach was a
3:23:00ball of
3:23:01nerves I didn't know his friends so that
3:23:05was stressful enough but the thought of
3:23:07sitting in the back of a minivan with
3:23:09Michael brought out all the worries
3:23:12because I wanted so badly for him to see
3:23:15I wasn't l Liz
3:23:17anymore everyone is super chill so don't
3:23:21worry it was like he read my mind but
3:23:24before I could give it too much thought
3:23:26he said oh I like that song I do too I
3:23:31stopped scanning surprised that Wes and
3:23:34I agreed on anything it was Paradise by
3:23:38bosy which was pretty old and pretty
3:23:41poppy but it was one of those songs that
3:23:44just had a feel to it like along with
3:23:47the notes you also received a healthy
3:23:49dose of summery sunshine that kissed
3:23:51your shoulders as you walked downtown at
3:23:55dusk his phone buzzed at that moment and
3:23:58we both glanced down at where it sat in
3:24:00the cup holder the top of the little
3:24:03notification box said Michael
3:24:06Young looks like your boy is
3:24:09texting oh my God I pictured Michael's
3:24:12face and my heart speed picked up you
3:24:16look
3:24:16I don't text in
3:24:18Drive how very responsible of you I said
3:24:22as I grabbed his iPhone holding it felt
3:24:25oddly personal like I was holding the
3:24:28book of his social life in my hands I
3:24:31wondered who was saved in his favorites
3:24:34who he texted on a regular basis and God
3:24:37help me what images lived on his camera
3:24:41role not really I just hate death in
3:24:45prison
3:24:47understandable although I must tell you
3:24:49I'm utterly fascinated by someone so
3:24:51casual about having their phone in
3:24:53someone else's
3:24:54hands I have no secrets he said and I
3:24:59wondered if that were
3:25:01true passcode please his lock screen
3:25:05picture was a shot of his dog Otis which
3:25:08was pretty dang adorable he'd had that
3:25:10old golden retriever for as long as I
3:25:12could
3:25:13remember 0504 4 2 1 thank you I opened
3:25:20his messages and looked at what Michael
3:25:22had sent Michael so did you talk Liz
3:25:26into coming holy crap he asked if I'm
3:25:30coming I turned down the volume on the
3:25:32radio and said to Wes does that mean
3:25:35he's hoping
3:25:36yes since he's texting me he muttered
3:25:41giving me side eye and a jaw
3:25:43Flex I'm going to go with
3:25:47no he might I didn't like that
3:25:51answer you don't
3:25:54know sounds like he's just taking a head
3:25:57countless he looked over at me and
3:26:00pointed to his
3:26:01phone want to answer
3:26:03him
3:26:05seriously he gave a
3:26:07shrug why
3:26:09not I
3:26:11inhaled um okay uh
3:26:16you're
3:26:17pathetic Wes turned down a wooded Street
3:26:21I think a solid answer would be yep
3:26:24don't
3:26:25you I said the words out loud as I
3:26:28texted yep we are almost there
3:26:34send I was about to set the phone in
3:26:37Wes's cup holder when it buzzed in my
3:26:39hands Michael sweet I'll put in a good
3:26:43word for
3:26:44you Wes
3:26:46me awesome dude I glanced over at Wes
3:26:51then
3:26:52added BTW I love your hair you have to
3:26:56tell me what product you use in it I bit
3:26:59my lip to hold in the Smile Michael
3:27:03you're joking right I glanced at Wes
3:27:06again before quickly adding dead serious
3:27:09you're my hair hero see you in a
3:27:12few I put the phone in the cup holder
3:27:15and gave Wes a full smile when he pulled
3:27:17in front of a house and looked my
3:27:19way this is it he said as he put it in
3:27:23park his eyes going up to my hair before
3:27:26returning to my
3:27:28face
3:27:30ready has a heart attack you know that's
3:27:33not right
3:27:34right yeah sometimes I forgot that not
3:27:38everyone was in my head I like mixed
3:27:42metaphors the side of his mouth hitched
3:27:45up how very rebellious of you
3:27:48Elizabeth I just rolled my eyes and got
3:27:51out of his car we didn't even go up to
3:27:54the front door I followed Wes as he
3:27:57walked around the house and opened the
3:27:59fence gate but he stopped short of going
3:28:02into the yard causing me to run into his
3:28:04back God Wes I felt ridiculously awkward
3:28:08as I rammed my breasts into his back
3:28:11what are you
3:28:12doing he turned around and looked down
3:28:15at me the tiniest hint of a smile on his
3:28:19lips there was something about his smile
3:28:23the way it not only showed off perfect
3:28:25teeth but also made his dark eyes fun
3:28:28and
3:28:29twinkly that made it impossible not to
3:28:32smile
3:28:33back I just want to remind you that
3:28:36Michael thinks I'm trying to make ground
3:28:38with you so if he doesn't seem into you
3:28:41don't take it
3:28:43personally he's a good guy so he's
3:28:46probably going to keep his distance
3:28:48until he knows we're not a thing
3:28:52cool I didn't know if it was the slight
3:28:54breeze that was doing it or the fact
3:28:57that he was so close but his masculine
3:29:00cologne or deodorant he'd never answered
3:29:04my
3:29:05question kept finding my nose and making
3:29:08it really
3:29:09happy I inhaled again and tucked my hair
3:29:12behind my
3:29:14ears are you trying to reassure
3:29:17me his eyes squinted like he wanted to
3:29:20grin but he gave his head a little
3:29:23Shake God no you're on your own
3:29:26emotionally speaking I'm just in this
3:29:28for the forever spot the smile took over
3:29:31my lips whether I wanted it to or
3:29:34not okay
3:29:36good he tousel my hair like I was a
3:29:39little kid the Jag and then started
3:29:43walking toward the unattached garage in
3:29:45the back
3:29:47his sudden physicality had been jarring
3:29:49familiar and strange all at once but it
3:29:53took me a minute to fully
3:29:55recover I could see three people
3:29:57standing next to the first door and I
3:29:59quickly finger combed my hair as I
3:30:02followed my pulse quickening as I don't
3:30:05know these people nerves slithered
3:30:07through me I took a deep
3:30:10breath and there was Michael talking and
3:30:13leaning against a rusted silver van in
3:30:16jeans and a blackf jacket that made his
3:30:20baby blue eyes
3:30:21pop so so
3:30:24pretty don't be
3:30:26nervous Wes set it out of the side of
3:30:28his mouth and nudged me with his
3:30:30shoulder before immediately launching
3:30:33into
3:30:34introductions this is Noah Adam and you
3:30:37know
3:30:38Michael hey I said my face burning as
3:30:42they all looked at me I was terrible
3:30:45with name
3:30:47but nicknames would help I committed
3:30:50smirky face Noah Hawaiian shirt Adam and
3:30:55Mr Wright with the perfect butt Michael
3:30:57of course to
3:30:59memory everyone was friendly enough
3:31:02Hawaiian shirts said he remembered me
3:31:04from middle school because we'd had the
3:31:05same Home Room teacher and then he and
3:31:08Noah started discussing how cool Miss
3:31:10brand had been in seventh grade
3:31:12reading it was all very Bland and un
3:31:15interesting so I tuned them out and
3:31:18tried to look everywhere but at
3:31:20Michael tried and failed no matter what
3:31:24I told my brain my eyeballs continually
3:31:27searched him out and took a stroll all
3:31:29over his handsome
3:31:31face Wes was totally on to me and when
3:31:35he made eye contact he shook his head
3:31:38which made me stick out my tongue smirky
3:31:41face tilted his head totally saw the
3:31:44tongue but Wes saved me by saying are we
3:31:48going or what we all loaded into the
3:31:51minivan and just as I was about to grab
3:31:53a seat in the middle row Wes pushed me
3:31:56toward the back and muttered trust
3:31:59me he pushed around me and plopped into
3:32:02the left window spot which left the open
3:32:05seat right between him and
3:32:07Michael I looked at Wes as I sat down
3:32:11and he gave me a go for it eyebrow raise
3:32:15that made my nose get warm as Adam
3:32:18started the van and pulled out of the
3:32:21alley Wes started talking to the guys in
3:32:23front leaning forward to talk over the
3:32:25second row kind of giving me and Michael
3:32:28a tiny bit of
3:32:30privacy I cleared my throat and was
3:32:32hyper aware of how close his leg was to
3:32:34my
3:32:35leg what to
3:32:37say my mind was a complete and total
3:32:40blank sending a solidly flat EKG line as
3:32:44my mouth ceased to
3:32:46function time of death
3:32:505:05 in all the times I'd imagined our
3:32:53magical first moments I'd never once
3:32:56considered that I would be awkwardly
3:32:58staring at my knees totally mute hoping
3:33:01that whatever smelled miloy in the car
3:33:04wasn't somehow me while a terrible song
3:33:07by Florida Georgia Line twanged in the
3:33:09speakers behind our
3:33:11heads Michael was looking down at his
3:33:13phone and I knew I was running out of
3:33:15time
3:33:16time say something clever
3:33:18Liz I opened my mouth and almost said
3:33:21something about the party but I closed
3:33:24it again when I realized that reminding
3:33:26him of the vomit incident and Conjuring
3:33:29the image of hled upon me for him was a
3:33:32terrible idea oh my God say anything you
3:33:37loser then
3:33:40Liz my eyes jumped up to his face but
3:33:44looking at him made my stomach do wild
3:33:46things and I lowered my eyes to his
3:33:48jacket zipper to steady my nerves even
3:33:51though my face was on fire and I was
3:33:53pretty sure there were tiny beads of
3:33:55sweat on the tip of my nose I tried to
3:33:58act Breezy and teasing by
3:34:01saying
3:34:03Michael he
3:34:05smiled can I tell you
3:34:07something oh God what was he going to
3:34:11say what could he possibly say when he'd
3:34:14only been back for mere days I braced
3:34:17myself for his confession that my
3:34:19perfume made him nauseous or that I had
3:34:21something disgusting sticking out of my
3:34:24nose of
3:34:25course his eyes went up to my hair for a
3:34:28tiny second before they landed back on
3:34:31my eyes and he
3:34:33said you really look a lot like your mom
3:34:37now was it possible to feel your own
3:34:41heart
3:34:42stop probably not but there was was a
3:34:46catch in my chest as I pictured my
3:34:48mother's face and had the realization
3:34:50that Michael still remembered her face
3:34:53too he could still picture
3:34:56her I had to Blink fast to keep it
3:34:59together because in the whole of my
3:35:01entire life that was the most important
3:35:03compliment I'd ever
3:35:05received my voice was froggy and pinched
3:35:08as I
3:35:09said you think
3:35:11so I really
3:35:14do he smiled smiled at me but looked a
3:35:17little unsure doubtful in the way people
3:35:20always looked when they wondered if
3:35:22they'd made a mistake by mentioning my
3:35:24mom's
3:35:26existence I'm sorry about the
3:35:31um the thank you
3:35:34Michael I crossed my legs shifting so I
3:35:37was facing him a little
3:35:39more the truth was I liked talking about
3:35:43my mom bringing her up up in casual
3:35:47conversation putting words about her out
3:35:49into the universe felt like keeping a
3:35:52piece of her here with me even though
3:35:54she had been gone so long
3:35:57already she always liked you I mean it
3:36:01was probably because you were the only
3:36:03person who didn't hide under her bird
3:36:05bath and trample her daisies during
3:36:07hide-and seek but it
3:36:10counts his blue eyes sucked me in as he
3:36:13smiled and gave an in incredibly
3:36:16pleasing deep
3:36:17chuckle I'll take
3:36:20it is that what your tattoo is about
3:36:24your mom's
3:36:26daisies my heart for sure stopped then
3:36:30and all I could do was nod in response
3:36:32as happy tears sprung up in the corners
3:36:35of my
3:36:36eyes I turned my head away from him
3:36:39blinking quickly a few
3:36:41times he'd seen my tattoo and without
3:36:44any explanation and he'd gotten it he
3:36:48might not have known that my mother had
3:36:50loved the line and you've got mail about
3:36:52Daisy's being the friendliest
3:36:54flower but the flowers had made him
3:36:56think of
3:36:58her Wes looked over at me and his
3:37:01eyebrows pulled together as he went to
3:37:03speak but I just shook my
3:37:06head for some reason the van began
3:37:08slowing even though we'd only been on
3:37:10the road for a few
3:37:12minutes why are we stopping what Wes
3:37:15called up to Adam this is Laney's
3:37:18house my head whipped to the left and
3:37:21just past Wes's face I could see Lanie
3:37:24through the window exiting a big white
3:37:26colonial style home she skipped down the
3:37:30steps in her dance outfit a sparkly
3:37:32black leotard that would have
3:37:34illuminated my flaws but was coming up
3:37:37empty on
3:37:38hers and I felt queasy as I watched her
3:37:41pull open the van's sliding
3:37:43door so that's why there was an open
3:37:46seat my moment with Michael and the
3:37:49happy memories of my mom disappeared as
3:37:52Laney stepped into the van and pulled
3:37:54the door shut behind her had Michael
3:37:57invited her did he want me to move so
3:38:00she could sit in my spot was she like
3:38:04his date and I was
3:38:07Wes's thank you so much for coming back
3:38:09for me she sat down in the seat in front
3:38:12of Michael and her subtle perfume wafted
3:38:15back to where I was sitting an old
3:38:17factory reminder that she was amazing
3:38:20down to the smallest
3:38:21detail she glanced back at us and said
3:38:24to me oh hey Liz I didn't know you were
3:38:27coming I would have assumed you didn't
3:38:30like
3:38:31sports I forced a smile but it didn't
3:38:34feel like my lips were fully extended as
3:38:37I seeed
3:38:38inside of course she was right but why
3:38:42would she assume that about me because I
3:38:44didn't wear a silly letter letter jacket
3:38:47and I was pretty sure it was no accident
3:38:49that she was pointing it out in front of
3:38:51Michael I tried to sound Breezy for the
3:38:54second time that night when I said yet
3:38:57here I
3:38:58am and damn it she'd made me forget to
3:39:02look and see what Michael's house looked
3:39:04like she faced forward and said to the
3:39:07guys in
3:39:08front well there was no way I was going
3:39:11to be ready by the time Michael left but
3:39:13in my defense he didn't have to put on
3:39:15stage makeup and squeeze into a costume
3:39:18either everyone laughed of course as
3:39:22Laney launched into a cute diet tribe
3:39:25about what it took to get dance
3:39:28ready I had no idea she was coming Wes
3:39:32said surprising me his mouth was so
3:39:35close to my ear that I literally
3:39:38shivered I
3:39:40swear whatever Wes said about the
3:39:42forever spot in that moment I couldn't
3:39:46help but think that he was also helping
3:39:48me out because he was genuinely
3:39:51nice Joss's words echoed in my
3:39:54head everyone loves
3:39:58Wes I was starting to see
3:40:01why I leaned closer to him so he could
3:40:04hear me when I
3:40:05murmured you were right about the whole
3:40:07Thunder stealing thing though I am
3:40:11actually invisible
3:40:13now he gave me a no you're not look but
3:40:17I wasn't even going to try to convince
3:40:19myself otherwise Laney had turned around
3:40:22in her seat and was giving the play
3:40:24byplay directly to Michael and a lightly
3:40:27sick feeling settled in my
3:40:30stomach how was this Fair the girl was
3:40:34wearing heavy makeup a bedazzled catsuit
3:40:37and a ridiculously huge bow smack dab on
3:40:40the top of her head she should have
3:40:42looked like Queen of the
3:40:44clowns but she looked cute and the worst
3:40:48part was that she was unbelievably
3:40:51Charming she somehow managed to bury her
3:40:54rancid soul and totally pull off that
3:40:57she was a genuinely delightful human
3:40:59being it was witchcraft
3:41:01that there was no way to compete with a
3:41:04one-woman Perfection
3:41:06show so I gave up and got out my phone
3:41:09to read I'd started a really good book
3:41:12that morning so I picked up where I'd
3:41:14left off and tried getting lost in the
3:41:16joy of Helen
3:41:18hang Jos texted me a minute later
3:41:22Jos hey did you go to Rhino's
3:41:26party
3:41:28my stomach sank as I
3:41:31typed Wes invited me at the last minute
3:41:34and it was a total nightmare I was going
3:41:37to tell you about it earlier but Helena
3:41:39interrupted Jos WTH I always invite you
3:41:44to my stuff
3:41:46me I thought about it but you said
3:41:48Rhino's parties were immature
3:41:51so I knew you wouldn't want to go
3:41:54Jos I just think it's weird that you
3:41:56wouldn't tell me you were going you're
3:41:58sketch all of a
3:42:00sudden I glanced up from my phone
3:42:03searching for
3:42:04excuses but all I got was the impression
3:42:07that Laney was brainwashing all of the
3:42:09boys into joining her Cult of
3:42:11adorability nothing to save me from the
3:42:14fact that I was being a crappy
3:42:17friend
3:42:18me I was just trying to rescue you from
3:42:21a holy terrible
3:42:23time Jos whatever I got to go to work
3:42:28now I sighed telling myself I'd make it
3:42:32up to her somehow and went back to
3:42:34reading but I'd only read about three
3:42:37paragraphs when Wes said mind if I read
3:42:40over your shoulder I'm
3:42:42bored I gave him side eye
3:42:45you wouldn't like this trust me will you
3:42:49shut up so I can
3:42:50read my mouth wanted to smile but I
3:42:53cleared my throat and
3:42:55said
3:42:57sorry I tried getting back into the book
3:43:00but now I was hyper aware that he was
3:43:02reading every paragraph of the flirty
3:43:05sexy sweet book as
3:43:07well I kept scrolling but the words were
3:43:11different now cartwheeling over each
3:43:14other with new tumbling context as the
3:43:17main characters started having a mildly
3:43:19sexual
3:43:20conversation I turned off my phone when
3:43:23they went into a bedroom
3:43:25together your cheeks are so red he said
3:43:29quietly his deep voice rich with
3:43:32restrained
3:43:33laughter why' you stop
3:43:36reading I coughed out a laugh and faced
3:43:39him his dark eyes mischievous as he gave
3:43:42me a knowing
3:43:43smirk I said
3:43:46it's just too bumpy to read in
3:43:48here ah yes he gave me a slow nod as his
3:43:53lips slit into a full
3:43:56smile it's the bumpiness that made you
3:43:59stop
3:44:00reading I might get car sick and vomit
3:44:02on you if you aren't
3:44:04careful oh Liz Laney leaned through the
3:44:07space between the two seats and said I
3:44:10heard about that about Ash getting sick
3:44:14on you that is so terrible she feels so
3:44:19bad my smile went away as she put a hand
3:44:22over her heart and gave me an empathetic
3:44:25pout was she bringing it up on purpose
3:44:28to make me look
3:44:29bad I Shrugged and said what's a party
3:44:33if you don't get puked on I heard
3:44:35Michael chuckle beside me and felt like
3:44:38I'd won that point Laney jumped right
3:44:41back into her non-stop chatter so I put
3:44:44in my earbuds to let the sounds of
3:44:46wicked faces drown out her
3:44:48nonsense before I hit play I paused to
3:44:52offer Wes an end he took it and we
3:44:55listened in silence until we made the
3:44:58turn into the school parking lot as Adam
3:45:01put the car in park Laney finally said
3:45:03something that made me happy she pulled
3:45:06open the sliding van door and said
3:45:09thanks again for the ride Adam I've got
3:45:11to go find the team and don't forget I'm
3:45:13riding the bus back
3:45:15that meant I would have all of the
3:45:17basketball game to talk to Michael
3:45:19without the distraction of dreading the
3:45:20ride home no one actually watched the
3:45:23game at sports
3:45:25functions
3:45:27right Wes handed me back my earbud but
3:45:30when I tried to catch his eye to
3:45:32silently communicate how thrilled I was
3:45:34at the good news he was too busy texting
3:45:37someone to
3:45:40notice as it turns out high school
3:45:43basketball games are incred L loud I sat
3:45:47between Michael and Wes and the others
3:45:49sat in the row in front of us the pep
3:45:51band was to our left and they seemed to
3:45:54be all hopped up on deafening
3:45:56enthusiasm they blasted out a constant
3:45:58stream of tunes that made it impossible
3:46:01to
3:46:01converse it looked like the hope of
3:46:04making Michael see the real me was going
3:46:06to have to wait until after the
3:46:08game I was kind of okay with that though
3:46:11because I liked the vibe of the gym the
3:46:14place was team ING with energy like
3:46:16every single person in that gym was
3:46:18about to explode with their
3:46:20uncontrollable excitement the team was
3:46:22warming up and it felt like something
3:46:25big was about to happen balls bounced
3:46:28students climbed the steps of the
3:46:30bleachers looking for their friends
3:46:32minutes ticked down on the giant
3:46:34scoreboard and cheerleaders danced in
3:46:37time with the band I looked at Lany and
3:46:39watched for mistakes but of course there
3:46:42were none to be seen she did every
3:46:44choreographed move like she'd created it
3:46:47her smile never wavering as she kicked
3:46:50spun and cheered in perfect Unison with
3:46:53the other
3:46:54girls
3:46:56disappointing I glanced at Michael but
3:46:59thankfully he was talking to the guy
3:47:00next to him Wes nudged me with his
3:47:04shoulder having fun he kind of yelled it
3:47:08into my
3:47:09ear at
3:47:11all I laughed into his ear the band is
3:47:14on their third performance of Uptown
3:47:16Funk so I really feel like it's gearing
3:47:19up to be a special
3:47:21evening that made him smile he leaned in
3:47:25closer but his face remained fixed on
3:47:28the basketball
3:47:29court all right Buck Bal let's make this
3:47:33interesting if that guy right there he
3:47:36said pointing to number 51 on our team
3:47:39outscores number 23 on the other team
3:47:42you win 50 bucks
3:47:45what why no questions do you want a
3:47:49fitty or not uh of course I was $50
3:47:54short on the dress after all but what if
3:47:58he
3:47:58doesn't then you wash my
3:48:01car I pictured his car your car seemed
3:48:05pretty clean earlier what's the catch no
3:48:10catch he gave a tiny shrug crossed his
3:48:13long arms and said
3:48:15I mean I may or may not be off-roading
3:48:18in Springfield tomorrow but I wouldn't
3:48:20call that a
3:48:21catch you're such a
3:48:24cheater I looked at his teasing face as
3:48:27the band started playing Hit Me With
3:48:29Your Best Shot and I said but you're on
3:48:34what's 51's name Matt
3:48:37Kirk I watched number 51 hit a shot from
3:48:40behind the white line and I turned to
3:48:43smile at Wes but he wasn't watching the
3:48:46court he was looking at me smirking
3:48:50actually in a way that made my stomach
3:48:53do a little stutter thing I blinked
3:48:57turning back to the court hoping he
3:48:59didn't notice whatever little blip that
3:49:02was then the buzzer went off and
3:49:05thankfully jolted me back from whatever
3:49:07weird place that moment was all
3:49:11about I had no idea y'all were SE into
3:49:14basket
3:49:16Michael looked a little impressed by my
3:49:17fanhood as we walked past the concession
3:49:20stand and down the hallway following Wes
3:49:22Noah and Adam I owed Wes a huge thanks
3:49:26for the 50 Buck bet because not only had
3:49:29it caused me to get into the basketball
3:49:31game to the point that I forgot about
3:49:33Laney and everything else in the world
3:49:36but apparently it had raised my value in
3:49:38Michael's
3:49:39eyes well um it's the
3:49:42playoffs I knew Wes would smile if he
3:49:45heard me using his words it was halftime
3:49:48and we were about to sneak into
3:49:49Lincoln's practice gym so we could shoot
3:49:52around until the game
3:49:54restarted by we I meant everyone but me
3:49:59I take it you're pretty good friends
3:50:00with Matt
3:50:03who he looked confused even though he
3:50:06was still
3:50:07smiling number 51 you were all over his
3:50:11game duh oh yeah Matt
3:50:15we
3:50:17buds buds really say something cool for
3:50:21once in your life something that
3:50:22elevates you beyond little
3:50:24Liz I cleared my throat and added we
3:50:29dated for a while but ultimately decided
3:50:32that we were better as
3:50:33friends yeah lying definitely makes it
3:50:36better I didn't know what I was doing
3:50:39anymore with all the lying to be honest
3:50:42i' had always considered myself a pretty
3:50:43truthful person
3:50:45but now I'd lied to Jos to Helena and to
3:50:50Michael when was it going to
3:50:52stop Wes was the only one I hadn't lied
3:50:55to lately and that was because I wasn't
3:50:57trying to please him or impress him he
3:51:01knew the mess that I was so there was
3:51:04really no
3:51:05point yeah I get that Michael's shoulder
3:51:09bumped mine in a casual yet I was 99%
3:51:13sure purpose full way I was pretty sure
3:51:17my unnecessary lie had just scored me a
3:51:20point he said I've had girlfriends like
3:51:24that come on Noah was holding open a
3:51:27door and gesturing for us to hurry get
3:51:30in before someone sees
3:51:32us we followed him through the door and
3:51:35into the practice gym Adam found a ball
3:51:37over by the corner drinking fountain
3:51:39while the other guys decided
3:51:41teams you playing buck b Wes gave me a
3:51:45look like I should say yes but I knew my
3:51:49skill level would do nothing to help
3:51:51me I'll watch but thanks I pulled the
3:51:55earbuds out of my front pocket I always
3:51:58had at least three pairs on my person at
3:52:00any given time before clicking on my
3:52:03music I dropped to the floor and sat
3:52:06crisscross applesauce as I popped the
3:52:08earbuds in and watched the boys play and
3:52:12just like that they were all in on their
3:52:15halime game Wes and Noah were one team
3:52:18Michael and Adam were the other Noah
3:52:21talked non-stop and his verbal
3:52:24sparring with Michael and Adam made me
3:52:26laugh because it was brutal and cocky
3:52:30and
3:52:31hilarious Michael made some shots but he
3:52:34was overshadowed by Wes who seemed
3:52:37really really good at
3:52:38basketball this was going to be fun I'd
3:52:42never created a soundtrack for a sporty
3:52:44event and my running playlists didn't
3:52:46count but I always thought there was a
3:52:49specific magic to them I mean the
3:52:51soundtrack to Remember the Titans Stone
3:52:54Cold
3:52:55ridiculous the curator had managed a
3:52:58masterpiece that left the songs forever
3:53:00changed for every person who'd seen the
3:53:02film who could hear 8 no mountain high
3:53:05enough without picturing blue singing in
3:53:08the locker room after that nightmarish
3:53:10practice at training camp and James
3:53:12Taylor's Fire and Rain was completely
3:53:15reincarnated by that movie I couldn't
3:53:18remember what I'd imagined when
3:53:20listening to that song before I'd seen
3:53:22the movie but for the rest of my life I
3:53:25was always going to picture the car
3:53:27accident that left Bertier paralyzed I
3:53:30watched Noah dribble down the court he
3:53:32bounced the ball with the confidence of
3:53:35one who knew the ball wouldn't be stolen
3:53:37from him inspired I scrolled for
3:53:40something loud because the game I was
3:53:42watching was all about noise
3:53:45it was a cacophony of voices grunts
3:53:48sneaker squeaks and
3:53:50bounces I cranked Sabotage by the Beasty
3:53:53Boys it wasn't original but it was
3:53:56Perfection I kept raising the volume as
3:53:59ad rock set the perfect backdrop for
3:54:01this sweaty matchup Noah smirked as he
3:54:04juked around Adam and right after the
3:54:06first set of record scratches he stepped
3:54:09back and let go of a shot that arked
3:54:11high into the air before swishing into
3:54:14the back
3:54:15nothing but net so so so so listen up
3:54:19cuz you can't say
3:54:21nothing Michael passed the ball to Adam
3:54:24who was fast and sprinted down to the
3:54:26corner but Wes was already there with
3:54:28his hands up Adam bounced it over to
3:54:31Michael who dribbled underneath the
3:54:32basket and just put it in like it was
3:54:36easy listen all y'all it's a
3:54:39sabotage Adam passed the ball right at
3:54:42the song's middle scream and I was
3:54:44buzzing alive in the way that I only
3:54:47felt when I got the matchup exactly
3:54:50right if life was a movie this song was
3:54:53meant for This Moment music made
3:54:56everything
3:54:57better when Noah popped a three-pointer
3:54:59to win the game I totally sat up and
3:55:02yelled only I was cheering my own little
3:55:05Victory not
3:55:06theirs everyone instantly relaxed once
3:55:09the game was over talking and casually
3:55:12taking shots at the basket
3:55:14I scrolled to Joe Cocker's feeling all
3:55:17right as I watched the sportsmanship in
3:55:19front of me Noah was arguing loudly with
3:55:22Adam as they both laughed and Wes was
3:55:26doing some terrible dance move beside
3:55:28them also
3:55:30laughing there was something sweet in
3:55:32the way they moved from foes to friends
3:55:35from athletic Rivals to simple teenage
3:55:38boys the minute the metaphorical whistle
3:55:41blew the game
3:55:42over what you smileing it I jumped and
3:55:46my hand flew up to my heart before
3:55:48yanking the buds from my ears I turned
3:55:51my head at an awkward angle to see
3:55:53Michaels standing beside me and looking
3:55:55down at my face you scared me
3:56:00sorry he gave me a little smile and my
3:56:03stomach flipped all the way upside down
3:56:06his blonde hair was sweaty on the outer
3:56:09fringes but it was like the sweat worked
3:56:12as a gel and held all the Parts in
3:56:15place his eyes were warm as he said you
3:56:19looked so happy just sitting there with
3:56:22your earbuds in I shouldn't have
3:56:25Disturbed you oh that's okay I tucked my
3:56:29hair behind my ears and
3:56:31said I um I just
3:56:34love Lord knows I didn't love sports so
3:56:38I waved my hands gesturing around the
3:56:40gym hoping that would suffice and save
3:56:43me from another
3:56:45FIB want to shoot
3:56:47around he was smiling down at me and I
3:56:50noticed that he really did have great
3:56:53hair he actually could be a hair hero if
3:56:57that were a real
3:56:58thing I'm terribly
3:57:01uncoordinated I said and I caught a
3:57:04glimpse of Wes in my peripheral vision I
3:57:07made the mistake of turning my head in
3:57:09his Direction and he gave me a double
3:57:11thumbs up with a cheesy smile and
3:57:14eyebrow
3:57:15wagle oh for the
3:57:17love Michael dribbled and said you can't
3:57:21be that bad I returned my attention to
3:57:24him and said I so can come on he stopped
3:57:30dribbling and held out a hand to pull me
3:57:33up I'll help you
3:57:36shout I grabbed his hand and warmth shot
3:57:40through my every molecule as he pulled
3:57:42me to my feet
3:57:44I followed him as he dribbled toward the
3:57:46open hoop and as soon as we got close he
3:57:49let a shot fly and it went in I got the
3:57:52rebound and he said let's see your
3:57:56shot it hit me at that second that we
3:57:59could be about to have a movie moment I
3:58:02gave him a smile and
3:58:04said here goes
3:58:06nothing of its own accord Paradise by
3:58:10bosy started in my
3:58:12head this feel like Friday nights
3:58:16this make me feel
3:58:18alive I released and watched my hardcore
3:58:21airball fail
3:58:24majorly as in the ball flew many many
3:58:28feet short and to the side of the basket
3:58:32when I started to laugh Michael just
3:58:34smiled at me and the look on his face
3:58:37was so Charming it made me want to write
3:58:40a
3:58:41poem instead I said are you biting the
3:58:45inside of your cheek so you don't laugh
3:58:47he narrowed his
3:58:49eyes you can see that I see all young
3:58:54Michael he gave me an adorable playful
3:58:57look and said it's actually Michael
3:59:01Young oh yes I said that's
3:59:05right well he retrieved the ball and
3:59:09bounced it through his legs giving me a
3:59:12half smile that made me a bit
3:59:13lightheaded
3:59:15if you can see all you can probably see
3:59:19that Wesley kind of has a thing for
3:59:22you the song stopped with a record
3:59:26scratch what no I stalled even though I
3:59:32knew this was the angle we were playing
3:59:34I pictured Wes on the day when he
3:59:36dragged a rusted old truck bumper into
3:59:38the spot just so I couldn't park there
3:59:42if Michael only knew the half of of
3:59:44it I'm telling you Liz he passed me the
3:59:48ball and I actually caught
3:59:51it the boy told
3:59:58me suddenly the LIE wasn't as easy to
4:00:00manage as I thought it would be Wes had
4:00:03already talked to him what was I
4:00:06supposed to say again I bounced the ball
4:00:10focusing on not letting it get out of
4:00:12control oh oh um I like Wes but only as
4:00:20a
4:00:21friend you should
4:00:23reconsider he's a really good
4:00:26guy I smiled at him trying not to beam
4:00:30like a Lovick fool as he stood there
4:00:32looking like the poster boy for
4:00:34everything I'd ever
4:00:37wanted Wes is not a really good guy
4:00:42Michael come on
4:00:45his I stopped
4:00:47dribbling Wes is fun and unpredictable
4:00:51and the life of the party he's got good
4:00:55qualities but he is not
4:00:57good but as I said it I didn't quite
4:01:01feel it
4:01:03anymore that was how I'd always thought
4:01:05of him but it was becoming clear to me
4:01:08that either he'd changed or I'd been
4:01:12wrong all along
4:01:14Michael gave a small nod as if
4:01:16recognizing my
4:01:18point
4:01:20still I raised the ball to shoot but
4:01:23Michael came behind me and moved my
4:01:25hands so I was holding the ball a
4:01:27different way it felt like his
4:01:30fingertips burned their every Groove
4:01:32into my skin and I had a hard time
4:01:36remembering how to even use my
4:01:38appendages his tanned hands were spread
4:01:41around my pale fingers and chipped
4:01:44turquoise polish and in spite of that
4:01:47somehow romantic image I still managed
4:01:51to release the ball and actually send it
4:01:54through the
4:01:55hoop did you teach her that young I
4:01:58turned away from the basket and there
4:02:01was Wes walking up beside Michael
4:02:04because she damn sure didn't know how to
4:02:06do that
4:02:07before I picked up the
4:02:09ball how would you know I know all bucks
4:02:13bound
4:02:15I rolled my eyes and dribbled in the
4:02:17other
4:02:18direction I may have given some poers
4:02:21but that shot was all little
4:02:23Liz I heard Michael say I
4:02:28cringed and by the way about my
4:02:31hair I stopped dribbling and glanced
4:02:34over my shoulder Wes's eyebrows were
4:02:37quirked like he was both confused and
4:02:39interested to hear what was about to
4:02:42follow Michael touched the front of his
4:02:44hair and said I use aite Stylin Pomade
4:02:48on the front to get it to hold but not
4:02:51look rigid and then I just put a little
4:02:53gel on the
4:02:55sides I see the corners of Wes's mouth
4:03:00looked like they wanted to smile but I
4:03:02could tell he wasn't sure if Michael was
4:03:04seriously talking about his hair or
4:03:07being a
4:03:08smartass your hair would probably do the
4:03:10same thing honestly if you grew it out
4:03:13and got a good
4:03:14cut I almost laughed when I saw the
4:03:17change on Wes's face as he realized that
4:03:20Michael was dead
4:03:22serious you really think so Wes said for
4:03:27sure Michael gave Wes a pat on the
4:03:30shoulder flashed an adorable grin and
4:03:33said you can be your own hair
4:03:37hero
4:03:38uhoh um Michael I had to step in and
4:03:42shut it down
4:03:44yeah
4:03:46shoot I had to say
4:03:48something um have you given any more
4:03:52thought to prom if you're going to go
4:03:55with someone maybe a friend or
4:03:59whatever oh for the love of Nora afron
4:04:02that seemed way too forward I cleared my
4:04:05throat and
4:04:07added what about you Wes are you going
4:04:12it just seems like a lot of people are
4:04:13skipping this year I heard Michael's
4:04:16eyes were on me like he'd considered me
4:04:19for the position and I felt
4:04:22electric he
4:04:23said I'm still and that same second I
4:04:28heard Noah yell heads
4:04:31up which was a half second before a
4:04:34hurdling basketball slammed into my face
4:04:37and knocked me flat on my
4:04:40ass I am so sorry
4:04:44I tried to look at Noah but couldn't see
4:04:47him around the waded shirt over my nose
4:04:50and because of the way my head was
4:04:52tilted all the way back the only things
4:04:55I could see were shirt and
4:04:57ceiling stop
4:05:00apologizing it's
4:05:01fine it wasn't fine I mean it was in
4:05:06that I wasn't mad at Noah apparently
4:05:09he'd been goofing around and had tried
4:05:11to violently chest pass the ball to Adam
4:05:14who hadn't known and had moved out of
4:05:16the way at the most inopportune
4:05:19time things had been going so well with
4:05:21Michael just before that ball had
4:05:23pounded into my nose one minute we'd
4:05:26been having a potential movie moment and
4:05:29the next there was blood gushing from my
4:05:32face and it couldn't have just been a
4:05:34tiny bloody nose nope not for me not in
4:05:39front of Michael
4:05:41Young the moment the ball hit
4:05:44it was like a faucet had been turned on
4:05:47Wes pulled off his shirt shoved it
4:05:49against my nose and helped me sit up
4:05:52while Michael squatted beside me asking
4:05:55if I was okay with concerned
4:05:57eyes my new white shirt was covered in
4:06:01blood and my jeans were pretty
4:06:03splattered
4:06:04too I was glad I didn't have a mirror I
4:06:07was sure I'd die of embarrassment if I
4:06:10could see myself no one in the world had
4:06:13ever looked attractive with blood
4:06:14pouring from an orifice no one and as I
4:06:19sat there bleeding I couldn't help but
4:06:21wonder if the universe was sending me a
4:06:23message I mean I was more optimistic
4:06:26than most and I wholeheartedly believed
4:06:29in Destiny but I'd be lying if I said
4:06:32red flags weren't poised to raise
4:06:34because both the vomit and the blood had
4:06:37happened right when I'd been having
4:06:39moments with Michael both times it had
4:06:42felt like we were connecting and then
4:06:45boom bodily
4:06:47fluids still okay bux
4:06:50famam I couldn't see Wes's face but his
4:06:54deep voice made me
4:06:56relax probably because I knew him better
4:06:59than the rest of them he'd dropped to
4:07:01the ground beside me after shoving his
4:07:03shirt against my face and the smell of
4:07:06him combined with his unexpected
4:07:09nurturing side kept me calm Noah you
4:07:13broke the girl's face if you would have
4:07:16actually caught the pass you bum poor
4:07:19Liz wouldn't be on the transplant
4:07:22list I was starting to sightlessly
4:07:25recognize their voices because they
4:07:27never stopped
4:07:29jawing Adam said how can I catch
4:07:32something I didn't know was coming how
4:07:34can you not Noah said it around a snort
4:07:37it's called
4:07:39instinct is there such a thing as a nose
4:07:42transplant
4:07:44that sounded like Adam again just
4:07:48curious listen to you with the good
4:07:51questions Michael sounded like he was
4:07:54laughing and bouncing the basketball
4:07:56because that's certainly relevant to
4:07:58this
4:07:59situation not going to lie it was kind
4:08:02of alarming how Michael was so loose and
4:08:05relaxed while I was practically Bleeding
4:08:08Out Adam said I can't help it if I'm a
4:08:11curious boy you're such a
4:08:14nerd Noah sounded like he was kind of
4:08:16laughing
4:08:17too I still need an
4:08:20answer I think yes my voice sounded
4:08:24weird and muffled behind the
4:08:26shirt there was a lady who got her whole
4:08:29face ripped off by a monkey and she had
4:08:31a face
4:08:32transplant for real Adam sounded
4:08:36fascinated her whole
4:08:39face I'm pretty
4:08:41sure the small talk was nice distraction
4:08:44from my anxiety over potential nasal
4:08:46damage I mean didn't people who got
4:08:49their noses broken end up with massive
4:08:52bumps on them was my nose
4:08:55broken I tried squinching it up and it
4:08:58freaking
4:09:00killed
4:09:01Wes's face popped into my line of
4:09:04sight something to look at besides the
4:09:07gym
4:09:08ceiling you
4:09:10okay he looked really concerned
4:09:14and for some reason I felt compelled to
4:09:17reassure him I blindly reached for his
4:09:20hand and gave it a
4:09:22squeeze I think it's fine as soon as the
4:09:25bleeding stops we'll probably be good
4:09:28she's so much tougher than you Bennett
4:09:30Adam said no
4:09:33Wes adjusted one side of the shirt
4:09:36so I could see a little better and I
4:09:39felt his big warm hand squeeze around
4:09:41mine
4:09:43I'd be
4:09:44balling Michael added
4:09:48same oh my God what happened an adult
4:09:52appeared in my line of sight a blonde
4:09:54woman with a severe Bob looking
4:09:57worriedly down into my face are you okay
4:10:00sweetie I repeated what id said to Wes
4:10:04and she suggested I try removing the
4:10:06shirt she said in a knowing voice I bet
4:10:10most of the bleeding is
4:10:11done as she took a second to lecture the
4:10:14boys on how they shouldn't be in the
4:10:16practice gym I stealed myself for moving
4:10:19the shirt even though I knew it was
4:10:21really immature part of me didn't want
4:10:24to because surely there were blood
4:10:27smears on my face and ew right I didn't
4:10:32want Michael or anyone to see me like
4:10:35that but I took a breath and lowered
4:10:38Wes's shirt glancing up at
4:10:41everyone and the Expressions on the boy
4:10:44faces were not good Michael coughed a
4:10:48little and said well it doesn't seem to
4:10:53be bleding
4:10:55anymore I looked at Wes he was
4:10:58perpetually tactless and I knew he'd be
4:11:01honest with
4:11:02me what's
4:11:04wrong I stared at him waiting he was
4:11:08shirtless having donated his shirt to my
4:11:10bloody nose and I got momentarily
4:11:12distracted did by the sight of his chest
4:11:15I mean I wasn't usually one to augle
4:11:18anyone's
4:11:19physique but my neighbor was wicked to
4:11:23find don't take this the wrong way Adam
4:11:27said answering before Wes and yanking me
4:11:29out of my pectoral
4:11:32revry but your nose looks kind of like
4:11:36Mrs Potato Heads
4:11:38nose holy that's it Noah nodded
4:11:42emphatically
4:11:44not the rest but for sure the
4:11:46nose Michael didn't even hide his laugh
4:11:50but it was at least a warm friendly
4:11:53laugh it does resemble a potato nose and
4:11:57it's bleeding
4:11:59again he was right I felt a warm trickle
4:12:02on my upper lip oh my God I recovered my
4:12:07nose no it doesn't don't listen to them
4:12:11Wes lifted my chin in his thumb and
4:12:14forefinger and his eyes dropped down to
4:12:16my covered
4:12:17nose your nose is just a tiny bit
4:12:20swollen Noah muttered tiny bit at the
4:12:25same time the lady said you should
4:12:28probably go to the ER dear just to make
4:12:30sure it isn't
4:12:31broken the ER really what about my Lany
4:12:36free ride home with
4:12:38Michael I
4:12:39said um but Wes interrupted with
4:12:43nope no objections I'm taking you to the
4:12:46ER and you can call your parents on the
4:12:48way cool Adam said dude you didn't drive
4:12:53and quit being so bossy to the
4:12:56misss my nose was throbbing but I
4:12:59couldn't stop the smile Wes's friends
4:13:02were
4:13:03ridiculous I don't need you to take me
4:13:06to the hospital I'll call by dad but
4:13:09Helena said she and your dad would be at
4:13:11the movies Wes looked looked worried
4:13:14which made me feel a little warm and
4:13:16fuzzy which meant I probably had a
4:13:19concussion he looked up something on his
4:13:21phone and said the hospital is literally
4:13:24right down the
4:13:26street oh yeah he was right about my dad
4:13:30and Helena and probably about the
4:13:32hospital too I'm sure they can meet us
4:13:35there if you call them Wes gave me his
4:13:38hand to help me
4:13:40up think you can stand
4:13:43of course I let him pull me to my feet
4:13:47you better sh up man Adam made a face
4:13:51you look like a perv in just jeans like
4:13:54an underage
4:13:56stripper I pressed the shirt tighter
4:13:58against my face as Wes grabbed his
4:14:01jacket from the floor and put it on over
4:14:03his bare chest my cheeks were on fire I
4:14:08felt like I was watching something dirty
4:14:10and I shakily managed to say
4:14:13let's go you
4:14:15pervert but as we exited the gym it
4:14:18occurred to me that Wes had donated his
4:14:20clothes to me twice now either I was on
4:14:23a hidden camera show and Wes was
4:14:25pranking me or he was seriously the
4:14:29nicest
4:14:31guy hair hero oh my God I don't even
4:14:35have words Wes's face was serious as he
4:14:39walked with me down the steps on the
4:14:41side of the school but there was that
4:14:43mischievous twinkle in his eye the one
4:14:46that never went
4:14:47away you think you're pretty funny don't
4:14:50you I mean yeah I think I'm a fairly
4:14:53amusing person I grabbed the metal
4:14:56railing and wondered how I'd ended up
4:14:58alone with Wes at the end of this night
4:15:01instead of making magic with
4:15:03Michael I was a little surprised that I
4:15:05didn't feel more
4:15:06disappointed but perhaps that was just
4:15:08my body's defense mechanism to keep me
4:15:11from dying of embarrassment What if
4:15:13Michael tells everyone that he's my hair
4:15:15hero it hurt to smile but I did it
4:15:19anyway Wes was acting like my nose
4:15:22hadn't just exploded in front of my
4:15:23forever crush and I loved him for it he
4:15:28was picking up right where our convo
4:15:30would have headed if not for my
4:15:32accident he
4:15:34wed because I could do so much better he
4:15:38started naming people as we walked down
4:15:40the dark sidewalk like Tod Simon that
4:15:44guy's got some good hair and Barton
4:15:46Brown you could get lost in Barton's
4:15:49shiny Mane those guys are worthy of hair
4:15:52heroism those guys are worthy of
4:15:54follicle
4:15:56adoration but Michael Young
4:16:00police you could never get Barton Brown
4:16:03be
4:16:04realistic I so could get Barton he'd
4:16:07probably lose it if I asked him to be my
4:16:09hair hero you would never ask him Wes
4:16:12and you know it he's in another hair
4:16:15League why are you hurting me like
4:16:18this
4:16:20sorry I tried not to stare as we walked
4:16:23under a street light but I realized as I
4:16:26looked at him that his face was always
4:16:30fun he almost never looked pissed or
4:16:33like an and I couldn't imagine
4:16:35him being legitimately
4:16:38angry I guess I'm
4:16:40projecting he glanced over at me and
4:16:43gave me a closed mouth pity
4:16:46frown how is the Honker
4:16:48feeling it doesn't really hurt now
4:16:51except when I touch it so don't touch it
4:16:56really he Shrugged and put his hands in
4:16:59his jacket pockets seems
4:17:02logical I was getting sick of holding
4:17:05that shirt over my nose I pulled out my
4:17:07phone and flipped the camera to make a
4:17:10mirror then stopped walking and slowly
4:17:13removed the shirt from my
4:17:15face oh my God I am Mrs Potato Head the
4:17:21bridge of my nose was so swollen that
4:17:24the entire thing looked wide it was like
4:17:27my nose Blended in with the rest of my
4:17:30face the good news when I tilted my head
4:17:33back it didn't look like any more blood
4:17:36was waiting to
4:17:37fall this whole thing was just
4:17:39gross I've broken my nose twice and
4:17:42it'll heal fast he put his finger on my
4:17:46phone screen and unflipped the camera so
4:17:48I could no longer see
4:17:50myself you might look like a child's toy
4:17:52for a day but after that you'll barely
4:17:55be able to tell I glanced at his profile
4:17:58in the dark and didn't see any bumps or
4:18:02knots on his
4:18:03nose but I said defied
4:18:07barely he ignored me and said call your
4:18:11dad oh yeah
4:18:13I exited the camera and went into the
4:18:15actual
4:18:16phone
4:18:18thanks I called my father as Wes Stood
4:18:21Beside Me on the sidewalk scrolling on
4:18:23his phone and after I told my dad what
4:18:26had happened and then retold Helena they
4:18:29said they were headed toward the
4:18:30hospital and they'd find us when they
4:18:32got there by the way thanks a lot I put
4:18:37my phone into my pocket and looped the
4:18:39disgusting shirt over the strap of my
4:18:41bag and we started walking
4:18:43again with every step I tried to figure
4:18:46out what was up with Wes's sudden onset
4:18:49niceness the guy was apparently all in
4:18:52on getting that parking
4:18:53spot you didn't have to escort
4:18:56me he nudged my shoulder with his and
4:19:00teased my luck you'd bleed to death and
4:19:04then my guilt wouldn't allow me to enjoy
4:19:06the forever
4:19:08spot wait you'd still take it even after
4:19:11having a hand in my my untimely
4:19:14demise I attempted to give him a playful
4:19:17punch but he caught my fist in his huge
4:19:20hand he grinned at the little noise I
4:19:22made and let
4:19:24go well it's right there Buck bam how
4:19:28could I
4:19:29not we stopped at a red light when we
4:19:32reached the corner and he turned and
4:19:34looked at
4:19:35me we were quiet for a moment our Smiles
4:19:39slowly
4:19:40simmering and then he asked in his deep
4:19:43and grally
4:19:45voice so were you making any Headway
4:19:49with young before you got
4:19:51bashed I don't know why but I was
4:19:55hesitant to tell him for a
4:19:57second we'd been having fun and I didn't
4:20:00want to get serious but then I reminded
4:20:03myself that it was my let's get Michael
4:20:05teammate Wes why wouldn't I tell
4:20:08him you know I think I was he was being
4:20:12being a little flirty before you walked
4:20:14over to the small court and he
4:20:17physically moved my arm to help me shoot
4:20:20better Sweet Lord he touched you his
4:20:24eyes widened like this was a really big
4:20:27deal he did I proudly raised my chin
4:20:32like how did he do it was it coachy and
4:20:36clinical
4:20:37or it was like this I reached over and
4:20:41moved his elbow from their position at
4:20:44his sides to a few inches higher in the
4:20:46air only maybe lighter and more finger
4:20:51Tippy holy Liz he gave his head a
4:20:55little shake and his mouth was wide
4:20:58open that's
4:21:00huge my lips slid all the way up into
4:21:03the beaming EST geek smile ever even
4:21:06though it sent a jolt of pain through my
4:21:09nose it
4:21:10is oh my God no it
4:21:13isn't Wes put his hands in his pockets
4:21:17and gestured for me to walk as the light
4:21:19had turned
4:21:21green that was
4:21:23sarcasm I thought you knew that until
4:21:25you said finger
4:21:27Tippy oh I cleared my throat and said
4:21:32well it felt like
4:21:35something like something finger Topp be
4:21:39as he mocked my words and my Michael
4:21:41obsession
4:21:43it hit me that everything was all
4:21:46wrong Wes was the one walking me to the
4:21:49hospital and it was Wes's shirt that had
4:21:52staunched the flow of blood from my
4:21:54face wasn't it supposed to be
4:21:57Michael he glanced over again his
4:22:01expression unreadable as we walked up to
4:22:03the entrance of the
4:22:04ER just before the doors opened he
4:22:08said you don't seriously think his
4:22:10finger Tipp was a thing do you
4:22:14how should I
4:22:15know I shivered in the cold and wondered
4:22:18why Wes all of a sudden seemed a little
4:22:21cynical it could have
4:22:23been he let out a noise that was a cross
4:22:26between an exhalation and a
4:22:29ground how are you so bad at reading
4:22:33signals what Liz my dad stepped out
4:22:37through the hospital doors and rushed at
4:22:39me his face harsh with worry we were
4:22:42literally at the theater across the
4:22:43street how's the
4:22:45nose we went through the doors and
4:22:47Helena waiting beside the check-in desk
4:22:50glanced at Wes and gave me a funny smile
4:22:54which immediately stressed me out on top
4:22:56of everything the last thing I wanted
4:22:59was my dad to be looped into the false
4:23:01Narrative of me and Wes being a thing
4:23:03Wes was nice to them and did the small
4:23:06talk thing for a few but he didn't
4:23:08really even look at me the rest of the
4:23:10time when he left he said
4:23:13later books Ma and just kind of threw
4:23:16his arm up in a wave before
4:23:19disappearing I wasn't sure what to think
4:23:22he couldn't be mad at me could
4:23:26he why the
4:23:28weirdness was it all in my
4:23:31head I texted Jos about my nose leaving
4:23:34out any Michael references of course
4:23:37while we waited for the doctor because I
4:23:39knew she'd appreciate the ridiculous
4:23:41story her response Jos Wes Bennett took
4:23:46you to the hospital me yeah but he was
4:23:50my ride so it was no big
4:23:52deal it felt good to text her about my
4:23:55nose probably because it was safe
4:23:57territory it had nothing to do with
4:23:59senior year her Obsession and nothing to
4:24:03do with my Michael
4:24:04scheme
4:24:06chos so OMG me thinks Mr Bennett has a
4:24:11crush
4:24:14so much for
4:24:15safe I knew it was weird but as I sat
4:24:19there on the paper covered exam table I
4:24:22missed my best friend pre senior year I
4:24:26missed being silly and obnoxious and
4:24:29100% myself without having to dodge
4:24:31unwelcome emotional
4:24:34conversations me shut up I have to go
4:24:39Jos will Monday work for dress shopping
4:24:42since there's no school see I missed
4:24:45being able to text more than one
4:24:47sentence before stress and conflict came
4:24:49into our
4:24:50conversations I felt like the total
4:24:53worst but it didn't stop me from
4:24:56texting
4:24:57me I think I have to work seriously
4:25:01don't be mad Jos shut up I have to go
4:25:06loser H I really needed to do the
4:25:10shopping thing before her feelings got
4:25:11hurt
4:25:13Jos was a strong person with a lot of
4:25:15opinions but underneath her
4:25:17stubbornness she was sweet and extremely
4:25:22sentimental which was why we usually got
4:25:24along so well we both
4:25:28were the doctor finally came in and
4:25:31after poking and prodding my tender beak
4:25:34she determined it wasn't broken she said
4:25:37it would look normal in a day or two so
4:25:39I only had to Potato Head it for a
4:25:41couple days
4:25:43by the time we got home it was 11: and I
4:25:46was
4:25:47exhausted I showered and crawled under
4:25:49my covers and was almost asleep when my
4:25:52phone buzzed I rolled over and looked at
4:25:55the screen it was a text from a number I
4:25:58didn't know
4:26:00unknown hey Liz it's Michael just wanted
4:26:04to check on you oh my God I fumbled for
4:26:07my glasses and turned on my lamp oh my
4:26:11God I stared at the phone Michael Young
4:26:15was texting to see if I was
4:26:17okay holy
4:26:19I took a shaky breath and tried to
4:26:22think of a response that didn't make me
4:26:24sound like a
4:26:25dweeb
4:26:27me well my Mrs Potato Head nose isn't
4:26:31broken so it's all good smiley face him
4:26:36haha glad to hear it Wes told me you
4:26:40refused all pain meds at the hospital
4:26:42because you're a badass so I figured
4:26:44that was the
4:26:45case note to self thank Wes for that one
4:26:50I smiled and rolled over onto my
4:26:52stomach it was like I could hear his
4:26:55Rich draing voice speaking his text
4:26:59alloud it made me feel like rolling on
4:27:01the bed and kicking my feet like when
4:27:03Julia Roberts freaked over $3,000 and
4:27:06pretty
4:27:07woman me he's right about my badasserie
4:27:11by the way
4:27:12him um I seem to remember a girl who
4:27:15cried when she got wet I rolled my eyes
4:27:19and wished he could forget that little
4:27:22girl
4:27:23me that girl was left behind a long time
4:27:28ago trust me when I tell you that you
4:27:30don't want to mess with the new Liz
4:27:33winky
4:27:34face him is that
4:27:38so oh God was he flirting was Michael
4:27:42Young actually flirting with me I was
4:27:45beaming like the nerd I'd always been as
4:27:48I typed that is most definitely so
4:27:53him well I guess I might just have to
4:27:56get to know this new
4:27:58Liz I died I don't know how I managed to
4:28:02text from beyond the grave but I was
4:28:05cool
4:28:07me I guess you might have to if you
4:28:10think you've got the Coconuts for it
4:28:13him what oh jeez what was he weding the
4:28:19Coconuts I was such an awkward
4:28:22texter
4:28:24me I meant that you might have to if you
4:28:27think you're up for it
4:28:30him got
4:28:32it I didn't want to ruin the chance to
4:28:34have a text conversation with Michael
4:28:37but once again I was drawing a total
4:28:39blank on what to talk about school
4:28:43basketball
4:28:47nose
4:28:48me so what are you doing right now him
4:28:54texting you well that wasn't much of a
4:28:57help me sounds
4:29:01exciting
4:29:03him what
4:29:05does was this for real was I really this
4:29:09awful at textual chitter chatter
4:29:12me nothing on a random side note
4:29:17I'm starving send food
4:29:20SOS him I have to go get my pizza out of
4:29:24the oven because the smoke alarm is
4:29:26about to go off and wake my parents but
4:29:28put me in your contacts I'll text you
4:29:32sometime I was going to pass out me you
4:29:37got it him nightless
4:29:42I slowly sat down the phone on my
4:29:45nightstand um I was pretty sure I was
4:29:49excited but what did it mean was I back
4:29:52in the game I wasn't sure but he' cared
4:29:56enough to get my number I was guessing
4:29:59from Wes and to personally text and see
4:30:02how I was
4:30:03feeling so even though it had been
4:30:06awkward it was still a good sign
4:30:10right the Love Theme I had written when
4:30:12I was seven suddenly came back to me
4:30:15full
4:30:16blast Liz and Mike love and like
4:30:19together forever in all kinds of
4:30:22weather after I came down from my
4:30:25emotional roller coastering I got tired
4:30:28again and my nose started
4:30:30throbbing and I started
4:30:32worrying because I had no idea what had
4:30:35happened with Wes at the
4:30:37hospital one minute we'd been walking
4:30:39there doing our usual shtick
4:30:42and the next it had seemed like he was
4:30:45mad and I hated the thought of him being
4:30:48mad at me especially after he'd been so
4:30:50nice since the moment he'd picked me up
4:30:53that
4:30:53night I grabbed my phone from the
4:30:55nightstand and dialed his number
4:30:58unaccountably nervous as I heard it ring
4:31:02I thought it was going to voicemail when
4:31:03he picked up on the fifth
4:31:05ring hey
4:31:08liilu he sounded tired or like he had
4:31:12used his voice in a while it had that
4:31:14grally thing going
4:31:16on what's
4:31:18up I pulled my covers up under my
4:31:21armpits and ran my finger over the
4:31:23stitching on my
4:31:25comforter did I do something to piss you
4:31:28off at the
4:31:30hospital what I heard him clear his
4:31:34throat before he said
4:31:36no because you
4:31:38seemed
4:31:40um turst
4:31:43when you
4:31:44left I sounded like a nervous middle
4:31:47schooler and I rolled over onto my
4:31:50side I'm just sorry if I said something
4:31:53to upset
4:31:55you
4:31:57wow I could hear the smile in his
4:32:00voice I had no idea you cared so much
4:32:03about making me
4:32:04happy okay stop
4:32:07that I laughed which hurt my nose and I
4:32:11said
4:32:12I just wanted to make sure we're
4:32:15cool we're cool
4:32:17lip his voice was deep as he
4:32:20said I
4:32:22promise I rolled over onto my other side
4:32:25trying to get
4:32:26comfortable did you give Michael my
4:32:29number by the
4:32:30way yeah I did he wanted to check on you
4:32:35and he did I was smiling again and
4:32:38squealing a little he texted me to see
4:32:41how I was doing
4:32:43and how's the
4:32:45Honker it's okay I rolled onto my back
4:32:49and looked up at my ceiling
4:32:51fan sore but I'll live I still look like
4:32:55a freak but the doctor said the swelling
4:32:57will go down
4:32:59soon that's good Wes cleared his throat
4:33:03and
4:33:04said if I tell you something you have to
4:33:08promise not to ask me more than three
4:33:10questions oh oh God what could he
4:33:13possibly want to say that I wasn't
4:33:15allowed to give him the third degree
4:33:17about what are you talking
4:33:20about he sighed and I could hear a TV in
4:33:23the
4:33:25background just promise Buck bam and I
4:33:28swear you'll fall asleep
4:33:30smiling I didn't know why but something
4:33:34about Wes saying those words made my
4:33:36stomach
4:33:37dip I
4:33:40swallowed okay I
4:33:44okay so when you were playing basketball
4:33:47earlier Michael mentioned your look what
4:33:51did he say I kind of shouted it as I sat
4:33:54straight up in bed what did he say I
4:33:57don't remember his exact words come on
4:33:59Wes you've got one job and it's but he
4:34:02essentially said that he could see why
4:34:04you're so
4:34:06popular oh my God I glanced at Fitz who
4:34:10was curled up in the corner on top of a
4:34:12crumpled Barnes & Noble shopping bag and
4:34:15I hoped it wasn't all about my
4:34:18look what did he say exactly I already
4:34:23told you that I don't remember his exact
4:34:24words
4:34:25goofball but the general sentiment was
4:34:28that he gets it you're no longer little
4:34:32Liz
4:34:34oh I flopped back down onto my back
4:34:38conflicted a tiny part of me was
4:34:41uncomfortable with that like before I
4:34:44straightened my hair and put on a cookie
4:34:47cutter outfit he couldn't understand how
4:34:50Wes could be interested in me when I
4:34:53looked the way I liked looking it was
4:34:56inconceivable to him that Wes could find
4:34:58me
4:34:59attractive that kind of
4:35:02stung I pictured Michael and told myself
4:35:05not to get hung up on it the bottom line
4:35:08was that he had noticed
4:35:10me did he say it cute like oh dude I
4:35:14totally get it now or was it more a
4:35:18matter of fact we were playing
4:35:21basketball he was panting and
4:35:23grunting you're terrible at this no
4:35:27you're just a
4:35:28weirdo why didn't you tell me about this
4:35:31earlier I glanced toward my window where
4:35:34all I could see in the darkness was the
4:35:36side of his
4:35:37house it was a little surreal that I was
4:35:40talking to Wes like he was a friend when
4:35:43he'd always been my neighborhood
4:35:45Nemesis there was plenty of time when
4:35:47you were walking with me to the
4:35:50hospital I was distracted by your Potato
4:35:52Head face and the concern that you were
4:35:54going to pass out from lack of
4:35:56blood he cleared his
4:35:59throat as soon as the image of your
4:36:01ginor nose left my mind I remembered to
4:36:04tell
4:36:05you I tried to picture him on the other
4:36:08end of the phone was he still fully
4:36:10dressed or was he wearing adorable
4:36:13pajamas and snuggling with his
4:36:16dog where's your
4:36:18room
4:36:20what I sat up in bed and crossed my legs
4:36:24total random curiosity your house is
4:36:27outside my window and I just realized
4:36:29that I've never been upstairs so I have
4:36:32no idea what side your room is
4:36:34on put the binoculars away because my
4:36:38room faces the back you've got no shot
4:36:41of a s
4:36:42show yeah because that was what I
4:36:46wanted my mind instantly conjured the
4:36:48image of his half naked body in the
4:36:50practice gym when he'd taken off his
4:36:52shirt and I'd nearly swallowed my tongue
4:36:56you know well also bleeding
4:36:59out and I'm not in my room I'm in the
4:37:02living room watching
4:37:04TV I got up and walked over to my window
4:37:08my bedroom was the only one with a
4:37:09window on the side of the house
4:37:12and when I looked down I could see the
4:37:14light glowing out of their living room
4:37:17window I can see your
4:37:19light such a
4:37:22creeper that made me smile what are you
4:37:26watching I think the proper line is what
4:37:29are you
4:37:31wearing I couldn't stop
4:37:33smiling that was so incredibly Wes it
4:37:37was weird how talking to him was so easy
4:37:40way easier than Tex with
4:37:42Michael I wasn't sure if it was because
4:37:45I knew Wes better or perhaps it was
4:37:48because Wes knew me
4:37:50better he knew I wasn't cool he'd always
4:37:54known that so maybe that was why it felt
4:37:57so
4:37:58relaxed I didn't have to
4:38:01try I
4:38:02said maybe if I cared it would be but
4:38:06I'm actually curious about what you're
4:38:09watching guess I crossed my arms and
4:38:12leaned against the wall looking out at
4:38:14the side of his house where there were
4:38:16flowering bushes moving in the breeze
4:38:19under his lit living room
4:38:21window probably a game of some
4:38:24sort
4:38:26basketball
4:38:28wrong okay is it a movie or a TV show
4:38:34movie
4:38:35H I grabbed my bean bag and slid it in
4:38:38front of the window I felt like I needed
4:38:41to be be looking at his house I plopped
4:38:44down and asked so I need to know did you
4:38:48select it or did you just happen to stop
4:38:50by when remote
4:38:52flipping remote sto by H that
4:38:56complicates things Mr Fitz pervert
4:39:00jumped onto my lap and put his front
4:39:02paws on my chest so I would scratch his
4:39:05head I approved of the Paisley bow tie
4:39:08that Helena must have selected for him
4:39:10since I'd left him tyus when I was in a
4:39:12hurry that
4:39:14morning um Gone Girl nope but decent
4:39:19guess I thought Emily Rakowski was
4:39:22brilliant in that flick her scene with
4:39:24Affleck is still embedded in my
4:39:26brain you're
4:39:29disgusting there was laughter in his
4:39:31voice as he said I'm just messing
4:39:34because I knew you'd know what I meant
4:39:37my little Libby is just so easy to get
4:39:39riled up
4:39:41I ignored his comment the incorrigible
4:39:46boy well the book was amazing even
4:39:49without Miss radowski's
4:39:51assets
4:39:53agreed okay I tried thinking about what
4:39:57would make Wes stop and
4:40:00watch um maybe The Hangover nope
4:40:05American Pie not even
4:40:08close in what era I started wondering if
4:40:12maybe I had him pegged totally wrong did
4:40:15this cinematic Masterpiece come out I
4:40:19feel like you're assuming that I only
4:40:20like boob
4:40:22movies um his assumption about my
4:40:26assumption was correct but now I was
4:40:29having
4:40:30doubts the more I knew about Wes the
4:40:34more he proved my preconceived notions
4:40:38wrong yeah that's pretty much it
4:40:41I'm watching Mis
4:40:43Congeniality what I almost dropped the
4:40:47phone but Bennett That's a
4:40:50romcom
4:40:52yep so so I stopped because it looked
4:40:57funny and and it is I love that movie
4:41:03what channel
4:41:0533 wait your parents still have cable
4:41:08too yes my dad is a to cut the cord
4:41:12because he isn't sure if he'll get all
4:41:13the good boxing matches if we switch to
4:41:16streaming I flipped on my TV and turned
4:41:19it to the movie it was the beginning
4:41:22where Sandra Bullock's character was
4:41:23eating steak with Michael Kane at a
4:41:26restaurant the thought of losing them
4:41:28terrifies the man it's soccer for my dad
4:41:32he's convinced that all you can watch on
4:41:34Hulu are movies and NBC
4:41:37shows that made me smile Wes's death dad
4:41:41was a super nerdy college professor who
4:41:44I never would have pegged as a fan of
4:41:46anything
4:41:47athletic do you think we'll be
4:41:50technology challenged when we're old too
4:41:53oh for sure you'll probably be one of
4:41:56those old people who doesn't even have a
4:41:58TV every day will be the same you'll
4:42:01play the piano drink tea and listen to
4:42:04records for hours then take the bus to
4:42:06the movie theater you make aging sound
4:42:10incredible I want that life
4:42:12now so do you sing when you
4:42:15play
4:42:17what I've always wondered when you play
4:42:20the piano do you
4:42:21sing he'd always
4:42:25wondered did that mean he'd thought of
4:42:27it
4:42:28often when we were kids and I practiced
4:42:31with the windows open he used to howl
4:42:34like he was a dog and it was hurting his
4:42:36ears I guess I hadn't realized he knew I
4:42:39still
4:42:40played I hadn't Hur him Howl in a lot of
4:42:44years it depends on what I'm
4:42:47playing it seemed incredibly personal
4:42:50sharing this with him but it also didn't
4:42:53feel
4:42:54wrong probably because I'd known him so
4:42:57long I glanced over at the piano book
4:42:59sitting on my
4:43:01desk I don't really sing when I'm doing
4:43:03scales or warm-ups and I definitely
4:43:06don't sing if I'm playing something
4:43:07super
4:43:08challenging but when I play for fun
4:43:12look
4:43:13out he said around a laugh give me a
4:43:16song that makes you
4:43:18belt um I
4:43:21giggled I couldn't help it sharing
4:43:24private things about myself while
4:43:26sitting in the dark made me
4:43:29feel
4:43:31something some kind of
4:43:33way maybe I was just feeling
4:43:35introspective because out of nowhere I
4:43:39realized that my life for the past few
4:43:41days had felt different I was suddenly
4:43:44living this stereotype of a high school
4:43:47life I'd gone to a booze party and the
4:43:50following night I'd loaded into a car
4:43:52with a bunch of people to watch a high
4:43:54school sports game and my love interest
4:43:57had texted me not only that but I was
4:44:02talking on the phone to the boy next
4:44:03door as if it was a
4:44:05thing those things were normal but not
4:44:09for me
4:44:11and it was fun all of it even with the
4:44:15vomit and the bloody
4:44:16nose and it kind of made me wonder if
4:44:19I'd been missing
4:44:21out most of the time I preferred staying
4:44:23home and watching movies that was my
4:44:26happy place Joss had her softball
4:44:29friends that she went out with and even
4:44:32though she always invited me I always
4:44:34chose to stay home with my
4:44:36romcoms but now I was questioning that
4:44:39decision
4:44:41Wes jerked me back out of my head um is
4:44:44not an answer I know I know I
4:44:48know I laughed and
4:44:50admitted I actually pretty much turn to
4:44:54aele when I play Someone Like You you do
4:44:58not he was fullon laughing now for real
4:45:03that's a big voice song ton I know it I
4:45:08pulled the blanket from my bed lifted
4:45:10fits from my lap and wrapped us both up
4:45:12in it but when no one's home it feels
4:45:17amazing to totally shatter glass with my
4:45:19pipes I would pay money to hear
4:45:22that Fitz gave me a deepthroated
4:45:25growling meow and ran up my body jumped
4:45:28off my shoulder and escaped from my room
4:45:32I
4:45:33said you'll never have
4:45:36enough he made a comment but I didn't
4:45:39hear what it was because got distracted
4:45:41by the fact that his living room light
4:45:43went out was he still in that room was
4:45:47he getting comfy on the couch he didn't
4:45:51sound like he was
4:45:52walking how come you turned off the
4:45:55light my hand went to my mouth out of
4:45:58habit that was a nosy question to be
4:46:00embarrassed about but then I remembered
4:46:02it was just Wes I could say these
4:46:05unfiltered things to him because he
4:46:07didn't care Wes Bennett knew what a mess
4:46:10I was underneath it at all and there was
4:46:12a little bit of joy in knowing he saw
4:46:14the real
4:46:15me
4:46:16freedom I would never ask Michael why
4:46:19he'd turned off his light if he lived
4:46:22next door that would be a total creeper
4:46:25move I knew you were staring in my
4:46:28windows Buck
4:46:29bam Wes did his deep chuckle thing that
4:46:33made me laugh too I never would have
4:46:36guessed someone so uptight would be such
4:46:38a
4:46:39pervert I stared out at his dark
4:46:42window I'm not that uptight for the
4:46:45record I will say that you've been
4:46:48pretty cool about the disasters that
4:46:49have befallen you since you started
4:46:51hunting
4:46:53Michael um thanks and I'm not hunting
4:46:58him I'm just trying
4:47:01to I
4:47:03blinked what exactly was I trying to
4:47:06do Michael was it the guy just like in
4:47:10the book we were reading in lit The
4:47:12Great Gatsby he was the green light
4:47:14across the bay the symbol of the dream
4:47:17the cohesive thread come full circle
4:47:19love interest that my mom had written
4:47:22into all of her
4:47:23scripts I guess I was trying to put a
4:47:26happy ending on my script so to
4:47:28speak I
4:47:30said I just need to know that happily
4:47:32ever after really
4:47:35exists he was quiet for a minute and
4:47:38then he said I think you're C cat is out
4:47:41in my
4:47:42yard I was grateful for the change of
4:47:45subject it isn't Fitz he never goes
4:47:49outside smart cat my dog would probably
4:47:52use him as a chew toy as if Fitz pervert
4:47:56would let him I looked back out the
4:47:59window and tried to see a cat but all I
4:48:02could see was a dark yard and the white
4:48:05flowers on my mother's
4:48:07bushes so where are you did you go to
4:48:10bed
4:48:11or are you sitting in the dark like a
4:48:13complete Patrick
4:48:14baitman oh my God you're so obsessed
4:48:18will you just shut up and tell me I was
4:48:21laughing hard and it made my nose throb
4:48:24a little I need to go to bed and you
4:48:28can't sleep until you know where I
4:48:30am I see you so
4:48:34delusional just forget
4:48:36it my face literally hurt from smiling
4:48:40and out of nowhere I wondered what
4:48:42things were going to be like with me and
4:48:44Wes when our deal was
4:48:45over would he go back to only thinking
4:48:48of me as his weird neighbor only
4:48:50noticing me when he felt like messing
4:48:52with me would we return to just being
4:48:56classmates who didn't particularly like
4:48:58each
4:48:59other the thought of that made my
4:49:01stomach get a little
4:49:03heavy I didn't like
4:49:05it he laughed and the lights flashed in
4:49:08his living room on off off on off I'm
4:49:12still here Liz just messing with
4:49:16you okay well good night your turn huh
4:49:22flash of Lights it's my turn to know
4:49:25where you
4:49:26are fair was fair I leaned over and
4:49:30flicked on my desk lamp wondering if he
4:49:33was going to walk over to the window in
4:49:34order to be able to see up to my
4:49:37room so that's your room huh
4:49:41apparently
4:49:43yes it
4:49:45is could he see me I didn't think so my
4:49:49bean bag was pretty low but I still felt
4:49:54exposed
4:49:56wow he let out a low
4:49:59whistle not going to lie there's
4:50:02something about knowing that that is
4:50:04where Mrs Potato Head
4:50:06sleeps I mean damn you know I leaned
4:50:10forward and waved into the
4:50:12darkness damn indeed good night
4:50:17he gave me a deep rumbly chuckle
4:50:21but didn't say anything about the
4:50:23wave good night
4:50:26Elizabeth instead of going back to bed I
4:50:29went over to my dresser and grabbed the
4:50:31Pink photo album talking about Happy
4:50:34Endings and staring out at my mom's
4:50:37favorite bushes had given me the Mom
4:50:39feels
4:50:41although lately everything had been
4:50:43giving me
4:50:44those I spent the next hour looking at
4:50:47pictures of my mother her wedding photos
4:50:50shots of her holding me when I was a
4:50:52baby and the funny surprise takes my dad
4:50:55liked to snap when she hadn't been
4:50:56expecting
4:50:58them when I got to the photos from one
4:51:00of the neighborhood picnics I squinted
4:51:03and smiled at the group shot my mom had
4:51:06been dressed in a Paisley sundress and
4:51:08Pearls while everyone else looked like
4:51:10shoeless summer
4:51:12slobs so on brand for her
4:51:15right my eyes scanned to the front row
4:51:18where we kiddos probably age seven at
4:51:21the time looked eerily similar to our
4:51:24current selves not in appearance but an
4:51:28expression the Twins were looking away
4:51:30from the camera with their mouths wide
4:51:32open clearly up to something Michael was
4:51:36smiling like a perfect little model and
4:51:39I was beaming at him and instead of
4:51:40looking at the
4:51:41photographer Jos was making an adorable
4:51:44little smirk and Wes of course had his
4:51:48tongue all the way
4:51:50out something about that photo album
4:51:53made me feel good about the
4:51:55present but I was getting too tired to
4:51:58analyze it also my Potato Head nose was
4:52:02aching I put away the pictures shut off
4:52:05the light plugged my phone in and went
4:52:08back to bed but just before I I fell
4:52:10asleep I got one more
4:52:13message
4:52:14Wes make sure you add someone like you
4:52:19to the Wes and Liz
4:52:24playlist chapter
4:52:267 I'd rather fight with you than make
4:52:29love with anyone else The Wedding
4:52:33Date good morning
4:52:36sunshine I grunted and went straight for
4:52:38the carrig I adore my father but the
4:52:41sight of his bright-eyed smiling face
4:52:44peeking out from behind the newspaper at
4:52:46The Breakfast Table was just a little
4:52:48too much my eyes didn't want to be open
4:52:51and I definitely didn't want to engage
4:52:53in chipper morning conversation after
4:52:56being up all night with a throbbing
4:52:58nose how's the
4:53:00Honker I
4:53:02smiled that's what Wes had called it and
4:53:05hit the button that made the warm
4:53:08water sore but I'll
4:53:11survive you work today yep I'm the lucky
4:53:17opener he closed the paper and started
4:53:20folding it did you fill out the dorm
4:53:22paperwork I sent to your
4:53:24email
4:53:26crap I forgot I'll do it today you have
4:53:30to stop putting it off if you're old
4:53:33enough to go to college on the other
4:53:34side of the country you're old enough to
4:53:36fill out a few
4:53:37forms I
4:53:39sigh God got it file that under another
4:53:43thing Liz was avoiding I was dying to go
4:53:46away to school and get started at UCLA I
4:53:49was even looking forward to the actual
4:53:51Studies classes on music curation
4:53:54wouldn't seem like work would they but
4:53:57every time I thought of living there I
4:54:00got this huge ball of dread in my
4:54:01stomach that had nothing to do with
4:54:03California and everything to do with
4:54:06leaving the only place I'd ever lived
4:54:08with my
4:54:08mother and the f times I'd allowed
4:54:11myself to consider the reality that I
4:54:13would no longer be able to just toss on
4:54:15my running shoes and see her at the
4:54:18cemetery my vision instantly blurred
4:54:21with tears and my throat felt like it
4:54:24was
4:54:25closing so yeah I had some issues to
4:54:28resolve there he gave me a Dad look quit
4:54:34procrastinating the early bird gets the
4:54:36better dorm room little
4:54:38is hey speaking of that I put the Pod
4:54:42into the machine and closed the
4:54:44top was I a nice little weirdo when I
4:54:48was a
4:54:49kid he cocked an
4:54:51eyebrow come
4:54:53again I hit the button and the CG
4:54:56started
4:54:57worring Wes said that back in the day I
4:55:00was a nice little
4:55:02weirdo and I just don't remember it that
4:55:05way is he
4:55:07right my dad's face split into into a
4:55:10wide
4:55:11smile you don't remember it that way not
4:55:16at all I stared at the coffee as it spat
4:55:19into my cup I mean I maybe wasn't super
4:55:23cool but you were definitely a strange
4:55:26little kid what I looked at his grin and
4:55:31was torn between laughing and being
4:55:33annoyed I was
4:55:36not you made our deck into a wedding
4:55:38chapel when you were seven
4:55:40remember that you spent days setting it
4:55:43up with stolen flowers from your mom's
4:55:46garden and white
4:55:47sheets you tied a string of empty corn
4:55:50cans to Fitz's
4:55:52collar so that's some impressive
4:55:55creativity right there he gave a little
4:55:58laugh as I joined him at the
4:56:00table that's right that part was cute
4:56:05the part that was weird was when you
4:56:07talked to that kid who used to live on
4:56:09the corner Connor something into
4:56:12pretending to marry you he let you boss
4:56:15him around until you told him that it
4:56:17was legal and he was married to you
4:56:19forever then he tried going home but you
4:56:22tackled him to the ground and said he
4:56:24couldn't leave until he carried you over
4:56:26the
4:56:27Trestle a reasonable expectation from a
4:56:31bride he cried until we finally heard
4:56:34his whales through the screen
4:56:36doorless I blew on my
4:56:39coffee I'm I'm still waiting for the
4:56:41weird
4:56:42part you broke your black oval glasses
4:56:44in the scuffle and you still wouldn't
4:56:46let him up he should have stayed put
4:56:49like a good
4:56:50husband he started laughing and so did I
4:56:55so maybe I had been a little
4:57:00weird excuse me do you work here I
4:57:04rolled my eyes as I tried to finish
4:57:06Shifting the bottom row of middle-grade
4:57:08fiction to the next shelf over I'd made
4:57:10it through a full mning of what happened
4:57:13to your nose at the cash register so I'd
4:57:17switched to stocking new releases in
4:57:19hopes of avoiding further human
4:57:21contact I stood from my Squat and turned
4:57:24around and almost swallowed my tongue
4:57:27when I saw Michael oh my God
4:57:31hey hey Liz his face jumped into a big
4:57:35grin I didn't know you worked here yeah
4:57:40I so wanted to cover my hideous nose and
4:57:43maybe
4:57:44disappear he'd been the instigator of
4:57:47our text conversation last night but I
4:57:49felt weird about how awkward it had
4:57:52been I'm
4:57:54impressed his hands slid into his
4:57:56pockets and he said two jobs and
4:58:00school what I can't believe you wait
4:58:04tables and work here when I don't even
4:58:07have one job at the moment
4:58:10H the
4:58:12diner my lives were really becoming
4:58:14difficult to
4:58:15manage what can I say I like
4:58:19money I felt my breath hitch as I looked
4:58:21at him he was wearing a button-down
4:58:24plaid shirt not casual plaid flannel
4:58:27mind you but like a nice shirt and it
4:58:30was paired with perfect pants and
4:58:32leather shoes that looked like they
4:58:34belonged on a fancy boat he looked
4:58:38beautiful and classy
4:58:40like someone who could successfully win
4:58:42an argument without raising his voice I
4:58:45bit down on my lower lip and tried not
4:58:48to stare at his perfect
4:58:50face is there something I can help you
4:58:54find his smile turned into a
4:58:57self-deprecating embarrassed
4:58:59smirk I'm looking for a
4:59:02book it showed up as available online
4:59:05but it isn't in the
4:59:07section what book
4:59:10he looked like he didn't want to tell me
4:59:13he put his hands in his pockets and
4:59:15said okay don't
4:59:18laugh I'm looking for the other Miss
4:59:21Bridgerton by Julia
4:59:23Quinn I rolled my lips Inward and tilted
4:59:26my head trying to figure out what the
4:59:29story was I read that book I mean I'd
4:59:33read all of the Bridgerton novels but
4:59:36historical romances were typically read
4:59:38by women
4:59:40why would I laugh that's a great book
4:59:45his eyes narrowed are you being
4:59:49sarcastic not at all I love everything
4:59:52Quinn has ever
4:59:53written his mouth loosened a little in
4:59:56relief you're judging me for reading
4:59:59them because I'm a guy though aren't
5:00:01you H let's see a guy who reads romance
5:00:07really really good romance someone who
5:00:10doesn't care about labels and loses
5:00:12himself in books about clever funny
5:00:15heroins and the men who appreciate their
5:00:18individuality no judgment here a little
5:00:22light-headed smitten perhaps but no
5:00:25judgment I casually rested my hand over
5:00:28my horrible nose and said absolutely not
5:00:33I'm kind of curious how you picked them
5:00:35up but I sincerely think they're of Jane
5:00:38Austin quality
5:00:40that made his mouth curl in a
5:00:42tease you don't think that's may be a
5:00:45stretch trust me Michael you don't want
5:00:48to debate this with me I've got a 4-Hour
5:00:51shift in front of me and an obsessive
5:00:53love of Romance Books you can't win this
5:00:55one he gave a chuckle that reached his
5:00:58eyes squinting them in the warmest
5:01:01way
5:01:03noted and for the record it all started
5:01:06with a
5:01:07bit as all good things things
5:01:10do before the last word left my lips an
5:01:14image of Wes's face popped into my head
5:01:17all day long I'd been replaying our
5:01:19phone call the grally sleepiness of his
5:01:22voice as we' watched Mis Congeniality
5:01:25together from two separate
5:01:27houses Michael laughed again and just
5:01:30like that I was back in the present and
5:01:32we were both smiling all over each other
5:01:35next to the secondhand Judy Bloom
5:01:37section he crossed his arms in front of
5:01:39his chest and said A friend of mine
5:01:42challenged me to read the Duke and I a
5:01:44few years ago she put money on the idea
5:01:47that if I actually read it I would like
5:01:49it I loved that
5:01:52book and that was
5:01:54it that was it he gave me a sheepish
5:01:58smile and
5:02:00said besides what's more fun than a
5:02:03story that starts with a fake
5:02:06relationship every fiber of my being
5:02:08wanted to laugh maniacally at the words
5:02:11he'd just spoken but I nodded and said I
5:02:15wholeheartedly
5:02:17agree you do know that your hand isn't
5:02:20doing anything to cover your nose right
5:02:23I can still see it I rolled my eyes
5:02:27which made him grin I dropped my hand
5:02:29and said it's just so atrocious that I
5:02:32can't help but try to cover it you know
5:02:35I get it but it doesn't look bad at all
5:02:38compared to last night maybe a little
5:02:40small Li but that's
5:02:42it thanks you know for lying to me I
5:02:47owned a mirror so his words only served
5:02:50to confirm that he was as nice as he'd
5:02:52ever been and that accent oh
5:02:57baby I gestured for him to follow me I
5:03:00knew exactly where to find the book he
5:03:02was looking for and it was on the other
5:03:04side of the
5:03:06store I do think it is shrinking
5:03:10even though it's still
5:03:12potatoe
5:03:14agreed so how are your parents I glanced
5:03:18over my shoulder catch me
5:03:20up well the folks are good he started
5:03:24and I wondered if his parents were still
5:03:26super serious I had blurry memories of
5:03:30thick glasses and frowning
5:03:32mouths do you still have cats I'd loved
5:03:36that he liked cats better than dogs it
5:03:39had been another reason why he always
5:03:41seemed smarter than the rest of the
5:03:42neighborhood
5:03:43kids Perkins and Mr
5:03:47squishy I can't believe you remember
5:03:49their
5:03:50names he was grinning again looking the
5:03:53kind of happy that made me want to eat
5:03:55his face
5:03:56off squish lives with my grandma now but
5:04:00Perkins still resides with us tormenting
5:04:03us on the daily with his shitty cat
5:04:06attitude his
5:04:08cattitude I stopped in front of the
5:04:10large print section good
5:04:13boy my mind went to West then because
5:04:17when we talked on the phone the night
5:04:18before he'd asked if my cat was
5:04:21outside it had taken forever for me to
5:04:24fall asleep once I got into bed mostly
5:04:26on account of the incessant smiling that
5:04:29I was doing as I recalled our
5:04:31conversation the growly sound of his
5:04:34voice when he teased and you can't sleep
5:04:37until you know where I am I see
5:04:41you Michael said speaking of w what I
5:04:46wasn't I blurted blinking fast while
5:04:50trying to figure out what the hell I'd
5:04:51missed and what words he'd been saying
5:04:53as I'd zoned
5:04:55out Michael frowned as he looked at me
5:04:58strangely and
5:04:59said I really think you should give him
5:05:02a
5:05:03shot wait
5:05:05what Michael had already done his
5:05:07wingman Duty by mentioning it to me at
5:05:09the basketball court right sure they
5:05:12were friends but if he had any thoughts
5:05:15about me that went beyond friendship it
5:05:18seemed like he wouldn't be pushing so
5:05:20hard but he had texted me and he had
5:05:24been the playful
5:05:26one so what did it all
5:05:28mean I needed a bulletin board and some
5:05:31string at this point as we got to the
5:05:34Quinn section I said a
5:05:38shot what
5:05:40constitutes a shot
5:05:42exactly he reached up and pulled the
5:05:45book from the
5:05:46Shelf just get to know him I already
5:05:50know
5:05:50him the now him not the hide and seek
5:05:55him he opened the book and flipped
5:05:58through the
5:05:59pages wow those are some large
5:06:02words sorry we only have the large print
5:06:05edition in
5:06:06stock anyway he continued giving me
5:06:10enough eye contact to make me
5:06:13fidget he likes you Le honestly I've
5:06:17only been here for a few days and I
5:06:19can't get him to shut up about
5:06:22you what exactly was Wes saying when I
5:06:24wasn't around was he playing it up too
5:06:27much because if he did the plan might
5:06:30totally
5:06:31backfire I said he doesn't even really
5:06:34know me he knows the hide and seek me
5:06:39just try that's all I'm asking go out
5:06:43with him and
5:06:45try I looked at him and notd on the
5:06:48corner of my
5:06:49lip are you asking me out for
5:06:53him how in the flipping flip were Wes
5:06:56and I going to get out of
5:06:58this that made him smile
5:07:01again not at all but I'm having people
5:07:04over Wednesday night to watch movies
5:07:07since seniors have late start Thursday
5:07:10and you all should
5:07:11come I swallowed and
5:07:14teased you mean together
5:07:17right that made him
5:07:19smile just carpool with
5:07:22Wes
5:07:24please God this whole thing was starting
5:07:27to spin out of
5:07:28control now Michael was having people
5:07:31over so Wes could make a move but Wes
5:07:34was only pretending to think I was
5:07:35amazing to show Michael how amazing I
5:07:38was I was getting Whiplash and this was
5:07:41my own plan I needed to end it
5:07:45soon I
5:07:47asked what if after that I still only
5:07:51like him as a
5:07:53friend what
5:07:55then no harm no
5:07:57fell his eyes moved over my face and it
5:08:01felt like a
5:08:02moment it felt like he was really seeing
5:08:05me or considering something about me and
5:08:09I wondered just how bad my nose
5:08:13looked fine I said maybe he was giving
5:08:17his friend one last shot before he moved
5:08:19in I said I'll give him a
5:08:24shot
5:08:25yes he beamed down at me and did a
5:08:28little fist pump
5:08:30thing now if you'll excuse me I'm going
5:08:33to take my romance novel home and read
5:08:35it in a steamy bubble
5:08:37bath I laughed
5:08:40go treat yourself
5:08:44honeyy it was just straight up adorable
5:08:47Ma I leaned back against The Headstone
5:08:50and crossed my ankles inhaling the smell
5:08:53of fresh cut
5:08:55grass sometimes April was slow to hit in
5:08:57Nebraska with the occasional late
5:08:59snowstorm blowing in to destroy the
5:09:01promise of spring but not this year
5:09:05birds were chirping in the budding
5:09:07leaves of the cemetery's tall trees
5:09:10the Evening Sun was
5:09:12warmish and that Springtime feeling of
5:09:15anticipation floated through the air
5:09:17along with the smell of the blossoming
5:09:19choke
5:09:20cherries Not only was he buying a
5:09:23romantic book that no typical insecure
5:09:26male would ever admit to reading but he
5:09:29was funny and charming and between you
5:09:33and me flirty with his eyes flirty with
5:09:36his eyes and he'd been for sure flirty
5:09:39with his text last
5:09:41night I think he
5:09:43thinks I don't know I don't want to say
5:09:46he thinks I'm cool but maybe
5:09:50funny yeah I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm
5:09:53funny I pictured his laughing face again
5:09:56for like the 20th time since he'd left
5:09:58the bookstore and I wanted to
5:10:02squeal I swear to God you would love him
5:10:04so much she so would he was mature mat
5:10:10and polite and charming and smart
5:10:13totally the kind of guy she made the
5:10:15hero of every single one of her screen
5:10:18place every script she'd written had the
5:10:21solid Dependable cutie Landing their
5:10:24love which was why I just wanted him to
5:10:27ask me to prom so
5:10:29badly somehow going to prom with someone
5:10:32she'd known who'd known her well enough
5:10:35to know about and remember her daisies
5:10:38seemed vitally
5:10:39important like it might make it feel
5:10:41like she was somehow involved in my
5:10:43senior
5:10:44year ridiculous
5:10:47right but I just wanted the hole of
5:10:49emptiness in my life to shrink just a
5:10:52tiny
5:10:53bit was that so much to
5:10:56ask I kept waiting for the closure I was
5:11:00supposed to feel but I was starting to
5:11:02think it would never
5:11:04come the choke cherry tree I'd been
5:11:07looking at got blurry and and I
5:11:09swallowed down the pinch in my
5:11:12throat dad and Helena keep asking me
5:11:14about
5:11:15prom if I'm going if I need a
5:11:19dress and the thing is I don't want
5:11:21their help with
5:11:22anything it's selfish and they don't
5:11:25deserve it but if I can't have you doing
5:11:29those things with me I don't want anyone
5:11:31else are you talking to
5:11:34yourself I jumped knocking my head
5:11:36against mom's headstone before turning
5:11:39around to see Wes he was standing there
5:11:42in sporty clothes with a sweaty running
5:11:44brow and I put my hand over my racing
5:11:47heart and said oh my God what are you
5:11:51doing
5:11:52here his mouth went down and his
5:11:55eyebrows squinched together like he was
5:11:58confused whoa
5:12:00sorry I didn't mean to startle
5:12:03you for some reason I was pissed by his
5:12:07appearance I knew I should feel
5:12:09embarrassed that he'd caught me talking
5:12:11to a piece of marble or worried about
5:12:14what exactly he'd heard but all I could
5:12:16think about was the fact that he was in
5:12:19this space it was my space my mom's in
5:12:23mine and he shouldn't be there I
5:12:25scrambled to my feet Wes did you follow
5:12:28me here what is your
5:12:31problem
5:12:32Oh his smirk
5:12:35disappeared and he glanced at my
5:12:36mother's grave now that I'd moved moved
5:12:39he could see her name before
5:12:42saying I was already running when I
5:12:46saw you turn in here I thought you were
5:12:49just cutting
5:12:50through yeah well I wasn't okay I
5:12:54blinked fast trying to stop my emotions
5:12:57from speeding down whatever shoot they
5:12:58were headed
5:13:00for it's probably best if you just don't
5:13:03run after people without them knowing
5:13:05that it probably be your best
5:13:07bet he
5:13:10swallowed I didn't know
5:13:12Liz I rolled my eyes and pulled my
5:13:15earbuds from my
5:13:17pocket yeah well now you do know you
5:13:21know that weird little Liz is the freak
5:13:23who can't get over her dead mom awesome
5:13:26no listen he stepped closer and wrapped
5:13:30his hands around my upper arms gently
5:13:33squeezing as his intense brown eyes
5:13:36moved all over my face like he was
5:13:38desperate to convince
5:13:40me I'm going to go now and you stay
5:13:44forget you ever saw
5:13:46me too
5:13:48late I breathed in through my nose and
5:13:51gritted my teeth stepping back from him
5:13:54and his
5:13:55hands say if you want I don't care I
5:13:59jammed my earbuds into my ears and
5:14:01started the music I cranked Foo Fighters
5:14:04so loud that I couldn't hear whatever
5:14:05Wes was saying to me and I turned away
5:14:08from him and started running down the
5:14:09road even though I knew he was yelling
5:14:12my name I ran home at a record Pace
5:14:15trying to think about mundane things
5:14:18like homework in a weak attempt to shut
5:14:21down my
5:14:22emotions I needed to write a paper on
5:14:25patriarchy in literature and I couldn't
5:14:28decide if I should use the yellow
5:14:29wallpaper or the story of an hour I
5:14:33liked the second one better but the
5:14:35first had more
5:14:37material I slammed through the front
5:14:39front door and had almost made it to the
5:14:41safety of my room when my dad yelled for
5:14:44me yeah come in here for a sec I went
5:14:49down the hall to his room and pushed
5:14:51open his bedroom door still breathing
5:14:53hard from the
5:14:55exercise
5:14:57yeah he was sitting up in bed reading a
5:15:00book with an episode of Friends on TV in
5:15:03the background he didn't even tear his
5:15:05eyes from the paperback when he asked
5:15:08hey did you go prom dress shopping with
5:15:10Joselyn
5:15:11yet not yet her mom got tied up and I
5:15:16didn't really feel like it because of my
5:15:18nose oh yeah how's that feeling by the
5:15:22way I Shrugged and thought about how
5:15:25much I loved hearing friends reruns in
5:15:27my dad's room he and my mother had
5:15:29watched that show in bed so many times
5:15:32that it had become like a lullabi to me
5:15:35a sound that conjured the sights and
5:15:37smells of my Early Child
5:15:40childhood better I guess glad to hear it
5:15:45he turned the volume on the television
5:15:47down to zero and finally looked at
5:15:50me listen since you haven't gone yet
5:15:55maybe you could see if Helena wants to
5:15:56go with you guys I know she'd love to do
5:15:59this and I'm pretty sure she'll pay for
5:16:01your overpriced dress
5:16:03too oh the
5:16:06timing I didn't want her to to come and
5:16:10I definitely didn't want her to pay for
5:16:12my dress I felt an anxious skip in my
5:16:15heartbeat and
5:16:17tried I think she's probably too come on
5:16:21liilu my dad took off his reading
5:16:25glasses she really wants to do this with
5:16:28you why is it such a big
5:16:30ask I
5:16:33swallowed it's
5:16:35not really because I've heard her
5:16:38mentioned two or three times that she'd
5:16:40be happy to take you shopping yet you
5:16:43made plans with someone
5:16:45else I'll take care of
5:16:47it why couldn't he and Helena Let It Go
5:16:52why did they have to pile on to the prom
5:16:54pressure it felt like everyone wanted me
5:16:57to do something multiple somethings that
5:16:59I didn't want to
5:17:01do he cocked an eyebrow you'll invite
5:17:05her and not say something like it was my
5:17:08idea
5:17:10my throat was tight but I said
5:17:14sure he moved on to talking about
5:17:17something else but I didn't hear any of
5:17:20it why should I have to go dress
5:17:22shopping with
5:17:24Helena for the rest of our chat and the
5:17:26entire duration of my shower afterward
5:17:29my brain shouted arguments to the great
5:17:31unknown I felt suffocated by the thought
5:17:34of Helena taking my mom's place the kind
5:17:37of helpless desperation that caused your
5:17:39fingernails to leave tiny Crescent
5:17:41grooves on your
5:17:43palms I don't want her there so why is
5:17:46it getting forced down my throat why do
5:17:50her wishes count more than
5:17:52mine the arguments boiled through me as
5:17:55I brushed my teeth and laid out my
5:17:57clothes and by the time I shut off the
5:17:59light and climbed into bed I was
5:18:02exhausted and totally racked with guilt
5:18:05about what a I'd been to Wes at
5:18:07the cemetery
5:18:08he'd done nothing wrong but the sight of
5:18:11him in that weirdly sacred Place had set
5:18:14me
5:18:15off I guess it was because that was the
5:18:17only place where I felt her
5:18:20anymore the rest of the world and my
5:18:23life had moved on but in that one spot
5:18:28nothing had changed since she
5:18:31died I was
5:18:33pathetic I flipped on my TV and loaded
5:18:36the two weeks notice DVD it was another
5:18:39movie where Hugh Grant was playing a
5:18:41sketchball but the banter between him
5:18:43and Sandra Bullock more than made up for
5:18:45that fact and actually made him
5:18:49forgivable I pulled the blankets up to
5:18:51my chin as Sandra Bullock's character
5:18:53ordered too much Chinese food when I
5:18:56reached from my phone to plug it in I
5:18:58noticed I'd missed a
5:19:00text from
5:19:02Wes
5:19:04Wes I'm sorry I didn't know that your
5:19:08mom was there or I never would have
5:19:10followed you
5:19:11inside I know you think I'm a dick but I
5:19:13promise you I would never intrude on
5:19:17that I sighed and sat up I was so
5:19:22embarrassed how could I even explain it
5:19:25no one normal would ever
5:19:27understand and wait he thought that I
5:19:30thought he was a
5:19:32dick
5:19:34me forget it I'm the one who should be
5:19:37apologizing because you didn't do
5:19:39anything wrong you caught me at a bad
5:19:42moment and I freaked out not your fault
5:19:46Wes no I get it it wasn't apparent so I
5:19:51know it's not the same but I was close
5:19:54to my
5:19:55grandma every time we go to Minnesota
5:19:58the first thing I do is go to the
5:20:00cemetery to talk to
5:20:01her I looked up from my phone and
5:20:05blinked then I
5:20:07texted really
5:20:10Wes
5:20:12really I nodded in the darkness and
5:20:15blinked fast while my thumbs Flew Over
5:20:17the
5:20:18keys
5:20:19me I started running as a way to go talk
5:20:24to her without having to
5:20:26explain
5:20:27Wes no that's why you started
5:20:31running I could hear Fitz meowing at my
5:20:33door so I got up and went to open it me
5:20:39not past tense that is why I run
5:20:44Wes wait a second are you telling me
5:20:47that every day when I see you take off
5:20:49and I assume that you're training in
5:20:51order to make it to the Olympic trials
5:20:54you're actually just running to Oak Lawn
5:20:56to talk to your mother smiley
5:20:58face Mr Fitz pervert looked up at me
5:21:02meowed and walked away now there was a
5:21:06dick I shut my door
5:21:10me
5:21:12Bingo but I swear to God I will gut you
5:21:14with a vegetable peeler if you tell
5:21:16anyone Wes your secret is safe with me
5:21:21bubal I walked over to the
5:21:23window your house looks dark are you up
5:21:26in your room Wes are you ever not
5:21:30creeping on me creeper and before you
5:21:33ask I'm wearing a kiy pair of trousers a
5:21:35pirate blouse and a Black Beret
5:21:39I laughed in the quiet of my
5:21:40room
5:21:42me I wasn't going to ask but that sounds
5:21:46hot Wes it is I've got heat stroke up in
5:21:51here I looked down at their front yard
5:21:54where someone had left a football next
5:21:56to the hydrangea
5:21:57bushes Wes and the answer to your
5:22:00question is that I'm Outback in the
5:22:03secret
5:22:04area the secret
5:22:06area I hadn't thought of it in years
5:22:10Wes's house had a bit of land behind
5:22:12their fence that had never been
5:22:14developed so while the rest of the
5:22:16houses on this street backed up to other
5:22:18backyards Wes's had a tiny little Forest
5:22:21behind it in grade school during peak
5:22:24hideand-seek
5:22:25days we'd dubbed it the secret
5:22:28area it was where we'd explored
5:22:32pretended started unapproved
5:22:35campfires it had been incredible
5:22:38I hadn't been back there since the
5:22:40summer before Middle
5:22:42School
5:22:43me
5:22:45why W come see
5:22:49why did he really want me to come hang
5:22:52out hanging out by ourselves in a way
5:22:55that had nothing to do with
5:22:57Michael my mom had cautioned against
5:22:59dating flighty boys but it was okay to
5:23:02be friends with them
5:23:04right I texted my dad and Helena are
5:23:07already asleep
5:23:09Wes so sneak out I rolled my eyes so
5:23:16typical unlike you I've never snuck out
5:23:19it seems ill
5:23:21advised I couldn't but part of me felt
5:23:24like I could hear him laugh at my
5:23:27response after about a minute my phone
5:23:30buzzed
5:23:32Wes ill advised Buck Bal you never fail
5:23:36to make me laugh
5:23:38me thank you Wes not a
5:23:43compliment but you're looking at this
5:23:46the wrong way Me O and what is the right
5:23:52way
5:23:54Wes you a very well- behaved teenager
5:23:58simply want to get some fresh spring air
5:24:00and look at the stars for a couple
5:24:02minutes instead of waking up your
5:24:04parents you decide to quietly slip out
5:24:06for a few minutes
5:24:09me you're a
5:24:11sociopath
5:24:12Wes dare you I glanced in the direction
5:24:16of the hall as those words dare you
5:24:20brought back so many memories of Wes
5:24:22goting me to do things I shouldn't like
5:24:25climbing onto Brenda Buck holtz's roof
5:24:27and dingdong ditching Mr lavine's
5:24:30house before I could respond he texted
5:24:33I'm shutting off my phone so I won't get
5:24:36your
5:24:36excuses see you in 5
5:24:42minutes chapter
5:24:458 I like you very much just as you are
5:24:50Bridget Jones's
5:24:52Diary I couldn't believe I was doing it
5:24:55I stepped over the creaky floorboard in
5:24:57the hallway and quietly crept toward the
5:25:00sliding glass door in the dining room it
5:25:03was risky but for some reason I needed
5:25:06to do this I wanted to hang out with
5:25:10Wes it was probably just that his
5:25:13understanding of my grief made me feel a
5:25:15camaraderie with him I'd always felt
5:25:18like my visits with my mom were
5:25:20freakish but I'd also felt like
5:25:22something inside me would break if I had
5:25:24to
5:25:26stop that theory would be tested in the
5:25:28fall though wouldn't it regardless
5:25:31finally sharing it with someone felt
5:25:34almost like a
5:25:36release it didn't make sense that he was
5:25:38the one of all people for me to share it
5:25:42with but I was starting to move Beyond
5:25:45questioning it it also felt nice to not
5:25:48be fighting with Wes for once which was
5:25:51weird because that was our thing he
5:25:55messed with me and I got pissed rinse
5:25:58and repeat for our whole
5:26:00lives but now I was discovering that he
5:26:03was hilarious and nice and seemed like
5:26:07more fun than pretty much everyone else
5:26:09I
5:26:10knew I slowly pulled open the door
5:26:13listening for any sounds coming from the
5:26:15other end of the house as Mr Fitz
5:26:18pervert snaked in between my stockinged
5:26:21feet I stepped out onto the deck and
5:26:23slid the door closed behind me it was a
5:26:27chilly night with a clear sky and a
5:26:29bright High Moon that lit up the town I
5:26:34could see Moon Shadows everywhere which
5:26:37were beautiful and Eerie at the same
5:26:39time I crept down the stairs and once I
5:26:43hit the cold grass I jogged across the
5:26:45backyard and over to the chain link
5:26:47fence that separated our yards it
5:26:50suddenly felt like it had been mere days
5:26:53not years since I'd climbed that fence
5:26:55as a kid and I was over it and in his
5:26:58yard in
5:27:00seconds the Shadows were creepy so I
5:27:03kept jogging to the back gate forgetting
5:27:06any semblance of coolness or composure
5:27:09I pulled up the arm opened the gate and
5:27:11Whisper yelled
5:27:13Wes over
5:27:15here I could barely see because the
5:27:18thick trees blocked out the moon but I
5:27:20walked in the direction of his voice I
5:27:23went around a flowering bush and a wide
5:27:25fur tree and then there he
5:27:29was oh my God
5:27:32Wes I looked around
5:27:36amazed there were hundred of tiny
5:27:39twinkling lights strung in a grouping of
5:27:41trees that circled four wooden ader deck
5:27:44chairs one of which Wes was sitting in a
5:27:47fire pit roaring with flames was at the
5:27:50center of everything and a rock
5:27:52waterfall ran behind him the space was
5:27:56so thick with foliage that it felt like
5:27:58a wild hidden spot instead of a Suburban
5:28:03backyard this is
5:28:05incredible did your mom do all of this
5:28:09no he Shrugged and looked
5:28:13uncomfortable Wes Bennett looked awkward
5:28:16for perhaps the first time ever and he
5:28:19sat there with his long legs stretched
5:28:22out in front of him and looked up at the
5:28:25sky this is my favorite
5:28:28spot so I actually did
5:28:31it nope I sat down in the chair across
5:28:34from
5:28:35him you didn't do this no way yes way he
5:28:41kept his eyes up and
5:28:43said I worked for a landscaping company
5:28:46three summers ago and everything we
5:28:48charged clients of Fortune for I would
5:28:50just do myself back here retaining walls
5:28:53waterfalls pond it's all simple and
5:28:56cheap to make if you know what you're
5:28:59doing who was this
5:29:01guy tucking my legs underneath me I
5:29:04pulled my sleeves over my fingers and
5:29:07looked up at the sky
5:29:09it was clear and there were stars
5:29:12everywhere Bella Luna a very old Jason
5:29:16morz song was the choicest of all
5:29:18musical numbers to set the background
5:29:20for this surprise Moonlight
5:29:23Oasis belluna my beautiful beautiful
5:29:27moon how you Swoon me like no
5:29:31other I stopped the music in my head and
5:29:35said hey I saw Michael today
5:29:39I know I squinted trying to better see
5:29:43his face in the darkness searching for
5:29:45some
5:29:46giveaway he just kept looking at the sky
5:29:50though he told
5:29:52you he
5:29:54did I looked at Wes's profile his lips
5:29:58barely moved as he quietly
5:30:01said he texted me said he'd run into you
5:30:05and
5:30:06Liz he said you were
5:30:09funny he did I wanted to howl I knew it
5:30:14what exactly did he
5:30:16say he said she's pretty
5:30:20funny and then he mentioned the get
5:30:22together at his
5:30:24house yep I said I'd give you a
5:30:28shot I looked into the
5:30:30fire
5:30:32funny he said I was
5:30:34funny that was good right I guess that
5:30:38meant my awkward coconuts text hadn't
5:30:40kicked me off the
5:30:42island but part of me worries that I'm
5:30:45screwing up my chances with our little
5:30:47version of fake
5:30:48dating that brought his eyes right back
5:30:51to my
5:30:52face you want to
5:30:55quit I Shrugged and wondered what he was
5:30:59thinking because as fun as this actually
5:31:01was and in spite of the fact that it was
5:31:05kind of working I was done with all the
5:31:09lying I
5:31:11said I always think I know what I'm
5:31:14doing but what if you're right about my
5:31:16terrible Grand
5:31:18plans what if I'm just ruining both of
5:31:20our dating
5:31:22lives and jeopardizing my friendship
5:31:24with Jos and also sinking into a life of
5:31:27Habitual
5:31:29dishonesty then I'll have to kill you
5:31:32dating is my
5:31:34everything
5:31:36smartass I rolled my ey because for a
5:31:39popular guy I'd only ever heard of him
5:31:41being in a few
5:31:42relationships none of which had turned
5:31:45into anything
5:31:46serious I ran my teeth over my bottom
5:31:49lip and
5:31:51said maybe you should take me to
5:31:53Michaels and then we should decide we
5:31:55aren't a match and I don't know send out
5:31:59a group
5:32:01text I blinked fast and tried to figure
5:32:04out why the thought of being done with
5:32:06our plan made my heartbeat in my neck
5:32:09he looked at me then and I was surprised
5:32:12by how soft his smile
5:32:14was he looked almost sweet as he
5:32:18said I can't believe your ridiculous
5:32:20plan is
5:32:22working
5:32:24right he kind of laughed and so did I
5:32:28and then he
5:32:30said I really am sorry about earlier by
5:32:33the
5:32:34way I waved a hand no biggy
5:32:39I made you
5:32:41cry he looked away but I caught a
5:32:44glimpse of his clenched
5:32:46jaw it was almost like it mattered to
5:32:48him that he'd upset me and in the
5:32:51Moonlight I felt something that I had
5:32:53never felt about Wes
5:32:56before I wanted to move closer to
5:32:59him I swallowed and checked
5:33:02myself what was this influx of Wes's
5:33:05fondness I was probably just aware of
5:33:08how much fun I'd had with him during our
5:33:11deal and now it was almost
5:33:13over that was
5:33:15it so instead of following through on
5:33:17the Absurd instinct to move closer I
5:33:20just
5:33:21said God you're so arrogant
5:33:24Bennet I was already crying when you
5:33:26showed up everything isn't about you you
5:33:30know but it was actually that moment
5:33:34that crying moment that had forged some
5:33:37sort of connection between me and
5:33:39Wes and it was a good
5:33:42connection I saw his Adams Apple Bob
5:33:45around a swallow as I stared at his
5:33:48silhouette he lifted his eyes to me and
5:33:52said
5:33:54promise uh
5:33:56yes good Lord he was killing me with his
5:34:00concern I cleared my throat and looked
5:34:02back at the
5:34:04sky I'm good now so forget you ever saw
5:34:08it
5:34:11done we sat quietly for a few minutes
5:34:14both of us lost in the Starry
5:34:17Sky but it wasn't
5:34:19awkward for once in my life I didn't
5:34:23feel compelled to fill the empty space
5:34:25with constant
5:34:27chatter I can still picture her
5:34:30perfectly you know he
5:34:32said hm I said I was confused and must
5:34:38have looked it because he
5:34:40added your
5:34:43mom
5:34:45really I curled tighter into the chair
5:34:48wrapping my arms around my legs and
5:34:50picturing her
5:34:52face even I wasn't sure I could remember
5:34:55her exact features
5:34:57anymore it broke my heart a
5:35:00little for
5:35:02sure his voice was warm like it was
5:35:05holding a smile and he cracked his
5:35:08knuckles when he
5:35:09said she was
5:35:12so H what's the
5:35:15word Charming
5:35:18maybe I
5:35:20smiled
5:35:22enchanting that's
5:35:24perfect he gave me a little boy grin and
5:35:27said there was this one day I was
5:35:30running in front of your house and
5:35:32totally wiped out absolutely shredded my
5:35:35knee on the
5:35:36sidewalk your mom was out there trimming
5:35:38her roses so I tried jumping up and
5:35:41being cool you know because I was like
5:35:44eight and your mom was hella
5:35:46pretty I smiled and remembered how much
5:35:50she had loved tending her
5:35:52garden instead of treating me like a
5:35:55little kid she cut one of her roses and
5:35:58pretended to hurt her finger she did a
5:36:01whole ouch thing before
5:36:03saying Wesley would you mind helping me
5:36:06for a minute
5:36:09now mind you I just wanted to crawl off
5:36:11into a corner and die from my horrific
5:36:13battle
5:36:14wounds but if Mrs bucks bomb needed me I
5:36:18was damn well going to
5:36:20help Wes was grinning and I was helpless
5:36:24to do anything other than the
5:36:26same I hadn't heard a new story about my
5:36:29mother in such a long time that his
5:36:31words were oxygen and I was breathing
5:36:34them in with a life and death
5:36:35desperation
5:36:38so I limped over and followed her inside
5:36:41your house which by the way always
5:36:43smelled like
5:36:44vanilla it was Vanilla candles I still
5:36:47bought the same
5:36:49scent anyway she had me help her get a
5:36:52Band-Aid on her finger like she couldn't
5:36:54do it herself or
5:36:56something I felt like the hero when she
5:36:58kept thanking me and telling me how
5:37:01grown up I was
5:37:02getting now I was beaming like a
5:37:06dork then she noticed my bloody knee and
5:37:10said I must have been so concerned about
5:37:12helping her that I hadn't even realized
5:37:14I was
5:37:15bleeding she cleaned me up put on a
5:37:18Band-Aid and gave me a
5:37:20fudgicle made me feel like a damned hero
5:37:23for face planting on the
5:37:25sidewalk I laughed and looked up at the
5:37:28sky My Heart
5:37:31full that story is so unbrand for my
5:37:36mom every time time I see a cardinal in
5:37:38your
5:37:39yard I think it's
5:37:42her I looked at his shadowed face and
5:37:45almost wanted to laugh because I never
5:37:48would have imagined Wes having such a
5:37:50Fantastical
5:37:52thought you
5:37:54do I mean there's the whole thing about
5:37:57Cardinals being dead
5:38:00people he scrunched his eyebrows at me
5:38:03cringing a
5:38:04little I was trying for verbage Tad more
5:38:08delicate than that but
5:38:11yes I don't know if I buy the whole dead
5:38:14people come back as Birds
5:38:16thing but it's a nice
5:38:19thought it was the
5:38:22nicest but I'd always felt like if I
5:38:25allowed myself to believe in those
5:38:27Notions I'd never get past her death
5:38:31because I'd surely spent every second of
5:38:34my life tearfully bird watching
5:38:38do you miss her a
5:38:40lot he cleared his throat and made a
5:38:43little sound like he was embarrassed by
5:38:45his own
5:38:46question I mean of course you do
5:38:51but is it at least a little easier now
5:38:54than it used to
5:38:56be I leaned forward and held my hands in
5:38:59front of the
5:39:01fire I miss her a
5:39:03lot like all the time
5:39:08but lately it feels
5:39:10different I don't
5:39:12know I trailed off and stared at the
5:39:17Flames was it easier he
5:39:20wondered I felt like I couldn't answer
5:39:22that question because I refused to let
5:39:25it get
5:39:26easier I thought about her a lot every
5:39:30single
5:39:31day and if I started doing that less
5:39:34surely it' get easier
5:39:37but the easier it got the more she'd
5:39:39disappear
5:39:41right he scratched his cheek and
5:39:45asked different
5:39:48how worse
5:39:51maybe I Shrugged and watched the bottom
5:39:54of the log as it heated to almost a
5:39:56shade of
5:39:57white I wasn't sure how to explain it
5:40:01when I didn't even get it
5:40:03myself I don't
5:40:05know it's really weird
5:40:09actually I
5:40:11just I guess it kind of feels like I'm
5:40:14really losing her this
5:40:16year all of these Milestones are
5:40:19happening like prom and college
5:40:23applications and she isn't here for
5:40:25them so my life is changing and moving
5:40:29forward and she's being left behind with
5:40:32my
5:40:34childhood does that make sense
5:40:38holy
5:40:39Liz Wes sat up a little straighter and
5:40:42ran his hands over the top of his hair
5:40:45messing it up as his serious eyes met
5:40:48mine in the fire
5:40:50light that makes total
5:40:53sense and it also
5:40:56sucks are you lying I squinted in the
5:41:00darkness but the fire's flicker made it
5:41:02tough to read his
5:41:04expression because I know I'm weird
5:41:06about my
5:41:08M how is that
5:41:10weird the breeze lifted his dark hair
5:41:13and tousled it just a
5:41:15little it makes perfect
5:41:18sense I didn't know if it did or not but
5:41:22a wave of emotion crashed over me and I
5:41:25had to roll my lips in and blink fast to
5:41:28hold it
5:41:29back there was something about his
5:41:31casual confirmation of my
5:41:33sanity my
5:41:35normaly that healed a tiny little piece
5:41:38of
5:41:39me probably the piece that had never
5:41:42discussed my mother with anyone other
5:41:43than my
5:41:44dad well thanks
5:41:47Bennett I smiled and put my feet up on
5:41:50the edge of the fire
5:41:52pit the other thing that's messing with
5:41:55me is that Helena and my dad keep trying
5:41:58to insert Helena into every one of these
5:42:00things where my mom is supposed to
5:42:03be I feel like the bad guy because I
5:42:05don't want Helen there
5:42:08I don't need a fill
5:42:10in that's
5:42:13tough
5:42:15right but at least Helena is super
5:42:18cool I mean it would be worse if your
5:42:21stepmom was a total nightmare wouldn't
5:42:24it I wondered that all the
5:42:27time
5:42:29maybe but sometimes I think her coolness
5:42:32makes it
5:42:34harder no one would understand why I
5:42:36feel this way when someone so cool is
5:42:38right
5:42:39here well can't you include her and just
5:42:44not replace your
5:42:46mom it seems to me that you can still
5:42:48hold on to your memories even if Helena
5:42:51is with you
5:42:54right it's not that
5:42:56easy I wished it
5:42:58was but I didn't think there was room
5:43:01for both of them if Helena went dress
5:43:04shopping with me and we had a great time
5:43:07that memory would be stamped forever and
5:43:10my mother would have no part in
5:43:12it do you want a
5:43:15cigar that stopped my train of
5:43:18thought
5:43:19what I saw the upward movement of his
5:43:22lips in the dark before he said I was
5:43:25about to enjoy a swisser sweet out here
5:43:28before you showed
5:43:29up that made me laugh immature Wes
5:43:34enjoying a gas station variety of cigar
5:43:36in his backyard like some kind of grown
5:43:39ass
5:43:40man oh
5:43:44classy I'm nothing if not
5:43:46sophisticated in fact it's cherry
5:43:49flavored oh well if it's Cherry I'm
5:43:53totally in really no not really I rolled
5:43:58my eyes at his total
5:44:00Wess I just don't think I'd appreciate
5:44:03the cherry flavored Death Stick but
5:44:06thanks for the offer
5:44:08I knew that would be your answer no you
5:44:11did not I thought you'd say cancer stick
5:44:14but the rest I got right I tilted my
5:44:18head I'm that
5:44:21predictable he just cocked an
5:44:24eyebrow fine I held out my
5:44:27palm hand over one of your elegant
5:44:31cherry flavored sticks of disgustingness
5:44:33so I can set it on fire and suck its
5:44:35death smoke into my lungs
5:44:38he raised his eyebrows in
5:44:40Surprise
5:44:42seriously I
5:44:44Shrugged why
5:44:46not you should write ad copy for the
5:44:48Swisher people by the way how do you
5:44:51know I don't well if you did you would
5:44:54know that you don't inhale
5:44:56cigars you don't
5:44:59nope so you just take a pull and hold it
5:45:03in your cheeks like a bloated
5:45:05chipmunk you definitely do not you just
5:45:10inhale less than a
5:45:11cigarette are you like a hardcore smoker
5:45:14or something
5:45:16no well it seems to me like if you're
5:45:19lighting up out here all by yourself
5:45:21after a long hard day you maybe have a
5:45:25problem come here he patted the chair
5:45:29beside him ew no I said it
5:45:33teasingly feeling somehow busted since I
5:45:37thought about moving closer to him
5:45:39earlier relax I was just going to light
5:45:42your flaming nasty stick for
5:45:44you oh I stood and moved to the chair
5:45:48beside
5:45:49him my
5:45:51bad that's the first time you've ever
5:45:53said that isn't
5:45:54it I think
5:45:57so he chuckled and opened the
5:46:00package I wasn't sure why I was doing
5:46:02this especially with Wes Bennett but I
5:46:05knew I wasn't ready to go
5:46:07inside I was kind of having
5:46:10fun have you ever
5:46:12smoked
5:46:14yes
5:46:16seriously Wes put one of the cigars in
5:46:18his mouth and flicked the lighter I
5:46:21smoked with Jos at a party last summer
5:46:24he grinned and puffed as the Swisher
5:46:27lit I would have loved to witness that
5:46:30little Libby L coughing her lungs out
5:46:33while Joselyn probably laughed and blew
5:46:35perfect smoke rings
5:46:38you're not that far off Joselyn was
5:46:41nauseatingly good at everything I'd
5:46:44never seen her fail at anything not back
5:46:47in the day and definitely not since we'd
5:46:50become
5:46:51friends if I were honest and I'd never
5:46:54say it out loud it bugged the out
5:46:58of me not that she was good at things I
5:47:01could handle that it was more that she
5:47:04was good at things Without Really Trying
5:47:06or caring about them she breeed through
5:47:10life never seeming to stumble like I did
5:47:14on an hourly
5:47:16basis here he handed me the cigar and
5:47:20lit the other one I took it and leaned
5:47:23back in my chair casually stretching out
5:47:26my legs and looking up at the
5:47:28stars it felt important to lean into the
5:47:31cigar
5:47:32attitude I took a drag the Cherry was
5:47:36nice
5:47:37and the thing wasn't quite as nasty as a
5:47:40cigarette but it still tasted like
5:47:43butt Wes was watching me with a half
5:47:46grin on his face which made me say as
5:47:49smoke poured out of my
5:47:51mouth it sure feels good to be back in
5:47:54flavor
5:47:55country he started
5:47:58cackling I
5:47:59added love me a good
5:48:03stogy that sent him over it was
5:48:06impossible not to join him as he laughed
5:48:08with his head all the way back when he
5:48:11finally stopped he took a puff and said
5:48:15you can put it out bubel oh thank God I
5:48:19put out the cigar carefully stubbing it
5:48:22out against the edge of the fire
5:48:24pit that was a super relaxing 10 seconds
5:48:27though really helped me wind
5:48:30down
5:48:33uh-huh by the way I heard that Alex
5:48:36bendetti has a crush on you I'd
5:48:39overheard that in chemistry and my
5:48:42initial response had been that they
5:48:43could be a good match they were both
5:48:45attractive athletes so surely they were
5:48:48meant to be right I pictured Alex
5:48:51hanging out here with Wes instead of me
5:48:54and I didn't like
5:48:56it I'd started looking forward to our
5:48:58weird
5:48:59camaraderie and even though I was
5:49:01struggling to accept it I kind of
5:49:03thought he was a nice
5:49:05person he puffed on his cigar his face
5:49:10unchanged I heard that
5:49:13too
5:49:15and she's
5:49:17cute he dipped his
5:49:21head yeah I
5:49:23suppose she's just not really my
5:49:25type what why not Alex was a stunning
5:49:30cheerleader with a thousand friends the
5:49:33kind of girl I assumed guys like him
5:49:35tended to drool over
5:49:37in addition to that she was genuinely
5:49:39nice and really smart like I heard she
5:49:43wanted to be a dentist level of
5:49:46smart I don't
5:49:47know Alex is great
5:49:50but he looked at me and Shrugged like
5:49:54that explained
5:49:55everything I grabbed the hair tie from
5:49:58my wrist and pulled back my hair I felt
5:50:01like I owed Wes since he'd spent so much
5:50:03time helping me with Michael yes there
5:50:06was still a shot of him winning the spot
5:50:09but something about the night air in the
5:50:11secret area made me want to do something
5:50:14nice for
5:50:15him I know chemistry plays a big part in
5:50:18attraction but she is
5:50:20gorgeous I can't believe you aren't
5:50:22jumping at that
5:50:24chance she is
5:50:26gorgeous he flicked Ash off the end of
5:50:29his cigar and gave me the kind of eye
5:50:32contact that forced you to
5:50:34listen but like
5:50:37what does that mean really unless my
5:50:40goal is to just sit and stare at her
5:50:42like someone would stare at an ocean or
5:50:44a mountain
5:50:46range pretty is just a
5:50:49visual I widened my eyes and covered my
5:50:52mouth with both
5:50:53hands oh dear lord tell me more
5:50:57Wesley shut it he flipped me off with
5:51:01his free hand and said I'm just saying
5:51:05that I like a girl who can make me laugh
5:51:08that's
5:51:08all someone I have fun with no matter
5:51:11what we're
5:51:12doing I sat back in my chair and crossed
5:51:16my arms over my chest tilted my head
5:51:19furrowed my eyebrows and
5:51:22said don't take this the wrong
5:51:24way but you're different than I always
5:51:27thought you
5:51:28were his eyes were twinkly warm as he
5:51:32said you're shocked I grew out of the
5:51:35gnome decapitation phase aren't
5:51:38you kind of I giggled and shook my
5:51:42head but I also thought that you would
5:51:45jump at the chance
5:51:47to
5:51:49um to hit
5:51:51it that made him smirk and look at me
5:51:54with one of his dark eyebrows
5:51:57raised that is disgusting BS
5:52:01bom
5:52:03right is that the first time you've ever
5:52:05said those words
5:52:07I just laughed and nodded which made him
5:52:10big
5:52:11laugh we sat out there after that just
5:52:14talking about nothing until he finished
5:52:17his
5:52:18swisser are you going to have another
5:52:20one I asked he tossed the butt into the
5:52:24fire and stood grabbing a big stick and
5:52:27messing with the
5:52:28wood why you want one God no I lifted my
5:52:34hair to my nose and said
5:52:37those things make my hair smell like a
5:52:39dumpster he propped the stick next to
5:52:41the fire pit and picked up the bucket
5:52:43sitting behind his
5:52:45chair I actually have early lifting
5:52:48tomorrow so I should probably shut this
5:52:50down if you're ready to go
5:52:52in there was something about how soft
5:52:54his face was at that moment calm and
5:52:57happy and licked by Fire Glow that made
5:53:01me feel lucky I'd discovered who he'd
5:53:04grown into
5:53:07yeah I'm
5:53:08ready he dipped the bucket into the pond
5:53:11and poured it on the fire sending up a
5:53:14cloud of
5:53:15smoke as we walked out of the secret
5:53:17area and into his backyard he said he'd
5:53:21text me when Michael told him what time
5:53:23the movie night was
5:53:24happening I went to bed feeling happy
5:53:28even though I wasn't entirely sure about
5:53:30what or rather
5:53:33who I lay there kind kind of thrumming
5:53:38relaxed until the smell of smoke in my
5:53:40hair drove me so crazy I had to take a
5:53:43midnight shower and change my
5:53:45pillowcase then I went to bed
5:53:52happy chapter
5:53:56n love is patient love is kind love
5:54:01means slowly losing your
5:54:04mind 27 Dresses
5:54:08hey kiddo Helena looked over at me from
5:54:11the doorway that led to the kitchen as I
5:54:13practiced piano in the living room I
5:54:16liked playing in the morning and I liked
5:54:19playing in my fancy flowered pajamas
5:54:21with the matching silk slippers it made
5:54:24practicing Feel Like An Elegant Pastime
5:54:27like I was an Ur while Austin character
5:54:29honing one of the skills that would make
5:54:31me a fearsome thing to
5:54:34behold you hungry want me to toast you a
5:54:37poptart or something no thanks I tried
5:54:41to keep playing while I talked to her
5:54:43but I'd never been able to pull off that
5:54:45particular skill if I practiced for more
5:54:48than an hour or two a week like my
5:54:50mother used to it probably wouldn't seem
5:54:53so difficult she'd played every single
5:54:56day and it had showed I had a banana
5:55:00already got it she turned to walk back
5:55:03into the kitchen and I forced myself to
5:55:06do it I said Helena wait she tilted her
5:55:12head
5:55:14yeah I know it's last minute I blurted
5:55:17out stealing myself against the feelings
5:55:20as I extended the
5:55:22invitation but um Joselyn just texted me
5:55:26and said her mom can take us prom dress
5:55:27shopping later this morning since it's a
5:55:30teacher in service
5:55:31day do you want to
5:55:34come Helena lifted her chin and lowered
5:55:37her brows tucking her hair behind her
5:55:41ears that
5:55:43depends how come you're
5:55:45asking um because I thought you might
5:55:49want to
5:55:51come her look told me that she knew
5:55:54better your dad didn't tell you to do
5:55:58this part of me felt like being honest
5:56:01but instead I said no was he supposed to
5:56:06or
5:56:07something she blinked and looked at me
5:56:09for another second and then her face
5:56:12transformed into
5:56:14happiness I would love to come honey oh
5:56:18my God I think we should hit Starbucks
5:56:20first where we can guess people's coffee
5:56:22orders by their outfits then we can do
5:56:24the dress thing and maybe land at
5:56:26Eastman's for some lunch that includes
5:56:28that hot lava dessert which is
5:56:30supposedly to die for although I
5:56:32seriously doubt any food is to die for I
5:56:35mean I'm obsessed with Caramelo bars but
5:56:38I would certainly never give my life for
5:56:41one she was being her usual rambling
5:56:44sarcastic self but I felt like I'd made
5:56:47her really really
5:56:49happy what about ice cream I reached
5:56:53over with my right hand and tinkled out
5:56:55an ice cream truckish tune glad I'd
5:56:58asked her perhaps this would be good for
5:57:01us that could be considered to die for
5:57:04it's not even a solid
5:57:07if I'm going down for a food it's not
5:57:08going to be a food that's hovering
5:57:10somewhere between two chemical
5:57:12States good point I stopped
5:57:16playing do we even discuss your beloved
5:57:19banana
5:57:20bread it's worthy of fonus thievery
5:57:23maybe but not death I would steal it
5:57:27from the president himself but I
5:57:29wouldn't just lay down my life for its
5:57:30delicious moistness either but wouldn't
5:57:33stealing from the president get you
5:57:34killed by the Secret Service and
5:57:36therefore be the same thing well I'm not
5:57:39going to get caught of course of course
5:57:42indeed I went upstairs and got ready and
5:57:46by the time I was done Helena was
5:57:48waiting for me in the living room she
5:57:50was wearing a boss leather jacket
5:57:52that looked perfect with her jeans and I
5:57:55once again marveled at the fact that she
5:57:57was my dad's
5:57:58age you ready to do this I'm thinking we
5:58:02buy a joke dress just to freak your dad
5:58:04out like we get get you a stunning gown
5:58:07but we also get a trashy little number
5:58:09that gives him a
5:58:11coronary do you really want to have to
5:58:13nurse him back to health after his
5:58:15triple
5:58:16bypass good point he's a total baby when
5:58:19he doesn't feel good she grabbed her
5:58:21keys and tucked her phone into her
5:58:23pocket I'll just text him a pic to give
5:58:25him a tiny
5:58:26scare I followed Helena out to the
5:58:29garage and got into her car she had a
5:58:32matte black challenger which was a brute
5:58:34of a car that rumbled so loud you
5:58:37couldn't hear the radio unless it was
5:58:38cranked a guy at the auto parts store
5:58:40asked her about it once about why she
5:58:43wanted to drive a car that was clearly
5:58:44meant for a man and probably too much
5:58:47horsepower for her to handle and I'll
5:58:49never forget her
5:58:51answer it was true love Ted I looked
5:58:55over saw this guy and I totally lost my
5:58:59mind I know he's loud and in your face
5:59:02but whenever I look at him I feel a
5:59:05little weak need
5:59:06and when I drive him forget about it
5:59:10he's fast and wild and a little unruly
5:59:13and I can feel his throaty rumbles all
5:59:16through my body when I bury that gas
5:59:19pedal that Beast has forever ruined me
5:59:22for all other
5:59:24vehicles Ted at Nappa lost the ability
5:59:27to speak while Helena beamed at him like
5:59:30she had no idea what she'd done she'd
5:59:33wielded her power like a goddess and
5:59:36regardless of my complicated feelings
5:59:38about her and her place in my life I had
5:59:41mad respect for
5:59:44that pumpkin spice latte seriously
5:59:48that's your guess I rolled my eyes and
5:59:51took a sip of my Frappuccino it's like
5:59:53you aren't even trying think Helena it's
5:59:58April Starbucks doesn't even offer that
6:00:00drink in April you think I don't know
6:00:03that her lips barely moved as she
6:00:06watched the girl step up to the register
6:00:08the orderer in question was young
6:00:10probably a freshman and she was dressed
6:00:12like a gap model she's a baby so she
6:00:15doesn't know the rules she only knows
6:00:17that her older sister let her try one
6:00:19once and it was
6:00:21amazing I giggled the girl opened her
6:00:25mouth and said could I please get a
6:00:28gingerbread latte to which the Barista
6:00:32responded with I'm sorry but that's a
6:00:35seasonal drink I looked at Helena with a
6:00:39wide open o mouth you were so
6:00:43close not my first radio kid she
6:00:46Shrugged and took a sip of her espresso
6:00:49you've got messenger bag over there
6:00:51don't disappoint me I looked at the guy
6:00:54with the messenger bag who was staring
6:00:56down at his phone his bag was total
6:00:59butter rich leather worn to perfection
6:01:02in the way that only expensive bags
6:01:04could be worn his his tortoise shell
6:01:06glasses made him look smart but also
6:01:08stylish and his watch band was perfectly
6:01:11coordinated with his belt and
6:01:13shoes ventti iced Americano with soy
6:01:16milk I leaned back on my stool and
6:01:19crossed my arms he's embracing Spring by
6:01:21selecting a cold beverage but he can't
6:01:24let go of the strong seriousness of the
6:01:26Americano
6:01:27bite that is excellent my
6:01:31people messenger bag looked at the
6:01:33Barista and said yeah I just need an
6:01:36iced dark
6:01:38roast oh so close I muttered pulling my
6:01:43phone out of my dress pocket and
6:01:44checking for messages there was no
6:01:47reason to think Wes would text me but
6:01:49after hanging out last night and having
6:01:51such a good time it felt like a
6:01:54possibility and can I get a splash of
6:01:57soy please boom Helena slapped the table
6:02:01that's pretty freaking close Liz we're
6:02:03on fire today she nodded and said
6:02:08speaking of fire what's up with
6:02:11Wes what does he have to do with fire
6:02:15she
6:02:16Shrugged nothing I'm too impatient to
6:02:19wait for a good
6:02:20segue oh I cleared my throat and watched
6:02:24as messenger bag took his coffee and
6:02:26joined a table of three other messenger
6:02:28bags um nothing is really up with Wes
6:02:33are you sure because you spent at least
6:02:36an hour outside with him last
6:02:38night my eyes shot to hers but instead
6:02:42of looking pissed she gave me a gotcha
6:02:45smile don't worry it was purely by
6:02:48accident that I know I happened to be
6:02:51looking out the window at the exact
6:02:52moment that you shot across the backyard
6:02:55like your butt was on fire and climbed
6:02:56his
6:02:57fence does my dad know why would I wake
6:03:00him up when you were just going outside
6:03:02to look at the
6:03:04stars I Shrugged and bit down on my
6:03:07smile as much as I didn't want to fall
6:03:10under the she so cool spell that
6:03:12everyone who met Helena seemed to fall
6:03:15under sometimes she really could be
6:03:18unbelievably
6:03:20cool I don't
6:03:22know thanks for not telling
6:03:25him it was nothing but I feel like it'
6:03:29be a big deal to him oh it definitely
6:03:32would be she lifted her cup and toyed
6:03:36with the
6:03:37lid he trusts you though we both
6:03:41do I know I crossed my legs and traced
6:03:46one of the grooves on my tights with my
6:03:48finger and Wes and I are just friends
6:03:51for the record he's kind of helping me
6:03:54with
6:03:55something what she swung her leg back
6:03:58and forth over the side of her
6:04:00stool last I heard you two were battling
6:04:03over that parking spot now all of a
6:04:06sudden you're friends and he's providing
6:04:09helpful assistance how in the Frack did
6:04:11that
6:04:13happen it's kind of
6:04:15complicated I'd expect nothing
6:04:18less she looked through the opening in
6:04:20her lid before swirling her cup
6:04:23around but you have to be a little
6:04:25attracted to us I mean not only is the
6:04:28guy pretty and muscular but he's also
6:04:31hilarious like if I was a teenager I
6:04:35would really go for that
6:04:37one before I had a chance to utter a
6:04:39sound she interrupted herself with oh
6:04:42good God please scratch that from the
6:04:43record I sound like one of those
6:04:45teachers who sends pictures of her bits
6:04:47to her students you do know I didn't
6:04:50mean it like that
6:04:52right that made me
6:04:55smile of course I find Wes adorable in
6:04:59the way that one finds a puppy with huge
6:05:01Paws adorable settle down I know
6:05:05oh thank
6:05:06God and I agree until recently I hadn't
6:05:11really noticed
6:05:12Wes but now that I've spent time with
6:05:15him I can totally see why a girl might
6:05:18be into him his shoulders right they're
6:05:21wildly
6:05:22broad I
6:05:24squinted they are you hadn't
6:05:28noticed not really but that's not the
6:05:31point what I was going to say was that I
6:05:35can see how a girl would get into him
6:05:37because he's kind of thoughtful for
6:05:40a how would I even categorize Wes
6:05:43anymore my previous labels didn't seem
6:05:46to
6:05:47fit for
6:05:50Wes I pictured him at Rhino's party
6:05:53saving me from certain humiliation by
6:05:55holding up the pants he'd loaned
6:05:58me holy God Wes Bennett was kind of a
6:06:02catch wasn't he he listened well made
6:06:06late night phone calls built beautiful
6:06:08fire pits that belonged in lifestyle
6:06:11magazines Wes was a little bit
6:06:15dreamy but not for
6:06:17you
6:06:19no no matter what I was learning about
6:06:21Wes any real relationship with him would
6:06:24end in sure disaster and as if I needed
6:06:28to convince
6:06:29myself just like that I wanted to tell
6:06:32her everything
6:06:35so here's what's happening but this is
6:06:38top secret okay like even Joselyn
6:06:40doesn't know oh my God I love being the
6:06:43one in the no she beamed and leaned a
6:06:45little
6:06:46closer tell me everything you sneaky
6:06:48little
6:06:50tart and I did I told her about Michael
6:06:54and she made a heart fluttering gesture
6:06:56when I described him and his unexpected
6:06:58reemergence in my life though I left off
6:07:02the connection to my mom I told her
6:07:05about Wess is in my plan and she laughed
6:07:08and called me an evil genius she cried
6:07:11actual tears when I described getting
6:07:13vomited on and she snorted while crying
6:07:16when I added the details of the Nose
6:07:18meets basketball accident to the story
6:07:22she was wiping at her eyes when she said
6:07:25oh my God it's like fate is trying its
6:07:28hardest to keep you away from
6:07:31him
6:07:32what it wasn't like that what is it
6:07:37those were just unfortunate
6:07:39coincidences every time you get close to
6:07:41having a moment with Michael it sounds
6:07:43like the universe breaks it up with a
6:07:45ball to the face or a puke to the
6:07:47outfit I think the universe likes Wes
6:07:51better I'm pretty sure I looked at her
6:07:53as if she had a snake crawling out of
6:07:55her
6:07:56mouth no it
6:07:58doesn't those things were freak
6:08:00accidents if anything I'd say bad luck
6:08:03just follows in Wes's wake
6:08:06me being near him was probably what fate
6:08:08was pissed
6:08:09about her eyebrows went
6:08:12up okay Liz whatever you
6:08:16say the universe likes Wes
6:08:20better my brain was Fried by that single
6:08:23solitary sentence as we went out to her
6:08:25car and drove to the shopping
6:08:28center did the universe like West
6:08:33better I'm going to be second
6:08:36I shook my head and stared as Joselyn
6:08:38looked at her reflection in the mirror
6:08:40she was wearing an orange floorlength
6:08:42gown and she looked more like someone on
6:08:45the red carpet at the Oscars than a high
6:08:47school student trying on a prom dress
6:08:50does anything look bad on you Joss's mom
6:08:54barked it's too grownup take it off her
6:08:58mother was one of those nice but
6:08:59intimidating parents she'd always been
6:09:02super sweet to me but when she was mad
6:09:04at Jos it made me nervous she was Tiny
6:09:09barely over 5T but every inch of her was
6:09:12in
6:09:13charge she was an attorney and I'd
6:09:15always assumed she was amazing at her
6:09:18job because I'd yet to see Jos ever win
6:09:20an argument with her Joselyn rolled her
6:09:24eyes and muttered something about
6:09:25shaking her mom until the woman's hair
6:09:27fell out of its bun which made me giggle
6:09:30but also think about the way Wes was
6:09:33always messing up my hair it was super
6:09:36annoying but something about it made me
6:09:39smile every
6:09:40time I cleared my throat and frowned
6:09:43just to make sure I wasn't creepily
6:09:45grinning into
6:09:46space that could ruin
6:09:49everything because so far Jos and I were
6:09:52having fun like a normal shopping trip
6:09:55her irritation with my reticence on
6:09:57senior activities and my irritation with
6:10:00her badgering had yet to rear their ugly
6:10:03heads it was great
6:10:05and I didn't want my boy drama lies to
6:10:08mess it up we were at our third store
6:10:11and it was going the same way that it
6:10:13had gone at every stop I tried on a
6:10:15handful of dresses that were a Soo and
6:10:18every dress that Joselyn slid into
6:10:20looked amazing she was having a hard
6:10:23time narrowing it down to one and I was
6:10:26having a hard time finding even
6:10:28one it's not that I look good it's that
6:10:32I'm trying on great
6:10:34dresses jelyn looked at me in the mirror
6:10:37you on the other hand keep trying on
6:10:40retr floral things that don't even look
6:10:42like prom dresses I know you've got your
6:10:44whole romantic Vibe thing but try on a
6:10:47damn floorlength gown that is considered
6:10:49a prom dress for the love of
6:10:51God she's
6:10:53rightless Helen was eating a corn dog
6:10:56she'd bought in the mall while she sat
6:10:57on a chair and watched us try on dresses
6:11:01just grab a stack and get rolling step
6:11:04outside of your comfort Zone joselyn's
6:11:07mother said giving me a maternal smile
6:11:09and a reassuring nod then she barked at
6:11:12Joss that one is too tight and the
6:11:15cleavage is too much on to the
6:11:17next I glanced at the racks and didn't
6:11:20feel like any more
6:11:22searching uh here wait Joselyn held up a
6:11:27finger go to the dressing room and wait
6:11:29for me I'm going to bring 10 dresses for
6:11:31you to try on just trust me but you
6:11:34don't don't trust
6:11:36me I sighed and strolled back to the
6:11:39fitting rooms already so done with the
6:11:42dress shopping I popped down on the
6:11:44bench and felt my phone buzz when I sat
6:11:47I pulled it out and saw a message from
6:11:50Wes
6:11:51Wes what happened to your
6:11:54car the minute I saw that the text was
6:11:57from Wes I felt
6:12:00something something good and equally
6:12:03confusing that I chocked up being
6:12:05related to Michael he could have been
6:12:07texting about Michael that had to be the
6:12:10reason for my
6:12:11reaction his question cracked me up
6:12:14because of course Wes would notice my
6:12:17dad the man whose name was on the title
6:12:19hadn't noticed the damage I'd done when
6:12:21I'd scraped the car against the side of
6:12:23the drive-through post the day before
6:12:26but Wes Bennett had me keep your mouth
6:12:30shut if you know what's good for you Wes
6:12:33are you threatening me
6:12:35me only if you broach the topic of my
6:12:38car
6:12:39again
6:12:40Wes
6:12:42so
6:12:44um nice weather out today eh what you
6:12:48doing me prom dress shopping it's awful
6:12:54Wes worse than shopping with
6:12:57me I thought about that for a
6:13:00second actually yes at least you were in
6:13:03a hurry these these ladies are all about
6:13:06stretching it out and I kind of want to
6:13:08make a run for it I think I could belly
6:13:11crawl out of this dressing room
6:13:13undetected Wes who are you going to prom
6:13:17with I thought the goal was
6:13:19Michael my brain produced an image of
6:13:22Wes in a tuxedo and I quickly cleared it
6:13:25Michael was the
6:13:27goal okay Joselyn appeared in the
6:13:30doorway with an arm full of dresses
6:13:33promise me you will try on all of these
6:13:36even if they don't look like something
6:13:37you'd normally go for just humor me and
6:13:39try them on for us
6:13:42deal I set my phone on the
6:13:44bench deal she furrowed her eyebrows
6:13:48together who were you
6:13:51texting I furrowed my eyebrows right
6:13:53back at
6:13:54her why
6:13:57seriously I Shrugged and felt like I'd
6:14:00been busted looking at dirty
6:14:03pictures Wes okay he texted me about the
6:14:07paint on the side of my
6:14:09car Joselyn knew about the paint because
6:14:11I texted her when I hit the pole so she
6:14:14wasn't phased by that Revelation but her
6:14:17face lit up and she said you and Wes
6:14:21text each other
6:14:23now not really I cleared my throat and
6:14:27tried to remember what I told her before
6:14:29the basketball
6:14:30outing it's just been a couple times and
6:14:33it's totally casual
6:14:35yeah right you aren't fooling me by the
6:14:39way she hung the dresses on a hook and
6:14:42put her hands on her hips even though
6:14:45you're acting all cool you like like Wes
6:14:48Bennett I do not I didn't my emotional
6:14:53responses to Wes were all about his
6:14:55connection to my mother and the fact
6:14:57that we were partners in crime that was
6:15:01it oh yes you do you've been daydreaming
6:15:04all day long every time you've tried on
6:15:06a
6:15:07dress her eyes narrowed and she said oh
6:15:12my God you better not ditch me for Wes
6:15:15shut up my stomach got tight when she
6:15:18gave me that little preview of just how
6:15:20unhappy she'd be if Michael asked me to
6:15:22prom I'm not ditching you for Wes but I
6:15:26might do it for
6:15:27Michael God I was a garbage
6:15:30friend well you have some boy on the
6:15:33mind and if it isn't dear Wesley then
6:15:36who is
6:15:37it part of me wanted to come clean and
6:15:40just tell her who cared if she thought
6:15:43my plan was a bad
6:15:45idea perhaps it was
6:15:47time but just as that thought was firing
6:15:49up I heard Helena and Joss's mother
6:15:52laughing out by the big
6:15:54mirror they sounded like two
6:15:56moms happily waiting on their daughters
6:16:00and that brought all of my screwed up
6:16:02emotions rushing
6:16:03back nope
6:16:05I just couldn't find the fortitude for a
6:16:08disagreement not there in the fitting
6:16:10room at Ralph's department
6:16:11store it wouldn't be so bad to double
6:16:14down on the west thing would it I mean
6:16:17technically he was the one who'd been on
6:16:20my mind all
6:16:21day it was totally within the realm of
6:16:23believability that I had a tiny crush on
6:16:26Wes that would ultimately not pan out
6:16:30right I dragged a hand through my hair
6:16:35I'm still trying to figure it out okay I
6:16:38totally have fun when I'm with Wes but
6:16:41he's also not my type and what do you
6:16:43mean not your type because he's not some
6:16:46character who writes poetry and knows
6:16:48what your favorite flower
6:16:49is I hated when she did that when she
6:16:53reduced me to a Lovick airheaded
6:16:55child I said it doesn't even matter
6:16:59because we're just talking
6:17:01okay okay she gave me me a funny grin
6:17:06and the emotional roller coaster I'd
6:17:08just enjoyed a 3-minute ride on went
6:17:12undetected my money's on Bennett though
6:17:15if anyone can slip in and shake up your
6:17:17romantic Notions it's
6:17:19Wes I rolled my eyes and remembered what
6:17:23Helena had said
6:17:24earlier I think you're making this way
6:17:27more of a thing than it
6:17:29is we'll see now try on the dresses she
6:17:33slammed the door behind her
6:17:35and I pushed the lock
6:17:37over before I started in on the dresses
6:17:40I grabbed my phone and replied to the
6:17:42previous text knowing my response was a
6:17:45lie
6:17:47me Joselyn and I had planned on going
6:17:49together but I'm sure she'll understand
6:17:52if I get asked by someone I care about
6:17:55just putting it into the universe could
6:17:56make it true right I pulled on the First
6:17:59dress a long red sparkly thing that
6:18:02could probably be seen from space and
6:18:05giggled at my reflection I looked like a
6:18:08pageant contestant who'd lost her makeup
6:18:10bag and hair supplies from the shoulders
6:18:13down good from the shoulders up not so
6:18:17much my red hair totally clashed with
6:18:20the
6:18:21dress I went out to the three-way mirror
6:18:23anyway and spun for my fans who agreed
6:18:27but the style is so much better than the
6:18:30ones you tried earlier Helena put her
6:18:32hands together like she was praying
6:18:35Praise Jesus I feel like we're getting
6:18:38close when I got back to the fitting
6:18:41room I glanced at my phone before
6:18:43changing Wes why don't you like dress
6:18:46shopping that seems like your
6:18:49jam I unzipped the dress and shimmed out
6:18:52of it while
6:18:53texting
6:18:54me my preferences don't exactly match up
6:18:57with prom Trends and the people I'm with
6:19:00don't care Wes ah you want flowers
6:19:06pockets and old lady Ruffles and they
6:19:08want you to wear something
6:19:10hot why did his take on most things even
6:19:14when he was mocking me make me
6:19:16laugh I smiled and reached for The black
6:19:19gown it was short in the front and long
6:19:22in the back with a top that tied behind
6:19:24the neck I was about to step into it
6:19:27when my phone
6:19:28buzzed Wes don't forget that white is
6:19:32your color
6:19:33girl okay
6:19:35that made me laugh out loud I glanced at
6:19:38the dresses and there was a white one in
6:19:41there I dropped the black one and
6:19:43reached for it and
6:19:46wow it was
6:19:48actually
6:19:50wonderful it was strapless with a simple
6:19:53silk bodice that tapered into a white
6:19:55beaded belt and a long full floorlength
6:19:59skirt it was stunning in that 75% of the
6:20:02dress was simple and understated
6:20:05and then along the bottom there was a
6:20:07burst of colorful flowers I pulled it on
6:20:10sucking everything in as I slid the side
6:20:12zipper into place and when I looked at
6:20:15my
6:20:16reflection I grabbed my
6:20:19phone you might be right Bennett the
6:20:22only dress I've liked so far is White
6:20:24WTF is with you nailing my
6:20:27fashion I lifted my hair and turned
6:20:30sideways to see the
6:20:31back it was really a glorious dress
6:20:35and when I ran my hands down the sides I
6:20:38found
6:20:39Pockets
6:20:41Wes why do you ever doubt me me good
6:20:46judgment
6:20:48experience Wes pick
6:20:51please what I said it to myself and a
6:20:55nervous snort came out of me even as I
6:20:58thought about the best ankle God why was
6:21:01I thinking that when it was Wes asking I
6:21:04muttered a stream of obscenities
6:21:07under my breath before finally
6:21:11responding
6:21:12with um that's a big no
6:21:16Wes okay then send me a pick of
6:21:18something else just so I feel
6:21:21included I looked around the fitting
6:21:23room for something funny to send him and
6:21:26then I thought what the hell I took a
6:21:29picture of the gown in the mirror and
6:21:30texted it to
6:21:31him had I really just done that
6:21:35had I really just sent Wes Bennett a
6:21:37motherloving prom dress
6:21:39selfie holy
6:21:42Liz do you have a dress on Joselyn
6:21:46was yelling from her spot in the gallery
6:21:49you need to let us see because even
6:21:51though they're not your style one of
6:21:53those will work dang it I dropped my
6:21:56phone and went out to the big mirror
6:21:59like it was Say Yes to the Dress or
6:22:01something Joselyn and Helena both gasped
6:22:04and CED covered their mouths with their
6:22:05hands when I stepped in front of them
6:22:08joselyn's mom just
6:22:10smiled that dress Was Made For You
6:22:13Joselyn crossed her arms please don't
6:22:16tell me that you hate it you can't you
6:22:18look incredible Helena was on her feet
6:22:22smiling like she was about to get
6:22:25teed do you like
6:22:27it I
6:22:29Shrugged it has pockets and
6:22:33flowers I pretty much have to get it
6:22:36right I looked at my reflection in the
6:22:38mirror and knew I just
6:22:41knew that my mother would have loved
6:22:44that
6:22:44dress she would have picked out that
6:22:47dress for
6:22:48me heck she would have worn that dress
6:22:50herself if she'd had a reason to go
6:22:53formal maybe she couldn't be there
6:22:55shopping with me but finding that dress
6:22:59was something
6:23:00right oh Libby I can't wait for your dad
6:23:04to see you in
6:23:05this Helena's head was tilted to the
6:23:08side and she was
6:23:10smiling maybe her words were like a
6:23:12bucket of cold water jolting me back to
6:23:15the momless
6:23:16present because what Helena had just
6:23:18said was exactly what my mother would
6:23:20have said if she'd been there in fact I
6:23:23could perfectly hear her lilting voice
6:23:25saying those
6:23:26words but Helena wasn't my mom even if
6:23:30she suddenly called me Libby like she
6:23:33was I crossed my arms over my chest and
6:23:36needed to be out of that dress stat I'm
6:23:39going to go change aren't you excited
6:23:43she gave me a smartass excited look and
6:23:45a fake fist pump that probably would
6:23:47have cracked me up an hour ago you found
6:23:50your
6:23:51dress
6:23:53sure I watched her smile falter but I
6:23:57couldn't stop
6:23:58myself some part of me believed that if
6:24:00I didn't push back she was going to
6:24:03erase the fact that my mother had ever
6:24:06existed I thought about the whole day
6:24:08Helena had
6:24:09planned I just wanted to be
6:24:12alone I'm not hungry by the way so can
6:24:16we just go home after
6:24:18this Helena glanced at Jocelyn and her
6:24:20mom who were thankfully talking to each
6:24:23other and not paying attention to us
6:24:25before she
6:24:26said sure if that's what you
6:24:31want after I changed instead of joining
6:24:34the others by the big mirror I took the
6:24:37dress to the counter and paid before
6:24:39Helena had the chance when I joined the
6:24:42group with my dress already bagged up
6:24:43and hanging over my arm they all looked
6:24:47confused you already bought it Jocelyn's
6:24:51eyes were big as she put the strap of
6:24:53her cross body bag over her shoulder and
6:24:55muttered
6:24:57sarcastically yeah that's not a weird
6:24:59thing to do at
6:25:01all I held up the dress and pretended
6:25:04everything was fine I even
6:25:07smiled since we have to go back to the
6:25:09last store and get yours I thought I'd
6:25:11speed things up she gave me a look that
6:25:14told me she knew what I was up
6:25:16to good thinking
6:25:19Liz an awkward Vibe hung over the four
6:25:22of us as we fake happy conversed and
6:25:25walked toward the exit Joselyn and her
6:25:28mother knew what was up Helena knew what
6:25:30was up and also knew that the others
6:25:33knew what was up
6:25:35so we all just did our best to pretend I
6:25:37hadn't screwed up the entire
6:25:39day after buckling into the car I put in
6:25:43my earbuds and quickly queued up a song
6:25:45before Helena could bring up what had
6:25:48happened then I noticed the message on
6:25:50my
6:25:51phone
6:25:52Wes buy that dress I'm begging
6:25:56you my stomach
6:25:58flipped I could hear those words being
6:26:01spoken in his deep
6:26:03voice still it was Wes surely he didn't
6:26:07mean it the way it
6:26:08seemed I faltered over my response
6:26:11staring down at the phone in my hand as
6:26:14visions of Wes Bennett danced in my head
6:26:18I started writing more than one cool
6:26:20response but then I just gave in to my
6:26:22pathetic
6:26:23needs
6:26:25me you like
6:26:27it the bubbles appeared like he was
6:26:29typing but after a few minutes they
6:26:32disappeared I waited and they finally
6:26:34appeared
6:26:35again
6:26:37Wes Michael will love it trust
6:26:41me I started to respond like five
6:26:44different times over the course of the
6:26:46day but in the end I said
6:26:49nothing because what was there to say
6:26:52I'd been getting a little sucked into
6:26:54Wes's performance stumbling over his
6:26:57charm but his response had reminded me
6:27:00of my
6:27:01endgame me Michael
6:27:05prom
6:27:09boom chapter
6:27:1310 but mostly I hate the way I don't
6:27:16hate you not even close not even a
6:27:19little bit not even at
6:27:22all 10 Things I Hate About
6:27:25You
6:27:27Wes movie at Michael's tomorrow are you
6:27:30still in I looked up from my phone to
6:27:33make sure the teacher was still
6:27:34lecturing and not looking at me as I
6:27:36broke the rules my foot accidentally
6:27:39kicked J's chair in front of me as I
6:27:41held my phone down by my lap and
6:27:43texted
6:27:45definitely Wes I'll pick you up at 600
6:27:49so we can grab food on the way I glanced
6:27:52up for a second I'd been going over my
6:27:54recent interactions with Wes in my head
6:27:57and I needed to shore up our
6:27:59boundaries all of our nice moments as of
6:28:01late were muddying the waters and I
6:28:03needed needed to keep it together and
6:28:05focus on my goal the last thing I wanted
6:28:08was to mess everything up by having a
6:28:10silly flirtation
6:28:12misconstrued it's not a date right Wes
6:28:16ew Liz me just checking can't have you
6:28:21getting
6:28:22attached Wes as hard as this might be to
6:28:26believe I'm having no trouble fighting
6:28:28the fields you nice little
6:28:30weirdo that made me snort out a little
6:28:32laugh oh my God I glanced up and Joselyn
6:28:37was turned all the way around in her
6:28:39chair looking at me with a huge grin on
6:28:42her face she whispered you're texting
6:28:45him aren't
6:28:46you I cleared my
6:28:49throat who you know who she glanced over
6:28:54at the teacher before turning back and
6:28:56saying
6:28:58Bennett I inhaled through my nose before
6:29:02saying yes but we're just flipping each
6:29:04other's totally platonic
6:29:07stuff when are you going to admit that
6:29:09you like him I'm not saying it's love or
6:29:12whatever you write about in your secret
6:29:14diary but you genuinely enjoy the
6:29:18boy enjoy the boy band name called it
6:29:22damn you she giggled and turned back
6:29:26around another point for me in the game
6:29:29we'd been playing for over a
6:29:31year I looked at the back of her head as
6:29:33the the now familiar feeling of guilt
6:29:35filled my
6:29:37stomach I mean technically she wasn't
6:29:39wrong I was enjoying W in a friend way
6:29:44he was quickly becoming one of my
6:29:46favorite
6:29:47people but it was kind of bothering me
6:29:50not knowing what was going to happen
6:29:52after tomorrow
6:29:53night would we still be friends once
6:29:56this all came to an
6:29:58end did he have any interest in that at
6:30:02all my phone buzzed at that very second
6:30:06as if he knew I was thinking about him
6:30:09Wes meteor shower tonight if you're
6:30:12interested I've got swishers
6:30:15FYI I squeezed my lips together in an
6:30:17attempt not to smile but it was no use
6:30:22me who cares about meteor showers if you
6:30:26bring the Cherry siggies I'm so there
6:30:29Wes you're such a see you there
6:30:35I was merely hiding it amongst your nerd
6:30:37books so I didn't get caught I wasn't
6:30:40terrorizing you not buying it I turned
6:30:44my stick so the marshmallows rotated in
6:30:46the fire first of all you didn't have to
6:30:49decapitate the little cherup thingy at
6:30:51all second you put red paint around the
6:30:54mouth and eyes and set the head up so it
6:30:57was staring out at anyone namely me who
6:31:00dared to access that little Free Library
6:31:04I forgot about the
6:31:05paint he smiled and put his big feet up
6:31:09on the side of the fire
6:31:10pit maybe there was a little terroristic
6:31:14intention you think I removed the MS
6:31:18from the fire and blew on them before
6:31:20pulling one off the
6:31:22stick time has softened your memory of
6:31:25your old self you believe unless you're
6:31:28straight up faking that you were simply
6:31:30a rambunctious boy with no ill will
6:31:33toward me at all
6:31:34and that is categorically
6:31:37untrue his eyes followed the squishy M
6:31:40that I shoved into my mouth as I chewed
6:31:44I realized that I was completely
6:31:47unselfconscious around him instead of
6:31:50worrying that I looked like a pig I said
6:31:53through a mouthful of marshmallow
6:31:56ADM he looked at me filling my mouth for
6:31:59another few
6:32:00seconds then he said I will do no such
6:32:05thing I will however admit that you were
6:32:08a lot of fun to mess with and still
6:32:11are well I didn't enjoy it back then but
6:32:16now now I can take you so it's
6:32:19cool please stop with the big talk he
6:32:23grabbed the bag of snacks siiz Hershey
6:32:24bars unwrapped one and tossed it my way
6:32:28you cannot and will not ever take me at
6:32:32least not when it comes to Messing
6:32:35I caught the chocolate and sandwiched it
6:32:37with the other marshmallow between two
6:32:39gs I was holding the world's most
6:32:41perfect s'more you sure you don't want
6:32:44me to make one for you no thanks but
6:32:47your form is
6:32:49impressive now my first time
6:32:51sunshine I smiled and took a big
6:32:54bite M so
6:32:57good Wes chuckled his deep chuckle and
6:33:01looked up at the stars he had pulled out
6:33:04any cigars since I'd gotten there so I
6:33:07wasn't sure if he was no longer in the
6:33:08mood or if he was holding off out of
6:33:10courtesy for me he'd made fun of my
6:33:13armful of s'mores supplies when ID
6:33:15showed up but he'd also eaten about 10
6:33:18of my tiny Hershey bars so
6:33:20far I heard the first few notes of
6:33:23Forest Gump by Frank Ocean come out of
6:33:25Wes's Bluetooth speaker and I
6:33:29smiled such a great sit under the Stars
6:33:32song I hummed along with the intro and
6:33:36felt spring giddy as the lyrics dripped
6:33:38over me like
6:33:40Starlight my finger tips in my lips they
6:33:43burn from the
6:33:46cigarettes what are your plans next to
6:33:48your
6:33:49bbone he was still looking up at the sky
6:33:52and my eyes lingered on his
6:33:54profile even though he wasn't my type
6:33:58that strong jaw prominent Adam's apple
6:34:02and thick hair made a pretty pretty
6:34:05picture I ignored the knot in my stomach
6:34:08At The Mention Of next
6:34:09year
6:34:11UCLA
6:34:13you that made him look over at me like I
6:34:15was
6:34:16crazy
6:34:18seriously um
6:34:22yeah why
6:34:24UCLA I tilted my
6:34:27head do you have a problem with
6:34:30UCLA he had a weird look on his face
6:34:34no not at all that was just really
6:34:41unexpected I squinted at him in the
6:34:44darkness you're acting really weird
6:34:46about
6:34:47this
6:34:49sorry his lips slid up into a half
6:34:52smile UCLA is a great
6:34:55school what do you want to study
6:34:58unrealistic romantic
6:35:00films I rolled my eyes as he grinned a
6:35:02self-satisfied
6:35:04smile you think you're funnier than you
6:35:06actually are I don't think so he
6:35:10gestured with his hands for me to go
6:35:13plan of study
6:35:15please I cleared my throat I hated
6:35:18ruining the night's Vibes with talk of
6:35:20college talk of next year always left me
6:35:23feeling
6:35:25devastated because I knew firsthand how
6:35:28fast everything
6:35:29changed life pressed forward with a
6:35:32burning velocity that left all of the
6:35:34beautifully pressed details quickly
6:35:37forgotten once I went away nothing would
6:35:40ever be the same again my dad the house
6:35:44her rose bushes our daily
6:35:48talks those things would all be
6:35:50different when I returned they'd Fade
6:35:53Into the past before I even had a chance
6:35:55to notice and there would be no getting
6:35:58them
6:35:59back even
6:36:01Wes he'd been there since the beginning
6:36:05living his life parallel to mine but
6:36:08next year it would be
6:36:10different for the first time he wouldn't
6:36:12be next door to
6:36:14me I cleared my throat and
6:36:16said
6:36:18musicology sounds made
6:36:21up right I felt like I had UCLA's
6:36:25catalog verbiage memorized after reading
6:36:27it so many
6:36:28times but it's legit and a really really
6:36:32good program I can minor in music
6:36:34industry and get a certification in
6:36:36music
6:36:38supervision what job do you get in that
6:36:40after
6:36:42college I want to be a music
6:36:44supervisor usually when I said that I
6:36:47was met with a screwed up face and a
6:36:49one- syllable huh but Wes just sat there
6:36:55listening it basically means I want to
6:36:57curate music for
6:36:59soundtracks
6:37:00whoa he gave his head a little Shake
6:37:04first of all I had no idea that was a
6:37:07thing but second that is the perfect job
6:37:11for you holy you already do that
6:37:14all the
6:37:15time yep I took another bite of my
6:37:18s'more and licked off the marshmallow
6:37:20dripping onto my fingers and you have no
6:37:24idea I have shelves full of soundtrack
6:37:27notebooks I cannot wait to get
6:37:30started damn
6:37:33he gave me a serious look that I felt in
6:37:36my
6:37:36belly his voice was so deep in the dark
6:37:39of the secret area that anything other
6:37:42than silliness felt
6:37:44intimate you've always kind of done your
6:37:46own thing
6:37:48Liz and it's cool as
6:37:51was it weird that his compliments
6:37:54sent warmth from the tips of my toes all
6:37:57the way to the squint of my
6:37:59eyes all of the stresses were pushed
6:38:02away with that one
6:38:04cool as
6:38:06comment thanks
6:38:08Wes that's wesy to
6:38:11you yeah
6:38:13no the moment was
6:38:15broken but the warmth under my sternum
6:38:18remained rendering me relaxed and
6:38:21blissfully content to thoughtlessly
6:38:24ramble what about you where is
6:38:27everybody's allamerican going to
6:38:30college no idea he leaned forward and
6:38:34moved the fire around with the s'more
6:38:36stick baseball is just getting started
6:38:39so it's still up in the
6:38:41air oh so you want to play in college
6:38:45yes
6:38:46ma'am and you're good
6:38:49enough yes I'm good enough Liz he
6:38:53coughed out a
6:38:54laugh well I hope I don't mean that as a
6:38:58slam by the way I've just never gone to
6:39:00a game what are you like a hitter or
6:39:04something okay we are not talking
6:39:07baseball until you've actually watched a
6:39:09game that was
6:39:11pathetic I know I brought my legs up to
6:39:15the chair and wrapped my arms around
6:39:17them so do you think you'll go away to
6:39:20school or stay
6:39:22local
6:39:23away he looked into the fire and the
6:39:26Shadows from the Flames danced on his
6:39:29face I've already had offers from
6:39:32schools in Florida Texas Cali and South
6:39:36Carolina so why would I want to stay in
6:39:39Nebraska
6:39:41wow how good was he and even though I
6:39:45was planning on going away why did the
6:39:48thought of Wes not being here forever in
6:39:51the house next door caus a tiny little
6:39:54heart
6:39:55pain I studied the fire and asked
6:39:58him doesn't UNL have a really good
6:40:01baseball team
6:40:03they do I can't believe you know that by
6:40:06the
6:40:07way he smiled but it didn't reach his
6:40:10eyes and he didn't look away from the
6:40:14fire I'm just ready to leave Nebraska
6:40:17behind there's really nothing here for
6:40:20me you
6:40:21know no I don't
6:40:23know I unwrapped my arms from my legs
6:40:26and put my feet back down on the ground
6:40:29bothered by what he just said
6:40:33I hate leaving it behind but my dreams
6:40:36are all in California or New
6:40:38York he looked at me through narrowed
6:40:41eyes are you mad
6:40:44no
6:40:46maybe I rolled my eyes I mean you do you
6:40:51I just don't understand Libby my head
6:40:54whipped around at the sound of my dad's
6:40:56voice there he was standing in the
6:40:59clearing in his pajama pants and dinker
6:41:02hamburgers t-shirt looking at me as if I
6:41:04were brick dancing naked on top of the
6:41:07fire what in God's name are you doing
6:41:09out here at 11:30 on a school
6:41:12night I thought back to Wes's original
6:41:15sneaking out
6:41:16text I came out to see the meteor shower
6:41:19and then Wes yelled over the fence for
6:41:21me to come
6:41:22over
6:41:24oh I forgot about the meteor
6:41:26shower he came over and sat on the empty
6:41:29chair between Wes and me plopping down
6:41:32on the cushion before casually rubbing
6:41:34the top of his curly
6:41:36hair how is
6:41:38it Wes and I looked at each other then
6:41:41because neither of us had really
6:41:43remembered the shower once we'd gotten
6:41:45out
6:41:46there I
6:41:48said it's just
6:41:50great hand me a mow will you sweetie I
6:41:54haven't had a s'more in
6:41:58years Wednesday dragged by mostly
6:42:02because I spent all day obsessed with
6:42:04two things first I was still bothered by
6:42:08Wes's comment the night
6:42:10before there's really nothing here for
6:42:13me why would he say that did he really
6:42:16feel that
6:42:17way I still didn't know that much about
6:42:20his whole big life but for some reason
6:42:23that hurt my
6:42:25feelings maybe it was because I'd been
6:42:27having fun getting to know him and I
6:42:30thought he felt the same way
6:42:33but when I forced myself to stop
6:42:34dwelling on that I got super excited
6:42:37about the night to come as I listened to
6:42:40Mr Cooney drone on
6:42:42intrig I decided I was going to wear the
6:42:45Green Top I'd bought with Wes and
6:42:46straighten my hair I'd actually told Jos
6:42:50about it yay tricky honesty so I was
6:42:53able to get her opinion on my outfit
6:42:56while Mrs Adams encouraged the class to
6:42:58explore our inner writers and lit I
6:43:01popped in my earbuds and explored my
6:43:03inner Daydream I put electric by Elina
6:43:07baraz and khed on repeat the perfect
6:43:09song to accompany my imaginings of the
6:43:12evening darker than the ocean deeper
6:43:15than the sea you got everything you got
6:43:19what I
6:43:20need only the song kept making me think
6:43:23of Wes instead of Michael which
6:43:25frustrated the crap out of
6:43:27me no matter how many times I started
6:43:30thinking about what the night would
6:43:31bring my brain flipped it and I was
6:43:33thinking about dinner with
6:43:35Wes because I'd never eaten an actual
6:43:38meal with him well not since our moms
6:43:41had given us both ham sandwiches at the
6:43:43Park View Heights annual neighborhood
6:43:46picnic but that didn't count just like
6:43:49our s'mores last night didn't count
6:43:51either did he eat a lot did he go all
6:43:55daty and pull out chairs for his female
6:43:57dinner
6:43:58Partners it didn't help that Jos thought
6:44:01I was excited about going out with Wes
6:44:03all through lunch I babbled about how I
6:44:05was going to do my makeup and her
6:44:08collusion made it kind of feel like I
6:44:10was excited about going out with Wes my
6:44:13lack of sleep the night before was
6:44:14clearly making me
6:44:16confused as soon as the final bell rang
6:44:18I nearly ran to the car my phone buzzed
6:44:21as I walked across the parking lot
6:44:24Wes okay weird question me all questions
6:44:29from you are weird Wes ignoring that
6:44:33actually I have two questions
6:44:36first did I piss you off last
6:44:39night kind of but I didn't want it to
6:44:42spoil the impending evening so I
6:44:44responded with nope Wes liar tell
6:44:51me like he really wanted to know he just
6:44:55wanted to leave it all behind because
6:44:56there was nothing here for him I rolled
6:44:59my eyes and texted get on with your
6:45:02question Ben
6:45:04Wes fine do you like dive bars with good
6:45:08food I kind of feel like you're too
6:45:10roughly for greasy Burgers on
6:45:12napkins I unlocked my car and opened the
6:45:16door thank you for calling me roughly
6:45:19but I'm actually a Shameless carnivore
6:45:22who'd sell her soul for a good burger
6:45:25Wes thank God I'm jonesing for Stella's
6:45:29and I thought you might not be down for
6:45:30it he just bummed the already appealing
6:45:33night up to wonderfully
6:45:36mouthwatering I freaking love
6:45:39Stella's Wes I'll pick you up at 600 and
6:45:43FYI roughly wasn't a
6:45:46compliment I smiled and got into my car
6:45:50sure it
6:45:51wasn't when I got home I ditched my
6:45:53school outfit a super cute dress that
6:45:56was covered in bright red poppies and
6:45:58took a second shower after shoing fits
6:46:01off my clothes I blowdried and spent an
6:46:04eternity straightening the hair that
6:46:06wasn't meant to be anything other than
6:46:08Kinky Curly I even took extra time
6:46:11getting my eyeliner tails on
6:46:13point by the time Wes texted that he was
6:46:16about to ring my doorbell I felt like I
6:46:18looked pretty good in then I look like
6:46:21everyone else kind of way I quickly
6:46:24texted him don't ring I'll be out in 1
6:46:26minute Wes I feel like you're ashamed of
6:46:30me me I so am
6:46:33Wes well if you aren't out in 30 seconds
6:46:36I'm going to start honking the horn I
6:46:39threw open my bedroom door and ran down
6:46:41the hallway zipping my crossbody bag as
6:46:43I flew down the stairs oh someone's in a
6:46:47hurry I stopped at the bottom of the
6:46:50steps and looked over at Helena who was
6:46:52reading a book on the living room sofa
6:46:54and smiling at me as if I were
6:46:57entertaining things had been super
6:46:59awkward since dress shopping but then
6:47:01yesterday it was like she' DEC decided
6:47:03to forget it she'd picked up pizza for
6:47:05dinner and acted like my assholery had
6:47:08never
6:47:09happened thank God because I really felt
6:47:12bad but wasn't sure how to apologize
6:47:15without eliciting further
6:47:17discussion I said I already told Dad
6:47:20that I'm going to Michaels with Wes for
6:47:21movies you weren't home yet when we
6:47:23talked about it she turned the book over
6:47:26and said it on the end table he told me
6:47:30so Wes is still helping you land and the
6:47:33Michael
6:47:34then I could totally read on her face
6:47:37that she thought there was something
6:47:38going on emotionally with
6:47:41Wes yep she looked at her watch it's
6:47:46awfully early for moving night isn't it
6:47:49Wes and I are going to Stella before we
6:47:51go over there I didn't smile but I felt
6:47:55like she could see the changing truth in
6:47:57my
6:47:58eyes I waited for a
6:48:01comment well isn't that just
6:48:03tasty she grinned and we kind of had a
6:48:07whole conversation with our faces before
6:48:10I
6:48:11said whatever dork I ran a hand over my
6:48:15Smooth hair and said you're just jealous
6:48:18that I'm going to Stellas and you aren't
6:48:21God I would lick the floor for one of
6:48:23those Burgers right
6:48:24now I laughed I get that seriously if
6:48:29someone said I could have a Stella
6:48:31Burger this very minute if licked the
6:48:33kitchen floor I totally
6:48:35would that made me snort and I asked do
6:48:39you want me to bring one back for you oh
6:48:42my God yes please she leapt up and ran
6:48:44to her purse on the counter are you
6:48:47serious yes I started to answer when I
6:48:51heard the first honk oh good lord Wes
6:48:53was
6:48:54honking I'm serious but it'll be pretty
6:48:57cold by the time we're
6:48:59home it felt good to do something for
6:49:02her after to the weirdness on Monday but
6:49:05I kind of wished she'd come right out
6:49:07and asked me to get her one did she feel
6:49:10like she
6:49:11couldn't I felt bad if that was the case
6:49:14and there was a very large part of me
6:49:16that wished we were
6:49:17closer I was such a conflicted
6:49:20mess she pulled out a 20 and shoved it
6:49:23in my direction don't care get me a
6:49:26double hamburger with everything on it
6:49:28no way you can eat all of that bet
6:49:33I shook my head as I took her money I'll
6:49:36be home by 11:30 or 12 okay be good kid
6:49:41Wes laid on the horn then and Helena
6:49:43said he's doing that on purpose isn't he
6:49:46I glanced at her over my shoulder
6:49:48picturing Wes pushing me into the seat
6:49:51that ensured I was sitting next to
6:49:52Michael in the
6:49:54minivan I'm pretty sure he does
6:49:56everything on
6:49:58purpose I ran out the door and got into
6:50:01Wes's car I can't believe you honked you
6:50:05can't he smiled over at me and waited
6:50:08while I buckled my seat Bel it's like
6:50:11you've never met me nice shirt by the
6:50:14way thanks I buckled and tucked my hair
6:50:18behind my
6:50:19ears someone told me that green is my
6:50:22second bests color that makes sense with
6:50:25your red hair and all I rolled my eyes
6:50:29again that isn't a
6:50:31thing how can you not know the rules I
6:50:34mean style
6:50:36101 and you would know this how Mr Jock
6:50:39Shop because I'm
6:50:42smart his mouth slid into a smirk as he
6:50:45put the car in reverse and backed out of
6:50:47the
6:50:48driveway
6:50:52obviously and you do this why Wes asked
6:50:56I smiled as I wrote my initials with
6:50:58ketchup on the napkin encircling them
6:51:01with a big heart
6:51:04tradition growing up whenever we came
6:51:06here I always wrote things with ketchup
6:51:09on the napkins while I waited for our
6:51:11food that's weird no it isn't I
6:51:15surrounded the big heart with smaller
6:51:18Hearts you have to try it and see
6:51:21there's something about the squirty
6:51:22ketchup tip that makes it
6:51:24great um I'm good but thanks oh my God
6:51:30you're too cool to write with ketchup
6:51:33well yeah for sure I
6:51:36am he reached across the table and took
6:51:39the condiment from my
6:51:40hand but for the sake of being a good
6:51:43dinner partner I will try your childish
6:51:47Pastime good I pulled some napkins out
6:51:50of the dispenser and laid them on the
6:51:52table in front of him and it isn't
6:51:55wasting because you can dip your fries
6:51:57in it I don't like ketchup on my
6:52:00fries I don't even understand you Wes
6:52:04he started making something on the
6:52:05napkin and I noticed that Wheel of
6:52:07Fortune was on the TV behind the bar as
6:52:10Tom Jones's cover of Kiss wafted out
6:52:13from the Antiquated
6:52:14jukebox Stella's was a greasy bar that
6:52:17had formerly been a house and even
6:52:19though they served the hamburgers on
6:52:21napkins and the place was entirely
6:52:23lacking in atmosphere you considered
6:52:25yourself lucky if you were able to get a
6:52:27table during the lunch rush my city
6:52:30appreciated a good burger and handcut
6:52:32fries
6:52:33I looked back at his napkin and he'd
6:52:35totally drawn a cartoony dude it was a
6:52:39face in ketchup way better than the
6:52:41childish letters I'd
6:52:43made so how was baseball
6:52:46today he kept working with the
6:52:49ketchup why are you asking me
6:52:51that I watched his face as he
6:52:54concentrated the length of his dark
6:52:56lashes was totally
6:52:58unfair because now I know it's important
6:53:02like not just a
6:53:03hobby so did you hit a homer or bunt a
6:53:10Dinger his lips turned up stop
6:53:14it or are you a pitcher did you slide a
6:53:19curveball you have to stop Buck bom he
6:53:23gave me a good smile and I curled my
6:53:26toes in my funky Brown
6:53:28booties either learn about the game or
6:53:30never speak of it again
6:53:33the waitress appeared with our food and
6:53:35Helena's in a to-go box and we were
6:53:37alike in that our whole Focus turned to
6:53:40the greasy offerings no more small talk
6:53:44no more banter our eyes were for food
6:53:48only oh my God this is so good I
6:53:51swallowed my first bite of burger and
6:53:53reached for my soda God bless you for
6:53:56bringing me here I selfishly wanted it
6:54:00you're just collateral damage don't even
6:54:03care I dipped two fries and shoved them
6:54:06into my mouth all that matters is that
6:54:08my mouth has these Delights inside it
6:54:12ew that made me snort right don't be
6:54:17snorting while you eat if you aspirate
6:54:20food you could get a lung infection and
6:54:22die I
6:54:24swallowed I have no idea how to respond
6:54:28to that
6:54:28statement he said thank you so much much
6:54:32wessie for looking out for me that is a
6:54:36perfect
6:54:37response I grabbed another
6:54:39fry thank you so much wessie for
6:54:42entertaining me with your inane
6:54:43conversation while we eat this is
6:54:46definitely not
6:54:47boring well that's good isn't it
6:54:51though we got quiet while we ate but it
6:54:55was a comfortable quiet I was lost in
6:54:58the food until he
6:55:00said don't take this the wrong way
6:55:03but you eat like a
6:55:04man sexist
6:55:07much let me rephrase he cleared his
6:55:10throat wiped his hands on his napkin
6:55:13held up a finger and continued with
6:55:16Society
6:55:17wrongly expects a pretty girl to eat a
6:55:20salad and pick at her food but you wolf
6:55:24down a burger like a person who's been
6:55:25starved for weeks and probably Raised by
6:55:30Wolves it was ridiculous that his usage
6:55:33of the word pretty set my nerves on
6:55:37edge he thought I was
6:55:40pretty I like food
6:55:43suei he sat back a little in his chair
6:55:46and cracked the knuckles on his left
6:55:49hand so what's your plan tonight how are
6:55:52you going to win over Mikey if I get you
6:55:54a
6:55:55one-on-one record
6:55:57scratch Wes was a knuckle cracker wasn't
6:56:00he knuckle cracking was one of those
6:56:03things that I wouldn't call a pet peeve
6:56:05of mine but whenever I heard that sound
6:56:09I immediately jolted into a doglike
6:56:12sense of alert looking around to see
6:56:15where the sound was coming
6:56:17from it usually set me on
6:56:20edge well I said wiping my mouth with a
6:56:24napkin before reaching for another
6:56:26french
6:56:27fry I'm going to give him the onew punch
6:56:31first I'll start by hitting him in the
6:56:33sentimentals bringing back the cicada
6:56:35songs of his childhood with My Soul
6:56:38stroking
6:56:39reminiscing not bad he said and cracked
6:56:43the knuckles on his right hand stroking
6:56:46is always a
6:56:48winner I looked at his half smile and
6:56:52wondered why his knuckle cracking seemed
6:56:55right like it somehow went with his face
6:56:58or
6:56:59something you know I think I'll keep the
6:57:01rest to
6:57:02myself oh come
6:57:04on he reached out a hand and tugged at
6:57:08the tendril of hair by my face that
6:57:10stubbornly refused to
6:57:12straighten I'll be
6:57:15good why did his physical nature and the
6:57:18way he had no problem with close contact
6:57:21the hair tousel the tugs the
6:57:25nudges always make my stomach go
6:57:28wild I smacked his hand and grabbed one
6:57:31of his fries
6:57:32saying a very
6:57:34calm no thank
6:57:36you but inside I was freaking the freak
6:57:40out what in God's name was happening
6:57:43knuckle cracking was proven to bring on
6:57:45that icky this one is not right for me
6:57:48feeling it always did it was a
6:57:51straightup eject button from any
6:57:53potential romantic
6:57:55relationship but there I was scant feet
6:57:58away from Wes and his knuckles and I
6:58:00almost found his Habit to be
6:58:04endearing like he kind of looked
6:58:07adorable when he smiled and
6:58:10cracked this was very very wrong because
6:58:14a Wes was the wrong guy B my mother had
6:58:19warned me about falling for guys like
6:58:21him and C he had no interest in me at
6:58:24all hence the there's really nothing
6:58:26here for me comment the night
6:58:28before what on Earth was I doing with my
6:58:31emotions
6:58:32oh my God you beat
6:58:35me what I looked around unsure of what
6:58:40he was talking about he swallowed and
6:58:42grabbed a
6:58:44napkin you finished your food
6:58:47already he was right I looked from my
6:58:51plate completely clean save for some
6:58:53small grease puddles ketchup smears and
6:58:56Tiny grains of salt to his which still
6:58:59held three bites of burger and a small
6:59:02grouping of
6:59:04fries
6:59:06so so holy you eat
6:59:09fast or holy you eat like an
6:59:14octogenarian that made his eyes
6:59:17squint want the rest of my
6:59:20fries I looked at the greasy handcut
6:59:24fries you're not going to eat
6:59:26them he shoved the plastic bowl of fries
6:59:29toward
6:59:30me this little old man is
6:59:33full I grabbed four fries and dunked
6:59:36them into his
6:59:38ketchup well then thank you
6:59:41Grandpa as I wolfed down those fries it
6:59:44was impossible for me to ignore the fact
6:59:46that I was in no hurry for dinner to end
6:59:50I'd been having fun with Wes I'd been
6:59:53smiling the entire time when I wasn't
6:59:56rolling my eyes and even knowing Michael
6:59:59was waiting I wasn't ready to go
7:00:03but it was just because things were so
7:00:04easy between us that was what had
7:00:08confused me our friendship was so
7:00:11comfortable that it muddied the
7:00:13waters
7:00:15boom it made me think of When Harry Met
7:00:17Sally minus the ending up together
7:00:21part do you think men and women can be
7:00:24friends
7:00:25Bennett he picked up his
7:00:27water sure I mean we are aren't
7:00:33we I guess we kind of
7:00:35are I was playing at cool he had no idea
7:00:39what his friendship over the past week
7:00:41meant to me I hadn't realized it either
7:00:44to be honest but the fact that we'd had
7:00:47some seriously incredible conversations
7:00:50that centered on my mother made it
7:00:53different from every other relationship
7:00:54in my
7:00:56life weird
7:00:59right he took a drink his eyes never
7:01:02leaving me as he
7:01:04swallowed you never thought that
7:01:06would happen did
7:01:08you for sure
7:01:10no I swallowed the bite of fries and
7:01:13reached for
7:01:15more but a lot of people say it doesn't
7:01:18work that is this the Harry S
7:01:22thing how do you know about that my mom
7:01:25loves that movie I've seen it a few
7:01:28times a few times see I knew you liked
7:01:33romcoms oh for the love of God
7:01:36no he shook his head like I was
7:01:39ridiculous I just like Billy Krystal if
7:01:42he can be Mike wizowski he can be
7:01:45anybody it's a funny movie and that is
7:01:48all and you don't think he's right the
7:01:51fact that they get together in the end
7:01:53pretty much proves his theory
7:01:55yeah maybe I don't know he did a little
7:02:00shrug thing that made me notice his
7:02:03shoulders damn you Helena he
7:02:07said I think he has some valid points
7:02:11but it's irrelevant for
7:02:13us it is
7:02:16sure he scratched his cheek and said
7:02:19super matter of
7:02:20factly wey exception because I'm not
7:02:23your
7:02:24friend I'm your little love fairy
7:02:27Godfather that sounds
7:02:30gross I made the joke but I didn't like
7:02:34that he'd said he wasn't my
7:02:36friend he ignored the joke and
7:02:39said it's true though we're like friends
7:02:43for now but the fairy Godfather is all
7:02:46about helping you get what you
7:02:48want once the magic starts happening he
7:02:51doesn't stick around for the fairy tale
7:02:53ending I mean how creepy would that be
7:02:57really
7:02:58creepy I fake laughed like we were on
7:03:01the same page
7:03:02age but was he saying that if I ended up
7:03:05with Michael then we wouldn't be friends
7:03:08anymore that we really weren't friends
7:03:11at all
7:03:12now but merely role players making my
7:03:15wish
7:03:16happen it made sense after what he'd
7:03:19said last
7:03:21night that's right
7:03:23bbom he reached across the table and
7:03:26touched the tip of my nose a Boop with
7:03:29his finger
7:03:31creepy as
7:03:33hell I was struggling to keep up to
7:03:36process what he was saying and what it
7:03:38meant for us while also overanalyzing
7:03:42the fact that even a finger Boop made my
7:03:44stomach go wild when his mouth turned
7:03:47into a smirk and he
7:03:49said now finish those fries so we can
7:03:52get you to your
7:03:54Michael done I shoved the last fry into
7:03:58my mouth and pushed back my chair
7:04:00needing to get out into some fresh air
7:04:02before my brain
7:04:04exploded let's go fairy
7:04:12Godfather chapter
7:04:1511 if you look for it I've got a sneaky
7:04:18feeling you'll find that Love Actually
7:04:20is all
7:04:22around Love
7:04:25Actually hey it's Mrs Potato Head I
7:04:29followed Wes through the kitchen door
7:04:31and smile smiled when I saw Adam
7:04:33standing at the center Island loading up
7:04:35a plate full of pizza rolls I gave him a
7:04:38chin knot and said it's me your face
7:04:42looks way better by the way you're very
7:04:44UNP potatoey
7:04:46now gee
7:04:48thanks Noah felt like about
7:04:50breaking your face so make sure you make
7:04:53him feel extra bad he picked up his
7:04:56plate and grabbed a can of Coke he
7:04:58deserves
7:05:00it Wes and I went into the living room
7:05:02behind him and it was clear we were the
7:05:05last ones there the room was filled with
7:05:08mostly the same people from the
7:05:09basketball game plus three others Ashley
7:05:13the girl who' puked on me Lany GH and
7:05:18Alex the one who liked Wes talk about a
7:05:22nightmarish Trifecta of people
7:05:24right Liz I am so sorry about your nose
7:05:29Noah was sitting on the sofa between
7:05:31Alex and Ashley and he pointed at my
7:05:34face it looks good now though that made
7:05:38me
7:05:38smile thanks and don't worry about it
7:05:43Adam said come on Potato Head you had
7:05:46one
7:05:47job I know and I'm
7:05:50sorry oh he Liz Laney who was stretched
7:05:54out in the recliner smiled over at us I
7:05:57didn't know you guys were
7:05:59coming my brain mocked her in a
7:06:02high-pitched Muppet babyies kind of
7:06:03voice before I just
7:06:05said yeah hey guys snacks are in the
7:06:09kitchen and the movie's about to start
7:06:12Michael popped up from where he was
7:06:13lying on the floor and gave us a small
7:06:15wave that's good Wes said from behind me
7:06:20because I think Liz is probably getting
7:06:23hungry
7:06:24haha I turned around and his face did
7:06:28that thing to my stomach again which
7:06:30pissed me off because he didn't even
7:06:32think of me as his
7:06:33friend I eat a lot you're
7:06:37hilarious I
7:06:39know there wasn't a way for me to remove
7:06:41myself from West without causing
7:06:44weirdness so we sat together on the
7:06:46floor and everyone got quiet as the
7:06:49movie started it was this really intense
7:06:52Thriller and everyone was silent so they
7:06:55wouldn't miss out on anything important
7:06:57but I couldn't concentrate on the movie
7:06:59because I was trying to figure out why
7:07:02Wes was making me irrationally
7:07:04emotional I also couldn't concentrate
7:07:07because my thigh was touching Wes's
7:07:09thigh we both had our legs stretched out
7:07:12in front of us as we leaned back on our
7:07:15palms nothing was intimate about our
7:07:17position but it's like the spot where my
7:07:20right outer thigh touched his left outer
7:07:22thigh was inflamed and I couldn't ignore
7:07:25it every tiny molecule of my existence
7:07:28was focused on that one solitary spot
7:07:32was it warm in that
7:07:33house my eyes watched as a man on the
7:07:36television was murdered by a serial
7:07:38killer who jammed the man's head into
7:07:40the propeller of a boat motor but my
7:07:43mind was on
7:07:44Wes Wes and the fact that if he and I
7:07:47were reclined a little more like resting
7:07:50back on our
7:07:51elbows all he'd have to do was lean his
7:07:54body a little in my direction so he was
7:07:57hovering over me and we'd be perfectly
7:08:00aligned for him to kiss
7:08:02me he'd look down at my lips with those
7:08:05dark eyes and he would visibly swallow
7:08:09with that prominent Adams Apple that for
7:08:11some reason always distracted
7:08:13me and then Buck bom huh I turned my
7:08:19head to the right and looked at him a
7:08:22tiny bit gaspy and feeling like I'd been
7:08:25woken from a
7:08:26dream what the hell was I
7:08:29doing my face was hot as as he leaned a
7:08:32little closer to where his shoulder
7:08:34nudged mine he gave me a squinty eyed
7:08:37smirk and
7:08:39whispered I'm a little uncomfortable
7:08:41with the level of attention you just
7:08:43gave to that
7:08:44slashing I don't think you
7:08:47blinked I blinked then my cheeks getting
7:08:50even hotter if that was
7:08:53possible as he whispered to me in the
7:08:56dark my mouth curled up into a smile
7:09:00that I had no control over
7:09:02I whispered back quit watching me
7:09:07creeper and then the moment just
7:09:09stopped
7:09:11paused
7:09:13held his smirk disappeared and his face
7:09:16turned
7:09:17intense his jaw flexed and I could
7:09:20hardly breathe as I looked back at him
7:09:23my heart pounding as I let myself be
7:09:26obvious and look at his mouth for the
7:09:28quickest of
7:09:29seconds his mouth that was just so
7:09:32incredibly close to
7:09:34mine when I brought my eyes back to his
7:09:37I knew without a doubt that if we were
7:09:39anywhere else
7:09:42alone he would kiss
7:09:45me he
7:09:46swallowed and my eyes tracked down to
7:09:49his throat before slowly climbing back
7:09:51up by way of his strong chin
7:09:55nose and dark as night brown
7:09:58eyes he raised one eyebrow
7:10:02an unspoken
7:10:04question and I realized at that moment
7:10:06that I wanted
7:10:08it I wanted
7:10:10Wes Michael had been my endgame but I
7:10:14couldn't bring myself to care about that
7:10:16anymore I wouldn't run through a train
7:10:19station for Michael but I would do it
7:10:21for
7:10:22Wes holy
7:10:25I raised my right shoulder in a
7:10:28shrug that nudged his shoulder a touch
7:10:31of my cotton against his
7:10:33fleece scoot over Noah plopped beside me
7:10:37and said I'm going deaf sitting between
7:10:40those
7:10:41screamers
7:10:43no I sat up and moved a hair closer
7:10:46toward Wes careful not to look at him as
7:10:49I shifted over the moment had been
7:10:52broken and part of me was disappointed
7:10:55that we'd been interrupted while the
7:10:57other part was embarrassed and utterly
7:11:00clueless about whether what I thought
7:11:02had just happened had actually happened
7:11:04at
7:11:05all I stared blankly at the TV for what
7:11:08seemed like in eternity before I heard
7:11:11Wes
7:11:12whisper I'm going to get a drink you
7:11:15want
7:11:16one I took a deep breath please don't be
7:11:20mocking and turned to face him but
7:11:23instead of the smartass expression that
7:11:25was Wes's default he gave me a
7:11:28devastatingly hopeful Smile as he waited
7:11:30for my response
7:11:33I swallowed and felt trembly as I smiled
7:11:35back at
7:11:37him that' be great
7:11:40thanks they go
7:11:42great I nodded and had to concentrate on
7:11:45not sweating after he got up and left
7:11:47the
7:11:48room what in the actual
7:11:52hell when I came back from the restroom
7:11:55Wes still hadn't returned to his spot on
7:11:57the floor I glanced around the dark
7:12:00living room before noticing that he was
7:12:02out on the deck at first I couldn't tell
7:12:05who he was talking to but then I saw it
7:12:08was
7:12:09Alex talk about a glass of cold water to
7:12:11the
7:12:13face he was out there with the pretty
7:12:15girl that he knew liked him while I was
7:12:18feeling near vomitous over the confusing
7:12:21things I was thinking about my nextd
7:12:22door
7:12:23neighbor talk about a yawning
7:12:27Chasm I noded on my lip and squinted
7:12:30trying to see them
7:12:32better he said he wasn't interested in
7:12:34her and I believed he'd meant it but
7:12:38that didn't mean it couldn't change
7:12:40right and what if I'd been misreading
7:12:42every little thing between Wes and me to
7:12:45begin with my little fairy Godfather
7:12:48might only be interested in finding love
7:12:50for me not with me
7:12:54right had I completely imagined the
7:12:57moment on the
7:12:58floor I took my spot and watched watched
7:13:01the rest of the movie but my attention
7:13:03was now on the two people I could see in
7:13:05my
7:13:06periphery what were they talking about
7:13:09why were they out there I totally lost
7:13:12focus and was happy when the movie ended
7:13:14and they came
7:13:16inside I needed to get my head straight
7:13:19the people around me started talking to
7:13:21each other and I felt awkward and out of
7:13:24place and I missed
7:13:27Joselyn we texted every day like always
7:13:31but I hadn't spent any quality time with
7:13:33her
7:13:33lately being with all these people who
7:13:36were close friends with each other made
7:13:39me homesick for
7:13:40her I needed to go over there after I
7:13:43got
7:13:44home in fact it was probably time for me
7:13:47to come clean to her about the whole
7:13:50thing did you know that Michael's father
7:13:53has a grand
7:13:54piano Wes looked down at me from where
7:13:57he' perched his big self on the back of
7:13:59the sofa and held out a hand to help me
7:14:02up it's upstairs in an acoustically
7:14:05designed
7:14:06room I grabbed his hand and climbed to
7:14:09my feet and oh sweet Lord it felt like a
7:14:13Mr Darcy hand Flex from the best version
7:14:15of Pride and Prejudice
7:14:17moment the world stopped spinning for
7:14:20just a second when his big hand wrapped
7:14:23around
7:14:24mine but then just as fast the spinning
7:14:27returned and I was face to face with Wes
7:14:30and all of my
7:14:32confusion I looked at his face and then
7:14:35at
7:14:35Michael who I hadn't even noticed until
7:14:38then and realized they were waiting for
7:14:41a response from
7:14:42me to what
7:14:45again what was words how was
7:14:50talk wow dad piano room got
7:14:56it for
7:14:58real I think he's convinced he could
7:15:00have been a classical pianist if he'd
7:15:02had that room in a younger
7:15:04age Michael crossed his arms and said
7:15:08he's obsessed with it our little Liz
7:15:11plays
7:15:12piano Wes gave me a look and said to
7:15:16Michael she's really
7:15:18good I said no I'm not just as Michael
7:15:23said to me do you want to see
7:15:26it I
7:15:28blinked I would love to
7:15:32well then follow me
7:15:34mes Michael walked over to the stairs
7:15:37and I followed but he almost tripped
7:15:40when I glanced behind me and saw that
7:15:42Wes wasn't coming with us he was
7:15:45laughing at something Adam was saying so
7:15:48I took a deep breath and proceeded
7:15:50upstairs overwhelmed by my thoughts as I
7:15:53climbed the
7:15:55steps was this some sort of a
7:15:58signal by literally handing me off to
7:16:01Michael was that his figurative way of
7:16:03handing me off and walking
7:16:06away gosh it probably would have been
7:16:08funny if it were happening to someone
7:16:11else here was my beautiful Michael
7:16:14inviting me and not Lanie to see a dream
7:16:18come true music room and I just wanted
7:16:20him to go away so I could be with
7:16:23Wes was that
7:16:25okay I was having trouble keeping up
7:16:28with
7:16:29myself how would my mother have written
7:16:31this part would she have seen the good
7:16:34in the bad boy and twisted the
7:16:37plot damn it stop thinking
7:16:41Liz where are your parents I cleared my
7:16:44throat and shut down my inner
7:16:47thoughts I haven't seen them in like a
7:16:49million
7:16:50years they went to a movie Michael said
7:16:54as he took the stairs two at a
7:16:56time but my mom would love to see you
7:17:00when we reached the top of the stairs he
7:17:02led me to a closed door that looked like
7:17:05it belonged to just another bedroom he
7:17:08pushed it open
7:17:10and oh my
7:17:12God the room had a shiny wood floor and
7:17:16a thick rug sat underneath the baby
7:17:18grand piano that was turned diagonally
7:17:20on one side of the
7:17:22space he started telling me about
7:17:25reflection diffusion and absorption
7:17:28about how the decorations in the room
7:17:30were strategic Ally placed for better
7:17:32quality
7:17:33sound but I couldn't listen to
7:17:36him that piano was so
7:17:39beautiful I walked over and sat down on
7:17:41the
7:17:42bench I wanted to play it badly but
7:17:47clearly this was a big deal to his dad
7:17:49and I was a chump
7:17:51player Wes liked to act like I was good
7:17:54because I was the only person our age
7:17:56who still took lessons once a week but I
7:17:58was decent at best
7:18:01I loved the piano though I loved it so
7:18:05much I was sure my mom's obsession with
7:18:08the instrument had something to do with
7:18:10it but there was also nothing quite like
7:18:14closing my eyes and just losing myself
7:18:17in a song I'd played a hundred times
7:18:19before twigging the tempo and passion
7:18:23and listening to see if I could hear the
7:18:24minute differences I'd attempted to
7:18:27create you can play it Liz Michael said
7:18:32walking over to the door and closing it
7:18:35my dad had the room insulated so no one
7:18:38downstairs can hear you playing if the
7:18:39door is
7:18:41closed it's too nice I
7:18:44can't the black piano didn't have a
7:18:47speck of dust on it how is that
7:18:50possible and it's your dad's instrument
7:18:53no one else should touch it he's been
7:18:55fixing to play it but hasn't since we
7:18:57moved here go ahead
7:19:01I pushed back the keyboard cover cleared
7:19:04my throat and
7:19:06said prepared to be
7:19:09underwhelmed Michael
7:19:12grinned consider me
7:19:15prepared I smiled and started playing
7:19:17the beginning of a Dell's someone like
7:19:19you remembering Wes telling me to add it
7:19:22to our soundtrack after our phone
7:19:24conversation on the night when my nose
7:19:26got
7:19:27smashed Michael's mouth turned up into a
7:19:30grin
7:19:32you have't
7:19:34memorized it's really easy actually I
7:19:37felt awkward as my fingers ran over the
7:19:40keys it's mostly a four cord Loop anyone
7:19:44could play it pretty sure I
7:19:47could my eyes went up to his as he
7:19:50leaned against the piano looking down at
7:19:54me he was so handsome with the same
7:19:57small smile he'd first Charmed me with
7:20:00in grade
7:20:01school but I couldn't stop wondering
7:20:03what Wes was doing
7:20:05downstairs I was barely into the song
7:20:08when the door flew open and there was
7:20:11everyone except Wes and
7:20:14Alex my hands jumped into my lap and I
7:20:17felt like the world's biggest
7:20:19dork Wes's friends looked at me and I'm
7:20:22sure they thought I was a weirdo for
7:20:24playing piano when everyone else was
7:20:26hanging out and it was obvious they all
7:20:28hung out a lot because the entire group
7:20:31just picked up where they'd left off
7:20:33downstairs talking and laughing like
7:20:35they were best
7:20:37friends Lany came over and Stood Beside
7:20:39the piano saying to me I can't believe
7:20:43you can play like
7:20:44that I thought the room was
7:20:47soundproof it's insulated Michael said
7:20:50it to both me and
7:20:52Laney you can't hear it downstairs but
7:20:55you can from the
7:20:57hallway ah I felt silly seated at that
7:21:02piano your Adele was
7:21:05awesome it's a super easy song like I
7:21:09need your compliments
7:21:11Lanie but thanks it was still great and
7:21:15I'm
7:21:16jealous her eyes moved to Michael where
7:21:19he stood on my right and her face kind
7:21:22of got prettier as she smiled at him
7:21:25maybe it was because my night had gone
7:21:27completely off course but her expression
7:21:31made me feel a little bad for
7:21:33her that look on her face what it
7:21:37said I could
7:21:40relate I told her I seriously could
7:21:43teach it to you in an hour it's so
7:21:46nothing
7:21:48seriously she crossed her arms and gave
7:21:50me wide eyes you
7:21:53could Wes finally appeared in the
7:21:56doorway with Alex trailing right behind
7:21:58him and he said we should order a
7:22:02pizza o I'm in Alex said and I felt a
7:22:07tightness in my sternum as she smiled at
7:22:10Wes he looked down at her and smiled
7:22:13right back he was giving her his best
7:22:16smile the one that was fun but also warm
7:22:19and happy and I gritted my teeth as she
7:22:22flipped her hair and asked but from
7:22:25where and then Wes looked at me
7:22:31it was fleeting barely even a glance but
7:22:34his gaze met mine for a brief second and
7:22:37I felt it in my every nerve
7:22:39ending what was he
7:22:41doing was he still trying to wingman me
7:22:45after
7:22:46everything zoos Noah said and he and the
7:22:50others started following Wes and Alex
7:22:52out of the room and down the
7:22:54stairs I stared at the empty doorway
7:22:58unable to think about anything other
7:23:00than
7:23:01and that scorching look and the
7:23:04unfortunate proximity of
7:23:06Alex we just ate us what are you even
7:23:11doing Alex was lovely and I thought
7:23:15they'd be a good match when I'd
7:23:17initially heard of her
7:23:19feelings but now I thought that she was
7:23:21a little too serious for him I mean sure
7:23:24she seemed fun enough but compared to
7:23:27Wes's total disregard for anything
7:23:29mature she was a bit
7:23:32stoic besides Wes and I had had a moment
7:23:35downstairs damn
7:23:37it
7:23:39right or had I imagined
7:23:42it you say the word Pizza in the room
7:23:46clears I jumped when Michael
7:23:48spoke I hadn't even realized he was
7:23:51still
7:23:52there I smiled and casually
7:23:55stood who doesn't love pizza right he
7:23:58gestured to the hallway
7:24:01do you want to go get in on
7:24:03that um no
7:24:07thanks I shook my head not wanting to
7:24:10follow Wes especially if he was
7:24:13canoodling with
7:24:14Alex Wes and I went to Stellas before we
7:24:17got here and I'm still full that's right
7:24:21he told me you were getting dinner
7:24:22before you came
7:24:25yeah he also told me that things were
7:24:28more friendy with you too
7:24:31and he is thinking about asking Alex
7:24:34out I tried to look like I didn't care I
7:24:38smiled over the heavy feeling in my
7:24:39stomach and
7:24:41said yeah he's right he totally should
7:24:45she seems
7:24:47great yeah apparently he's sick of being
7:24:51stuck in your friend zone so he's moving
7:24:55on
7:24:57finally I rubbed my lips together and F
7:25:00focused on Michael's blue
7:25:02eyes this is what you wanted starting
7:25:05anything with Wes would be bad bad news
7:25:09eyes on the prize
7:25:11girl I didn't want things to get weird
7:25:14so this is really
7:25:16good
7:25:19probably um when did he tell you that
7:25:23days ago please about
7:25:26Alex when we were in the
7:25:29kitchen ah
7:25:31I looked at the piano keys and
7:25:34swallowed and it felt like there was
7:25:36something stuck in my
7:25:37throat I mean it was exactly what we'd
7:25:41planned for us to say so there was no
7:25:43reason for me to feel unsettled by this
7:25:47right Michael's phone made a noise
7:25:50bringing me out of my
7:25:52days he looked down at the message side
7:25:56and then put his phone back in his pants
7:25:59pocket um um are you okay I asked
7:26:04because his anxious face looked the same
7:26:06as it had back in grade school when he
7:26:08dropped his favorite Boggle game on the
7:26:10sidewalk and all the little letter
7:26:12pieces had bounced into the
7:26:15bushes he'd always been the kind of
7:26:17person to stress about every little
7:26:20thing except dear Lord I knew nothing
7:26:24about Michael
7:26:25now at
7:26:27all I knew he spoke with a Southern draw
7:26:31and had good
7:26:32hair that's all sure the Michael I knew
7:26:36in elementary school liked bugs and
7:26:39books and being
7:26:41kind but what did I know about him
7:26:44today I knew Wes a thousand times better
7:26:47than Michael and I was kind of starting
7:26:49to adore that nextdoor neighbor of
7:26:52mine
7:26:54what was I even doing in this room
7:26:56with
7:26:57Michael he fingered the sharp keys
7:27:00staring at the
7:27:02piano he pressed his index finger down
7:27:04on the middle CA and
7:27:06said it's this whole thing with Lany and
7:27:11prom my body's innate response to the
7:27:14name Lany was to jump for joy when it
7:27:16was said in a less than positive
7:27:18tone but now I couldn't muster up the
7:27:22emotion I
7:27:23asked are you guys going I didn't know I
7:27:28mean I heard you were talking
7:27:30but you
7:27:32know I trailed off not wanting to seem
7:27:36like I knew all the
7:27:38gossip well no I mean no we're not going
7:27:44yet he sigh yet
7:27:47again see we have been talking and
7:27:50Laney's
7:27:52wonderful but on the day I met her her
7:27:54boyfriend had just broken up with her
7:27:57literally I met her because she was
7:27:59outside crying
7:28:01oh I had no idea who she dated but it
7:28:05was kind of hard to believe that Laney
7:28:07Morgan got
7:28:09dumped so I have no idea what's going on
7:28:12in her
7:28:13head I don't want to move too fast if
7:28:16she isn't ready and I especially don't
7:28:18want to start something if she's still
7:28:20hung up on her
7:28:21X I felt a little bad for him because I
7:28:25could totally
7:28:26empathize wanting something but being un
7:28:30sure if you're able to have it or if
7:28:32it's safe to
7:28:33have yeah I got that and now that I knew
7:28:37how I actually felt the new enlightened
7:28:41emotionally honest Liz wanted to help
7:28:44Michael with
7:28:45Lany give him some kind of
7:28:48advice but at the same time I wanted to
7:28:51leave this conversation and bolt
7:28:53downstairs to find Wes before Alex
7:28:55started wearing him like a
7:28:58shirt I said
7:29:00can't you ask her to prom as a friend
7:29:02and see where it
7:29:05goes I
7:29:07could he played with the keys a little
7:29:10more but prom should mean
7:29:14something maybe it's the Texas bigness
7:29:17I'm used to but to me it's about the
7:29:20promposal and dinner and flowers and
7:29:26more is that
7:29:28silly I snorted a laugh oh my God no
7:29:33think about who you're talking to
7:29:35here he looked up and
7:29:38grinned that's right little Liz I said
7:29:43and pointed to myself and rolled my
7:29:46eyes I feel the exact same way I'm
7:29:50supposed to go with Jos and I'm sure
7:29:52it'll be fun but I'm with you that's not
7:29:56how I've always daydreamed senior prom
7:29:58would be
7:30:00I pictured Wes's face and my hands felt
7:30:05hot I shook them out and
7:30:08said the more I think about it the more
7:30:11I don't want to
7:30:12settle I want the possibility of more
7:30:16even if it doesn't work
7:30:18out I want to take the chance for a
7:30:20magical night because even if it flops I
7:30:24can at least have a date with
7:30:25possibility instead of a
7:30:27friend he tilted his head a little and
7:30:30smiled at
7:30:32me you might have a point
7:30:35Liz I know I do I was getting worked up
7:30:39at the thought of going to prom with
7:30:41Wes someone needed to douse me with cold
7:30:44water fast because suddenly it felt like
7:30:47it was all I'd ever
7:30:50wanted trust me when I tell you that
7:30:52sometimes the person with the most
7:30:54magical night possibility is the last
7:30:56person you'd
7:30:58expect sometimes there can can be
7:31:00someone you've known
7:31:01forever yet never really
7:31:04noticed God I wished I'd noticed
7:31:07sooner my brain was spewing out little
7:31:10montages of Wes and me in the secret
7:31:13area at Stella's on the way home from
7:31:16the
7:31:17party how had I not noticed
7:31:21sooner I think I know what you
7:31:24mean Michael said staring at me
7:31:27intensely and alarm Bells started going
7:31:30off in my head I wasn't sure why he was
7:31:33looking at me like that but now
7:31:36definitely wasn't the
7:31:37time Adam popped his head in the doorway
7:31:40and said we need you guys we're doing
7:31:43team Cards Against Humanity yes I
7:31:47shouted my response thrilled to be
7:31:50interrupted Adam tilted his head and
7:31:52gave me a what's the matter with you
7:31:54grin and Michael was still eyeballing me
7:31:58I cleared my throat tried to recover
7:32:01saying with a casual look I mean Count
7:32:04Me In I've never played that on teams
7:32:08Michael said giving me a weird
7:32:11look me either I agreed anxious to find
7:32:16Wes we're only playing teams because
7:32:19Alex wants to pair up with
7:32:21Wes Adam gave me a look of
7:32:24commiseration like we were of the same
7:32:27opinion and I wasn't quite sure what to
7:32:29do with
7:32:30that she says it's more fun that way but
7:32:34I'm pretty sure she just wants to share
7:32:36a chair with
7:32:37him well let's do
7:32:40it Michael gave me a nice
7:32:42smile but it did nothing for
7:32:45me at
7:32:47all it just reminded me that I needed to
7:32:50get down to that card game before Alex
7:32:52ended up with my happy
7:32:58ending chapter
7:33:0012 he had kissed her long and good we
7:33:04got banned from the pool forever that
7:33:06day but every time we walked by after
7:33:08that the Lifeguard looked down from her
7:33:10Tower right over at squint and
7:33:13smiled the sand
7:33:16lot thank God we parked close Wes
7:33:20started the car and turned on the
7:33:22windshield wipers as the rain pounded
7:33:25down we would have been drenched if we'd
7:33:27been a second later
7:33:29my heart was beating in my neck the
7:33:32inside of the dark car felt intimate
7:33:35against the Roaring storm and I was holy
7:33:38unsettled since the moment I'd realized
7:33:41the way I truly felt about Wes I'd been
7:33:43overwhelmed with a sort of panicked need
7:33:46to tell him to make sure he knew before
7:33:49Alex got comfortable on
7:33:51him for
7:33:53sure sorry about my sketchy
7:33:56friends no it's
7:33:58cool he was referring to the fact that
7:34:00his friends had played Cards Against
7:34:02Humanity for about 5 minutes before
7:34:05deciding they all wanted to go along
7:34:07when Noah got the pizza I'm fairly
7:34:10certain I was smiling maniacally when
7:34:12Alex climbed into the
7:34:14minivan I was supposed to go home as
7:34:16soon as the movie ended
7:34:18anyway yeah what's with that you're
7:34:21months away from leaving for college but
7:34:23your dad's still all over your business
7:34:26is he a smidge over protective Maybe
7:34:30he looked over his shoulder before
7:34:32putting the car in drive and pulling
7:34:34onto the street and the new song from
7:34:37Daphne Steinbeck dark love was starting
7:34:39on the
7:34:40radio it was slow and heavy on the sexy
7:34:43building beat and I considered switching
7:34:46the station because it felt like too
7:34:48much it was too
7:34:51perfect I
7:34:53said big time even though he's moved on
7:34:57with his life he never forgets about my
7:34:59mother's accident and the fact that
7:35:02sometimes the things that seem unlikely
7:35:04to happen in life do actually
7:35:08happen wow he glanced over at
7:35:12me pretty tough to argue over that one
7:35:16eh I don't even
7:35:18bother the rain intensified and Wes
7:35:21switched the windshield wipers to full
7:35:23speed he pulled out slowly onto Harbor
7:35:26Drive the busy street that ran parallel
7:35:29to Michael's neighbor neighborhood and
7:35:30the bright multicolored lights from the
7:35:32businesses lining the road were
7:35:34completely blurred by the
7:35:36downfall I leaned forward cranked the
7:35:39defroster and said as casually as I
7:35:42could so Alex huh you're going to ask
7:35:47her
7:35:47out Did Michael say that he craned his
7:35:51neck closer to the windshield taking his
7:35:54time as we neared an
7:35:56intersection the stoplight switched to
7:35:58green and he accelerated when the cars
7:36:01at the cross street all came to a stop
7:36:04all clear we got back up to speed but in
7:36:07the distance I saw a Jetta zip out of a
7:36:10gas station and onto the road in front
7:36:12of the Suburban we were following
7:36:13entirely too closely and car I braced
7:36:17myself for impact as the brake lights in
7:36:19front of us glowed bright red through
7:36:21the drenched and foggy window Wes's
7:36:24tires tried to stop on the wet pavement
7:36:26but the brakes locked and we were going
7:36:28to slam into that Suburban
7:36:30Wes steered the car to the right
7:36:32throwing us up and over what might have
7:36:34been a curb and then we were headed for
7:36:36something very green it looked like a
7:36:38forest he chanted as
7:36:42he attempted to control the car his foot
7:36:45mashed on The Brak but as the headlights
7:36:47lit up the Steep muddy slope in front of
7:36:50us we just kept moving down that hill
7:36:52and toward the trees we were going to
7:36:55hit a tree there was no way we weren't
7:36:58and I set a prayer as fast fast as I
7:36:59could while my heart pounded he jerked
7:37:02the wheel again and as soon as he did I
7:37:05felt a huge bump like we'd hit something
7:37:08and I worried the car was going to flip
7:37:09over but it lurched to a stop
7:37:12instead I looked over at Wes and his
7:37:16face was flushed like he'd just come
7:37:18back from a
7:37:19run we were both breathing hard as
7:37:22Thunder continued to pound the rain
7:37:25slapped on the roof of the truck and the
7:37:27radio still played dark love
7:37:31did that just
7:37:32happen are you
7:37:35okay his hands were still tightly
7:37:37wrapped around the wheel and he blinked
7:37:40at me Frozen before he unclenched his
7:37:43fingers and put the car in
7:37:46park holy
7:37:49Liz I'm
7:37:51fine I tried to look out the windshield
7:37:54but still couldn't see
7:37:56anything oh my God
7:38:00we're
7:38:02fine oh my
7:38:04God he laid his head back on his seat
7:38:07and let out his
7:38:09breath that was
7:38:11wild
7:38:13wild from the time he' slammed on the
7:38:16brakes until now had probably been a
7:38:18minute
7:38:19pops but that minute had been like an
7:38:22hour in the span of that minute I'd
7:38:25worried that we were going to die I'd
7:38:28worried about how my dad dad would
7:38:29survive if something happened to me I'd
7:38:32worried about Jos I'd worried about
7:38:34Wes's mom and I'd mourned the fact that
7:38:37I'd never get the chance to see things
7:38:39through with
7:38:40Wes bizarre
7:38:43right I can't believe we're okay I said
7:38:48remembering the way Wes had jerked the
7:38:51wheel I
7:38:53said you were
7:38:55incredible he unbuckled his seat belt
7:38:58and didn't look at me
7:39:00incredibly Reckless for driving in this
7:39:03weather you
7:39:04mean no I mean not only did your driving
7:39:08keep us from slamming into that car but
7:39:10then it kept us from slamming into a
7:39:12tree I unbuckled my seat belt too and
7:39:16added thank
7:39:18you don't thank me yet I might have
7:39:22gotten us
7:39:23stuck he reached in front of me and
7:39:26opened the glove box rummaged until he
7:39:29came came up with a
7:39:30flashlight wait here I'm going to check
7:39:33it
7:39:34out he opened his door and got out I
7:39:38tried peering through the windshield to
7:39:39see for myself but the windows were so
7:39:42fogged I saw
7:39:44nothing I opened my door and stepped out
7:39:47immediately getting pummeled by the hard
7:39:50pounding rain as my foot squished down
7:39:52into the wet
7:39:53mud
7:39:55I lowered my head and ran around
7:39:58the front of the car to where I could
7:39:59sort of see Wes kneeling next to the
7:40:02tire I stopped beside him and squatted
7:40:06yelled seriously a
7:40:10rock it looked like our tire had slammed
7:40:12into a huge Boulder and then gotten hung
7:40:15up on it Wes's front tire was literally
7:40:19off the ground he squinted rain sosing
7:40:23over his face as he looked surprised to
7:40:25see me I thought I told you to wait in
7:40:28the car
7:40:30you're not the boss of me I hollered
7:40:32through the rain and his face went from
7:40:35rock hard serious to amused softness in
7:40:38a
7:40:38second I said besides if you die I'm
7:40:43stuck out here all
7:40:44alone true he bellowed grabbing my wet
7:40:49hand with his and pulling me up I'm
7:40:52getting back in the car would the lady
7:40:54care to join me she would
7:40:58actually and instead of coming around to
7:41:00my side he opened his door and gently
7:41:03pushed me inside I giggled and climbed
7:41:06in scooting over to the middle of the
7:41:09bench seat and when his big body got in
7:41:12and the door slammed shut the inside of
7:41:15his car seemed incredibly
7:41:18insulated for a few seconds we were
7:41:20quiet each of us wiping water from our
7:41:23faces and pushing drenched hair from our
7:41:26eyes then he pulled out his phone and
7:41:29dialed a
7:41:30number I'm calling my Dad he said as he
7:41:34raised the phone to his ear looking at
7:41:36the steering
7:41:37wheel he can get here fast and his buddy
7:41:39has a tow
7:41:41truck cool I looked down and
7:41:45whispered oh no my
7:41:49Chucks they were covered in wet sticky
7:41:52mud and that made me more upset than it
7:41:54should have they were just sneakers
7:41:57after all and it was just
7:41:59mud but I'd wanted them to stay as
7:42:02perfect as they'd been when Wes had
7:42:04walked them over to the counter at
7:42:06devish and paid for them maybe I could
7:42:09wash them in Bleach when I got
7:42:11home I pulled down the visor and looked
7:42:13in the mirror as he told his dad what
7:42:15had happened and where we were I wiped
7:42:18under my eyes in an attempt to eradicate
7:42:21raccooni but my trembling fingers were
7:42:24no good I flipped the visor back up and
7:42:27took a deep breath
7:42:29I was shaken by the
7:42:31accident but this weird surge of
7:42:33adrenaline I was feeling was something
7:42:36more because it occurred to me as Wes's
7:42:39car sat there with one tire in the air
7:42:43that life was
7:42:45unpredictable no matter how much
7:42:47planning you did and no matter how safe
7:42:50you played it some intangible was always
7:42:54going to rear its head and shake things
7:42:56up which made me wonder
7:43:00if my mom had still been
7:43:02alive would she have changed her tune by
7:43:04now on the whole bad boy thing it seemed
7:43:08to me that because of things like car
7:43:10accidents and lost loves life and death
7:43:14and broken
7:43:16hearts we should grab every moment and
7:43:19absolutely Devour the good
7:43:21parts wouldn't she want
7:43:24that for me to ad lib my life instead of
7:43:27living by some type 12o career new
7:43:32script he'll be here in 10
7:43:34minutes Wes dropped his phone into the
7:43:37cup holder and turned his eyes on
7:43:40me I am so sorry
7:43:43lib I suppressed a shiver and wondered
7:43:46if he'd meant to call me that he usually
7:43:49only said it when he was
7:43:51teasing but this time it had been
7:43:54personal
7:43:55intimate almost as if we really were a
7:43:58thing
7:44:00my voice didn't sound right as I
7:44:02said no worries you didn't drive me head
7:44:06first into a tree so we're
7:44:09good that made his face
7:44:12soften
7:44:14good I rolled in my lips and felt
7:44:17nervous mostly because I really really
7:44:21really wanted to tell him how I felt and
7:44:23what I
7:44:24wanted I took a deep breath and said
7:44:30Wes hey your curls are
7:44:33back his brown eyes narrowed a little
7:44:36and his lips turned
7:44:39up I think I've missed
7:44:42them he started to lift his hand like he
7:44:45was going to touch my wet
7:44:47hair but then he
7:44:50didn't disappointment shot through me as
7:44:52I breathed around a
7:44:54laugh weren't you the one who demanded I
7:44:57straightened my hair
7:45:00I
7:45:01was his skin was wet from the rain too
7:45:05obviously and a drop was poised to
7:45:08Tumble off the tip of his
7:45:09nose those brown eyes traveled all over
7:45:13my face dipping over my eyes and cheeks
7:45:17and
7:45:17mouth before he said in aoar deep
7:45:21voice and I think I regret all of
7:45:24it I miss your clothes and curly hair
7:45:29you look best when you're
7:45:32you you look best when you're
7:45:36you oh
7:45:38God we were so close lips mere inches
7:45:42away as we sat face to face on his front
7:45:45seat I felt like there was no one else
7:45:48in the world nothing but me and Wes in
7:45:51the steamy windowed cab of his car as
7:45:53the rain cocooned Us in
7:45:56showers I wanted him to lean in and kiss
7:45:58me me I wanted it so badly but I knew he
7:46:03wouldn't how did I
7:46:06know because I'd spent my entire life
7:46:08making sure Wes Bennett knew just how
7:46:11much I would never ever ever want him to
7:46:14kiss me I said on a
7:46:17breath GE thanks
7:46:21Bennett his voice was quiet when he
7:46:24said I mean
7:46:27it and then I kissed
7:46:30him going for it I slid my arms around
7:46:33his neck and pressed my lips against his
7:46:36turning my head just a little and
7:46:38scooting my hips over on the bench seat
7:46:41the smell of his cologne mixed with the
7:46:43smell of the rain and he was all around
7:46:46me Wes was frozen for a second unmoving
7:46:50as my mouth rested against
7:46:52his the thought that he might not want
7:46:54to kiss me crossed my mind too late
7:46:58could I retreat and play this off do a
7:47:01whole oops I was unbalanced from the
7:47:04accident and fell on your mouth with my
7:47:06mouth
7:47:08bit and then as if struck by lightning
7:47:12Wes inhaled and His Hands tightened on
7:47:14the sides of my face he was kissing me
7:47:18back I was kissing Wes Bennett and he
7:47:21was kissing me it went from breathily
7:47:24timid to scalding hot in an instant he
7:47:28angled his head and kissed me the way
7:47:30Wes was supposed to kiss wild and sweet
7:47:35and entirely overconfident all at the
7:47:37same time he knew exactly what he was
7:47:40doing as his big hands slid into my
7:47:43hair but it was the shudder in his
7:47:46breath and the slight Tremor in his
7:47:48touch that I drew on the fact that he
7:47:51felt as out of control as I
7:47:53felt Wes slid me even closer to him on
7:47:56the seat so we were pressed chest to
7:48:00chest for the first time in my life I
7:48:03understood how people could just forget
7:48:05where they were and have wild
7:48:07indiscriminate sex in the front seat of
7:48:09a car I wanted to wrap my legs around
7:48:12his waist climb all over him and explore
7:48:15everything that had ever been done with
7:48:17two bodies and I was still sort of a
7:48:22virgin I couldn't stop my hands from
7:48:25going everywhere as I got lost in the
7:48:27all- encompass ing everything of our
7:48:30moment I slid them under his hoodie as
7:48:33his teeth nipped at my bottom lip and
7:48:36then they were on his face feeling the
7:48:39rigid solidity of his jawline while he
7:48:42kissed me like it was his job and he
7:48:44wanted a
7:48:45raise he made a sound when I dug my
7:48:48hands into his hair like he liked it and
7:48:52I wanted it to rain like that forever
7:48:54and never
7:48:55stop it wasn't until he said my name
7:48:59whispered it into my mouth three times
7:49:02that I came back to
7:49:04reality
7:49:06Liz
7:49:08mhm I opened my eyes but my vision was
7:49:12kind of
7:49:13unfocused I smiled when I saw his pretty
7:49:16face so close to
7:49:18mine
7:49:20what his dark eyes were heavy litted as
7:49:23he
7:49:24said I think my dad's here
7:49:29what I felt totally out of it as I
7:49:32blinked up at him and his hand moved
7:49:34slowly back and forth on my lower
7:49:37back I don't think I would have heard or
7:49:40noticed if a pack of wild dogs had run
7:49:44by then I saw the headlights next to his
7:49:48car
7:49:50oh I took a deep breath and ran a hand
7:49:53over my hair squinting as the too bright
7:49:55light illuminated everything I whis
7:49:59ered
7:50:01I should probably go talk to him
7:50:04before he opens your
7:50:06door his lips were almost touching my
7:50:10ear as he quietly spoke to
7:50:13me
7:50:15okay my ears were barely open as I felt
7:50:18his hot mouth whisper over my
7:50:22earloop
7:50:24Libby I shook my
7:50:27head not
7:50:29uh-uh that earned me a deep dirty
7:50:32chuckle that curled my toes inside my
7:50:36shoes his breath tickled my nerve
7:50:38endings as he
7:50:40said I'm good with staying if you don't
7:50:42mind my dad seeing us like
7:50:45this fine go I muttered and pushed on
7:50:50his chest feeling somehow possessive of
7:50:54Wes Bennett as I reveled in the feel of
7:50:56his chest under my Palms
7:50:59his eyes went down to my hands for the
7:51:01quickest of seconds and his forehead
7:51:04creased but just like that it was normal
7:51:07again I gave him a look and
7:51:10said I was done with you
7:51:13anyway whatever Miss
7:51:17nuh his smile told me he knew exactly
7:51:20how much he'd affected me he opened his
7:51:23door and
7:51:24said be right back
7:51:27Elizabeth I I'll be here
7:51:29wessy I said which received more dirty
7:51:33chuckling before he got out and slammed
7:51:36the door behind
7:51:37him I adjusted my wet clothing and
7:51:40attempted to straighten my
7:51:42hair oh my God oh my God did that really
7:51:46just
7:51:47happen I felt like Wes's dad would be
7:51:49able to tell just by looking at me that
7:51:51I'd been making out with his
7:51:53son but there probably wasn't a lot I
7:51:56could do about that hey
7:51:59the passenger door opened and Wes leaned
7:52:02in he's going to need web's truck to get
7:52:04my car out so he's just going to take us
7:52:07home and come
7:52:08back I blinked and wondered why I hadn't
7:52:12spent my entire life being a struck by
7:52:14the sight of his
7:52:16face I let my eyes stumble all over
7:52:20it
7:52:21okay his lips turned up into a sexy grin
7:52:26and I swear to God he knew what I was
7:52:29thinking he put his mouth next to my ear
7:52:31and
7:52:33said I was not ready for him to be here
7:52:38yet I felt warm all over when he lifted
7:52:41his head and we smiled at each
7:52:45other I wasn't either I
7:52:49admitted come on kids I'm getting soaked
7:52:52out here Mr Bennett yelled from
7:52:54somewhere behind Wes before he got into
7:52:57his car and closed the door Wes held out
7:53:00his hand and when I grabbed it and
7:53:03climbed out of the car he didn't let go
7:53:07instead he laced his long fingers
7:53:09between mine without looking at me and
7:53:12led me over to his dad's car in the
7:53:14pouring
7:53:15rain Wes Bennett was holding my
7:53:19hand he opened the back door and a big
7:53:23box was on the seat other side his dad
7:53:27said and Wes let go of my hand and
7:53:30opened the front passenger door for me
7:53:33instead I got in and he gave me a wink
7:53:36before closing my
7:53:37door I was in deep trouble because that
7:53:41wink straight up made me
7:53:44laded thanks I said as he shut my door
7:53:48ran around to the other side and got in
7:53:50the back Not only was it awkward sitting
7:53:53in the front with his dad but I
7:53:56desperately wanted to sit by Wes
7:53:59thanks for coming to get us Mr Bennett
7:54:02no problem sweetie he buckled his seat
7:54:05belt and put the car in
7:54:06Drive last time I gave you a ride
7:54:09somewhere you were pretty
7:54:10tiny I smiled and remembered the time
7:54:13he'd driven all of us kids to Dairy
7:54:15Queen when there was a massive power
7:54:18outage Dairy Queen right that had to be
7:54:2110 years ago he nodded that's
7:54:26right as he turned out on to Harbor
7:54:29Drive I wished I could see Wes's face
7:54:32and know what he was thinking was he
7:54:34freaking out like me in the good way did
7:54:38he want to find a way to get together
7:54:40later and make out a little
7:54:42more was he interested in me like really
7:54:46interested because I was beside myself
7:54:49with excitement bursting with the
7:54:53utter that could only follow our little
7:54:56game of 5 minutes in the steaming
7:54:59car his dad started talking about the
7:55:01car situation and he and Wes got lost in
7:55:04automobile talk all the way home as I
7:55:07stared out the window and replayed the
7:55:09kiss in my head when Mr Bennett pulled
7:55:12into my driveway I grabbed Helena's to
7:55:14go bag and my purse I had no idea what
7:55:17to say so I blurred it out thanks for
7:55:21the ride of course nice seeing you
7:55:24honey I got out slammed the door and ran
7:55:28through the rain until I reached our
7:55:29covered porch only I couldn't not say
7:55:34anything else to us right I couldn't let
7:55:37the night's Last Words Be from Stuart
7:55:40Bennett I watched as their car left my
7:55:43driveway and pulled into theirs next
7:55:45door and as soon as I saw Wes get out in
7:55:48the garage I set down the stuff in my
7:55:50hand and charged out into the rain once
7:55:54I got to the corner of his yard I
7:55:55stopped and yelled Wes
7:55:58the rain pounded down on me but I yelled
7:56:01his name again as I tried to get his
7:56:04attention he looked over but it was
7:56:07raining too hard for me to see his face
7:56:10the rain flattened my soaking hair
7:56:12against my face but I
7:56:14shouted thanks for
7:56:17everything I ran back to the porch
7:56:19pushed back my dripping hair and got out
7:56:22my
7:56:23key
7:56:25Libby I smiled and turned around and
7:56:28there was Wes standing in the pouring
7:56:31rain in my front
7:56:32yard I tilted my head and
7:56:35said
7:56:37what you said
7:56:40everything his clothes were drenched as
7:56:43he
7:56:44shouted does that mean you're thanking
7:56:46me for the kiss
7:56:48too I laughed and picked up Helena's
7:56:51food I should have known you'd ruin it
7:56:55nuh-uh
7:56:56bbom he dug his hands into his wet hair
7:57:00and made it all stand straight up as he
7:57:02grinned at me through the
7:57:04storm that was too perfect for anything
7:57:06to
7:57:07ruin good
7:57:09night
7:57:11nuh-uh I sighed and felt warm inside
7:57:15even as my wet body
7:57:18shivered good night
7:57:23Bennett oh my God oh my God oh my God I
7:57:27closed the door behind me and rested my
7:57:29dripping forehead on the cool of the
7:57:31white
7:57:32wood what was that and what did it
7:57:37mean holy
7:57:40crap that good huh I turned around and
7:57:44Helena was sitting on the chair beside
7:57:46the fireplace with Mr Fitz pervert
7:57:48asleep in her lap a book still in her
7:57:51hand and a smirk on her
7:57:54face I wanted to be mad or embarrassed
7:57:58but I couldn't stop
7:58:00smiling I pushed at my wet hair and
7:58:03said you have no
7:58:06idea come in the kitchen before we wake
7:58:08up your dad she got up making Fitz grunt
7:58:12out a cranky murf as he jumped down to
7:58:15the floor Helena dropped the book and
7:58:19gestured to me while walking toward the
7:58:21kitchen once we got there she grabbed
7:58:23her food before whipping a towel at me
7:58:25and saying now start talking
7:58:29I giggled I couldn't help it and rubbed
7:58:33the towel over my
7:58:35head I
7:58:37um I had a really great time with Wes
7:58:40tonight
7:58:42yeah she opened the too container and
7:58:45stuck it in the
7:58:47microwave
7:58:50and
7:58:52and I kept rubbing my hair replaying his
7:58:56mouth on mine the sound of his breathing
7:58:59the smell of his cologne the feel of his
7:59:02hands holding my
7:59:05face hey excuse me can you focus for a
7:59:09minute that made me laugh
7:59:12again I can't
7:59:14okay I'm sorry but I can't focus on
7:59:17anything because I had an incredible
7:59:19night with Wes Bennett of all
7:59:22people an incredible night that ended
7:59:25with him kissing me like a world
7:59:27champion being
7:59:29kisser I am shook
7:59:32Helena I am not sure how I mean yes
7:59:36you've hated him forever but I still
7:59:39feel like you guys have been leading up
7:59:41to
7:59:42this
7:59:44really I set the towel down on the
7:59:47counter have
7:59:49we God I've been so
7:59:52oblivious somehow for so long I'd
7:59:55managed to be fully unaware that West
7:59:58was attractive funny and smart as well
8:00:01as the one person I was totally able to
8:00:03be myself around I'd been so blinded by
8:00:07the idea of Michael that I hadn't even
8:00:10realized what was happening between
8:00:12us but it's good yes Helena leaned on
8:00:17the counter and beamed at
8:00:18me it seems to me that it's really
8:00:22really
8:00:24good I opened the fridge still smiling
8:00:27and
8:00:28said I'm scared to say it but I think it
8:00:32could
8:00:33be
8:00:35although I was still concerned about
8:00:38Alex I knew what he' said about her but
8:00:42sometimes feelings changed just because
8:00:44she wasn't his type the other day didn't
8:00:47mean that with more time together and
8:00:49more time to gaze upon her beauty he
8:00:52wouldn't change his
8:00:53mind she clapped her hands together what
8:00:56if he asks you to
8:00:58prom I almost dropped the orange juice
8:01:01when she said that I straightened a
8:01:03little and pictured his face as I stared
8:01:06into the fridge the way his dark eyes
8:01:09had looked almost black after we had
8:01:11stopped
8:01:12kissing it was Wes Bennett we were
8:01:15talking
8:01:15about and yet it
8:01:18wasn't it was Wes
8:01:215.0 the grown ass man version and I felt
8:01:25like I was in over my head because I had
8:01:27no no idea where things stood with us
8:01:30he'd kissed my face off that was the
8:01:34only thing I knew to be
8:01:35true did he still think he was helping
8:01:38me with
8:01:39Michael he couldn't right and I didn't
8:01:42know if he wanted to pursue anything
8:01:44with me but I was desperately hopeful
8:01:47that the fervor of the kiss meant that
8:01:49he
8:01:49did the whole Michael thing felt silly
8:01:53now I wished I could go back in time and
8:01:56play Michael and Laney's personal Cupid
8:01:59instead of pulling all the stunts I
8:02:01did I hoped that my heart tohe heart
8:02:04with Michael by the piano had given him
8:02:06what he needed to ask Lanie
8:02:08out I'm sure he won't I closed the
8:02:12fridge and was realistic about
8:02:15prom even though my poor confused little
8:02:18love lover side was squealing at the
8:02:21thought regardless of my pining I'd told
8:02:25Jos I'd go with her and I needed to
8:02:28stick to that so far I'd lucked out and
8:02:32my shittiness as a friend hadn't cost me
8:02:34anything with her so I needed to step up
8:02:37and keep that
8:02:38going plus I've got a date would Jos
8:02:42care if you went with him oh yeah but
8:02:47maybe we could all go
8:02:48together dressing up with two of my
8:02:51favorite
8:02:52people it sounded so much more amazing
8:02:55than what I had previously envisioned as
8:02:57the perfect prom
8:02:59well whatever happens Helena said I'll
8:03:03be happy to underwrite a pre-prom salon
8:03:06and spa
8:03:07day I unscrewed the juice lid and said
8:03:11that sounds really fun but you have to
8:03:14come
8:03:15along and I meant it I wanted her there
8:03:19with me she raised an
8:03:22eyebrow
8:03:24really I Shrugged and said I mean if you
8:03:27piss me off I'll just tell your stylist
8:03:30that you secretly want mini
8:03:31bangs can you even imagine how they
8:03:34would look on this Runway of a
8:03:36forehead they look terrible on everyone
8:03:40period after that I went up to my room
8:03:43and sent Joselyn a text about Wes which
8:03:46led to us going back and forth for like
8:03:49an
8:03:50hour
8:03:51me I think I might like like him her
8:03:56obviously me I think he might like like
8:04:01me her tell me every little thing that
8:04:05happened I didn't mention that we'd
8:04:07kissed which was weird because I usually
8:04:10told her everything well except for
8:04:13lately but it had been so perfect both
8:04:17the kiss and his sweet comment about my
8:04:20style that I didn't want J's opinion to
8:04:23Mar the evening's
8:04:25flawlessness I stayed up way too late
8:04:28making a Wes and Liz playlist and went
8:04:30to sleep thinking of his face after he'd
8:04:32kissed me because the way he' looked at
8:04:36me like he couldn't believe it had
8:04:38happened and also like he wanted to do
8:04:40it again weakened my knees with its mere
8:04:45recollection his eyes had been soft and
8:04:48hot all at the same time intense and
8:04:52sweet and I wished there was a way to
8:04:55Archive the memory so it could never be
8:04:58lost how was I ever going to
8:05:05sleep chapter
8:05:0713 nice boys don't kiss like that oh yes
8:05:11they do Bridget Jones's
8:05:16Diary oh bless you Joselyn took the
8:05:20coffee from my hand and raised it to her
8:05:22mouth and why are you wearing
8:05:25that I looked down at my adorable owl
8:05:28dress before unlocking my
8:05:30locker why wouldn't I I love
8:05:33it she made a face as she sipped from
8:05:36her cup and leaned against the locker
8:05:38beside
8:05:39mine I was hoping you were going to
8:05:42stick with the new
8:05:44look you look best when you're
8:05:47you my face got hot as I remembered Wes
8:05:50and the rain and his hands and my
8:05:54hair I'd been on high alert since
8:05:56arriving at school that that morning
8:05:58looking for him around every corner and
8:06:01in every hallway my stomach wilded at
8:06:03the thought of laying eyes on him of him
8:06:06laying eyes on me right
8:06:08back
8:06:10lord he hadn't texted since the kiss but
8:06:14it had been late when he' dropped me off
8:06:16and he'd still had to go back for his
8:06:18car I grabbed my history book from the
8:06:21top shelf and said I still like my
8:06:24dresses sue me don't give me wrong she
8:06:28said swirling the coffee around in her
8:06:31cup you're adorable no matter what you
8:06:33wear but you were just Ultra adorable
8:06:36and modern
8:06:37casual thanks although that outfit is
8:06:41totally ruined now from my bloody
8:06:43nose joselyn's mouth twitched as she
8:06:46stared into the hole in her
8:06:49lid I still cannot believe that
8:06:52happened right I slammed my locker and
8:06:56Jocelyn and I went to first block
8:06:58I was so disappointed not to run into
8:07:00Wes especially since his radio silence
8:07:03led me to obsess all morning and become
8:07:06paranoid that the kiss was nothing to
8:07:07him and absolutely nothing had changed
8:07:10between us I nearly squealed when my
8:07:13phone buzzed at lunch I just sat down
8:07:16with my strawberry salad and lemonade
8:07:18when I saw it was a text from
8:07:20Wes Wes I like your bird
8:07:24dress I looked around but didn't see him
8:07:27at any of the busy cafeteria
8:07:30tables me they're owls where are you Wes
8:07:36in the library saw you walk by a few
8:07:39minutes ago owls are birds
8:07:42BTW me yep Wes stop yelling at me about
8:07:48birds Buck Bal I just said you look cute
8:07:50in your dress that's
8:07:52all I smiled and then immediately looked
8:07:56around to make sure he wasn't lurking
8:07:58nearby watching my pathetic
8:08:01reaction
8:08:03me you didn't actually say that Wes sure
8:08:08I did
8:08:10me
8:08:12um
8:08:13Wes got to run talk
8:08:16later I set my phone on the table like
8:08:19it was burning my
8:08:21hands talk
8:08:23later that was never good right what
8:08:26kind of ominous sentiment was that I
8:08:29opened the packet of vinegret on my tray
8:08:32and drizzled it over the salad before
8:08:33picking the phone back up and
8:08:36texting
8:08:38me
8:08:40yep if I'd been obsessing in the morning
8:08:43I was ridiculous in the afternoon
8:08:45because I needed to know more more than
8:08:49the fact that we'd shared a good kiss
8:08:52did he like me did he want to hold hands
8:08:55and maybe kiss more was is he maybe
8:08:58going to be my boyfriend in the near
8:08:59future or was the kiss just part of our
8:09:02fun Hangouts and didn't really mean
8:09:04anything to him at all and it occurred
8:09:07to me as I walked down the hall with Jos
8:09:09after school that I hadn't had a chance
8:09:11to tell Wes that I was no longer
8:09:13interested in
8:09:14Michael he knew that right I mean the
8:09:18kiss had to have expressed that
8:09:20sentiment do you think Wes is going to
8:09:23ask you on a date
8:09:24date my stomach flipped over as a flat
8:09:27of the kiss hit
8:09:29me I hope
8:09:31so who would have thought J pushed the
8:09:35exit door and I followed her out into
8:09:37the sunshine as she said the boy who
8:09:40tortured you in grade school is now your
8:09:43romantic dream
8:09:44booat
8:09:47weird what's happening over there I said
8:09:51distracted there was kind of a crowd
8:09:53over by the main
8:09:55driveway I bet it's a fight
8:09:58Jos said probably Matt Bond and Jake
8:10:02Headley Matt and Jake were two of those
8:10:04guys at our school when word got out
8:10:07that they had beef with each other the
8:10:09entire student body lost their over
8:10:12the possibility of something going down
8:10:15we weaved through the crowd mostly
8:10:17because my car was in the lot that they
8:10:18were all blocking I said I did hear that
8:10:23they were going to throw hands you did
8:10:26not just say that owl dress well that's
8:10:29literally what I heard word for word I
8:10:33moved past a couple people and said
8:10:35excuse
8:10:36me oh my
8:10:40God my head whipped around to look at
8:10:43Jocelyn what she was staring over my
8:10:47shoulder without looking at me she
8:10:49covered her mouth with one hand and
8:10:51pointed with the other I turned my head
8:10:54and followed her finger to a car that
8:10:57was parked in the center of the
8:10:58Concourse it was a black Grand Cherokee
8:11:02and the fact that it was parked there
8:11:03was
8:11:04unusual but that wasn't what made it a
8:11:06focal
8:11:07point no what made it unusual was that
8:11:11the entire driver's side of the car was
8:11:14covered with white boxes boxes that each
8:11:17had a black letter on them and there was
8:11:20a big orange Square framing them all the
8:11:24side of the car was a huge Boggle board
8:11:27a Boggle board that had diagonal letters
8:11:29in red spelling out the question
8:11:33prom holy crap Liz get up there Bailey
8:11:38Wetzel was standing in the crowd and she
8:11:40grinned at me and held out an arm
8:11:44go I was slow to absorb what was
8:11:47happening until I saw
8:11:50Michael he was standing next to the car
8:11:53smiling at me and holding a posture that
8:11:56said said want to play Bogle with me
8:12:00Liz it was a
8:12:03promposal Michael was asking me to
8:12:06prom I felt confused and disjointed as I
8:12:11smiled and everyone standing around
8:12:14started
8:12:15clapping Michael was asking me to prom
8:12:19in a romantic thoughtful
8:12:21way but I was in
8:12:24shock it was totally what I'd wanted a
8:12:26week ago but not
8:12:30anymore I slowly walked toward him my
8:12:33legs rubbery as I
8:12:35approached I heard Jos say let him down
8:12:38easy
8:12:40Liz I looked at Michael's smiling
8:12:44face what the
8:12:46hell I couldn't think of any way to make
8:12:48this make
8:12:49sense every single encounter I'd had
8:12:52with Michael had basically ended in
8:12:55disaster vomit bloody knows Lany talk so
8:13:00why was this even
8:13:01happening the irony right having so many
8:13:05people watching me made me feel hot and
8:13:07itchy
8:13:09uncomfortable when I reached his side I
8:13:12had no idea what to
8:13:14say he looked handsome and warm and like
8:13:19everything I daydreamed about since
8:13:22kindergarten and nothing like
8:13:24Wes I could finally see him him us
8:13:28clearly and now that I could I didn't
8:13:31want the one to be Michael
8:13:34anymore this is incredible I said
8:13:38looking at the Boggle car he'd covered
8:13:40shoe boxes with white paper and fixed
8:13:43them to the side to make the board which
8:13:46was a task that would have taken a ton
8:13:48of
8:13:49time I can't believe you did
8:13:52this I've known you long enough Liz to
8:13:56know that you'd need a big gesture what
8:13:58about Lany I interrupted I was
8:14:01whispering so no one else could hear me
8:14:04hoping I could save both of us some
8:14:06public
8:14:07humiliation he did a little shrug thing
8:14:10and said around a
8:14:12smile I really took to heart what you
8:14:14said in the music room just like you I
8:14:17want the possibility of something
8:14:19more
8:14:21so why not you why not
8:14:25us I I felt my mouth drop open and I
8:14:29quickly slammed it
8:14:31shut but come
8:14:34on seriously someone actually listened
8:14:38to my terrible ideas for once I could
8:14:40just kick myself for rambling about Wes
8:14:42without actually naming a
8:14:44name it's like I'd never seen a romcom
8:14:48before or something talk about your
8:14:51Comedy of
8:14:52Errors I glanced into the crowd and oh
8:14:56no
8:14:57there was
8:14:58Wes we locked eyes as he stood next to
8:15:02the building watching me with an
8:15:04unreadable
8:15:05expression I swallowed and stared
8:15:08intently at his face the face that had
8:15:10been kissing mine the last time i' had
8:15:12seen him I silently begged those brown
8:15:16eyes to give me an answer or for him to
8:15:18give me a
8:15:20smile give me something Bennett
8:15:24please but he turned his head and looked
8:15:27away from
8:15:28me before that punch to the gut could
8:15:30even register I watched Alex Sidle up
8:15:34beside him she smiled and grabbed his
8:15:37arm pulling him down closer so she could
8:15:40talk into his
8:15:41ear I could barely breathe as I stared
8:15:44at them while everyone in the courtyard
8:15:46looked at
8:15:48me my silence was getting awkward and I
8:15:51was very aware of it slowly people began
8:15:55cheering and clapping but I could only
8:15:57hear my heart beating in my
8:15:59ears amidst everything I kept my eyes on
8:16:03Wes he lifted his hands put two fingers
8:16:07in his mouth and whistled
8:16:09loudly and then he dropped his right arm
8:16:12across Alex's shoulders and gave me a
8:16:15thumbs
8:16:16up
8:16:18rejection bitter and hot washed over
8:16:21me the other night the kiss everything
8:16:27was a
8:16:28blip Wes didn't feel about me the way I
8:16:31felt about
8:16:33him this was how it was supposed to
8:16:36end this is getting embarrassing and I
8:16:40have to take off in like 2
8:16:42minutes do you maybe want to
8:16:45answer Michael looked uncomfortable as
8:16:47he
8:16:48waited I took a deep breath and simply
8:16:51accepted the flowers he was holding I
8:16:54couldn't manage the words when Wes was
8:16:55snuggling with Alex
8:16:57and whistling for me to say yes then
8:17:00Michael flipped the poster over
8:17:02revealing a backside that said she said
8:17:05yes in the same Boggle
8:17:08format the people standing around
8:17:10clapped and thank God started
8:17:13dispersing while I stood there feeling
8:17:15Shell
8:17:16Shocked Michael squeezed my hand and
8:17:19said I really do have to go now but this
8:17:23felt right after our talk in my dad's
8:17:25room last night we can work out the
8:17:27details tomorrow
8:17:29okay um sounds
8:17:33good you're talk last night Joselyn
8:17:37stepped in front of me as soon as
8:17:39Michael turned away her eyes
8:17:42narrowed you were with Michael
8:17:45Young I felt the blood drain from my
8:17:47face as my lies caught up to me I
8:17:51fumbled for words and said I told you we
8:17:54were watching movies you said you were
8:17:56hanging out with
8:17:57Wes she shook her head as she said in a
8:18:00low voice what is wrong with you you're
8:18:04so screwed up about romantic
8:18:06that you lie to your best friend and for
8:18:08what to go out with a guy who's already
8:18:11talking to someone
8:18:12else I swallowed feeling the urge to
8:18:16defend myself even though I knew I was
8:18:18in the
8:18:19wrong maybe if you weren't so judgmental
8:18:23I could have been honest with you but
8:18:26you make it so so hard
8:18:28sometimes Jos looked at me like I was
8:18:32disgusting and she was
8:18:34right are you saying it's my fault
8:18:37you're a
8:18:39liar of course not God I'm so sorry I
8:18:44just her eyebrows went down as she
8:18:47squinted at me and said so what's the
8:18:50deal with Wes then do you even like
8:18:53him I
8:18:55sigh was there is there any reason not
8:18:57to spill it all to Jos
8:19:00now well that part is
8:19:03true I like him a
8:19:05lot she folded her arms over her
8:19:08chest so what were you doing at
8:19:11Michael's house if you like
8:19:13Wes I adjusted my messenger bag and
8:19:16glanced at Kate and Cassidy who I hadn't
8:19:19even noticed were behind her until
8:19:22then I went there with Wes
8:19:25actually you went there there with Wes
8:19:27and ended up with Michael in his dad's
8:19:29bedroom you're kidding right um it was
8:19:33actually a music room she opened her
8:19:36mouth but before she could speak I said
8:19:40but I know that's not the
8:19:41point Wes was fine with the whole thing
8:19:44he wanted me to go talk to
8:19:46Michael he did she gave me a stare that
8:19:50made her look like her mother like a
8:19:52lawyer who had a lying Criminal on the
8:19:54stand and she was about to make him
8:19:58cry yes I cleared my throat and decided
8:20:02to come clean I
8:20:05said see he'd been helping me oh my God
8:20:10you schemed with him to get Michael
8:20:12didn't you her eyes squinted in
8:20:16revulsion I knew you'd lose your
8:20:18when he showed up again what is wrong
8:20:21with you nothing I blinked and tried to
8:20:25justify it
8:20:27he and Laney weren't officials so that
8:20:29explains the clothes and the
8:20:30straightened hair doesn't it were you
8:20:33lying to me when you guys were shopping
8:20:35too I just looked at
8:20:38her I mean what could I even
8:20:41say and you liking him was total
8:20:44too only at first screw you Liz she
8:20:49pulled her bag higher on her shoulder
8:20:52and turned away from
8:20:53me Kate gave me a closed mouth half
8:20:56smile like she felt bad for me but she
8:21:00was still going to go with Jos and
8:21:02Cassidy looked at me like I was kind of
8:21:05awful there was a time when those two
8:21:08wouldn't have taken sides but since I'd
8:21:10blown them off one too many times on
8:21:12senior events they were team Joss all
8:21:15the
8:21:16way wait my throat was pinched and my
8:21:20vision blurred as I watched her walk
8:21:22back toward the
8:21:23school just wait
8:21:26I'm sorry
8:21:28okay don't you need a ride home not from
8:21:32you she just threw up an arm in the air
8:21:35and yelled I'd rather
8:21:40walk hey you Helena was sitting on a
8:21:44stool in the kitchen when I got home
8:21:46working on her laptop in paints
8:21:48splattered pajama pants and a
8:21:50hoodie how was your
8:21:53day me I dropped my back pack on the
8:21:57floor drained from crying all the way
8:21:59home and went to the fridge to scope for
8:22:02something
8:22:03good oh my God I forgot did you see
8:22:07Wes she looked up from her screen nearly
8:22:11squealing those words and I had to
8:22:14remember not to roll my
8:22:15eyes it wasn't her fault that the story
8:22:18line had
8:22:20changed um yeah we were out of chocolate
8:22:24pudding and that made me want to cry
8:22:28again what is that
8:22:31face I Shrugged and shut the
8:22:34door Michael asked me to
8:22:37promp what Helena's mouth dropped wide
8:22:41open you are kidding
8:22:45me
8:22:46nope I went to the pantry and looked for
8:22:49cookies wondering if the feeling in my
8:22:51stomach that wouldn't go away was an
8:22:53ulcer I didn't even really know what an
8:22:56ulcer was
8:22:57was did you turn him
8:23:00down
8:23:01no I gritted my
8:23:04teeth actually I said
8:23:07yes you said
8:23:10yes she said it like I'd said yes to
8:23:13selling my organs on the black market or
8:23:16something why would you do that oh my
8:23:19God does Wes no oh poor
8:23:22Wes I slammed the pantry door and
8:23:25grabbed my backpack
8:23:27poor Wes poor Wes had no real interest
8:23:30in little Liz but I didn't have the
8:23:32energy to tell her that or to think
8:23:35about it for another second because in
8:23:37addition to how Soul crushingly rejected
8:23:39I felt by his apparent lack of feelings
8:23:41for me I felt duped betrayed by my own
8:23:46heart because I had known better than to
8:23:48get drawn in by him I'd always known
8:23:53better yet it had happened I'd Fallen
8:23:56for basketball shorts and gross cigars
8:23:59and Rain soaked
8:24:01kisses how could this have
8:24:03happened beyond that I'd schemed and
8:24:07lied and screwed up my very best
8:24:09friendship in the
8:24:10world and oh yeah I'd also gotten in the
8:24:14way of Laney and Michael two people who
8:24:17actually seemed to be made for each
8:24:19other I
8:24:21said yes he knows and trust me he's fine
8:24:26and to go
8:24:27study
8:24:29Liz I Stood Still but didn't turn her
8:24:33way
8:24:36what I know you thought you wanted
8:24:39Michael but do you really want to stick
8:24:41with over romanticized ideas when you
8:24:44can have an awesome real
8:24:47thing over romanticized
8:24:51ideas as close as she got sometimes
8:24:54helina didn't get it
8:24:57my mother would have understood my
8:24:59mother would have been cheering the
8:25:01entire time for me to go for the
8:25:03mark I'd ignored her Golden Rule and was
8:25:06suffering the
8:25:08consequences
8:25:10Liz I have to go
8:25:13study wait are you mad at
8:25:16me I hoisted my backpack and let out my
8:25:20breath
8:25:22nope not at all
8:25:26do you want no God I said it through
8:25:30gritted teeth and it came out way
8:25:32harsher than I'd intended but I couldn't
8:25:35do this not with
8:25:37her I just want to be left
8:25:40alone
8:25:45okay chapter
8:25:4814 I am not running away
8:25:51How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
8:25:56I'm going for a run I called as I jogged
8:25:59down the stairs I rounded the corner to
8:26:01the living room and found my dad on the
8:26:03couch with his feet propped up on the
8:26:05coffee table watching the news I was all
8:26:08tied up in knots and didn't know what to
8:26:11think about anything so instead of
8:26:13torturing myself I was going to visit
8:26:15the
8:26:16cemetery no less torturous
8:26:19right I looked toward the kitchen but
8:26:22the only movement I saw in there was Mr
8:26:24Fitz pervert rolling on the rug buug
8:26:26under the table and kicking his catnip
8:26:28Mouse with his back
8:26:30Paws where's
8:26:32Helena the second I walked in she said
8:26:35she had to go had an errand or something
8:26:37like
8:26:38that are you
8:26:40okay I had no interest in a heart tohe
8:26:43heart so I said yep just tired think I
8:26:49might be coming down with a
8:26:50cold he nodded looked at me like he knew
8:26:54something and said
8:26:56Helena said the same
8:26:58thing oh yeah I put on my
8:27:02headphones
8:27:04bummer he
8:27:06sighed be
8:27:08careful we'll
8:27:10do after turning on my Garmin I took off
8:27:13down the street intentionally avoiding
8:27:15laying eyes on his car I mean what was
8:27:19with that anyway why did I feel
8:27:22something like Nostalgia when I laid
8:27:23eyes upon Wes's beat up old car that
8:27:26seemed to have survived our accident
8:27:28without any visible
8:27:29damage Nostalgia that made me want to
8:27:32take a back to his car ala Beyonce in
8:27:35the lemonade video and cause some
8:27:37visible
8:27:38damage I'd been replaying everything in
8:27:41my mind every awful second of what had
8:27:44happened and Wes's rejection was
8:27:46starting to piss me off because it
8:27:48wasn't just that he'd rejected me no it
8:27:52was the fact that he'd known my end goal
8:27:55was Michael yet he'd still pushed hard
8:27:57on the charm with his dinner date and
8:27:59his secret area teasing and his straight
8:28:02from The Notebook kiss in the rain he
8:28:05knew I was susceptible to romance and
8:28:07he'd used it against me and for what he
8:28:11was moving on to Alex So what had even
8:28:13been the
8:28:14point as if that wasn't bad enough every
8:28:17time I thought of Joselyn my stomach
8:28:20hurt so intensely that I wanted to puke
8:28:23how was I ever going to earn her
8:28:24forgiveness
8:28:26I'd been a lying weasel lately and no
8:28:29matter how much I Justified it I
8:28:32couldn't find a defense to make it okay
8:28:35I turned into the cemetery and was glad
8:28:37it was getting dark because I didn't
8:28:39feel like being polite or talking to
8:28:42anyone who might be
8:28:44nearby sometimes there were other people
8:28:46there doing the same thing as me and
8:28:49sometimes they liked to small
8:28:51talk I just wanted to sit by my mother
8:28:54spill the details of my latest debacle
8:28:57and then bask in the imaginary feeling
8:28:59that I wasn't
8:29:01alone but when I got closer I could see
8:29:05a figure standing right where I wanted
8:29:07to be and just like the time when Wes
8:29:10showed up there I was instantly and
8:29:13illogically I
8:29:14rate who was in my
8:29:17spot the person turned around as I
8:29:20approached and I saw that it was
8:29:22Helena her face was serious and she was
8:29:26still wearing those paint stained
8:29:28pants Liz what are you doing here she
8:29:33asked I raised my hand toward my mom's
8:29:36grave
8:29:37marker no offense but what are you doing
8:29:41here she looked startled by my
8:29:43appearance almost like I'd interrupted
8:29:47something she dragged a hand through her
8:29:49hair and
8:29:50said I guess you could say I needed a
8:29:53word with your mother
8:29:57why
8:29:58what I inhaled through my nose and tried
8:30:01to stop this unexpected rage from
8:30:05escaping you didn't know my mother so I
8:30:08don't understand why you would need a
8:30:09word with her you never spoke to her or
8:30:12heard her voice or even watched a silly
8:30:15romantic comedy with her so call me
8:30:17irrational but it just seems really
8:30:19weird that you're camped out where she's
8:30:22buried I was hoping she might know how I
8:30:25can get through to you she blinked fast
8:30:29and pressed her lips together Crossing
8:30:31her arms over her
8:30:33chest listen Libby I know don't call me
8:30:37that what Libby it's what she called me
8:30:43but that doesn't mean that you need to
8:30:46okay what is this she said it in a tired
8:30:50voice that had a bit of an edge to
8:30:52it I feel like you're trying to fight
8:30:55with me
8:30:57I blinked
8:30:58fast no I'm not I totally was nobody who
8:31:04I wanted to fight with was speaking to
8:31:05me so why not
8:31:07Helena
8:31:09really yes really because you just got
8:31:12mad that I called you by the nickname
8:31:14that I've heard your dad and the nextd
8:31:16door neighbor call you I don't see you
8:31:18having a problem with anyone but me
8:31:20saying it well they actually knew
8:31:24her she looked at me
8:31:26exuding disappointment at the brat I
8:31:28knew I was
8:31:30being I can't help that I
8:31:32didn't I
8:31:34know it wasn't about whether or not she
8:31:37knew my mom it was about the
8:31:39infringement of my mother's memories her
8:31:43legacies I mean it wasn't IR rational to
8:31:45try to keep those pure was
8:31:47it she sighed and dropped her arms to
8:31:50her
8:31:51sides you do know Liz that your mother's
8:31:55memory won't disappear if you get closer
8:31:57to
8:31:58me excuse
8:32:00me the words felt like a physical slap
8:32:03because God she just lent Voice to my
8:32:07biggest
8:32:08fear how would it not disappear if
8:32:11Helena got
8:32:12closer because no matter what he said it
8:32:15had disappeared for my
8:32:17father when he talked about my mom now
8:32:21it was like he was referencing some
8:32:23historical figure that he was incredibly
8:32:25fond of
8:32:27her place in his heart was gone and she
8:32:30only lived in his head
8:32:31now Helena tilted her head and said it
8:32:36won't you'll still remember her exactly
8:32:39as you do right now even if you let me
8:32:42in a
8:32:43little how do you know that I blinked
8:32:47back tears and
8:32:49said what if it does
8:32:51disappear I know that you're great for
8:32:54my dad and super cool
8:32:56and I know that you're here to stay I
8:32:57know all of that but it doesn't change
8:33:00the fact that you're here and she isn't
8:33:02and that feels sort of
8:33:05shitty her mouth snapped
8:33:08shut of course it
8:33:10does I would have been lost without my
8:33:13mom I totally get that it feels
8:33:17awful but pushing me away is not going
8:33:20to bring her
8:33:22backless I sniffled and wiped at the
8:33:24tears on my cheek
8:33:27yeah I think I know that
8:33:30Helena maybe if we no I gritted my teeth
8:33:35and wished she would disappear so I
8:33:37could cry and lie on the soft
8:33:39grass but if she wasn't leaving I'd have
8:33:43to I put in my earbuds scrolled to Enter
8:33:46Sandman by Metallica and said maybe if
8:33:50you just leave me alone and let me live
8:33:52my life without trying to fill her shoes
8:33:54every time I turn around we'll I'll be
8:33:57happier I didn't wait for her to respond
8:34:00I started running the way I'd come only
8:34:03I pushed my legs to Sprint as fast as I
8:34:05possibly could I swiped at my cheeks and
8:34:08tried outrunning the
8:34:10sadness but it stayed with me all the
8:34:12way
8:34:13home I was almost to my house when I saw
8:34:16Wes getting out of his
8:34:18car he slammed the door and started
8:34:20walking across the street to where I was
8:34:23before he noticed me
8:34:25he gave me a chin nod and said
8:34:30hey hey like we hadn't kissed or texted
8:34:35or talked on the phone or eaten
8:34:37hamburgers
8:34:39together just
8:34:42hey wow he really was a jerk wasn't he I
8:34:47stopped running and yanked out one of my
8:34:50earbuds hey by the way thanks for
8:34:53helping me get
8:34:54Michael the words spelled
8:34:57out I was aware of my own horribleness
8:35:00as I racked my brain for something to
8:35:01say that would make him hurt as badly as
8:35:04I did and I couldn't seem to stop
8:35:08myself his eyes moved over my face
8:35:10before he
8:35:12said
8:35:13sure although he does still have that
8:35:15pesky leany around I think you'll have
8:35:18to deal with that before you officially
8:35:20get
8:35:21him nah I waved a hand and swallowed
8:35:25down my emotions with a
8:35:27smile he told me that he's not going to
8:35:29make a
8:35:30move he
8:35:32did he rubbed his eyebrow and looked
8:35:35past me for a minute before his gaze
8:35:37returned to my
8:35:39face my breath caught as I looked at the
8:35:42same eyes that had been hot and wild for
8:35:44me in the front seat of his car and he
8:35:48said well you're about to get everything
8:35:50you've ever wanted then aren't
8:35:52you why didn't you tell me that before
8:35:56um it was hard to talk when we were
8:35:59driving off a cliff and then you were
8:36:01eating my
8:36:02face I inhaled through my
8:36:05nose I was so pissed at him at myself so
8:36:10damned disappointed and I wanted to make
8:36:12him feel some of that like I'm really
8:36:15going to share all my secrets with the
8:36:17person who was just doing me a solid and
8:36:20filling in for Mr
8:36:22wght he swallowed and crossed his arms
8:36:25over his
8:36:26chest good
8:36:29thinking
8:36:30right I expelled a fake laugh and said I
8:36:34mean no offense but you guys couldn't be
8:36:37more different he's like a gourmet
8:36:40restaurant and you're a Super Fun sports
8:36:43bar he's a limo and you're a Jeep
8:36:46Wrangler he's an Oscar winning film and
8:36:49you're a car racing movie both good but
8:36:54good for different people
8:36:56those dark eyes narrowed
8:36:59marginally is there a point to this book
8:37:02bom nah I reached up pulled out my
8:37:07ponytail and dug my fingers into my
8:37:09hair it felt like a victory the way he
8:37:13was visibly
8:37:14irritated just grateful to you for
8:37:17everything you did for
8:37:18me
8:37:20really
8:37:21yep I did my best to force my mouth into
8:37:24a giant happy
8:37:27smile you should ask Alex to prom by the
8:37:30way yeah I was already planning on
8:37:33it I felt that one in my
8:37:36heart picturing him smiling at Alex made
8:37:39the backs of my eyelids
8:37:41burn I said through that fake
8:37:44smile we should all go as a group that
8:37:47would be
8:37:48fun he looked pissed when he said don't
8:37:52you think it's a bad idea to mix gourmet
8:37:54restaurants with super Fun sports
8:37:56bars I
8:37:58Shrugged Alex is like a very nice
8:38:00restaurant so I'm sure if you two stick
8:38:03together you'll level up to like a
8:38:06trendy sushi
8:38:07place he looked at me like I was
8:38:11scum and he was
8:38:13right he flipped his keys around his
8:38:15fingers and
8:38:17said even so I'd rather go solo with
8:38:22Alex then his eyes moved down to my
8:38:24t-shirt and running
8:38:26shoes and his face got a pitying I know
8:38:29all look to
8:38:31it
8:38:33oh you just saw your
8:38:36mom i
8:38:38blinked what does that have to do with
8:38:41anything he gave me a look like I should
8:38:44know what he
8:38:46meant
8:38:48what come on are you that lacking in
8:38:53self-awareness you hold on to this no of
8:38:55your angelic mother and the romantic
8:38:58comedy like her greatest wish in life
8:39:00was for her daughter to be swept off her
8:39:02feet in high school just because
8:39:05she liked those movies doesn't mean that
8:39:07if you live your life like an actual
8:39:09teenager you're disappointing
8:39:11her what are you even talking about just
8:39:15because come on Liz at least be honest
8:39:18with yourself here you dress like her
8:39:22you watch the shows she watched and you
8:39:24do everything your power to behave as if
8:39:26she's writing the screenplay of your
8:39:28life and you're her
8:39:30character my throat achd and I blinked
8:39:34fast as his words came at me like
8:39:37blows but news flesh you're not a
8:39:40character in a movie you can wear jeans
8:39:44sometimes and straighten your hair if
8:39:45you feel like it and curse like a sailor
8:39:48and honestly do whatever you want and
8:39:50she'd still think you're amazing because
8:39:52you
8:39:53are I guarantee she would have found you
8:39:56charming as when you were smoking a
8:39:58swisser in the secret
8:40:00area I know I
8:40:02did and when you attacked me in my car
8:40:05talk about out of
8:40:07character it was oh my God I did not
8:40:11attack you are you kidding me with
8:40:13that it was official I was dying of
8:40:18mortification because cuz while I'd been
8:40:20humming along to love songs since the
8:40:22make out session in his car he'd been
8:40:24considering it terribly out of character
8:40:27for
8:40:27me he ignored me and said but you're so
8:40:31caught up in this idea of who you think
8:40:33your mom wants you to be or Michael or
8:40:37even me forget me be who you want to be
8:40:41just do it and quit playing games
8:40:45because you're hurting
8:40:46people shut up
8:40:49Wes I was crying again and I hated him
8:40:53at that moment for not not understanding
8:40:56but also for being
8:40:58right I thought regardless of the prom
8:41:01situation that he was the one person who
8:41:04had understood about my
8:41:06mom I wiped my cheeks with the backs of
8:41:09my
8:41:10Knuckles you don't know about my
8:41:12mom
8:41:13okay good don't cry
8:41:17Liz he swallowed and looked
8:41:21panicked I just don't want you to miss
8:41:23out on the good stuff
8:41:25like what
8:41:27you I gritted my teeth I wanted to howl
8:41:31and kick things
8:41:33over instead I said are you the good
8:41:37stuff
8:41:38Wes his voice was quiet when he
8:41:42said you never
8:41:44know yes I do
8:41:46know you're not you're the opposite of
8:41:50everything I
8:41:52want you're the same person you were
8:41:54when you ruined Ed my little free
8:41:56library and you're the same person my
8:41:58mom thought was too wild for me to play
8:42:01with I took in a shaky breath and
8:42:05said you can have the forever spot and
8:42:08let's just forget this whole thing ever
8:42:11happened I turned and walked away from
8:42:13him and I was just opening the front
8:42:15door when I heard him say fine by
8:42:21me I fell asleep before 8 that night
8:42:24listening to death with dignity by sofan
8:42:27Stevens on
8:42:29repeat I slept the entire night with my
8:42:32Beats on and that soft song haunted my
8:42:35ears until
8:42:37morning mother I can hear you and I
8:42:41longed to be near you I dreamed of her I
8:42:46rarely did anymore but that night I
8:42:49chased my mother in my
8:42:51dreams she was trimming roses in the
8:42:53front yard and I could hear her
8:42:56laughing but I couldn't see her
8:42:59face she was too far away all I could
8:43:03make out were her gardening gloves and
8:43:05her fancy black dress with the ruffled
8:43:07collar and no matter how much I walked
8:43:11or how fast I ran I wasn't close enough
8:43:13to see her unblurred face I ran and ran
8:43:18but she never got any
8:43:20closer I didn't wake up with a gasp like
8:43:22in the movies though that might have
8:43:25made me feel
8:43:27better instead I woke up with a sad
8:43:31resignation as the song continued its
8:43:33soft solemn
8:43:39Loop chapter
8:43:4215 I love you I've loved you for 9 years
8:43:46I've just been too arrogant and scared
8:43:48to realize it and well now I'm just
8:43:51scared so I realized this comes at a
8:43:54very inopportune time
8:43:55but I really have this gigantic favor to
8:43:57ask of you choose me marry me let me
8:44:03make you
8:44:05happy oh that sounds like three favors
8:44:08doesn't
8:44:09it My Best Friend's
8:44:12Wedding the days leading up to prom
8:44:14cropped by mostly because I was the
8:44:17world's biggest loner Joselyn wasn't
8:44:20talking to me Wes was just a neighbor
8:44:22now and Helena was completely avoiding
8:44:24me
8:44:26I worked every night and picked up extra
8:44:28hours so at least I was making bank in
8:44:31my solitary pathetic life and I watched
8:44:34my favorite movies when I wasn't working
8:44:37so I had emotional support DVDs to keep
8:44:39me from thinking about all the things I
8:44:41didn't want to think
8:44:43about Michael met me at my locker the
8:44:45day after the proposal and he was as
8:44:48thorough and efficient as he'd always
8:44:50been we discussed what time he'd pick me
8:44:53up what colors we'd bear wearing and
8:44:55where we were
8:44:57eating he was
8:44:59perfect which was why as I did my hair
8:45:02on the day of prom I tried to convince
8:45:05myself that maybe everything had
8:45:08happened for a reason I mean the J thing
8:45:11was still a big nightmare that I had to
8:45:13fix and it felt oddly empty that Helena
8:45:16was out for the day when I was getting
8:45:18ready for
8:45:19prom but maybe I'd been meant to
8:45:22momentarily go over to the dark side
8:45:24with Wes in order for me to really
8:45:26appreciate the incredible lightness of
8:45:29Michael A cautionary tale
8:45:32perhaps I turned on the Michael playlist
8:45:35as I straightened my hair and tried
8:45:37getting excited for the night the bottom
8:45:40line was that I was going to prom with
8:45:42Michael Young the boy I'd loved for as
8:45:44long as I'd been old enough to create
8:45:47memories it was actually
8:45:49happening the problem with the playlist
8:45:52was that all the songs now had West
8:45:54memories attached to them the Van
8:45:56Morrison song from my original meet cute
8:45:59with Michael now made me think of Wes
8:46:01bumping into us in the hallway and then
8:46:03giving me a smartass look about my taped
8:46:06windshield and the Ed Sheeran song from
8:46:09the party now reminded me of Wes giving
8:46:11me his pants and holding them up for me
8:46:15after I got vomited
8:46:17on damn it Bennett get out of my
8:46:20head I finished my hair and moved on to
8:46:22makeup applying casual Glam so I looked
8:46:26better than usual but not too made up
8:46:29when I was finally finished I checked my
8:46:32phone and of course there were no
8:46:36messages I put on my dress it was so
8:46:40pretty I wanted to be buried in it by
8:46:43the way but it felt slightly
8:46:46wrong Joselyn should have been there
8:46:49putting on her dress too and Helena
8:46:52should have been hanging around making
8:46:54jokes and taking
8:46:56pictures I shushed the voice that added
8:46:59Laney to that list including her as
8:47:02someone who should have been getting
8:47:03ready to have her dream prom with
8:47:05Michael but couldn't because I'd decided
8:47:07to take her out of the
8:47:09equation just when I was about to go
8:47:11downstairs I heard a door slam and
8:47:14looked out my window Wes walked out his
8:47:17front door in a black tuxedo and he was
8:47:20carrying a corsage box he hopped down
8:47:23the steps with his usual relaxed gate
8:47:26and his dark sunglasses made him look
8:47:29rebellious in addition to
8:47:31handsome Kind of
8:47:33Perfect and it hurt my eyes to look at
8:47:37him I pressed a hand to my stomach as he
8:47:39walked to his car which was parked in
8:47:42the driveway for
8:47:43once it looked like he'd washed it
8:47:46because all the mud that had been
8:47:47splattered on the side for as long as I
8:47:49could remember was finally
8:47:52gone he climbed inside started it up and
8:47:57I felt something pinch in my Center when
8:47:59he drove
8:48:00away I went downstairs and was putting
8:48:03on my shoes when the doorbell rang while
8:48:06I felt a couple of half-hearted
8:48:07butterflies in my stomach the
8:48:10anticipation was
8:48:12minimal but and I was hopeful with this
8:48:16butt if I really pushed myself perhaps
8:48:19there was still the possibility of an
8:48:21enjoyable night with a sweet datee I
8:48:24still stood and ran my hands over the
8:48:26front of my dress walked over to the
8:48:28front door and pulled it
8:48:31open
8:48:32wow Michael was on my doorstep his
8:48:36tuxedo perfectly accentuating his blonde
8:48:38hair and tan
8:48:40skin he looked like
8:48:42Hollywood like one born to wear
8:48:45tuxedos he smiled at me and it was all
8:48:49warmth and good feelings as he
8:48:51said wow you look great great
8:48:55Liz thanks
8:48:58stop my dad stroe into the room with a
8:49:01half smile on his face cargo shorts and
8:49:04a gut milk shirt I need to get pictures
8:49:07you two Helena had stuff to do he said
8:49:12his eyes landing on me but she'd kill me
8:49:15if I didn't get
8:49:17photos I bet the inside of my cheek as
8:49:19the guilt curdled in my stomach because
8:49:23even though I'd meant what I had said to
8:49:25Helena I felt like trash for making her
8:49:28feel
8:49:29bad of course Michael gave my dad a
8:49:33charming smile and said nice to see you
8:49:37again Mr
8:49:38bbam you too Michael how are you
8:49:41folks as he said this my dad gestured
8:49:45for us to go stand in front of the piano
8:49:47I heard your dad is a colel now he is we
8:49:52walked to the piano and faced the camera
8:49:55he got the official title change last
8:49:57year do we have to use a title for you
8:50:00no my father thought he was
8:50:03funny like Junior Colonel
8:50:06Michael come on dad he's not the son of
8:50:09the Chicken Guy I rolled my eyes and
8:50:12Michael laughed just take the
8:50:15picture my dad directed us to stand in a
8:50:18super awkward pose with Michael's arm
8:50:21around my waist and I just shut my mouth
8:50:24and smiled to get it over with
8:50:27thankfully he was quick and after about
8:50:29four shots he let us leave have fun
8:50:34kids sorry about him I muttered to
8:50:38Michael as we walked to his
8:50:40car he's just as dorky as he always was
8:50:44your dad was always great he said
8:50:48smiling as he opened the passenger door
8:50:50for
8:50:51me yeah I suppose
8:50:54I grabbed a handful of long dress and
8:50:57got in and looked out the window after
8:50:59he shut the door and walked around to
8:51:01the other
8:51:02side I looked at my dad on the porch
8:51:06smiling and waving all by
8:51:08himself and it occurred to me that he
8:51:11could have been like that all along if
8:51:13he'd never met
8:51:15Helena
8:51:17alone it was wrong that she wasn't
8:51:20there so you're good with
8:51:23Sebastian he pulled out of the driveway
8:51:25and I noticed his car was Immaculate
8:51:28clean vacuumed not a speck of vent dust
8:51:33the interior was
8:51:35perfect from somewhere in the center of
8:51:37my brain I wondered if the inside of
8:51:40Wes's car looked like that too I mean
8:51:43he'd clearly washed the outside of the
8:51:46Bronco was it to impress
8:51:49Alex
8:51:51Liz what hm I blinked and came back from
8:51:55the
8:51:56delay yes Sebastian's sounds
8:52:00great when we got to the restaurant the
8:52:02hostess led us to a stunning table with
8:52:05white linens a vase full of lies and
8:52:07white candles already lit I sat in one
8:52:11of the chairs and said
8:52:14wow Michael sat across from me and
8:52:17immediately put his napkin on his
8:52:19lap I assumed that romantic little Liz
8:52:23would want flowers before senior
8:52:25prom wait what you got this for
8:52:30me he smiled
8:52:32inside it was the least I could do I
8:52:36kind of caught you off guard last minute
8:52:38with the whole
8:52:40thing I lifted off my seat just enough
8:52:42to lean forward and smell the Gorgeous
8:52:46Flowers how could he be that
8:52:48thoughtful it was such a perfect
8:52:53gesture yeah
8:52:55not going to lie I was shocked when you
8:52:58asked after what you said in the music
8:53:01room I decided what the
8:53:04hell what exactly had I
8:53:06said I racked my brain but I was
8:53:10clueless I'd been so focused on Wes and
8:53:13Alex that I really hadn't paid attention
8:53:15to Michael at
8:53:17all bad move
8:53:20Liz what about
8:53:22Lany a shadow p passed over his face
8:53:25before quickly
8:53:26disappearing he said she's going to prom
8:53:30with her
8:53:31friends
8:53:33oh and you're good with
8:53:36that here's the thing I have no idea
8:53:41what she wants and I don't want to waste
8:53:44senior prom trying to figure it
8:53:46out I'd rather the waiter showed up
8:53:49interrupting him with menus specials and
8:53:52drink offerings and I could tell Michael
8:53:55was
8:53:56relieved it was clear to me that he
8:53:58wanted Laney but was too afraid to put
8:54:01himself out there he'd rather pretend I
8:54:04was his magical date safe little Liz but
8:54:08maybe something
8:54:10more than risk going for it and getting
8:54:14denied that should have made me feel
8:54:16like
8:54:17garbage but I didn't really feel
8:54:19anything about it in fact I felt the
8:54:23same about his non-b burning love for me
8:54:26as I would about his opinion on the
8:54:28whole ketchup versus mustard condiment
8:54:31War utterly
8:54:34unaffected holy crap I did not
8:54:38care I felt more relaxed just by
8:54:41admitting it to
8:54:43myself because really why was I forcing
8:54:48it Michael wasn't the
8:54:51one no big right
8:54:54and maybe I wasn't going to find the
8:54:56one that was okay too
8:54:59right why was I wasting my life trying
8:55:02to live up to the ridiculous
8:55:03expectations that I was setting for
8:55:06myself I changed the subject by pointing
8:55:09out a 20s Art Deco print on the wall and
8:55:12by the time the food came we were in the
8:55:14thick of a conversation about The Great
8:55:17Gatsby I hear what you're saying Liz I
8:55:20do but Daisy's sole purpose in the story
8:55:22is to be Gatsby's unattainable dream she
8:55:27is the green light so she can't be a
8:55:30monstrous
8:55:32antagonist I rolled my eyes and put a
8:55:35piece of steak in my mouth wrong his
8:55:38memory of her is the green light
8:55:41remember his count of Enchanted objects
8:55:43had diminished by one once he reconnects
8:55:47with her in the flesh she's no longer
8:55:49the green
8:55:50light he nodded and spread butter on his
8:55:52roll
8:55:54that is
8:55:56true I said Daisy in the flesh is a
8:56:00monstrous
8:56:01antagonist she toys with his affection
8:56:04cheats on her husband and lets Jay cover
8:56:07for her when she drives over her
8:56:09husband's
8:56:10mistress then when he's murdered and
8:56:12left to be a pool bobber she leaves town
8:56:15without ever looking
8:56:17back well he said reaching out and
8:56:21grabbing his water glass
8:56:24those are all valid points I still don't
8:56:28think she's the villain here but you've
8:56:31succeeded in knocking her down a notch
8:56:33for
8:56:34me aha victory is mine I dipped my Fork
8:56:39into the creamy baked potato and scooped
8:56:41out a
8:56:42bite at this rate before I die I'll be
8:56:46responsible for turning hundreds of
8:56:48readers against Daisy
8:56:50Buchanan a life well lived I suppose
8:56:55we' just finished with dinner when
8:56:56dessert showed up he'd taken the liberty
8:56:59of ordering cheesecake for me ahead of
8:57:01time and I very nearly fainted with
8:57:04gratitude I stuck my Fork into the
8:57:07cheesecake and asked how did you know I
8:57:10love
8:57:11cheesecake he leaned his face forward
8:57:13and
8:57:14said I
8:57:16didn't I just wanted
8:57:19it I smiled and felt the cheesecake
8:57:22slide against the roof of my mouth
8:57:26while it was still
8:57:28thoughtful hey you guys came a voice
8:57:31from behind me I picked up my water and
8:57:34took a sip Michael said hey
8:57:38Lane the water went down the wrong tube
8:57:41and I started coughing a tiny squirt
8:57:44shot out of my mouth but I quickly
8:57:46recovered catching the spray with my
8:57:48napkin though it took me a solid 10
8:57:51seconds to stop coughing I could feel
8:57:53the eyes of everyone in the restaurant
8:57:55on me as Michael asked you
8:57:59okay I blinked away tears and nodded a
8:58:02couple more cough spurts forcing their
8:58:04way out before I was able to
8:58:06say I'm fine another
8:58:11cough I tried for a calm Smile as I took
8:58:14a deep breath and attempted to regain my
8:58:17composure I hate when that
8:58:20happens Michael tried making me feel
8:58:22less embarrassed by grinning and saying
8:58:26I swear it happens to me like once a
8:58:29month same Lany said walking around the
8:58:33table as if to make sure I could see
8:58:35just how pretty she looked while I tried
8:58:38being a human
8:58:40Fountain drinking is hard
8:58:43right Michael laughed and she smiled at
8:58:47him and I kind of felt like spitting
8:58:49water at the two of them not because I
8:58:52cared that they seemed adorable
8:58:54perfect but because it made me miss
8:58:57West Lany must have realized she was
8:59:00just standing and staring at my date
8:59:03because she blinked and
8:59:05said oh well I should go back to my
8:59:09table have fun tonight
8:59:12guys you too Lane I muttered and did a
8:59:17little wave with my
8:59:20Fork yeah some attitudes were hard to
8:59:23change
8:59:25Michael looked a little lost for a
8:59:26second after she walked away but he
8:59:29recovered and took a bite of his
8:59:32cheesecake wow this is really
8:59:36good I nodded and stabbed my cheesecake
8:59:39with my Fork scraping the filling all
8:59:41over the fancy
8:59:43plate yeah I don't know what I was
8:59:47thinking but I
8:59:49asked did you know her when you lived
8:59:52here the first time Lany that
8:59:55is his mouth turned up a little and he
8:59:59grinned oh yeah she was a total brat
9:00:03back then and used to tell on me all the
9:00:06time at recess when I didn't let her
9:00:08play kickball with us I hated that
9:00:11little
9:00:12snot okay that made me
9:00:15smile I hated her
9:00:18too honestly I expected her to grow into
9:00:21a total
9:00:22witch how didn't
9:00:25she but somehow she
9:00:28didn't did you know that she volunteers
9:00:31every weekend at the animal
9:00:34shelter
9:00:35wow
9:00:37seriously even though I was suddenly
9:00:39empathetic to Michael and Laney's
9:00:41starcross lovers plate that didn't mean
9:00:44I wanted firsthand knowledge that Laney
9:00:46Morgan was a better human than
9:00:49me um no I did not know that and she's
9:00:54saving up so she can go on a mission
9:00:56trip this
9:00:57summer I wanted to flip the table and
9:00:59yell something along the lines of are
9:01:01you kidding
9:01:03me instead I nodded and
9:01:06said I had no
9:01:09idea but let's talk about you Liz he set
9:01:13his chin on his
9:01:15hand Wes told me that you're literally
9:01:18the coolest person he's ever met so
9:01:21you've changed a lot too I mean the last
9:01:24time I saw you before we moved you wore
9:01:27a kimono and bright red lipstick to a
9:01:30neighborhood cookout you ate your hot
9:01:32dog with
9:01:34silverware I laughed in spite of myself
9:01:36as he
9:01:37said that's one hell of a level
9:01:41up I cleared my throat and said Wes was
9:01:46exaggerating I may not eat hot dogs with
9:01:48a knife and fork anymore but I haven't
9:01:51changed that
9:01:52much don't be
9:01:55modest he pulled out his phone and
9:01:57started scrolling clearly looking for
9:02:00something after around 30 seconds he
9:02:03muttered boom and held out his phone for
9:02:06me to look
9:02:09see I took his phone and looked at the
9:02:12screen it was a message thread between
9:02:15Michael and Wes dated around the time
9:02:17Wes agreed to help me Wes she's
9:02:21definitely cute but she's also cool
9:02:24AF Michael she is thought she was always
9:02:28kind of high
9:02:30strung
9:02:31Wes Liz
9:02:33is different she's the kind of girl who
9:02:37wears a dress when everyone else wears
9:02:39jeans she listens to music instead of
9:02:42watching TV she drinks black coffee has
9:02:45a secret tattoo runs three miles every
9:02:48day rain or shine and still practices
9:02:50the
9:02:51piano Michael you sound cuffed already
9:02:56LOL Wes whatever what time are you going
9:03:00to be
9:03:02there my eyes were scratchy as my heart
9:03:05stuttered in my
9:03:06chest I gave an exaggerated eye roll and
9:03:09handed back his
9:03:10phone that isn't
9:03:12real
9:03:14what I
9:03:16sighed and it occurred to me that it was
9:03:19a good time to fess
9:03:21up maybe if I confessed my sins he could
9:03:25follow his heart and find happiness with
9:03:28Laney because why should they suffer
9:03:30just because I was a
9:03:32show I looked at him and
9:03:35said he was trying to help me I asked
9:03:39Wes to talk me up to you so that's why
9:03:42he said all
9:03:44that he was doing me a
9:03:46favor his eyebrows
9:03:49crinkled are you
9:03:52serious I didn't want to make make
9:03:53things weird with him and Wes so I just
9:03:56glossed over how plny it all had been
9:03:59and pretty much just said that Wes did
9:04:01me that tiny
9:04:02favor he gave a little
9:04:05chuckle you really haven't changed that
9:04:07much then have
9:04:09you that made me
9:04:11laugh sadly
9:04:13not I went on to tell him about how my
9:04:16waitress uniform had actually been my
9:04:18favorite dress and how I'd totally made
9:04:21up the diner and we both laughed until
9:04:25we had tears in our
9:04:26eyes I excused myself and went to the
9:04:29restroom while he settled the bill and
9:04:32once the door closed behind me it was a
9:04:35struggle to keep the tears at
9:04:37Bay
9:04:38because Wes's
9:04:40text
9:04:42God yes he'd sent it to help me but all
9:04:46those things he'd
9:04:47said I wanted him to see me that way so
9:04:51badly he'd gone above and beyond what
9:04:54I'd asked him to do when he'd sent that
9:04:56text and now I would never be the
9:04:59same oh hey Liz Lany came out of a
9:05:04bathroom stall and began to wash her
9:05:07hands hey Lany I turned on the faucet
9:05:11even though I hadn't even used the
9:05:13bathroom and started washing my
9:05:16hands I love your dress it's
9:05:19gorgeous she smiled at me in the
9:05:22mirror than thanks same only more I
9:05:27muttered and gestured toward the long
9:05:29pink
9:05:31gown are you
9:05:33okay I gave her side eye in the
9:05:37mirror yeah
9:05:39why she Shrugged and looked down at her
9:05:42hands you're here with Michael Young and
9:05:46he got you flowers and cheesecake and
9:05:50can't stop looking at
9:05:52you but you look
9:05:55sad but out
9:05:58lanville is it because of your
9:06:01mom
9:06:03what I was so shocked by her words that
9:06:06I stopped lathering my hands the only
9:06:09sound in the bathroom was the faucet
9:06:11continuing to
9:06:12run oh I'm so
9:06:14sorry Lan's smile dropped I'm tactless
9:06:19I'm so sorry for saying anything I just
9:06:22think all the time when I see you about
9:06:26how hard it would be not to have your
9:06:27mom around especially during your senior
9:06:31year when everyone is sharing all these
9:06:33Milestones with their
9:06:35parents I'm so so sorry for bringing it
9:06:39up I stared at my foamy hands and didn't
9:06:43have
9:06:44words Lanie Morgan had seen something
9:06:47that no one else had and it felt totally
9:06:50foreign to be understood by her
9:06:54no it's
9:06:56fine I didn't know what you
9:06:59meant she turned off her faucet and
9:07:02reached for a hand
9:07:04towel
9:07:06still sometimes I can't help sticking my
9:07:08foot in my
9:07:10mouth I'm really
9:07:12sorry I raised my eyes to the mirror as
9:07:15I rinsed off the
9:07:17soap you're right though it sucks
9:07:23that's not what my problem is at the
9:07:25moment but that is always
9:07:28there I can't
9:07:31imagine my mom still talks about you all
9:07:33the
9:07:34time what I shut off the faucet and
9:07:39straightened your mom remembers
9:07:42me Lany
9:07:44nodded she used to come up to school for
9:07:47lunch remember how parents did that
9:07:50sometimes in elementary
9:07:51school I nodded and grabbed a towel
9:07:55remembering how Smiley her mom had been
9:07:57when she'd joined the
9:07:59class it was the year your mom
9:08:03died and she said you had the biggest
9:08:06saddest eyes she'd ever seen and she
9:08:09wanted to take you home with
9:08:11her she always used to get an extra
9:08:14order of fries in case you wanted some
9:08:18but you always just shook your head
9:08:21no I blinked hard then but couldn't stop
9:08:26one tear from
9:08:28escaping I don't remember
9:08:31that but I do remember how perfect to
9:08:34your mom
9:08:36seemed oh no Liz I didn't mean to make
9:08:39you
9:08:40cry Lany grabbed a tissue and handed it
9:08:43to me your makeup is perfect so knock it
9:08:47off that made me smile and I wiped up my
9:08:52eyes
9:08:54sorry she leaned toward the mirror and
9:08:57checked her teeth before
9:08:59straightening I should probably go back
9:09:02and Michael's probably wondering where
9:09:04his date
9:09:06went she had the same slow blank slow-mo
9:09:10disappointment that Michael had when she
9:09:12said
9:09:13that I breathed in through my nose
9:09:16before
9:09:17saying you know Michael only asked me as
9:09:20a friend right it was practically true
9:09:24so I didn't add this to my Tally of fibs
9:09:27that had been piling up
9:09:29lately I swear to God Laney Morgan
9:09:32looked nervous and
9:09:33awkward she said no way I saw the
9:09:38proposal that can't be
9:09:41true it
9:09:42is and Michael told me that you guys
9:09:45have been talking but he also thought
9:09:48maybe you weren't over your ex which is
9:09:51probably why he asked me to promise
9:09:53instead of you to begin
9:09:55with she looked like she didn't know how
9:09:57to respond but something that looked a
9:10:00little bit like hope sparked in her eyes
9:10:04I glanced in the mirror and ran a hand
9:10:06over my
9:10:07hair if you have feelings for him you're
9:10:11going to have to tell him he seems to be
9:10:14shy about putting himself out there
9:10:16which is why he could never be the lead
9:10:18in a romcom by the way so if you like
9:10:21Mike you're going to have to be
9:10:25brave her closed mouth turned up into a
9:10:28little smile and the girl's princess
9:10:31eyes were
9:10:33sparkling you
9:10:34know you're kind of cool
9:10:37Liz I was the antithesis of cool but it
9:10:41was nice to
9:10:43hear does that mean that you like
9:10:46him she nodded and her eyes got even
9:10:51bigger you have no
9:10:54idea I have never felt like this before
9:10:57about
9:10:59anyone I rolled my eyes and tossed the
9:11:03tissue well then don't drag your
9:11:07feet I went back to the table where
9:11:10Michael looked ready to
9:11:12go you ready he set his napkin on his
9:11:16plate and looked at me
9:11:18expectantly let's go prom it
9:11:21up he laughed and and we left and as we
9:11:25drove toward the convention center where
9:11:26prom was being
9:11:28held I wished I could just go
9:11:31home I was happy that Michael and Laney
9:11:33were destined to have their magical
9:11:36night but aside from that no good could
9:11:40come from
9:11:41prom
9:11:43Jos
9:11:44Wes
9:11:46Alex everyone I cared about who was
9:11:49going to brah didn't want to see me
9:11:53I finished that book already by the
9:11:56way which book I glanced out the window
9:12:00as we passed
9:12:01McDonald's he cleared his throat and
9:12:04when I turned my head he gave me a
9:12:07look that
9:12:10book that made me
9:12:12smile of course like its Brown Bag
9:12:17fodder that
9:12:19book he started talking about the
9:12:21Bridgton book and forgot about
9:12:23everything else in the world as he waxed
9:12:26poetic about how great a setting a
9:12:28pirate ship was he and I discussed it
9:12:31right up until he was turning off the
9:12:33car in the parking
9:12:35lot we should probably go in I guess I
9:12:39glanced at the Event Center through the
9:12:40windshield and was nervous for the first
9:12:43time since I'd been waiting for Michael
9:12:45to pick me
9:12:46up that's how these things
9:12:50work he pulled out the keys and said
9:12:54let's do
9:12:55this I swiped gloss over my lips and
9:12:58opened the door let's do this when we
9:13:03got inside Michael handed the security
9:13:05person our tickets and the big bald dude
9:13:08looked at me with bored
9:13:10eyes
9:13:11purse I shook my head and pointed to the
9:13:14front of my dress
9:13:16Pockets his eyebrows went up nice you
9:13:21kids have a good night
9:13:23you
9:13:24too we headed into Ballroom C and the
9:13:28second we walked through the doors it
9:13:30was like entering a different
9:13:32world no it wasn't magical it was a
9:13:36brightly colored way too loud wedding
9:13:38reception world the theme was Marty gr
9:13:41which basically just meant that
9:13:43everything was a jarring purple yellow
9:13:45or green
9:13:47color hey there's Wesley over by the
9:13:50papier-mâché baby
9:13:53I followed Michael's gaze and yes there
9:13:57was an enormous papier-mâché baby
9:13:59sitting at top uneven bigger
9:14:01papier-mâché
9:14:03cake my eyes scanned the crowd for
9:14:06Jos but I didn't see her anywhere my
9:14:10stomach flittered a little bit as
9:14:11Michael led me toward
9:14:13Wes stop it
9:14:15Liz I took a deep breath put my hands in
9:14:19my delightful pockets and walked across
9:14:22the room concentrating on not stumbling
9:14:24in my
9:14:25heels We Are Young by Fun period was
9:14:30blaring and it still felt like it always
9:14:33had as if the band was trying to
9:14:35convince us of
9:14:37something that is one huge baby I said
9:14:42smiling as we got
9:14:44closer right
9:14:47bizarre Michael grinned up at it and I
9:14:50was looking at him when a voice yelled
9:14:53Mrs Potato
9:14:54Head I looked past the baby and there
9:14:57was Adam I really did like Wes's friends
9:15:01I said hey don't call her that anymore
9:15:06her face is normal again I rolled my
9:15:09eyes at Noah who was standing behind him
9:15:13gee
9:15:14thanks I could have said almost normal
9:15:17you should be
9:15:19grateful that made me
9:15:21smile and I am
9:15:23thanks for the kindness you're welcome a
9:15:27louville Tha I rolled my eyes at his
9:15:31ridiculous Sports tie that was covered
9:15:33in red Cardinals and big obnoxious L's
9:15:37and
9:15:37said that's um
9:15:41unconventional but dope yes he ran a
9:15:45hand over it and said Cardinal
9:15:49Chic that tie is awful Laney said
9:15:53she just exited the dance floor with
9:15:56Ashley it's like you lost a bed or
9:15:59something Liz likes it no she doesn't
9:16:04Adam said looking at me with a question
9:16:06on his
9:16:07face do
9:16:09you I just smiled and Shrugged as New
9:16:12Year's Day by Taylor Swift came on see
9:16:15she's too nice to tell you she hates it
9:16:18or she's too nice to tell you that she
9:16:21loves it and you have no fashion
9:16:24sense then it's over there Noah yelled
9:16:27over the music and pointed to the dance
9:16:30floor with
9:16:32Alex I looked in the direction his
9:16:34finger was pointing and my stomach sank
9:16:37when I saw them they were dancing Wes's
9:16:41arms around Alex's waist as hers were
9:16:44locked around his neck she was wearing a
9:16:47red dress that made her stand out from
9:16:49the crowd and I couldn't come up with
9:16:51anything but compliments for her quite a
9:16:55catch he was leaning down so he could
9:16:58hear whatever she was saying and they
9:17:00were both
9:17:02smiling I felt
9:17:04queasy had he always looked so
9:17:06impossibly handsome and had he always
9:17:09smiled with such
9:17:11warmth I could feel his fondness for her
9:17:14from across the room just by staring at
9:17:16his really nice
9:17:18mouth the mouth that had been on my
9:17:21mouth
9:17:23when I attacked
9:17:26him I took a breath I really had fallen
9:17:29hard for him hadn't I I stared at them
9:17:33the picture perfect couple as Taylor
9:17:36Swift made my soul
9:17:38ache please don't ever become a stranger
9:17:42whose laugh I could recognize
9:17:45anywhere do you want a dance Michael
9:17:48looked down at me and I realized he'd
9:17:51probably misinterpreted my stare of
9:17:52longing as a wallflower's Wishful
9:17:56gaze um not yet I said pinning a smile
9:18:00on my lips even though my cheeks were
9:18:03warm and I felt ill all of a sudden
9:18:06unless you want to n I'm good he gave a
9:18:10shake of his head that was all
9:18:13relief want something to
9:18:15drink what I wanted was for him to stop
9:18:18trying to make us a thing we both knew
9:18:21it wasn't there with us but Michael
9:18:24seemed hellbent on going through all the
9:18:26Romantic motions I'd started the evening
9:18:29guilty of the same thing but quickly
9:18:31realized I couldn't force
9:18:33it I should have said something when we
9:18:35saw Lany at the restaurant because if
9:18:38I'd learned anything lately it was that
9:18:40Honesty was the best
9:18:42policy so I said I'd love a Diet Coke
9:18:47but don't hit concessions until after
9:18:49you find Laney and talk to her his eyes
9:18:52narrow
9:18:53narrowed come
9:18:55again it came with a smile and an extra
9:18:58helping of Texas on top yet it still did
9:19:02nothing for
9:19:03me I was fully recovered filled with
9:19:06Michael
9:19:07antibodies so I looked at his face that
9:19:10had been a part of so many childhood
9:19:12memories and I said she isn't hung up on
9:19:17her ex she's hung up on you go find her
9:19:22he stared at me for a second looking
9:19:25like he had no idea what to
9:19:27say I smiled at him and nodded just to
9:19:30show I didn't
9:19:32care you
9:19:35sure he looked concerned gazing at me
9:19:38the exact same way he had so many times
9:19:41when I'd been crying dramatically over
9:19:43neighborhood
9:19:45Shenanigans and it hurt my heart a
9:19:48little I was letting him go the dream of
9:19:52him
9:19:53and little Liz had never allowed herself
9:19:55to imagine that would ever
9:19:58happen yeah I'm
9:20:00sure I laughed and pointed toward the
9:20:03mass of overdressed
9:20:05students now go find
9:20:07her come here he pulled me into a hug
9:20:12and it was weird how emotional I felt he
9:20:16drawled into the top of my
9:20:18head thank you
9:20:20Lizzy I rolled my eyes and pushed at his
9:20:24shoulders will you go
9:20:26please he grinned and saluted me which
9:20:30should have been dorky but was a little
9:20:33adorable here I
9:20:36go I watched him head off in search of
9:20:39his happy ending and then I pulled my
9:20:41phone out of my pocket no
9:20:45messages I shut it off and put it back
9:20:48letting my hands settle into the
9:20:50pockets I looked at Giant baby at the
9:20:54lack of detail on his papier-mâché face
9:20:57and tried counting how many little smoes
9:20:59of paper it had taken to create that
9:21:02thing because I needed something
9:21:06anything to look at other than
9:21:09Wes I looked at that baby for a Solid 5
9:21:13seconds before my gaze shifted back to
9:21:15the dance floor and oh dear God Wes was
9:21:21looking at me
9:21:23he was dancing with Alex but our eyes
9:21:26met over her
9:21:27head my heart beat hard in my chest and
9:21:31my breath froze as those dark eyes
9:21:33dipped down over my dress then ran up to
9:21:36my hair before settling back onto my
9:21:40face I raised an eyebrow as if to say
9:21:45so i' had meant it to be playful like a
9:21:48diluted attempt at recapturing our
9:21:51banter
9:21:53but all it did was make his face
9:21:55tighten he frowned before he and Alex
9:21:58moved a little and he was no longer
9:22:00facing
9:22:02me I'll be right back I muttered not
9:22:06that anyone was listening and I headed
9:22:09out the door in the back of the
9:22:11ballroom I didn't really know where I
9:22:13was going in the enormous convention
9:22:15center but I needed to get away I
9:22:18couldn't stand another minute of prom
9:22:20and I definitely couldn't stand well
9:22:22looking at me like he hated
9:22:24me I wandered all the way down to the
9:22:27end of the long hallway and then I saw a
9:22:29stairwell which was the perfect place to
9:22:32hide for a while I glanced over my
9:22:34shoulder to make sure no one was
9:22:36watching me and then I pulled open one
9:22:38of the heavy metal doors and ducked
9:22:40inside oh my god oh I put my hand on my
9:22:45chest and looked at Jocelyn who was
9:22:48sitting by herself on the steps with her
9:22:50orange stilettos on the floor in front
9:22:52of her it was almost like she had to be
9:22:55a
9:22:56hallucination because what were the odds
9:22:59that she and I would be hiding out in
9:23:01the same
9:23:02stairwell jeez
9:23:05sorry you scared the crap out of
9:23:08me
9:23:09same she tilted her head and looked
9:23:12annoyed to see
9:23:13me did Charlie send you to find
9:23:16me
9:23:18no I'd heard that when Kate had gotten
9:23:21an actual date date Cassidy and Jos had
9:23:24decided to follow suit so it wouldn't be
9:23:26just the two of them but I still
9:23:29couldn't believe Jos had agreed to go
9:23:31with Charlie
9:23:32Hawk I haven't seen
9:23:35him I hated that I had no idea what to
9:23:38say to my best friend I missed her and
9:23:41wished so badly that I could go back in
9:23:43time and not hide things from
9:23:46her I'm just
9:23:48hiding trouble in
9:23:50Paradise she looked up at me like she
9:23:53didn't like me at
9:23:56all nah I'm just
9:24:00bored I knew I probably shouldn't admit
9:24:02my foolishness to someone who already
9:24:04thought I was a
9:24:06fool but I couldn't stop
9:24:09myself as it turns out I don't really
9:24:11like Michael that way and he and Lany
9:24:14are super into each other but just
9:24:17really terrible
9:24:19communicators she studied her nails as
9:24:21she said
9:24:23is that
9:24:24right
9:24:26yes I cleared my throat and leaned my
9:24:29backside against the
9:24:31door it also turns out that I actually
9:24:35do like
9:24:36Wes but he actually does like Alex now
9:24:42so
9:24:44um and I said
9:24:48swallowing and it turns out that I'm so
9:24:51so
9:24:53sorry I miss
9:24:56you Jos coughed out a little laugh noise
9:25:00but didn't
9:25:01smile do you think the fact that
9:25:04everything blew up in your face is going
9:25:05to make me forgive
9:25:07you of course
9:25:09not I dug my hands deeper into my dress
9:25:12Pockets my face getting instant Sweat
9:25:15Beads as I realized my safe spot in the
9:25:18stairwell was about to become all about
9:25:20confrontation
9:25:23but at least you can take comfort in the
9:25:25fact that I'm
9:25:28suffering I don't want you to
9:25:31suffer
9:25:33listen I
9:25:35sigh I just missed her so
9:25:39much I know you don't want to hear this
9:25:41but I am so sorry for lying to
9:25:44you I knew you'd call me out for trying
9:25:47to land Michael and instead of thinking
9:25:49that through I just went ahead and kept
9:25:52it from you so I wouldn't have to
9:25:54deal she wrapped her arms around her
9:25:57knees such a wimp
9:26:00move
9:26:02right and I shouldn't have let you think
9:26:04that I liked Wes
9:26:05either I mean it ended up being a
9:26:08self-fulfilling prophecy but it was
9:26:10pretty
9:26:11despicable yeah it
9:26:14was
9:26:16yeah I inhaled and
9:26:19said I'm going to go back now so you
9:26:22sit she pointed her head toward the step
9:26:25beside her and
9:26:28said I miss you
9:26:30two I'm about to forgive you over the
9:26:32whole prom
9:26:34debacle
9:26:36but I sat and
9:26:40waited I feel like something is wrong
9:26:42with us
9:26:43lately like I'm constantly chasing
9:26:47you chs's pretty face was sad and I
9:26:52hated that it was my
9:26:54fault she
9:26:56said it's our senior
9:26:59year I kind of pictured us doing like
9:27:02everything together and making the most
9:27:04of every second we have because we're
9:27:07going to be living in different places
9:27:08in a few
9:27:09months she reached up and took the pins
9:27:12out of her
9:27:14updo homecoming prom senior pictures
9:27:19senior
9:27:20pranks I thought we'd make all of those
9:27:22things totally epic but you just keep
9:27:26disappearing on me for the big
9:27:29things I
9:27:31know I had never thought of it from her
9:27:35perspective I'm
9:27:38sorry you're there for everything else
9:27:41every little thing that doesn't
9:27:43matter but like are you even going to
9:27:46show for
9:27:47graduation am I going to have to walk
9:27:49alone
9:27:52I don't know what your deal
9:27:54is it's
9:27:57complicated it seemed like those two
9:27:59words explained everything about
9:28:02me I swallowed and tried to make her
9:28:07understand I know we weren't friends
9:28:09when my mom
9:28:11died but it
9:28:13sucked like of course losing a parent
9:28:16sucks but it suck
9:28:19sucked everything felt lonely and
9:28:23sad every single
9:28:25thing you could have given me ice cream
9:28:28cones at Disney World with Tom Hanks
9:28:30Doling out pony rides and I still would
9:28:32have cried every night because she
9:28:35wasn't
9:28:36there I slid out of my shoes leaned my
9:28:40head against the cement block wall and
9:28:42closed my
9:28:45eyes but eventually it started getting
9:28:48better not quite so terrible
9:28:52I learned that if I could make it
9:28:54through the day without
9:28:56crying I could go home and watch her
9:28:58movies which always made her feel
9:29:02close I'm sorry
9:29:04Liz she leaned her head on my shoulder
9:29:07and wrapped her arms around my right
9:29:11bicep it all became normal and
9:29:15fine but lately it's
9:29:18just
9:29:21different different
9:29:23how I opened my eyes and focused on the
9:29:27open door slowly sticker on the
9:29:28stairwell
9:29:31exit I'm a
9:29:33senior everything is tagged with last
9:29:36time and secretly all wrapped up in
9:29:40family last homecoming dance parents
9:29:44gather around for pictures of your
9:29:46babies College
9:29:48visits oh my God my mom was so
9:29:51embarrassing when we tore to the
9:29:54dorms it's my stuff but every single
9:29:57Milestone feels empty without
9:30:00her so I don't even feel like doing
9:30:03it she lifted her head and gave me a
9:30:07look dress
9:30:09shopping I took a shaky
9:30:12breath
9:30:15Bingo why didn't you just tell
9:30:18me she looked genuinely hurt
9:30:22I know I can be quick to judge but I'm
9:30:24your best
9:30:25friend you can tell me
9:30:29anything I'm so
9:30:32sorry I need you to listen to me you
9:30:35know that right that you can always talk
9:30:38to
9:30:39me I nodded and leaned into her sighing
9:30:43and telling her
9:30:45everything how I felt when it seemed
9:30:47like she was dismissing my mom's absence
9:30:50what Wes had said about my mom
9:30:52and how I lived my life like I was in
9:30:54one of her
9:30:56screenplays I
9:30:57said I hate to say it but I think you
9:31:02might be
9:31:03right
9:31:04think she shook her head and said
9:31:08Bennett has you
9:31:10pegged
9:31:11right I wiped my cheeks and wondered
9:31:14when I'd become such a
9:31:17crier I'm so sorry I've been such a tool
9:31:22well I'm sorry I've been a tool too and
9:31:25let's move on we'll both do
9:31:28better she leaned back on the step and
9:31:32said so what's happening in the
9:31:36ballroom I wanted to hug her and gush
9:31:40but I was also good with moving
9:31:43on I heard Jessica Roberts describing
9:31:45your shoes
9:31:46earlier not shocked they're incredibly
9:31:50sexy and moved down another step and
9:31:53turned sideways so I could lean against
9:31:55the
9:31:56wall so are you having any
9:31:59fun she pursed her
9:32:01lips I'm sitting in a deserted stairwell
9:32:05by choice do the
9:32:08math I'm sorry I ditched
9:32:10you no worries this will make for a
9:32:14better memory I mean my imagination
9:32:17could never have reached far enough to
9:32:19consider a situation where I'd be going
9:32:21to to Chili's in a prom dress with a guy
9:32:24wearing a denim
9:32:26tuxedo I laughed Charlie was liked by
9:32:30everyone because he was great at
9:32:31football but he was out there during
9:32:34sophomore year he wore suits to school
9:32:37every day because he thought he looked
9:32:40sophisticated he took you to Chili's in
9:32:43a motherloving jean tux Liz you're
9:32:46missing the most important
9:32:48part was he being ironic girl he bought
9:32:52it on Amazon because the model wearing
9:32:54it looked
9:32:56cool she grinned and shook her head he
9:33:00doesn't know the word
9:33:02ironic I bit down on my lip to keep from
9:33:06cackling at least he's
9:33:08nice Jos gave me side eye and said he
9:33:12tried to touch my butt with both hands
9:33:15the first time we
9:33:17danced is he okay or did you stuff his
9:33:21body in a g 's
9:33:22closet
9:33:24police like I'm going to do time for a
9:33:27guy in a Levi
9:33:28suit she gave a little shrug and said I
9:33:32am leaving his ass here though I drove
9:33:35since he doesn't have a license and my
9:33:38goal is to stay missing until it's too
9:33:39late for him to find another ride make
9:33:42the fool call his mom for a
9:33:44ride we both lost it then we were
9:33:47cackling so hard that we were both
9:33:49crying when the doors to the stairwell
9:33:51flew open we gasped in unison as Wes's
9:33:55friend Noah stepped into our
9:33:57space he looked as confused by our
9:33:59presence as we were about his I said
9:34:03Noah at the same time he said damn it
9:34:07you guys scared
9:34:08me Joselyn leaned back on her elbows and
9:34:12I gestured to the step below us and said
9:34:15what are you doing all the way down here
9:34:18I thought the cool kids were still down
9:34:19in the
9:34:20ballroom he sat down and said I couldn't
9:34:24take it
9:34:25anymore promise
9:34:27painful you can either stand around with
9:34:29your friends and talk while wearing
9:34:31uncomfortable tuxedos or you can dance
9:34:34to shitty music while your friends talk
9:34:36about you and think they're
9:34:38funny and so much planning and money
9:34:41goes into this one night but there is no
9:34:43way the joy derived equals the effort
9:34:47absolutely no
9:34:49way was it weird that I still thought it
9:34:52was possible that the joy could equal
9:34:54the effort even though it hadn't worked
9:34:57out for me my heart still thought prom
9:35:00magic was a sparkling
9:35:02thing maybe that was just my obnoxious
9:35:05optimism messing with my
9:35:07head so why did you
9:35:09come Joselyn had a smirk on her face but
9:35:12looked interested in how he'd answer I
9:35:15totally agree by the way but why did you
9:35:18come if you feel that
9:35:20way same reason as
9:35:22you and that is he raised an
9:35:27eyebrow you don't know why you're here
9:35:30she rolled her eyes I know why I'm here
9:35:33but you don't so there's no way you
9:35:36could know that we share a
9:35:38reason I crossed my arms and watched
9:35:41them the little I knew of Noah was that
9:35:43he was the king of arguing he seemed to
9:35:47enjoy the debate process Jos on the
9:35:50other hand had no patience for people
9:35:52who argued with her most didn't because
9:35:54they knew
9:35:55better he said you
9:35:59sure she gave him a look he said around
9:36:03a smartass
9:36:04grin I thought we both came to see what
9:36:07a clown in a denim tuxedo actually looks
9:36:10like that made her chuckle you came here
9:36:14for Charlie too oh yeah his face went
9:36:18into his natural sarcastic State as he
9:36:21smed and said that blue suit really
9:36:24makes his eyes
9:36:26pop what could he have been
9:36:29thinking Joselyn started laughing again
9:36:32and Noah's smirk turned into a
9:36:34full-fledged
9:36:35smile I felt like I should slip away but
9:36:39I knew that would ruin the moment also I
9:36:42wasn't ready to put space between me and
9:36:44Jos he kicked his legs out and leaned
9:36:47back on his elbows too the male version
9:36:50of joselyn's lean
9:36:52that guy was thinking with his ego he
9:36:55knew he looked good in denim so much so
9:36:58he wanted to be swed from head to toe in
9:37:01that scratchy rigid unstretch fabric
9:37:04that totally shows off his amazing
9:37:07ass oh my God Jocelyn said you have to
9:37:12shut up you have
9:37:14to we spent the next hour in the
9:37:16stairwell just
9:37:18talking it would have been fun if my
9:37:21brain hadn't been so stuck on reminding
9:37:23me about Wes and
9:37:25Alex I'd let him go before I'd ever
9:37:27fully realized that I even wanted him
9:37:31and now Alex was making him forget he'd
9:37:33ever kissed
9:37:34me after laugh crying at joselyn's
9:37:37impression of the PE teacher we decided
9:37:40we were done with prom we each texted
9:37:43our respective dates with excuses and
9:37:45Michael seemed fine with it he even sent
9:37:48me a thank you BTW message
9:37:52which gave me hope that he and Laney
9:37:54would be official before
9:37:55morning I was counting the minutes until
9:37:58I could be warm in my bed dwelling on my
9:38:00mistakes while Fitz attacked my feet
9:38:03under the
9:38:04blanket Jocelyn and Noah however decided
9:38:07as we got closer to my house that they
9:38:10wanted to go to post prom at the school
9:38:12gym they' both been planning to blow it
9:38:15off but now that Noah was convinced he
9:38:17could make more free throws than Jocelyn
9:38:20my Uber competitive best friend just had
9:38:23to go and she would totally beat him you
9:38:28sure you don't want to join Joselyn
9:38:30pulled into my driveway and put her car
9:38:32in park I promise we'll make it fun no
9:38:37thanks I got out and slammed the door
9:38:40then came around to her window and gave
9:38:41her a half hug but call me when you get
9:38:44home whenever that
9:38:47is Bennett won't be there Noah gave gave
9:38:51me a pitying look and
9:38:53said he told me this morning that post
9:38:56prom is a waste of time and he needs a
9:38:59good weekend of sleep before the big
9:39:00game Monday so he's coming home at
9:39:03midnight like a
9:39:05grandma I appreciated his attempt to
9:39:08cheer me up it was kind of
9:39:11sweet I
9:39:12said I have a date with a movie and some
9:39:15ice cream nothing tops that but
9:39:20thanks let me guess Jos rolled her eyes
9:39:25Bridget
9:39:26Jones I
9:39:28Shrugged I think I'm feeling a little
9:39:30more Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly tonight
9:39:33but either one will
9:39:35do they said goodbye and pulled away but
9:39:39instead of going inside I sat down on
9:39:41the porch swing and stared over at Wes's
9:39:44house the light was on in the living
9:39:47room making me think of our late night
9:39:49telephone calls and watching ing for him
9:39:51out the
9:39:53window I missed him so
9:39:56much I'd spent most of my life wishing
9:39:59he wasn't always there aggravating me
9:40:02with his
9:40:03Wess yet
9:40:05now everything felt empty when he was
9:40:09absent I reached into my pocket and
9:40:11pulled out my phone I went into our
9:40:14messages and typed hey you but quickly
9:40:18deleted it because of course Wes wasn't
9:40:21home yet normal people stayed until the
9:40:24end of
9:40:25prom normal people weren't home but I
9:40:28checked the clock on my
9:40:29phone
9:40:329:30 Wes Bennett was probably being
9:40:35crowned prom King at that very second he
9:40:38was probably about to dance with his
9:40:40beautiful date and once he finished
9:40:42staring into her eyes he'd forget about
9:40:45baseball responsibilities and sweep her
9:40:48away for a Fantastical Night of Fire
9:40:50Light and kisses
9:40:52that curled her
9:40:54toes even when I closed my eyes
9:40:57tight I could still picture them
9:41:01kissing screw this I opened my eyes
9:41:06stood and fished my key out of my
9:41:09pocket it was time to go inside and
9:41:12gouge my eyes
9:41:16out chapter
9:41:1916 when you realize you want to spend
9:41:22the rest of your life with somebody you
9:41:23want the rest of your life to start as
9:41:25soon as
9:41:26possible When Harry Met
9:41:29Sally I lay on the couch like a lump
9:41:32still wearing my prom dress but wrapped
9:41:35in a
9:41:35blanket I just dropped onto the sofa
9:41:38when I came into the house and was
9:41:40mindlessly watching You've Got Mail in
9:41:42the dark while trying not to think about
9:41:44what was going on with Wes and
9:41:46Alex Kathleen Kelly was talking about
9:41:49Joanie Mitchell's River and I was
9:41:52feeling every Melancholy note of that
9:41:55Masterpiece I'm selfish and I'm sad now
9:41:59I've gone and lost the best
9:42:02baby
9:42:03Liz Helena stopped short of walking into
9:42:06the living room from the kitchen when
9:42:08she saw me and put her hand on her
9:42:11chest jeez you scared the crap out of
9:42:15me
9:42:17sorry she tucked her hair behind her
9:42:19ears a tube with Pringles under her
9:42:22arm no
9:42:24worries why are you sitting in the
9:42:27dark I
9:42:28Shrugged too lazy to turn on the
9:42:32light I
9:42:34see she cleared her throat and put her
9:42:37hands in the pocket of her hoodie where
9:42:39I could see two cans of
9:42:42soda and
9:42:44prom I waved a
9:42:46hand it was
9:42:48fine she looked like she wanted to ask
9:42:51asked me about it but then she
9:42:54said well okay then I'll leave you to
9:42:58your movie good
9:43:00night I usually felt defensive when she
9:43:03asked about things in my life but it
9:43:06felt empty not having her
9:43:08asked I was embarrassed by the way I'd
9:43:11acted at the
9:43:12cemetery and if I was honest with
9:43:16myself I'd missed her
9:43:19today I didn't deserve it but I wanted
9:43:21her to stay up with me I was a little
9:43:24scared to ask afraid of a rejection that
9:43:27I wholeheartedly
9:43:29deserved but when she was almost to the
9:43:31stairs I blurted out do you want to
9:43:33watch it with me I heard her steps stop
9:43:37before she came back into the
9:43:39room oh my God yes I love this movie
9:43:43Praise Jesus for the saviors that are
9:43:45Meg Ryan and Tom
9:43:47Hanks I thought you hated romcoms
9:43:51I hate cheesy unrealistic romantic
9:43:53movies but bouquets of newly sharpened
9:43:56pencils she plopped down beside me and
9:43:59sat crisscross applesauce pulling the
9:44:02top off the
9:44:03Pringles be still my
9:44:06heart we watched for a few more minutes
9:44:09before she
9:44:10said so
9:44:13prom ah prom I kicked my feet out onto
9:44:17the coffee table and snagged a
9:44:20chip prom was like having your biggest
9:44:23mistake dressed up in pretty clothes and
9:44:25paraded in front of you with someone
9:44:27else English please I don't get how that
9:44:31gibberish pertains to the pretty Mr
9:44:34Michael I
9:44:36side it doesn't
9:44:40it's I don't know just forget it I don't
9:44:43want to think about it
9:44:45anymore done she bit into a chip and
9:44:48said gesturing at the TV this is the
9:44:52best love
9:44:54triangle um it's more of a love square
9:44:59if it's a love shape at all I chomped on
9:45:02a pringle and said they're just a
9:45:04foresome who fall apart on their own
9:45:07none of them have to choose between the
9:45:09others I'm not talking about the two
9:45:11couples Helena pulled the sodas out of
9:45:14her pocket handed me one and opened hers
9:45:18she slurped off the can's Edge and said
9:45:20I'm talking about the triangle between
9:45:22Kathleen her idea of who
9:45:25ny152 is online and Joe
9:45:28Fox wait what think about it she finds
9:45:33his online Persona Charming she likes
9:45:36that he knows about going to the
9:45:38mattresses she envies his ability to
9:45:40verbally
9:45:42slay she leaned forward and set her can
9:45:44on the
9:45:45table the idea of this man is beautiful
9:45:49but in practice she thinks Joe Fox's
9:45:51verbal slaying is mean and when he goes
9:45:54to the mattresses and puts her out of
9:45:56business she hates
9:45:58him I blinked and opened my
9:46:01pop holy
9:46:04crap you're
9:46:06right I know she grinned and did a
9:46:10little half bow
9:46:12thing sometimes we get so tied up in our
9:46:15idea of what we think we want that we
9:46:18miss out on the amazingness of what we
9:46:20could actually
9:46:22have she was talking about the movie but
9:46:26I felt
9:46:28seen Wes had been right about one thing
9:46:30when he talked about my mom
9:46:32issues it wasn't intentional but I had
9:46:36been living my life like I was one of
9:46:38her characters like I was trying to act
9:46:40out the parts I thought she would have
9:46:42written for me I'd pushed him away and
9:46:45gone for the good guy when in reality
9:46:48there weren't only solid depend able
9:46:51people and players with questionable
9:46:53intentions in the
9:46:55world there were Wes's out there guys
9:46:58who broke the mold and blew both of
9:47:01those stereotypes out of the
9:47:03water he was so much more than a mark
9:47:06Darcy or a Daniel
9:47:08Cleaver and then there were
9:47:11helenas smart irreverent women who had
9:47:14no idea how to play the piano or tend to
9:47:17a Rose Garden but they were always there
9:47:21just waiting for you to realize you
9:47:23needed
9:47:24them I mean Helena said she nearly let
9:47:28152 pockmarks
9:47:30go can you even
9:47:33imagine Helena I blinked fast but it was
9:47:37impossible to clear my eyes my voice
9:47:40sounded constricted when I
9:47:42said I'm so sorry for what I said to you
9:47:45before for
9:47:47everything I don't want to miss out on
9:47:50what we could have I didn't mean it when
9:47:52I told you to butt
9:47:53out
9:47:55oh her eyes widened a little bit and she
9:47:58tilted her
9:48:00head it's totally okay it's
9:48:04not she gave me a hug and
9:48:08sniffled just know that I don't want to
9:48:11take your mom's
9:48:13place I only want to be here for
9:48:16you I closed my eyes and felt something
9:48:21as I let her hug surround
9:48:23me I felt
9:48:26loved and I knew at that moment that my
9:48:28mother would want this
9:48:31badly she would want above all else for
9:48:35me to be
9:48:37loved I
9:48:39said I want that too
9:48:42Helena we were both sniffling which made
9:48:45us laugh the moment melted and we
9:48:48returned to our spots side by side on on
9:48:50the
9:48:51couch I decided as she wolfed down chips
9:48:54and got crumbs all over her stained
9:48:57hoodie that I was glad she was so
9:48:59different from my
9:49:01mom it was nice that the lines between
9:49:04them could never be
9:49:05blurred I cleared my
9:49:08throat do you think it would be okay for
9:49:12me to call you my stepmom
9:49:14now as long as you don't add evil as a
9:49:19prefix why else what I want to say it
9:49:22though you have to admit that it's a
9:49:24powerful
9:49:25title I suppose it is and I do love
9:49:29power see I knew it I glanced toward the
9:49:34sliding glass door by the kitchen and my
9:49:37mind went to the secret
9:49:38area I turned toward Helena on the couch
9:49:41and
9:49:42said so
9:49:44prom basically the bottom line is that I
9:49:47went with the wrong guy are you coming
9:49:50with my pop I heard my dad run down the
9:49:54stairs before he stepped into the room
9:49:56wearing peanuts pajama pants and a
9:49:59t-shirt
9:50:00smiling then he looked concerned and
9:50:03said hey hun I didn't know you were home
9:50:08already yeah I just got back Helena
9:50:12pointed at my dad and gave me a look
9:50:15before saying to him shh she was about
9:50:18to tell me about prom
9:50:21pretend I'm not
9:50:22here my dad plopped down in the small
9:50:25space between Helena and the sofa's
9:50:27armrest and he took a sip of her
9:50:30soda I rolled my eyes and told them
9:50:33about Lany and the realization that I
9:50:36had no interest in the guy that I
9:50:38thought fate had sent
9:50:39me then I had to tell them what a jerk
9:50:42I'd been to Wes after our kiss except I
9:50:45said date so my dad didn't
9:50:48freak just so they understood how how
9:50:50badly I'd screwed everything
9:50:52up I pictured Wes's face at prom glaring
9:50:56at me and I
9:50:59said so now it's too late he's with a
9:51:03girl who adors him and doesn't treat him
9:51:05like
9:51:06crap why would he ever want to look back
9:51:09from
9:51:10that they listened to all of it before
9:51:13my dad smiled at me like I was
9:51:15unbelievably
9:51:17dense because you're you Liz
9:51:22I don't know what oh you don't know do
9:51:25you Helena dusted off the front of her
9:51:28shirt and
9:51:29said that boy has been into you since
9:51:32you were little
9:51:34kids no he
9:51:36hasn't her words made a hopeful buzzing
9:51:39start in my ears and fingertips even
9:51:42though I knew she was
9:51:44wrong he's been into messing with me
9:51:46since we were little
9:51:48kids oh you are so
9:51:51wrong tell her hun Helena nudged my dad
9:51:55with her elbow tell her about the
9:51:58piano my dad put his arm around Helena
9:52:01and propped his feet on the coffee
9:52:04table did you ever know Liz that Wes
9:52:08used to sit on the back porch and listen
9:52:10to you practice the
9:52:11piano we pretended not to see him but he
9:52:15was always
9:52:16there and we're talking way back when he
9:52:20was a little pain in the ass and you
9:52:23were awful at
9:52:25piano no
9:52:27way I struggled to remember how old we'd
9:52:30been when the piano had sat in the back
9:52:33room he did he did and do you really
9:52:38think he cared about that parking spot
9:52:40you guys have fought over for the past
9:52:42year he definitely cared he still does
9:52:47that was what made him agree to help me
9:52:49I thought about the rainy day in his
9:52:51living room when I'd first suggested the
9:52:54plan he'd seemed like a stranger that
9:52:57day when I'd had to beg him to let me
9:53:00in cookies and milk Wes's
9:53:04cartwheels it seemed like a lifetime
9:53:08ago
9:53:09Liz Helena's smile was obscenely
9:53:13large his mom lets him park behind her
9:53:17car he always pulled in his driveway
9:53:21but then out of nowhere right about the
9:53:23time you got your car he started parking
9:53:26in the
9:53:27street my mouth fell
9:53:30open what are you
9:53:33saying she smacked my arm and said and
9:53:36I'm not saying anything other than I
9:53:38think he was after that spot because he
9:53:41wanted a reason to talk to
9:53:43you do without what you
9:53:46will was it
9:53:48possible in a way it was impossible to
9:53:51believe because he was out of my leak he
9:53:55was popular and athletic and
9:53:57ridiculously
9:53:59hot I was supposed to believe that he
9:54:02had been into me before I'd even
9:54:04realized who he truly was that he'd been
9:54:07into me for like a really long
9:54:11time I dug my fingers into my hair and
9:54:14pulled a
9:54:15little I have no idea what to do
9:54:20my dad went upstairs after that but
9:54:23Helena and I watched the rest of the
9:54:25movie before going to
9:54:27bed I'd just closed my door when Helena
9:54:30knocked on it Liz I pulled it open
9:54:36yeah she was smirking at me in the dark
9:54:39hallway be brave enough to go big
9:54:43okay what does that
9:54:45mean she
9:54:47Shrugged I don't know just
9:54:51if you're going to do it don't skimp I
9:54:54guess be brave enough to go
9:54:57big I kept replaying her words as I lay
9:55:00in
9:55:01bed I tried sleeping but between
9:55:04listening for Wes's car and imagining
9:55:07all the things he and Alex might be
9:55:10doing all I did was lie there being
9:55:14unhappy until it hit
9:55:17me be brave enough to go
9:55:23big chapter
9:55:2617 here's the deal I love you I know I
9:55:30do because I've never been so scared in
9:55:33my entire life and I once shared an
9:55:35elevator with Saddam Hussein just me and
9:55:38Saddam and this is way
9:55:41scarier I love
9:55:43you long
9:55:46shot I was wrong about everything I am
9:55:49so incredibly glad Michael came back but
9:55:52only because it allowed me to get to
9:55:54know the real you all this time you were
9:55:57right here next door and I had no idea
9:56:01how amazing you are I whispered to
9:56:04myself I was shaking shivering with cold
9:56:08when I heard Wes's car pull into the
9:56:10driveway
9:56:12Showtime I shook out my cold fingers and
9:56:15quit practicing my
9:56:16speech I inhaled slowly through my nose
9:56:20as I heard him cut his engine and a
9:56:22second later I heard his car door slam
9:56:25shut I tucked my hair behind my ears and
9:56:28got into a super cute yet really casual
9:56:30pose on one of the chairs and waited for
9:56:33him to find my
9:56:34note after Helena's Epic movie quote
9:56:37about going big I decided she was right
9:56:41and got very busy first I flipped on my
9:56:44music computer and looked through the
9:56:46desk drawers until I found a blank
9:56:49CD there was something about holding the
9:56:51tangible product of careful music
9:56:53curation that I still loved technology
9:56:56be
9:56:57damned I took the Wes and Liz playlist
9:57:00that ID made after the kiss and I burned
9:57:03it to the CD it had all the songs we'd
9:57:06ever discussed on it and all the music
9:57:08we'd experienced together I quickly made
9:57:12album cover art our initials inside a
9:57:15heart made of ketchup and printed it
9:57:18then carefully cut it so it fit in the
9:57:20case just right as soon as it was done I
9:57:23changed into jeans and Wes's huge hoodie
9:57:27which had somehow ended up in my vomity
9:57:29clothes bag and that I'd been sleeping
9:57:31in every night my hair and makeup were
9:57:34still fairly intact so I pulled on my
9:57:37freshly bleached and perfectly white
9:57:39again Chucks scribbled out the words
9:57:42meet me in the secret area with a
9:57:44Sharpie on a piece of printer paper and
9:57:47filled a boot box with the necessary
9:57:49supplies
9:57:50I'd sprinted over to his porch to leave
9:57:52the note before hurrying to the secret
9:57:54area where I'd set up the portable CD
9:57:56player started a fire organized the
9:57:59s'mores stuff and gotten everything in
9:58:02place then I'd snuggled into a blanket
9:58:05and
9:58:06waited and
9:58:08waited and waited and
9:58:11waited and doz off a couple of times but
9:58:15now he was finally
9:58:17home oh
9:58:19dear oh God I was so
9:58:21nervous and then wait what I heard the
9:58:26slamming of a second car
9:58:28door I sucked in my lips crap crap
9:58:33crap maybe he just grabbed something
9:58:35from his car maybe there wasn't someone
9:58:38with
9:58:39him
9:58:41W I heard the giggling yell and it might
9:58:45as well have been the laugh of an evil
9:58:47clown for what it did to my pulse I
9:58:50tried peeking around the bushes but I
9:58:52couldn't see
9:58:53anything the voices were getting closer
9:58:56so I stepped up onto my chair to see if
9:58:59I could see better from a higher Vantage
9:59:02Point Holy
9:59:04balls I could see by the Light of the
9:59:07full moon that Wes and Alex were walking
9:59:10through his backyard toward where I was
9:59:12stationed with my pride fully exposed
9:59:15and a sack full of embarrassing
9:59:17goodies
9:59:20all evidence had to be erased I kicked
9:59:23the box of s'more supplies intending to
9:59:25kick them into a bush and out of sight
9:59:28Panic exploded inside me as the Box went
9:59:30flying and sent the graham crackers and
9:59:32marshmallows spilling out into the water
9:59:35so they were floating on top of the
9:59:36fountain crap crap crap crap I grabbed
9:59:40the CD player and dropped down to my
9:59:42knees desperate to be hidden by the
9:59:44darkness but the ancient machine slipped
9:59:47out of my hands and landed on the ground
9:59:50causing eight d-size batteries to be
9:59:52ejected screw it I ditched the mess and
9:59:56scooted over to the big bush crawling on
9:59:58my hands and knees toward the other side
10:00:01if I crawled all the way around to the
10:00:03other end of the secret area maybe I
10:00:05could cut through
10:00:08Liz I closed my eyes for a second before
10:00:11slowly straightening and climbing to my
10:00:14feet I pasted a smile onto my face as
10:00:18Wes and Alex looked at me
10:00:21hey guys what's up fun prom right right
10:00:27oh my
10:00:28God Alex bless her acted like it wasn't
10:00:32out of the ordinary for me to be
10:00:34crawling around in the darkness behind
10:00:36Wes's house I thought I was going to
10:00:39have a heart attack when Ash was
10:00:41crowned I know I breathed smiling like I
10:00:46knew what she was talking about while
10:00:48taking in the stoics serious expression
10:00:51on Wes's
10:00:52face total heart attack moment like what
10:00:57Ash was
10:00:59ground what are you doing out here Wes
10:01:02asked looking at me with an unreadable
10:01:05expression that made the tips of my ears
10:01:07burn
10:01:08hot he was probably pissed that I was in
10:01:12the way of a potential
10:01:13seduction had he brought her there for
10:01:16that were they waiting for me to leave
10:01:19so they could get to
10:01:20it for some reason the thought of them
10:01:23together was a hundred times worse when
10:01:25it involved the secret
10:01:27area I um I followed my cat out here
10:01:31earlier and I pointed toward my house as
10:01:35words failed to make sense to
10:01:38me I dropped something and thought it
10:01:41might have rolled under this
10:01:43bush and I pointed to Wes's Forest like
10:01:46a distraught
10:01:48toddler your cat doesn't go
10:01:51outside I made a face and said yes he
10:01:55does actually no you're right he ran
10:01:59out
10:02:00really and what did you
10:02:03drop he didn't look amused at
10:02:06all um it was money a
10:02:11penny I cleared my throat and said I
10:02:15dropped a penny and it rolled away so
10:02:17yeah I was just out here looking for my
10:02:19penny
10:02:20it was
10:02:21lucky your penny yep but it doesn't
10:02:26matter I don't need it I cleared my
10:02:28throat again but the tightness just
10:02:30wouldn't go
10:02:32away the penny you know I mean who needs
10:02:35a penny am I right my stepmom throws
10:02:38them away for God's
10:02:40sake they both just stared at me and the
10:02:43hard lines of Wes's face made me
10:02:46homesick for hour before for his last
10:02:49laughing eyes before I'd ruined
10:02:53everything it's weird how sometimes
10:02:56there can be a penny that's like always
10:02:59there and you think you don't need it
10:03:01and don't even like it
10:03:04right Alex tilted her head and scrunched
10:03:07her eyebrows together but not a single
10:03:10thing on Wes's face changed as I
10:03:13rambled then you wake up one day and
10:03:15your eyes are opened to just how amazing
10:03:18pennies are
10:03:20how had you not noticed before
10:03:22right I mean they're like the best coins
10:03:26ever as in better than all the other
10:03:29coins combined but you weren't
10:03:31careful and you lost your penny and you
10:03:34just wish you could make your penny
10:03:37understand how much you regret not
10:03:39cherishing
10:03:41it but it's too late because you lost
10:03:44it you
10:03:47know
10:03:48Liz do you need to borrow some
10:03:52money Alex looked at me and I was a
10:03:55little bit close to crying
10:03:57again I shook my head and
10:04:00said um no thanks I've got to run even
10:04:05though I'm
10:04:07pennil so you guys have fun it took a
10:04:11step backward and did a tiny wave thing
10:04:14don't do anything I wouldn't do stop
10:04:16talking you
10:04:18I sensed without looking that
10:04:22they were still staring at me as I
10:04:24climbed over Wes's
10:04:25fence and ran through my
10:04:31backyard chapter
10:04:3418 but you know the thing about romance
10:04:38is people only get together right at the
10:04:41very
10:04:42end Love
10:04:45Actually thank you I took the bag from
10:04:48the McDonald's employee
10:04:50tossed it onto the passenger seat and
10:04:52drove away it was midnight and I had
10:04:55spent the past hour just driving around
10:04:58cranking aele and SOB singing and trying
10:05:01to stay gone long enough for Alex to
10:05:03have left and for Wes to have gone
10:05:06inside I would rather have done almost
10:05:09anything in the world than see either
10:05:11one of them so I'd texted Helena and
10:05:15just cruised the
10:05:17city and my dad was the coolest person
10:05:20on the planet for not texting me a
10:05:22single word of warning when he knew I
10:05:24was driving around aimlessly after
10:05:26midnight it had to be killing
10:05:29him I'd considered getting ice cream on
10:05:32my way home but I hadn't been up to
10:05:34actually getting out of my car so I had
10:05:38settled on the golden
10:05:40arches I just wanted to go home and sad
10:05:43eat watch a movie and try to forget how
10:05:46badly I'd humiliated
10:05:48myself a Penny
10:05:51seriously they'd probably laughed about
10:05:53me until they fell into each other's
10:05:55arms and had perfect
10:05:58sex damn it I grabbed a fistful of fries
10:06:02and jammed them into my mouth before
10:06:04pulling into the
10:06:05spot it wasn't mine anymore it was Wes's
10:06:10forever but at the moment I didn't care
10:06:14his car was in his driveway so screw
10:06:16him instead of getting out after
10:06:19parallel parking though I just sat there
10:06:23wolfing down my food and listening to
10:06:25the
10:06:26radio getting out of the car and walking
10:06:28across the street seemed like work at
10:06:31that tired moment and I was also
10:06:34terrified of running into the happy
10:06:36couple it would be just my luck to walk
10:06:39by at the exact moment they decided to
10:06:41get hot and heavy in his driveway or
10:06:44something equally
10:06:46nightmarish I finished my food and was
10:06:49drinking my chocolate shake with the
10:06:50seat half reclined when there was a
10:06:53knock on my window I jumped and my
10:06:57straw splattered milkshake onto Wes's
10:07:00hoodie I looked through the fogged up
10:07:02window and could see a tall body in a
10:07:05letter
10:07:06jacket someone please kill
10:07:08me I wiped my mouth with my fingers put
10:07:12my seat back up and rolled down the
10:07:15window gave him a cool
10:07:18smile yes
10:07:20Wes glared down at
10:07:22me what are you
10:07:25doing
10:07:26um
10:07:28parking I watched you park 10 minutes
10:07:31ago try
10:07:33again wow creep
10:07:35mun I wanted to talk to you so yeah I
10:07:38was waiting but now I think maybe you're
10:07:41never going to get out of that
10:07:43car I rolled my eyes and set down my
10:07:46shake apparently I was going to have to
10:07:49face him and my utter humiliation twice
10:07:52in one
10:07:54night how
10:07:56awesome I got out of the car and shut
10:07:59the door crossed my arms and looked up
10:08:02at his
10:08:04face what do you
10:08:06need well for starters I need you to
10:08:09explain what happened
10:08:11earlier my heart hurt as I looked at him
10:08:15his hair was tousel like he dragged his
10:08:18hand through it 100 times and he was
10:08:21wearing his untucked dress shirt and
10:08:23Tuxedo pants under his
10:08:25jacket he was an absolute
10:08:28mess and my fingers itched to touch
10:08:31him I narrowed my eyes and acted
10:08:35confused are you talking about when I
10:08:38lost my
10:08:40nope he gave me a look of warning and
10:08:43said do not say
10:08:46penny sorry
10:08:49I looked down at my shoes and
10:08:51muttered lucky
10:08:54coin really you're stick into
10:08:58that I just Shrugged and stared at my
10:09:01Chucks clueless about what to
10:09:04say everything I'd planned to tell him
10:09:07during my whole be brave phase felt too
10:09:11hard to say after seeing him with Alex
10:09:14especially when he looked so unhappy to
10:09:16see me in the secret area
10:09:20I still couldn't believe he'd taken her
10:09:21back
10:09:22there his nostrils flared and he
10:09:26said oh well that explains
10:09:32everything why do you seem mad at me I
10:09:36raised my eyes to his face and waited
10:09:38for an
10:09:40answer I was the one who wished to
10:09:42spontaneously combust why was he being
10:09:47salty his jaw flexed before he
10:09:50said because I hate
10:09:53games what
10:09:55games what
10:09:57games his eyes were hot and yeah he was
10:10:03mad you won your precious Michael but as
10:10:06soon as I looked twice at Alex you're
10:10:08burning me this unbelievable CD and
10:10:10rambling about lucky pennies in a way
10:10:12that makes me think I'm the penny in
10:10:14that particular scenario while wearing
10:10:16my baseball
10:10:18hoodie well what are you doing to
10:10:21me you saw the
10:10:23CD I bit the inside of my cheek and
10:10:27wondered how much humiliation a person
10:10:29could take before it literally killed
10:10:32them because as I pictured the ketchup
10:10:34initials I'd put on the CD
10:10:36cover I felt like I was close to
10:10:39combusting and gently floating to the
10:10:42ground as
10:10:43Ash he stuck his hands into his coat
10:10:46Pockets I'm not oblivious Liz
10:10:50I also saw the note the Soggy s'mores
10:10:54supplies and the busted CD
10:10:57player
10:10:59oh I took a shuttering breath as his
10:11:02dark eyes bore into
10:11:04me then I
10:11:06blurted so do you like
10:11:09her his eyebrows furrowed together like
10:11:12he hadn't expected the
10:11:14question which was fair because I hadn't
10:11:17expected to ask it but I needed to
10:11:20know he swallowed and I thought he
10:11:23wasn't going to answer but then he
10:11:27said Alex is
10:11:30great
10:11:32oh I hoped my face didn't show how close
10:11:35I was to crying how that one syllable
10:11:39was like a punch to the
10:11:42stomach well
10:11:44yay I've got to go I took a step around
10:11:48him
10:11:49but he grabbed my arm and stopped
10:11:52me that's it you're not going to explain
10:11:55what all of that
10:11:57was it doesn't matter
10:12:00now it
10:12:02might it doesn't
10:12:05okay I tried to sound light and easy
10:12:08like I was fine with everything as he
10:12:10dropped his
10:12:13hand I made the CD and set an
10:12:15embarrassing scene because I realized
10:12:18that my isn't the person I can't stop
10:12:20thinking
10:12:21about and I wanted to tell
10:12:24you I mean he's great
10:12:27but being with him is nothing like
10:12:29eating burgers with
10:12:31you we're sneaking out to the secret
10:12:33area to make s'mores and look at the
10:12:36stars are fighting with you over a
10:12:39parking
10:12:41space but it took me too long to figure
10:12:43that out and now you've got
10:12:46Alex he opened his mouth but I shook my
10:12:49my head no it's fine I get it she's
10:12:54Flawless and
10:12:55sweet and as much as I hate to say it
10:12:59you deserve someone like
10:13:01her I took a big shaky breath as those
10:13:05dark eyes made me so sorry for
10:13:07everything I'd done to get us
10:13:11here because I was wrong
10:13:14was you are the good
10:13:17stuff he's scratched his chin and looked
10:13:21past me down the
10:13:23street then he settled his eyes on my
10:13:25face and
10:13:27said that's not the only thing you're
10:13:29wrong
10:13:31about
10:13:33what leave it to him to kick me when I'm
10:13:37down what are you talking
10:13:40about you're wrong about
10:13:43Alex she's not
10:13:45Flawless Bennett no one is totally
10:13:49Flawless come
10:13:50on I couldn't believe his
10:13:52nerve she's pretty dang close
10:13:56though I
10:13:58suppose you
10:14:00suppose what on Earth could she possibly
10:14:03be lacking do you want bigger boobs or
10:14:06something is she not she's not
10:14:10you
10:14:12what
10:14:14she
10:14:16isn't you
10:14:19I shut my mouth and looked at him scared
10:14:23to believe he was saying what it sounded
10:14:26like he was
10:14:28saying she's
10:14:30pretty but her face doesn't transform
10:14:33into sunlight when she talks about
10:14:36music he did that clench thing with his
10:14:39jaw and
10:14:40said she's
10:14:43funny but not spit out your drink in
10:14:45astonishment
10:14:47funny it felt like my heart was going to
10:14:51explode as his eyes moved down to my
10:14:53lips under the glow of the buzzing
10:14:55street
10:14:56light he moved his face a little closer
10:14:59to mine looked into my eyes and
10:15:03rumbled and when I see
10:15:06her I don't feel like I have to talk to
10:15:09her or mess up her hair or do
10:15:13something
10:15:14anything to get her to swing that Gaze
10:15:17on me
10:15:20my hands were shaking when I tucked my
10:15:22hair behind my ears and
10:15:25breathed you haven't messed up my hair
10:15:28in a really long
10:15:30time and it's been killing
10:15:33me he took a step closer which pressed
10:15:37me against the side of my
10:15:39car I fell in love with teasing you in
10:15:42the second gr when I first discovered
10:15:45that I could turn your cheeks pink with
10:15:47just a word
10:15:50then I fell in love with
10:15:53you I'm pretty sure my heart was
10:15:56developing an arhythmia with each word
10:15:59he
10:16:01said so you and Alex aren't
10:16:06nope he reached down and wrapped the
10:16:09drawstrings on my hoodie his hoodie
10:16:13around his
10:16:15hands we're just friends
10:16:20oh my brain was trying to keep up but
10:16:24his handsome face was making it
10:16:27difficult that and his sudden presence
10:16:29in my personal space not to mention the
10:16:32gentle pull of him tugging me
10:16:36closer I was
10:16:39muddled well why did you act like you
10:16:42wanted me to say yes to Michael's
10:16:46promposal you've loved him since
10:16:48kindergarten
10:16:50his eyes were all I could see as he
10:16:52quietly
10:16:53said I didn't want our kiss to get in
10:16:56the way of that if it was what you
10:16:59really
10:17:01wanted how had I ever thought Wes was
10:17:04anything other than
10:17:06amazing I didn't even try to stop the
10:17:09lovesick smile from taking over my face
10:17:11as I set my hands on his chest and
10:17:15said what I really wanted was to go with
10:17:18you
10:17:21well you could have told me that buck
10:17:24Bal his voice was just a breath between
10:17:27us as he
10:17:28said because just seeing you in that
10:17:32dress made me want to punch our very
10:17:35good friend
10:17:37Michael it
10:17:39did he yanked on the
10:17:42drawstring that's not supposed to make
10:17:44you
10:17:46happy I know
10:17:49I was giving away my every emotion as I
10:17:52beamed up at him but I couldn't help it
10:17:55I couldn't hold back and be cool even if
10:17:58I
10:17:59tried because the thought of Wes being
10:18:01pissed at Michael and jealous over me
10:18:05was just too
10:18:08wonderful but it
10:18:10does it's just so
10:18:13swoony forget
10:18:17swoony he let go of the strings and slid
10:18:20his hands up the sides of my face until
10:18:23he was holding it in his big
10:18:25Palms I sucked in a breath as his mouth
10:18:28lowered and my brain queued up the
10:18:30perfect song for this
10:18:32ending or rather this
10:18:36beginning I've been searching a long
10:18:38time for someone exactly like
10:18:42you our kiss was breathless and wild and
10:18:47Wes pulled away too soon
10:18:49he wrapped his arms around me picked me
10:18:52up and moved me to the trunk of my
10:18:54car he smiled after plopping me down and
10:18:58said do you realize we could have been
10:19:00doing this for years if you weren't such
10:19:02a pain in the
10:19:04ass nah I didn't like you until
10:19:09recently enemies to lovers it's our
10:19:12Trope Buck
10:19:14BM you poor confused little love l
10:19:19a giggle shimmed through me before I set
10:19:22my hands on his face and said as I
10:19:25pulled him back to
10:19:26me just shut up and kiss
10:19:29me cue the
10:19:35bosy
10:19:37epilogue a girl will never forget the
10:19:40first boy she likes He's Just Not That
10:19:42Into You but she'll also never forget
10:19:46the first boy she hates Liz bucks
10:19:51bam I dropped the bright yellow mum into
10:19:54the hole and covered the roots with dirt
10:19:57the early September sun was hot on my
10:19:59face as I planted the flowers but it had
10:20:02the blurry feel of a day in transition
10:20:05like its heat was all for show and
10:20:07entirely lacking in the power it had
10:20:10once
10:20:11held since you have daisies in the
10:20:14summer we thought it might be nice for
10:20:16you to have mums in the fall
10:20:19I looked at my mom's headstone and
10:20:22wondered how I was going to cope with
10:20:23the
10:20:24distance I was down to 1 hour until I
10:20:27left for California and even though
10:20:29logically I knew it was silly a tiny
10:20:32part of me worried I was going to feel
10:20:34lost without our daily
10:20:36chats it was all Helena's idea Wes took
10:20:40a sip of water before picking up the bag
10:20:42of potting soil and saying to my
10:20:44mother's headstone don't let your kid
10:20:46take all the credit
10:20:49it had been Helena's idea she and I had
10:20:52had a lot of good talks after prom and
10:20:55she had been super understanding about
10:20:57my grief instead of trying to convince
10:21:00me that I should move on or get
10:21:03closure she'd bought a little bench for
10:21:05the grave site with a lovely floral
10:21:08cushion so I wouldn't have to sit on the
10:21:11ground she'd also bought me a jacket
10:21:13made of alpaca hair because she'd read
10:21:16that ghosts inherently know that the ER
10:21:18of that material is not a threat she
10:21:21made me wear it every time I went to the
10:21:23cemetery after dark because she didn't
10:21:26want me getting possessed by the devil
10:21:28or one of his
10:21:29lackes I was really starting to love my
10:21:32goofy
10:21:33stepmom he's right I said sticking out
10:21:37my tongue at
10:21:38Wes but I love the
10:21:41idea this way even though I'm not here
10:21:44my flowers will Bloom beside you unless
10:21:47they die because Liz is a horrible
10:21:50Gardener I grinned and launched the Trel
10:21:53in his direction that could actually
10:21:56happen your green thumb and frankly your
10:21:59desire to even have one is clearly
10:22:01skipping a
10:22:03generation Wes caught the gardening tool
10:22:05as if he'd expected the throw and took
10:22:07the supplies to his
10:22:09car I dusted my hands on my jeans and
10:22:12sat back on my
10:22:13heels it was a little hard to believe
10:22:16that Wes and I were both going away to
10:22:17California after we were done but it
10:22:21felt
10:22:22right he's always been there the
10:22:25annoying boy next door and now he was
10:22:27going to be The Annoying boy in the dorm
10:22:30next
10:22:30door as it turned out Wes was a rockstar
10:22:34pitcher and got offers from schools all
10:22:37over the
10:22:38country in the end he'd selected UCLA
10:22:42but he made sure I knew it had nothing
10:22:44to do with me I believe his exact words
10:22:47had been so were totally free to dump
10:22:49each other in Cali without any weird
10:22:51guilt this is just a freak accident that
10:22:54we're going to the same school not any
10:22:56love
10:22:57and then he'd given me a boyish
10:23:00grin and a kiss that made me forget my
10:23:03name for a few months now Wes had been
10:23:06going with me to my mom's grave a couple
10:23:08times a week he usually wandered away so
10:23:11I could talk to her rain or shine but
10:23:14then he always came back in time to say
10:23:16goodbye to my mom and tell her something
10:23:18sarcastic about me it was cheesy and I
10:23:22adored him for
10:23:24it well I said we should probably get
10:23:28going because we're supposed to meet Dad
10:23:30Helena and Jos in 10 minutes we were
10:23:33meeting at a cafe for breakfast and then
10:23:36my dad and Helena were driving the
10:23:37U-Haul to California while Wes and I
10:23:40followed in his
10:23:41car I stood and looked over at him as he
10:23:44closed the trunk he was wearing the
10:23:47T-shirt I'd bought him as a graduation
10:23:49present it said educated feminist
10:23:52bro I'd thought it to be funny but he
10:23:56wore it all the time it went well with
10:23:59his smartass
10:24:00smile I watched him walk around the car
10:24:03and open the back door where Mr Fitz
10:24:06pervert was sitting in his carrier in my
10:24:08favorite little plaid scarf ears up and
10:24:11listening to every outdoor noise the
10:24:13cemetery had to offer Wes called him Mr
10:24:16Fuzzy with the silly clothes and acted
10:24:19like he didn't like cats but he also
10:24:22always scratched him in the exact place
10:24:24Fitz liked behind his ear and as I stood
10:24:28there watching him talk to my
10:24:30cat I realized the
10:24:33truth he was the good guy in the
10:24:36movie yes he was funny and the life of
10:24:40the party but he was also dependable and
10:24:44understanding and
10:24:45loyal even though I realized after prom
10:24:48that I didn't need him to be he was a
10:24:52mark
10:24:53Darcy only
10:24:55better I was about to say it out loud to
10:24:58my mom when Wes looked at me with that
10:25:00smile I
10:25:02loved you ready Buck Bal Mr Fuzzy's
10:25:05getting hungry and so am
10:25:08I it was Wes's idea to choose somewhere
10:25:10with outdoor seating so Fitz could enjoy
10:25:13the great outdoors from his carrier
10:25:15before the long car
10:25:16ride how could I know not love him yeah
10:25:21I narrowed my eyes at him but ruined the
10:25:23effect by
10:25:24smiling but it's Mr Fitz pervert you
10:25:28tulle I started walking toward him but
10:25:32when I glanced back at my mom's
10:25:33headstone I almost tripped because a
10:25:36cardinal had landed on the Choke Cherry
10:25:37Branch that hung down beside it he was
10:25:41bright red and beautiful just sitting on
10:25:44the branch and looking in my
10:25:47direction I blinked fast and narrowed my
10:25:49eyes as he opened his beak and chirped
10:25:52the sweetest little
10:25:54Melody I turned back to Wes and he was
10:25:57looking at it over my
10:25:58shoulder I said you see it too right he
10:26:03gave a
10:26:05nod holy
10:26:07we both stood there staring at the
10:26:11bird after another moment he flew away
10:26:15but my heart felt lighter
10:26:18like my mother had wanted to make sure I
10:26:21knew she was happy about me
10:26:23leaving I cleared my throat and faced
10:26:27him you
10:26:29ready you
10:26:31okay he took two steps and was there
10:26:35wrapping his big body around
10:26:37mine he ran his hand over my back and
10:26:40said into my
10:26:42hair because we can stay as long as you
10:26:44want
10:26:46Liz I'm great
10:26:48actually I pulled back and let myself
10:26:51stare at his handsome face at the person
10:26:55who had always been there for me even
10:26:58when I hadn't wanted him to
10:27:01be let's go
10:27:07eat the soundtrack of Wes and
10:27:11Liz one Someone Like You Van Morrison
10:27:16two paper ring Taylor Swift three lovers
10:27:22Anna of the north four ocean eyes Billy
10:27:27eish five bad liar Selena
10:27:31Gomez six Public Service Announcement
10:27:35interlude
10:27:37Jay-Z seven up all night MC Miller 8 how
10:27:43would you feel pan Ed Sheeran nine Hello
10:27:48Operator The White Stripes 10 Paradise
10:27:53bzy 11 sabotage Beasty Boys 12 feeling
10:27:59all right Joe
10:28:01Cocker 13 Someone Like You
10:28:05Adele 14 monkey wrench Foo
10:28:09Fighters 15 belluna Jason
10:28:14morz 16 Forest Gump Frank Ocean
10:28:1917 electric featuring khed Alina
10:28:23Barz 18 kiss Tom
10:28:27Jones 19 Enter Sandman
10:28:32Metallica 20 death With Dignity sufan
10:28:37Stevens 21 We Are Young Fun period
10:28:42featuring Janelle Monae 22 New Year's
10:28:47Day Taylor Swift
10:28:4923 River Joanie Mitchell
10:28:5324 Paradise
10:28:59bosy better than the movies was written
10:29:02by Lynn painter and read by Jesse
10:29:04valinsky editing and post-production by
10:29:07Matt cartsonis this has been a
10:29:10presentation of Simon and Schuster
10:29:12audio better than the movies is
10:29:15available in print from Simon and
10:29:16Schuster books for young readers ers

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This page contains the full transcript of Better than the Movies by Lynn Painter | Full Audiobook 🎧 by The Audiobook Nook, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 88,727 words across 14,002 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

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Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to choose a caption track available on the video.

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