YT YouTube2Text

YouTube2Text → Transcripts → Atheist Dies & Meets Her Spirit Guide. She Was Sent Back With 12 Messages | Nancy Rynes

Atheist Dies & Meets Her Spirit Guide. She Was Sent Back With 12 Messages | Nancy Rynes — Transcript

by Dr. Mayim Bialik · 23,024 words · 3,672 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Open in transcriber Summarize with AI Download SRT/VTT

Full transcript

0:00Before my NDE, I was absolutely freaking
0:02terrified of death.
0:04I would have considered [music] myself
0:06an atheist. I thought our consciousness
0:08just ceased to exist.
0:10>> You almost died as you were dragged
0:12under that car.
0:14>> The first inkling that day that
0:16something [music] was brewing, a voice
0:18that said just don't go out.
0:21I didn't listen to it. She was
0:22accelerating into the stop sign, texting
0:25while she was driving. She hit me.
0:27>> Oh my god.
0:28>> I heard my body hit the pavement. My
0:30human self was terrified. My soul popped
0:33out of that immediate trauma.
0:36Everything changed literally in a
0:38heartbeat.
0:39>> Geologist Nancy Rynes was a
0:41self-described atheist until she died
0:44and met God. Her near death experience
0:46allowed [music] her to pursue a life
0:48driven by intuition and creativity.
0:50>> The doctors didn't expect [music] me to
0:52live.
0:53A 2 and 1/2 hour surgery to fix my
0:55spine. I woke up and I'm standing on a
0:58hillside with this beautiful view around
1:00me. I'm in the middle of nowhere. It was
1:03ethereal. And then I kind of noticed
1:06what appeared to be a person approaching
1:08[music] me.
1:09But I couldn't see her face. She
1:11introduced herself as my guide.
1:14>> You came back with [music] 12 specific
1:16messages.
1:17>> The 12 most important things that I was
1:19supposed to bring back.
1:29>> Hi, I'm Mayim Bialik.
1:30>> And I'm Jonathan Cohen.
1:32>> And welcome to our Breakdown. Today we
1:34have an absolutely astonishing near
1:37death experience that we're going to
1:39share with you. Nancy Rynes was a
1:41self-described atheist, trained as a
1:45geologist and an archaeologist.
1:47She was on a bike ride one day when she
1:50was hit by an SUV at full speed.
1:53She not only survived, but witnessed the
1:57crash from outside of her body,
1:59and then three days later
2:02underwent a surgery to repair a
2:04shattered spinal cord that led her to be
2:07taken by a guide into an experience of
2:11an altered state of being that removed
2:14all filters from this world and allowed
2:18her to see the truth of the human
2:20experience.
2:21We are all connected.
2:23There is a source of love in the
2:25universe that we can all access. Time is
2:28certainly not linear, and we all have
2:31the ability to impact those around us in
2:34ways that we may never fully understand.
2:37Nancy came out of this experience a
2:39changed woman.
2:41She became an artist. Her creative side
2:44flourished, and she believes that she
2:46has a new job in her life, and it's to
2:48share 12 lessons that she was given when
2:52she died.
2:53>> If you appreciate these conversations
2:55and the exploration into the nature of
2:56reality, what comes beyond and how we
3:00can all live better now, please do
3:02subscribe to the podcast. It helps so
3:05much, and we really do appreciate it.
3:07>> It's a pleasure to welcome to the
3:08breakdown Nancy Reins.
3:10>> Break it [singing] down.
3:13>> Thank you so much for having me. I
3:15really appreciate being here.
3:16>> I'd actually like you to start before
3:19your near death experience because you
3:21had a very specific
3:23set of knowing
3:25uh that something needed to shift, that
3:28something was going to shift. I wonder
3:30if you can tell us a bit about your kind
3:32of belief system
3:34and what you anticipated was about to
3:37happen, even if you didn't know exactly
3:39what that was.
3:40>> I'm going to start by giving just a
3:42brief background of where I my journey
3:45before that because it's really
3:46important.
3:47Um and we can talk about this later if
3:49you want, but
3:51there's a strong possibility I had an
3:53NDE when I was about 4 years old.
3:56And when I was a young kid, I was
3:58exceedingly spiritual. I wasn't
4:00religious, but I was really spiritual
4:02between the ages of like four
4:05and let's say 10 or 11 years old,
4:07somewhere in there, maybe 12.
4:09>> What did that look like to be spiritual
4:10for you at that age?
4:12>> [laughter]
4:13>> my parents are no longer around to to
4:15tell you the story, but I would go
4:17around telling everybody like
4:19um
4:21I swear I was like five years old when I
4:23told this to my dad when we were driving
4:26to the hardware store one day.
4:28I was looking around and I said,
4:31you know,
4:33Dad, I I think we're all just thoughts
4:35in the mind of God. And I
4:37[laughter]
4:38I I'm telling you the truth. And he
4:40looked at me like I had like five heads
4:43because this this kid next to him was
4:46talking like a philosopher.
4:48The other thing I used to to talk about
4:50with him because he was Let's just say
4:53he was not uh
4:55he he had some he had some issues with
4:58bigotry.
5:00And I used to kind of get on his case
5:01about it, and I was the only one of the
5:03kids that did. But I But I used to talk
5:06about how you know you know, Dad, we're
5:09all one. God tells us we're all one. Why
5:11you know, why are you doing this? We're
5:13all We're all one, you know, human
5:15family. We're all one spiritual family.
5:18So I think I was a challenge to my
5:20parents because after that first
5:23incident when I was four,
5:25I got I I was just I guess a weird kid,
5:28you know.
5:29Um but that kind of drifted away from me
5:33when I got into like middle school and
5:35high school.
5:38And I'm not I can't necessarily pinpoint
5:40why, but sometime in that those early
5:43high school years
5:45maybe because it was I was interested in
5:47mathematics and the sciences and I let
5:50that kind of take over my life, but I
5:53started to get really skeptical about
5:56the the existence of a a divine
5:59you know, universe. That's what I call
6:01it now, the divine universe, divinity,
6:04God. Some people would call it God. I
6:06got really skeptical about, you know, a
6:09spiritual viewpoint of
6:11of the world, of the universe.
6:14And then so we were I was raised as a
6:16Catholic and that was in
6:19kind of in the greater Chicago area back
6:21in those days.
6:23And that was also
6:25it unfortunately overlapped with the
6:27time that there was a lot of trauma
6:28within the Catholic community about,
6:32you know, young kids getting abused by
6:34priests.
6:35And that really turned me away. I just I
6:38I couldn't understand how if there was a
6:41divine being,
6:42he, she, or it would allow this to
6:44happen.
6:46And so that's really when my my really
6:49began to turn away from a spiritual
6:51viewpoint on, you know, reality.
6:55So by the time I went into
6:58university,
6:59I was and I I studied like the hardest
7:02of the sciences, literally geology.
7:05[laughter]
7:07So geology and archaeology. So you know
7:09Bert on the Big Bang theory.
7:11>> I was just going to say
7:13we have so many jokes about the
7:14geologist on the Big Bang theory.
7:17>> So that's what I was. I I mostly studied
7:19geology, but I also did my my minor was
7:22archaeology too cuz I was really a
7:24history buff.
7:26So I studied both of those. I actually
7:28became an archaeological artist for a
7:30while, went on digs in the Middle East
7:33and did I did the Indiana Jones things
7:35for a while too. So that was fun.
7:37Um I didn't have a bullwhip or anything
7:39like that, but
7:41but we were finding stuff.
7:43So that was really where I kind of got
7:45cemented in I think um material view of
7:48reality because all of my peers,
7:50all of my at least as far as I knew, all
7:54of my professors
7:56were skeptical of all of that and some
7:58of them very much so. And so I kind of I
8:01sort of absorbed that.
8:03So by the time this event happened that,
8:06you know, we're going to talk about
8:07today.
8:08That was, you know, like 15-20 years
8:11later.
8:13So in that time, I was I would say that
8:14I was
8:16on my good days, I was an agnostic,
8:18meaning I I didn't know what there was,
8:21you know, to the universe.
8:23Most days I would have considered myself
8:25an atheist.
8:27And there were some days I was kind of a
8:29nasty atheist, too.
8:30>> We know those type.
8:32>> [laughter]
8:34>> That was me back I'm not that way
8:35anymore.
8:36[laughter]
8:38Um
8:39so that this kind of where I was. The
8:41weird thing is, now this is my friends
8:44tell me how weird this is, I was still
8:46super fascinated by the idea of
8:50ESP,
8:52you know, all of those extrasensory
8:54abilities that people talk about.
8:57It still fascinated me even though I
8:59couldn't fit it in
9:01a materialist worldview.
9:05So by the time I was in my early to mid
9:0840s,
9:10I was kind of lost. You know, I had gone
9:12through uh
9:14a divorce,
9:16and I felt like my life was
9:19sort of blah, you know, not I I I didn't
9:22feel like I was doing what I wanted to
9:24do.
9:25I just felt numb and not really
9:27depressed, but but just in a weird
9:31um
9:32state like I I just didn't know what was
9:34coming next for me. Usually I I'm a type
9:36A person, so I had a clear idea of where
9:38I was going,
9:39and I didn't.
9:41So this was in late 2013.
9:44>> What was your understanding of what
9:45happens after we die in this part of
9:48your life?
9:49>> Yeah, so as a kid,
9:51I was raised to, you know, in the
9:53Catholic church, we go through this,
9:55you know,
9:56they believe that there is a soul, it
9:59survives, and that's it. You go into a
10:01purgatory state
10:03before you go to heaven, and that's it.
10:05It's just but the bad people, including
10:08the atheists, go to hell.
10:10So it's this whole fire and brimstone,
10:12you know, burn in hell and you're damned
10:14for eternity.
10:16I never actually bought into that
10:18because that didn't seem to fit
10:21with the loving God that they talked
10:23about. So there was a huge problem for
10:26me already.
10:29So when I got into my very atheistic
10:33years,
10:35I would say for probably a good 10 to 15
10:38years before my NDE, I was absolutely
10:40freaking terrified of death.
10:43I would I would sometimes even lay awake
10:45at night shivering at the thought of no
10:48longer existing because by that point
10:51I thought all this stuff was made up
10:54that our our consciousness just ceased
10:56to exist and that was it. Candle's gone.
10:58We're done.
11:01So for most of those like 10 to 15 years
11:04before my NDE
11:07I was absolutely terrified of
11:09nothingness. Just I couldn't wrap my
11:12brain around the concept of nothingness.
11:16I didn't you know, I didn't still didn't
11:17buy into the hell thing, but it was just
11:19the nothingness that bothered me.
11:22So that's kind of where I was
11:26you know, when this event happened. I
11:27was thinking that I either needed to
11:29move or get a different job in order to
11:32feel better. I was trying to externalize
11:34this problem that I was having
11:36internally.
11:38So I was thinking, well, maybe I just
11:39need to quit my job and find something
11:41else.
11:43And that's when
11:45you know, unfortunately or
11:47unfortunately, depending on what your
11:49viewpoint is, everything really changed
11:51literally in a heartbeat. It was just
11:54bam.
11:56>> [music]
11:58>> Lion B Alex Breakdown is supported by
12:00Honey Love.
12:01>> Have you noticed that most wireless bras
12:03[music] just completely miss the mark?
12:05I've tried many and they either stretch
12:08as you wear them, the band rolls up, the
12:11straps are always slipping, but
12:14not a problem anymore because I have the
12:17Honey Love X Balance Bra. It's soft and
12:20supportive, but without any underwire.
12:22It's so comfortable, I don't even feel
12:24the need to rip it off the second that I
12:25get home. Honey Love is an independent
12:28female-founded brand with products
12:29designed by women who actually wear
12:31them. They don't just make shapewear and
12:32bras either. They have tanks, bodysuits,
12:35underwear, all with supportive
12:36structure, smoothing fabrics, and
12:37premium finishes. [music]
12:39Honey Love's got a style for everyone.
12:40You can also try their crossover contour
12:42bra, which features their best-selling
12:44wireless crossover bra design plus
12:46built-in molded light foam pads for
12:47extra support and a contoured shape.
12:49Honey Love's now offering a crossover
12:51triple bra bundle. So if you want a
12:53refresh on your top drawer, you can get
12:55huge savings by buying three at once.
12:57Treat yourself to the most advanced bras
12:58and shapewear on the market. Use our
13:00exclusive link to save 20% off Honey
13:03Love at honeylove.com/breaker.
13:05That's honeylove.com/breaker.
13:08After you check out, they'll ask where
13:09you heard about them. Please support our
13:10show and tell them we sent you.
13:12>> Experience new standards in comfort and
13:14support with Honey Love.
13:19My Name is Alex Breakdown is supported
13:20by Monarch Money.
13:22>> Trying to track my spending can be very
13:24overwhelming. Between credit cards, bank
13:26statements, and savings accounts, I've
13:28got like a million tabs open to just see
13:30a general idea of what my finances are.
13:33But we tried Monarch Money and that
13:35stress is gone. With just a few clicks,
13:36we've got everything in one place. No
13:38more toggling between a million tabs.
13:40Juggling multiple banking apps, credit
13:42card portals, and investment accounts
13:43just to understand your financial
13:45picture is time-consuming and
13:46overwhelming. Monarch Money syncs
13:48accounts, cards, loans, and investments
13:51in one clean dashboard. You can see
13:53accounts, spending, net worth, debt
13:55payoff progress, and recurring bills in
13:57one beautiful view that's easy to use
13:59across platforms. Use it on your mobile
14:00app or your web browser. It syncs with
14:02over 13,000 institutions so you can have
14:05a fast, secure setup with all major
14:07banks, credit cards, and brokerages. If
14:09you're saving or paying down debt, it
14:10can be hard to know if you're actually
14:11making progress or how long it'll take.
14:13Monarch Money lets you see your net
14:15worth trends [music] and clear goal
14:16timelines, so progress feels real, gives
14:18you permission to enjoy spending on what
14:19matters without the [music] guilt. With
14:21flexible budgeting, you can create
14:22customizable rules and categories to
14:24keep everything organized, [music] and
14:26its AI-powered insights use your real
14:27financial data to surface helpful
14:29insights and explanations about your
14:31money. And it's private and ad-free.
14:33You're the customer, not the product. No
14:34ads, no data selling. [music]
14:36>> Click the link in the description to get
14:37started. You won't regret it.
14:42How many sisters are there in your
14:44family?
14:45>> Two surviving I I have an additional
14:47sister that died before this.
14:48>> Okay, cuz I I think you you talk about
14:51in your book kind of talking to your
14:53sisters and saying like
14:55feel like something needs to change.
14:57Like it sounds like there was like such
14:58a specific notion you had that like and
15:02I'm wondering if in retrospect you feel
15:05like you knew something was brewing.
15:07>> I think I did. I mean, that's really a
15:09good point to bring up because so so
15:11what we're going to talk about today
15:13happened in
15:14the early days of January of 2014. So in
15:18December of 2013 with a month before
15:22um I was having very bizarre
15:25dreams, like
15:27consistently weird
15:29dreams, but it was very specific and I
15:31was getting this nervous feeling
15:34that something was happening because the
15:36these dreams were all about butterflies.
15:39And I swear to you, I don't have any
15:41particular
15:43interest in butterflies other than they
15:45look pretty, you know.
15:47And there were times when I would have
15:49these dreams and I was surrounded by
15:51thousands of butterflies.
15:54And I
15:55told one of my sisters that dream one
15:57day
15:58and and so this was in December of 2013
16:01and she got freaked out
16:04because a friend of hers
16:07who I won't I won't name her friend had
16:09just died
16:11within the last year of of this event.
16:15And that that friend of
16:17was
16:19strongly into butterflies. Her whole
16:21house was just butterflies everywhere.
16:24So my my sister who was very spiritual
16:28thought that this person, her her friend
16:32was basically trying to tell me
16:34it's your time.
16:35>> Whoa.
16:37>> And in a way it was, but it wasn't it
16:38wasn't
16:40it wasn't physical death, I think that
16:42that the message was butterflies are
16:44really a symbol of transformation
16:47if you think about it.
16:48So I think that's what those dreams were
16:50trying to tell me. Even even though at
16:52the time I didn't
16:53I didn't understand what that meant.
16:57So that was kind of that that month
17:00before and I just I knew I was actually
17:02a little bit afraid that something bad
17:04was going to She got you know I I
17:06allowed my sister to get into my head
17:08and so I I was thinking that maybe
17:11you know something bad was going to
17:13happen.
17:15And from her perspective it was bad, but
17:17from mine it was absolutely
17:19transformational in a good way even
17:21though it was
17:22a little traumatic.
17:24>> Take us to that day
17:26when you started packing up for a bike
17:29ride.
17:30>> Yeah, so it was a typical um it was a
17:32typical I think it was a Friday.
17:35And I had actually taken
17:37a week off work between the Christmas
17:40holiday and New Year's.
17:42Um we had a
17:44we didn't have much going on at the
17:45office, so I thought you know I'll just
17:47take some time off.
17:49And at the time I lived in Colorado.
17:53And it was a beautiful winter. It's it's
17:55not like East Coast winters for people
17:58who don't know like in the Denver area
18:00we can have 70 degree days in January
18:03and it's
18:04kind of typical.
18:05Um but then it'll snow and we'll get 3
18:07ft of snow and you know. But this day it
18:09happened to be pretty warm and I thought
18:11I would just go on a bike ride.
18:13Um and I was just going to go on a
18:15little bike ride around town to run some
18:17errands and
18:18and and a little trail ride. So it
18:20wasn't that of a deal. I did this quite
18:22a bit.
18:23So I was putting putting all my my stuff
18:27in my I had a little, you know, backpack
18:28that I was
18:30that I was carrying around and got my
18:32helmet and everything and I'm
18:34stuffing my,
18:36you know, jacket and stuff in my
18:37backpack
18:39and I had this
18:41knowing that I just needed to not go out
18:43today.
18:45And I there was a I had a real strong
18:48argument with myself. Like there was a
18:50part of me that said just don't go out
18:52today.
18:54But I couldn't You know, as a I I'm a,
18:56you know, left brain thinker at that
18:58point.
19:00And I thought, what is that? I mean,
19:02that doesn't make any sense.
19:04So I just
19:06ignored it [laughter]
19:08and went out anyway.
19:11So that was that was like the first
19:13inkling that day that something
19:16was brewing. Like I I never had any
19:20It was like a voice that said just don't
19:23do it today. Just don't go out.
19:26So I didn't listen to it [laughter]
19:28and went out on It Honestly, I didn't
19:32even make it
19:34I don't even think it was a half a mile
19:35from my house
19:37and went I was going to, you know, bike
19:40to the library and drop off some books,
19:43but I didn't even make it a half a mile
19:44from the house and
19:47went into a roundabout, one of those
19:50traffic circles, which was brand new for
19:52us in Colorado. We didn't have a lot of
19:54those.
19:56And as I went in,
19:58I noticed some cars coming in, you know,
20:01from a side street on my right. And they
20:04looked okay. It didn't It didn't look to
20:06be an issue.
20:08So I kept going cuz I had a guy right
20:10behind me and this was a one lane only
20:13traffic circle.
20:14So there was a guy right behind me. He
20:16was He was
20:17being respectful. He wasn't right on my
20:19tail, but he was still back there.
20:21And And then I had these two other
20:23vehicles coming in from the right. And
20:25unfortunately, at the very last second,
20:27I realized that that first vehicle
20:30coming from the right was accelerating,
20:33not stopping at the intersection with
20:35the traffic circle.
20:37And at that point, it was it was too
20:40late. There wasn't really anything I
20:41could do. Um
20:43and she hit me.
20:45And that was uh Unfortunately, I didn't
20:48Well, I guess in a way, it was fortunate
20:51that I didn't lose consciousness, but I
20:53remember every millisecond of that whole
20:55accident still.
20:58And so the first thing I tried to do is
21:00I guess I was trying to do a pole vault
21:01or something over the vehicle, so I put
21:03my hand [laughter] out.
21:04>> Yeah, I I have to say your description
21:07in your book is like unbelievable
21:09because you're very clinical. You are a
21:11scientist and you're very very clinical
21:13with how you describe it. Like the level
21:16of detail that you were able to process
21:18in real time and then recount I mean,
21:21every moment literally mattered. And
21:25it's so fascinating,
21:27you know Well, I'll I'll let you keep
21:29going. I don't want to get ahead of you.
21:31>> You're right in that I remember
21:34everything, but it was like it this
21:35whole the whole accident itself took I
21:39don't know, 30 seconds or less. To me,
21:42it felt like hours because during, you
21:45know, traumatic events like that,
21:47time kind of flies out the window.
21:49There's a different You experience time
21:52differently.
21:54And
21:55what I experienced was like a hyper
21:58focus on every millisecond,
22:00which I think in in retrospect helped me
22:03survive. If I didn't have that, you
22:05know, I would have probably died cuz I
22:07ended up
22:09on the the the hood of her SUV.
22:12>> How fast was this truck going when it
22:15hit you?
22:15>> I'd have to go back and look at the at
22:17the police report, but I think the the
22:20police estimated she was going about 30
22:23miles an hour.
22:25So she wasn't slowing down
22:27[clears throat] into a nurse. There's a
22:28stop she had a stop sign there.
22:30So she wasn' slowing, she was
22:33accelerating into the stop sign.
22:38Um and I found out why when I was on the
22:40hood of her SUV looking in. She had her
22:42phone up on her steering wheel kind of
22:44doing she was texting while she was
22:45driving.
22:47She didn't even see me looking in the
22:48windshield at her.
22:50>> She makes impact with your body. You end
22:53up on the hood of her car.
22:56>> I'm trying to get her attention, but I'm
22:57also trying to hang on because
23:00she keeps she doesn't even see me. So
23:02she's continuing to drive
23:05and cuz she's focused on her phone.
23:08And I'm trying to hang on because I know
23:10that if I go down it that's it we're I'm
23:12toast.
23:14She's in a at this point she's in a
23:16she's in a turn because she's going
23:18around the circle.
23:19So there's there's there's like no way
23:21that I'm not going to get run over at
23:23this point.
23:25But I can't hold on and she's not seeing
23:27me.
23:28And I ended up losing my grip on the um
23:33I was kind of up over the hood of her
23:35vehicle had grip kind of a grip on the
23:37the top of her hood and I lost my grip.
23:39I just couldn't hang on anymore and fell
23:42down
23:43and went off the the front underneath of
23:46her front
23:47you know underneath the engine
23:48compartment.
23:49>> It sounds like you're a stunt woman.
23:51This kind [laughter] of like the way
23:52that you're describing it this literally
23:55sounds like something you'd see in a
23:57movie. Like Jason Statham should be
23:59doing this.
23:59>> It was in a movie. It was in Indiana
24:02Jones.
24:03>> So you're on the hood of her car and
24:05then you start falling and
24:08you're basically trying to avoid being
24:10trampled underneath the car at 30 mph.
24:14>> Yeah exactly and if if you've seen
24:15Indiana Jones where he goes off the
24:17front of the the truck
24:19and underneath that that was me. That's
24:21what except I didn't have all the
24:22padding on
24:24that that stunt man had on.
24:26>> So you slide down the front of her car,
24:29like very cinematic. And you described
24:32like you remember seeing the license
24:35plate as you were going down.
24:37>> Yeah, everything. I was trying to grab
24:39on to something.
24:41So I remember, you know, trying to grab
24:43on to first of all the grill,
24:46and then the license plate, which I
24:47couldn't grab, and then the bumper.
24:49>> Oh my god.
24:51>> And I kept, you know, and then I was
24:53then I was underneath.
24:55You know, I heard my shoulder I heard my
24:57[snorts]
24:57um my body hit the pavement. I don't
25:00want to talk about that cuz it's pretty
25:01gross, but
25:03um I heard I heard myself hit the
25:05pavement.
25:07Thank god I had a helmet on. So anybody
25:08who's a cyclist, there's a reason why
25:10you wear a helmet.
25:11>> Maybe if you're not a cyclist, just when
25:13you're walking around, I think everyone
25:15needs to start wearing helmets.
25:18>> It's the honestly, the helmet is really
25:20the only reason I survived that that
25:22accident. That and and some people that
25:24helped out right afterward.
25:25>> So what I don't even know what the
25:27underside of a car looks like. What are
25:29you holding on to?
25:31>> So I at some point I automatically just
25:34reached up with my right arm,
25:37and I'm still trying to grab something.
25:39And I ended up putting my hand over her
25:41her um
25:43the axle underneath the vehicle. So that
25:45that front I don't know what it's
25:47technically called, but it's
25:49uh the front drivetrain basically.
25:52So I had my my had my right arm kind of
25:55like this
25:56up over
25:58the um
25:59that axle thing.
26:02And I'm you know, I'm looking at the
26:03underside of her vehicle. I didn't I
26:05actually didn't think I was going to
26:06survive it.
26:08Like how do you survive something like
26:09that?
26:11And at that point I was thinking, you
26:13know, I was terrified
26:16and wondering,
26:19you know, how this was all going to I
26:20didn't see an I didn't see a good end to
26:22this accident at that point. And I was
26:25terrified, absolutely
26:27like a wounded animal would be. Just
26:29absolutely terrified, just trying to
26:31survive.
26:32Um,
26:34but this is what was the weird, like
26:35there's a This was the first part of
26:39the experience that I really wanted to
26:42get into was
26:45at the same time that that was happening
26:47and I was terrified, my human self was
26:49terrified.
26:51There was a part of me that popped out
26:53of the accident. So if you would if you
26:55will, my soul or my higher self
26:58popped out of that immediate trauma
27:02and was standing off to the side kind of
27:05watching everything happen.
27:08And that was the that actually freaked
27:10me out.
27:11>> So hold on. Wait, so you're being
27:13dragged under an SUV
27:17clinging on for dear life, but you're
27:20also aware that there's a part of you
27:23that's observing this?
27:25>> Yep.
27:26Yep.
27:27>> That's a lot of information coming at
27:30you while you're trying to save your own
27:32life.
27:33>> Oh, absolutely. [laughter]
27:35That was the first
27:38of all of So whatever we're going to
27:40talk about today, that was the first
27:41inclination that I had that
27:44something in my understanding of reality
27:46was not right.
27:48But I didn't I didn't have time to
27:50really dwell on it.
27:53And the And the really It got weirder
27:55from there, if you can imagine. So the
27:57part of my higher I'll call it my higher
27:59self or my soul was standing outside
28:02watching all of this happen. And that
28:04part of me
28:06was very observer-like,
28:09very kind and compassionate, but also
28:11not scared.
28:13And that part of me was talking to the
28:15human part of me trying to calm down the
28:18human part of me
28:20so that I could survive.
28:21>> This is part of where, you know, kind of
28:24our scientific explanation of what
28:26happened to you has to step in because
28:31in an instant you were able to
28:33essentially gather a tremendous amount
28:36of information. On a physiological
28:38level, right? You're gathering all of
28:40this information about where you are in
28:42space, but you are also capable
28:47of maintaining
28:49a knowledge of some other part of you,
28:52right? Like that that's kind of a
28:54phenomenal moment. And we're not talking
28:57about you're taking time to meditate and
29:00you're tapping into your higher self and
29:02I have an observer and it's a non-dual
29:05world. We're talking about in the moment
29:07I mean, when I was reading this, what
29:10occurred to me was like, oh, this is the
29:13NDE because you're describing a split of
29:16consciousness, which as you later talk
29:18about
29:20to me, what this sounds like is you were
29:22dying. You were possibly at the
29:25threshold of death and something snapped
29:29that back into you. But in that moment
29:32where you had an awareness of observing
29:34yourself by all psychiatric,
29:38psychological and like every
29:40understanding we have of a near-death
29:42experience, it was happening. You almost
29:45died as you were dragged under that car
29:48and the part of you that exists outside
29:50of your physical being was watching it
29:53happen and was also in a peaceful
29:56observer state surrounding that. It's
29:58unreal.
29:59>> I mean, it was to me in that moment,
30:01too. I had no idea what to do with that.
30:03As you can imagine, that was the first
30:05inkling that I had that
30:07the world wasn't the way I thought it
30:09was, but I didn't have time to really
30:11dwell on that. I was trying to
30:13survive, but I knew that something had
30:16shifted. And when I late so
30:18just skipping forward to talk to kind of
30:20address your point,
30:21the the chaplain who came into my room
30:24later after the the real NDE,
30:28basically that's what she said, too. You
30:29were that was her understanding of what
30:32my you know, what what I experienced was
30:34well, during the accident itself, you
30:36were on the verge of death.
30:38And then,
30:39then something snapped you back in. So,
30:41you're exactly right. That's the way
30:43that she read it, too. And that's how I
30:45see it today. It was
30:48it it was the moment where I could have
30:50left.
30:52And honestly, the the guy that was
30:54driving behind me in the in the Subaru,
30:58he couldn't believe that I didn't die.
31:00He ended up he was an ER physician on
31:02his way to work.
31:06>> [music]
31:07>> My name is Alex Breakdown is supported
31:08by Article.
31:09>> We are so excited about our [music]
31:12Timber Sofa from Article.
31:15Are you counting down the minutes till
31:16it arrives?
31:17>> I'm counting down the minutes till
31:18Archie gets to climb up to tell us if he
31:20likes it.
31:21>> Also, an Article team member is going to
31:23be the one delivering right to the room
31:25where we want it and assembling [music]
31:26it. Article makes it effortless to
31:28create a stylish, long-lasting home at
31:30an unbeatable price with curated styles
31:33ranging from mid-century modern,
31:34coastal, and [music] Scandi inspired.
31:37This thoughtful design approach makes it
31:38incredibly easy to mix and match,
31:40helping you create a space that feels
31:41cohesive and stylish. Article focuses
31:43solely on high-quality, meaningful
31:45pieces that will stand the test of time.
31:47There's no filler. Every item is chosen
31:49for its craftsmanship, [music] design,
31:50and lasting value. You can immediately
31:52tell the difference in quality when you
31:53receive an Article piece. With secure
31:55joints and sturdy hardware, you know
31:57this piece is going to last. Article
31:59offers fast, affordable shipping across
32:01the US and Canada with options for
32:03professional assembly. If you have a
32:04question or need help with your design
32:06choices, they have customer care
32:07available seven days a week with
32:09knowledgeable support and even free
32:10interior design services. With Article's
32:1230-day satisfaction guarantee, you can
32:14shop with confidence knowing you can
32:15easily return it. This piece of mind
32:17ensures you can invest in your home
32:19without hesitation. Article's offering
32:21our listeners $50 off your first
32:22purchase of $100 or more. To claim,
32:24visit article.com/myim
32:27and the discount will automatically be
32:28applied at checkout.
32:29>> That's article.com/myim
32:32for $50 off your first purchase of $100
32:35or more.
32:38My name is Alex Breakdown supported by
32:39Cove Pure.
32:40>> Researchers have been documenting male
32:43fish developing female characteristics
32:45in rivers all across the United States.
32:46[music] Actually comes, they think, from
32:48birth control pills that wastewater
32:50treatment plants can't fully filter out
32:52and it's in the same water that runs
32:53into your home, which is why we use Cove
32:55Pure to purify our water. Here's how it
32:57works. When people take medication,
32:58their bodies don't absorb all of it. The
33:00rest gets flushed, goes through
33:02wastewater treatment, and those plants
33:03were actually not built to catch
33:05pharmaceutical compounds. So estrone
33:07from birth control pills, antibiotics,
33:08antidepressants can come right back out
33:11of the tap. Your standard pitcher filter
33:13from the store isn't going to cut it
33:14here. These compounds are too small,
33:16they're too persistent. You need
33:17something that can filter things at a
33:18molecular level and that's what Cove
33:20Pure is. Their clear wave reverse
33:22osmosis technology is certified to
33:24remove up to 99.9% of contaminants,
33:27estrone, fluoride, PFAS, lead, arsenic,
33:29basically anything that isn't water gets
33:31filtered out. The best part about Cove
33:33Pure is that we actually noticed a
33:35difference in the taste of our water. I
33:36think this is how water is supposed to
33:38taste.
33:38>> It's delicious.
33:39>> Those fish didn't have a choice about
33:40what was in their water, but you do. Go
33:42to covepure.com/breakdown. Right now you
33:44can get $250 off. That's covepure.com/
33:49>> Breakdown.
33:52>> [music]
33:53>> Get us back to you're underneath the
33:55SUV. You're holding on to some part of
33:58the car that I don't understand and at
34:00that time [laughter] you kind of didn't
34:01either.
34:03You you are being dragged against the
34:05pavement and as you describe it, the
34:08only thing that protected your skin and
34:12your casing for your nervous system was
34:16the backpack on your back where you had
34:19thrown an extra set of clothes.
34:21>> Right. Yep.
34:23>> So you're being dragged under this SUV.
34:26She eventually stops. Is that what
34:28happens?
34:29>> Yeah, and the the only way that I
34:31actually know what happened
34:33with her stopping is because of that
34:35part of me that was outside.
34:38Otherwise I would have never known. So
34:40this is how I now that that was real
34:42because underneath the car, underneath
34:45the SUV, I can't see much because I'm,
34:48you know, looking up
34:50and all I can see because my eyes are
34:52almost in her engine. It's there's not a
34:55lot of room under there.
34:57Um, I'm just looking at her engine. I
35:00can't see anything around.
35:02But that my higher self or observer self
35:06watched what happened. So she got part
35:08way around
35:10the the traffic circle
35:13and then the the guy who was driving a a
35:16silver colored Toyota truck
35:19was behind her, you know, as she was
35:21coming into that traffic circle.
35:24He drove around the traffic circle the
35:27opposite direction and got his truck in
35:29front of her
35:30and physically stopped her. He actually
35:32put his own life on the line and and
35:36stopped her. And he put his, you know,
35:38he put his truck on the line too cuz she
35:39may have just
35:41plowed into him.
35:42But but she saw the truck So she saw
35:45this guy's truck and she stopped.
35:47And that's kind of how all of this
35:51started to resolve was when
35:53she finally, you know, got her attention
35:55up out of her phone long enough to see
35:57that there was a vehicle across the
35:59street in front of her.
36:02So that's when
36:04uh so that that's when the um the people
36:07on the scene
36:08helped to kind of they got
36:10you know, they got the the SUV pushed
36:12off of me. I wasn't I was not pinned
36:15underneath of it. I was still in between
36:17the front wheels. Thank God, you know,
36:21but I I wasn't pinned underneath, but
36:23they pushed that SUV back so they could
36:25get to me.
36:26And then, you know, obviously called um
36:30called the 911.
36:32But
36:33it was lucky for me not, you know, the
36:36the uh the fire department was like
36:39I don't know, half a mile away. It
36:41wasn't that far off. I was in a really
36:43good spot for getting immediate help. I
36:46was in this
36:47um spot near a luckily near a trauma
36:50center, too. So, it was all very
36:52fortuitous that everything happened the
36:54way it did.
36:55>> What you were experiencing at this
36:57point, you've been dragged under this
36:59car,
37:00we're dealing with you know, this kind
37:03of enormous crisis scene because you
37:05have a woman who was essentially unaware
37:08that she hit a cyclist and then dragged
37:11you under her car, had to be sort of
37:13forcibly stopped, and you now have an
37:16entire group of people.
37:18There also was a woman who came to your
37:22side
37:23who
37:24mysteriously has not been able to be
37:27located or
37:29or identified.
37:31Who was this woman and what did she do
37:33until you were taken to the hospital?
37:36>> Yeah, so once they once the onlookers
37:38kind of pushed that SUV
37:41away,
37:42my initial instinct was
37:45came out of nowhere to get up and run.
37:48Well, to get up, punch the woman who hit
37:51me and then run.
37:52>> So, in in this state with what we now
37:54know was essentially a shattered spine,
37:57I mean in various places, you had a very
38:00strong instinct that you you felt anger
38:04and rage and wanted to essentially fight
38:08this person who had done this to you
38:10and you're barely functioning
38:13physiologically.
38:14>> If I would have made an effort to get
38:16up,
38:18I probably again it would have been
38:21immediate
38:22lights out, death on the scene because
38:24as you said, my spine was a mess.
38:29And so were all the ligaments and
38:30tendons holding my head onto my neck. I
38:33mean everything was shattered.
38:35So, if I would have gotten up at that
38:37point,
38:38the doctors told me later it would have
38:40immediately severed my spine
38:43or spinal cord up at the you know, at
38:45the very top. My my neck was in such bad
38:48shape that there was no way that I could
38:50have gotten up
38:51and survived it.
38:53>> Just for a little bit of context, I
38:55broke my toe last week and I thought I
38:57might not be able to go on living. Like
39:00I couldn't speak to anyone. I was
39:03weeping. Like I was like, I don't know
39:06how to function. You're describing
39:09fragments
39:11of your own vertebrae
39:13threatening to sever not only your
39:16spinal cord, but your brain stem, and
39:19you're still kind of consciously
39:21calculating
39:23revenge
39:25as well as your own mortality and a
39:27split in your consciousness. And we
39:29haven't even gotten to your actual near
39:32death experience.
39:33>> Right.
39:34Yeah, this this was this was opening
39:37number one, but that's exactly. And I
39:39still don't I mean, the amount of
39:42the human body and mind's ability to
39:45process information is vastly
39:48underrated.
39:49>> Especially Nancy's because I'm pretty
39:51clear how I function. Broken toe,
39:54life is over.
39:56>> So I want to make make sure everybody
39:57understands. So in that moment, during
39:59the accident, I actually felt no pain
40:03because of those natural, you know, the
40:05natural endorphins that we have, I
40:08absolutely felt zero pain. That's why I
40:11thought I could get up
40:12and run.
40:14I didn't feel like any I actually felt
40:17fine in that moment.
40:19>> PCP is one of the drugs that when people
40:22take PCP,
40:24they often have no perception of pain or
40:27an ability Like, you know, this is these
40:29stories when police officers arrest
40:31people who are on PCP, they're often
40:33kind of like fighting all the way down
40:35and they're jumping over cars and
40:37they're jumping off bridges, right? Like
40:39meaning we know some of the the
40:41chemical, you know, mechanisms, right,
40:43that subserve
40:45these kinds of systems. And you talk a
40:48lot about how you were just kind of like
40:49an ordinary person. Like I don't know
40:51why this happened to me, but also like
40:53this is a very special set of
40:55capabilities that you ended up needing
40:58to harness in this moment and and many
41:01others that followed.
41:02>> Yeah. I actually am very very grateful
41:05that
41:07for all of this
41:09that we're going to talk about and that
41:10we've already talked about. I'm so happy
41:13number one
41:14that I had worked out
41:16physically consistently because I think
41:18that was one of the main reasons I
41:19survived because I was very fit.
41:22I was very strong and I did a lot of
41:24resistance training and a lot of cardio.
41:27>> I feel like that's kind of a that's a
41:28low blow at my broken toe because I'm
41:30[laughter] not not very fit right now.
41:32>> But you know broken bones hurt. They
41:34really should hurt. There's a reason why
41:35they hurt.
41:36>> Just the middle toe. [laughter]
41:38What was the other thing that you were
41:39talking about in terms of of your
41:41gratitude?
41:42>> Because I was a scientist
41:44I was able to tap into that ability
41:48to think my way through
41:50from here on out rather than to be
41:52controlled by
41:54emotion and what I wanted to see.
41:57So I think that really helped me analyze
42:01all of this certainly in in the long
42:03term, but definitely in that short term
42:05as well.
42:06It still didn't help me with this woman
42:08that you asked about.
42:10I I still don't have an answer for her.
42:12So
42:15when I was laying there and I really had
42:17that desire to get up and run
42:20there was a a blonde woman that kind of
42:22came up out of nowhere. Now granted I'm
42:24laying down. I don't know where she came
42:26from.
42:27>> But she was blonde.
42:29>> All I remember all I really remember was
42:32her a big blonde ponytail
42:34and she had sweatpants on like these
42:36gray
42:37gray sweatpants on.
42:40And she came up and she said her name
42:42was
42:43Anne or Annie. I honestly can't remember
42:45what she said. She did give me her last
42:47name, but I could never remember it.
42:51And she said her name was
42:52that she was a trauma nurse, and that
42:55she was going to help me until the
42:56paramedics arrived.
42:59So she physically I could she probably
43:01saw
43:03that I was wanting to get up and and
43:05anybody I assume who's been trained in
43:08in as a trauma nurse or physician knows
43:11the first thing you need to do is put
43:12your put keep the person still.
43:16You know, they can't get up and run.
43:18Not a good idea.
43:20So she put her hands on my shoulders and
43:22physically held me down
43:25and kept, you know, she kept my spine
43:26straight. She kept my shoulders down.
43:29She talked to me until the paramedics
43:31got there.
43:33And and I still at the whole time this
43:35was happening. So I'm still in split
43:37consciousness mode at this point while
43:39she's there.
43:41So human Nancy is looking at her and and
43:43trying to calm down and
43:46you know, soul Nancy is just watching
43:48all this unfold with this amazing
43:52everything's going to be okay kind of
43:54attitude.
43:56Even though my human self didn't think
43:58things were going to be okay, the the
44:01the soul part of me was saying, don't
44:03worry, it's going to be fine.
44:06But it's so so she was there for, you
44:08know, however long it took for the
44:10paramedics to arrive, which actually
44:11wasn't that long. They were very close.
44:14So a few minutes.
44:16And then as soon as they came
44:19of course they're trying to assess my
44:20injuries
44:22at that point.
44:23And one of the paramedics kind of I was
44:25still laying on the ground on, you know,
44:27on my back down and he he reached around
44:29behind my neck like this and just barely
44:32touched my skin and I screamed. That's
44:34when the pain came in.
44:37And I couldn't believe
44:39the amount of pain I was in in that
44:41moment. And when that pain came through,
44:44that's when bam, both of those parts of
44:47myself came back together in my body. It
44:50was like
44:51soul Nancy came and slammed back into my
44:53body
44:54all in that moment. And
44:56yeah, the pain was
44:58awful at that point, but luckily up
45:00until that point I didn't have any.
45:02>> This woman, Ann or Annie
45:05um she seems to sort of disappear.
45:09>> Actually, one of the police officers
45:11came and talked to me later. He actually
45:13did speak with her
45:15for a few moments.
45:17And he what he told me was is weird as
45:20what we're what I'm about to tell you
45:22like in in she asked she asked if
45:26if I wanted her to be in the ambulance.
45:28And I said, sure, please come cuz I'm
45:30terrified at this point. I said, come to
45:32you know, get in the ambulance, come to
45:33the ER with me, which was
45:36literally half a mile in a different
45:38direction. So it wasn't that far.
45:41And so she said, yeah, I'll do that.
45:43I'll I'll make sure I'm in the ambulance
45:45with you.
45:46And
45:48she just from my perspective she
45:50disappeared. I I don't she never
45:52actually got into the ambulance that I'm
45:54aware of. I didn't see her.
45:56And from my perspective she disappeared.
45:58The police officer did speak with her.
46:01He said he spoke with her for a few
46:03minutes.
46:04She refused to give him her name.
46:07She wouldn't give him any details about
46:09who she was or where she could be
46:12reached. And then he said, and I turned
46:14around and looked back to find her and
46:16she was gone. So from his perspective
46:18she disappeared as well.
46:21So we don't we don't know.
46:23>> Do you know the origins of the name Ann?
46:25>> No, I don't actually.
46:27>> Ooh, this is a fun fact. So Ann, I had a
46:30feeling comes from
46:32it comes from the Hebrew for Hannah,
46:34which is Hanna, and it means grace or
46:37favor as in God has favored me.
46:41>> That's cool. Yeah.
46:42>> It's pretty cool.
46:43>> Yeah.
46:44I mean whoever whoever she was, whatever
46:46she was,
46:48she
46:50made it so that I'm able to get up and
46:52walk around today and survive that. If
46:54it hadn't been for
46:56her intervention, whoever she was,
46:58whatever she was,
47:00I likely would not have made it this
47:02far. And if I had, it would have been,
47:04you know, in a wheelchair. So I'm super
47:07grateful for what she was able to do for
47:10me.
47:11>> So you're placed in an ambulance. This
47:14woman
47:16is not with you and you go to the
47:18hospital and just to sort of get us to
47:21this next part of the story, there's
47:23there's
47:25you know, kind of an excruciating
47:27several days until you can actually be
47:30operated on. And there's the and you
47:32know, this is I highly recommend
47:34obviously that people read Awakenings
47:36from the Light. Um you know, the details
47:38of sort of like both like the
47:40bureaucratic system and also your
47:42particular sort of medication reactions
47:45and preferences leads you to be was it
47:49three days?
47:50>> Yeah.
47:51>> So you're in
47:53the hospital in this state where I mean
47:56in addition to your spine being
47:59threatened, right? To be essentially
48:02impeding your spinal cord. Tell us about
48:05some of the other injuries that you have
48:07going into the surgery.
48:10>> Sure. Um so I had a cracked pelvis,
48:13which is not surprising.
48:15I had this collar bone was broken out
48:18here.
48:19A distal fracture on the collar bone. Um
48:22the rib five ribs on my left side were
48:24broken in a couple of places each.
48:27Punctured punctured and partially
48:29collapsed lung.
48:31Uh I had some internal bleeding
48:32somewhere in my abdomen which
48:35they couldn't pinpoint right away but
48:37but took care of itself fairly shortly.
48:40So it that they weren't worried about.
48:42Um my sternum was cracked, which I'm
48:45told is really a tough
48:47tough bone to crack but my sternum was
48:49cracked as well.
48:51And and then I had uh uh
48:55bleed bleeding in my brain kind of back
48:57here, which that was the thing that they
49:00were most worried about, which they
49:01didn't tell me that at the time. I
49:03didn't even know I had a brain bleed at
49:04the time.
49:06They were trying to keep me calm, and so
49:08they only told my family some of this
49:10stuff, which I found out later. So they
49:12didn't tell me about the brain bleed
49:15um until my niece, who is a who is a
49:18nurse, told me about that,
49:20you know, quite a while later. But she
49:22you know, my niece also related that the
49:24doctors told the family that they didn't
49:27expect me to live
49:28for the weekend. So this happened on a
49:30Friday.
49:31They told my family just don't expect
49:33her to be around on Monday.
49:35>> You can't stay present when your body is
49:37like that, right? Like there there is a
49:39survival mechanism where you have to
49:41leave. Now, what we haven't really
49:43understood before is the notion that
49:45leaving can still have an awareness of
49:47what's happening, right? Like we don't
49:50know where that leaving goes to.
49:52>> Well, and I think at this point what's
49:54fascinating is, you know, you're in in a
49:57variety of medicated states through this
50:00weekend to try and essentially, you
50:03know, stop the human instinct to run, to
50:06flee, to tighten, to you know, like this
50:09is sort of where you know, there's
50:12there's a miracle, right? In certain
50:14medications that can try and depress,
50:17right? The system. But you survive the
50:20weekend and you are wheeled into
50:22surgery. And what I think is really
50:25interesting is you've been under
50:27anesthesia before. So you kind of you're
50:30being wheeled in, you have a lot of
50:32anxiety, which is again not unusual,
50:35right? And you figure you're going to
50:37have the kind of experience you've had
50:38in the past. And for anyone who's been
50:40put under general anesthesia, it's not
50:42fun. They tell you to count backwards.
50:45And, you know, in my experience, you
50:47know, you start counting and then you
50:50wake up a second later and you're, you
50:53know, recovering in, you know, um a
50:56nurse's station and everything's been
50:58done and it's been hours, right? And
51:00what you describe is that you were
51:02wheeled into surgery expecting for that
51:04to happen. What happened after you
51:07counted down?
51:08>> I think I made it to like
51:11nine. [laughter]
51:12So if I counted down from 10, you know,
51:15I made it to nine.
51:17And you know, I just expected that gray
51:20blah and then like you said, you wake up
51:22in recovery.
51:24And
51:26and so this was expected to be like a
51:27two and a half hour surgery to to fix my
51:30spine.
51:31And I I drifted off on that on the count
51:33of nine.
51:35And I came to I thought I actually
51:37thought that I had woken up out of
51:39anesthesia at first.
51:41And it
51:42freaked me out because all of a sudden I
51:44was aware of everything around me, but I
51:47I I woke up and I'm like standing on a
51:49hillside with this beautiful view around
51:52me.
51:53But it wasn't it wasn't an earth
51:56viewpoint. It was
51:59ethereal. It was almost uh
52:02I don't know. Sil- there was like a
52:03silvery cast to it. There was energy
52:06flowing everywhere.
52:08It was
52:10At first I just noticed this visual of
52:13oh my gosh, I'm standing up.
52:16I'm not supposed to be standing. Why am
52:18I standing up? But and then it's like
52:20the second thing I noticed is
52:23there's this I'm in the I'm in the
52:24middle of nowhere. There's nothing
52:26around me except hills and trees and
52:30you know, this beautiful view.
52:32>> Did it look like anywhere you'd been
52:33before or were you in a foreign place in
52:37the middle of this surgery?
52:38>> It wasn't like any place I'd physically
52:40been to on in this reality in this on
52:43this planet.
52:45It I think it reminds me now since I
52:47started, you know, kind of trying to
52:50put a visual on it for my readers.
52:53It it looked a lot like the Highlands of
52:55Scotland now in hindsight, but I've
52:57never been there. I've not in this
52:59lifetime. I've never never been there.
53:02But it very like rolling kind of rolling
53:04mountains
53:05uh with some trees and like this misty
53:08fog, but everything was very
53:10silvery toned. There was like this glint
53:13or metallic glint to everything, but
53:16there was no sun in the sky. That was my
53:18first clue that something wasn't quite
53:20right.
53:21It was just this beautiful bright
53:24sky that was
53:26almost like a photographer's umbrella,
53:29kind of that that diffuse light,
53:32but very bright, but it didn't hurt. And
53:36and then I just noticed this
53:39it looked like tendrils of energy
53:42flowing everywhere. That's the only
53:43that's the only way I could describe it.
53:46There underneath of everything that I
53:48saw was the these pulsating
53:51energy lines of energy.
53:53>> Was this a physical thing that you're
53:55sensing or was it an emotional knowing?
54:00>> Kind of both. Well, it seemed to me at
54:02the time at the very at the very initial
54:04stages, I thought it was a physical
54:06place.
54:09But very quickly I realized that it was
54:11a construct. And that's, you know, we'll
54:13get into that too. But but at first
54:16because I'm still in Earth mode in my in
54:19my thinking, I'm trying to think about
54:22where does this fit within my knowing of
54:27planet Earth.
54:28And and so I thought it was a physical
54:30place at first.
54:32And the more I was I'm standing there
54:34kind of like, you know, as a scientist
54:36you're going checking off all these
54:38boxes like, is it this? Is it this? What
54:41does this look like?
54:43There was a moment after going through
54:45all those the checklist, I thought
54:48I wonder if I died. And I had that
54:53kind of aha moment of, oh my gosh,
54:56I may may have actually died on the
54:58operating table.
54:59>> So you're thinking
55:01I'm in some after world I mean were you
55:04thinking I'm in heaven?
55:07>> I didn't
55:07>> call it that for myself.
55:10I I just thought it was some sort of
55:12quote afterlife, which now I don't like
55:14that term either, but
55:16but I thought it was some sort of like
55:19afterlife kind of thing.
55:21Um
55:23and
55:25once I kind once I glommed onto the idea
55:28in my brain that I must have died,
55:31the next the next thing I asked, and
55:33this this still really
55:36gets to me cuz this is where the
55:37emotional
55:39knowing
55:41the knowing at the I should say at the
55:42intuitive level comes in.
55:45I asked the question in my mind,
55:48well, if I had died,
55:50why am I here? Because my parents and
55:53the the pastors always told me I should
55:55have gone to hell
55:57because I was an I died an atheist and I
55:59didn't have last rights or any of that
56:01stuff. So in that
56:04you know, in in that mode of thinking,
56:06I'm like, well, wait a minute,
56:09if I did die down there on the operating
56:12table,
56:13this doesn't look like any idea of hell
56:15I've ever been told about. Why am I not
56:18there?
56:21And this is what really it it really
56:23chokes me up because
56:26there was an answer, which I didn't
56:27expect. [laughter]
56:29I didn't expect anybody to answer me. I
56:31just thought I was there by myself.
56:34There was an answer.
56:36And it was like this
56:37kind of voice
56:39loud but not loud at the same time that
56:42was around kind of around me and it came
56:44through me
56:46with also an emotional welcoming and it
56:49said
56:50uh effective I can't remember the exact
56:52words now, but essentially
56:55this is your home. You're a child of
56:57mine. You're a part of me.
56:59Welcome home. This is your home.
57:02And that's kind of when first of all, I
57:04started bawling.
57:06Couldn't stop myself. I was bawling my
57:08eyes out.
57:10And at least was my perception in that
57:12space. I perceived that I was balling my
57:14eyes out. It was so emotional that I
57:16couldn't control it anymore.
57:18And then I remembered.
57:20That's when the memory came back of
57:23before this life.
57:26That there was a before
57:28and that there is an after. And
57:30everything sort of flooded back in that
57:32moment like
57:34that's right. This is home.
57:37And all that stuff that was happening in
57:39my life as Nancy on in the Earth reality
57:43that was a nice little
57:45dream
57:48and a learning experience, but now it's
57:49over and I'm back home.
57:51And it was this like welcoming
57:54feeling of finally I'm back home.
57:58And just feeling loved and welcome in a
58:01way that I can't I just can't describe
58:02it. It was it's just so amazing.
58:06I felt that love coming like through me
58:09as a part of me.
58:11And just being welcomed.
58:13>> For people who have had
58:15transcendental experiences, for people
58:17who have had psychedelic journeys, for
58:20people who have done healing journeys
58:22with plant medicine,
58:24you know, this is not an uncommon thing.
58:27And the reason I'm bringing that up is
58:28not to say that like it's all made up
58:30and it's just like you were on drugs and
58:32it was just the medication. Actually,
58:34what if you flip that and say maybe what
58:38drugs and transcendental experiences are
58:40getting us in touch with is an actual
58:43truth that we are a soul that exists
58:48beyond, right, this corporal being. We
58:51are a soul that gets to put on the meat
58:53suit that we are now conscious of, but
58:56there are opportunities we have to break
58:59through that consciousness to glimpse
59:02the actual truth with a capital T of the
59:05sort of consciousness and the larger
59:07consciousness system, which is that
59:10this is one iteration of our soul's
59:13visit, and what you experienced, I've
59:15actually never heard someone who had an
59:18NDE describe this this way.
59:22People have touched around it, but I
59:23think this is the clearest articulation.
59:26It's like, oh my gosh, this is kind of
59:30the dream. This is the sort of illusion,
59:33and we're all wearing these meat suits
59:35here, and we're talking through also
59:36like a satellite that's projecting,
59:38right, your image on the screen that I'm
59:39looking at,
59:41but that there's a entirely separate
59:43reality that exists that most of us
59:46don't get to touch, and you got to
59:48experience after you almost died twice.
59:53>> Yeah, it was very in like you said at
59:55that moment when when all that memory
59:58came back to me,
1:00:01basically the filters came off. So when
1:00:03we come into this life,
1:00:05we have to come in with with a set of
1:00:07filters on our awareness, on our memory
1:00:10in order to be able to focus in on what
1:00:12we're supposed to do here or experience
1:00:14or learn. If we didn't have those
1:00:16filters, it would be pretty tough,
1:00:19you know, to to exist from day to day.
1:00:21>> You're also describing, you know, for
1:00:23thousands of years, almost every single
1:00:26tradition that we have had people speak
1:00:27to us about have said there's a
1:00:30forgetting that happens when you are
1:00:32dropped into your current meat suit, and
1:00:34you know, we've talked about
1:00:36the angel Lyla, um you know, placing her
1:00:39finger here so that Rizwan Virk talked
1:00:41about this with us, um that every
1:00:43tradition has a notion of I'm going to
1:00:46make you forget that you're actually
1:00:48this, you know, however you want to
1:00:50describe it, astral, incredible, out of
1:00:52your body soul experiencer, right? You
1:00:55have to forget in the same way that as I
1:00:58describe it for the brain, right? Your
1:01:00brain has to filter out the fact that
1:01:02you're sitting on this chair and wearing
1:01:04clothing because otherwise you'd be like
1:01:06what the all the time you'd be like what
1:01:08get it off me, right? So like the
1:01:10thalamus is like no no no, you're good,
1:01:12just like think about the conversation.
1:01:14So in the same way that the brain does
1:01:16that, right? So like this is like a
1:01:18fractal, right? Just the way that that
1:01:20our nervous system says, I'm going to
1:01:22let you function here, but you're going
1:01:23to forget all of the craziness that's
1:01:26going on in your sensory systems so that
1:01:28you can just have a conversation and go
1:01:30to work and like make your breakfast.
1:01:32You had that experience on the most
1:01:35infinite fractal level of like what does
1:01:37it look like to remove that forgetting?
1:01:40>> Yeah, that was that was a like the first
1:01:43as we go along, that was like another
1:01:45thing that really was kind of that aha
1:01:48moment for me that changed my life here.
1:01:51But in in it just gets, you know,
1:01:54more incredible after that. But that
1:01:56knowing being able to realize, oh,
1:01:59that's right
1:02:01that earth thing is important. Don't get
1:02:04me wrong. It's not that it's
1:02:08an unimportant dream. It's actually very
1:02:10important, but ultimately it's just one
1:02:13little bit of who we really are.
1:02:17So that helped kind of put some of this
1:02:18stuff into perspective.
1:02:20>> You're sort of hovering in
1:02:23a sort of liminal space. You're feeling
1:02:27this enormous love and safety. You're
1:02:30seeing what you're describing as sort of
1:02:32like
1:02:33tendrils of the energy, which reminds me
1:02:35of Thomas Campbell seeing strings
1:02:38between trees after he, you know, had
1:02:40his sort of enlightenment experience.
1:02:42And there's no sun in the sky, which I
1:02:45love this as a visual moment, right?
1:02:47There's no sun in the sky, but there's
1:02:48some sort of light.
1:02:50You are to to our knowing, you are in
1:02:53the middle of a near death experience.
1:02:56What happens next?
1:02:58>> So I'm kind of like in my awareness, I'm
1:03:00standing around wondering, okay, now
1:03:02what comes next? Now that I realize
1:03:05you know, that that earth thing is is a
1:03:08it's an illusion state or a dream state.
1:03:11Now what do I do? And I thought, well,
1:03:13this is kind of an okay place to hang
1:03:15out until, you know, [laughter]
1:03:16surgery's done. Not bad. I'm okay with
1:03:19this.
1:03:21And then I kind of noticed that off kind
1:03:24of behind from behind me sort of a not
1:03:26really fully behind me, but from the
1:03:28side, like from the right side and
1:03:29behind
1:03:30I got kind of caught a glimpse of a
1:03:32figure, a person
1:03:35what appeared to be a person approaching
1:03:36me.
1:03:37And it looked like when she came up I
1:03:40call her a she, but that's just
1:03:42>> If it was the lady from your accident,
1:03:44if it was Anne, I give up and this is
1:03:46the last episode of this podcast.
1:03:49>> No, no. I mean it didn't look like her.
1:03:51Maybe it was her consciousness. I don't
1:03:53know.
1:03:54Um but this person who walked up
1:03:57didn't she never actually gave me her
1:03:59name
1:04:00during the so I had no idea who she was.
1:04:02I kept asking her name, but she wouldn't
1:04:05tell me.
1:04:06Basically she said it isn't important
1:04:08because, you know, human names don't
1:04:10really have any meaning
1:04:12you know, in that state. So it doesn't
1:04:14really matter. She said, well at at some
1:04:16point she said, well you can just call
1:04:18me whatever you want.
1:04:19And um but I I didn't. I actually
1:04:22started just calling her my guide or my
1:04:24teacher. But she came up and
1:04:28and I looked at her. She she appeared to
1:04:30be
1:04:31vaguely human. And I say vaguely because
1:04:35it didn't look, you know, like a
1:04:37concrete person. She was a little bit
1:04:40taller than me, so she looked to be
1:04:42about
1:04:435'6 5'7 so so I had to look up a little
1:04:46bit to her.
1:04:47She had long um long brown hair, kind of
1:04:51curly
1:04:52but it was very very long. In my in my
1:04:54viewpoint it looked very long down to
1:04:57like the middle of her back.
1:04:59But the funky thing and it still bothers
1:05:01me because, you know, I'm I'm also an
1:05:04artist, so I like to paint people.
1:05:06And I never was able to get a good look
1:05:08at her face. The whole time all this is
1:05:10going to happen with her I never got to
1:05:13see her actual face. It was like it was
1:05:14blurry all the time.
1:05:16And I could never get a good look at it.
1:05:18Really bothered me that I couldn't I
1:05:20kept trying find her face and I never
1:05:22was able to see it, but she introduced
1:05:25herself as my guide,
1:05:27you know, I'm I'm your guide to this
1:05:29place. I'm going to help you learn what
1:05:32you need to learn in order to go back to
1:05:34your life on Earth.
1:05:37And when I heard go back to your life on
1:05:40Earth, I actually threw a knock down
1:05:42drag out temper tantrum. There was no
1:05:44way I [laughter] was going back
1:05:47to that Earth that Earth school because
1:05:50that place in my mind at that point was
1:05:52pretty messed up. You know, this is
1:05:54pretty cool over here. I don't want to
1:05:56go back and experience
1:05:58that Earth reality.
1:06:00And then she said, well, you've already
1:06:02agreed to go back.
1:06:05And I what?
1:06:07>> I can't see your face, but you can tell
1:06:08me I already agreed to go back?
1:06:10>> Yeah, exactly. I couldn't see her face,
1:06:12but she reminded me that I already made
1:06:14an agreement before I was born
1:06:17to go back and I I was getting kind of
1:06:19snarky at this point. [laughter]
1:06:22And I and and that's just my
1:06:24personality, you know.
1:06:25>> I like that you're the nastiest,
1:06:27snarkiest NDE survivor we've ever spoken
1:06:30to. You're like, I want to punch someone
1:06:32in the face while I'm dying. [laughter]
1:06:35>> So I got a little snarky with it. It
1:06:36wasn't like nasty disrespectful. It was
1:06:38more like
1:06:39I just don't remember doing that.
1:06:41>> Yeah, show me the proof. You say I've
1:06:43signed a contract. Where's the
1:06:45paperwork?
1:06:46>> [laughter]
1:06:46>> Yeah.
1:06:47>> I'll have my lawyer get on this.
1:06:49>> She did actually. She showed me
1:06:52kind of in the air in front of me sort
1:06:54of a video
1:06:56a recording of me
1:06:59in front of
1:07:00it's again very misty looking. It it
1:07:03wasn't like concrete, but there was a
1:07:05very misty looking room I was in. It was
1:07:07all white, kind of a gray white.
1:07:10And there I was aware that there were
1:07:12other beings like me around me who I I
1:07:15assume were
1:07:17soul friends or my teachers. I don't
1:07:19know who they were, but there were other
1:07:21beings around me.
1:07:24And I was standing looking at and again,
1:07:26this is a construct, so don't take this
1:07:28literally, but in in this view that I
1:07:31had, I was looking at a book.
1:07:34And I was agreeing to go into this
1:07:37particular family, do specific things,
1:07:41but part of the path that I was agreeing
1:07:43to coming into this life that I'm in now
1:07:46was
1:07:48I I was going to be have several
1:07:51opportunities
1:07:53to transition from being an atheist. So
1:07:55being an atheist was an agreement that I
1:07:57had. I wanted to experience
1:08:00being an atheist.
1:08:02But I was given
1:08:04I think it was three different
1:08:06opportunities
1:08:07to switch back
1:08:09to a more spiritual viewpoint on my own.
1:08:13And I blew through all three of those
1:08:17and completely ignored them.
1:08:19And if I and my agreement was that if I
1:08:22blew through all those and ignored them,
1:08:24then I would have
1:08:26some kind of a transcendental type of
1:08:28experience, a a spiritually
1:08:30transformative experience
1:08:33to get me back
1:08:35into a spiritual mindset for the rest of
1:08:38my life.
1:08:39>> Yeah, this is the story that I tell. The
1:08:41man who though there's a flood in his
1:08:43town and everybody says let's get out
1:08:45and he says I'm waiting for God and the
1:08:47waters are rising and a boat comes by
1:08:49and he's like I'm good waiting for God
1:08:51and then the water's up and he's up on
1:08:53the roof and a helicopter's like how
1:08:54about now and he's like I 'm waiting for
1:08:56God and he gets to heaven or wherever
1:08:59and God, you know, says to him what are
1:09:01you doing here and he's like what are
1:09:02you how did you not save me? And God
1:09:05said I sent you a neighbor, I sent you a
1:09:07boat and I sent you a helicopter, right?
1:09:09But in my story he doesn't get to go
1:09:11back and try again.
1:09:13>> Well, I got to go back
1:09:15uh against my will.
1:09:16But but that's but it was absolutely
1:09:19positively laid out and I couldn't
1:09:21refute it because then I remembered it
1:09:23when I saw it. It was like oh yeah.
1:09:26I kind of remember doing that. You know,
1:09:27now that now that I'm out of all of
1:09:29this, I remember having made that
1:09:31agreement.
1:09:33So I guess I'm going to have to go along
1:09:34with this for now.
1:09:36>> What did any of us agree to that we
1:09:38don't get to know unless we almost die?
1:09:42>> It's fascinating that she remembers
1:09:45this agreement in some other form of
1:09:49reality. And this is before AI is there.
1:09:52You can't even say that's an AI video of
1:09:54me.
1:09:54>> I know what you're describing because
1:09:56what she's describing is this there's a
1:09:59different kind of knowing that Nancy got
1:10:02to have and I've heard this from every
1:10:05NDE person we've spoken to. There's a
1:10:08different kind of emotional and
1:10:10cognitive communication that we don't
1:10:14understand unless we are in that state.
1:10:17And so when she saw it and I saw it in
1:10:19your eye, you were like, oh, yeah,
1:10:21because this knowing came over her. And
1:10:23look, in the in the analysis of what
1:10:26happened, that could have also been a
1:10:28construct that you were told to feel
1:10:31like you remembered that you signed it.
1:10:34We don't have to ever know. But this
1:10:37lady came back from the dead to tell us
1:10:39about it. So I'm going to go with your
1:10:41accounting.
1:10:42>> [laughter]
1:10:43>> Yeah, I mean, as far as I know, that's
1:10:45but the the you can't you you you
1:10:47actually can access some of that
1:10:50those knowings if you know, that those
1:10:52agreements that you came into this life
1:10:54with, but that's a different that's kind
1:10:56of a different story.
1:10:58But in that moment, I remembered,
1:11:00oh, I guess I did. And there were other
1:11:02things that I had wanted. So it isn't
1:11:04just like you sign a contract and this
1:11:07is uh
1:11:08like a Shakespearean play where you have
1:11:10to follow along with the lines that are
1:11:12given to you. That's not the whole point
1:11:13here.
1:11:14The the point is I realized in that
1:11:17moment was
1:11:19these are kind of some of the highlights
1:11:20that I my highlight reel. These are some
1:11:22of the things I want to experience. This
1:11:24these are some of the things that I want
1:11:26to do.
1:11:27Um some of them weren't about me. It was
1:11:29helping other people through through
1:11:31different things. One of them was I was
1:11:33being born into this particular life
1:11:37for a one specific reason is to help my
1:11:39father.
1:11:40That was one of the reasons that I
1:11:41wanted I chose that particular family
1:11:45is is I wanted to help him
1:11:48transition out of the kind of person he
1:11:50was and into something more loving. And
1:11:53that was
1:11:54one of the reasons I chose that family.
1:11:57And
1:11:58so I remembered all of this stuff,
1:12:02but in my the back of my mind I still
1:12:05didn't want to go back.
1:12:07I I I was kind of weighing like
1:12:10okay, this is pretty cool. I know it's
1:12:12not the full on
1:12:15quote afterlife,
1:12:18but it's also not Earth school. It's not
1:12:20the Earth realm at this point, but it's
1:12:22in some in between state. But I'm trying
1:12:24to figure out well, okay, so I made this
1:12:26agreement to go back. How can I break
1:12:28this agreement? I really wanted to break
1:12:29the agreement and just stay.
1:12:32So I went along with her and
1:12:35allowed her to quote teach me what I
1:12:37needed to know
1:12:39for coming back cuz there were specific
1:12:41things that I was supposed to learn
1:12:43in order to come back
1:12:45into this life.
1:12:47And and I think also in hindsight
1:12:51certain transformations that I would
1:12:53need to make
1:12:54in order for all of this to make sense.
1:12:57>> I'd like everyone to take a moment and
1:12:59realize that all of this happened while
1:13:02you were under anesthesia being operated
1:13:05on by a team of nurses and surgeons.
1:13:08Meaning
1:13:10whatever happened and however skeptical
1:13:13people want to be about what Nancy
1:13:16experienced and we talked with Vinnie
1:13:19Todd Tolman about this as well
1:13:21you came back from that experience with
1:13:25a small cannon of information. You came
1:13:27back with 12 specific messages each of
1:13:31which is, you know, beautiful,
1:13:33philosophically sound, you know. It's
1:13:35not like you came back with like an
1:13:36equation, you know, to a math problem
1:13:39that no one's ever solved. That's not
1:13:40what we're talking about, but you came
1:13:42back with a very specific formula for a
1:13:46life that is your new identity.
1:13:51>> Those 12 principles that are in the book
1:13:53were just the highlight reel. You know,
1:13:55there's more, but but those were the 12
1:13:57most important things that I was
1:13:59supposed to bring back, and it wasn't
1:14:00about doing any of this.
1:14:03It was about making my life better
1:14:05and helping my family members and
1:14:07friends with their lives as well, as
1:14:09much as I could. Like I It's not It's
1:14:11not within Thomas Campbell
1:14:14talked about this a lot. It's not within
1:14:16my purview to control someone else. I
1:14:19can just assist. But that was one of the
1:14:21reasons that I took on a lot of this was
1:14:24to help myself
1:14:26make a transition, a transformation, but
1:14:29also just be there
1:14:31and help anybody else
1:14:33who
1:14:34wanted to make their own transitions and
1:14:36within my circle of friends and family.
1:14:39>> The rest of your time
1:14:41in this space with your guide,
1:14:45was it like I mean, I don't mean to ask
1:14:47a dumb question. Was it like she was
1:14:49making a speech? Was it more of an
1:14:52emotional download? Because like at some
1:14:56point you do have to return to your
1:14:58body, at which point
1:15:01you know, does this all come to you?
1:15:03Does it just become like part of your
1:15:05consciousness? Like what are we
1:15:07practically talking about when we talk
1:15:10about this information you're getting
1:15:12from your guide?
1:15:14>> It's very weird how this all happened
1:15:17because it's it's difficult
1:15:19for humans in the in this suit to to
1:15:22understand what I'm going to say. So it
1:15:24wasn't just her. So she was like the
1:15:26funnel,
1:15:28the point person for information coming
1:15:30from not just her, but from my
1:15:34let's just say they're my I call them my
1:15:36spiritual team. They're probably
1:15:38friends. I don't know what you want to
1:15:40call them, but there are many other
1:15:42spiritual beings passing information
1:15:44along to me via her.
1:15:47And I And at one point I asked, well,
1:15:49why aren't you all just there?
1:15:51And she said, well, it's just easier
1:15:53this way
1:15:54for you to take in information if it's
1:15:56just coming from like
1:15:58what looks like one person.
1:16:00Because it was coming in
1:16:03it wasn't that she was speaking. In
1:16:04fact, it was funny because
1:16:07if she had to resort to English
1:16:10she felt like she was
1:16:12failing me.
1:16:13It was all it was was information that
1:16:16was both telepathic and it was like this
1:16:20telepathic emotional
1:16:23knowledge download. I don't even know
1:16:25how to describe it. It was It was like
1:16:27on continual download of stuff, but it
1:16:30was experiential. And that was what was
1:16:33really important for me as I needed to
1:16:35experience
1:16:37different lessons on my own, in my own
1:16:40way, as well as getting
1:16:44some
1:16:45quote words. So the words came in
1:16:50uh
1:16:51visuals, mostly like
1:16:53almost like a pictoral movie. There was
1:16:55like this movie in my head of the
1:16:56concept that I was supposed to get.
1:16:59And if I didn't understand it
1:17:02then
1:17:03it would come to me like in what I would
1:17:05perceive as English, in words.
1:17:08But I tried really hard to get the
1:17:10content
1:17:12via these pictoral representations.
1:17:14>> I mean, look, I hear the words you're
1:17:16saying,
1:17:17but I'm also thinking that like
1:17:20you have been to a place that is beyond
1:17:25like our understanding.
1:17:26>> Yeah.
1:17:27>> You know, you got to touch it, but also
1:17:30you then had to take that knowing and
1:17:32have it squeezed back into this meat
1:17:34suit, right? So like I hear the words
1:17:37you're saying and also I'm like, what
1:17:39the actual is she talking about?
1:17:42Because I can only think in this kind of
1:17:45like binary world, right? Like a word, a
1:17:48meaning, okay, I can think about
1:17:49thoughts. I oh, I have feelings, but
1:17:51like you're talking about something like
1:17:53I believe you and I hear you, but also
1:17:56it's like how do we, you know, how can
1:18:00we take in this information? It's very
1:18:02overwhelming, you know, this notion and
1:18:04also even the notion that you talked
1:18:06about and I really really love this and
1:18:08it was one of the, you know, kind of
1:18:10like
1:18:10final points that you want to make. The
1:18:13notion that there is kind of like one
1:18:15guide for us or, you know, even sort of
1:18:17one notion of like a god, there's an
1:18:20entire kind of chorus, right, that is
1:18:25supportive and
1:18:27you know, I don't know how many
1:18:29Old Testament fans we have out there,
1:18:31but one of the most confounding and
1:18:33beautiful
1:18:35confusing elements of literally the
1:18:38first chapters,
1:18:41God says, let us make man in our image,
1:18:45in our likeness and this is like a thing
1:18:48that scholars for thousands of years
1:18:50have talked about. Who's the we, right?
1:18:53And in the very next chapter, it says
1:18:55God created them in his image, right? So
1:18:57then it like goes back. What is this
1:19:00plural? And when I read that in your
1:19:02book, I was like, oh, it's God and the
1:19:03angels, right? That's kind of how the
1:19:05classical interpretation goes, but this
1:19:07notion that your guide communicated to
1:19:10you in the way that you could sort of
1:19:12comprehend, but that there's an entire
1:19:15larger entity of support which, you
1:19:18know, many traditions call on, many
1:19:20people believe in. I think Betty talks
1:19:23about this kind of like spirit team,
1:19:25right? So I love these sort of
1:19:26similarities not just between NDE
1:19:28experiences, but for thousands of years
1:19:31of the way people have understood
1:19:34what it means, right, to have
1:19:37you you sort of like deity. It's not
1:19:39just a singular entity. It is an entire
1:19:42community, essentially.
1:19:44>> It's a plural, yeah, definitely. And and
1:19:47that's how it felt to me too is
1:19:50it wasn't just, you know, the
1:19:52what I was raised, you know, in the
1:19:53Catholic Church, I was raised with that,
1:19:56you know, view of the Sistine Chapel
1:19:58with, you know, big a big Caucasian guy
1:20:00with a white beard and, you know, the
1:20:02white flung hair and the robes as God.
1:20:04And that's not
1:20:06what I experienced.
1:20:08You know, God is everywhere. God is
1:20:10love, all encompassing and all
1:20:11inclusive. And that's what kept coming
1:20:13to me
1:20:14that I keep saying that because that's
1:20:16that was the one of the early lessons I
1:20:19had was
1:20:20God is love,
1:20:23all encompassing and all inclusive,
1:20:26not just for some people, but for
1:20:28everybody.
1:20:30And so that was like the first lesson I
1:20:32had to learn was the concept of love.
1:20:35That's why it's that first message that
1:20:37I talk about is it's kind of the nature
1:20:39of love. It's it's kind of that energy.
1:20:42I call it the energy of of the divine
1:20:45universe, really.
1:20:46>> I'm allowed to have my favorite messages
1:20:48that you received, so I'm going to tell
1:20:50you what they are. I wonder if you can
1:20:52touch on we're never alone. I think a
1:20:54lot of people experience, you know, in
1:20:56this physical existence, a lot of
1:20:59people, you know, even when they're with
1:21:02other people, experience a sense of
1:21:05loneliness or loneliness. Um we've kind
1:21:08of talked about, you know,
1:21:10this languishing. We we've talked about,
1:21:12you know, some of the despairs of
1:21:14disconnectedness.
1:21:15What was this specific message about
1:21:19us not being alone? What are we supposed
1:21:20to do with that?
1:21:21>> Yeah, so it's like a lot of these
1:21:24messages, in hindsight, they're very
1:21:26multi-dimensional.
1:21:28So on the surface,
1:21:30it's
1:21:32you know, you you're here on this
1:21:33planet, you know, as your material human
1:21:36self.
1:21:37And one of the encouraging messages that
1:21:40I had via that we're not alone thing is
1:21:44it may be up to you to reach out and
1:21:47create your own community around you.
1:21:49So
1:21:51a lot of us and I was I was absolutely
1:21:54guilty of this before my NDE. I waited
1:21:57for the community to come to me. I
1:21:59waited for friendship or companionship
1:22:03or whatever to come to me. But but
1:22:06basically it was let's flip that on its
1:22:09on its head. Now it's up to you to seek
1:22:12that community out and keep seeking it
1:22:16or creating it until you get what you
1:22:19want. And it it can be hard. It can be
1:22:22really hard. But
1:22:24it's very important not just on the
1:22:27earth reality
1:22:28but also at the at the the reality of
1:22:32we'll just call it the spirit dimension
1:22:34which I'll talk about in just a second.
1:22:36But on in in this reality we can't just
1:22:39necessarily sit around and wait for
1:22:41those other people to come into our
1:22:43lives. It is up to each one of us to
1:22:46look for that community because that
1:22:47community of people around us is
1:22:50exceedingly important
1:22:53just in this lifetime. Just at a very
1:22:54practical level we know about all this
1:22:56how important friendships are, whatever.
1:23:00So that was the first the first thing
1:23:02that kind of came to me in that in that
1:23:05learning.
1:23:06The second which took me a while after I
1:23:08got back to really understand
1:23:10is that when you come into this life
1:23:15you're you have a at least a couple of
1:23:18I'll call them teachers, spirit teachers
1:23:21who are hanging out with you all the
1:23:22time.
1:23:24And they're always around and and when I
1:23:27look back into my life
1:23:29after you know after this
1:23:31I realized how true that was. I just
1:23:34didn't see it at the at the time. There
1:23:36here's another learning that goes along
1:23:38with this and all all of these teachings
1:23:40are really interconnected like this.
1:23:42It's hard to talk about one without
1:23:44talking about others.
1:23:47Part of it is
1:23:49that everyone and everything is very
1:23:51interconnected, not just
1:23:54on the Earth realm, but
1:23:56between us and the spirit realm. We We
1:23:58perceive those as separate.
1:24:01They're actually not. They're just
1:24:03different Think about it as different
1:24:05energy levels within the same system.
1:24:09It's part of the same system.
1:24:11And so for those people who have had
1:24:15loved ones that have passed on I know I
1:24:17know I actually know Suzanne Giesemann,
1:24:19and we've talked about this several
1:24:20times. Those loved ones may Some of them
1:24:24may actually be like spirit friends or
1:24:27I wouldn't call them guardian angels cuz
1:24:29the term angel isn't correct in my in my
1:24:32own perspective, but
1:24:34but we have those spirit friends, those
1:24:37guides, those teachers
1:24:39that are here with us all the time
1:24:40because there is really no true
1:24:42separation between
1:24:45here and there except like an energy
1:24:47level.
1:24:49That's it. And they can Some of them are
1:24:51are with us here all the time, and we
1:24:54can learn to communicate.
1:24:56>> I think most people, me being included,
1:24:58is like, I don't feel anything. I don't
1:25:00see anything. Like, thanks a lot. Like,
1:25:02I'm late for dinner. You know? Um but I
1:25:05think the the tools that Suzanne
1:25:07teaches, and you actually have some
1:25:09really really great practical tools as
1:25:11well,
1:25:12the idea is, you know,
1:25:14if there's a frequency knob that some
1:25:16people can just tune You know, my dog
1:25:19whistle example,
1:25:21you know, dogs can hear things that we
1:25:23cannot. It's outside of the frequency
1:25:26that we can, you know, pick up. And in
1:25:28the same way And And like to me, this
1:25:30is, you know, as a scientist, as someone
1:25:33who's trained, as someone who holds a
1:25:35doctorate, right? Like, even, you know,
1:25:37something I have to explain like even to
1:25:39people close to me, like my kids who are
1:25:41like, but are you really doing science
1:25:43with this podcast? This is one of I
1:25:45think the the easiest and most practical
1:25:48ways to understand this from a
1:25:50scientific perspective. If we think of
1:25:53the ability to perceive and experience
1:25:57as a frequency tuner,
1:25:59some people have the capability to tune
1:26:02into frequencies that other people do
1:26:05not. And it doesn't mean that the people
1:26:07who do not tune into those frequencies
1:26:09get to tell those people that they're
1:26:10not tuning into that frequency. That's
1:26:13just not how it works. And you know, as
1:26:15I say, I wish upon all those
1:26:17materialists and alien at the foot of
1:26:19their bed, you know, because like I
1:26:21think for a lot of people, like until
1:26:23it's an alien at the foot of their bed,
1:26:25they're not going to get it. But there's
1:26:27all these other realms which many people
1:26:30do get into with meditation, with the
1:26:32kind of tools that we've talked about
1:26:33with Suzanne. And yes, with plant
1:26:36medicine, with psychedelics, with
1:26:37transcendental meditation, with deep
1:26:40deep focus, you can evolve your tuner.
1:26:44You may not get it to the same places as
1:26:47other people. I will never be a concert
1:26:48pianist. I'm just like pretty much a
1:26:50mediocre, you know, sight reader. Um but
1:26:53there is an ability to tune to that
1:26:55frequency and that's what you got to
1:26:58experience. And I don't know if that's
1:27:00everybody's destiny, but for you, this
1:27:03is now I mean, you describe it as your
1:27:05new job, you know, when you got back
1:27:07into your body, right? You had a new
1:27:09kind of life to live.
1:27:11>> It was a new job.
1:27:12>> Before we get back into your body, um
1:27:15one of the things
1:27:17you don't describe a life review in the
1:27:19way that a lot of NDE experiencers do.
1:27:22You know, many people describe this sort
1:27:24of like video and it's like a Rolodex
1:27:26and it's flipping and you're feeling all
1:27:28the emotions and in particular, um
1:27:30Buddha Betty, you know, uh talks about
1:27:33that she felt the collective emotional
1:27:35experience, not only of her, but of all
1:27:39the people that she affected in sort of
1:27:41this, you know,
1:27:42quantum field, right? Of energetic
1:27:45experience. Can you talk to us a little
1:27:47bit about what your understanding of
1:27:50your life review was.
1:27:52>> Right. I didn't even know that's what it
1:27:54was at the time. And for probably
1:28:06review in my head when I experienced it.
1:28:10So in and it was only much later as I
1:28:13was finishing up the book actually
1:28:17that I learned that terminology.
1:28:19So what I what to me again, you know,
1:28:23the visuals that you'll you'll you'll
1:28:26hear me talk about, it's a construct. I
1:28:27knew that at the time that it was
1:28:30something that was being constructed for
1:28:32me to make me feel comfortable
1:28:35which [clears throat] I'm sure some of
1:28:36your other, you know,
1:28:38guests have talked about too. But
1:28:41I was brought to what looked like a
1:28:43beautiful little lake or big pond up in
1:28:46the mountains.
1:28:48And and I'm an outdoors girl, so
1:28:50outdoors locations always make me feel
1:28:52good. So that's I was brought to this
1:28:54pond. It was very black water, very dark
1:28:58like the southeast where you have the
1:29:01the tannins in the water. It's very dark
1:29:02water.
1:29:04And my teacher said, you know, I want
1:29:06you to kneel down and touch the surface
1:29:09of the pond with your hand and watch
1:29:11what happens. And I I looked at her and
1:29:13I said,
1:29:14I know what's going to happen. There's
1:29:16going to be ripples that go off, you
1:29:17know, from the from where I touched the
1:29:19pond. And she said, just do it anyway.
1:29:21So she
1:29:22[laughter] so she kind of got, you know,
1:29:24she got snarky back to me
1:29:26which is really what I needed. So I
1:29:27knelt down and I touched the surface of
1:29:29the pond and I kind of sat back and just
1:29:32watched. So obviously, yes, ripples
1:29:35went out from where my hand touched. So
1:29:37this is another one of those instances
1:29:39where there were like
1:29:41five different things I was learning all
1:29:43at the same time with one
1:29:45with one event. But we'll talk about the
1:29:48life review portion. So I I touched the
1:29:50surface of the pond. There's ripples
1:29:51that goes out.
1:29:53And I sat back and I noticed that there
1:29:54are these little what look like
1:29:57little
1:29:59I'll just call them YouTube screens.
1:30:01They just like little individual
1:30:03hundreds of these little screens
1:30:05on top of the surface of the pond.
1:30:08And when I would focus on one of them,
1:30:11I would be pulled back into an event
1:30:14in my life.
1:30:15And it was a review of that event.
1:30:18But it was a review it was a a true true
1:30:21360.
1:30:23So I experienced that event from my
1:30:25viewpoint.
1:30:26And I experienced it from the viewpoint
1:30:28of everybody else who was involved.
1:30:32Not just, you know, the one not one like
1:30:34everybody who was involved. And I felt
1:30:37their I got to feel their feelings. I
1:30:39heard their thoughts, everything, how I
1:30:41impacted them and not just in that
1:30:43moment, but going forward. So an example
1:30:47was
1:30:48I saw a
1:30:50an incident where I did something that
1:30:52really helped somebody. And it and it
1:30:54was for me a throwaway incident. I
1:30:56didn't think it was that big of a deal.
1:30:58It was at a grocery store
1:31:01at Christmas time.
1:31:03And I was standing in a line and and I
1:31:05was standing behind a family.
1:31:08Honest they had just it was a, you know,
1:31:10Christmas time, cranky kids, kids
1:31:13screaming, parents not in a good state,
1:31:16and they were taking it out on the on
1:31:18the checkout clerk.
1:31:20So when I got up I only had a few
1:31:22things.
1:31:24And I was checking out and I just told
1:31:26this woman, I said, you know what, thank
1:31:28you so much for being here. You doing an
1:31:29incredible job. I really appreciate you
1:31:32just,
1:31:34you know, being here, doing this at this
1:31:36crazy time. Thank you. And that's all it
1:31:39was.
1:31:41But what I had I didn't realize
1:31:44is how that affected her. She felt so
1:31:47good from that
1:31:49that it positively impacted the rest of
1:31:51her day. So I got to see
1:31:54the downstream effects of of that in her
1:31:58life.
1:31:59And how she
1:32:00treated her kids better that night.
1:32:03Instead of snapping at them or whatever,
1:32:06she was gracious and and patient with
1:32:09her kids because one person in a
1:32:11checkout line said thank you.
1:32:15And that's where
1:32:17So the life my life review is where
1:32:21a lot of this stuff really came into
1:32:23focus that were that I learned.
1:32:26I got to see it in real time
1:32:29in my own life and I saw how it affected
1:32:33how my how my thoughts, feelings, words,
1:32:35and actions affected everybody else
1:32:37around me.
1:32:37>> Ripples become waves. Like that's the
1:32:40which also is a song that I really like
1:32:42by Matisyahu. Um ripples become waves.
1:32:45>> Yeah,
1:32:46huge.
1:32:46>> You never know the way you touch someone
1:32:50or impact someone
1:32:52can can ripple out. And in the same way
1:32:55and you know, maybe you can can fill in
1:32:57the blanks for us here,
1:32:59negative things as well have that kind
1:33:01of impact and this is something that
1:33:03obviously Betty talked about that she
1:33:05experienced, you know, the the pain that
1:33:09she had caused and you know, it kind of
1:33:12I mean, it sort of you know, it brings
1:33:14you to your knees conceptually, right?
1:33:16Um like everything kind of matters,
1:33:19right? And it's funny because you know,
1:33:20I'm that lady who like picks up trash
1:33:23off the street like even when nobody's
1:33:25around, right? And like the bathroom at
1:33:27the movie theater, I'm like, why would
1:33:28people leave paper towels on the floor,
1:33:30right? Like we all have our own way that
1:33:33we want to kind of navigate, but like
1:33:35that matters. And in particular, you
1:33:38know, I was thinking about this, I was
1:33:40taught as a child that when you are
1:33:42anywhere, when there are people being of
1:33:44service, look them in the eye, thank
1:33:47them, tell them they matter, you know?
1:33:50And I've carried that through. It's
1:33:52something I teach my children that like,
1:33:54you know, people in our culture, in our
1:33:56society, in this world are often ignored
1:34:00when they're the person cleaning up or
1:34:02they're the person sweeping up or like
1:34:03you know, many people are not used to
1:34:05even being like interacted with because
1:34:09so many people don't, but like
1:34:11I'd like this makes I'm going to tell my
1:34:13children, this makes me feel like it
1:34:15maybe it does matter. You know, maybe it
1:34:18matters when you pick up trash, when you
1:34:21possibly avoid an animal, right? Eating
1:34:23a piece of plastic that you find on the
1:34:24beach. Like maybe it actually matters.
1:34:27>> It does. And it does and it does it it
1:34:29does from
1:34:31many
1:34:32again, many different layers, but it a
1:34:34very so this this world that we're in,
1:34:36this what we perceive of as a material
1:34:39world, I consider it a world of energy.
1:34:40That's all it is.
1:34:42And when you
1:34:44do something kind or positive like that,
1:34:47you're effectively this is the way I
1:34:48teach, you know, those students that
1:34:50I've had,
1:34:51you're strengthening that energy, that
1:34:53energy around you of love, of
1:34:55compassion, of kindness. You're you're
1:34:58adding to that field, that energy field
1:35:00of love every time you do something
1:35:03positive, good.
1:35:05Um and and then when you so like yeah,
1:35:08when you when I was in that life review,
1:35:11I had of course, I I've never done
1:35:14anything really horrible, but they even
1:35:16you know, I was even shown those times
1:35:18when I was not very kind to people
1:35:22because maybe I was dealing with my own
1:35:24stuff or pain or whatever. There was one
1:35:27instance when I was a teenager and I
1:35:29talk about this a lot because this
1:35:30happens a lot
1:35:32um with within families. You might say
1:35:35something particularly hurtful to a
1:35:37sibling
1:35:38just because whatever, whatever reason
1:35:40you've had a terrible day,
1:35:43your sibling is pushing all your buttons
1:35:45and it's hard for you to kind of get out
1:35:47of that
1:35:48angry mindset. Well, I did this one day
1:35:50with my younger sister.
1:35:52And I didn't again, I didn't think much
1:35:53of it. This is when I was probably in my
1:35:55late teens, I think.
1:35:58Uh uh probably 17 or 18, I believe.
1:36:01And it was again what I thought was a
1:36:03throwaway line.
1:36:05And it was a nasty little comment
1:36:07and I thought that was it. It really
1:36:10hurt her.
1:36:11And I got to feel her feelings of
1:36:13betrayal of hurt. That really affected
1:36:15her for a long time afterward that her
1:36:18older sister
1:36:20said that thing to her.
1:36:22>> Oh.
1:36:23I mean that's
1:36:24the reason that sort of like drawing
1:36:26such a an emotional reaction like and I
1:36:28feel like tears coming is like
1:36:31think of the abuse that we inflict on
1:36:34each other as humans, right?
1:36:36Think of people who do not have tools,
1:36:38capability, people who are mentally ill,
1:36:41right? Like just the complexity and the
1:36:44possibility, right? Of of pain and sort
1:36:47of
1:36:48you know tragedy that occurs like
1:36:51it creates a tremendous amount of
1:36:53suffering.
1:36:54>> It does. Yeah.
1:36:55And honestly I'll tell you the one of
1:36:57the very first things I did
1:37:00when I got my senses back after the
1:37:01surgery is I called her up and I
1:37:03apologized. It was she she had totally
1:37:05forgotten about it.
1:37:07But I could not
1:37:09let that go another minute. I had to
1:37:11express my sorrow and
1:37:14you know in love for her.
1:37:16>> That's sort of like also the the amends
1:37:17process in 12 step programs. It's you
1:37:20know confession I I'm not Catholic so I
1:37:23don't know but you know the notion at
1:37:25least in my tradition is you know you
1:37:27can clean the slate. You have these sort
1:37:29of 10 days of repentance that occur, you
1:37:32know. Anyway
1:37:34you know there are many religious
1:37:35traditions and the reason I'm bringing
1:37:37this up is you know we've kind of been
1:37:39on this you know sort of like this kick
1:37:42of finding these places where not to
1:37:44prove that religion is right or that
1:37:46someone has you know the authority on
1:37:48how to worship God but guess what?
1:37:51Religion was designed around what you
1:37:53experienced and they're trying to put a
1:37:55name on it and they're trying to find a
1:37:57way and like oh how do we get to that
1:37:59place where there is healing and
1:38:01perfection? Okay, this tradition says
1:38:04let's make you sit in a booth and tell
1:38:06it to a person, right? Or this tradition
1:38:08says you've got 10 days in the fall,
1:38:10right? All these religions were, I'm
1:38:13assuming, right? Trying to catalog
1:38:16and encapsulate
1:38:18the true experience of being human,
1:38:21which arguably thousands of years ago
1:38:24was easier to access, right? When, you
1:38:27know, people are meditating or chanting
1:38:29or not
1:38:30distracted by technology or, you know,
1:38:32all these things. Like it was a
1:38:33different state of nature that we were
1:38:35living in. So religion was trying to be
1:38:37like, well, how about we get it this
1:38:39way? And then politics gets involved and
1:38:41then it's not no longer God, it's just
1:38:44humans, you know.
1:38:45That was my that was my history of
1:38:47religion in [laughter] 30 seconds or
1:38:49less.
1:38:49>> Very good. Very good. Yeah. Yeah, and
1:38:52that so that that whole uh
1:38:56life review experience, which I didn't
1:38:58know was a life review at the time,
1:39:00that
1:39:01in hindsight was probably
1:39:04the capstone of my learning. Being able
1:39:07to see all of this
1:39:09kind of unfold
1:39:11again in my own experience. I got to see
1:39:14sort of like, you know,
1:39:16reviewing your your tests before you
1:39:18turn it in, you know, at the end of the
1:39:20the school term.
1:39:21I was able to look at all those events
1:39:24and literally see it from all angles and
1:39:27experience it from all angles and
1:39:28understand how if I would have done
1:39:30something differently, the outcome would
1:39:32have been different.
1:39:34And uh
1:39:35very very transformative. It took me a
1:39:37long time to really wrap my brain around
1:39:39what I learned just from that piece of
1:39:42of the NDE.
1:39:44>> What every person who has had a near
1:39:46death experience has in common is they
1:39:48don't want to come back.
1:39:51And they are told you have to go back
1:39:54and there's some sort of, you know,
1:39:56Elizabeth Kübler-Ross describes it as
1:39:58being told that her soul had expanded
1:40:01and experienced its fullness and it was
1:40:04going to be really painful to squeeze it
1:40:06back into her frame, right? And she
1:40:09experienced a physical, you know, um
1:40:12you know, pain at that moment. Can you
1:40:14tell us about the moment that you were
1:40:18returned to the land of the living?
1:40:21>> Yeah.
1:40:23So it was it was like right after what I
1:40:26experienced as a life review and my
1:40:28teacher brought me to a different place
1:40:31that kind of looked like where I
1:40:32started.
1:40:34And she said, well, I'm going to have to
1:40:36send you back now. And I again, I threw
1:40:38a temper tantrum like, I do not want to
1:40:39go back there. I like this. I just want
1:40:41to keep doing what I'm doing here or,
1:40:44you know, experience whatever comes
1:40:46next.
1:40:47And again, yeah, she said, you need to
1:40:49go back. You've already agreed to go
1:40:51back.
1:40:52And And she said, well, I'm going to
1:40:53leave you with some healing so that when
1:40:56you come back into your body, it won't
1:40:58be quite so bad. Cuz I I was It wasn't
1:41:01just that I was terrified of being
1:41:04in the earth school again. I was afraid
1:41:07I was going to be a paraplegic when I
1:41:09came back because what they were doing
1:41:11to my spine was repairing a vertebrae in
1:41:14my lower back that had all but exploded.
1:41:17So there was really nothing left of it.
1:41:19And I You know, there was always there's
1:41:21always a chance when a a surgeon goes in
1:41:24there and does stuff like that that you
1:41:25might not come out of it with the
1:41:28ability to walk. So I was really afraid
1:41:31of the body itself that it would be
1:41:34impaired.
1:41:35Um
1:41:36you know, spoiler alert, that didn't
1:41:38happen.
1:41:40But so when she said that, she she put
1:41:43her not really physically laid her hand
1:41:46on my shoulder, but she put her hand
1:41:47kind of generally over my shoulder
1:41:50and then over my rib cage so that I
1:41:53wouldn't feel
1:41:55pain and that I would heal more quickly.
1:41:58And I thought, well, whatever. I mean,
1:42:00at this point I'm like, let her do what
1:42:02she's going to do cuz I don't know.
1:42:04>> Yeah, you don't want You kind of don't
1:42:05want to mess your spirit guide when
1:42:07you're dead.
1:42:08>> [laughter]
1:42:10>> Exactly. Like and I didn't know what she
1:42:12was doing. I didn't like just let her do
1:42:14her thing. So she did that
1:42:17and you know after a while I was sent
1:42:19back into my life and I woke up
1:42:23in the recovery room,
1:42:25you know, effectively like two and a
1:42:26half hours after the surgery started
1:42:29screaming. I was literally screaming at
1:42:31the top of my lungs.
1:42:34Came out of came out of anesthesia
1:42:36screaming
1:42:37for my guide. I'm like, where is she? I
1:42:40want her back. How come I'm not there?
1:42:42>> Whoa.
1:42:43>> Where am I? Like the nurses were
1:42:45freaking out.
1:42:46>> And they probably think you're having a
1:42:47negative reaction to anesthesia and
1:42:49she's hallucinating and oh this is what
1:42:52happens and she must have had a bad
1:42:54dream which is what I think many people
1:42:56might say. But no, you were actually
1:42:58remembering what you had just come from.
1:43:01>> Yeah, I was pissed. I was so pissed that
1:43:03I was here because all of a sudden so I
1:43:06had gotten used to
1:43:08a level of connection and communication
1:43:10that was now
1:43:12seemingly in that moment it wasn't
1:43:14reality but in seemingly in that moment
1:43:17that connection and communication
1:43:19to my friends, my spirit friend was cut
1:43:21off. That's my that was my perception.
1:43:23It didn't last long but it was my
1:43:25perception at the time.
1:43:27That all of a sudden here I am thrown
1:43:29back into this body all by myself.
1:43:32>> You sobered up, Nancy.
1:43:34>> Exactly. [laughter]
1:43:36And so I came out of it asking for
1:43:39my teacher, my guide and they they
1:43:41thought it was my friend who was in the
1:43:43lobby waiting for me to see you know.
1:43:46So they brought her in.
1:43:48>> And you punched her in the face.
1:43:49>> And I'm like that's not who I'm talking
1:43:52about. That's not her.
1:43:53[laughter]
1:43:54And I felt I actually apologized to my
1:43:56friend later. I'm like that's not
1:43:59and I finally told her what had happened
1:44:00but I said no that's not who I'm talking
1:44:02about.
1:44:03So they got me calm down and then I was
1:44:06back in but it was this feeling of
1:44:09all of a sudden being cut off from your
1:44:11family,
1:44:12but not the physical family necessarily
1:44:15here that I'm talk I'm talking about the
1:44:18the the family at the spiritual level,
1:44:21at the at that dimension, if you want to
1:44:24call it a different dimension or
1:44:25different reality.
1:44:26That feeling of grief It was grief. It
1:44:29was horrible grief. I went through
1:44:33periods of euphoria after my NDE, but
1:44:35also periods of really intense grief at
1:44:39being here. And I know a lot of other
1:44:42experiencers
1:44:44will talk about that. It it got bad.
1:44:47Some of those days were really dark for
1:44:49about 18 months.
1:44:51>> Yeah, I I'm curious and I I've never
1:44:53asked this and I hope it's okay to ask
1:44:55you. Did you ever think
1:44:57I just want to go back there? Like
1:44:59>> Yeah. Every day.
1:45:02Every day I battled that
1:45:04for 18 months.
1:45:07It was a daily I was There would be
1:45:09times when I was crying. I would be
1:45:11asking, you know, the divine universe to
1:45:14just take me home.
1:45:15Uh every day
1:45:17I would I would pray just to go home
1:45:19because it was
1:45:21I felt like I was on a completely
1:45:23different alien world.
1:45:25Um and it didn't help that it did feel
1:45:27like a different world when I came back.
1:45:29Not only was I a different person
1:45:31and had different abilities and a
1:45:33different sense of reality and an
1:45:36awakening all that stuff.
1:45:38Um there was a there were some
1:45:41differences when I came back which I
1:45:42still have
1:45:44a hard time kind of wrapping my brain
1:45:46around.
1:45:46>> So you were given an experience of a
1:45:48consciousness that had chosen, right?
1:45:50Essentially everything you were
1:45:51experiencing, but you still had a
1:45:54process that you needed to go through in
1:45:58terms of your practical physiology that
1:46:00required rehabilitation,
1:46:03you know, kind of like walking, like
1:46:05learning to be in this like cast and
1:46:07brace and you know, you were placed back
1:46:10into a body. It's not like you could
1:46:12frolic through the fields and be like,
1:46:14I'm a person who understands the meaning
1:46:16of the Universe. Like, you were placed,
1:46:18and I think of Jill Bolte Taylor, you
1:46:21know, who after her experience still had
1:46:23to be like, what how do I like put this
1:46:26robot, you know, back into motion? And,
1:46:29you know, some of the challenges you had
1:46:31a traumatic brain injury, right? Like
1:46:33that's just like the real like medical
1:46:36diagnosis of of what also happened to
1:46:39you. So, you know, what you describe is
1:46:41that you had this like beautiful
1:46:42awakening. You had spontaneous
1:46:45creativity. Like, you started painting
1:46:47and you know, like you had all of this
1:46:49like amazing like right brain like, you
1:46:52know, explosion, right? And also you had
1:46:56to be placed back into a body that while
1:46:59it did I think have some really
1:47:00miraculous healing, right?
1:47:03Also was still a limitation for you, at
1:47:06least in the short term.
1:47:07>> Yeah, it took um
1:47:09they you know, the doctor said it would
1:47:11take
1:47:13a couple of years for the brain to fully
1:47:15heal. It was a little bit shorter than
1:47:17that, but it did take a while.
1:47:20And then they said it would be about
1:47:21four months ish for my bones to heal up.
1:47:26And luckily my legs were fine, so I
1:47:29didn't have any impact to my legs and
1:47:33none of my leg bones were broken.
1:47:35So that was a relief. I could actually
1:47:37walk. I had a body cast on. I had a neck
1:47:40brace on. For a while I had my arm my
1:47:43left arm in a sling. So I was basically
1:47:45like working with one hand all the time.
1:47:47I couldn't drive for a while
1:47:49um
1:47:50as you can imagine. And it took so I was
1:47:53in the hospital for two weeks, came
1:47:54home.
1:47:55But within
1:47:57so like four a little over four weeks
1:48:00from the day of the accident,
1:48:03uh I went in for a checkup for my you
1:48:06know, they did another scan on my body,
1:48:07did x-rays on my bones.
1:48:09And I remember the doctor came out and
1:48:11so this is four like a little over a
1:48:13month, four weeks.
1:48:15the doctor came out and said, well,
1:48:18I don't know how this is happening, but
1:48:19we can take all your your casts and
1:48:21braces off right now. And I'm like,
1:48:23what?
1:48:25You said that I was supposed to be in
1:48:26those for
1:48:2816 weeks or more.
1:48:30He said, no, everything looks fine. I
1:48:32don't know how to explain it, but your
1:48:35your bones are fine. You can you don't
1:48:37need to have those on. Now, the funny
1:48:39thing was I was so scared that I still
1:48:41used the brace for a while because it
1:48:43did didn't compute.
1:48:46But but he said, no, your scans are
1:48:48absolutely fine. Everything's healed up
1:48:50the way it needs to be. You can take it
1:48:53And I said even my neck cuz my neck, all
1:48:55the
1:48:56all the ligaments and tendons were
1:48:58shattered,
1:48:59the neck bones were shattered. He said,
1:49:01no, everything's fine.
1:49:04You don't need that. But the but the the
1:49:06long-term effect was I had all of this
1:49:10stuff I had experienced,
1:49:13but I couldn't I couldn't write very
1:49:15well,
1:49:16physically write. I could only write for
1:49:19about 5 minutes before I was just too
1:49:22taxed. I couldn't write anything.
1:49:24Um I I did start writing down my NDE as
1:49:28soon as I could, but it was like in
1:49:305-minute increments. Like I could write
1:49:32for as long as I could, and then I
1:49:35I had to stop. I couldn't really read
1:49:37very well for a long time. That took a
1:49:39long time to come back. I I worked
1:49:41really hard at it.
1:49:43And I The worst part was the speech. I
1:49:45could not speak very well at all. I
1:49:47could speak,
1:49:49but the words would often times come out
1:49:52jumbled.
1:49:53And And I knew what I was trying to say,
1:49:56but it was just this massive bizarre
1:49:58words.
1:50:00So that took about
1:50:029 months to a year, maybe a little bit
1:50:04more for that to kind of clear up.
1:50:06>> Do you know what your brain injury like
1:50:08specifically was? Do you know where the
1:50:10bleed was? Do you know what the damage
1:50:11was?
1:50:12>> The bleed was in the back
1:50:14uh back in the back. I don't know what
1:50:16what artery it was, but it was in the
1:50:18back of the head.
1:50:19The damage
1:50:21um that they talked about was really up
1:50:23here in the the right prefrontal cortex
1:50:26and also the I excuse me, the left
1:50:27prefrontal cortex and the left temporal
1:50:29lobe.
1:50:29>> Okay. I was going to say you're talking
1:50:31about like yeah I mean that's all like
1:50:33word salad kind of Wernicke's stuff.
1:50:35Yeah.
1:50:36>> The other thing that was impacted that
1:50:38actually never came back
1:50:40was my my ability to do math,
1:50:43mathematics and in computer programming.
1:50:46I can't do that now to save my life. I
1:50:48have tried.
1:50:49>> Yeah, that's temporal lobe also. It's
1:50:50like all that integration and
1:50:52computation. That's wow.
1:50:54>> Yeah. And along with it,
1:50:56I hate to admit this,
1:50:58um I used to love music and I think it
1:51:00goes along with that left temporal lobe
1:51:01stuff. I I honestly don't like music
1:51:04anymore.
1:51:05>> What does that mean? How do you not like
1:51:07music anymore?
1:51:08>> I can listen to it for about 5 minutes,
1:51:1110 minutes and then it feels like nails
1:51:13on a chalkboard. I get really anxious
1:51:16and irritable and I have to turn it off.
1:51:18>> Have you tried other kinds of music?
1:51:20Like does classical music feel like is
1:51:22it all the same? That's the worst.
1:51:24>> Yeah, I you know honestly
1:51:26>> jazz?
1:51:27>> I [laughter] haven't tried that, but I
1:51:29but the funky thing is that I used to
1:51:31love classical. I used to go down to the
1:51:33Chicago Symphony Orchestra when I was a
1:51:35kid. I loved the orchestra. I'd go down
1:51:38there every chance I could get
1:51:40and I can't stand it now to save my
1:51:42life. I hate to admit that. I I love the
1:51:44idea of of orchestral music, but I can't
1:51:47handle it for longer than a few minutes.
1:51:49One of the things that I noticed after I
1:51:51came back was it it it took me about a
1:51:55year um to realize this.
1:51:58So I came back and
1:52:01it was probably about a year later. I
1:52:02noticed that there was a
1:52:05it sounds really I know how crazy this I
1:52:07absolutely as a scientist I know how
1:52:09crazy this sounds, but this really
1:52:11opened up
1:52:14another world of exploration for me into
1:52:16physics. So this is what really helped
1:52:19me dive
1:52:21physics. So if I was going to go back
1:52:23and get a degree again, I would
1:52:24absolutely go into physics if I could do
1:52:26the math, but I can't. So but I'm super
1:52:29interested in physics because of this.
1:52:31So when I came back
1:52:33after about a year, I was on Facebook
1:52:36one day
1:52:38just plinking around, you know, doing
1:52:40the doom scrolling thing. And I noticed
1:52:43that a
1:52:44an acquaintance of mine, a a fellow
1:52:46artist in in where I was living
1:52:50had posted some pictures of her, she and
1:52:53her husband on vacation, that they had
1:52:55just gone on this vacation.
1:52:58And I I did a double and triple take
1:53:01because
1:53:02in the reality that I left when I had my
1:53:05NDE, I had just gone to his funeral.
1:53:08He had died.
1:53:10In my understanding, he had died
1:53:13before
1:53:14my NDE, probably about a year a year
1:53:16before
1:53:18my accident. He had died while they were
1:53:20on vacation. He had a heart attack. She
1:53:23had to bring his body back to home and
1:53:25have the funeral and stuff. And I went
1:53:28to his funeral and it that whole
1:53:30incident and I looked through all of her
1:53:35back and scrolled through all of her
1:53:36posts. He had absolutely in this reality
1:53:38that I came back into
1:53:41had been alive this whole time. But I
1:53:43remember him, distinctly remember him
1:53:46dying. Now this also happened to another
1:53:49friend of mine
1:53:50whose husband died before the NDE and I
1:53:53found out he was alive.
1:53:55In in my reality, you know, before
1:53:58I had my NDE,
1:54:01she
1:54:02her husband died, but her son was alive.
1:54:05Her son was, you know, I think at that
1:54:08point in his 20s or so,
1:54:10and he was alive.
1:54:12And
1:54:14after the end so the this when I finally
1:54:16came into her sphere again, you know,
1:54:19that year after and I saw her husband
1:54:20was alive,
1:54:22it was her son that had died.
1:54:25And I swear that took me months and
1:54:28months and months to just sit with like
1:54:30how in the world
1:54:31could this possibly be?
1:54:34But it was it's the it's the whole idea
1:54:37of the timeline thing or the different
1:54:40whatever if you want to call them
1:54:41different simulations running at the
1:54:43same time whatever however you want to
1:54:45term it.
1:54:46So that led me into the realization that
1:54:48it isn't just one
1:54:51reality that we have. We've got
1:54:52multiple.
1:54:54Especially with those two people
1:54:56that had died
1:54:58and were now alive. You can't I mean you
1:55:00just can't
1:55:02fake that.
1:55:03And and unfortunately I have no way to
1:55:06prove it because in this reality they're
1:55:08alive.
1:55:09>> Yeah, but also like I'm just thinking
1:55:11about
1:55:13you know
1:55:14who you are as a person when you have
1:55:17the ability to see other timelines and
1:55:19other people may not.
1:55:22I mean
1:55:23you know many traditions have shamans
1:55:26and you know mystical leaders who
1:55:30see other timelines, right? And we sort
1:55:32of like dismiss that as folklore or like
1:55:35oh that's so quaint and like we you know
1:55:37but we're in a materialist world like we
1:55:39don't need to think like that.
1:55:40But I'm also you know there's there's a
1:55:42little bit of also you know kind of like
1:55:44humor in this, right? In that you have
1:55:46the ability to
1:55:49bring life.
1:55:50>> Yeah, it isn't I mean it isn't me just
1:55:52in this reality for whatever reason
1:55:54those two people are now here because
1:55:57that was
1:55:59whatever they wanted to experience that
1:56:00in this reality. I don't know how all
1:56:02that works. And in fact it was if I ever
1:56:05have another
1:56:06NDE where I get to come back that was
1:56:08one of the questions I wanted to ask is
1:56:10what's all this about?
1:56:11How come I was able to experience these
1:56:14people who are now alive who had died
1:56:16before?
1:56:17Um but I I've heard that same story or a
1:56:21similar story from from a few other
1:56:23NDEers where they came back and
1:56:26pets that had died are now alive or
1:56:29other family members who had died or now
1:56:31or the opposite, you know, somebody's
1:56:33dead that was alive when they had their
1:56:36NDE. So it's not completely uncommon,
1:56:40but that that really thinking about that
1:56:43led me into
1:56:45not just Doctor Strange in the
1:56:47Multiverse of Madness, but really
1:56:49how how our reality
1:56:53is more like both shamanism and quantum
1:56:55physics than
1:56:57we really understand. And that's when I
1:56:59started to really lose my
1:57:02my attraction to this is a material
1:57:04reality. It isn't. This is this is not a
1:57:06material reality as much as we like to
1:57:08think of it as.
1:57:09Um and I've got like a hundred other
1:57:11stories that back that up um because I
1:57:15had some so much stuff happen
1:57:18after that NDE that just continued to
1:57:22make me question the nature of this
1:57:24reality as material.
1:57:27And it and it just helped propel me, you
1:57:29know, to further and further study. I
1:57:31end I ended up learning how to be a
1:57:33shaman
1:57:35and just because I wanted to understand
1:57:37how that worked,
1:57:38it led me into learning past life
1:57:41regression again so I could understand
1:57:42more of how those lives how other lives
1:57:46worked
1:57:47uh and what we could learn from that. So
1:57:48it it it really helped me
1:57:51dive into studying more and learning
1:57:54more so I could expand even more. So
1:57:57it's not like I came back and all of a
1:57:59sudden was enlightened. It was just a
1:58:00doorway.
1:58:02It was an opening that was encouraging
1:58:05me to continue
1:58:07studying, continue developing, continue
1:58:09expanding.
1:58:10>> It's amazing. Thank you so much for
1:58:12sharing this with us. Every person who
1:58:15has experienced an NDE that we have
1:58:16spoken to has some instance
1:58:20from their childhood,
1:58:23from when they were very young,
1:58:26of being called on
1:58:29to
1:58:30know what it is like to have to divide
1:58:34your conscious experience,
1:58:36to dissociate. You know, often it comes
1:58:39from a traumatic experience and people
1:58:41have said that the skill of being able
1:58:43to dissociate they think prepared them
1:58:48or was part of their training.
1:58:50Many describe
1:58:52having other near death experiences or
1:58:56traumatic events.
1:58:58Looking back now at your life, what
1:59:01happened when [snorts] you were a child
1:59:03when you were four?
1:59:05>> Yeah, that was pretty traumatic. Um I
1:59:07had probably undiagnosed ADD when I was
1:59:10a kid
1:59:11because I was just hyperactive like all
1:59:13the time, just going going.
1:59:15So when I was four, my parents we lived
1:59:18on a small family farm and my family was
1:59:21building an additional barn on the
1:59:23property and and there was scaffolding
1:59:26up on one end of the barn so that my you
1:59:28know, my brothers and my dad could put
1:59:30the siding up.
1:59:33And there was a I don't remember what
1:59:34day of the week it was, but
1:59:36it was probably a weekend cuz my
1:59:38brothers and my dad were up there. I
1:59:40didn't realize that they had come down
1:59:42for lunch and I'm you know, hyperactive
1:59:46Nancy. I ran out. I was going to try to
1:59:48find my brothers and my dad. I didn't
1:59:51realize that they had already come into
1:59:52the house for lunch.
1:59:54So I ran out there, climbed up the
1:59:56scaffolding
1:59:58and it was like 30 ft off the off the
2:00:01ground.
2:00:03And my mom came out looking for me. My
2:00:05mom and my older sister came out looking
2:00:07for me and my mom saw me just
2:00:12start to climb over the top of the
2:00:14scaffolding to get onto the planking
2:00:16and she screamed.
2:00:19And I just I froze, but I froze with my
2:00:22hands open. I just let go and fell off
2:00:26backwards
2:00:27onto the concrete. There was a concrete
2:00:30slab.
2:00:31I know, right? So four, four and a half.
2:00:34And I hit the my my parents thought I
2:00:38was a dead girl, you know. That was they
2:00:40assumed I was going to be dead
2:00:42cuz I I didn't have any padding on. It
2:00:45was just a slab of concrete and I fell,
2:00:47hit my head on the
2:00:49you know, on the concrete, hit my back.
2:00:52Um
2:00:53luckily for me
2:00:55uh I didn't have any
2:00:58internal injuries. I had a concussion,
2:01:01but I had no, you know,
2:01:03I had no broken bones. How the heck that
2:01:05happened, I can I can maybe explain that
2:01:08a little bit, but
2:01:10at that time nobody understood why I did
2:01:13why I wasn't just a mess of broken
2:01:15bones.
2:01:17So they brought me into the hospital,
2:01:19but all you know, I was so I was out. I
2:01:20was unconscious for
2:01:23I think my parents said about 45
2:01:24minutes, which is a long time for a kid
2:01:27to be unconscious.
2:01:29And
2:01:30all I I remember bits and pieces of
2:01:32that, but I think that from what I when
2:01:35I talked about this with
2:01:36with um
2:01:38like PMH Atwater and some other NDE
2:01:41researchers,
2:01:42it's very likely that that was an NDE. I
2:01:44just don't remember a lot of the
2:01:46details. I remember the love. I remember
2:01:48the light. I remember certain things
2:01:50about it.
2:01:51And and I remember waking up in the
2:01:54emergency room
2:01:56being angry that I was here
2:01:58as a four year old.
2:02:00And that's when I that's when I became
2:02:02that, you know, philosophical little
2:02:03spiritual kid for a while.
2:02:06Um and so that was probably, you know,
2:02:09that was the first time that this kind
2:02:11of thing had happened, but I came back
2:02:12into
2:02:14this life and from the time I was a
2:02:16little kid, I was able to remote view. I
2:02:19could do all these different weird
2:02:21esoteric things
2:02:23um
2:02:25that I just assumed everybody could do.
2:02:29I was always remote viewing and I just
2:02:31assumed everybody could, but that I
2:02:33think came as a result of that first
2:02:37NDE.
2:02:38>> Hashtag I was always remote viewing.
2:02:42>> [laughter]
2:02:43>> I could always do it.
2:02:44>> What were you remote viewing and what
2:02:48happened to that skill as you became an
2:02:50atheist materialist?
2:02:52>> I still had it. I just assumed it was a
2:02:54natural ability that everybody had. I
2:02:56didn't think anything of it.
2:02:58>> What were you viewing? What does a
2:02:59four-year-old need to view?
2:03:01>> So, yeah, when I was a kid, it was just
2:03:03like I would go traveling. I would take,
2:03:05you know, it would be like sitting in my
2:03:07bedroom or whatever. I would I would
2:03:09meditate and I didn't know that's what I
2:03:11was doing,
2:03:12but I was going out of body. And
2:03:15sometimes I would go visit my dad when
2:03:17he was at work just to make sure he was
2:03:18okay. In fact, that's what a lot of it
2:03:20was as I was just,
2:03:22you know, going to see people that I
2:03:24already knew and just just assumed that
2:03:26everybody could do this.
2:03:28And as I got older,
2:03:31it became a little bit less frequent.
2:03:34But I remember doing some of this stuff
2:03:38when I was even in college. So when I
2:03:39was in my 20s,
2:03:41I remember going on a trip to Western
2:03:44Colorado with a boyfriend at the time.
2:03:48And I had a spontaneous remote view out
2:03:50there and it freaked him out. It still
2:03:53does to this day. I still talk to him
2:03:54every once in a while. I'll send him
2:03:56this podcast when it comes out because
2:03:59it it completely freaked him out. I was
2:04:01dozing in the passenger seat of the
2:04:03truck he was driving.
2:04:05And we were out in the, you know, the
2:04:07mesas of Western Colorado.
2:04:09And out of what appeared to be a deep
2:04:11sleep, I yelled at him to stop driving.
2:04:13There's something back in that canyon
2:04:15that I need to see.
2:04:17And he's like looking at me like, what
2:04:18are you talking about? I said there's a
2:04:21At this time, I was really heavily into
2:04:24archaeology and Native American ruins
2:04:27and just, you know, the the archaeology
2:04:29of the Western United States and
2:04:32especially
2:04:33very ancient rock art. I love that
2:04:35stuff. I still do.
2:04:37And out of this deep sleep, I just
2:04:39yelled at him, we need to stop and pull
2:04:41back off in that canyon.
2:04:43And he just like, what are you doing
2:04:44what are you talking about?
2:04:46So he did he actually, you know, to his
2:04:48credit
2:04:49>> He's like, I thought it was cool to date
2:04:51archaeology girl. Now it's feeling
2:04:52[laughter] a little weird.
2:04:54>> So we I think, you know, maybe he was
2:04:56going to prove that I was, you know,
2:04:59a weirdo or whatever.
2:05:00But he he humored me. He turned the
2:05:02truck around and we went back. It was a
2:05:05From our perspective, we were going
2:05:06south.
2:05:07This canyon was kind of coming into the
2:05:10road
2:05:11kind of going back behind us. So I could
2:05:13only see the entrance to it. I couldn't
2:05:15see back into it.
2:05:16So we drove back in there a little bit
2:05:18and I said it's here right here. And I
2:05:20got out and we looked for a while and I
2:05:22found this incredible panel of rock art
2:05:24and I said, see, it's right there
2:05:26exactly where
2:05:27I said it was going to be. And he just
2:05:30lost it.
2:05:32How did you know that was there? I said,
2:05:34I don't know. I just did. I just knew it
2:05:36was there. And today, I mean, I've even
2:05:38talked to him in the last year. He still
2:05:40talks about that incident.
2:05:42>> Yeah, no I would talk about that
2:05:44[laughter] forever.
2:05:45I feel like this girl in this car seat
2:05:47remote viewed.
2:05:49>> When you let go of the notion that this
2:05:51is simply a material world,
2:05:53then a lot of this stuff starts to make
2:05:54sense. This is not a material world, as
2:05:56much as we like to convince ourselves
2:05:58that it is.
2:06:00It's not a material reality.
2:06:02And we are all connected, everyone and
2:06:05everything, to not just in this
2:06:07timeline, but in all times.
2:06:09So it may have been
2:06:11that I was able to connect with people
2:06:13the energy of those people who were
2:06:15there
2:06:162,000 years ago painting that panel of
2:06:19rock art. In my time frame, it was 2,000
2:06:22years ago.
2:06:23But time doesn't make any difference.
2:06:25>> How about it's not even remote viewing?
2:06:28Maybe Nancy was connected in a different
2:06:31way with
2:06:34some aspect of existence, right? It So I
2:06:39mean like the the sort of like to freak
2:06:41your ex-boyfriend out even more, maybe
2:06:44it wasn't just that you were remote
2:06:45viewing, you were able to travel into
2:06:48different timelines and perhaps were at
2:06:51the creation of that.
2:06:54>> Yeah, it very well could be. And in
2:06:55fact, I suspect that's probably what
2:06:57more like what it was because there is
2:06:59no The way that we experience time here
2:07:03is just here. It's it's it's an This
2:07:06time that we experience going past, it's
2:07:08an illusion.
2:07:10All times, all things, there's no
2:07:12There's no time on the other side. It It
2:07:16doesn't pass the way we experience it.
2:07:18All times
2:07:20are available at any one moment.
2:07:23And so that's probably what I was doing
2:07:26was connecting into that. And I can
2:07:27still do that kind of thing
2:07:29today.
2:07:30Um I try not I try to put kind of tamp
2:07:33it down because some You know, sometimes
2:07:35you don't want to necessarily connect
2:07:37with something that happened in a
2:07:38specific place 200 years ago.
2:07:40>> Okay, but I'll send you my list of the
2:07:42dozen things I would like you to
2:07:43[laughter] look into right now. Um
2:07:46what's incredible about Awakenings from
2:07:48the Light, 12 Life Lessons from a
2:07:50Near-Death Experience, is that it was
2:07:51published in 2015.
2:07:54Like this literally I mean this
2:07:57kind of It came out in your healing. Um
2:08:01and also want to um mention Walking in
2:08:05the Light, a Daily Guidebook for
2:08:06Enhancing Peace, Love, and Connection,
2:08:09um which is um a more kind of practical
2:08:12reflections and readings. Um
2:08:15you know, Nancy, we've spoken to a lot
2:08:17of people who have died and come back.
2:08:19You are really, really an exceptional,
2:08:22exceptional human being. And I
2:08:25understand that we only get to interact
2:08:27with you in this material world, but
2:08:29when I die, I'd like to hang out with
2:08:31your spirit for sure. There's a lot
2:08:33there.
2:08:34>> [laughter]
2:08:34>> I'll look you up.
2:08:36>> Um thank you so much. Where can people
2:08:38find out more about you besides just the
2:08:40books? Where can they find you in the
2:08:42universe?
2:08:43>> Yeah, you can look at my website,
2:08:44consciousjourneys.net
2:08:46and that'll get you some more
2:08:47information on me.
2:08:48>> Also, um if you can just give kind of a
2:08:50nod to your art, um do you do you sell
2:08:55your art? Do you display it? I I'm
2:08:57curious where that expression of you
2:08:59literally lives.
2:09:01>> Yeah, so I do actually sell it and it's
2:09:03it's um on my website,
2:09:05nancyryansart.com.
2:09:07So that's a different website.
2:09:09I do sell it in galleries here in
2:09:11Arizona and also in Colorado. Um and you
2:09:14can get to those from my site as well.
2:09:17Uh and it's and it really I I had
2:09:20painted off and on
2:09:22my whole life.
2:09:23>> You're a very very good artist. Wow.
2:09:25>> and I and it it really
2:09:29it took hold after this.
2:09:32>> Yeah, we're not just like, oh, Nancy
2:09:34paints little landscapes.
2:09:36Oh, you have a very special eye for
2:09:39rendering and detail and emotional
2:09:43content of animals [snorts] in
2:09:45particular.
2:09:46>> Yeah, it's really to for me a way to
2:09:48express
2:09:49our our unity, our oneness, our
2:09:51emotional connection to each other.
2:09:54And and it's just another form of
2:09:55expression. It was originally
2:09:57I did it originally because it was going
2:10:00to help my brain heal.
2:10:02And then I just realized it was a really
2:10:05important form of expression for me and
2:10:07also a form of again putting that energy
2:10:10out into the world that I wanted to be
2:10:12there.
2:10:13It's just in a different way.
2:10:15>> Really really unbelievable. Um we'll
2:10:17also link to that as well. Thank you so
2:10:19so much.
2:10:20>> Oh, thank you so much for having me on.
2:10:22It's been a pleasure.
2:10:25>> [music]
2:10:27>> A couple things stuck with me, um that I
2:10:30I didn't want to joke with her about.
2:10:32>> Remote viewing that we didn't even get
2:10:33to that until the hour 50 mark. All of a
2:10:37sudden we're talking about remote
2:10:39viewing.
2:10:40>> It's not even remote viewing. She's
2:10:41literally time traveling.
2:10:43>> Well, I agree that
2:10:43>> all time is available at any moment,
2:10:46which is why you're like, what's going
2:10:48to happen? And I was like, well, let's
2:10:49go explore.
2:10:50>> I'm just thinking I can never be mean to
2:10:51you again.
2:10:52>> You're going to have a review and you're
2:10:53going to feel it.
2:10:56You're programming
2:10:58>> want to work this late clean. I'm sorry.
2:11:00>> You're You're programming an experience
2:11:03with all of those emotions. You don't
2:11:04want to have those emotions.
2:11:06You don't like the emotions you have
2:11:07now.
2:11:09>> I feel terrible. Sometimes I'm irritable
2:11:11with the dog cuz he wants to be petted
2:11:13more.
2:11:13>> Look, he tried to cuddle me last night.
2:11:15I got very annoyed.
2:11:17So hot.
2:11:18I'm trying to sleep.
2:11:19>> You You just caused a ripple in the
2:11:21consciousness field.
2:11:23She had a guide slash teacher, you know,
2:11:26walk her through the next world.
2:11:28Vinnie Todd Tolman, his guide, it turned
2:11:31out he was essentially he was related
2:11:34to. He later found out.
2:11:35>> was a That was a twist.
2:11:37>> If you could choose someone, anyone in
2:11:39history
2:11:40to be your guide in the afterlife, who
2:11:42would it be?
2:11:43>> Michael Jordan.
2:11:44>> I thought you were going to say Jerry
2:11:45Garcia.
2:11:46>> Oh, oh, that would be interesting,
2:11:48actually.
2:11:49>> I get Michael Jordan, you get Jerry
2:11:51Garcia.
2:11:54>> I mean, which version of Jerry do I get?
2:11:56>> bro.
2:11:57>> Before he lost his finger.
2:12:00>> No, losing his finger made him who he
2:12:02is. I was just thinking like, how strung
2:12:05out is he? Is Is he still have his
2:12:07heroin problem?
2:12:09>> No. Okay, sorry. I didn't know I needed
2:12:11to revise that. Whoever your guide is,
2:12:14they're not strung out on heroin.
2:12:16They're the highest, most evolved
2:12:19version of themselves as they guide you
2:12:21through the afterlife.
2:12:23>> Yeah, Jerry would be fun.
2:12:25Yeah.
2:12:25>> Mhm.
2:12:26>> I mean, I don't mean to disparage him.
2:12:28He had a had some rough times, but
2:12:30>> He He was Well, he was a struggling
2:12:32person, yes.
2:12:33>> But yeah, he would be great.
2:12:35>> Mhm.
2:12:36>> Um
2:12:38the lineage bearer of this person who um
2:12:42taught
2:12:44Reiki that she's the lineage bearer of
2:12:45the of Reiki that I that I learned. Um,
2:12:49I went to see her one time. Uh, she
2:12:51lives in Idaho. And
2:12:53we were hanging out for many days. And
2:12:55it turned out that she
2:12:58went and hung out with Jerry and the
2:13:00crew.
2:13:02And they were like into energy healing
2:13:04and all of those types of
2:13:07consciousness expanding activities. Um,
2:13:10and she was like, oh yeah, they had and
2:13:12then she like described the group that
2:13:13there was it was this is a long time ago
2:13:15that she told me. But um, so yeah, she
2:13:17hung out with Jerry and the crew.
2:13:19And she said
2:13:20that they all just hung out and spent
2:13:22all their time together and was like a
2:13:24big family and she's like
2:13:26they didn't get too serious about it but
2:13:27like they explored it and then she said
2:13:29uh, yeah. So that's that happened.
2:13:32That's not a good story. We should cut
2:13:33it. Your your face is
2:13:35>> So the reason
2:13:35>> bad to tell a story to.
2:13:37>> No.
2:13:38[laughter]
2:13:39Wow. Your face is so bad to tell a story
2:13:43to. All right. Kind of feel like
2:13:45[laughter] we're going to wrap it up
2:13:45here. The reason that my face was doing
2:13:48that is because all I was thinking is
2:13:49that if Valerie were sitting in that
2:13:51chair, if Alyssa were sitting in that
2:13:54chair, the first thing they would have
2:13:56said AFTER JERRY GARCIA WOULD BE
2:13:59who would your guide be? You know what?
2:14:01>> You said Mike
2:14:02>> leave you hanging.
2:14:03>> You said Michael Jordan would be yours
2:14:07and Jerry would be mine. So you chose
2:14:09yours. Is this such a setup?
2:14:12Always being set up.
2:14:14Look at that in your life review.
2:14:19I love hold on.
2:14:21I I love this show.
2:14:24>> And I'm [laughter] in my head I'm like,
2:14:25am I expecting too much? Am I thinking
2:14:27too much? Should I date a woman? Like is
2:14:28THAT THE PROBLEM?
2:14:31[laughter]
2:14:33THAT'S WHAT MY FACE WAS DOING AND YOU'RE
2:14:34LIKE, Jerry Garcia, blah blah blah blah
2:14:37blah.
2:14:38>> Maybe if your face hadn't been like
2:14:40that, we would have gotten back
2:14:42to your spirit guides.
2:14:45What I love is that we just had a very
2:14:47intense conversation about the nature of
2:14:49reality, about physics, about the nature
2:14:53of time, remote viewing, afterlife,
2:14:57guides, angels, the meaning of Earth
2:15:00school, and what are we doing?
2:15:01>> [laughter]
2:15:02>> Thinking about if we should date women
2:15:04cuz they're more emotionally available.
2:15:07[laughter]
2:15:10Please check us out on Substack. Make
2:15:11sure you're following us. Make sure
2:15:12you're subscribed. Thank you for being
2:15:14along for this ride from our breakdown
2:15:16to the one we hope you never have.
2:15:18[music] We'll see you next time.
2:15:19>> It's Maya B.
2:15:21X breakdown. She's going to break it
2:15:23down for you. She's got a neuroscience
2:15:25PhD [music] or two.
2:15:28And now she's going to break down. It's
2:15:30a breakdown. She's going to break it
2:15:31down.

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of Atheist Dies & Meets Her Spirit Guide. She Was Sent Back With 12 Messages | Nancy Rynes by Dr. Mayim Bialik, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 23,024 words across 3,672 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to choose a caption track available on the video.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, caption language selection, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.