ARTIST RATES RESIDENT EVIL PROTAGONISTS — Transcript

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1. 0:00Resident Evil. So, if there's one thing
2. 0:02I know about Resident Evil from having
3. 0:03played a few games now in SirKlipski's
4. 0:05streams here,
5. 0:07is that a lot of the characters in these
6. 0:10games are stupid attractive. Like, we've
7. 0:13all seen Daddy Leon, and we've all seen
8. 0:15Daddy Leon now to the point that I've
9. 0:18seen discourse about RE Requiem about
10. 0:21Leon and Grace, who are both very very
11. 0:23pretty by the way, because people got
12. 0:25mad that us girly pops were like, "Ooh,
13. 0:28yes, Daddy Leon, blow out my spine."
14. 0:31But, it kind of got me thinking a little
15. 0:33bit. Is every playable character in
16. 0:37these games hot? Is this just a psyop
17. 0:40for wanting us to play a game about
18. 0:43killing zombies as Calvin Klein models?
19. 0:45Is the actual end goal to just put a hot
20. 0:48daddy on screen and watch you bash
21. 0:50people's skulls in and punch rocks? I
22. 0:53think so, and I want to see today the
23. 0:56Resident Evil protagonists. I'm talking
24. 0:58playable characters. How hot are they?
25. 1:01Is everybody who's playable attractive?
26. 1:03Yes, no, why? And we will discuss
27. 1:06because I think this is an important
28. 1:07question cuz I want to know if playing
29. 1:09Resident Evil is actually a [ __ ] like
30. 1:12massive operation to get people to think
31. 1:15that a zombie [ __ ] event would be
32. 1:17okay so long as we had a hot daddy to
33. 1:19take care of the problem, you know? So,
34. 1:21let's uh look at some RE protagonists in
35. 1:24many different forms cuz a lot of these
36. 1:25people show up in other games, and uh
37. 1:27see, are they all hot?
38. 1:29>> Make him flatter.
39. 1:31>> What about one lady type of guy?
40. 1:33>> This is only playable characters. If
41. 1:35this one does well, we can talk about
42. 1:36the NPCs. Okay, so we're starting with
43. 1:38Resident Evil 0. Wait, 0? 0 is like a
44. 1:40prequel so what? I was not expecting a
45. 1:41Resident Evil 0.
46. 1:43>> Billy.
47. 1:44>> Show me what you got.
48. 1:46>> Been fantasizing about me, have you?
49. 1:48>> Um
50. 1:51There's attractive stuff about this
51. 1:52[ __ ] but like the overall vibe I'm
52. 1:55getting is put a dollar in the douchebag
53. 1:56jar. And don't call me little girl.
54. 1:59>> All right, Miss Do-It-Yourself.
55. 2:01>> Lay off the hair grease. This is the
56. 2:03most 2000s man ever. Yeah.
57. 2:06You know that bad boy in like every
58. 2:08sitcom ever that like the the like
59. 2:11[ __ ] teen girl of the family fell in
60. 2:13love with for like one episode and then
61. 2:14the dad had to prove he was a bad dude.
62. 2:16This is this character.
63. 2:17>> She's drinking beer. Yeah. Tastes
64. 2:20horrible. Want some?
65. 2:22>> That is a male lesbian. That
66. 2:24You can't say stuff like that. Oh my
67. 2:27[ __ ] god, male lesbian is a word. But
68. 2:30like he does have the cleavage for it.
69. 2:32But there's stuff about this character
70. 2:33that I can tell at a glance that I like.
71. 2:34Like I see the dog tags. I see like the
72. 2:36handcuffs on one hand. Like the little
73. 2:38baby yee yee ass gun. Let me let me
74. 2:40become
75. 2:41a red piller and then analyze his bone
76. 2:43structure. Looks maxing. How looks
77. 2:45maxing are we doing? Are you Is he
78. 2:47mogging, chat? No, like the face is kind
79. 2:50of giving mog, but the hair is tragic,
80. 2:52okay? Low-key we're trying to hide a
81. 2:54bald spot. a little bit. It's like very
82. 2:572000s with like the tank top with blood
83. 3:00on it, the wife beater, and like the
84. 3:02tucked-in jeans, and like boots. The
85. 3:04fashion sense is on point, but I don't
86. 3:06know if I like this combination. So, uh
87. 3:08Billy, I would give you like if I'm
88. 3:11ranking out of 10, you're like at like a
89. 3:14high six
90. 3:15>> in the attractiveness scale, okay?
91. 3:18You could do better, Billy. Fix your
92. 3:19[ __ ] Who's next? Oh, we got girly pop.
93. 3:22>> The name is Rebecca Chambers, but that's
94. 3:24officer Chambers to you.
95. 3:26>> Oh, adorable.
96. 3:27>> Rebecca!
97. 3:29>> That is a face that you would bring home
98. 3:31to meet your mom. This is girlfriend
99. 3:33material, okay? The little like [ __ ]
100. 3:36pixie haircut. She's wearing like her
101. 3:38military gear all dainty. Like this is
102. 3:40girly popping. If this was pink, this is
103. 3:42a vibe. This is a K-pop outfit. But it's
104. 3:44like actually tactically useful.
105. 3:47Like she's wearing a yee yee ass
106. 3:49bulletproof vest, and like she has army
107. 3:50colors, but like she has such a cute
108. 3:51face. 10 out of 10 would die first in
109. 3:54the zombie apocalypse though. Like she's
110. 3:55so pretty, but her face is like so
111. 3:57innocent and like squishy that I would
112. 4:00assume that a zombie would [ __ ] bite
113. 4:01out her jugular immediately, you know?
114. 4:04She's a medic. Oh, thank god she's not
115. 4:05on the front lines. I was worried for a
116. 4:07second. Yeah, she's not going to get her
117. 4:08jugular bitten out. Okay, she's fine.
118. 4:09She's good. She's [ __ ]
119. 4:11Rebecca, I would rate you a an eight out
120. 4:13of 10.
121. 4:15>> [bell]
122. 4:15>> Not a 10 cuz you would die first. Good
123. 4:17job. Now we move on to the first
124. 4:19>> Resident Evil
125. 4:26Chris Redfield [music]
126. 4:28>> Oh my god. Spanish, did you put in the
127. 4:30real person for like should she
128. 4:31>> [laughter]
129. 4:32>> Is this what Chris used to look like?
130. 4:34Why is there an IRL person here? Who put
131. 4:37like the real person here next to the
132. 4:39anime avatar?
133. 4:42The first game had a live-action
134. 4:43cutscene. Oh, I hate that. But like
135. 4:45here's the thing about Chris, right? Wow
136. 4:46in druthers on the live-action version.
137. 4:48But like the anime version is pretty
138. 4:50charming. He started out so scrappy and
139. 4:53now he's like a rock-punching god. Also,
140. 4:56Chris is going to be in here like 20
141. 4:57times. I'm sorry. So we're going to see
142. 4:59the evolution of Chris Redfield. So
143. 5:00what's with the cigarette? Oh my god,
144. 5:02this was back when smoking was
145. 5:03considered like fashionable.
146. 5:05Uh editing team, scratch it out. Make it
147. 5:07a lollipop stick so YouTube doesn't get
148. 5:09mad at me. Dude, I love the OG Chris's
149. 5:12outfit. I love old-school artwork side
150. 5:14note because like you can tell that they
151. 5:15were just like starting to find their
152. 5:16footing in like the art style and design
153. 5:18for the franchise. So nowadays, we have
154. 5:21like a very like clear-cut like tactical
155. 5:23SWAT team vibe for a lot of the military
156. 5:26protag and like oh god for the not
157. 5:30military people, but that still kind of
158. 5:31like fits that urban setting. But this
159. 5:33is like aggressively '90s design for a
160. 5:35character. Still, Chris, you didn't
161. 5:38start off too strong though. I think
162. 5:40that Chris for me starts out at like a
163. 5:42seven. Let's see if he ages like fine
164. 5:44wine. Tell me why like the IRL version
165. 5:45doesn't look like the magician uncle
166. 5:47from like Arrested Development.
167. 5:48>> Jill Valentine
168. 5:51>> Oh, dude, Jill. I hate that there's IRL
169. 5:53people in this.
170. 5:54I like Jill, but I hate this outfit. But
171. 5:57your face is super cute. No, Jill is not
172. 6:00going to start off strong cuz like nice
173. 6:02body, but completely hidden by the weird
174. 6:05tactical clothing. Again, they they have
175. 6:06they hadn't found their footing quite
176. 6:07just yet, okay? Wait, she's got to have
177. 6:09a braid. No, the braid is actually cute.
178. 6:11It's the [ __ ] shoulder pads I have an
179. 6:12issue with. She's cute though, but I
180. 6:14would say that Jill doesn't start too
181. 6:15strong for me. Jill is probably like
182. 6:18I'm going to go five.
183. 6:20>> [laughter]
184. 6:22>> Rebecca Chambers
185. 6:23>> And then we have Rebecca again. Dude, I
186. 6:25love her. Is this the one that Wesker
187. 6:27attributed to because like yeah, I get
188. 6:29it. She's so cute.
189. 6:32I like the headband. It's a nice little
190. 6:33addition. She looks a little bit less
191. 6:34like a medic in this one, but it's
192. 6:36interesting to see the difference
193. 6:37between like the anime artwork and the
194. 6:41old stuff from like Resident Evil 0. And
195. 6:44the IRL [ __ ] like picture is just
196. 6:46[ __ ] sending me. I'm sorry. She's
197. 6:47really cute though. She looks very young
198. 6:50in this though. I think it's the anime
199. 6:52because like the the live-action one
200. 6:53does look like a grown-ass woman. It's
201. 6:55not that Becca seems young. [music]
202. 6:57She's 18 in RE1. What? Someone said that
203. 6:59she graduated college early, which is
204. 7:01pretty cool. She's so adorable. I think
205. 7:03that Becca's rating stays the same.
206. 7:05Yeah, she's like an eight.
207. 7:09Oh my god, you're so douchey.
208. 7:13All right, now we're doing the RE1
209. 7:14remake.
210. 7:15>> Practice makes perfect.
211. 7:17>> Chris,
212. 7:18you look depressed, baby boo.
213. 7:22I like it though cuz he still has the
214. 7:24same outfit as before, but it feels a
215. 7:25lot more tactical. He He does have a
216. 7:27nice face. He is kind of mogging a
217. 7:28little bit. I think that Chris in this
218. 7:30version rates a little bit higher than
219. 7:32the first game. I would put this one at
220. 7:35like almost eight. He needs a little bit
221. 7:37more swag, chat. A little more rizz.
222. 7:40>> Talking to yourself? You all right?
223. 7:43What's gotten into you?
224. 7:45>> Jill's better.
225. 7:46>> Like she still has like her tactical
226. 7:48shoulders and her beret and [ __ ] but
227. 7:50like now it actually feels like a
228. 7:51uniform as opposed to like a weird
229. 7:53Halloween costume. I also like that we
230. 7:55can see a little bit more of her hair. I
231. 7:56love the combat boots, too. I like the
232. 7:58harness under the boobas that like lift
233. 8:00them up nicely, though. I think that
234. 8:02Jill in this version is she went from
235. 8:03like a five to like a seven. Solid, very
236. 8:06very solid character design. Miss
237. 8:08sandwich. Why miss sandwich? If you play
238. 8:11you'll get it. Oh, not in the sexy way,
239. 8:13right? Like in the Resident Evil puzzle
240. 8:15way, right?
241. 8:15>> Hey, what's going on?
242. 8:17>> Oh, no.
243. 8:18>> What happened?
244. 8:20>> Barry, help me, please.
245. 8:21>> Oh, this was before voice acting was not
246. 8:23a priority.
247. 8:25>> Stay away from the door, Jill. I'm going
248. 8:27to kick this door down.
249. 8:28>> Kick it down.
250. 8:30Run.
251. 8:31>> Hurry, this way.
252. 8:34>> Oh, Barry.
253. 8:36>> That was too close.
254. 8:38You were almost a Jill sandwich.
255. 8:41>> Oh, god. You're right.
256. 8:42Barry, thanks for saving my life.
257. 8:44>> I love the PS1 graphics cuz she has big
258. 8:46booty.
259. 8:48>> Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
260. 8:50>> Oh, she's so cute.
261. 8:53You maintain your eight status cuz this
262. 8:55is like a very similar design to the old
263. 8:57ones. You haven't changed that much.
264. 8:59It's just such an adorable character.
265. 9:01Holy [ __ ] Like look at her little face.
266. 9:03A precious bean. Please don't let a
267. 9:05zombie bite out your jugular. Like I
268. 9:07feel this character's death in my bones.
269. 9:09Like I hope she's okay, but like I would
270. 9:12also not be surprised at all if she
271. 9:14[ __ ] dies. I have been informed by
272. 9:15the lore master, also known as hubby,
273. 9:17that the backgrounds in the remake for
274. 9:19RE1 were pre-rendered cuz they had fixed
275. 9:21cameras, so they looked much better than
276. 9:23the rest of the graphics in the game.
277. 9:24That's actually a good workaround to
278. 9:26that limitation, actually.
279. 9:27>> I'm trying to find my boyfriend. His
280. 9:30name's Leon.
281. 9:31>> You have seen better days. Ada, you
282. 9:33don't look Chinese here. What's going
283. 9:34on?
284. 9:35Leon was thirsting after this. How about
285. 9:37did Leon look at the original? Oh, ew,
286. 9:40she's wearing leggings and a dress and
287. 9:42like NO SOCKS. EW!
288. 9:44>> [screaming]
289. 9:46>> THIS ADA IS LIKE A FOUR.
290. 9:47>> DON'T WASTE my time.
291. 9:49>> You guys don't get it. I'm used to
292. 9:50seeing that Chinese [ __ ] batty. Like,
293. 9:53I'm used to seeing Ada [ __ ] serve
294. 9:56Leon and take no prisoners. And this one
295. 9:58is a prisoner. If you don't want to lose
296. 10:00your Asianness, go try out G Supps.
297. 10:02It'll give you back right your energy
298. 10:03right back. It'll It'll pre- render you
299. 10:05into like whatever beautiful self you
300. 10:07want to be. Use code KikiNation at
301. 10:09checkout, mama.
302. 10:10>> Oh, you're finally awake.
303. 10:12>> Claire, your eggs are dying. Okay, no,
304. 10:15Claire looks pretty cute. The outfit is
305. 10:16Street Fighter nonsense. Like,
306. 10:18Okay. Okay, hear me out. You're in
307. 10:20Raccoon City, right? [ __ ] overrun by
308. 10:22zombies. Like, they could bite you and
309. 10:24turn you into one of them. Why are you
310. 10:26bare-legged? Like, wear tactical pants
311. 10:28or something. Like, baby girl. Oh, like
312. 10:31dude, the PS1 was not a good time. Not
313. 10:33Not It was not It was not the era that
314. 10:35we wanted for like out for fashion,
315. 10:37okay? I love her face. Really, she
316. 10:39didn't [ __ ] know there were zombies.
317. 10:40Oh, right. Not everybody knew.
318. 10:42>> [laughter]
319. 10:42>> No one knew. He was driving a
320. 10:44motorcycle. Wait, you're driving a
321. 10:45motorcycle with bare legs? What's wrong
322. 10:47with you? If you fall off, you're going
323. 10:48to [ __ ] scrape off your entire
324. 10:49kneecap. Is this a bodysuit? It's a
325. 10:51bodysuit and then on top of it, it's
326. 10:53like [ __ ] short shorts and a vest. She
327. 10:56doesn't look very tactical, but it's
328. 10:58very pink. I like her face, though. I
329. 11:00think five.
330. 11:01>> [laughter]
331. 11:03>> Someone tried to kill me.
332. 11:05Nearly succeeded, too.
333. 11:07>> I don't know what to think.
334. 11:10On the one hand,
335. 11:12>> your face is perfect.
336. 11:13>> On the other hand, what is he wearing?
337. 11:16Is it very obvious to everybody that
338. 11:18most of us have only seen RE2 from the
339. 11:19remake? He looks like he's getting his
340. 11:22high school picture taken and he's so
341. 11:24nervous. He's still pretty, but the
342. 11:28outfit is so bad.
343. 11:30Short-sleeve RPD with the long sleeves
344. 11:33underneath and the [ __ ] sweatpants
345. 11:36instead of like normal tactical pants.
346. 11:38Like,
347. 11:39and you're probably going to get a glow
348. 11:40up in other games, but like right now
349. 11:41you get a five, baby boy.
350. 11:44>> But there's something out there and it's
351. 11:46coming after me.
352. 11:47>> A baby. Yeah, I'm not ranking you on the
353. 11:49hotness scale cuz you're widdle, so
354. 11:50you're on the cute scale. On the cute
355. 11:51scale, you're very cute. I would say
356. 11:53eight for cuteness. The outfit is so
357. 11:55adorable. I did not know that there was
358. 11:57like a child in this game. I've actually
359. 11:58never played RE2, so this is completely
360. 12:00new to me. Should I play the remake? I
361. 12:01should I should I should I should I
362. 12:01probably I should at some point. I like
363. 12:03this outfit though. Like, I would expect
364. 12:05a skirt with an outfit like this, but I
365. 12:06think that the shorts are better for
366. 12:07like mobility if she's going to be like
367. 12:10running around and stuff. The locket is
368. 12:11really cute, too. She's a very cute
369. 12:13child.
370. 12:14>> The Resident Evil 2 models don't do the
371. 12:16concept justice. They had so much aura.
372. 12:19>> I mean, I'll believe it when I see it
373. 12:20cuz I think it's time for the remake.
374. 12:23>> I'm just impressed you made it in one
375. 12:24piece.
376. 12:25>> Oh, yeah.
377. 12:27This is the [ __ ] baddie we KNOW AND
378. 12:29LOVE.
379. 12:30THIS ADA IS UH, STILL vaguely Asian, but
380. 12:33definitely more Chinese than the OG.
381. 12:36I think this design actually got a lot
382. 12:38of flak back in the day because they
383. 12:40were like, "Why is she in like a
384. 12:42cocktail dress and tights and heels?"
385. 12:44It's like,
386. 12:44>> Stop asking questions and get the hell
387. 12:46out of here.
388. 12:46>> What, a girl can't go to a party in
389. 12:48while a zombie apocalypse [ __ ] breaks
390. 12:49out? The outfit is much better. She
391. 12:51looks much nicer in this. She'll run in
392. 12:54those heels. She will kick you in the
393. 12:55face in those heels. She will step into
394. 12:57your eyeball with those heels and you
395. 12:58will thank her, okay? This woman
396. 13:01single-handedly ruined one of the most
397. 13:03attractive men in gaming.
398. 13:05>> Cut the [ __ ]
399. 13:06>> And if you are in team Ada, he married
400. 13:08that baddie. But I am in team uh, baby
401. 13:11eagle. So like, or married both, who
402. 13:13cares? You can be married to two people.
403. 13:14I don't give a [ __ ] Like, yeah, like so
404. 13:15this look for Ada, I actually do like it
405. 13:17because if you think about it, most
406. 13:19people were not super in the know about
407. 13:21the zombie thing. Although Ada, I think
408. 13:23is a little bit more insider knowledge
409. 13:24than most people. It's also kind of
410. 13:25giving spy, which is kind of Ada's deal,
411. 13:28you know. Hair is much better, face is
412. 13:30much better. This Ada, I think I'm going
413. 13:33to give you a nine on just like the
414. 13:34sheer scale of like aura farming but
415. 13:37sexy and just how bad you ruined Leon.
416. 13:39Like look at her face, she's so pretty.
417. 13:40Still not quite that Chinese but ALMOST
418. 13:43THERE.
419. 13:43>> [ __ ] HELL!
420. 13:44>> YOUR EGGS ARE STILL DYING. She has two
421. 13:46cats. Leon, please. Much better. Like I
422. 13:50love Claire in this cuz like I think
423. 13:52that this is actually the outfit someone
424. 13:54riding a motorcycle would wear. She is
425. 13:55hanging out in a motorcycle jacket, she
426. 13:57has her gun, she has like her little
427. 13:59boots, full [ __ ] jeans. She looks
428. 14:01like a civilian, she doesn't look like a
429. 14:02cop like Leon. But she looks like a
430. 14:04civilian who knows how to dress for the
431. 14:07occasion, which is riding a motorcycle.
432. 14:08I love the ponytail. Her face is
433. 14:10gorgeous, stunning. Also, I would say a
434. 14:12nine cuz she's serving, mama. And
435. 14:15because I really like this outfit. It's
436. 14:16just really, really cute. Okay, I think
437. 14:18nines and 10s deserve the like.
438. 14:20>> [bell]
439. 14:22>> For Ada as well.
440. 14:23>> WHAT THE [ __ ]
441. 14:25>> OH, much better.
442. 14:27He's getting a triangle because of the
443. 14:28[ __ ] future but like look at his
444. 14:30face. I love baby face Leon so much. And
445. 14:34now he actually looks like a cop. Now he
446. 14:36doesn't look like a guy in tactical
447. 14:38sweatpants cuz he's wearing the combat
448. 14:40boots, the bulletproof vest, he's
449. 14:41wearing like full gear like uh knee
450. 14:43pads. So Leon looks much better in this.
451. 14:45I prefer his Resident Evil 4 version
452. 14:48more than this one but I like seeing the
453. 14:50youthful face baby boy whose existence
454. 14:53got completely shattered. And not by the
455. 14:54zombies my dude but by Ada.
456. 14:55Pre-gigachad. Good job. Eight.
457. 14:59>> Fun fact, in old RE2, the reason why he
458. 15:02showed up late during the outbreak was
459. 15:03because his ex-girlfriend [music]
460. 15:05broke up with him causing him to get
461. 15:07drunk.
462. 15:07>> So he RE2 hungover?
463. 15:11>> Oh, I'm sorry.
464. 15:13>> Aw.
465. 15:15Okay, I like what they did with the
466. 15:16uniform. Like it still has the shorts
467. 15:19but like we gave it like a much nicer
468. 15:21private school feel. Very, very cute
469. 15:23medallion. I love her hair. Again, she
470. 15:25still remains an eight on the cuteness
471. 15:27factor. She's super cute and she looks
472. 15:29so sad. There's always like a random
473. 15:32child in these games, I feel. Let's move
474. 15:33on to RE3.
475. 15:34>> Calm down, lady. I'm no zombie.
476. 15:37>> Okay, you have to be Hispanic of some
477. 15:39sort cuz only a Hispanic man would open
478. 15:42his shirt that [ __ ] wide to go hunt
479. 15:44zombies.
480. 15:45Latino, yeah. Like, I'm sorry, but it's
481. 15:48right there. And he has like Latino
482. 15:50swagger, too. You can see it in his
483. 15:52face. He rolled up the sleeves to show
484. 15:54off how jacked he is, chat. God, please
485. 15:56end me. Look at his watch. Oh my god,
486. 15:59it's gigantic. To me, like his face is
487. 16:01very pretty. Why is he like giving blue
488. 16:03steel? Carlos, I think seven for me. Cuz
489. 16:06like, you have to appreciate the [ __ ]
490. 16:08Latin swagger. Jill is back.
491. 16:10>> You want stars?
492. 16:12I'll give you stars.
493. 16:13>> Why did they yes-ify you? I'm guessing
494. 16:16she's a civilian in this game and not a
495. 16:17cop cuz she's not dressed in her usual
496. 16:21cop attire. She's very cute, though.
497. 16:24Like, I like the fit and I love her
498. 16:26face. She still has like the bob. I
499. 16:28would say Jill is an eight for me in
500. 16:29this. She's serving.
501. 16:31Kind of got suspended from the police
502. 16:32force. Why? Was she making Jill
503. 16:35sandwiches?
504. 16:36>> RE3 starts [music] with Jill at home
505. 16:38when the outbreak starts, so she's not
506. 16:40dressed for action because she wasn't
507. 16:42expecting any.
508. 16:43>> So like, she was just wearing a tube top
509. 16:45and a and a and a jean mini for no good
510. 16:47reason. Got it. Thank you. Now, RE3 does
511. 16:50have a remake, so let's see the remake
512. 16:51designs.
513. 16:52Empezamos con Carlos.
514. 16:54>> Nice job, super cop. I'm impressed.
515. 16:57>> Wait, guapísimo.
516. 16:59No, he looks more Latino somehow now.
517. 17:02Guapísimo. You know that like, you have
518. 17:04like a good like [ __ ] like Hispanic
519. 17:06man if he low-key looks Asian. Cuz for
520. 17:08some reason, a lot of Mexican people,
521. 17:10and I'm not joking, like their nickname
522. 17:13el chino because like, they low-key look
523. 17:14kind of Asian. I knew so many people
524. 17:16like this. Here's a thing that makes
525. 17:18this dude a Latino from a Latina. One,
526. 17:21scraggly hair. You cannot get away from
527. 17:23the scraggly black hair, ever. Two, you
528. 17:25can't tell if he's tan or is he white?
529. 17:27Doesn't matter, everybody's mixed, okay?
530. 17:28We don't give a [ __ ] Three, the eyes
531. 17:31are almost [ __ ] like low-key look
532. 17:33Asian, no problem, big eyebrows. Four,
533. 17:36we cannot get a [ __ ] neat beard to
534. 17:37save our [ __ ] life. It's the barbitos
535. 17:40de Cantinflas or nothing. Yeah, and like
536. 17:42in terms of like guy hotness, you're a
537. 17:43nine, Carlitos. YEAH! [screaming]
538. 17:47CARLOS! And he looks so much better,
539. 17:49like much more tactical in this, a great
540. 17:51outfit. I kind of miss the like open
541. 17:53shirt V-neck, like oh, camisa rosa. But
542. 17:56like I also kind of like the muscle
543. 17:58shirt, too. And his arms look way more
544. 18:01ripped. He looks less cocky in this, but
545. 18:02like very pretty.
546. 18:04>> YOU WANT STARS? I'LL GIVE YOU STARS.
547. 18:07>> OKAY, this definitely looks like a fit
548. 18:08that you would be wearing in your
549. 18:09apartment more than like the jean mini
550. 18:10with boots, but it's still sexy, though.
551. 18:12It's still good. I like her hair so
552. 18:14much. She has a great face. Yeah, Jill,
553. 18:17you're still an eight for me. I like
554. 18:18that they kept her original color
555. 18:19scheme, but I do like that like this
556. 18:21outfit implies that she had some
557. 18:23tactical gear left in her house, and
558. 18:25[music] as soon as she heard like a
559. 18:25disturbance, she geared the [ __ ] up.
560. 18:27Which I like for her, you know? You
561. 18:29don't understand how many people hated
562. 18:30this outfit because of her wearing
563. 18:31pants. It's more practical.
564. 18:33As someone who used to own several jean
565. 18:35mini skirts like that, that's not a
566. 18:37stay-at-home outfit. That is a
567. 18:39date-night outfit, okay? And especially
568. 18:41not a tube top. Mama, if you are at
569. 18:44home, that bra is coming off, and those
570. 18:47sweatpants are right the [ __ ] on, mama.
571. 18:49I'm sorry, but like I would not wear the
572. 18:51tube top and jean mini skirt in the
573. 18:53zombie apocalypse. If I was hanging out
574. 18:54at home, I would be hanging out in like
575. 18:55jeans and a tank top, dead ass. So, I I
576. 18:56don't think anybody had a personal
577. 18:58vendetta against the OG design, cuz
578. 18:59she's still stunning. They were just
579. 19:01thinking about, same with Claire,
580. 19:02practicality. People all hated her
581. 19:04facial model, they called her ugly as
582. 19:05hell. Let me say something about the
583. 19:06facial models, okay? So, the reason why
584. 19:09a lot of people have been having issues
585. 19:11with the facial models for video games
586. 19:13nowadays is because back in the day we
587. 19:15did not have like facial mocap the way
588. 19:18that we do now.
589. 19:19Nowadays, a lot of characters in video
590. 19:21games are based off real people, real
591. 19:24models. Aloy being a good example for
592. 19:26it. Before that though, we could not
593. 19:29scan faces the way that we do now. So,
594. 19:31they had to model these from scratch.
595. 19:33So, normally the faces were a lot more
596. 19:36like conventionally attractive because
597. 19:38that was the model they had to go off
598. 19:40and they had to make them by themselves.
599. 19:41Nowadays, we can scan faces. So, which
600. 19:43means we can get a lot more range in
601. 19:45facial features. It also makes it look
602. 19:47more realistic and to some people
603. 19:49[music]
604. 19:50who only really want to see anime titty,
605. 19:52realistic equals bad. That still being
606. 19:54said, there's still some stylization in
607. 19:57Capcom. No one has eyes as big as
608. 19:59[ __ ] like Ashley for example and no
609. 20:01one is as like [ __ ] attractive as
610. 20:03Leon is at 50. So, there's still
611. 20:04stylization here, but they're using real
612. 20:06people for models.
613. 20:08And that's why faces look so different
614. 20:10now and that's why people kind of like
615. 20:11[ __ ] about that. But, like to what
616. 20:13extent I get it because like if you go
617. 20:15from like the one that you were used to
618. 20:17originally to the new one, it might be a
619. 20:18bit jarring.
620. 20:19I don't think it's like a gigantic deal,
621. 20:21but I get why some people might be like,
622. 20:22"Eh, I don't know." Okay, this next one
623. 20:24is called Code: Veronica, which I did
624. 20:26not know was a Resident Evil game. Chris
625. 20:28is back.
626. 20:29>> Wait.
627. 20:30You attacked the island.
628. 20:33And my sister.
629. 20:35>> No, Chris. Uh
630. 20:37I like his face, but the outfit is just
631. 20:40no.
632. 20:41Like the pants and uh
633. 20:44no, like this version of Chris is a six
634. 20:46for me cuz like his face is still very
635. 20:48attractive and I love his hair, but like
636. 20:50the outfit is bad. Bad Chris. No, not
637. 20:54yet. He's not a hottie yet.
638. 20:56>> What's wrong with Steve? Shoot him.
639. 20:58>> I do like this one for Claire, I think.
640. 21:00She looks cute. Not my favorite fashion
641. 21:02choice by far. Like I'm stunned into
642. 21:04silence at the [ __ ] fashion of old of
643. 21:06of the old RE games. Face is still very
644. 21:09pretty.
645. 21:10Hair is much shorter. I like how she's
646. 21:12handling them guns. I would say this one
647. 21:14is a seven for me cuz I don't love the
648. 21:16outfit.
649. 21:17And this next one's called Steve
650. 21:18Burnside. Oh boy.
651. 21:23Yeah, you look like a Steve Burnside.
652. 21:24You know, like the hair is aggressively
653. 21:26twinky. Is that a Is that Are his guns
654. 21:29gold? Are his guns No, he's not wearing
655. 21:33like Yakuza style [ __ ] like Oh my
656. 21:35god, what in the hot topic is this?
657. 21:39What the [ __ ] are these? Like dragon
658. 21:41pants?
659. 21:42This is aggressively early 2000. [music]
660. 21:44Is that a bomb It's a like a little gay
661. 21:47choker. I love it. Like what the hell is
662. 21:48the outfit? The golden guns are giving
663. 21:50me more boss. He's that tacky. This is
664. 21:52the tackiest design I've ever seen. And
665. 21:55like we've seen some tacky He was a
666. 21:56whiny baby.
667. 21:59>> [screaming]
668. 22:06>> I mean, the chat immediately popped off,
669. 22:08so I guess yeah, no. Steve, what is
670. 22:10this? I've never rated anybody lower
671. 22:12than a five in Resident Evil, but you're
672. 22:14a three. Cuz yeah, that [ __ ] fashion
673. 22:16sense is atrocious,
674. 22:18mama. Disgusting. Far Reaching.
675. 22:21>> The next RE remake is rumored to be
676. 22:23Code: Veronica.
677. 22:25>> Oh god, please please fix this
678. 22:26character. Please fix him. I think he
679. 22:28needs it desperately. Thank you. Next
680. 22:30we're moving on to RE4. We all know this
681. 22:32one. I played this one. I played the
682. 22:33REMAKE SCREAMING.
683. 22:35NO. NO. NO.
684. 22:37ASHLEY.
685. 22:39>> HELP ME, LEON.
686. 22:40>> SO, Ashley's not exactly playable. Well,
687. 22:43she is actually in a big in a section of
688. 22:45the game. This is the original
689. 22:46ballistics, okay? The only thing I know
690. 22:48about Ashley going in is that you could
691. 22:50put her in dumpsters.
692. 22:51Now, Ashley's really cute. I think that
693. 22:54she has an adorable face. She's very
694. 22:55mousy, big ears, adorable character.
695. 22:58Like the cutest [ __ ] thing on the
696. 22:59planet. Ashley for me is a nine
697. 23:03cuz look at baby girl.
698. 23:05>> [bell]
699. 23:06>> She's so brave and she's so cute and her
700. 23:08outfit is like super Scooby-Doo coded.
701. 23:10And I think this one was the one that
702. 23:11was like voiced by the Sandy Cheeks
703. 23:13actress. So like that's why the door's
704. 23:14locked. I can't open it. Yeah, Ashley's
705. 23:16sweet but like apparently she was way
706. 23:18more annoying in the OG Resident Evil.
707. 23:21Four.
708. 23:24>> [screaming]
709. 23:24>> And then we have Daddy.
710. 23:27>> No thanks, bro.
711. 23:30>> A nine.
712. 23:33This [bell] is like PTSD [ __ ] special
713. 23:36ops Leon over here showing up to like
714. 23:38the beautiful land of Espana to take
715. 23:40back the baby eagle. The $2,000
716. 23:43trench coat. Excuse you, this is a
717. 23:45sheepskin coat, mama. Not even a coat,
718. 23:47it's a jacket. Cuz like underneath that
719. 23:49amazing jacket, he's wearing like the
720. 23:51tightest shirt you could ever imagine in
721. 23:53your life. This is Leon in his peak.
722. 23:55This is like Leon in like what? Like
723. 23:5720-something?
724. 23:59No longer as baby. We've been through
725. 24:01some tactical training. We've hashed it
726. 24:02out with Chris. He's begged me to
727. 24:03[ __ ] impregnate his sister like 50
728. 24:05times. But we're besties. Like yeah,
729. 24:08this is this is
730. 24:09Leon mastery.
731. 24:12Okay, now we move on to the remake. My
732. 24:14first Resident EVIL GAME.
733. 24:20HIGH SCORE, HERE WE COME. May I just say
734. 24:22a 10 out of 10.
735. 24:22>> You're a legend, mate.
736. 24:25>> My first Resident Evil game and this
737. 24:27redesign for Ashley was perfection. It's
738. 24:29still aggressively Scooby-Doo coded, but
739. 24:31it fits the setting so much better. It's
740. 24:33cold in the part of Spain that they were
741. 24:34in, okay? Even in the summer. Hair
742. 24:37flawless. Eyes gigantic. They hid the
743. 24:39ears. Lips plumpy and adorable. A lot of
744. 24:43people didn't like this redesign cuz
745. 24:44they were like, "Oh my god, what
746. 24:45happened to the boobs?" They're still
747. 24:46there, mama. When you're wearing a
748. 24:47blazer, your boobs don't go nowhere.
749. 24:49They just get kind of like hidden. This
750. 24:50this design is perfection. I love this
751. 24:52for Ashley. I ship it with Leon until
752. 24:54the end of my days. They're adorable
753. 24:56together.
754. 24:57She looks like 20. She's in college, so
755. 24:58she's in her 20s at least, yeah. I
756. 25:00really like what they did with her face
757. 25:02in the remake for four cuz she looks so
758. 25:04cute, borderline anime. And she does
759. 25:07actually have an IRL model. Yes, she
760. 25:08does. They just stylized it more, which
761. 25:10is what I think you should do.
762. 25:11>> Just give me a heads-up before you stab
763. 25:13me next time, OKAY?
764. 25:14>> MAD ANIMAL! THIS IS THE FIRST ONE. LEON
765. 25:17stays a 10 out of 10 from now on, by the
766. 25:18way.
767. 25:19>> You're a legend, mate.
768. 25:21>> And I'm not just biased cuz it was my
769. 25:22first Resident Evil game. He's kept that
770. 25:23[ __ ] hairline till the new game. He
771. 25:26got [ __ ] like implants in his head
772. 25:29before he started losing anything. They
773. 25:31had the his curly pop took care of it.
774. 25:32Mugging
775. 25:34the [ __ ] out of everybody. Look at that
776. 25:36chiseled [ __ ] jawline, the side
777. 25:39bangs, the [ __ ] blue eyes, pouty
778. 25:42expression. Like, Ada, how the [ __ ]
779. 25:43would you sleep on this? Ada, like, you
780. 25:46see this
781. 25:48and you don't immediately [ __ ] get on
782. 25:49that [ __ ] dick. He's been salivating
783. 25:51for you for like
784. 25:53ages, dude. He loves your [ __ ] stupid
785. 25:56yeeyee ass and you're like, "Nah, not
786. 25:58for me." Ashley's going to steal him
787. 26:00from you. Will you be playing RE 4 to
788. 26:02get Leon? I will overcome my fears from
789. 26:04the Grace segment so I can look at Leon.
790. 26:06Yeah, probably. Like, I'll have Hobby
791. 26:08with me and if it gets too scary, I'll
792. 26:09hand him Grace and I'll play Leon. [ __ ]
793. 26:11it. I want to cut down zombies as like
794. 26:12daddy. Like, it's just perfection, 10
795. 26:14out of 10. The [ __ ] stupid sheepskin
796. 26:16coat, they made it leather now. The
797. 26:18still tight muscle shirt, the the the
798. 26:20[ __ ] harnesses on the legs, gone,
799. 26:22gloves, uh, god, stop. I don't know a
800. 26:24single woman that doesn't think that
801. 26:25Leon Kennedy is attractive. And that
802. 26:27means they did a good job. I'VE SEEN
803. 26:29THAT LEON TRAM STAMP MOD. PUT IT IN THE
804. 26:31VIDEO. DUDE, I would have Leon Kennedy
805. 26:32as my house husband. I don't give a
806. 26:33[ __ ]
807. 26:34>> Ashley bought the Porsche for her
808. 26:36husband {slash} daddy.
809. 26:37>> YEAH, NO. I'M SORRY, BUT LIKE, if you
810. 26:40read between the lines, he married
811. 26:41Ashley. Perfect hairline, designer
812. 26:43clothes, Porsche. That is [ __ ] Ashley
813. 26:46Kennedy.
814. 26:46>> The movies, not the live-action ones, at
815. 26:49least establish that Leon and Ada have
816. 26:51gone on dates, so there's that.
817. 26:53>> I mean, that's nice. Yeah. Okay, RE5,
818. 26:56let's go. Chris is back.
819. 26:58>> SHEVA, HURRY.
820. 27:00COME ON. COME ON. HURRY.
821. 27:02>> SHEVA.
822. 27:03>> YES, who is back?
823. 27:04Back again.
824. 27:06Rock puncher is back. Tell that friend
825. 27:08this is the one where he punched a rock,
826. 27:09right? Cuz those arms are jacked. This
827. 27:11is when like the point that hubby told
828. 27:12me that Resident Evil went from spooky
829. 27:14scary to what the [ __ ] is this? This is
830. 27:16I like this. This Chris I like. This
831. 27:18Chris I'm attracted to. This Chris is a
832. 27:19nine on the luly scale because that
833. 27:21Dorito body
834. 27:24Also like oh oh the hair is messier, the
835. 27:27shirt is tighter, and like he looks on
836. 27:29like he's on a mission, mama. Ooh, good
837. 27:32job, Chris. Sexy.
838. 27:34Next is Sheva. I can Am I finally going
839. 27:35to see what Sheva looks like outside of
840. 27:37that meme?
841. 27:38>> Looks like Tomb Raider.
842. 27:39>> That's weird.
843. 27:40>> Something's
844. 27:42not right.
845. 27:43>> Oh, I get it. Why would you mod this for
846. 27:45Lara Croft?
847. 27:46>> Did you put a [ __ ] mod in this?
848. 27:48>> No.
849. 27:48>> SHE'S SO SEXY, THOUGH. NINE.
850. 27:52And like the [ __ ] lesbian in me, I
851. 27:55don't know why, chat. The fact that she
852. 27:58looks like she's just been through hell
853. 27:59and back makes it hotter to me for some
854. 28:01reason. Wait, that's not Sheva?
855. 28:04Hubby's laughing at me. What's wrong
856. 28:06with you?
857. 28:07That's Lara Croft. WHY IS THIS IN IT?
858. 28:08SPANISH?
859. 28:10IF THE NEXT ONE ISN'T [ __ ] master
860. 28:12chief, I'm going to lose my [ __ ] The
861. 28:13[ __ ] of your husband laughing
862. 28:15because it wasn't me. Wait, did you did
863. 28:17that? You suck. I was like [ __ ] like
864. 28:20lezzing out and like I love you, but
865. 28:22like that was a great bit. How dare you
866. 28:24set me up like this, you absolute piece
867. 28:26of [ __ ] of a person. Show me the real
868. 28:28Sheva, you [ __ ]
869. 28:31>> Welcome to Africa.
870. 28:32>> I don't recant my statement. She's still
871. 28:34a nine. Like god, she's hot. Okay, yeah,
872. 28:37I could tell why the dude could tell
873. 28:38immediately it wasn't Sheva. Like the
874. 28:39skin tone is completely different. Like
875. 28:41the guy was like, "That's not That's not
876. 28:43Sheva." Just say it's not black, dude.
877. 28:44Like she's so hot, though. Dude, the
878. 28:48tactical pants are a vibe, but then like
879. 28:49the like lavender silk shirt is just
880. 28:51everything. Tattoo is lovely, [music] by
881. 28:53the way. And this one's fun, cuz it's
882. 28:55one of those designs that it's like sexy
883. 28:56and campy, but it's still functional.
884. 29:00I see, I'm going to go poke my husband's
885. 29:02eye out. Excuse me. Like, you know who
886. 29:04would never set you up like this? You
887. 29:05know who would never betray you? Chat.
888. 29:08Gamer Supps. So, my my [ __ ] trash rat
889. 29:11of a husband It's delicious. Energizing.
890. 29:15Focus. Absolute [ __ ] hydration, as
891. 29:18well. Sugar-free, keto-friendly. Like 40
892. 29:21cents a serving, chat. There's so many
893. 29:23flavors. And if caffeine is ooky spooky,
894. 29:25then you can try the caffeine-free
895. 29:27versions, which are the ones that I
896. 29:28personally swear by, cuz they're
897. 29:29delicious. And also, AFK, if do you have
898. 29:32trouble sleeping? Do you have a rat
899. 29:33husband that you need to [ __ ] put
900. 29:35down? Yeah, AFK's got you, boo. I just
901. 29:37got a brand new gigantic tub of the
902. 29:39brand new flavors, and I'm going to give
903. 29:41some to my husband, so he will go to bed
904. 29:43instead of playing
905. 29:45Scott Pilgrim when I'm trying to sleep,
906. 29:46all right? Check out
907. 29:47gamersupps.gg/kinknation.
908. 29:49Or use code kinknation at checkout for
909. 29:5010% off your entire order. All right.
910. 29:53She's a hot. Who's next? If it's Master
911. 29:54Chief, I'm going to kill you.
912. 29:57Oh, wait. No, this one's called
913. 29:57Revelations. More Chris. Can you get any
914. 30:00buffer?
915. 30:01>> You should have worn your thermal
916. 30:02underwear.
917. 30:03>> Yes, he can. Okay, like at some point
918. 30:04he's going to explode out of his shirt.
919. 30:06Like, still a nine. Still a nine.
920. 30:10Spin-off, but still considered main
921. 30:11story. Weird. It's like before RE5.
922. 30:14Interesting. Okay. Like, he still looks
923. 30:16like he's going to burst out of his
924. 30:17shirt. I like it. Jill! Jill is back.
925. 30:20>> Don't worry. I've done this before.
926. 30:22>> Nine.
927. 30:24Longer hair, but still like keeps the
928. 30:26silhouette with like the bob. Gorgeous
929. 30:28[ __ ] bodysuit, very tactical, but
930. 30:30still very sexy. And I love all her
931. 30:32equipment. This is a very good Jill,
932. 30:34yeah. Oh, dude, the [ __ ] titty being
933. 30:36held up by the by the belt strap is just
934. 30:39chef's kiss.
935. 30:39>> I hate snow.
936. 30:42>> Shh, snow hates you.
937. 30:44>> No, I don't like you. Zero out of 10.
938. 30:47This is like insane meth head energy.
939. 30:51He looks like he's high on something,
940. 30:53chat. It's not life. Not a fan favorite.
941. 30:55Now everybody in CHAT IS LIKE
942. 30:58>> THIS EXPLAINS our missing crew.
943. 31:00>> You know what? I would give this one an
944. 31:03eight cuz I like the swagger. He's aura
945. 31:05farming. Does he have a perfect maxilla?
946. 31:07No, but he's [ __ ] owns his [ __ ] He's
947. 31:09a confident dude. He's kinda cute. He
948. 31:12has like Italian rizz. I like the crotch
949. 31:14straps. Revelations two They made two of
950. 31:16these?
951. 31:18>> [sighs]
952. 31:19>> End of the line.
953. 31:20>> Barry Burton. Love the uniform. He looks
954. 31:23like he's been in a minefield and a
955. 31:24half. Yeah, I can see it with Barry.
956. 31:26Also an eight to me. The face is lovely.
957. 31:28This was the Jill sandwich. Oh, was this
958. 31:30the guy who saved Jill from an untimely
959. 31:31fate? Okay, I like Barry. Tactical dad
960. 31:34bod. This is a tactical dad bod.
961. 31:36Objectively, that is exactly what this
962. 31:38is. Good job because like Yeah, tactical
963. 31:41dad bod. A 10 out of 10 description. No
964. 31:43notes.
965. 31:43>> Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
966. 31:45>> I like Claire because like they're
967. 31:47making her feel more and more and more
968. 31:48like she would write a country song
969. 31:49while beating up a zombie in every
970. 31:51single iteration that she's in. Claire
971. 31:53is like aggressive country gal energy.
972. 31:56Canonical woman refer to this.
973. 31:59Your eggs are dying.
974. 32:02But she's so cute though. I would give
975. 32:04this Claire an eight cuz I don't like
976. 32:07her face that much in this one. But like
977. 32:08it's still pretty.
978. 32:10Okay, this one's called Moira Burton.
979. 32:11I'm assuming this is Barry's kid cuz
980. 32:13same last name. Jeez, Graham, get it
981. 32:15together. Okay, but like I love the goth
982. 32:17aesthetic. Dude, I had an outfit like
983. 32:19this like the few times I went clubbing.
984. 32:22Like the jean shorts with like the skirt
985. 32:23like the tights and like the combat
986. 32:25boots and like the jacket. That's pretty
987. 32:26cute. This This has to be Barry's kid,
988. 32:29right? She's kinda cute. Yeah, oh she
989. 32:30looks like Grace. She's terrified. Dude,
990. 32:32like the long t-shirt with like the
991. 32:34hoodie the hoodie jacket and the super
992. 32:37short short shorts are a vibe. This one
993. 32:38also gets an eight from me. Very solid
994. 32:41outfit, I think. But, there's more
995. 32:43attractive women in this. I do think so.
996. 32:46>> Nice to meet you, too.
997. 32:48>> A baby. I get cuteness scale for the
998. 32:50children. I don't like how slicked back
999. 32:52her hair is. She's a little bit too like
1000. 32:54The Shining coded. She's giving creepy
1001. 32:56little girl, so I'm going to give her
1002. 32:57like a seven on the cuteness scale
1003. 32:59because something about this child is
1004. 33:00ominous and I can't quite put my finger
1005. 33:01on it, so I don't want to know.
1006. 33:03Okay, RE6, let's go.
1007. 33:05>> It's always something with women.
1008. 33:07>> Am I allowed to say someone looks like
1009. 33:10Let's just say that you're American
1010. 33:11History X coded. Let's leave it at that,
1011. 33:12okay? Like
1012. 33:14This game no one likes it apparently,
1013. 33:16like I I I see it. Like I would say six
1014. 33:20six for me. I like the tactical gear,
1015. 33:23but I don't love his face. I think that
1016. 33:25it's a little bit too
1017. 33:27edgy for no reason. Ada's back!
1018. 33:29>> Appreciate the gesture, but I'm a big
1019. 33:31girl.
1020. 33:32>> Do Okay, Shemir, this is a fire outfit.
1021. 33:35Love the pants, love the shirt. Let's
1022. 33:36see the face cuz that's the main thing I
1023. 33:37judge Ada by. Okay, good. Yeah, you look
1024. 33:39a little more Chinese in this. Well, no.
1025. 33:41I'm sorry, but like the remakes spoiled
1026. 33:43me on Ada's face cuz like they rounded
1027. 33:46it out more, her lips are fuller, and
1028. 33:48like her eyes look definitely more
1029. 33:50Asian. Like this is vaguely Asian. It's
1030. 33:51still a good design, but she doesn't
1031. 33:53look like an Ada Wong, mama. She looks
1032. 33:55just like an Ada. I like the bow,
1033. 33:56though. Before the RE4 remake, Capcom
1034. 33:58stuck to making non-white models for
1035. 33:59Ada. Yeah, yeah, you could tell that
1036. 34:01they probably have had a struggle bus
1037. 34:02with that because again, no models. I'm
1038. 34:04pretty sure that Ada has a model
1039. 34:06reference now. Ada wrong.
1040. 34:09It's not It's not so much the eyes cuz
1041. 34:11the people thinking that the only thing
1042. 34:12that makes someone Asian is like the
1043. 34:13eyes being a little bit more slit it
1044. 34:14out. No, no, it's also like the
1045. 34:16features. So, like you If you see like a
1046. 34:18Chinese person, you immediately notice
1047. 34:19that like their faces tend to be a
1048. 34:21little bit more rounded out. The eyes
1049. 34:22are obviously Asian, but they also have
1050. 34:25slightly wider noses. Okay? This nose
1051. 34:28for Ada is way too long and way too
1052. 34:30slim, and they also tend to have fuller
1053. 34:31lips for the most part. So, it's not
1054. 34:34just the eyes. It's like she her face
1055. 34:36looks very American. Not a bad design,
1056. 34:39mind you, but it's a six for me.
1057. 34:40>> too close.
1058. 34:42>> Chris is back again.
1059. 34:49Oh, Chris is getting to like dilf daddy
1060. 34:51status. Chris, you're a nine for me,
1061. 34:54even though this game doesn't exist,
1062. 34:55baby boy.
1063. 34:58Was he like 39 here? Yeah, he looks
1064. 34:59good. He grumpy, very grumpy. You'd be
1065. 35:02grumpy too if your sister's eggs were
1066. 35:03dying.
1067. 35:03>> I didn't bring any evidence, did you?
1068. 35:05>> Helena Harper.
1069. 35:07I'm guessing she's a civilian. I love
1070. 35:09the fit, mind you. The corduroy pants
1071. 35:11with like the vest is a vibe. But like
1072. 35:14regular woman. Yeah, regular woman
1073. 35:16woman. Very, very pretty. I'mma go say
1074. 35:18seven on this cuz I do like the outfit
1075. 35:20and I do like her face. She's like
1076. 35:22Leon's co-op partner in this game. Oh,
1077. 35:24okay, okay, okay, okay. Leon is in this
1078. 35:26game?
1079. 35:27>> It's either them or us, and they don't
1080. 35:29hesitate.
1081. 35:30>> Still hot. I like it though because he's
1082. 35:31like wearing like the shirt with the
1083. 35:34sleeves rolled up and then like the vest
1084. 35:36and the pads. Like this one is a nine
1085. 35:38cuz he's like a little bit more on the
1086. 35:39lean side, but still hot.
1087. 35:42Leon's still got it. He's so pretty.
1088. 35:45>> To tell you how bad Leon's campaign is,
1089. 35:48he's voiced by Matt Mercer and no one
1090. 35:50talks about it.
1091. 35:51>> He was? There's a lot of characters in
1092. 35:52six. What the [ __ ] Piers Nivans.
1093. 35:55>> It's where you belong.
1094. 35:56>> Okay, Piers is kind of hot. I like the
1095. 35:58military uniform. I like the scarf. I
1096. 36:00like the the the confidence in the
1097. 36:01posing is a lot, chat. We like that. I
1098. 36:04do like the vibe. There's swagger.
1099. 36:06Eight.
1100. 36:07There is good swagger here. You're no
1101. 36:08Leon, but there's good swagger here.
1102. 36:10This is Chris's partner. OH, OKAY.
1103. 36:14Yaoi boy.
1104. 36:16He was ETHAN BEFORE ETHAN. OH, WAIT, do
1105. 36:18people ship Ethan and like Chris? Sherry
1106. 36:20Birkin. Oh, wait, did you show up
1107. 36:22before? Sherry was like little. Are we
1108. 36:24still little now? It was the same thing
1109. 36:26I went through after Raccoon City.
1110. 36:28It was just as shitty the second time.
1111. 36:30Oh, she is. She grew up really cute.
1112. 36:32That's more like the Capcom face I'm
1113. 36:34used to seeing now. She's adorable. I
1114. 36:37love the hair. Very, very cute design.
1115. 36:39You know what? A.
1116. 36:39>> Welcome to the family, son.
1117. 36:41>> The cargo pants are cute and I like the
1118. 36:42scarf and I like the shirt and she looks
1119. 36:43cute. Okay, like a lot of characters
1120. 36:45came back for this one. What the [ __ ]
1121. 36:47Were they trying to make it like the
1122. 36:48Avengers? Like everyone is here almost
1123. 36:50and then it [ __ ] backfired massively?
1124. 36:51Four games at once. I know I believe
1125. 36:53that. Thank you.
1126. 36:54>> People ship Chris and Ethan because of
1127. 36:56how much Chris glaze Ethan and eats.
1128. 36:59>> Oh my god.
1129. 37:00Speaking of Ethan, we move on to RE7,
1130. 37:03which I think revived Resident Evil. RE7
1131. 37:06was when I first started getting
1132. 37:07interested in Resident Evil. I watched
1133. 37:09the Scary Game Squad play this game. I
1134. 37:11actually did not [ __ ] play this one
1135. 37:12myself. And uh I had a great time with
1136. 37:15it and it just kind of made me fall back
1137. 37:16in love with like the horror genre. We
1138. 37:18start with who the [ __ ] is this? Clancy
1139. 37:20Jarvis.
1140. 37:21>> Who in their right mind would make
1141. 37:22people do this [ __ ]
1142. 37:24>> OH, [screaming]
1143. 37:25RIGHT. CLANCY WAS PLAYABLE for like a
1144. 37:27very, very brief scene.
1145. 37:33>> [cheering]
1146. 37:34>> I think four out of 10.
1147. 37:36>> time.
1148. 37:38>> And then it's the boy, Ethan Winters.
1149. 37:40>> [music]
1150. 37:40>> Do you want to see my name in the
1151. 37:41obituaries?
1152. 37:42>> Baby boy. Babe, could we not get a
1153. 37:44better picture of Ethan? Right, so I
1154. 37:46think that most of RE7 is played in like
1155. 37:49first person.
1156. 37:51Ethan!
1157. 37:53He's fine. Assume Ethan is an attractive
1158. 37:55blonde dad because his kid is a [ __ ]
1159. 37:57blonde adorable baby. I really like that
1160. 38:00in Requiem you can pick between the two
1161. 38:02of them and I'm going to play in third
1162. 38:04person cuz I'm not playing in first
1163. 38:05[ __ ] save my life. Absolutely not.
1164. 38:06Ethan though, you want to know why
1165. 38:08Ethan's like a nine for me?
1166. 38:11Dad energy. Like the dilfy dad?
1167. 38:15They're like fellas, fellas. And ladies,
1168. 38:18if you're into it, ladies. Listen to me.
1169. 38:20Listen to advice from Mommy Lily, okay?
1170. 38:22Because like this is important. There is
1171. 38:24nothing more attractive to a woman than
1172. 38:26a capable man.
1173. 38:28Why do you think that women are
1174. 38:29attracted to dilfs? Why do you think
1175. 38:30that women are attracted to Leon
1176. 38:31Kennedy? A man that is capable, a man
1177. 38:33that can take care of himself and
1178. 38:34therefore help take care of you is the
1179. 38:36most attractive thing ever. Ethan going
1180. 38:39life and limb for his wife and then his
1181. 38:42baby
1182. 38:44is like the most attractive thing on the
1183. 38:45planet. I'm sorry. I love Ethan Winters.
1184. 38:47He's a great character. Ripping [ __ ]
1185. 38:49pieces, but like this man fought the
1186. 38:52Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a pistol, a
1187. 38:54dream, and hallucinating the entire way
1188. 38:56through to save his wife. And then HE
1189. 38:58GOT HER PREGNANT.
1190. 39:00IF THAT ISN'T A [ __ ] WINNER, I don't
1191. 39:02know what the [ __ ] is. That is capable.
1192. 39:05That is capable. [ __ ] mold baby. But
1193. 39:08like all these other [ __ ] are single.
1194. 39:10The only one out here actually [ __ ]
1195. 39:11reproducing, doing his god given [ __ ]
1196. 39:13job and using that ween is Ethan
1197. 39:15Winters. He's a [ __ ] kid to prove it
1198. 39:17who's probably going to be in like
1199. 39:18Resident Evil 10 or 11. Oh,
1200. 39:20>> Good news. I'm going to be coming home
1201. 39:21soon. Yay!
1202. 39:23>> Wifey. IT'S [ __ ] HER.
1203. 39:27MIA'S ACTUALLY really cute, but she's
1204. 39:29much cuter in like RE8 because Mia
1205. 39:32spends a decent chunk of RE7 looking
1206. 39:34like an absolute cokehead. So, Mia,
1207. 39:36you're like a six.
1208. 39:38>> too close.
1209. 39:38>> But like it's not your fault. It's not
1210. 39:40your fault. It's like the fault of your
1211. 39:42environment. Like all the gray hairs.
1212. 39:44Mia, I'm so sorry. Speaking of Mia,
1213. 39:47let's do Resident Evil 8. Chris is back.
1214. 39:50>> Sorry, Ethan.
1215. 39:52>> Daddy. Nine.
1216. 39:55Nine because you're not a dad. But like
1217. 39:58dude dude the trea- the coat the the the
1218. 40:01[ __ ] wool coat and that shirt that
1219. 40:04looks like it's going to just
1220. 40:06and like perfect beard, gloves, like dad
1221. 40:09like dilf energy.
1222. 40:12Ah. I'm so glad he got off the roids.
1223. 40:14He's natty, but like it's daddy natty,
1224. 40:16you know? Like ooh.
1225. 40:18How do his shoulders keep getting wider?
1226. 40:19It's Chris Redfield, what do you want?
1227. 40:21>> That boulder-punching [ __ ]
1228. 40:24>> And Ethan.
1229. 40:25>> Okay.
1230. 40:27Where to start?
1231. 40:28>> So, Ethan's not supposed to have a face,
1232. 40:30but it's okay cuz he's a dad on a
1233. 40:32mission and he's the sexiest man alive
1234. 40:33living alone. Is that a strong maxilla?
1235. 40:35No, but he mugged everybody because he
1236. 40:36actually [ __ ] Ethan, I love you and
1237. 40:39you will always be
1238. 40:41dearly remembered and beloved and you're
1239. 40:43the best, Ethan. We love a dad on a
1240. 40:46mission. Number one dad.
1241. 40:49>> You're a legend, mate.
1242. 40:50>> We're there, chat.
1243. 40:51>> What do I do?
1244. 40:52>> Baby.
1245. 40:53Okay, so for me Grace is when Resident
1246. 40:56Evil [music] finally perfected their
1247. 40:58face game because she has a real model,
1248. 41:01but her eyes are significantly bigger
1249. 41:03than a real person. She is adorable,
1250. 41:06normally wears glasses, and I I've heard
1251. 41:08her gameplay described as
1252. 41:11but like that makes sense. Look at her.
1253. 41:13She looks like Courage the Cowardly Dog.
1254. 41:15Like she looks like she's not meant to
1255. 41:17be in this situation in the slightest.
1256. 41:18Mama, baby girl is spooked out, scared.
1257. 41:21I would give this character design a
1258. 41:22nine though because she looks the part
1259. 41:24of like a spooked out civilian but has a
1260. 41:27tie to this [ __ ] whole mystery and
1261. 41:29she's doing her best, okay?
1262. 41:32Please don't spoil Requiem because I
1263. 41:34want to play it. I'm just waiting for a
1264. 41:36little bit longer before I do so I can
1265. 41:39like get over my fears. But like yeah,
1266. 41:41she's FBI but such but she's not like at
1267. 41:43the same level as like someone like Leon
1268. 41:45for example. She's not a field agent
1269. 41:47from what I remember in the trailers.
1270. 41:48Like they asked her to go in the field,
1271. 41:49she didn't really want to.
1272. 41:51Yeah, she's a very cute character. I
1273. 41:52love the jeans. I love the white
1274. 41:53t-shirt. I like that we're keeping the
1275. 41:57body type fairly modest. She's not that
1276. 41:59old, but she's not super young either,
1277. 42:00so
1278. 42:02the short hair is a vibe. I love the
1279. 42:03silveriness to it, very very pretty. And
1280. 42:05then finally, last but absolutely not
1281. 42:07least
1282. 42:07>> Well,
1283. 42:09that's my cardio for the week.
1284. 42:11>> Daddy's back with a hairline that Ada or
1285. 42:13Ashley absolutely paid for, but mama I
1286. 42:15don't care.
1287. 42:16>> [bell]
1288. 42:18>> Aged like the finest wine in the
1289. 42:23in the land. Married, probably a father,
1290. 42:26already [ __ ] bumped it up to 11 out
1291. 42:28of 10.
1292. 42:28>> Leon!
1293. 42:29>> Mama.
1294. 42:31Like refined musculature. Look at that
1295. 42:35neck. That is the neck of a man who
1296. 42:36works out. The fur-lined leather jacket,
1297. 42:40the gloves, the gun, nicely fitted pants
1298. 42:43with combat boots. Like I've heard
1299. 42:45Leon's gameplay BE DESCRIBED AS
1300. 42:48SO LIKE I'M excited cuz I want to cut
1301. 42:50through zombies. The I'm sorry. Like all
1302. 42:52the ladies at Capcom had something to
1303. 42:53say about this and I'm glad that they
1304. 42:54did cuz this is like
1305. 42:56world's finest man. Like
1306. 42:58Fellas, this is what you want to be in
1307. 42:59your 50s.
1308. 43:01The hair is optional because we know
1309. 43:02that actual real life is not that nice.
1310. 43:05Uh but like if you can like be fit in
1311. 43:08your 50s, that's it. That's all you
1312. 43:10need.
1313. 43:11He aged so well. Like holy [ __ ] And I
1314. 43:14think that might have be about it for
1315. 43:16this segment. Psych! I still have DLCs.
1316. 43:19Okay, we start from two. Hunk.
1317. 43:21>> Alpha team here. Mission accomplished.
1318. 43:23>> I told you this was like an attractive
1319. 43:25ranking, right? Why did you put a Lethal
1320. 43:27Company OC in this? He's iconic. Yeah,
1321. 43:30but it's a [ __ ] zero out of 10. I
1322. 43:32can't see his face. I can't see if he's
1323. 43:34mugging everybody if I can't see his
1324. 43:35face. Tofu. If it's the same I [ __ ] I
1325. 43:38swear to god.
1326. 43:39>> Alpha team here. Mission accomplished.
1327. 43:45>> Wave. Like holy [ __ ] This is What is
1328. 43:47that? What is that? Zero out of 10.
1329. 43:50That's just a [ __ ] block.
1330. 43:52Okay, there's remake versions. [ __ ] me.
1331. 43:55>> Nighthawk, this is Hunk from Alpha team.
1332. 43:58>> Better. Still a zero. I can't see his
1333. 44:00face.
1334. 44:02Okay, that one's actually kind of funny.
1335. 44:04Like I get the joke better in this one.
1336. 44:06Tofu, you're like a one out of 10.
1337. 44:08>> Complete global saturation.
1338. 44:11>> It's an angry tofu block chat.
1339. 44:13>> Long time no see.
1340. 44:14>> Wait, is this the dress that people got
1341. 44:16mad at because they were like, why the
1342. 44:17[ __ ] would she be wearing this in rural
1343. 44:19Spain?
1344. 44:20I do have to concur even though it's
1345. 44:22very sexy. I do like the design quite a
1346. 44:25bit. I think it's hot. This is the most
1347. 44:28Chinese thing she's worn so far though.
1348. 44:31It's hot but like in a Bond girl way,
1349. 44:33not in a tactical agent way for sure.
1350. 44:35Like I would say I'm going to give it a
1351. 44:38seven because it's not practical, mama.
1352. 44:41Like we don't need to just show bare
1353. 44:43leg. We're not monkeys.
1354. 44:44>> Don't think too hard, HANDSOME.
1355. 44:46>> MUCH BETTER! I'm sorry, this mogs the
1356. 44:50[ __ ] out of the other one. Mother is
1357. 44:51mothering in this. First of all, 10 out
1358. 44:53of 10.
1359. 44:53>> You're a legend, mate.
1360. 44:56>> Let's zoom in on that face because
1361. 44:57finally she looks Chinese. Nose Nose is
1362. 45:00wider, lips are a little bit more plump
1363. 45:02on the bottom, have a nicer shape. Her
1364. 45:03eyes actually have the shape that
1365. 45:04they're supposed to have. Face is a
1366. 45:05little bit rounder, much better. This is
1367. 45:08exactly what a spy but sexy would wear
1368. 45:12in the [ __ ] region of Spain, which my
1369. 45:13guess is Leon or Asturias would be
1370. 45:15wearing. It is cold up there. But like
1371. 45:18they didn't just give her like a
1372. 45:19bodysuit and we're done with it. They
1373. 45:21gave her a sexy red sweater. The harness
1374. 45:23is for her equipment. And then, cuz we
1375. 45:26have to keep it classy cuz it's Miss
1376. 45:27Wong over here, thigh-high boots with
1377. 45:30heels, leather, leather mini gloves are
1378. 45:33the classiest [ __ ] thing on the
1379. 45:34planet. If you prefer the dress version
1380. 45:36over this, you have like no concept of
1381. 45:38what makes a character sexy. I'm sorry
1382. 45:40because like she is covered from head to
1383. 45:42toe, but her personality is shining
1384. 45:44through in such a fun way, and she looks
1385. 45:47curvaceous, incredibly sexy, super
1386. 45:51capable, and actually dressed for the
1387. 45:52setting. This is why this design is
1388. 45:54better. Not only does it fit the setting
1389. 45:56perfectly, it's still sexy, just in a
1390. 45:58different way.
1391. 45:59>> Millions will I'll
1392. 46:00>> Oh, yeah, but
1393. 46:01>> I'm all right.
1394. 46:03Nine.
1395. 46:04Jill. Oh my god, the ass. Dude, that's a
1396. 46:07great battle suit. Yeah, buddy. Okay, so
1397. 46:10question. There was an RE collab with
1398. 46:13Nikita. Why didn't we use this one? This
1399. 46:15one is perfect right for the jiggle.
1400. 46:18>> There's always room for a beautiful
1401. 46:19lady.
1402. 46:20>> Dude, I'm so glad that like we have more
1403. 46:22cuz like I thought Sheva was going to be
1404. 46:24like the only character with melanin in
1405. 46:25this. He looks great. Love the tactical
1406. 46:28uniform. Great face. I'm going to give
1407. 46:30you an eight. I like your vibe. The
1408. 46:32uniform is missing a little bit of
1409. 46:33personality, but I do like how generally
1410. 46:34like chiseled his face is. Very, very
1411. 46:36pretty. Okay, then we go to six, someone
1412. 46:38called Agent.
1413. 46:40Zero, I can't see your face.
1414. 46:43Wave, I need faces. Wave-us.
1415. 46:47>> I'm Redfield.
1416. 46:49Glad we found you.
1417. 46:50>> Chris looks so nine. Chris looks like
1418. 46:52ooh.
1419. 46:54Chris aged so well in [ __ ] Resident
1420. 46:57Evil 7. I can't [ __ ] believe it. Like
1421. 46:58yeah, no.
1422. 47:00Super like DLC for 7, mama. He looks so
1423. 47:02good.
1424. 47:04Dude, like the stubble makes him look
1425. 47:05hotter. This is when he quit the roids.
1426. 47:07Good. He went natty, it suits him.
1427. 47:09>> We're going to fix this, Zoe.
1428. 47:11You're my family.
1429. 47:13>> End of Zoe.
1430. 47:14Oh, yeah, I heard that this DLC was
1431. 47:16really sad. Silver fox though, eight.
1432. 47:18>> Welcome to the family, son.
1433. 47:20>> Poor Zoe. I think that Zoe got done
1434. 47:22dirty in 7, yeah, for sure. This is Jack
1435. 47:25Baker's brother, actually. He only
1436. 47:26punches. Oh.
1437. 47:34>> [music]
1438. 47:37>> No, that's even hotter. I'm sorry. 10
1439. 47:38out of 10.
1440. 47:39>> You're a legend, mate.
1441. 47:40>> Man said, "Fuck it, I'm punching
1442. 47:41everything." Did he punch a gator? And
1443. 47:43very much lastly,
1444. 47:44>> Yeah, yeah, I get it. [ __ ] you.
1445. 47:47>> Ethan's baby girl, Rosemary Winters is
1446. 47:51super [ __ ] cute. She looks a lot like
1447. 47:53Mia in the face, but like the eye and
1448. 47:55hair color is distinctly Ethan.
1449. 47:58She's so pretty, so soft, so cute. She
1450. 48:01does have a DLC which I actually never
1451. 48:02got to play, but I hope that she gets
1452. 48:04her own game in the future cuz I think
1453. 48:06that she deserves it after the ending
1454. 48:08that eight had.
1455. 48:09Very much warranted. I'm going to give
1456. 48:12you an eight on the scale cuz like
1457. 48:15you're very cute and I appreciate that.
1458. 48:17And I think that like that's everybody
1459. 48:19in like DLCs uh that's like story
1460. 48:21relevant, I think. How the [ __ ] is Honk
1461. 48:23and Tofu relevant? Explain this to me,
1462. 48:24Wayne. Very, very cute though. I love
1463. 48:27this franchise and I can't wait to play
1464. 48:29Requiem. I'm just waiting a little bit
1465. 48:30so everybody can like clear spoiler
1466. 48:31jail. And uh yeah, Resident Evil is
1467. 48:34great. It's super fun, campy, a good
1468. 48:36time generally. I think that Capcom has
1469. 48:38been doing a great job. The character
1470. 48:39designs are all really solid despite the
1471. 48:41fact that they're just like normal
1472. 48:42people in like tactical gear. They still
1473. 48:43have a lot of personality. Just really,
1474. 48:45really fun.
1475. 48:46>> Relax. I'm not dead yet.
1476. 48:48>> And more importantly, I was right. The
1477. 48:50hypothesis was right. 90% of them are
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