are you mad at me? اَتی اینجاس بعد از هفت ماه — Transcript

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1. 0:01Good morning, I'm here. Ati is here,
2. 0:04Ati with an "A"; it's very important
3. 0:06that it starts with the letter A. Guys,
4. 0:09it’s seven in the morning, I’m
5. 0:10sitting here, feeling very fresh and
6. 0:12energetic, and a plane is passing by.
7. 0:15Our lives have changed so much; I’ll
8. 0:17tell you all about it; everything has
9. 0:19changed. Over these 7 months, During
10. 0:23this time, I’ve done many different
11. 0:25things; I went and did general labor
12. 0:27for a month. I never thought it would
13. 0:34happen. For example, I always thought
14. 0:37that if my work didn’t take off—
15. 0:39like my YouTube channel or getting
16. 0:41freelance projects, or if I couldn't
17. 0:43work independently here—at worst,
18. 0:44I’d just take a general labor job; it
19. 0:46would help me build connections with
20. 0:48people here, gain some experience, and
21. 0:50so on. I never imagined that general
22. 0:54labor (I knew it was hard, but not that
23. 0:56much) would destroy my neck and right
24. 0:58hand; because I already had a minor
25. 1:00cervical disc issue, and the cleaning
26. 1:02tasks and such were incredibly,
27. 1:04bizarrely difficult. Honestly, hats off
28. 1:07to everyone who does work like that,
29. 1:09because I couldn't keep up with it.
30. 1:11After that, I started slowly picking up
31. 1:13my own projects again. I mean, before
32. 1:15that, I had even taken on a photography
33. 1:17project for a mystery dinner, where a
34. 1:19group of lawyers had gathered. It was a
35. 1:21"Murder Mystery Dinner" event. They
36. 1:25came there to solve a murder mystery,
37. 1:26and during their dinner and appetizers,
38. 1:28clues for the mystery would appear on
39. 1:30their tables, and I had to photograph
40. 1:32the whole story. It was so fascinating
41. 1:35for me for those 3 hours; it’s truly
42. 1:37one of the most beautiful types of work
43. 1:39I love to do in my life. For instance,
44. 1:42street photography, capturing people in
45. 1:44specific situations where things are
46. 1:46happening, is really cool to me. After
47. 1:50that, I went on several different
48. 1:51photography projects, one of which was
49. 1:53specialized food photography; look,
50. 1:55I’ve taken scattered footage for you,
51. 1:57meaning you were with me every moment
52. 1:59and everywhere you can imagine.
53. 2:04It’s the third day of shooting, today
54. 2:06I set this style for some new dishes,
55. 2:07let me change it.
56. 2:14I always wanted to vlog, but I was in a
57. 2:16strange dilemma where I wouldn't allow
58. 2:18myself to do it; Iran, Iran, Iran...
59. 2:30That was back when the internet in Iran
60. 2:32had just been reconnected; my own
61. 2:34feelings were very strange, you know
62. 2:35what I mean? Anyway, I captured a lot
63. 2:39of footage for you. Hello, how are you?
64. 2:42You’re doing well? It’s not afraid,
65. 2:45but I am terrified of it. It’s so
66. 2:47huge, guys, it’s so huge, can you see
67. 2:50? What if I get it closer and it jumps
68. 2:52on my hand? Wow! Really, it always
69. 2:55comes and sits on that side. Why did it
70. 2:57come behind me now? Does it have a
71. 2:59motive? It turned its back, okay; looks
72. 3:02like we’re safe. Anyway, that’s
73. 3:04what I’ve been doing. A food
74. 3:07photography project in a very strange
75. 3:09place; why was I scared? It had nothing
76. 3:13to do with me. During this time, I was
77. 3:18also working with a café, handling
78. 3:20their content strategy and content
79. 3:22creation. I mean, from the start, I had
80. 3:25some back-and-forth with them,
81. 3:26brainstorming ideas based on their
82. 3:28brand identity and preparing a content
83. 3:30strategy document where everything was
84. 3:32analyzed first and then ideas were
85. 3:34proposed. I really enjoy this work;
86. 3:36it's my favorite, I love it. Honestly,
87. 3:39the day I first went to suggest it to
88. 3:41them, I didn't think they’d even be
89. 3:43interested. I was just passing by, I
90. 3:45liked the place, and I went and
91. 3:47proposed it. You know, sometimes things
92. 3:49that are very honest and spontaneous
93. 3:51seem to work better, and it just
94. 3:53happened. And it was exactly during
95. 3:55that period that I was applying for
96. 3:57various jobs; I had just left the
97. 3:59bakery job, which was a general
98. 4:01position. When I got the café job, it
99. 4:03was a 3-month contract. True, it's
100. 4:08temporary and it's not clear how long
101. 4:10it will last, as it all depends on the
102. 4:12brand's needs, but I felt, "Okay, now I
103. 4:14have a steady job, I can take on small
104. 4:16projects on the side and no longer go
105. 4:18to a job unrelated to me and pour my
106. 4:20energy into it," because I was
107. 4:22physically exhausted from the retail
108. 4:24work at the bakery. Anyway, I don't
109. 4:29want to bore you, but two days ago I
110. 4:31went for a modeling shoot, and they
111. 4:33didn't want the model's face to be
112. 4:34visible. That makes the work really
113. 4:38difficult. In general, I always have
114. 4:40some strange limitation in my projects
115. 4:42that makes things hard. For example,
116. 4:44when I go to a project, it’s never
117. 4:46just "everything is normal, go ahead."
118. 4:48No, I don't know why! Anyway, I went
119. 4:50for the shoot and then I vlogged; from
120. 4:52the moment I woke up in the morning, I
121. 4:54started vlogging: "Hurry up guys, I'm
122. 4:56going for a shoot today, I want to take
123. 4:58you with me; I've packed my bag, I'm
124. 5:00ready, and I'm heading out with my big
125. 5:02backpack." I did some things with you,
126. 5:06but I didn't really know how. Look,
127. 5:08I’ve honestly forgotten how to vlog.
128. 5:11You might not believe it, but I’ve
129. 5:13been working with cameras for a long
130. 5:15time, but vlogging is something else
131. 5:16entirely. I mean, even if you have
132. 5:19skills in filming or editing, it
133. 5:21doesn't mean you can just become a
134. 5:23YouTuber in a heartbeat. I'm not saying
135. 5:26don't do it, why not, go for it, but
136. 5:28don't expect from yourself that "I
137. 5:30should be able to get great shots for a
138. 5:32vlog, why isn't it working?" Or "Why is
139. 5:34it so hard?" It’s a completely
140. 5:36different thing, my dear, it’s about
141. 5:38being comfortable. You know, you have
142. 5:42to know who you’re talking to, you
143. 5:44have to visualize your listeners, and
144. 5:45when your connection is broken for a
145. 5:47while, you feel like you’ve gone
146. 5:49crazy and are talking to yourself;
147. 5:50it’s a completely different story.
148. 5:53Anyway, I tried to vlog but nothing
149. 5:56came of it; I mean, it’s just some
150. 5:58random, nonsense stuff. Today’s shoot
151. 6:01theme is jewelry, and the person I’m
152. 6:03shooting for is a jewelry designer. I
153. 6:09felt like these earrings matched my
154. 6:10outfit, so I put them on, but since
155. 6:12they're huge and I have work to do, I
156. 6:14decided not to wear both; it might look
157. 6:16weird to others that I'm only wearing
158. 6:18one, but I personally like it. Let me
159. 6:23take my hair down. I left it like that
160. 6:30so you could see. Now I want to tell
161. 6:32you where we’re going today. I’m
162. 6:35going to show you our neighborhood
163. 6:36again after a long time. We’ll walk
164. 6:38the streets of Vancouver together again
165. 6:40. Passing through the intersections, I
166. 6:42kept remembering how I used to film
167. 6:44myself like this. We used to see the
168. 6:47whole city together. Wow, it was so
169. 6:49exciting. I don’t know how excited
170. 6:51you were, but for me, it was very
171. 6:52thrilling. Now I want to eat my
172. 6:54breakfast. I have some granola, as you
173. 6:56can see. Why is it in this container?
174. 6:59Because we—or rather, I—prepare
175. 7:01lunch and breakfast for myself and Ara
176. 7:03every night. Yeah. Not that I'm that
177. 7:07clever or organized, no. Well, that’s
178. 7:09what employee life is really like. You
179. 7:11wake up at 5:30 AM, and sometimes you
180. 7:13might oversleep by 15 minutes, or maybe
181. 7:15things just don’t go as planned. I
182. 7:18spoke to you too fast; I don't know, I
183. 7:20felt like you were going to run away
184. 7:22and I wouldn't be able to finish what I
185. 7:23was saying. Don't run away, you rascals
186. 7:26! It feels very strange to be taking a
187. 7:42selfie like this after seven months,
188. 7:44and I feel a bit self-conscious, you
189. 7:45know what I mean? But honestly, nobody
190. 7:51cares; in fact, if you ever want to
191. 7:53create content of yourself, just know
192. 7:55that nobody cares. I mean, maybe
193. 7:57someone will turn and look at you for a
194. 7:58second, but then they just move on. You
195. 8:09might not believe it, but I used to
196. 8:11hike a lot, and lately, even walking a
197. 8:13little bit makes me tired. It’s not
198. 8:18my age or anything, but my bag is heavy
199. 8:20—even though I didn't bring my laptop
200. 8:22, I packed a lot of stuff: gym clothes
201. 8:24in case I go, or maybe a dance class. I
202. 8:27don’t know, I’ve recently developed
203. 8:29a strange resistance to working out. I
204. 8:30mean, do you know what I’m saying? I
205. 8:33want to, but when you take a break, it
206. 8:35gets hard to get back into it, but
207. 8:36I’m slowly returning to it; I’ll
208. 8:38keep you posted. One thing I really
209. 8:42need to do is dedicate a part of my day
210. 8:44to learning; specifically, learning AI
211. 8:46software for my job, for photography.
212. 8:49Because I’m actually landing
213. 8:50photography projects on Upwork. Even
214. 8:54though my main job is content strategy
215. 8:56and content creation, I still see that
216. 8:58I can get more photography gigs on
217. 8:59freelance apps here. That’s why I
218. 9:04wanted to say this; learning has become
219. 9:06very important to me, and one really
220. 9:08needs to keep themselves updated.
221. 9:11Especially in the times we are in now
222. 9:13that AI has arrived, if we don't update
223. 9:15ourselves, aren't creative, and don't
224. 9:17set aside time for learning, making
225. 9:19money will truly become very difficult.
226. 9:23Well, although I know it’s difficult
227. 9:24for you who are in Iran regardless.
228. 9:27It’s hard for us here too because no
229. 9:28one knows us; we have to build a
230. 9:30community, especially us freelancers or
231. 9:32those who take on projects. For example
232. 9:34, I know someone who works a steady job
233. 9:363 days a week—the same thing I wanted
234. 9:38to do when I went to work at the bakery
235. 9:39, because usually, many places here
236. 9:41don't offer full-time work. They go for
237. 9:43three or four days and take on projects
238. 9:44for the other two or three days.
239. 9:46Projects like videography, photography,
240. 9:48or being a UGC creator,
241. 9:49experience-based videos, and stuff like
242. 9:51that, okay. We need to learn much more
243. 9:55so we don't fall behind AI; meaning we
244. 9:57need to do things that AI cannot, or be
245. 9:59aware of what features have been added
246. 10:01to AI, and that really means being
247. 10:03updated every day, or well, almost
248. 10:05every week. I want to spend more of my
249. 10:10mornings on learning, even though
250. 10:11it’s very hard for me. I mean, when I
251. 10:14have a project to deliver to a client,
252. 10:16I’m the type of person who has to
253. 10:18finish it first and check it off so my
254. 10:20mind is free to dedicate some time to
255. 10:22myself, to my mental health; for
256. 10:24example, doing some yoga, since I
257. 10:25always do yoga at home. Really, when I
258. 10:28have a deadline and work to deliver to
259. 10:30a client, I can't; it's beyond my
260. 10:32capacity. It's as if my mind is
261. 10:35completely full and belongs to
262. 10:36somewhere else, to someone else—do
263. 10:38you know what I mean? Well, this is
264. 10:41good, it shows responsibility, but in
265. 10:43terms of learning, it’s very
266. 10:45difficult for me; it’s a very big
267. 10:46challenge. Because of this, I made a
268. 10:50decision; wait, I decided to change my
269. 10:52location. Meaning, what should I do?
270. 10:55Mornings, it's been 3 days now—with
271. 10:57today it's the fourth—I get up and go
272. 10:59to the VPL, I go to the Vancouver
273. 11:01Public Library. I'm usually there, and
274. 11:03I’ve set a limit for myself; a
275. 11:05restriction, and I don't take my laptop
276. 11:07with me. When I mentally cannot stop
277. 11:10working and shift over to learning,
278. 11:12well, it’s necessary to try a
279. 11:14different method; not to keep blaming
280. 11:16myself, saying, "Oh man, why am I not
281. 11:18studying languages?""Why am I not
282. 11:22practicing software?""Why don't I make
283. 11:24time to update myself?" and then keep
284. 11:28adding it to my schedule, not checking
285. 11:30it off, and feeling guilty. Look how
286. 11:33much I’ve lectured! That’s why I go
287. 11:35somewhere else in the morning. From 12
288. 11:40or 1 PM until the evening, around 5 or
289. 11:426 (5 is better), I have time to edit,
290. 11:44submit work, organize my projects, take
291. 11:47care of them, and things like that.
292. 12:21Well, the World Cup is over, but as you
293. 12:23can see, since it was a point of pride
294. 12:25for Vancouver to host it, they’ve
295. 12:27kept these things here; all these
296. 12:29soccer balls and stuff. Then, I came
297. 12:33here to take photos for one of my
298. 12:34projects. I'll put the photos here for
299. 12:36you to see. I became the model myself;
300. 12:38I realized I didn't have a model, so I
301. 12:40asked Ara, "Could you take these photos
302. 12:42of me?" It was really funny. It was a
303. 12:46very busy day, and afterwards, we went
304. 12:48to a dance show together; it was a
305. 12:50theater performance combined with dance
306. 12:52, a really beautiful performance. At
307. 12:55first, Ara had only bought one ticket
308. 12:57for me so I could go alone, wanting to
309. 12:59make me happy, because it was a bit
310. 13:00expensive and he hadn't bought one for
311. 13:02himself, saying, "Well, you're the one
312. 13:04who likes it more," even though he
313. 13:06loves theater too. Then we went to the
314. 13:07door, and I said, "Please, you come too
315. 13:09, there's space, just get one." We got
316. 13:11a ticket, he came in, and we watched it
317. 13:13together, but I couldn't record any
318. 13:15video. It was very beautiful, truly
319. 13:17stunning. Hey! Oh, I'm so hungry. Wow,
320. 14:06wow, wow, wow! But I want to go up into
321. 14:09the sun, see? The indecision and doubt
322. 14:11are real, you know! Let's go up. It’s
323. 14:15really cool here; I love the
324. 14:16architecture. I mean, I like the whole
325. 14:20space, but especially this part, where
326. 14:22they've managed to turn the stairs and
327. 14:24the circulation space into a spot for
328. 14:26people to sit, eat, and talk. Often, I
329. 14:29see someone sitting here filming a reel
330. 14:31, going live, or just hanging out on
331. 14:33their phone, because you can talk out
332. 14:35here; it’s only inside that it’s
333. 14:37dead silent. Well look, since I really
334. 14:51craved the sun and warmth, you might
335. 14:53think I’m crazy, but it’s freezing
336. 14:55downstairs because of the AC, and here
337. 14:57it’s so sunny. Look, it turned out
338. 15:01really cool! Ever since Ara started
339. 15:04going to work, I prep tomorrow's meal
340. 15:06the night before, and I'm at ease.
341. 15:12Whether I'm editing during the day,
342. 15:13going to a project, coming here, or
343. 15:15even if I have no work or projects and
344. 15:17am just doing chores at home, my mind
345. 15:19is at ease knowing I have lunch, you
346. 15:21know? And it really feels good. Good
347. 15:31for you!
348. 15:32I'm good, I ate too and sat outside.
349. 15:35What are you eating? The same food you
350. 15:37gave me. Yeah, you had a sandwich? Yeah
351. 15:40.
352. 15:42Enjoy! Oh. Hi guys, I'm vlogging after
353. 16:57two days; I've been stuck editing for
354. 16:59the past two days. And now, guess what!
355. 17:03Guess where we're going? We're going to
356. 17:05a workshop, a journaling notebook
357. 17:07making workshop. It's so cute, cute,
358. 17:11adorable, nice, and funny. It’s even
359. 17:15funnier that this workshop is hosted by
360. 17:17someone you probably know; we’re
361. 17:18going there now and you’ll see,
362. 17:20you'll be very surprised. Don't skip
363. 17:22ahead! When I say I love our
364. 17:24neighborhood, there's a reason; look at
365. 17:26this! Hi! What, what are you doing
366. 17:31there, you silly? You're so cute,
367. 17:33adorable. Let's go to the workshop. I
368. 17:37spend so much time alone working,
369. 17:39always at home, the library, cafes,
370. 17:41here and there—most places I'm alone,
371. 17:44except for the meetings I have with my
372. 17:46clients. I'm genuinely excited now that
373. 17:49I'm going to see people. No, don't skip
374. 17:52ahead, we're going now. How are you? Hi
375. 18:01, hi, for now look. It's this, these. I
376. 18:12had been missing this for so long, I
377. 18:14was so bored. Hello. Excuse me.
378. 18:31What was your name? Dunya.
379. 18:32Dunya.
380. 18:33And your name?
381. 18:33I'm Atieh.
382. 18:34Atieh, I'm so happy. It was great,
383. 19:03Niki's friends. I'm teasing her.
384. 19:09Yeah, Niki is here, she doesn't post
385. 19:11vlogs, this...
386. 19:14I swear to God, just today before
387. 19:15coming here I was saying it.
388. 19:18She's lying, of course she doesn't
389. 19:20remember.
390. 19:21Just the hate comments I left with my
391. 19:22other accounts were...
392. 19:26Other accounts?
393. 19:27My other accounts, what did you think?
394. 19:29I thought you were active with your own
395. 19:31account.
396. 19:32How cool. I don't even have a YouTube
397. 19:36account on my phone.
398. 19:39Come on.
399. 19:40I'm serious.
400. 19:41See, that's why she doesn't post. I'm
401. 19:45coming.
402. 19:47I don't have YouTube Premium, I don't
403. 19:49even have the YouTube app; as a
404. 19:51YouTuber, they don't pay anything, you
405. 19:53support YouTube well.
406. 19:56I'm tying a knot even though...It's
407. 20:00possible.
408. 20:01I haven't threaded all my beads yet,
409. 20:03but I'm tying a knot; I think I like
410. 20:04reaching the knotting stage early.
411. 20:08Look, one girl here, one girl here,
412. 20:11okay? Do you want one of them to be you
413. 20:13? Be this one.
414. 20:17This one is me, and now, where do you
415. 20:19think I should put the clocks? One
416. 20:22clock here, one there, I have...
417. 20:25Oh, this is so small, no, here...these
418. 20:28two are coming on it, it's too much,
419. 20:30it's a bit...but on it.
420. 20:31No, in my opinion, I think it's good
421. 20:34for on top.
422. 20:34For these corners, one...
423. 20:36Let's put this one, one stone, one...
424. 20:50It turned out so cool, thank you Aty
425. 20:52dear. You're welcome.
426. 20:55Thank you Niki, I see you guys in a way
427. 20:57...
428. 21:00Woohoo, I'm back from the workshop,
429. 21:02come sit here because I have something
430. 21:04to tell you. Look, it's a very
431. 21:08interesting feeling to make something
432. 21:10with your own hands and then write in
433. 21:11it with your own hands. Welcome back to
434. 21:17Vancouver, to my life, to our city, our
435. 21:19home, our neighborhood. Guys, I think
436. 21:22this clock is going to break, I slammed
437. 21:24it, and also, I'm very happy that you
438. 21:26came back. It was a lot of fun. Thank
439. 21:28you for watching my video. I came back
440. 21:30after 7 months. I know it was a really
441. 21:33huge disappearance, but well, I
442. 21:34couldn't; I mean, I wanted to come at a
443. 21:36time when I could share a little bit of
444. 21:38the joy of living, and give a little
445. 21:40bit of good vibes. You know? For a
446. 21:44while, especially at the beginning, I
447. 21:46was a wreck, and well, I don't really
448. 21:48want to talk about it; I know, you know
449. 21:50, we both know, but yeah. Tell me, what
450. 21:56would you like me to talk more about in
451. 21:57the next vlog? I'll try to come back
452. 22:01soon; I mean, manage things well enough
453. 22:03so I don't miss my vlogs and definitely
454. 22:05come back to you; because I really
455. 22:07missed you all, honestly. Bye for now,
456. 22:10I'm going home to have dinner, I'm
457. 22:12starving. Hi, how are you?
458. 22:17How are you?
459. 22:19You're not good, I'm good.
460. 22:23How are you awake? I thought you were
461. 22:26asleep. Invite me for the second time.
462. 22:30Say hi to the guys and then say goodbye
463. 22:32because the vlog is ending.
464. 22:34Goodbye.
465. 22:34After 7 months.
466. 22:36Next time you want to show me, give me
467. 22:38something better, man, what is this
468. 22:40mini-skirt?
469. 22:41Mini-skirt.
470. 22:43What were you eating, a pill?
471. 22:45I wasn't here for a minute, Vitamin C.
472. 22:49You got sad, did you take a pill?
473. 22:52What movie?
474. 22:53Invite.
475. 22:54Bye bye, wow. Oh. This is my food,
476. 23:04thank you dear.