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Are Women's Strength Their Facade of Weakness? | Dean Esmay | Outtakes from "The Red Pill" — Transcript

by Cassie Jaye · 2,830 words · 395 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:05[Music]
0:14how does feminism hurt meant for make
0:19right uh of course I don't know what's
0:22been set in your other interviews so I'm
0:24gonna I'm gonna make the case I get a
0:26little grief for this in some men's
0:29rights circles um but although I know
0:34others in a voice for men are on to put
0:36me of this I'm gonna say this right out
0:38for any feminists who are listening
0:40feminists aren't the only problem they
0:43didn't the problems didn't start with
0:44feminism so when I start criticizing
0:48feminism I want you to know you're just
0:52part of the problem they're just part of
0:55the problem the problems run deeper and
0:57go back a lot longer than that but how
1:00does feminism hurt women men to the way
1:04main way it does is by teaching that men
1:07oppress women that is the way you
1:14calling men oppressors and women
1:17oppressed demonizes men and I believe
1:23diminishes women at the same time it's a
1:26way of telling men to shut up it's a way
1:28of telling men that their experiences
1:29don't matter you tell a man he's
1:31privileged therefore anything he's gone
1:34through or anything he has to say
1:36doesn't matter
1:37his lived experiences don't matter
1:39because he's privileged he's the the
1:43whole privileged dialogue yes there is
1:46such a thing as male privilege but
1:47there's such a thing as female privilege
1:48too and that's always existed and by
1:52refusing to acknowledge that by refusing
1:54to acknowledge the sacrifices that men
1:56have made the
1:59[Applause]
2:01it hurts because your it even hurts
2:06because the vast majority of men I
2:08believe this is programmed into us the
2:09vast majority of men love women and care
2:13about women and want to help women and
2:15want to protect women and when you tell
2:18us we're hurting you and we can't even
2:21figure out how we're hurting you and how
2:23to stop hurting you that's painful
2:25because we don't get it and it's not
2:28because we're stupid it's because you're
2:29not being clear and but more to the
2:33point it's just the oppression dialectic
2:37needs to go okay women have always been
2:47privileged and protected in in every
2:49society that's ever existed women have
2:52been have had privilege and protection
2:54that men did not and women have always
2:57been part of creating whatever society
3:00you find women and men in they've always
3:03been an equal part of that I even we
3:11talk now today about sometimes we'll
3:13hear well what about women in the Middle
3:15East and all these horrible things that
3:16happened women in the Middle East you
3:17start talking to people who are from
3:20that region and ask them what their
3:21mothers are like and what what what
3:23their grandmothers are like and and you
3:26find out just how powerful women are in
3:29the family and in those cultures and you
3:33start to realize how big they are in
3:35creating and maintaining that society
3:39however that society has stopped
3:42pretending that you're oppressed and men
3:46are your oppressors it's a lie and it's
3:50a hurtful lie and it's a hateful lie and
3:52it's wrong now
3:55get past that and you want to talk about
3:57equality under the law we don't even
3:59have to talk about everything being
4:00equal let's just talk about equality
4:02under the law I'm all for that let's
4:05work on that but I've been going for
4:0820-25 years looking for that and not
4:10seeing that from you guys
4:12so yeah I guess I'm here to [ __ ] your
4:17[ __ ] up until you show me that you mean
4:19it there you go that's what I got I
4:23guess so
4:25what about because I understand at the
4:28bottom I'm not sure what percentage say
4:3020 or 30 percent of homeless and
4:33impoverished people are most of them are
4:35men yes but when you look at the 1% that
4:39if we do call money power and they do
4:43hold the places in office and political
4:46positions and also CEOs and are really
4:50the ones that have been making the huge
4:52decisions for the country for the past
4:53few centuries
4:55wouldn't that be considered a patriarchy
4:58the powerful 1% is mostly men um I would
5:06consider that a patriarchal system but
5:13properly understood in my view a
5:18patriarchal system well first off what
5:22is the patriarchy patriarchy is a father
5:25ok really what it means or a grandfather
5:30important father rule black fathers
5:34historically there actually have been
5:37matriarch ease where women held most of
5:40the power and most of what I've heard
5:44about historical matriarch ease this is
5:45the way it happened is the women would
5:47get all get together and decide what man
5:49was going to be chief so is that a
5:54patriarchy or is it because most of the
5:59time throughout most of history most
6:01women have been too busy or not
6:02particularly interested in being charged
6:04in charge in that overt area of power
6:08that era were visible grandly visible
6:12power that's not what they wanted
6:16I actually am pretty much of the opinion
6:18most women aren't that interested in
6:20that I don't think that's because women
6:21are inferior I think
6:24that's not where most of their
6:26priorities live the fact of the matter
6:29is I do believe historically women have
6:37looked to men for leadership on things
6:38like this they want men to take the
6:40danger they want men to take the chances
6:43they want men to take the risks and with
6:46all that tends to come reward and
6:48although frequently the reward is just
6:51recognition when we look at today in
6:53positions of power well in politics
6:57certainly in the United States and
6:59Canada women have been the majority of
7:02voters for decades now certainly longer
7:05than you've been alive I think they've
7:08been a majority of voters in the United
7:10States as longer than I've been alive
7:12but I know for a fact it's been at least
7:14since the 1980s that women have been a
7:16majority of voters so if having
7:19primarily male politicians is oppressive
7:22apparently the majority of the nation's
7:24voters who happen to be female prefer to
7:26be oppressed if that's what oppression
7:29is I don't think it is oppression
7:33because I know a lot about politics I've
7:36studied politics for a long long time I
7:40used to do a lot of political poetry
7:42work before I've got directly overtly
7:45involved in the men's movement and
7:48politicians want one thing in one wall
7:51they want one thing only it doesn't
7:53matter how idealistic they are even when
7:55they start it doesn't matter what they
7:57say they stand for ultimately they are
7:59interested in one thing they're
8:00interested in getting reelected you
8:06can't do that by offending the majority
8:08of voters so don't tell me women don't
8:12have power they do so since before you
8:17were born women have been a majority of
8:18voters Cassie apparently women don't put
8:21a priority on putting other women in
8:23office do they need to if the men are
8:25doing what they're asking them to do
8:27apparently they don't and if a lot of
8:31women if a majority of women are more
8:33interested in or only in being
8:35or whatever and having I don't even
8:39necessarily advocate for the traditional
8:41man bread women winner woman at home
8:44model I don't even really advocate for
8:46that but if that's where a majority of
8:48women's interests lie or even a half of
8:52women that's kind of where they want to
8:54be maybe working part time then they're
8:58not going to rise to those positions of
9:00power
9:01but even then outside of politics ok
9:04your average CEO what does your ever CEO
9:06have to do to become CEO probably work
9:09about 80 to 140 hours a week to become
9:13one and what does he spend most of that
9:17money on after he's got his nice clothes
9:20and his fancy house and his fancy car
9:23what does he spend it on his family
9:27starting with his wife or his girlfriend
9:30all of that money that these rich
9:33powerful men they're frequently they're
9:35frequently usually spending it on women
9:38and that goes back to an age-old pattern
9:41which is that men have always
9:43prioritized the protection and
9:45provisioning of women for their needs
9:48and some women are grateful for that and
9:52some women just expect it is their
9:54birthright and I think that's what makes
9:58some of them uncomfortable too when we
10:00talk about these things because if men
10:02start saying I'm not interested in
10:04protecting you and I'm not interested in
10:06providing for you I'm interested in me
10:08I'm taking care of myself first and if
10:13you know you want my protection you want
10:15my you want the fruit of my labor what's
10:18in it for me is that actually a horrible
10:21thing to ask I actually don't think it
10:23is I'm not in a relationship where I
10:29mean my wife works and I don't care my
10:36wife makes more money than I do I still
10:38don't care I don't think that makes me
10:41less of a man I don't think that makes
10:43her less of a woman
10:45but the idea that this 1% is
10:51all-powerful well first off I'm not one
10:54of that 1% and I never will be and be
10:57even there I still see these men
10:59spending much of their life trying to
11:02impress women and give things to women I
11:07mean okay you're a pretty girl and I
11:15decide I want to try to hit on you right
11:20what do I typically do I try to charm
11:25you I try to buy you a drink I try to
11:27buy you dinner I give you a flower I
11:29give you gifts well I try to impress you
11:34oh this is what guys do I think they've
11:38done that forever you know it used to be
11:45that when you were approaching a
11:46powerful King or a powerful Lord or a
11:48powerful Duke what would you usually do
11:52to get his attention you would bring him
11:55a gift and say nice things about him so
11:59who has the power in that relationship I
12:08really want you addressed on the talking
12:12point the feminists have of the men
12:14controlling the governments and being
12:16CEOs and all this because that is a
12:17common talking point that we still live
12:20in a male-dominated world the power
12:23world so I I thought you get great
12:26answers that well I'd like to say even a
12:28little more about it
12:29it says like do you really think that
12:32Donald Trump gets up in the morning and
12:34says how can I help other men I don't
12:37think he does I think he gets up in the
12:40morning to think how can I do for myself
12:43more for myself and how can I do more to
12:45impress my wife and kids I don't think
12:47he gives a rat's ass about me
12:50I sure know he doesn't give a rat's ass
12:51about the homeless population in
12:53whatever city he lives in okay Donald if
12:56you're listening maybe you do and if so
12:58I apologize my point is that's just you
13:04know what that logic is I as a white
13:06person say look Barack Obama is a black
13:09man who's president of the United States
13:11therefore black people are all powerful
13:14in the United States does that line of
13:17reasoning make sense no so the fact that
13:22men hold the most positions of power
13:24well a lot of times that power is
13:26dependent on a woman in the first place
13:28or on women in general certainly in the
13:30face of politicians it is my god if you
13:33can when you do this documentary find
13:36presidential speeches from Mitt Romney
13:39and Barack Obama and look at how often
13:42both of those men talked about women and
13:45what they would do for women and what
13:47they had done for women and what they
13:49intended to do for women because they
13:53because they know women are key to their
13:56getting into power that's politics and
14:00in this corporate world well like I said
14:03these guys sacrificed everything to get
14:06to the top of that pyramid and they're
14:08still doing it mostly to take care of
14:10their families and yeah impress women so
14:13in my first documentary daddy I do we
14:16interviewed this one woman who we didn't
14:19include in the film but she had a part
14:21where she was talking about her
14:23relationship with like whoever guys
14:25she's dating and she says that the
14:29comment quote she repeats is that the
14:33man may be the head of the family but
14:35the woman is the neck and I consider the
14:38head I've heard that line multiple times
14:41I know feminists hate it well I hate it
14:44too probably for similar not exactly the
14:47same differences first time I heard that
14:51spoken out loud was by an old Polish
14:55woman from Poland old school Catholic
14:59religious conservative
15:02yes the man is the head the woman is the
15:05neck I I knew that couple knot and her
15:14husband mind you look very old-school
15:17for a conservative quite religious that
15:22man worked his entire life an average of
15:2560 to 80 hours a week on the General
15:28Motors assembly line he came home and he
15:31handed his paycheck to his wife and when
15:36he was at home and from and not working
15:39his night shift jobs his 60 to 80 hour a
15:43week jobs he was at home fixing the
15:46house fixing the family cars and doing
15:49whatever his wife complained about to
15:52fix whatever she complained about she
15:55expected him to be in charge but she
15:58expected him to do everything he asked
16:01that she asked him to do that goes into
16:05something that we sometimes call hypo
16:08agency which I don't know if you've
16:11heard that phrase hypo agency but it's
16:13where you act like you're helpless you
16:20get somebody else to be in charge and
16:23then you get the person in charge to do
16:25your bidding who's really in charge I'm
16:29going to give you visible power just as
16:31long as you keep doing everything that I
16:33expect you to do and I think that's a
16:39dynamic that's been going on for
16:40thousands of years and it actually goes
16:41back to why I say feminism isn't the
16:43only problem it's part of the problem
16:46because they won't recognize that women
16:47have always had this men will
16:50instinctively protect and provide for
16:51women it's like oh I don't know how much
16:54of that is wired and how much is
16:55cultural but women have always had I
17:00guess you could call it soft power the
17:04power to get men to meet their
17:08expectations and I've seen this in
17:10people from multiple cultural cultures
17:13from multiple religious points of view
17:16from multiple ethnic groups women put
17:20expectations on their man and a man who
17:23is not meeting his woman's expectations
17:25is not a man and I have yet to find a
17:29cultural group where that isn't true
17:31whether it's urban black America where I
17:35spent a lot of time in Hispanic Barrios
17:38where I've spent a lot of time in white
17:40suburban America a man who is not
17:43meeting his woman's expectations is not
17:45a man I see that in conservative
17:48Christian households I've seen it in
17:49Muslim households I've seen an atheist
17:52household I've seen it in their liberal
17:53households a man who is not meeting his
17:56woman's expectations his needs is not a
17:58man that's what the man is a head and
18:03the woman is the neck means to me and I
18:06think that's something that's gone back
18:07a long long time and I think it makes it
18:10people distinctly I frankly think it
18:12makes women distinctly uncomfortable we
18:15want with you maybe this sounds sexist
18:17but I think a lot of women know all this
18:18instinctively I think a woman a lot of
18:22women do know this instinctively or
18:24consciously or unconsciously they know
18:25it and when men pointed out they get
18:28very uncomfortable because it's and it
18:32feels almost like [ __ ] they figured it
18:36out now what do I do
18:37tell him to shut up but yeah the
18:50weakness of men is the facade of
18:52strength and the strength of women is
18:55the facade of weakness yeah that's
18:58that's one of the most insightful things
19:00were never said and it I mean I actually
19:05yeah he said I think this I think the
19:09specific quote was you know women's
19:14strength is their illusion of weakness
19:16and men's weakness is their illusion of
19:20strength but maybe you got it right
19:21either way the concept is there
19:24and it's always been there if I can lay
19:28expectations on you Cassie and I can
19:32make you feel like [ __ ] for not meeting
19:34my expectations but I say you're in
19:39charge well I imagine you'd find that
19:43uncomfortable
19:46[Music]
19:51[Music]

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