Antonia San Juan, mi hija Mary — Transcript

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1. 0:05I haven't spoken to my husband in 20
2. 0:07years. I haven't spoken to my husband.
3. 0:1320 years. 20 years, easier said than
4. 0:18done. 20 years, easier said than done.
5. 0:23But that hasn't been enough reason to
6. 0:25separate. No way, no way, no way, no
7. 0:27way, no way, no way. And we even sleep
8. 0:30in the same bed. I don't speak to him.
9. 0:33I don't speak to him. But we even sleep
10. 0:36in the same bed. Besides, I don't
11. 0:38neglect him. I don't speak to him, but
12. 0:40I don't neglect him. For example, at
13. 0:44lunchtime, I tell my daughter, "Mari,
14. 0:45Mari,""Mari,""Mari, tell your father to
15. 0:52please come and eat." Because I ask for
16. 0:56things politely; just because I can't
17. 0:57read or write doesn't mean I wasn't
18. 0:59raised well. "Tell your father to
19. 1:01please come and eat." And when I see
20. 1:04him in front of his plate huffing
21. 1:05because the food is hot, and the hot
22. 1:07food, and bam, "It's hot, it's hot." I
23. 1:18swear, it makes me want to break the
24. 1:19ice and say, "Heat it up yourself.""You
25. 1:21have some nerve, you jerk." I tell my
26. 1:24daughter, "Mari, Mari,""tell your
27. 1:28father that if he expects me to get up
28. 1:29with my hands as ruined as they are,
29. 1:31when all I've done in life is work to
30. 1:32get all of you ahead, gutting fish in a
31. 1:34factory and cleaning floors...""Tell
32. 1:35him I'll get up and change his plate of
33. 1:36soup.""Tell him I'd rather get up to
34. 1:39see him..." When I'm going to bed, I
35. 1:44tell my Mari, "tell your father, tell
36. 1:49the gentleman that I'm going to bed,
37. 1:51and if he doesn't want to go to bed,
38. 1:52that's fine by me.""I'm not going to
39. 1:55hold a gun to his chest.""Tell your
40. 1:57father I'm not Franco, I'm not Hitler,
41. 1:59I'm not Mussolini. Tell your father
42. 2:00that I am a person, eh?""I am a person.
43. 2:03""Now, if he doesn't go to bed, then
44. 2:07please, I'm asking him, please, hey,
45. 2:08don't turn on the light later because
46. 2:10he falls asleep and I stay awake." And
47. 2:14I say to my daughter: "Mari, Mari, Mari
48. 2:16, would you mind staying awake until
49. 2:18your brother Paco comes?" You know that
50. 2:22until he is inside here, I cannot sleep
51. 2:24peacefully; I spend the whole night
52. 2:25going from the bed to the balcony and
53. 2:27from the balcony to the bed, restless
54. 2:29because your brother isn't here. Would
55. 2:33you mind, Mari, if I took a pill,
56. 2:35relaxed quietly, huh? Relaxed calmly
57. 2:39and you stayed up the whole night.
58. 2:41It’s not sexism, Mari, it’s not
59. 2:43sexism, but I would like for you to be
60. 2:45on guard all night long. I’d be
61. 2:48relaxed and sleeping because I get
62. 2:49restless, and since your brother turns
63. 2:51off his phone because he has to do
64. 2:53something important—the drinking
65. 2:54parties—which he used to do on
66. 2:56Fridays and Saturdays, and now they
67. 2:58force him to go from Monday to Sunday,
68. 3:00the poor thing has to go to those
69. 3:01parties. Would you mind staying awake
70. 3:04all night on guard, and whatever time
71. 3:06he arrives, 3, 4, 5 in the morning,
72. 3:08even if he arrives at 10 in the morning
73. 3:10or two days later, please, you stay put
74. 3:12by the window, okay? Whatever time he
75. 3:15arrives, you make him some fish soup,
76. 3:17since he always comes home wanting to
77. 3:18eat fish soup so it settles his stomach
78. 3:20. And my Mari waits for her brother.
79. 3:25How good my Mari is, how good my Mari
80. 3:28is. What makes me so angry is that my
81. 3:30daughter Mari goes out with her friends
82. 3:31, do you understand me? But not because
83. 3:32she goes out or because she leaves me
84. 3:33alone with her father, because he isn't
85. 3:34going to do anything to me. But since
86. 3:35she is the bridge of communication
87. 3:37between her father and me, when she
88. 3:39leaves, I am left totally incommunicado
89. 3:41. Totally incommunicado. When my
90. 3:45husband and I are alone watching
91. 3:46television, and my daughter Mari goes
92. 3:47out with her friends, I am watching the
93. 3:48television with this eye and keeping
94. 3:49watch on him with this one. I am like
95. 3:51this, look. And when I see him start to
96. 3:55fall asleep in front of the TV, that he
97. 3:56starts, I swear to you it makes me want
98. 4:01to break the ice and tell him, "Don't
99. 4:03you have a bed to sleep in?" Is there
100. 4:04no bed in this house to sleep in, huh?
101. 4:06Is there no bed in this house to sleep
102. 4:08in, that you have to sleep in the
103. 4:10armchair as if you were a dog or what?
104. 4:13But I can't just say it, I have to keep
105. 4:14quiet and swallow it, I have to keep
106. 4:15quiet and swallow it. Why kid ourselves
107. 4:19, my Mari? My hands, my feet, my voice,
108. 4:21my friend, my confidante, my crutches,
109. 4:23my Mari, everything for me, everything
110. 4:25for me. There have been times at 3 or 4
111. 4:28in the morning when my husband's
112. 4:29snoring hasn't let me sleep. My
113. 4:30husband's snoring hasn't let me sleep.
114. 4:33I’ve gotten up just as God brought me
115. 4:34. Blessed Saint Rita, Saint Gemma
116. 4:36Galgani, Saint Raymond Nonnatus, the
117. 4:38Christ, the Holy Face, Saint Cosmas,
118. 4:39the Child Virgin, the Sacred Heart of
119. 4:41Jesus, the Sacred Heart of Mary, the
120. 4:43Virgin of the Pine, the Virgin of
121. 4:44Candelaria, the Moreneta; and with all
122. 4:46those people, today I’m accompanied
123. 4:48to the door of my daughter Mari's room.
124. 5:02She knocked on the door and said, "Is
125. 5:03something wrong, Mom?""Why are you
126. 5:04coming with all these people?" I say, "
127. 5:06Oh, Mari, my child, your father won't
128. 5:10let me sleep with his snoring.""Mari,
129. 5:12would you do me the favor of going to
130. 5:13the room?""Turn your father over, do it
131. 5:16like this,""so that I can rest." And my
132. 5:22daughter Mari, who gets up at 5 in the
133. 5:24morning to clean a school right across
134. 5:26from the room, turns her father over so
135. 5:27I can rest. How good my daughter Mari
136. 5:31is. How good my daughter Mari is. I
137. 5:34have nothing to say about my husband,
138. 5:36because when he was young, if he beat
139. 5:37me to death, he did the same to my
140. 5:38children. Drunkenness after drunkenness
141. 5:40, he spent all his money on, and
142. 5:41would bring those right to my
143. 5:43own door. But ever since my husband had
144. 5:46the stroke that took his right side—
145. 5:48his eye stayed closed, his mouth
146. 5:50crooked, and the hand he used to hit me
147. 5:52stayed hidden like this—Since that
148. 5:56day, since that day. How good my
149. 6:00husband is. How good my husband is. I
150. 6:13hope my daughter Mari finds a man like
151. 6:15her father, but as the father is now,
152. 6:19all twisted and hunched over. But this
153. 6:22life is nothing but worries. This is a
154. 6:25valley of tears. We don't come here
155. 6:27just to suffer. My grandmother taught
156. 6:28me that, who got it from my
157. 6:29great-grandmother, who got it from my
158. 6:30great-great-grandmother. My
159. 6:31granddaughter tells me, "We are nobody,
160. 6:33Grandma." I say, "What was that, honey?
161. 6:34" She says, "We are nobody, Grandma." I
162. 6:36say, "Oh, what lovely things we are
163. 6:37teaching you in this family.""With that
164. 6:40kind of thinking, you're going to do
165. 6:41wonderfully." You keep on thinking.
166. 6:43You're going to eat it all up. You're
167. 6:44going to eat up all that thinking. Look
168. 6:46at how much of a Christian I am. Look
169. 6:47at how much of a Christian I am, that
170. 6:49I'm not even happy when I am happy.
171. 6:53When I'm happy I say, "Oh, how strange
172. 6:55I feel." Look, something is up. I hope
173. 6:58God doesn't punish me for having such a
174. 7:00good time. "And now my Mari is getting
175. 7:03married, this broad must be horny. And
176. 7:07Mario wants to take her to live with
177. 7:09him. I ask myself," What will my family
178. 7:10do? "Eh, what will my family do? What
179. 7:12will my son Paco do? You know what my
180. 7:14son Paco has. My son Paco has had bad
181. 7:17luck. Oh, what bad luck my son Paco has
182. 7:19had, damn it. Bad luck, honestly,
183. 7:21because one time I went to a witch at
184. 7:23the port and the witch told me," I see
185. 7:25here that your son Paco is never going
186. 7:27to work. "And I got home and said to
187. 7:32him," Paco, the witch told me you're
188. 7:33never going to work. "And he said to me
189. 7:35," Mom, well if the witch said it, I'm
190. 7:36not even looking for a job. "But nobody
191. 7:48has come to my front door to offer him
192. 7:50a job either, because he’s there on
193. 7:51the sofa and Zapatero didn't come. He
194. 7:53used to say," Maybe one day Zapatero
195. 7:54will come and get me up from here. "I
196. 7:56say," I have a feeling Zapatero isn't
197. 7:57going to get you up from that sofa. "I
198. 7:59don't know why. Zapatero never deigned
199. 8:01to come to the door to get him up. Now
200. 8:04I'm counting on Rajoy to get him up.
201. 8:05Rajoy for sure. Rajoy will surely get
202. 8:08him up from the sofa now because that's
203. 8:09what he tells me, Mom. I would work, I
204. 8:11have the will. I say, look, as long as
205. 8:13you tell me you have the will, I'm calm
206. 8:14. You have the will. And if I have the
207. 8:16will, the thing is, if they don't pay
208. 8:18me 3,000 € a month, four bonuses a
209. 8:20year, two months of vacation, then
210. 8:21working just for the sake of working...
211. 8:23I say, you're right. I say, don't you
212. 8:26stress yourself out, Juan. Yeah.