All you need to know about communication you learned in kindergarten | Gerry Kierans | TEDxGroningen — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:33I'm waiting for the slide to kick in
2. 0:35here.
3. 0:38Oh wow, voila.
4. 0:40Um, I should start by explaining um, why
5. 0:44I am showing you two tin cans.
6. 0:47Now, we know this normally means
7. 0:49communication.
8. 0:50Um, but you'll see that there's a line
9. 0:52between the two tin cans. And on one
10. 0:55side we have the word kindergarten and
11. 0:57on the other side the boardroom.
12. 0:59Now,
13. 1:00I actually happen to have two tin cans
14. 1:03with me.
15. 1:04And um, I've been using these tin cans
16. 1:07as a metaphor
17. 1:10to explain to um, my clients
18. 1:12that um,
19. 1:14communication
20. 1:15is um, scientific.
21. 1:18It is strategic.
22. 1:21But it is also
23. 1:23um,
24. 1:23very important to understand that it is
25. 1:26a skill.
26. 1:27And that means each and every one of
27. 1:29you, if you practice the right
28. 1:31communication strategies,
29. 1:34you can be a very effective
30. 1:36communicator.
31. 1:37But I don't want to talk about great
32. 1:39communication today.
33. 1:41I would like to talk about what happens
34. 1:42when we're not using
35. 1:44effective
36. 1:45communication strategies.
37. 1:47Which illustrates why I have the line
38. 1:49down the middle. Which also illustrates
39. 1:51why on these two cans
40. 1:54I have some communication strategies
41. 1:57written down.
42. 1:58They are
43. 1:59involvement,
44. 2:02uh, communicating with emotions,
45. 2:06um,
46. 2:07delivering a message,
47. 2:10and finally storytelling. Now, there's
48. 2:12others, but those are the ones I want to
49. 2:14talk about today.
50. 2:16In a in the spirit of TED
51. 2:19Talks, I guess what I would like to say
52. 2:21and have you think about is the fact
53. 2:23that um,
54. 2:26communication
55. 2:27um, in the business world really needs
56. 2:30to go back to kindergarten to learn how
57. 2:33to
58. 2:34do the very basics.
59. 2:36Um, and um, I will conclude my talk
60. 2:39today by actually giving you a proposal,
61. 2:42a call to action that we can solve this
62. 2:46problem, this breakdown.
63. 2:48Now,
64. 2:49another great thing about communication
65. 2:51is using visuals. So, I'd like us to go
66. 2:53on a journey, a visual journey that
67. 2:56brings us back to kindergarten.
68. 3:00Now, here is kindergarten.
69. 3:02Um, and this is the kindergarten meeting
70. 3:05room.
71. 3:07Opposite the kindergarten meeting room,
72. 3:10we have what most of us adults would be
73. 3:12probably more familiar with, the
74. 3:15business meeting room. But I don't want
75. 3:17to talk about the environment. What I
76. 3:20want to talk about, remember, are the
77. 3:21four communication strategies that take
78. 3:24place in this environment. So, let's um,
79. 3:27let's continue our journey.
80. 3:30Um, one very key
81. 3:33um, communication strategy that is
82. 3:35practiced very well in the kindergarten
83. 3:39environment is involvement.
84. 3:42And you can see the consequence in the
85. 3:43image of what great involvement does.
86. 3:47In contrast, let's take a look at the
87. 3:50business world.
88. 3:56All right. I don't need to say anything
89. 3:57more about that. Um, so involvement is a
90. 4:00communication strategy. Let's look at a
91. 4:02second one that we have long since
92. 4:04forgotten that is used in kindergarten.
93. 4:09Communicating and connecting with people
94. 4:12via emotions.
95. 4:15Um, the result is pretty evident. Now,
96. 4:17let's take a look at how we use um,
97. 4:21the uh, skills of connecting with
98. 4:24feelings and emotions in the uh,
99. 4:26business environment.
100. 4:28Even though we all instinctively know
101. 4:30that we all make decisions based on
102. 4:32emotions,
103. 4:34the business environment has a tendency
104. 4:35to believe that um,
105. 4:37uh, expressing emotions are childlike.
106. 4:41And so, we end up with uh, sometimes a
107. 4:43lot of frustration.
108. 4:45On and out turn to the third strategy
109. 4:47that we are forgetting
110. 4:49um, from kindergarten.
111. 4:51And that is how to um,
112. 4:54get a message
113. 4:56and to deliver it and to design it. Now,
114. 4:58the image in the kindergarten is pretty
115. 5:00clear.
116. 5:01The teacher has great eye contact and a
117. 5:04wonderful broad smile.
118. 5:06Now, um, I'm think most of you are going
119. 5:08to probably identify with this
120. 5:10photograph.
121. 5:14Now, I have specifically chosen a
122. 5:17PowerPoint as a design and a delivery
123. 5:21problem because we're all intimately
124. 5:24um, aware of what happens when this is
125. 5:26not used properly.
126. 5:28Um, now, I would like to talk about
127. 5:30PowerPoint specifically
128. 5:32because
129. 5:33um,
130. 5:34if you have not developed great
131. 5:36PowerPoint skills,
132. 5:38um, it's vitally important that you do.
133. 5:41Because when you next stand up in front
134. 5:43of your peers and you say, "I would now
135. 5:45like to share with you
136. 5:48my most recent PowerPoint presentation."
137. 5:50This is what I do not want to happen to
138. 5:54you.
139. 6:05Now, um, this is pretty funny. I have to
140. 6:07admit, I've seen it hundreds of times
141. 6:09and uh, my favorite part is actually it
142. 6:11stopped, which is very unfortunate. Um,
143. 6:14the dog actually continues to run out.
144. 6:16Um,
145. 6:17the sad reality of this, of course, is
146. 6:19that when we are trapped in a room and
147. 6:21someone is using PowerPoint
148. 6:23ineffectively, we cannot escape the
149. 6:26room. So, now let's turn to the um,
150. 6:29fourth
151. 6:30um, kindergarten strategy that we have
152. 6:33long since forgotten, and that's the
153. 6:35strategy of storytelling.
154. 6:37I have an image of Winnie the Winnie the
155. 6:40Pooh, who you may or may not know is
156. 6:42actually Canadian, but that's a long
157. 6:44story that we don't have time
158. 6:46to share today.
159. 6:47Um,
160. 6:48storytelling, unfortunately, is
161. 6:51completely lost in the corporate world.
162. 6:54And uh,
163. 6:55we have a tendency to think analytically
164. 6:59and to express our concepts with um,
165. 7:02numbers and charts.
166. 7:05So, that covers the four, you know, at
167. 7:07least four key strategies that we have
168. 7:10forgotten in the kindergarten world.
169. 7:12What I'd like to do now is to um, share
170. 7:15another image with you.
171. 7:17Now, I'm hoping that this is going to
172. 7:19work. This is an optical illusion and I
173. 7:22want all of you to lean back into your
174. 7:24chairs and relax.
175. 7:26Um, and it's going to be like the the
176. 7:28wave in a football stadium, okay? Want
177. 7:31you to lean back. I want you to focus on
178. 7:33the dots in the center.
179. 7:36And then I want you now to all lean
180. 7:37forward.
181. 7:39Nice and slowly. Don't take your eyes
182. 7:41off the dot.
183. 7:43And now slowly lean back.
184. 7:46Let's try it one more time.
185. 7:48Lean forward.
186. 7:49Now, if you think this is moving,
187. 7:52I have someone very wise who would like
188. 7:54to make a comment for you.
189. 7:57George Bernard Shaw,
190. 8:00who is simply saying that the single
191. 8:03biggest problem with communication is
192. 8:05the illusion
193. 8:07that it is actually taking place.
194. 8:09So, fundamentally, what am I saying
195. 8:11here? What I'm saying is if the
196. 8:13corporate world believes um, that
197. 8:16storytelling is not good and that uh,
198. 8:19connecting emotionally is not good,
199. 8:22they are fooling themselves because
200. 8:24communication is not taking place.
201. 8:27Now, I have one more final image that
202. 8:29I'd like to share with you.
203. 8:32Um, I was told that you are all um,
204. 8:35high achievers, high potential
205. 8:37achievers. Um, and um,
206. 8:41I chose deliberately
207. 8:43an image of a ladder to inspire you.
208. 8:46Um, as you have unlimited potential.
209. 8:50Um, but I what I want you to do right
210. 8:52now is to take um, a look at both of
211. 8:54these ladders and to compare the
212. 8:56kindergarten one with the boardroom one.
213. 8:59And I want you to find the difference.
214. 9:09Now, if you're having a difficult time,
215. 9:11it's because
216. 9:13there is no difference.
217. 9:15I've deliberately used the same
218. 9:17photograph.
219. 9:19And I did that because I want to
220. 9:21in a dramatic way
221. 9:23kind of let you know that I don't think
222. 9:26that communication strategies should be
223. 9:28any different.
224. 9:31Now, I promised you that I would come up
225. 9:34with a solution
226. 9:35for this um, challenge
227. 9:38to um,
228. 9:40start to get the boardroom
229. 9:43to start thinking about some of the
230. 9:44strategies that we've long since
231. 9:46forgotten.
232. 9:47And here's my call to action for you.
233. 9:50What I would like you all to do um,
234. 9:52after you leave TEDx and you go back to
235. 9:55work, is I want you to um,
236. 9:59speak to your peers, speak to your
237. 10:00colleagues. I want you to form form a
238. 10:03team, and I want you
239. 10:06you're probably going to guess. I want
240. 10:08you to go to kindergarten.
241. 10:10I want you to spend an entire day there.
242. 10:12I want you to interview the students.
243. 10:16Okay. I want you to
244. 10:19ask the teacher what strategies she or
245. 10:21he is using.
246. 10:23And the second part of this image
247. 10:27that I want you to think about was the
248. 10:29first kindergarten meeting
249. 10:32meeting room that I showed you with the
250. 10:33little yellow chairs. I want you to not
251. 10:35just go with your peers. I want you to
252. 10:37take the board members.
253. 10:40I want you to take the faculty members.
254. 10:44I want to take you to take them to the
255. 10:47kindergarten also for an entire day.
256. 10:50Now, with this image of board members
257. 10:53and faculty members sitting in little
258. 10:55yellow chairs,
259. 10:57I'd like to come
260. 10:59conclude my talk and to thank you very
261. 11:02much for allowing me to share my ideas.