ALEX JONES SHOUTS AT AUSTIN EMPLOYEES BUT IS IT FAKE? | Double Toasted — Transcript

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1. 0:02[Laughter]
2. 0:11these are the alex jones players right
3. 0:14here
4. 0:25we'll go from one crazy person to
5. 0:26another
6. 0:28yeah i feel like butch hartman is doing
7. 0:29his thing over there and i can just go
8. 0:31well
9. 0:32let him do that i may ignore it and you
10. 0:34know
11. 0:35i i suggest you people do the same well
12. 0:38this person
13. 0:38yeah you could just be sitting minding
14. 0:41your own business and he's right there
15. 0:42in your face
16. 0:43yeah you know all these crazy people
17. 0:46that y'all talking about right now they
18. 0:47over there
19. 0:49alex jones is here we got a deal we
20. 0:50still gotta deal with this [ __ ]
21. 0:52alex jones man
22. 0:56alex jones always up to something man
23. 0:58just can't shut up
24. 0:59as i was saying earlier man people over
25. 1:02in ireland heard his ass over there
26. 1:05people over in ireland talking about i
27. 1:07got a call today i gotta i gotta
28. 1:09i gotta edit the open island he called
29. 1:10me a day will you tell alex jones shut
30. 1:12up we hear him all the way over here
31. 1:15i mean you're in austin right can you go
32. 1:17there and just punch him in the mouth
33. 1:18and tell him to shut the [ __ ] up
34. 1:20i'm trying to sleep yeah people
35. 1:22apparently
36. 1:23alex jones is going crazy again you know
37. 1:25doing what he does
38. 1:27you know making a spectacle of himself
39. 1:29all wednesday
40. 1:31as usual alex jones always screaming and
41. 1:35hollering about nothing and now that
42. 1:36corona is out there
43. 1:38when most people trying to be
44. 1:40responsible sit down you know
45. 1:42stay at home social distance he's out
46. 1:44there in the middle of it mm-hmm
47. 1:46not spreading it that dude yeah so much
48. 1:50he could
49. 1:50spit saliva on you from five blocks away
50. 1:54you ever seen him slobbering and
51. 1:56sweating
52. 1:57alex jones is the one the most when he
53. 1:59gets mad he's one of the wettest most
54. 2:01moist mother
55. 2:02you could ever see he's he's the main
56. 2:04person that needs to be locked down in
57. 2:05quarantine
58. 2:06yeah alex jones can spit on a whole
59. 2:09rally and get them sick and now he's out
60. 2:13there he's out there doing it again man
61. 2:14alex jones
62. 2:15he just takes advantage of anything
63. 2:18out there to make a spectacle and get
64. 2:21attention
65. 2:22for himself that's the problem with the
66. 2:23man he's somewhat of a narcissist
67. 2:25himself
68. 2:25somewhat all this [ __ ] of him going
69. 2:28crazy and always supposed to be about
70. 2:30you know i'm i'm a man of the people i'm
71. 2:32a patriot nah man he does this [ __ ] for
72. 2:34money and attention we said this over
73. 2:36and over again and now here he is again
74. 2:38after yelling at some teenagers got
75. 2:40himself a a megaphone
76. 2:42a little baby megaphone and a speaker
77. 2:44and i haven't seen this yet but he's
78. 2:46fine
79. 2:47he found somebody to go out there with
80. 2:50so are you guys volunteers let's see
81. 2:52austin who are you mass man
82. 2:53i'm a lifeguard for barnes well this is
83. 2:56fake ass
84. 2:57are you okay i know alex jones you flyer
85. 3:01[Laughter]
86. 3:04impromptu he's got a camera following
87. 3:07him this whole time
88. 3:09this is these are the alex jones players
89. 3:12right here
90. 3:14this is the alex jones of here playhouse
91. 3:18you serious dog jones you
92. 3:21you are the worst actor
93. 3:26i thought i was about to watch some real
94. 3:31showed [ __ ] here and you asked her
95. 3:33where's her reservation
96. 3:35we live in america i like the way even
97. 3:37the actors he hired don't give a [ __ ]
98. 3:41what do you want to say do we have lines
99. 3:42no you just sit there look it's all
100. 3:45about him
101. 3:47you know they probably had lives and
102. 3:49everything and he just came and just
103. 3:51took over
104. 3:52i mean you see the editing on this yeah
105. 3:56everybody had to say no no no cut out
106. 3:58when they say that because if they if
107. 4:00they
108. 4:00get a line we got to pay them
109. 4:04they probably had a script and lines and
110. 4:05everything and he just went in there and
111. 4:07just
112. 4:07took over just after the fool they just
113. 4:09gave up there's like
114. 4:10well we getting paid
115. 4:20y'all talking about spider-man shaymin
116. 4:22i'll be spider-man right now
117. 4:24you fat ass your big ass niece you the
118. 4:27main one need to be at home
119. 4:29your big ass high blood pressure ass out
120. 4:31here yelling on this toy look at this
121. 4:32special price microphone right
122. 4:34that's what i'm talking about that
123. 4:35little baby megaphone he's got maybe
124. 4:37he's so big he just looks small
125. 4:39look like he's about to eat a chicken
126. 4:41wing
127. 4:43go home before you kill yourself or
128. 4:47don't all right yeah all right go out
129. 4:49there and that's a goddamn fool
130. 4:51and do us all a favor pass the hell out
131. 4:54it's 105 degrees out there and his big
132. 4:56ass out there about to get heat stroke
133. 4:59i'm sorry if that makes y'all mad but
134. 5:01this dude man
135. 5:04you know he's a hell it doesn't walk in
136. 5:06health hazard to himself and everybody
137. 5:08else
138. 5:08he was he was a you know a kind of a
139. 5:10good looking dude back in the
140. 5:12access tv days yeah yeah
141. 5:15when he wasn't hitting behind a [ __ ]
142. 5:17hundred pounds of flesh and and
143. 5:18and fat
144. 5:22[ __ ] look like cookie dough and
145. 5:23a blue shirt
146. 5:25[Music]
147. 5:29come on spiderman
148. 5:33i am sorry man his big ass needs to be
149. 5:35at
150. 5:37if home if somebody has to shame him get
151. 5:38him to go home then so be it
152. 5:40he is too big and too unhealthy to be
153. 5:43out here doing this [ __ ] and it's too
154. 5:44goddamn hot
155. 5:46yeah he's a fa he's he's he's the one to
156. 5:48go out and they first want to go and
157. 5:50talk about
158. 5:50crisis crisis actors yeah first one when
159. 5:53something serious is going on too
160. 5:54something really he's the first one to
161. 5:55talk about crisis actors
162. 5:57yeah it's like oh that's why you got the
163. 5:58idea why because you're doing it yeah
164. 6:02i tell you what if those are crisis
165. 6:03actors they're way better than the
166. 6:05mother
167. 6:05guy right here grab hoax
168. 6:09cobit 19 is a scam is that your iq
169. 6:13one finger now she might have been real
170. 6:17you know i thought that too but that was
171. 6:19like um that sounds like a line he
172. 6:21practiced
173. 6:22but believe nothing exactly yeah when it
174. 6:24comes to this yeah he's like i got this
175. 6:26great one
176. 6:27when a man comes and i go in here and
177. 6:29the apd told me no it's not enforceable
178. 6:31do you see that's what i'm talking about
179. 6:33take your big ass
180. 6:35home look look at this [ __ ]
181. 6:41look at this i told you moist oh that's
182. 6:44all that sweat all that sweat
183. 6:46all that perspiration right there as big
184. 6:49as out there doing this
185. 6:51go home and sit down man and the thing
186. 6:53he's done this before
187. 6:55all this [ __ ] he's pulling man it's
188. 6:56a stunt just like everything else he
189. 6:58does
190. 6:58you're gonna believe in him look if even
191. 7:01if you were following alex jones
192. 7:03for a long time believe it it's [ __ ]
193. 7:05when you look at this video and be like
194. 7:06you know what
195. 7:07this motherfucker's a phony it looks
196. 7:08like one of those those things that the
197. 7:10wrestlers will will shoot
198. 7:11that are outside the ring like like yeah
199. 7:15just pull up in the car and yeah beat
200. 7:17people i'm surprised somebody
201. 7:19pull up with a [ __ ] forklift and pick
202. 7:20his ass up and drop them
203. 7:22like like they've done before like stone
204. 7:23cold did somebody one time
205. 7:27um look at this
206. 7:29nipples look like he's lactating nipples
207. 7:32just sweating
208. 7:34just this is this is a goddamn shame
209. 7:38god damn aviator glasses on no it's not
210. 7:41enforceable
211. 7:42you can go on in yeah
212. 7:45people he's done this before
213. 7:49and it's in this again damn if you're
214. 7:51gonna follow
215. 7:53if you're gonna follow a cult leader or
216. 7:55a [ __ ] idiot at least follow one that
217. 7:57can
218. 7:58be as a better actor more believable
219. 8:01yeah who can be more convincing he's
220. 8:02done this before
221. 8:05let me see here alex jones
222. 8:08because uh he always trying to make
223. 8:10himself seem like the hero
224. 8:12too uh the long voice for justice
225. 8:15yeah yeah it was let me see here
226. 8:19there was one time he tried to act like
227. 8:21he was a goddamn vigilante or something
228. 8:24no no come on you're not an intellectual
229. 8:26you're a fake of the fraud
230. 8:34yeah i would if you could see the whole
231. 8:37thing like yeah
232. 8:38he tried to it was staged that guy was
233. 8:40an actor
234. 8:41so maybe this whole thing flipping him
235. 8:42off is yeah
236. 8:45he is an actor i played a video about
237. 8:48young turks i didn't want to play
238. 8:49because
239. 8:50everybody's gonna think like oh you
240. 8:51picked the you picked
241. 8:53uh uh left-leaning
242. 8:56platform to talk about him that's not
243. 8:57really it it's just i'm pulling up
244. 8:59because i have nothing else to play
245. 9:01let me see here those white slimes
246. 9:08i think this that's why people are
247. 9:09saying it's fake because i think he took
248. 9:11his coffee and slapped out his hand
249. 9:13you know theatrics yeah
250. 9:16you're a dumbass you [ __ ] off
251. 9:19you're an intellectual dumbass who
252. 9:20watches mainstream media
253. 9:23anyways
254. 9:27go watch mainstream media okay
255. 9:30[ __ ] off i am [ __ ] off yeah really
256. 9:32watch that yo dumbass
257. 9:34i want you know now this thing you know
258. 9:37the [ __ ] is real when his ass falls over
259. 9:39in the ground
260. 9:40trying to breathe
261. 9:43covering his own [ __ ] moisture then
262. 9:45that's when you know the [ __ ] is real
263. 9:47cause all this other [ __ ] right here is
264. 9:48fake that he's doing here's
265. 9:50okay so here's my problem with uh
266. 9:51because i look it's funny
267. 9:54no anytime alex jones is acting a fool i
268. 9:57always get some entertainment out of
269. 9:58because the more he's doing it the more
270. 9:59you're starting to like a dumbass
271. 10:00this is this is just getting desperate i
272. 10:02mean i'm sure he's still making money
273. 10:03doing all this stuff and
274. 10:04i'm sure corona has been a blessing for
275. 10:06him for all these conspiracy theories
276. 10:07out there
277. 10:08but you know yeah i can get a laugh from
278. 10:10this but you know still [ __ ] this guy
279. 10:12man
280. 10:1319 is a power grab
281. 10:16they always talking about the big state
282. 10:20big government talking about this right
283. 10:22here but for people
284. 10:23when reality hits and people are really
285. 10:25getting oppressed and brutalized and
286. 10:27murdered and whatnot
287. 10:28never work he ain't out there this
288. 10:29[ __ ] point at a goddamn piece
289. 10:31of wood talking
290. 10:32i want this removed but you know a long
291. 10:33time ago he was
292. 10:35always talking about big state so i was
293. 10:38talking about the cops
294. 10:39yeah and the corrupt government and the
295. 10:41corrupt government he was
296. 10:43always talking about corruption to
297. 10:44government he was always talking about
298. 10:46corruption of the cops
299. 10:47he was always talking about cops and
300. 10:48shady and whatnot and today
301. 10:50what is he doing not a goddamn thing
302. 10:52well even there he's like there needs to
303. 10:53be civil
304. 10:54civil disobedience over this this stan
305. 10:57or whatever and
306. 10:58charging admission to the green belt
307. 11:00which i don't even know [ __ ] he's
308. 11:01talking about
309. 11:02and yet when there was something going
310. 11:05on
311. 11:06for months with real civil disobedience
312. 11:09and not a word not a [ __ ] word no we
313. 11:11went out there
314. 11:12but he'll be like everybody else and
315. 11:14protest against that piece of cloth on
316. 11:16your face
317. 11:17simplest thing in the [ __ ] world but
318. 11:19he would but you see him
319. 11:21you know you always he's not out there
320. 11:22doing real [ __ ] he's not out there
321. 11:24for the people like he always says he is
322. 11:27i
323. 11:27[ __ ] this guy man well i can't wait
324. 11:30for that video and he just runs out of
325. 11:31breath and just
326. 11:32and everybody just keep looking [ __ ]
327. 11:35this part of the act
328. 11:37i guess he wrote this into the script no
329. 11:39really god damn it i'm [ __ ] having a
330. 11:40heart attack
331. 11:41[ __ ] call the police
332. 11:45jesus he's good today is anybody gonna
333. 11:47yell cut
334. 11:49[ __ ] out wow man he's really good today
335. 11:56jeez he must have been really rehearsed
336. 11:57he's he's gotten better he's up this
337. 11:59game
338. 12:00you [ __ ] [ __ ] i'm dying
339. 12:01[Laughter]
340. 12:07hey yeah carmen we get that video
341. 12:10[Laughter]
342. 12:12[Music]