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ALAN RITCHSON: Biggest Fear with Reacher, Blessing and Curse of Bipolar & Connecting Through Pain — Transcript

by Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum · 13,068 words · 1,981 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:02You're listening to Inside of You with
0:03Michael Rosenbaum and Ryan's not here
0:06again for the second week. He's hanging
0:08out with his dad and playing some music
0:10and we miss him, but we also have Bryce
0:12here. Bryce? Well.
0:13Hi. Thanks.
0:14Thanks for all your hard work, man. Of
0:15course. You see my face more than
0:17anybody. I'm sorry.
0:19Yeah, I'm sorry.
0:20We got a great guest for you this week.
0:22Boy, is it a really great guest. It's a
0:24really good episode.
0:25It is. If you're here for Alan Ritchson,
0:28listen.
0:29I hope that if you love it enough,
0:31you'll say I'm going to give this
0:32podcast a chance. This is a little
0:34podcast that with the patrons who
0:36support the podcast,
0:37patreon.com/insideofyou,
0:39our loyal listeners have kept this
0:41podcast afloat and if you like this
0:44episode, I encourage you to just
0:47subscribe and listen. That's
0:49Yeah, if I'm giving you some
0:50entertainment and you like it,
0:52give it a chance.
0:53And if in some way you're here for Alan
0:55and you didn't hear his first
0:56appearance, listen after cuz that's
0:59another one of the best episodes. It
1:00really is. It really is. In this
1:02episode, I didn't think it could be any
1:03better and he gets into some really
1:06important things that I was blown away
1:09by that makes me put bipolar in puts it
1:13in a different perspective cuz it really
1:15makes it was
1:17easily understood. He made it
1:19put it in layman's terms. He uses a word
1:22like um
1:24it shouldn't be called bipolar, it
1:25should be called unipolar. Mhm. And I
1:27just found it really interesting um how
1:29he describes it. Yeah, it was
1:31interesting hearing him talk about it
1:32with his family dynamic, too, cuz he's
1:34not just a guy with bipolar, he's also a
1:36father and a husband. It's interesting.
1:38Absolutely. Um if you want to follow us,
1:41which is important, at
1:42insideofyoupodcast on Facebook and
1:44Instagram, atinsideofyoupod on the
1:46Twitter and you can watch these episodes
1:48on YouTube for the time being and I
1:51encourage you again to join Patreon and
1:53support the podcast. There's so many
1:54perks. I write you little messages, I
1:56send packages of things. There's Zooms,
1:59there's There's
2:01YouTube lives, there's with me where you
2:04ask questions from me.
2:06You get to ask questions on [ __ ] talking
2:09to guests. You get your name shouted out
2:12each episode.
2:14A lot of perks and you help out the
2:15show. I figure if you're getting Hulu
2:17for $14.99, you could be a patron. Yep.
2:20Right? For whatever, $0.99.
2:23$14.99. Boy, would that help.
2:26But there's all different patrons, so
2:27whatever you can do or just listen,
2:29honestly. Um great episode and you can
2:32go to my Linktree lastly before we get
2:35into this episode on Instagram at the
2:37Michael Rosenbaum and it has everything.
2:38My Cameo, if you want to do Cameo, if
2:40you want to see what cons I'm going to,
2:42my live podcast with Krysten Ritter,
2:44Breaking Bad, Jessica Jones, B in
2:47Apartment 23. She's my guest at a live
2:49podcast at the Regent Theater January
2:5124th, 7:30 p.m. or 7:00 p.m. Look at it
2:55on the Instagram link and there's a meet
2:57and greet with me and Krysten and so
3:00much more, so get tickets. It will
3:02eventually sell sell out, I'm hoping.
3:05Um
3:06and that's that and the Inside of You
3:08online store has a bunch of groovy
3:09stuff, too. So, without further ado,
3:11let's just get into it. Let's get inside
3:13of Alan Ritchson. It's my point of view.
3:18You're listening to Inside of You with
3:21Michael Rosenbaum.
3:30Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was
3:31not recorded in front of a live studio
3:33audience. First of all, it's a happy
3:36birthday. Your birthday's in a couple
3:37days here.
3:38Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, thanks. Oh,
3:41that's That's sweet of you.
3:4240 years old.
3:44I'll be 41. 41, so I'm 10 years older
3:47than you. A little older than 10 years.
3:49Gross.
3:49You're so [ __ ] handsome. I mean, do
3:51you do you feel 41 or do you still feel
3:54like you're like in your 20s or 30s?
3:57You know what I mean? No, dude. Um
4:00I've aged so much. Life is
4:03Not Not Not necessarily I mean,
4:05definitely you know, I'm I'm um
4:09I'm I'm I'm settling into a body that
4:12doesn't do things like it used to. In
4:13fact, I just put a post up on Instagram
4:15about a run that I went on where I was
4:18really wrestling with sort of the um
4:20just just being content with what I'm
4:22able to do these days, you know? And
4:24part of that is because of age, but part
4:26of it is because of the size that I'm at
4:27now, you know, I used to run a lot, you
4:29know? But for a guy who in my 20s and
4:32early 30s, really, I would go rip like
4:3413-mile runs just for the fun of it
4:37um around the hills of LA and like run
4:39really quick clips.
4:41I can't do that kind of stuff anymore.
4:43Like now it takes a lot of effort for me
4:45to to to run 4 or 5 miles and it's
4:47painful and it leaves me sore for a
4:48couple days and you know,
4:50um that's age, you know? But there's
4:53also, you know, there's also the life
4:55experience that I've had and there's
4:56been so much of it.
4:58Um the work, the jobs that I've had,
5:00where life has taken me, um the the
5:01problems that I faced at home and
5:05at work and it's um
5:07it's all helped me really settle into
5:09this place where I'm like, you know
5:10what? I'm
5:11a middle-aged man now.
5:13And we've got to we've got to learn to
5:16take things slow.
5:17We've got to learn to accept other
5:19people's
5:21other people's best and that might be
5:23average, you know?
5:25It's a conversation I have with my
5:26psychiatrist all the time.
5:29Average is hard.
5:31Average is hard and I feel like I've
5:34been given a motor that that burns above
5:36average, like at a speed that's too much
5:38for most people to handle
5:40um
5:41and a mind that kind of races at a pace
5:43that's like a lot faster and so it's
5:45hard to slow down for people sometimes,
5:47you know, and go like, okay, let me let
5:48them figure this out. I've already
5:49thought about this.
5:51Um
5:52and uh
5:53uh
5:54learning you know, like learning to to
5:56be content and and grateful for the
5:58gifts that I have and accept just
6:01all the people in my life and how
6:02different and diverse they are. It's
6:04just that that is what you know, I feel
6:06like a middle-aged man now.
6:08Well, I'm 51.
6:10of this, yeah. I'm 51. This one comedian
6:12says uh I think I've said this before,
6:15but he says you know,
6:17they say when they say 30's the new 20.
6:20They say 40 40's the new 30.
6:23But when you're 50,
6:25you're just 50. No nothing new about
6:28that [ __ ] The only difference is you
6:29got a gray hair in your lingual.
6:31Is that true? Is that true?
6:32you said something you wear it real
6:34well, man. You wear it really well.
6:36Look, this is This is happening the day
6:38after Thanksgiving, so I am
6:40I'm like in a cloud, like all the food
6:42and my friend made Jell-O shots and I
6:45had some pot taffies and I just had fun
6:48and I karaoked and I So, it is then So,
6:5050's the new 20. This really Now it's
6:53coming full circle.
6:54Well, 50 might be the new 20 last night,
6:56but the day after
6:58is 50's the new 80.
7:01Because that's how I feel. I feel like
7:03every like my neck, my back. Wasn't
7:06there a song? My neck, my back, my
7:09We can't say that.
7:10Yeah, I didn't say it. I didn't say it.
7:12Kids watch. But you said something
7:14important a second ago. You just said
7:16you know,
7:17in layman's terms was something like uh
7:20you just do what you can. You do your
7:22best. You don't you don't need to push
7:25yourself. If you're in pain, like you
7:26know, I just that's what I got from him.
7:28I'm like, hey, whatever I You said like
7:30whatever you can do is what you do. It's
7:33not about
7:34oh, I have to be this guy. I have to be
7:36able to run 13 miles. It's like, hey, if
7:39it's a half a mile, a mile, I'm doing
7:41it. I'm feeling something. I'm going to
7:43go back. I'm going to home. I'm going to
7:44rest. I'm going to ice. I'm going to do
7:45whatever it takes to take care of
7:47yourself. I mean, I'm I'm guessing
7:49that's what you do cuz you said
7:50something with your size.
7:51Yeah, no, totally.
7:52Yes, yes. I mean, there's like, you
7:54know, people talk about the power of now
7:56all the time, right? I mean, we've got
7:57the Eckhart Tolles of the world um
8:00shouting from the rooftops that we
8:01should focus on the now, right? Well,
8:03what is the now? It's meeting ourselves
8:05where we are in that moment and there we
8:07have to bring some compassion
8:11for ourselves. There's
8:13And I you know, for for for the longest
8:15time
8:15uh
8:16I would punish myself with the kind of
8:19abuse
8:20um like even in the gym where I go like,
8:22if I die on this treadmill, I've won.
8:25That was my mental philosophy working
8:27out. If I die doing this workout, I
8:29I I beat the game. Like I won. And
8:32that's there's no love in that. There's
8:34no love in that. So so we've got to find
8:36the the the fine line between pushing
8:38ourselves to be better tomorrow than we
8:40are today, but we can get there by
8:41finding compassion for who we are and
8:43meeting ourselves
8:44at our best where we are right now, you
8:46know? So,
8:48um
8:48yeah, that's important and and where I'm
8:50at right now physically, you know, I'm
8:52I'm wearing a lot of weight for the role
8:54of Reacher. How much do you weigh? 240?
8:56Wait, 240 what?
8:57240 I mean, I'm probably actually you
8:59know, I've been working out pretty hard.
9:00I'm probably 245 now, but
9:02um
9:03a little heavier now. But yeah, I'm I'm
9:04That's a lot of weight, you know? So,
9:05like for me to be running around the
9:06hills
9:07um not easy. What What What hurts? What
9:11a What a big guys uh you know, you got a
9:14lot of these guys like my my friend Dave
9:16Bautista and you got Jason Momoa and you
9:18got cuz I really put you on that. You're
9:20on that tier. To me, you're like you're
9:24super talented and your comedic timing
9:26is amazing. So, I'm like you know, and I
9:28want to get into that. I want to get
9:29into your trajectory and all that, but
9:31in terms of like
9:33your size, like is it really hard on
9:36certain parts of your body to be that
9:37big?
9:38Um I think it's hard on the heart.
9:41You know? I mean, um think about like
9:45So, there's a couple things that I start
9:46to feel. It's um the lung capacity feels
9:49like I just can't keep up, you know?
9:51Like if I I did sprints this morning and
9:53it's just amazing how quick I'm I'm
9:55like, "Oh,
9:56but it's really winded and it didn't
9:58wasn't always like that, but I'm trying
9:59to get a lot of oxygen to a lot of
10:01muscles.
10:02But uh you know, I weigh 240 lb and I'm
10:06you know, if I'm climbing there's some
10:07hills out here where I am where I'll
10:08I'll run these hills. If I'm climbing up
10:10a hill, it's a little bit like doing
10:12lunges
10:13for 20 minutes straight. I mean, throw
10:16for most people throw 280 on your
10:18shoulders and do 20 minutes of lunges.
10:20Your muscles are going to explode.
10:23So, I feel like when I'm running, I
10:25start to feel my muscles aching just
10:27because it's like it's just I'm pushing
10:29a lot of weight
10:30one one one step at a time, you know,
10:32without without breaking and you feel
10:33you know, you feel that. So, it's tough.
10:35It's You got to make adjustments when
10:37you're you're wearing this kind of size
10:38and some of the guys you mentioned like
10:39Momoa and all them
10:41you know, um
10:42you know, he's got his out you know,
10:43he's like a world-class rock climber,
10:46you know, so he's there's some
10:47activities that he does he like insane
10:49like a spider monkey. Um
10:51uh you know, but I don't think he's out
10:52there running.
10:54You know, so I've got to make some you
10:55know, we've got to make adjustments for
10:56that kind of thing. Do you think that
10:58there's a time in your life where you'll
11:01sort of I mean, because to maintain that
11:04and a lot of times you look at these
11:05guys and they go, "If they ever stop
11:06working out, well, they're probably
11:08going to be fat."
11:10Yeah. Right? So, it I had a Have you
11:13ever had a DEXA scan?
11:15Uh no.
11:17What is that?
11:17know what that Do you have you ever A
11:18DEXA scan is um
11:21a fancy new scan uh it's a little bit
11:23like it's kind of like laying in an MRI
11:25machine kind of you know, but it's
11:27I did Prenuvo where they a body scan.
11:30A body scan, right? And it'll tell you
11:32your muscular composition, your body fat
11:34composition. It tells you like like
11:36you'll know all your sizes measurements,
11:38but you'll also get your caloric uh your
11:40caloric values. So, you're going to know
11:42exactly what you need to maintain your
11:44size. If you want to gain weight, how
11:46you know, so for me, I'm just shy of
11:494,000 calories a day just to maintain.
11:53Just to maintain. So, um so if I if I
11:55stop working out for a little bit and
11:56I'm still on that,
11:58you know, I've trained my body to eat
11:594,000 calories a day, it would take me
12:01about 3 weeks to blow up, you know.
12:03Um so, it does take a lot of
12:05consistency. I work out 5 days a week,
12:06you know, it's got to be a lifestyle.
12:08But what we talked about last time, I I
12:10think I mentioned last time we spoke,
12:12which by the way, I'm so grateful to
12:15have been a part of this once before.
12:17Yeah. Um I have so many people stop me
12:20um not about Reacher, not about Thad
12:23from Blue Mountain State, which I get a
12:24lot of, uh stop me just for the
12:26conversation that we had together on
12:28your podcast. Um Me, too. And I think it
12:31really touched a lot of lives and uh I
12:33just think it's uh you know, again, just
12:34to be I'm grateful for what you do Thank
12:37you. and grateful to be here again, but
12:39um but the last time we talked, I think
12:41that I think I mentioned that I had just
12:42started taking testosterone.
12:44Wasn't that true? I I think so. I can't
12:47remember exactly, but maybe yeah.
12:49So, I had just started. So, after season
12:511, I broken my body um trying to build
12:54it up and and trying to carry the
12:56schedule
12:57uh that we had and uh I had a broken
13:00shoulder and I was taking a a a you
13:02know, an a very powerful NSAID for that
13:04and that all of it together collectively
13:06just killed my testosterone. So, I had
13:08to get on testosterone because my blood
13:09levels were non-existent.
13:12Since then, I still take testosterone.
13:15It has made life
13:17so much easier for me in my 40s to do
13:21the things that I need to do for my job
13:22like keep weight on at 240 lb of like
13:25solid muscle. Um so, that's a big part
13:28of the secret and I'm not going to lie
13:30about that.
13:31No. I want people to know cuz I want
13:33people in their 40s, 30s late 30s, early
13:3540s to know this is a legitimate
13:37opportunity for us. Like we should it's
13:40a like a cheat code, but this is your
13:41body's you know, this is your your
13:43body's own material. So, just help it.
13:46You know what I mean? This is good
13:47stuff. You know, working with a doctor,
13:49get your blood If your blood levels are
13:50fine, great, you don't need it. Um you
13:52know, there are side effects to be you
13:54know, it's hard on some of the organs if
13:55you aren't careful What's a good level
13:58What's a good level of testosterone?
14:00Like there's normal levels levels like
14:02up to like 1,100 or whatever. Like what
14:05is
14:05Yeah.
14:06What's your level?
14:07numbers change. I I understand the way I
14:09understand it, the numbers have evolved
14:11down. So, I think it used to be between
14:13like 500 and 2,000 was like healthy
14:15levels. I think it shrunk a lot. I think
14:18now if you're if you're like in the
14:201,500 range, you're really high, but I
14:22think you want to be some I I think you
14:24want to be somewhere between like 500
14:25and 1,000 and I'm sure some people will
14:27correct me and I hope so.
14:28Um
14:29and uh so, we stay right at the upper
14:32end of that scale. Right.
14:33Um uh you know, with my doctor, but it's
14:36it's it's it's made it so I don't have
14:38to put so much wear and tear on myself
14:41um in order to grow or develop or
14:43maintain, you know, so it's it's it's a
14:45big part of it. Yeah, and I want to add
14:46to the conversation that we had because
14:49it was unexpected. It was one of those
14:50things where you and I are talking the
14:52first conversation and then you open up
14:54about how you know, you almost tried to
14:56end your life. And I was shocked, taken
15:00aback and also I felt this wave of just
15:03appreciation, admiration and
15:07boy, do people come up to me as well and
15:10tell me how
15:13just how much they were affected by it
15:15and a lot of people don't open up. And I
15:18and I it's not a prerequisite for to
15:20come on the podcast that you have to
15:22just give you know, throw everything
15:23out, but you're that kind of guy. You're
15:26that you know, since I've known you,
15:28you're just sort of this is this is me
15:31and I'm flawed and uh you know, we all
15:34make mistakes and we all have dark times
15:38in our lives but I got through it.
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20:00I got through it and you you speak so
20:01openly about it that I you know when
20:03people ask me what's your favorite
20:05podcast episode
20:07this has got to be up there. I've done
20:08over 300 and I'm like this is this is
20:11certainly you know
20:12Which shows just shows how much pain
20:15we're all in, right? Like how much we
20:16all suffer to figure out how to make
20:19this work, you know? Um or how to um
20:23you know, create the least amount of
20:25trouble for for other people or however
20:27we go about thinking about our escapism,
20:29our wishes, our fantasies, our
20:32sins, like whatever it is that we get
20:33into, um you know, we're all really
20:36struggling to figure it out. And to
20:40to withhold the truth about what I've
20:42experienced, I think would be living a
20:44huge lie.
20:45And I I think would be missing the
20:47entire purpose of life, which is
20:50for us to figure out how to enjoy this
20:51together, you know? Um
20:53uh to connect with one another. And
20:55that's not my like natural disposition.
20:57Like I'm I'm I'm like a really reserved
20:59person in life, you know?
21:01And it's odd because I you go like,
21:03"Well, you chose a career where you like
21:04way out front in front of a lot of
21:06people." But that I was just an
21:08opportunity to go like, "Oh, I really do
21:09enjoy I really love what I do. I love
21:11being on set in front of the camera
21:13figuring out how to master this
21:15character or story."
21:17I could completely do it in isolation if
21:19I could take care of my family with a
21:21living. I could do it in isolation where
21:23nobody sees it and I'd be just as happy.
21:25Um I don't like the fame. The fame
21:27aspect is super toxic, man. Um and so I
21:30don't you know, I don't like that, but
21:33but I will use it
21:35if it will bring us closer together, if
21:37it will help us heal, if it will help us
21:39feel safe or like understood or less
21:42alone. And I think you know, I don't
21:45want to talk about it any more than
21:46anybody else does, but like I have to
21:48make myself uncomfortable and go there.
21:50Um
21:51because
21:52nobody's going to connect with me over
21:53like money. You can be like, you know,
21:55like, "Oh, look at how much money I'm
21:56making, dude. I'm doing so good. Like
21:58everything's so great. I got a family. I
22:00got this. I just bought a PS5." Like
22:03nobody nobody's going to be like, "I
22:04feel so seen."
22:08That's not what we connect through. We
22:09connect through our pain, truly. If we
22:11really want to, we have to connect
22:12through our pain. And no one's going to
22:14start that conversation for us. We have
22:16to be the one to start it. In our
22:18personal lives, we have to be willing to
22:20have deeper conversations where we go
22:23"You know man, I've been through some
22:24really tough times. Here's what I've
22:26learned." And then then somebody goes,
22:28"Me, too." That's where That's where
22:30That's where the the you know, we crave
22:31the deep connection. People talk all the
22:33time about like, "We're so torn apart.
22:34We're so divided. Our country will never
22:36be the same." Man, it starts with us in
22:39these little conversations that are
22:40honest. Yeah, you know, um last night
22:43and this is this is uh
22:45air airing a little later, but it was
22:47Thanksgiving and I told you that. But it
22:50was the first time I always every year
22:51we go around and say what we're thankful
22:53for.
22:55And
22:56I couldn't There was 27 28 people over
22:59my house.
23:00And we're in the back and I said,
23:01"Everybody come on." And I it was hard
23:03to gather them. They're like, "No, no,
23:04no, come out. We're doing this. We do
23:06this every year. We're going to do it.
23:09We're going to be thankful." You know,
23:11Farley asked. And I
23:13And I had everybody go around and talk.
23:17And I I never do this, but I went to
23:19each person and said what I'm thankful
23:21for. I've never done that.
23:23But everyone went We went around
23:26and
23:27at least five people opened up and were
23:30crying, which
23:32a lot of people start crying about, you
23:35know, they just you know, my friend Alex
23:36lost her dad recently. Um you know,
23:39there was all these stor And it was just
23:41so beautiful
23:44to see because everybody's like, "Oh, I
23:46just want to say I'm thankful for this
23:47and thank so thanks Michael for being
23:48here." It just felt
23:51it felt real. It felt every just
23:55vulnerable and raw. And as much fun as
23:58we were having and all these things, it
24:00was just a a great moment and I love to
24:02see when people can be so uh
24:06so just true. Not only to themselves,
24:09but in front of others. And it it was a
24:11beautiful thing. So And it takes so much
24:13courage. It takes so much bravery
24:16um to to discuss even the simplest uh
24:19pains.
24:21Uh and you leave feeling like you know
24:23them better, right? Like now you really
24:25know them, you know? We know the thing
24:28that's behind a lot of their motives to
24:30be kind
24:31you know, to be quick-witted, uh to be
24:33short-tempered, whatever it is. Like you
24:35know, once we start to know people's
24:36pain, we really start to know them. And
24:38now we can understand and now empathy
24:40can enter in and all of it all of it.
24:42But um you know, I think it's our
24:44responsibility to be like you did to
24:46foster that conversation, you know?
24:48Yeah, it was awesome. It was truly
24:50awesome. You know, I look
24:52I want to we can get into all this stuff
24:54again, but um
24:56so your publicist sent me the screener
24:58for Reacher.
25:00And I loved the first season and I love
25:03the world that it's in and it's like And
25:05I'm not I mean I want to toot your horn
25:08because
25:09Wait, that didn't That didn't sound
25:11right. That didn't sound right.
25:12fine. I'm with it. You can if I mean, I
25:14guess that's what
25:15you are the glue. Everyone around you is
25:17all great, but like it's so fun to watch
25:22you. I'm waiting for your little
25:23smart-ass remarks, your little
25:26your little subtle things, your little
25:28But like even in this first episode,
25:30which airs December 10th on Amazon, is
25:32that right? Uh December 15th, I think.
25:3415th, December 15th. Okay. Um and you
25:38don't need to tell people to watch it
25:39cuz they're going to watch it. Um I just
25:41felt like another gripping story. You're
25:44watching you're watching it all come
25:46together and there's this twist at the
25:48end where you're just like going Oh, now
25:51I know what we're in store for the rest
25:52of the season. And it's And by the way,
25:56my friend Joe's out there with my dogs
25:58helping me out today and he's also a
25:59fan. So it's like it's pretty cool when
26:02I'm around me all my friends are fans of
26:04the show.
26:05But it's you. It's like it's like this
26:07is like the perfect role
26:10for you and it's
26:12you're the badass. You have heart.
26:15You're a vigilante. I mean, you do you
26:17do good things like you know, the old
26:19woman at the or the woman at the the
26:22cash the ATM and it's There's a weird
26:25thing because you're not being too sappy
26:28or too You're doing something like
26:30that's right that you know it's right.
26:32You're taking care of business, but
26:34you're still in your own
26:36it's
26:37I I really love your character. I think
26:40it's so good and that's why when I said
26:42Jason Momoa and Dave Bautista
26:45you you can be doing all the things that
26:47they're doing. You should you you will
26:48have the movie career because you have
26:51that and that's a charm and that's
26:53something I believe that's innate and
26:56something that you just have that you've
26:58always had inside of you, but now you've
27:00gotten to do a role where you're not
27:02just the [ __ ] you know, this guy
27:05doing this. Now you're playing uh
27:07a dynamic character that you just shine
27:10and you don't even have It seems like
27:12you're not even trying, which I love.
27:15You're not overdoing it, which could
27:18easily be done and turn viewers off.
27:20Your character stays true to himself.
27:22you know, he's it's a dangerous
27:24character cuz um he's he's so stoic and
27:27in his own head. Uh you know, his mind
27:29working like a computer all the time. Um
27:32and he's so kind of emotionally
27:36unavailable compared to most most human
27:39beings. It could leave
27:41I mean, my big fear was that I would not
27:44be able to create an interesting
27:45character for the screen. That people
27:48would be like
27:50bored out of their mind watching the
27:51show cuz this guy's not charismatic or
27:52interesting enough cuz there's on
27:54physically externally there's not a lot
27:57going on until there's just until
28:00there's a an explosion of action that we
28:02kind of look forward to, but
28:04really he's a rather still character um
28:06externally. And uh I'm glad to hear you
28:09say that you enjoy watching him so much
28:12and you feel those layers that are going
28:13on, you know? But um
28:16yeah, it's it really is a dream role. Um
28:18and it's one of those that I just
28:20sometimes I do sit back and think like I
28:22am so lucky
28:24um that this role found me and I get to
28:26play a role I feel like I was truly born
28:28to play, you know? Um there are others I
28:31you know, there's a lot of scripts that
28:32we're a part of attached to right now
28:34that are characters nothing like Reacher
28:35that I cannot wait to explore and
28:38showcase. Um but this this one I think
28:40will always be like you know, just
28:43um the cornerstone of of um
28:46my my career. Yeah, and I think that um
28:50I I know for a fact that you we talked
28:52about, you know, your sh you just
28:54mentioned it your shoulder, you were
28:55exhausted, you were doing all these
28:57things. You were stressed out of your
28:58mind the first season and it was just
29:00like I I I remember talking to you at a
29:02con or something, you're like
29:04"Dude
29:05I don't I don't know if I can do I don't
29:07know if I can do this, man. I don't know
29:09if I could do that. I mean, this is
29:10genuinely like holy [ __ ] Uh what
29:13changed from the first season the sex
29:15sex season? Second season? Where
29:17This Yeah, the sex season was a lot more
29:19laid back. Yeah, a little more sexy.
29:23This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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29:44who, you know, "No one will understand
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31:48But, what changed in the second season
31:50where
31:50Um
31:52a lot, a lot. A lot. I mean, look, we,
31:54you know, we team around me. And, you
31:57know, you mentioned uh like you
31:59mentioned really enjoying the story in
32:00the show and the character and his
32:02mannerisms and that like the witty like
32:04smartass remark he makes that kind of
32:06you just you're waiting for him to tell
32:07his honest truth and
32:09the the those things that you're
32:11enjoying, you're really enjoying the
32:12minds of uh my creative team that's
32:15around me.
32:17Nick Santora, the showrunner, who does
32:18an unbelievable job bringing
32:21the Reacher to life that we know and
32:22love in the books. Um and it's difficult
32:24adapting that to TV and he knows just
32:26how to do it. And I'm fed by him. Um you
32:29know, and Don Granger at Skydance and
32:31Dana Goldberg at Skydance, all the you
32:32know, all the executive partners that
32:33are like really making sure we're
32:35picking the right books and all the you
32:36know,
32:38adapting it well for TV. Sam Hill, our
32:40producing director, um just you know,
32:42there are people around us that people
32:44cannot appreciate the way that I
32:46appreciate them that are making Reacher
32:48what it is for people to enjoy. Um
32:52I
32:53that has to be said. Um so, there's
32:56there's that. Um
32:58but we all collectively have figured out
33:00things that worked and didn't work about
33:01the first season
33:03and have pivoted. And um and also the
33:06pressure of the season um going into
33:09season 1 where everybody was like
33:12let me whisper to you what Reacher would
33:15do in this moment. And then I'm getting
33:16me getting that from 20 people at every
33:18every take. It was exhausting.
33:20Frustrating. And and it was necessary.
33:23Um but I don't have that because once
33:25the season came out, everybody goes, "We
33:27found it." And
33:29now there's this like just this level of
33:31enjoyment, you know, where where um
33:35that that pressure is gone and and now
33:36it's sort of like we get to enjoy seeing
33:38what Reacher would do in these
33:39situations as we make this thing
33:41together. Um that
33:43the pressure of like, "Are you Reacher?
33:45Are we are we telling
33:47Are are we show a showcasing the right
33:49image for Reacher, the tone, the
33:51personality, the voice, the mannerisms?
33:53Like are we making Reacher come to life
33:55on screen?" is
33:56um has been solved, you know. We're
33:59confidently settled into who this is and
34:01I understand this character now and what
34:03you know, so it's it's taken it's just
34:05made it a really enjoyable process now.
34:07Well, it seems like a lot of the stress,
34:09like you just said, came from
34:11uncertainty. It came from Did you go
34:15home at night sometimes and going, "I
34:17just I don't know if it's I'm giving
34:18them what they want. I don't know if
34:19this is the guy. I don't know what I'm
34:21Did you have to carry a lot of the
34:23stress, a lot of the the weight on you?"
34:25No pun intended. Man, I always felt like
34:28at the end of the day cuz I I worked so
34:31hard. People have no idea, dude. I I set
34:33up entirely new methods for how I can
34:35learn scenes so that I could learn
34:37everybody's line, including mine. Mhm.
34:40So, I would learn not just my lines, I
34:42would learn everybody else's. And by
34:44knowing the scene that well,
34:46it gave me the opportunity to have 20
34:49people tell me how they want me to do
34:50the scene and to pivot and do it that
34:52way. So, I left so many options on the
34:55table season 1. There was no question
34:56about like, "Did I get the right
34:58Reacher?" I knew there was some version
34:59of Reacher there. You just had take your
35:01pick. You know, and that that came from
35:05that that came from the work. So, it
35:06wasn't you know, it wasn't so much that.
35:07It was just um
35:10uh just
35:12uh just the sheer
35:14the the work load that it took to to to
35:16to be able to honor that that necessity,
35:19you know, was um uh it was it was a lot.
35:21It was a lot. Um
35:23and uh that part of the process is is
35:25gone now, you know. So, now I can
35:26approach it much more like any other
35:28project or film, you know, and that's um
35:31it just helps, you know.
35:32Yeah. What about what what what about
35:34the the family? Like your family. You've
35:36got You still live in Florida? Uh no, I
35:38just sold my place in Florida. Yeah. All
35:40right, so you're gone.
35:42Yeah, gone from Florida. I mean, look,
35:44here's the thing. I
35:45um since Reacher came out, there was
35:47there was this moment, you know, I I I I
35:49I fought really hard for Reacher. It
35:51took months and months and months to
35:53convince everybody that I was the guy.
35:56It
35:56you know, I was passed on the first time
35:58I think I mentioned to you maybe last. I
35:59was passed on in the very beginning
36:02beginning of the process.
36:04Like everybody was and I think that was
36:05because I'm 6'3", Reacher's 6'5". I
36:08think they were they were trying to you
36:09know, everybody's trying to get a super
36:10authentic version of Reacher on screen.
36:12And um
36:13so, there's always kind of an asterisk
36:15in my mind, you know,
36:16when it comes to this role.
36:18Uh but I had to really fight for that.
36:19And now now that we're in it, um the
36:23it's explo like the career's exploded
36:25because of uh
36:27what happened after Reacher aired.
36:28Beforehand, we were waiting. The whole
36:30town was like, "Let's see what happens
36:32when it airs."
36:33There was months of silence. Nobody was
36:35picking up the phone. There was no
36:36conversations about scripts.
36:37Oy. Um it it aired and within 48 hours,
36:40I had 20 offers on my desk from the
36:42biggest producers and studios in town.
36:44And it hasn't slowed up. I mean, it's
36:45still like every day we're getting phone
36:47calls from some of the the most
36:49legendary people you can imagine. Give
36:51me one.
36:51Give me one.
36:53So, I did a movie Okay, so I did a movie
36:55with Jerry Jerry Bruckheimer produced.
36:58Uh Guy Ritchie directed called Ministry
37:00of Ungentlemanly Warfare. This is a
37:01movie I did for Lionsgate domestic and
37:03Amazon international. Um so, some
37:05partners that I knew and had
37:06relationships with on this and some some
37:08new relationships formed. Um this movie
37:11is so good. You can't I cannot believe
37:13This movie is so fun. There's nothing
37:16like it. It's like Guy Ritchie at his
37:18best. Based on a true story, this World
37:20War
37:21uh heroes who um
37:24uh were essentially the first uh special
37:26ops. Um it's a it's a told in Guy
37:28Ritchie style.
37:29Wow. Um it's super cool.
37:32Um I just went into that feeling very
37:34lucky to be a part of this cast, you
37:35know. Henry Cavill and Alex Pettyfer and
37:38you know, Henry um just a great amazing
37:40cast. Um
37:43Jerry Bruckheimer called us cuz he saw
37:45the movie just a a few days ago. He saw
37:46he saw a cut of the film.
37:48And um you know, he said we have to do
37:51um we have to do something together like
37:52with you out front.
37:53Come on. I know Jerry a long time. I'm
37:56buddies with him, name drop, but like
37:58you like Jerry for Jerry to call someone
38:02to call an
38:02Do you know how like
38:04the like like like a high adventure,
38:06like nobody does high adventure better
38:08than this guy.
38:09No. No. And uh and uh and it's it's the
38:11toughest genre to make, I think. And you
38:14know, for him to call
38:15uh you know, one of the most legendary
38:17producers of all time, you know, you get
38:19those kind of calls, it's like there's
38:20just no better feeling, you know. Um
38:24and and it's it's because of Reacher
38:25that those kind of calls are coming in.
38:26I wouldn't have done that job if
38:28I my career had been fueled by Reacher.
38:30And Jerry is like the kind of guy he's
38:32so soft-spoken. He's so intimidating,
38:34but such a sweet guy, but he's just like
38:36and you when you meet him, I remember
38:37the first time cuz I I you know, I I had
38:40this I was in this hockey league. I'm
38:41still in the hockey league. And it was
38:43Jerry Bruckheimer hockey league on
38:44Sunday nights and I'd done it for 25
38:46years and
38:47and it's producers and actors and like,
38:49you know, Kiefer Sutherland and a bunch
38:50of, you know, and then pro players that
38:52play and it was competitive and fun.
38:55You know, the first time I'd go, "Jerry,
38:56hey, thanks for having me." He was like
38:58you know, he just nodded. And then a few
39:00months later, I'd be like, "Hey, Jerry."
39:01He's like, "How are you?"
39:03And then a year later
39:06two years, three years, it was like,
39:07"Hey, Michael."
39:09He knows my name.
39:10up to you. Four years.
39:12"Hey, Michael, you know,
39:14conversations and slowly I built this
39:16little friendship with Jerry. And you
39:19know, we'd go and he'd go, "You know, if
39:21you'd like to fly with us in my private
39:23jet to Vegas."
39:24I'm like, "Yeah."
39:26He goes, "Would you
39:27see the event?" And so, like I'm like,
39:29for Jerry to call you,
39:32you guys don't understand. Jerry
39:33Bruckheimer is not someone who just
39:36throws out compliments and throws out
39:38like for him to say, "And I want to work
39:39with you. We're going to do something
39:40else. We're going to" I mean, good for
39:42you. Good for you.
39:44man. I think that's an awesome I'm so
39:47happy because I know how hard you
39:50worked. I mean, I saw all the shows.
39:52Even Smallville was like one of the
39:53beginning things. And then all the
39:55little guest stars you did, and even up
39:57to like Supergirl and Titan or Legends
40:00of Tomorrow and all these other things
40:02you did. It's like you work and you work
40:04and you know that you believe in
40:05yourself and you go, "I'm bigger than
40:07what I'm being offered. I'm bigger than
40:10this." And you know it and the people
40:12who represent you know it, but you're
40:13like, "No, you don't understand." I I
40:15I've had those feelings. And then when
40:17you suddenly get validated, for me it's
40:19it's like
40:20it's almost like your dad who never says
40:23anything says, "Hey, I'm proud of you."
40:25It's like it just validates everything
40:27you've been thinking and it's such it's
40:29a beautiful thing and it's it's
40:30well-deserved.
40:31It is a Thank you. You know what's
40:33funny?
40:35Clowns, buddy.
40:36beautiful thing. I am you. You are
40:38hilarious.
40:42You know the secret
40:45to
40:46getting to that place for me
40:49was
40:51realizing
40:53I am bigger than my career. Not in an
40:57egotistical way, but right
40:59I am more
41:01than just my career.
41:03I had this
41:04We I think we may have dabbled in this
41:06last time we spoke, but I had this
41:08moment of existential crisis where I had
41:10to ask myself honest questions about
41:14who I was and where my identity lied in
41:17my life. And at the time it was in
41:20ambitions. It was in material things.
41:23I had been making a lot of money and I
41:25was surrounding myself with things that
41:27made me feel like, you know, created the
41:30illusion of success.
41:32Um success in the world's eyes. And
41:36my career was my fixation.
41:39And it was when I decided
41:42I'm
41:44more than my career. What if my career
41:46would have disappeared tomorrow? It
41:47happens to people all the time in our
41:48business.
41:50You're like, "What happened to that guy?
41:51They were the one. They were the star.
41:53They were out front and now they're
41:54what? Like working at Starbucks?"
41:57Nothing wrong with that. You know, but
41:58but like they disappear from
42:01from in front of the lens and suddenly
42:03you're like,
42:05"What do they worse now?" You know?
42:09We are much more than our careers.
42:13We are so much more than our careers. We
42:14sell ourselves so short
42:17when we
42:19settle into a job and say like, "This is
42:21who I am right now."
42:22And maybe someday, you know, maybe we
42:24have a dream that someday we'll be we'll
42:26we'll have an identity that's a little
42:28bigger, a little bigger. Maybe I'll be a
42:30painter.
42:31Someday I'll have my own gallery and
42:33that's what I'll be.
42:34We're more than that. We are more than
42:36our art. We're more than our our our our
42:40highest ambitions for our most creative
42:41self. Like we are
42:43I think we are spiritual beings and that
42:45we should be thinking about like
42:47higher-minded
42:49things, you know? That's what love is,
42:51man. It's this thing that floats above
42:52the whole world and says like, "How can
42:55I actually serve this place and these
42:58people that don't really want to be
43:00served and that don't serve me."
43:03You know? And when we start thinking
43:05that maybe that's who I am. My highest
43:09self is that guy. Oh, so hard to meet
43:12that person.
43:14So hard to be that person and so worth
43:16struggling to be that. And suddenly I'm
43:19not thinking about my career. And when I
43:21stop thinking about my career and
43:23thinking about how I can advance myself,
43:26it exploded, dude. It exploded. I swear
43:29to god. I was like
43:31I started doing these little InstaChurch
43:32videos that were more for me because
43:34they ground me.
43:35I I We all know that when you teach a
43:38subject is when you truly know
43:41if you understand it and it helps you
43:42cement your understanding of it. And so
43:44for me it's a practice of like, "Do I
43:47know this subject? Does it make sense to
43:48me? Can I explain it to somebody?"
43:51Um and also sharing ideas that I think
43:53are fun to talk about that nobody does
43:54cuz they're not commercial. But um I
43:56started doing that and I I I told my
43:59wife before I posted the first video.
44:02I said,
44:03"I want to make sure you're okay
44:06with me never working again in the
44:08business. Like if I have to be a plumber
44:10or something to make cuz
44:13I have a feeling if I start posting
44:14these videos people are going to think
44:15I'm some kind of nut job and I'm never
44:18going to work again." And she's like,
44:21"I'm with you." You know? And like this
44:22is you being honest and authentic and
44:25I you know, I like what you have to say
44:27and
44:28"Go for it." You know? And so I had her
44:30support and I was like, "All right, I'm
44:31never going to work again."
44:33And and it was it was entering this
44:35space through that honest authentic
44:37place of like
44:39of
44:40of
44:41assuming an identity that was wrapped in
44:43career
44:44that that then the career takes off.
44:47It's the most bizarre thing that life
44:49does for us when we let go
44:51of what doesn't matter, you know? And
44:54that that's been my experience.
44:55You know,
44:58on a on a similar level,
45:00I I do feel like,
45:03you know, cuz my whole life I was, you
45:04know, not my whole life, but since high
45:06school theater and college and plays and
45:08off-Broadway and movies and TV and I got
45:12to a certain point where I'm just like,
45:13"Something's missing."
45:16I've been I've been chasing this
45:18and I've had great success and I'm very
45:20grateful, but I'm still empty. And why
45:22is that? It doesn't make sense. Like
45:25people look at you and you're right.
45:26They, you know, you have a little money,
45:28you have nice things, you have good
45:30friend
45:31you have a career. What Why? What is it?
45:34And that's doing the work. And that's
45:36working on yourself in which I have
45:39done.
45:41But also obviously learning to love
45:43yourself, which we talk about a lot,
45:45which is very difficult because, you
45:47know, if you grow up not feeling loved
45:50and not feeling like you
45:53are worthy or good enough, then how the
45:56hell
45:57How the hell So you have to stop and go,
45:59"Hey, I'm not I can't blame this
46:00anymore. What is the issue? How do we
46:03fix this?" And when I started doing
46:05things, and this wasn't that long ago. I
46:07I was I took a little break from acting
46:09for a while and I did like little, you
46:10know, like you know, some things, but
46:13I thought,
46:16"Try doing things that you really like.
46:20That you really love doing. Passions."
46:24And all of a sudden in the last year or
46:25two,
46:28these passions have turned into things
46:30inadvertently. Oh, that's great. You
46:32know, it's like I go, "I always wanted
46:34to write a kids book." I I
46:36And I
46:37and I sold it and it's going to be out.
46:39And I'm like, "You know, I really want
46:40to do this
46:41You know, I want to do this one thing."
46:42And by the way, it's the first time in
46:45my life
46:47that the process
46:50is just as fun as the outcome, if not
46:52more. I'm the process I'm cuz I used to
46:54be like, "Okay, 14-hour day today. Oh,
46:56what time is it? It's all right. I only
46:57have 6 hours left. I only have to
46:59I am just enjoying the moment moments
47:04and whether
47:07something amazing happens financially or
47:10whatever, I'm doing them because I enjoy
47:13them.
47:14You know, I came
47:16It's it's amazing. It's an amazing
47:18feeling.
47:18That's when you know you're being true
47:19to yourself. When you're being true to
47:21yourself, the process is the enjoyable
47:23part because the life is the process.
47:24Then life is working, right? It feels
47:27right because you're being true to
47:28yourself. That's
47:30um that's big, man. It is.
47:3250-year-old wisdom right there.
47:33Dude, it's taken me so long. And look, I
47:35have a long way to go, but now and I'm
47:38trying to do things like
47:40say no.
47:42If you just don't want to do something,
47:44if it's fear-based, that's a different
47:46story. But if you don't want to do it
47:47because you're like,
47:49"There's just not an element of fun in
47:50that or there's not an something that
47:53that I I can have passion for, then
47:55don't do it unless you have to do it."
47:58You know? To pay the bills or whatever,
48:00but
48:01I'm starting to just relax a little
48:04more. I'm starting to not get anxious
48:06about every [ __ ] thing.
48:09Um
48:10it's Look, I'm on a I'm on a better path
48:14and cuz I was on a dark path. Like you,
48:16I hit rock bottom and I went to a
48:18treatment center for 3 weeks and I
48:21I just started opening up and talking
48:23about life and and it boy, did it turn
48:26me around. It just it wasn't like, "Holy
48:29shit." But it was like I faced a lot of
48:30things that I'd never faced.
48:33And that's what life is. Life is it's a
48:34journey and
48:36um I just I'm I'm happy that I I finally
48:40see the light. I finally see
48:42in like being enjoy having
48:45doing enjoyable things
48:47that or things that I'm passionate
48:49about. So I I
48:52it's amazing when you you're right, when
48:54you stop
48:56when you stop trying so hard and you
49:00stop
49:01thinking that "I get this part, my
49:04agent's going to be happy. Everybody's
49:05going to be happy. I'm going to be Look
49:07at me. Look at me." But then it's then
49:09when I have to do the work. So you're
49:11doing it or who are you doing it for?
49:12What are you doing it for? Admiration,
49:15adoration. Um
49:17But when you can do something and go, "I
49:19want to do this." And I'm probably not
49:20going to get any adoration for this. Who
49:22cares? I want to do this.
49:24I'm going to make a fart book. Yeah.
49:26A fart book is good. We need more fart
49:29Yeah. And so I I think that's a
49:31beautiful thing and it's nice to see
49:32that you've you've come around because
49:34you've had
49:35uh struggles than than most people, if
49:39not all the people that I've
49:40interviewed. I mean, and you also talk
49:41openly about bipolar, right? I do, yeah.
49:44Yeah, you know, and part you know,
49:47bipolar is a funny thing.
49:49Bipolar is a terrible name for bipolar.
49:51What should it be called?
49:51It's a terrible name.
49:53Unipolar.
49:54Unipolar. It should be called unipolar.
49:57Everybody else is bipolar.
49:59Uh so, if normal healthy people
50:03have
50:05an experience throughout the day, right?
50:07They're they're coming home from work,
50:09they had a decent day at work, they work
50:10hard, they feel accomplished, they're
50:11driving home, somebody cuts them off in
50:13traffic real bad, gives them the finger,
50:15don't even understand why, I'm going the
50:16speed limit, right? They feel put off
50:18and they're like
50:20I how do they like that's so rude.
50:22People in LA are so rude.
50:24They have this feeling that's like
50:26negative towards that experience and
50:28maybe, you know, opens up feelings of
50:29like insecurity or rage or whatever.
50:33But they're still sort of in that place
50:35where they're like, but I'm going home.
50:36Oh well, I can shake it off and I'm
50:37going to
50:38They're existing in two places at once.
50:40They can exist at most people can exist
50:42in two places at once. Like if [ __ ]
50:44happens, there's still some part of
50:46themselves that's okay.
50:50With bipolar
50:52you you can I personally cannot
50:55experience two thing two states at once.
50:58It is one
50:59of the most intense versions of that
51:01experience that you can possibly
51:03imagine. So, if most people have 99 keys
51:07on the keyboard and the lows are real
51:09low and the highs are real high and they
51:12can enjoy all those, right? And we can
51:13sort of play in that range. For me it
51:16extends as far as the I can see, deep
51:19into the horizon where it curves and
51:20wraps around the edge of the earth,
51:21right? Those keys still go. Some of
51:24those are so deep that it's impossible
51:26to pull yourself out of and you need
51:29help from a team of people, you need
51:31medication, right? But I can't possibly
51:34experience those extremes and also do
51:38what people tell you to do. They go, but
51:39just think about all the things you have
51:40to be grateful for. Play this key up
51:42here, just play that key. Let it pull
51:45you out. No, dude, there's no just
51:47playing that key. Until life stops
51:49hammering that bass tone for me, I can't
51:53come out of it. And and and there are
51:55times when I have this kind of
51:56out-of-body experience where I go, I
52:00I should let go of this feeling. Like
52:04every
52:05I have to let go of this feeling. My
52:08family
52:09needs me. I need to be present with my
52:11family. There's got to be a way out.
52:13It's like I'm talking to myself going,
52:15like, please. And it just won't, dude.
52:18That is bipolar. That's bipolar. It's
52:21unipolar It's you are going to
52:22experience immediately the most intense
52:25version of whatever your experience is
52:27and it's it's authentic and there's no
52:29lying about it. It's so complex and
52:31deep, those feelings that I can't act
52:35like I I'm not feeling it. And so that's
52:37really hard for people and it's really
52:38hard for my family.
52:40Because like if I'm upset because of my
52:42kid the other day, okay, so I've got
52:44three boys. They're 11, 9, and 7.
52:47Um my 7-year-old is just a few days
52:49behind me, his birthday, so he's about
52:50to be 8.
52:53They're very sweet boys. I'm so grateful
52:55for them.
52:56Um they're wonderful young men.
52:58But they were mad at me because I told
53:00them to go to bed and put their stuff
53:01away, the stuff that they were doing and
53:02my littlest said, "F you, Dad."
53:06I I had had quite a day
53:09because I was out in the countryside for
53:11work at a place with no Wi-Fi and I had
53:13a press stuff. I was talking to this I
53:15was talking to Associated Press and I
53:17was talking to Washington Post and all
53:18these things that were supposed to be on
53:19camera, these interviews and I couldn't
53:21get a signal, dude, and it was so
53:22frustrating. So, I'm dealing with that
53:24and then my kid tells me to f off
53:27because I asked him to go to bed
53:28and I like lose my mind,
53:31right? And I can't pull myself out of
53:33that place to go, like, he's just a kid.
53:36I is a I experienced the feeling of a
53:38kid telling me to f off and that feeling
53:41took over and there was nothing else for
53:43like an hour and I it it took me like an
53:46hour to finally kind of like
53:49like get it off, dude. It's [ __ ] the
53:51worst. It is So, so what is it I would
53:53give anything I would give anything to
53:55not be bipolar. But yet it's also the
53:58fuel to what I do in my craft. I can
54:01experience things as a character because
54:03I can tap into such wide-ranging
54:06emotions so deeply and authentically so
54:08fast. It's what makes things like
54:10Richard interesting for you to watch.
54:13So, it's a blessing and a massive
54:15[ __ ] curse, dude. I'd give anything
54:17to not be bipolar. Wow. No one's ever
54:20put that in perspective and I just was
54:23That is so gripping and so
54:26it's it
54:27I understand. It's like the [ __ ]
54:29just cut me off. I'm going to [ __ ] you.
54:31Dude, dude, could have a gun. Come on,
54:33you're not that guy. You're too old for
54:35this [ __ ] I have that voice.
54:36Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could shoot you.
54:38You could shoot you. You could shoot
54:38you. You could shoot YOU. YOU COULD
54:39SHOOT YOU.
54:40SO, when you get upset, you just kind of
54:42like do you do you catch yourself going,
54:44"No, you never talk to me like that
54:45again." And then you're Yeah, you know,
54:47that's what you need So, so as a bipolar
54:49person, I need resolution. I have to
54:52have resolution because I can't just
54:53leave things on the table. Like that's
54:56why I talked to Dude, I have so many
54:57hard conversations with the producers I
54:59work with, with the creative teams I
55:01work with, with executives at studios
55:03that I work with. Like these are
55:04corporate executives that are not used
55:06to like an actor calling and being like,
55:08I need to have an honest conversation
55:09with you about this process. This is not
55:11working and let me tell you exactly why.
55:12It's making me
55:14hate life right now, you know, and and
55:16you sort of like we need to find a
55:17different process. I have to have those
55:19conversations because I cannot be free
55:23of that terrible toxic feeling that is
55:25attached to the anger or whatever, the
55:28contempt until we figured it out. Uh
55:31like it doesn't just go away. It lives
55:34burning hot until
55:36you know, until it it until it's figured
55:38out, you know, until it's figured out.
55:40And
55:41you know, the highs are the highs are
55:43also dangerous, you know, it's dangerous
55:45to like live in those highs for too
55:46long, you know, you start to get you
55:47know, they call it delusions of
55:48grandeur, you know, you start living in
55:49this in this place where you start
55:51feeling invincible and making terrible
55:53financial decisions or whatever because
55:55you feel like you know, it's dangerous
55:57on either side. We don't want to be like
55:59we want to be fluid. And and and it
56:01makes it very very hard to do that. And
56:04so one of the one of the fixes is having
56:06very difficult honest conversations to
56:08find resolution that doesn't even make
56:09sense for most people. They're like, why
56:11do we have to talk about this? Let's
56:12just let it go. Yeah. I can't just let
56:14it go. Right. Let me just ask you this
56:16briefly we can move on but cuz this is
56:17fact just fascinating. Is it
56:20cuz no one's put it in perspective like
56:22this. Sean Astin talked about
56:24his mother
56:27and people have talked about it but no
56:28one's ever really
56:31made it like in layman's terms that
56:33really just really resonates with me. Is
56:35it something someone could tell you,
56:37"Hey, you're having an episode." or
56:38"Hey, you're being this." It's like see
56:42what you're doing right now. You ain't
56:43can you can can control this. Has anyone
56:45ever said that? Does your wife ever do
56:46that? Yeah, it's usually not like with
56:49such confidence like, "Hey, you're
56:51having a moment right now." It's usually
56:53a question.
56:55"Are you taking your medication right
56:56now?" which also sets me into a spiral.
56:59Like I hate being asked that, you know.
57:01Sometimes I've I've not I've stopped but
57:03um
57:05The Okay, so for for bipolar, there is a
57:08list of symptoms.
57:10And you are in an episode usually
57:14hypomania mixed episodes are more
57:16common.
57:19But if you're in an episode,
57:22I think you have to have four of these
57:24coexisting this confluence of symptoms
57:26happening at any one time. You can be in
57:28a bad mood or you can be irritable or
57:30you can have reckless spending or you
57:33can be lose you know, you can be kind of
57:35having insomnia. All those things that
57:37are telltale signs of mania,
57:40um they can be happening. I I had a
57:42really hard time sleeping two nights ago
57:44and it you know, it's concerning.
57:46That's a big red flag, man. When I stop
57:48like when I stop sleeping for no reason,
57:50that usually is a sign that mania is on
57:52the way. And um for it to truly be a
57:56manic episode,
57:58it has to be a confluence of these
58:00things. So, what we have now is a list
58:03that we
58:04I also have a psychiatrist that gets
58:06eyes on me once a week, you know, and
58:08that's a really important thing. She can
58:10see sometimes my speech is not it's not
58:13the same. It's much quicker or more
58:15clipped or my I my ideas or thoughts are
58:17much more
58:18Yeah. you know, I'm like hopping lily
58:20pads to
58:21different thoughts or ideas and you
58:23know, she knows how to see all the
58:24signs. So, she's a bipolar expert.
58:27So, you know, yes, um
58:30those questions come but usually it's
58:32about like how many other things right
58:33now do we think might be happening. One
58:36of the weirdest You want to know one of
58:37the weirdest things that that is a
58:39symptom for me of
58:41mania?
58:43If I if I wake up one day
58:46and like three pairs of shoes show up
58:48from like Amazon, you know, like like
58:50boxes show up on my doorstep,
58:52I know that I'm
58:54that we're we're well into a mixed
58:55episode.
58:57Yeah.
58:57It is bizarre, dude. I have thousands of
58:59shoes and I The other day we've gotten
59:02really good at recognizing, "Oh, that's
59:04actually this is mania." I don't even
59:06know what Dude, I didn't even know I
59:07bought shoes the other day but I woke
59:10up.
59:11I must have been up at night transfixed.
59:14Hyperfixation
59:16is a thing, right? So, hyperfixated on
59:18shoes, bought a bunch of shoes. I woke
59:20up and it was like on my phone, right?
59:23And so I was like horrified cuz I was
59:24like, "Oh god,
59:26I bought like three of the same shoes."
59:28don't even remember it?
59:30No, I didn't even remember it. I only
59:32proof I had was the receipt being open
59:34on my thing. And so I told my wife I was
59:36like
59:37I I think I'm manic. And I got my doctor
59:39on the phone and we started talking
59:40about all the other things and she was
59:41like, you're for sure into a mixed
59:43episode right now. And so we talked
59:44about upping my medication a little bit.
59:46I'm on Abilify.
59:47Um
59:49and and it helps.
59:50way, what milligram what milligram of
59:52that? Well, I'm super sensitive like
59:55like unusually sensitive to medicine.
59:57So a little bit affects me. Like the
59:59very first time I took it it was like an
1:00:00introductory baby dose and I was like
1:00:02drooling on myself. And I swore I would
1:00:05never take it again. I was like this
1:00:07like,
1:00:08you want to kill me? To my wife. You
1:00:10want me
1:00:11dead?
1:00:12And she's like, no, we don't. We just
1:00:14want to help you. I'm never taking this
1:00:16again.
1:00:17And
1:00:18and then we So I was like, I am never
1:00:21taking that medicine again to my
1:00:22psychiatrist. And we went like three or
1:00:23four weeks where she was like, okay,
1:00:25we'll find something. Um
1:00:28uh I started to have a real manic
1:00:31episode and um
1:00:34she was like, I think I just please try
1:00:37it. And so I took it again but during a
1:00:39manic episode and I was like, oh, okay.
1:00:42I feel totally normal now. It worked. I
1:00:45just took it at the wrong time and we
1:00:47ease into it that way.
1:00:49And so it's a small it's a it's one pill
1:00:51it's one two milligram pill is enough
1:00:53for me to sort of like, you know.
1:00:56And we would increase if things are like
1:00:57really going haywire we'd increase and
1:00:59it was just But since since since having
1:01:01eyes on this, since working with a
1:01:02psychiatrist who recognizes those
1:01:05symptoms, since reading a million books
1:01:07and and being very open about it with my
1:01:08wife um
1:01:10we've learned to see the signs and it's
1:01:13a language and we started to speak the
1:01:15language. And so when you know, we can
1:01:16approach it in a very different way
1:01:18where we go like, I think we actually
1:01:20need to have a conversation about maybe
1:01:21upping the medication right now and just
1:01:23pulling it in, you know. I love it.
1:01:25Um so it's it's helped a lot. I think
1:01:27you know,
1:01:28I hate the idea of sitting in front of
1:01:30psychiatrist and being like
1:01:32you know, just gets her magnifying glass
1:01:35out and like puts me under microscope.
1:01:36Like I get enough people looking at me
1:01:38and touching me. I walk in this in the
1:01:40mall and like people are like whispering
1:01:41and I don't want people looking at me
1:01:43anymore. And I willingly subject myself
1:01:45to somebody going, let me look at your
1:01:46eyes right now. You know, I don't want
1:01:48to do that. But you know how important
1:01:49it is and it's saving my life. It is
1:01:51saving my marriage. It's saving like
1:01:53it's
1:01:55it's worth it. So anybody out there
1:01:57who's like, I don't I don't want to do
1:01:58that. It's long
1:02:01like
1:02:02if my life fell apart which I could burn
1:02:04it to the ground really easily and I've
1:02:06tried so many times, it would then then
1:02:09I would be begging to go back in time
1:02:11and work with a psychiatrist who puts me
1:02:13under a microscope for an hour a week,
1:02:14you know.
1:02:15I just want to encourage people who are
1:02:17out there that maybe have some of the
1:02:19the trademark symptoms or signs or are
1:02:21in danger of that kind of thing. Before
1:02:23you burn the house down like you know,
1:02:25just
1:02:26get a team get a team around you that
1:02:28can can help you recognize these things
1:02:29and work with it. Or in general go to go
1:02:32to therapy in general. I think therapy
1:02:34for people in general if you're going
1:02:36through anything,
1:02:38you know, just having someone to talk to
1:02:40and bounce I've talked about that a
1:02:41million times. All right, this is Thank
1:02:42thank you so much for opening up. This
1:02:44is this last 20 minutes is just I'm so
1:02:48engaged that I could talk to you forever
1:02:50and I'll bug you in another year when
1:02:53when season 3 comes out.
1:02:55This man
1:02:57This is this is so good. I just
1:03:00you know, hearing you open up about this
1:03:02stuff.
1:03:03So Jack Reacher Amazon Prime
1:03:06December 15th season 2 I got to watch
1:03:09the first episode and let me tell you
1:03:11something you're going to love it. He is
1:03:13more charming
1:03:15uh there's a new story which I love, a
1:03:18great twist at the end, some real good
1:03:21ass beatings, some heart.
1:03:23Um you know, I have no doubt this is
1:03:26going to be
1:03:27a bigger success than than last year.
1:03:29I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for
1:03:30you. Thank you.
1:03:32And and I'm proud of you for more more
1:03:34than
1:03:35all the you know, accolades and the jobs
1:03:37and all this that you're just authentic
1:03:40you and you're working on doing all
1:03:42these things. I can see you're always
1:03:43working on being a better husband, a
1:03:45better father, a better friend, a better
1:03:47so
1:03:49you know, it's giving
1:03:51giving me this time with you is I'm I'm
1:03:54forever grateful and I appreciate it. I
1:03:55hope you come back and uh Thanks man. I
1:03:58yeah, I can't wait to I can't wait to do
1:03:59it again soon man. I love talking to you
1:04:01and again grateful to share this
1:04:03conversation with you. Um
1:04:05uh in front of your audience. It's
1:04:08I'm
1:04:09I I look for opportunities to open up
1:04:11and it's hard and you've given me one so
1:04:13I'm thank you. All right. Love you,
1:04:14buddy. Thanks. Jack Reacher December
1:04:1715th. Make sure you watch it. I can't
1:04:20wait.
1:04:20Please watch.
1:04:23Love it. Love him. Alan
1:04:26You're a damn gem. I thank you for
1:04:28coming on the podcast, taking your time.
1:04:30You're a machine my my friend. You're an
1:04:32honest
1:04:34loyal machine. He's jacked. He's like a
1:04:36mountain of a man.
1:04:38His arm can fit in my torso. Kind of
1:04:40vision visualize that. I don't want to.
1:04:43I don't know what that even means.
1:04:45But thank you for being so humble and
1:04:47open and charming and super talented.
1:04:53So there you go. Yeah, he's a he's just
1:04:55an awesome guy. I mean, I I'd say this
1:04:57is easily top 10 episodes of all time.
1:05:00Like him as a guest.
1:05:02I mean
1:05:03Definitely I'm I told you what I love to
1:05:05is hearing guests talk about previous
1:05:10appearances and being noted for that.
1:05:12And it's not just like, hey Alan, I
1:05:13loved you from Blue Mountain State. It's
1:05:15like, hey, I heard you on Inside of You.
1:05:17It really helped me. And like, oh,
1:05:17that's rad.
1:05:18Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think it's
1:05:20just fantastic. And if you missed out on
1:05:23all the things I'm saying about the
1:05:25podcast and all that and what it did,
1:05:27just go to the intro and listen to it.
1:05:29It's very quick and educational. And
1:05:32thanks for listening. And again, if you
1:05:33like this episode, please follow us and
1:05:35please support us and listen to more
1:05:37episodes. A lot of times you think
1:05:38you're listening to one of the I don't I
1:05:40don't know this actor. I'm not going to
1:05:41listen. But you learn so much from
1:05:43different people and it's an
1:05:45a lot of good ones this year. Yeah,
1:05:47we've had a great year knocking wood.
1:05:48And thank you Westwood One for all the
1:05:50hard work and getting us sponsors and
1:05:54also keeping us afloat with the patrons.
1:05:56We do appreciate you.
1:05:58Teresa, Breeze May
1:06:01Uh you guys rock. I don't think they're
1:06:03listening but
1:06:05Anyway, there we go. Um now it's time
1:06:07for the top tiers. These are the top
1:06:09tier patrons
1:06:11and here we go.
1:06:13patreon.com/insideofyou Nancy D, Lee and
1:06:16Kristen, Little Lisa, Yukiko, Jill E,
1:06:18Brian H, Nico P, Robert B, Jason W,
1:06:21Sophie M, Raj C, Joshua D Jennifer and
1:06:25Stacy L, Jamal F, Janelle B, Mike E,
1:06:27Eldon Supremo 99 Moore, Santiago M, Chad
1:06:30W, Lee Ann P uh Maddie S, Belinda and
1:06:35Dave H Dave Hall. I love my Dave Hall.
1:06:39Sheila G, Brett D, Rey Harada Sabitha T
1:06:44Tallman, Tall Yam Betsy D Riannon C
1:06:48Corey K, Dev Nixon, Michelle A, Jeremy
1:06:50C, Brandy D, Joey M, Eugene and Leah,
1:06:54Corey Angela F, Mel S, Christine S. Go
1:06:57ahead, read a couple.
1:06:59Eric H Shane R, Andrew M, Amanda R,
1:07:02Kevin E, Stephanie K, Joel, Jamon J, Lee
1:07:06Ann J, Luna R, Mike F, Stone H, Brian L,
1:07:12Jules M, Kendall L Jessica B lowercase
1:07:16Kyle F, Marisol P, Kiley J Brian A
1:07:22Ashley F Mary Ann Louise L, Romeo the
1:07:26band Frank B, Jen T, Nikki L, April R,
1:07:30Randy S J D W
1:07:34Oral P Remember that toothbrush? Oral-B.
1:07:38Yeah, but I've never seen this name
1:07:39before. Oral? Oral Oral P.
1:07:42an Maybe it's a Rawl. A Rawl.
1:07:43A Rawl.
1:07:45Okay. Ginger Somniac, Rachel D, Melissa
1:07:49H, Nick W, Stephanie and Evan, Charlene
1:07:51A, Don G and Jenny B. We love you.
1:07:56That's for sure.
1:07:58Um thank you guys. I appreciate you more
1:08:00than you know. Um so from Michael
1:08:03Rosenbaum here in the Hollywood Hills of
1:08:04Hollywood, California I'm Bryce. It's
1:08:07just Bryce, baby.
1:08:07In the same place, obviously.
1:08:09You are. Little wave to the camera. We
1:08:11love you. Thanks for listening and big
1:08:13episode coming up next week. You do not
1:08:15want to miss it. If you like movies like
1:08:17The Matrix, if you like movies like Bill
1:08:20and Ted
1:08:22if you like a movie called Sweet
1:08:23November that I was in
1:08:24with him, this person. And his band's
1:08:27here, too.
1:08:28So you might want to stick around.
1:08:30Be good to yourself. We'll see you next
1:08:32week.

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