YT YouTube2Text

YouTube2Text → Transcripts → Agisci come se tutto ti andasse SEMPRE bene | Carl Jung

Agisci come se tutto ti andasse SEMPRE bene | Carl Jung — Transcript

by La Chiave di Carl Jung · 8,108 words · 1,195 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Open in transcriber Summarize with AI Download SRT/VTT

Full transcript

0:00Act as if everything is always going
0:02well for you. I know, it sounds like a
0:05greeting card cliché, but stay with me
0:08for a few minutes because behind these
0:10words lies one of Carl Jung's most
0:12concrete insights. Imagine going
0:16through an entire week with a quiet,
0:18almost physical certainty in your chest
0:21. Not the certainty that everything
0:24will go smoothly—no one has that—
0:27but the certainty that whatever happens
0:30, the train delay, the call that
0:32doesn't come, the door that shuts, will
0:35somehow work for you, not against you.
0:38Try to feel how your days would change,
0:41the way you walk into a room. The tone
0:45you use to reply to a text, the look in
0:47your eyes when something goes wrong at
0:49the worst possible moment. I’m not
0:53talking about superficial positive
0:55thinking, I’m not talking about
0:57smiling at problems and pretending they
0:59don't exist; I’m talking about
1:01something much more solid that Carl
1:03Jung observed over decades of working
1:05with people. Our psyche doesn't just
1:09endure events, it interprets them, and
1:11almost everything that follows depends
1:14on that interpretation. Most people,
1:18when faced with a difficulty, always
1:20ask themselves the same question: "Why
1:22me?" And every obstacle becomes further
1:27proof of a hostile destiny, of bad luck
1:29chasing you, of a life that doesn't
1:31love you. Jung had learned to ask
1:35himself another question, and at the
1:38end of this video, I will tell you what
1:40he had engraved above his front door
1:42and why those few Latin words are
1:44perhaps the simplest key to this whole
1:46concept. Keep that in mind because we
1:50will get there. But first, I want to
1:52give you something very concrete: a
1:55phrase. A short sentence you can say to
1:57yourself in those moments when
1:59everything seems to go wrong. Here it
2:02is. Everything works for me, not like a
2:05spell, but as a choice of direction. If
2:09you feel you need to remind yourself of
2:11this today, write it in the comments
2:13below. Everything works for me. Writing
2:17it is already the first gesture of this
2:19practice, the first small step from
2:21thought to action. And now, let’s get
2:24to the heart of the matter. Jung,
2:28unlike many doctors of his time, wasn't
2:30satisfied with asking where an ailment
2:32came from. Of course, the question of
2:35cause is important. What happened? What
2:38caused it? But Jung was convinced that
2:42this question alone leaves a person
2:44halfway there because it only looks
2:46backward. Alongside the question of "
2:49why," Jung always added a second one.
2:52For what purpose? Where is all this
2:55leading me? In German, there is a short
2:58word for this, "Wozu," which means
3:00exactly that. Because Jung essentially
3:04wrote that psychic life is not only
3:06pushed from behind, by causes, but is
3:09also oriented forward toward a goal.
3:14For him, every fact of the soul had to
3:15be looked at in two directions: where
3:17it comes from and where it is tending.
3:21Stop for a moment on this, because it
3:23is less abstract than it seems. Think
3:25about the last time something really
3:27hurt you. A disappointment at work,
3:31someone who drifted away, a project
3:33that didn't go through. If you think
3:36back on it asking yourself only "why,"
3:38your mind starts going in circles. Why
3:41did it happen? Whose fault is it? Where
3:43did I go wrong? And every turn adds a
3:46little more weight. But if you try
3:49asking yourself what it was good for,
3:51or what it could be good for now,
3:53something shifts. It doesn't erase the
3:58pain, it doesn't turn a loss into a
3:59gift, but it opens a door you didn't
4:01see before: the door to what comes next
4:03. This is the real difference between
4:07the two questions. "Why me?" keeps you
4:09stuck at the point where you fell. "
4:12What is this good for?" asks you to
4:15lift your gaze and look at the road
4:17ahead. Let's take a small, everyday
4:19example, one of those that happens to
4:21everyone. It’s a Tuesday morning, you
4:24have an important meeting in Bologna,
4:26and you arrive at the station short of
4:27breath. The board says your train just
4:31left, and the next one is in 50 minutes
4:33. You know the feeling all too well:
4:36your stomach tightening, the anger
4:39rising, your inner voice starting
4:41immediately— "Always me, of course
4:43today.""I knew it would turn out like
4:46this." Now, the train has left
4:48regardless. You can't change that, but
4:50you can change the question. And if the
4:53question becomes, "All right, what can
4:56I do with these 50 minutes?" Then
4:59perhaps you call the person waiting for
5:01you and let them know calmly, instead
5:03of arriving flustered and with a flurry
5:05of excuses. Perhaps you sit at the
5:08station café, have a coffee, and
5:09clearly review what you need to say.
5:12Perhaps for once you look at the people
5:15around you instead of looking at your
5:17watch. You will still arrive late, but
5:20you will arrive in a different state,
5:22and the state you enter a room with, as
5:24we shall see shortly, changes the room.
5:28Here, however, we must be clear
5:29immediately because there is a
5:31misunderstanding that ruins everything.
5:33Acting as if everything is always fine
5:36does not mean believing that nothing
5:38bad will happen. That is naive optimism
5:41, and it is as fragile as glass. The
5:44naive optimist says: "Everything will
5:46be fine, you'll see." Then the first
5:49real blow comes, and their castle
5:51crumbles because it was built on the
5:53idea that those blows would never
5:55arrive. The trust we are talking about
5:57is something else entirely. It is a
5:59grounded trust, with its feet on the
6:00ground. It doesn’t say nothing will
6:04happen; it says whatever happens, there
6:06will be something to learn, something
6:09to build, a direction to take. It
6:12doesn't deny the problem; it looks it
6:14in the face and asks: "So, where are
6:16you taking me now?" Naïve optimism
6:19needs reality to prove it right. Rooted
6:22trust does not. It can stand tall even
6:25on a bad day because it doesn't rely on
6:28results; it relies on direction, and
6:31you can clearly see this difference in
6:33the people you know. Think of that
6:37neighbor who seems to go through
6:38difficulties without breaking. Maybe
6:40she’s had tough years, losses,
6:42worries, children living far away. Yet,
6:45when you meet her on the stairs, she
6:48always has a kind word, a way of
6:50speaking that is never desperate. She
6:53isn't someone for whom everything has
6:54gone perfectly. She is someone who, at
6:57a certain point, stopped viewing every
6:59blow as a sentence. And think instead
7:03of those who, perhaps with an
7:04objectively more comfortable life,
7:06experience every little hitch as a
7:07personal injustice. The parking spot
7:10taken, the colleague who doesn't reply,
7:12the family dinner that doesn't go as
7:14planned. For these people, life is a
7:17long list of grievances, and the
7:19saddest part is that by expecting them,
7:22they truly find them everywhere. It is
7:26not fate that separates these two
7:27people; it is the question they ask
7:29themselves every morning. And if you
7:32are listening and recognize yourself a
7:34bit in the second description, there is
7:35no blame in that. Almost all of us
7:38learned as children to view
7:40difficulties as threats. It is a habit,
7:43not a life sentence. And habits, with
7:45patience, can be changed. If you feel
7:49the time has come to change yours,
7:51write it in the comments with our
7:53phrase: "As a small pact with your life
7:54: 'Everything works for me.'" There is
7:58something else Jung understood very
8:00well that makes all of this even more
8:02concrete. It has to do with the way the
8:05mind chooses what to see. In his book
8:09on psychological types, Jung discusses
8:12attitude at length, essentially
8:14describing it as a disposition of the
8:16psyche to act or react in a certain way
8:19, a kind of inner preparation that
8:21exists before anything happens. The
8:25decisive point is exactly this: before.
8:28Attitude doesn't arrive after the event
8:31to comment on it; it is already there,
8:33deciding in advance what we will notice
8:35and what we will let go. Have you ever
8:40decided to buy a certain car, maybe a
8:42small red one, and from that day on you
8:44see them everywhere: at the traffic
8:46light, in the supermarket parking lot,
8:48outside your home? The red cars
8:51haven’t multiplied; your focus has
8:54changed. You gave your mind a task, and
8:57your mind began to carry it out without
8:59you even asking. The exact same thing
9:02happens with life. If you leave the
9:06house in the morning convinced that the
9:08world is against you, your mind
9:10diligently gets to work to prove it. It
9:13records every sideways glance, every
9:15delay, every blunt response, and in the
9:18evening, it delivers a nice report to
9:20you. See? You were right. But if you
9:24leave the house with the opposite
9:26question: what good can come from this
9:28day? That same mind begins to look for
9:30something else. The kindness of the
9:33barista, the idea that comes to you
9:35while waiting for the bus, the
9:36unexpected compliment from a colleague.
9:39These aren’t new things, they were
9:42there before; they simply have a place
9:44to land now. There is an experiment
9:47that shows this in an almost amusing
9:49way. It was conducted by an English
9:52psychologist, Richard Wiseman, who for
9:54years studied people who consider
9:55themselves lucky and those who consider
9:57themselves unlucky. At one point, he
10:01gave everyone the same task: flip
10:03through a newspaper and count how many
10:05photographs were inside. People who
10:09felt unlucky took an average of a
10:11couple of minutes, carefully counting
10:14page by page. Those who felt lucky
10:17finished in just a few seconds. The
10:20reason? On the second page of the
10:23newspaper, there was a box in large
10:25print that said more or less: "Stop
10:27counting, there are 43 photographs in
10:30this newspaper." Those who felt unlucky
10:33, focused and tense, didn't see it.
10:37Those who felt lucky, more relaxed and
10:39curious, noticed it immediately. The
10:42message was there for everyone. Same
10:45page, same font, same size. The only
10:49thing that changed was the perspective
10:52with which people approached the
10:54newspaper, and that is exactly what
10:56Jung meant by attitude: an inner
10:58preparation that decides, even before
11:00you realize it, what you will be able
11:02to see. So you have to wonder how many
11:07"second-page messages" are in your week
11:09that you aren't seeing. An offer of
11:12help that you dismissed with a "no
11:14thanks, I'm fine." A proposal from a
11:17friend that you turned down out of
11:19habit, an idea that crossed your mind
11:21in the shower and that you let go
11:23because it wouldn't work anyway. I’m
11:26not saying that each of these was the
11:28solution. I am saying that a tense and
11:31defensive mind doesn't even have the
11:34time to consider them. This is the
11:36first reason why acting as if
11:38everything is working for you is not an
11:41illusion. It doesn't change the facts,
11:44it changes which facts reach you. And
11:47here I want to propose a small exercise
11:49for you to do starting today. For a
11:51whole day, pay attention to the
11:53absolute words you use when something
11:55goes wrong. Always, never, everyone,
11:59nothing, always me. Nothing ever goes
12:02right for me. Everyone takes advantage
12:04of me. You don't have to correct them,
12:06you don't have to judge yourself, you
12:07just need to notice them. Like you
12:09notice the sound of a car passing under
12:11your window. In the evening, reflect on
12:14how many times they appeared. Many
12:17people are surprised because those
12:19little words "always" and "never" are
12:22the tiles with which the mind builds
12:24its story of misfortune, and when you
12:26start to see them, they lose some of
12:28their power. Instead of "always me,"
12:32you can say "this time it happened like
12:34this." Instead of "nothing ever goes
12:37right for me," you can say "today this
12:39thing didn't go well." It seems like a
12:42small difference; in reality, it is the
12:44difference between a sentence and a
12:46fact. There is also a very widespread
12:50habit, and let's say it, a very Italian
12:52one, that is worth looking at closely.
12:54Complaining. I'm not talking about an
12:57honest vent with a trusted person; that
13:00is good and sometimes necessary. I am
13:02talking about complaining as an
13:04everyday conversation. At the bar, at
13:07the hairdresser, in line at the post
13:09office, in front of the school gate:
13:11the government, the weather, prices,
13:13young people, your back, the neighbor.
13:16It's almost a way of saying hello.
13:18How's it going? Eh, getting by. Don't
13:21get me started. It seems harmless, and
13:24partly it is, but try to think about it
13:26in light of what we just said about
13:28attention. Every time you tell a story
13:31about something going wrong, you relive
13:33it, you choose it out of a thousand
13:35other things in the day, you put it at
13:37the center, you repeat it, you
13:38embellish it, and the mind, which is a
13:40diligent student, learns. This is what
13:43matters. This is what I must notice
13:46next time. You don't have to become a
13:49person who never complains. That would
13:51be another act. Try just for a week to
13:54make a small trade. Every time you
13:58realize you've told a story about
13:59something that went wrong, immediately
14:01add one thing that went well, even a
14:03tiny one. The bread was good, my
14:06grandson called, the sun came out in
14:08the afternoon. At first, it will seem
14:11forced, and the people around you might
14:13look at you a bit surprised. Then a
14:16curious thing happens: they start doing
14:19it too, because attitude, as we will
14:21see in a moment, never stays locked
14:24inside just one person. But there is a
14:27second reason, and it is perhaps even
14:29more powerful; it concerns others. What
14:32you expect from your day doesn't stay
14:34locked in your head; it comes out. It
14:37comes out in your posture, the way you
14:39hold your shoulders, your tone of voice
14:41, the speed at which you reply. The
14:43people around you don't read your
14:46thoughts, but they read everything else
14:48and respond to that. Think of two
14:51people entering the same office to ask
14:53for the same thing. The first walks in
14:56already on the defensive, arms crossed,
14:58with a ready phrase: "I know you're
15:00going to say no anyway." The second
15:02enters calmly, says hello, makes eye
15:05contact, and explains simply. Which of
15:08the two is more likely to get a yes?
15:11You don't need to be a psychologist to
15:12answer that. The first person isn't
15:14lying; they are just anticipating a
15:17refusal, but by anticipating it, they
15:19make it more likely. The employee on
15:21the other side of the counter senses
15:23that closed-off attitude and, almost
15:25without realizing it, closes off in
15:27return. And so the prophecy comes true,
15:30and the person leaves the office
15:32thinking, "I knew it." It is a cycle
15:34that works in both directions. Those
15:37who expect the worst tend to behave in
15:39a way that brings it about. Those who
15:42trust in life tend to behave in a way
15:44that life very often responds to. The
15:47same happens in our closest
15:49relationships, the everyday ones. Take
15:51an example we all know. You send a
15:54WhatsApp message to your son, a friend,
15:56or your brother. You see the two blue
15:59ticks; the message has been read, but
16:02no reply comes. An hour goes by, then
16:05three. Here, your mind starts writing a
16:08novel: "They're mad at me,""They don't
16:10care,""Did I say something wrong?" And
16:13when the reply finally arrives, maybe
16:15in the evening, maybe short, you read
16:17it with that story already in your head
16:19. You respond coldly. The other person
16:23senses the coldness, doesn't understand
16:25, and an evening that could have been
16:27normal becomes a small misunderstanding
16:29. Now try to re-read the same scene
16:33with a different question: not "Why
16:35aren't they answering me?" but "What
16:37could be behind this silence besides my
16:40own fear?" Maybe they were at work,
16:43maybe in the car, maybe in bed and
16:45wanted to reply calmly. And even if
16:48that person were truly angry with you?
16:51Your calm will allow you to ask them
16:53about it gently instead of accusing
16:55them. The facts were the same: the two
16:59blue ticks, the silence, the late reply
17:01. Only the interpretation changed, but
17:05that interpretation dictated the rest
17:07of the evening; think about how often
17:09the same thing happens around a dinner
17:11table, like Sunday lunch at your
17:13mother-in-law's or with that uncle who
17:15always has something to complain about.
17:19You go there with a knot in your
17:20stomach. In the car, you rehearse the
17:22phrases they’ll say and what you’ll
17:24say back. You arrive, and at the first
17:27comment about the sauce or your job,
17:29you already have your answer ready.
17:31Actually, let’s put it better: your
17:33answer has been ready for days. Now
17:36imagine walking through that door as if
17:38you were truly expected and welcome.
17:42Not because the other person changed,
17:44but because you decided not to show up
17:46already at war. You greet them calmly,
17:49ask a real question, and show interest
17:51in something they care about. It’s
17:54not guaranteed the lunch will become a
17:56celebration, but very often when one
17:58person lowers their weapons, the other
18:00doesn't quite know who to aim at
18:01anymore. That’s why Jung placed such
18:05importance on attitude; not because
18:07facts don't matter, but because facts
18:10always arrive inside a frame. And the
18:13frame, much more often than we think,
18:15is chosen by us. Let me tell you about
18:19Federica. Federica is 47 and lives in
18:22Turin. For 20 years she worked in
18:25administration for a small family
18:26business until it closed down. At first
18:30, she sent resumes everywhere and
18:32really believed in that first big
18:34interview at a logistics firm out of
18:36town. Two weeks later, a polite
18:40three-line email arrived. We have
18:43chosen another profile. That evening
18:45Federica sat in the kitchen and cried,
18:48then started saying the things we all
18:51know. At my age, no one will hire me
18:54anymore. It’s over. I messed
18:56everything up. For days, she stopped
18:59responding to ads. She went to
19:01subsequent interviews like going to the
19:03dentist, with her gaze low and the
19:05voice of someone apologizing for
19:06existing. It wasn't a miracle that
19:09changed things. It was a question asked
19:12by her sister during Sunday lunch,
19:14between the first and second course.
19:17Federica, did you actually want that
19:19job, or did you just want any job at
19:22all? Federica stayed silent because the
19:25honest answer was the latter. She
19:28wasn't interested in that logistics
19:30position at all; she was afraid and had
19:32clung to the first door she saw. From
19:35there, Federica started asking herself
19:37a different question: no longer "why
19:39didn't they hire me?", but "what is
19:41this 'no' serving me?" And the answer,
19:44little by little, emerged. It was
19:47serving to help her realize that after
19:4920 years of numbers and invoices, she
19:51wanted to be with people. She took an
19:54evening course. She started working
19:56part-time in a school office. Today she
19:59coordinates family services and says
20:02something that always strikes me. That
20:05rejection was the most useful thing
20:07that happened to me in those years. But
20:09pay attention to the most important
20:11detail. Federica didn't change her mind
20:14after finding the new job. She changed
20:17her question first. And it was
20:19precisely by changing her question that
20:21she started showing up to interviews
20:23differently, with her back straight,
20:25with the curiosity of an explorer
20:27instead of the fear of a beggar.
20:30Confidence was not the prize, it was
20:32the path. If Federica's story reminded
20:37you of a "no" you received that
20:39eventually led you somewhere, write it
20:41in the comments and add our phrase, "
20:44Everything works for me." Reading your
20:48stories one after another is one of the
20:50best things about this channel, because
20:52each one becomes a small piece of
20:54evidence for those still waiting to see
20:56the meaning of their own "no." Before
21:00moving on to the practical part,
21:02however, I want to talk to you about a
21:04subtle trap that Jung knew well and
21:06that affects many people at any age.
21:09Jung essentially called it the
21:11provisional life. It is the way of
21:14living for those who feel that real
21:15life hasn't started yet. When will it
21:18start? When I find the right job, when
21:21the kids are grown, when I retire, when
21:24I’ve settled that issue with my
21:27brother, when things have calmed down.
21:31In the meantime, everything is a bit on
21:33hold, a bit suspended, like a house
21:35where the suitcases are never fully
21:37unpacked. Jung noted that those who
21:40live this way often have the feeling of
21:43not truly being inside their own
21:44existence. They put off choices, they
21:48put off joys, sometimes they even put
21:50off affection, and meanwhile time
21:52passes anyway, it just passes in a
21:54waiting room. Well, acting as if
21:58everything is working for you is
22:00exactly the opposite of the provisional
22:02life. It doesn't mean waiting for
22:05things to settle down to start living
22:07with confidence. It means living with
22:10confidence now, within things as they
22:13are, still messy, still incomplete,
22:15because life isn't what starts later,
22:18it's this—this week with its missed
22:21trains and its calls that don't come.
22:25Think of something you are putting off
22:27until things get better—a little trip
22:30, a phone call, a course, lunch with
22:32someone you miss—and ask yourself:
22:34what if I did it now? As if life were
22:37already good enough to deserve it. You
22:40will often discover that there was
22:42absolutely nothing to wait for. And now
22:45we come to the practical part, the one
22:47that gives this video its title: Acting
22:49as if. Many misunderstand this
22:52expression, thinking it means acting,
22:54faking a cheerfulness that isn't there,
22:57showing a plastic smile, telling
22:59everyone that everything is fine when
23:01inside you're falling apart. That is
23:04not it. Faking feelings is exhausting
23:06and in the long run, it distances you
23:08from yourself. Acting as if means
23:11something else. It means not waiting to
23:14feel confident to start behaving with
23:17confidence. It means letting actions
23:20for once pave the way for feelings,
23:23because feelings are not just the
23:25starting point of our actions; very
23:27often, they are also the result. There
23:31is an episode from Jung's childhood
23:33that he recounts in his memoirs that
23:35illustrates this principle better than
23:37any theory. Jung was about 12 years old
23:40. One day, leaving school, a classmate
23:44pushed him and he fell, hitting his
23:46head. And right as he was falling, he
23:49recounts, a thought crossed his mind.
23:52Now you won't have to go to school
23:54anymore. From that moment on, the
23:56fainting spells began. Every time he
23:59had to go back to school or do his
24:01homework, he would get dizzy and lose
24:03consciousness. The doctors couldn't
24:05find anything. He stayed home, wandered
24:08in the woods, drew, and daydreamed for
24:11months. Then, one day, without being
24:14seen, he heard his father talking to a
24:17friend. The friend asked about the boy,
24:20and the father replied with deep
24:22concern: "What will become of him if he
24:24cannot earn a living?" Jung says it was
24:27like a lightning bolt. In that moment,
24:30he understood that he was running away
24:32and that this escape was causing
24:34suffering to the people who loved him.
24:36He went into his father's study, took
24:38his Latin grammar book, and started to
24:40study. After a few minutes, the first
24:43dizzy spell arrived. He basically told
24:45himself: "I am not going to faint now."
24:48And he continued. A second attack came,
24:51then another one. He kept on studying.
24:54After a few weeks, he returned to
24:56school, and the fainting spells never
24:58returned. Look closely at what that boy
25:01did. He didn't wait to feel up to it,
25:04he didn't wait for the fear to go away;
25:07he behaved like someone capable of
25:10studying even before feeling capable.
25:13And it was the behavior that brought
25:15the change with it, not the other way
25:17around. Jung, many years later, wrote
25:20that it was right there that he learned
25:23something decisive about how our mind
25:25can build its own prisons and how one
25:27can get out of them. And you can
25:30practice this on three very simple
25:33levels. The first level is the body.
25:36When you get bad news, your body
25:38naturally closes up, your shoulders
25:40rise toward your ears, your breath
25:42shortens, and your gaze drops to the
25:45floor. Try doing the opposite, even if
25:48just for a minute. Plant your feet
25:51firmly on the ground, let your
25:53shoulders drop, take a slow breath, a
25:55bit longer than usual, and raise your
25:58gaze to the horizon. You’re not
26:01telling the pain to go away, you’re
26:03telling your body, "We are still
26:05standing." The second level is words.
26:09The phrases we repeat out loud or in
26:11our heads work like water in a garden.
26:15Anyone with a garden knows that water
26:17always flows into the grooves already
26:19carved, the deepest ones. If for years
26:21you’ve always said "why me," it’s
26:23natural for thoughts to flow there on
26:26their own, before anywhere else. You
26:28don’t have to forcibly close the old
26:31groove; you just have to dig a new one
26:33next to it, one hoe strike at a time.
26:36Every time you feel the "why me"
26:39starting, immediately add, calmly, "and
26:41now, what is this useful for?" You
26:45don’t have to believe it 100%. You
26:47just have to say it. The new groove is
26:49carved by repeating, not by believing.
26:52And one day you’ll realize the water
26:54has started taking the new path all by
26:57itself. The third level is small
27:01actions. Confidence isn’t proven with
27:04grand gestures, but with tiny ones.
27:07Replying to that message instead of
27:08leaving it there. Sending out a resume
27:11again today, even if a "no" arrived
27:13yesterday. Tidying up your desk before
27:16a difficult day. Setting the table with
27:19care even when you’re the only one
27:21there for dinner. Every small action
27:24done as if life were worth it is a vote
27:26you cast for your future. Let me give
27:29you an example. Giorgio is 58 and has
27:31run a small bar on a street in downtown
27:34Bari for nearly 30 years. One day,
27:38right across the street, a big chain
27:40store opens with huge windows, a bright
27:42sign, and low prices. Giorgio spends
27:46the first few weeks looking across the
27:48street and counting how many customers
27:51he'll lose. He stops restocking the
27:53afternoon pastries; who would come
27:55anyway? He answers customers with a
27:58long face, and the customers, as
28:00expected, really do start to dwindle.
28:03Then one evening his wife tells him a
28:06simple phrase: "Giorgio, if you still
28:08liked the bar, what would you do?" The
28:11next day Giorgio does something small:
28:14he repaints the chalkboard outside the
28:16door, and the day after that, he puts
28:18the two tables back on the sidewalk. He
28:21starts calling regular customers by
28:23name again, asking about their grandson
28:25, their leg, the game. He doesn’t
28:28start a revolution; he simply acts like
28:31the owner of a bar that’s worth
28:34visiting. The chain coffee shop is
28:37still there, but people who want a
28:39coffee and some real conversation have
28:41started crossing the street toward
28:43Giorgio again, not because he defeated
28:45the competition, but because he stopped
28:48acting like he had already lost. And
28:51there is one detail that makes this
28:53honest and not a performance. You
28:56aren’t telling yourself that things
28:57are fine when they are going wrong. You
29:00are saying, "I don’t know where this
29:02will lead me yet, but I choose to act
29:04like someone who trusts the path." This
29:07isn’t a lie; it’s a decision. Take
29:11a moment now, as you listen, think of
29:13one situation that is weighing on you
29:16lately, just one, and ask yourself: if
29:18I truly trusted that even this is
29:20working for me, what would I do
29:22differently tomorrow? Not the big
29:26answer, the smallest one: a phone call,
29:28a walk, a word said in a different way.
29:32Keep it with you because that is where
29:34you begin. Now, there are three
29:37mistakes to avoid that are often made,
29:39especially at the beginning, when you
29:41start practicing this trust. The first
29:44mistake is expecting immediate results.
29:47You do your practice for three days and
29:49on the fourth day, a bill arrives
29:51that’s higher than expected and you
29:54think, "See, it doesn't work." But
29:56trust is not a vending machine where
29:59you put in a coin and receive a prize.
30:02It is more like the garden we were
30:03talking about earlier. You sow today,
30:07and what you see sprouting in a few
30:09weeks depends on all the days you
30:11continued to water, even when you
30:12couldn't see anything under the soil.
30:16The second mistake is using trust to
30:18avoid looking, saying "Everything works
30:21for me" and then ignoring an important
30:23signal, not facing a necessary
30:25conversation, or leaving a letter
30:28unopened on the table for weeks. This
30:31is not trust; it is escape in disguise.
30:34True trust makes you more capable of
30:36looking at difficult things, not less.
30:39Precisely because you aren't afraid
30:41they will destroy you, you can afford
30:43to see them in their entirety. The
30:45third mistake is doing it for others,
30:47showing everyone how much positivity
30:49you have, correcting those who complain
30:52, or lecturing your pessimistic
30:54brother-in-law during Christmas dinner.
30:57Let it go. Trust is not taught with
30:59words; it is transmitted by example.
31:02The people around you will notice the
31:05change long before you explain it to
31:07them, and if they don't notice,
31:08that’s fine too. You aren't doing it
31:11for them. I also want to tell you about
31:14Stefano, because his story shows
31:16another side of the same coin. Stefano
31:19is 62 years old, recently retired, and
31:21lives in Verona with his wife, Anna.
31:24For years, they had postponed a trip to
31:26Puglia, the one they had promised each
31:28other when they were young. They had
31:30finally booked everything: the
31:32farmhouse near Ostuni, dinners by the
31:34sea, tours through the white towns.
31:37Three days before their departure,
31:39Anna's brother had a motorcycle
31:41accident. Nothing irreparable, luckily,
31:44but he needed help and support. The
31:47trip was canceled. Stefano was furious
31:50at destiny, at bad luck, at life, which
31:53seemed to always steal something from
31:55him at the last minute. For days, he
31:58repeated the same phrase: "Nothing ever
32:01goes right for us." Then one evening,
32:05while driving back from the hospital
32:06with his brother-in-law sitting next to
32:08him, something simple happened. They
32:11really talked for the first time in
32:14years. Stefano and Anna's brother had
32:18never gotten along. Too different, too
32:21many digs at Christmas lunches, too
32:23many things left unsaid. In those weeks
32:27of running errands, visits, and coffee
32:30from the ward vending machines,
32:32something unexpected grew between them:
32:35a respect, almost a friendship. Stefano
32:40and Anna went to Puglia in October,
32:42with fewer tourists, softer light, and
32:45the sea still warm. And one evening at
32:48dinner, Stefano said to Anna: "If we
32:51had left in June, I would have had a
32:53nice vacation. This way, instead, I
32:56rediscovered a person." Now I want to
32:59tell you the truth on one point because
33:01it is important. Not every setback
33:04hides a gift that is ready, wrapped,
33:06and tied with a bow. That would be a
33:09fairy tale, and you deserve better than
33:11fairy tales. Sometimes you don't find
33:14the meaning of an event, you build it.
33:17That is what happened to Stefano. The
33:20canceled trip did not inherently
33:21contain the friendship with his
33:23brother-in-law. It was Stefano who, at
33:26a certain point, stopped looking only
33:27at what had been taken from him and
33:29started looking at what he had in front
33:31of him. This is what I mean when I say
33:34that everything works for you. Not that
33:37every thing is good, but that you can
33:39make something out of every thing. If
33:43you are currently going through a
33:44period where something has been taken
33:46from you and you still can't see what
33:48will come of it, that's okay. You don't
33:51have to see it now. Just write our
33:54phrase in the comments, even if today
33:56it seems more like a hope than a
33:58certainty. Everything works for me.
34:02Sometimes the phrase comes before the
34:04belief, and in time, the belief catches
34:07up to it. And here we come to the
34:10question you've perhaps been asking
34:11yourself for a few minutes. All of this
34:14is fine, but what about the truly dark
34:16days? The ones where you can't even get
34:20off the couch, where the phrase "
34:21Everything works for me" sounds almost
34:23like a mockery? The answer is simple
34:27and I want it to reach you clearly. On
34:30those days, you have the right to feel
34:33bad. Trust is not an obligation to be
34:36happy; it is not an exam to pass every
34:38morning. If you are sad today, you are
34:41sad. If you are afraid today, you are
34:44afraid. There is nothing to correct in
34:46this. Those who demand a constant smile
34:50from themselves end up feeling guilty
34:52for their pain, and thus add a second,
34:55much more useless weight to the first.
34:58Jung was deeply suspicious of this
35:00forced cheerfulness. For him, a full
35:03life didn't come from eliminating
35:05uncomfortable emotions, but from
35:07knowing how to welcome them. A whole
35:11person knows joy and knows sadness, and
35:14shouldn't be ashamed of either. At the
35:18end of his life, reflecting on
35:20everything he had experienced, Jung
35:22wrote an observation in his memoirs
35:25that is worth hearing calmly. He
35:28essentially said that the world we are
35:31born into is brutal and cruel, and at
35:33the same time, of divine beauty. And
35:37that which of the two aspects seems to
35:39weigh more depends largely on each
35:41person's temperament. Pause on this
35:44sentence because it is of rare honesty.
35:48Jung doesn't say the world is good, he
35:51doesn't say pain doesn't exist; he says
35:54that both things are true together at
35:57the same time: cruelty and beauty, loss
36:00and the gift. And that the difference
36:04between a life lived in fear and one
36:06lived in trust doesn't lie in the facts
36:09, which for everyone contain both
36:11things. It lies in which of the two we
36:14let weigh more on the scale. Acting as
36:18if everything works for you, then, does
36:20not mean taking pain off the scale; it
36:22means stopping the forgetting that, on
36:24the other side, there is also
36:26everything else. So, what does it mean
36:30concretely to trust on a dark day? It
36:34means one very small thing. It means
36:37not drawing definitive conclusions from
36:39a single day. A dark day tells you it
36:43has always been like this, it will
36:44always be like this. Trust responds in
36:48a low voice: "Today it is like this,
36:50tomorrow we shall see." Think about how
36:54you speak to a loved one when they are
36:55suffering. You don't tell them, "Come
36:58on, smile, you need to think positive."
37:00You make them tea, you sit beside them,
37:03you tell them it will pass. You see, on
37:06dark days, trust is exactly this:
37:09treating yourself as you would someone
37:12you love, with the same patience, the
37:14same gentleness, without rushing to
37:17heal, and without demanding that the
37:19pain leave on command. And on dark days
37:23, you can take action, even if only in
37:25a small way. You don't have to do big
37:29things; just one is enough: open the
37:31window to let in some air, or take a
37:33shower. Call someone and simply tell
37:37them: today. A difficult day. Go out
37:40for 10 minutes to walk around the block
37:43. These are gestures that tell the
37:45tiredest part of you: "I am not
37:47abandoning you." And on dark days, this
37:50is already a great deal. There is a
37:54story that has stayed in my heart, and
37:56it concerns exactly this: small
37:58gestures during periods when you still
38:00cannot see any light. Rosa is 68 years
38:04old and lives in Genoa, in an apartment
38:06with a view over the rooftops. When she
38:09was widowed, her daughter had recently
38:11moved to Milan for work. In just a few
38:14months, the house, which for 40 years
38:17had been full of voices, became very
38:19silent. Rosa says that the most
38:22difficult time was dinner hour. She
38:25would set the table for one, but it
38:26felt like she was setting it for no one
38:28. For a while, she stopped going out,
38:31except to buy groceries. She would tell
38:33her daughter on the phone, "What could
38:35possibly happen to me at this point?"
38:37And every time she said it, she
38:39believed it a little more. One day, in
38:42the building's lobby, she saw a flyer
38:44hanging on the bulletin board. The
38:46parish choir was looking for new voices
38:49. Rosa hadn't sung since she was a girl
38:52. Her first thought was, "As if, at my
38:55age, with the voice I have now." But
38:59then, almost as a challenge, she told
39:01herself: "What if I acted like someone
39:03to whom good things can still happen?""
39:06What would such a person do in front of
39:08this flyer?" She went. The first
39:11evening, she was so nervous that she
39:13was about to turn back on the stairs.
39:15She sang very little and poorly, and
39:17today she tells the story laughing. But
39:20on the way out, a lady from the group
39:22asked her if she wanted to walk a bit
39:23of the way together. From that walk
39:26came a coffee; from the coffee, a trip
39:29to Camogli; and from the trip, a small
39:31group of friends who now meet every
39:34Thursday. Rosa's loneliness didn't
39:36vanish by magic. There are still
39:39difficult evenings, and she doesn't
39:41hide it, but her life has started
39:43moving again, and not because something
39:45changed on the outside. That flyer had
39:48probably been on the board for weeks.
39:51What changed was the question with
39:53which Rosa looked at it. If you too are
39:56going through a period of silence and
39:59part of you is starting to think that
40:01nothing will happen anymore, write our
40:03phrase in the comments like a small
40:05door left ajar. Everything is working
40:08for me. And if you'd like, tell me what
40:11is the first small step you could take
40:14this week. There is an idea at the
40:17center of all Jung's thought that gives
40:19this discussion even greater depth.
40:22Jung called it individuation. Simply
40:27put, it is the process through which a
40:29person becomes themselves little by
40:32little; not what others expected, not
40:34what they had planned at 20, but the
40:37whole person they were called to be.
40:41And Jung had observed an important
40:43thing. This journey does not proceed in
40:47a straight line; it goes through
40:49detours, stumbles, closed doors, and
40:51periods where it seems you are going
40:53nowhere. Very often, it is the things
40:57we didn't choose that lead us toward
40:59parts of ourselves we would otherwise
41:01never have known. Federica would not
41:05have discovered her love for people
41:07without that "no." Stefano would not
41:09have reconnected with his
41:11brother-in-law without that cancelled
41:12trip. Rosa would not have started
41:15singing again without that silence.
41:18Seen this way, a difficult event is not
41:21just an obstacle on the road; sometimes
41:23it is the road changing direction to
41:25bring you closer to yourself. You don't
41:29always understand it right away; almost
41:30never do you understand it right away.
41:33But that is why Jung's question, "to
41:35what end," is not a consolation; it is
41:38a way of looking at one's life as a
41:40journey that has meaning, even when
41:43that meaning is not yet visible. There
41:46is another sentence by Jung, also in
41:48his memoirs, that in my opinion lies
41:50beneath everything we have said so far.
41:54He essentially wrote that the decisive
41:57question for a person is whether they
41:59are in relationship with something
42:01infinite or not, that this is the true
42:03question of a life. Pause on this word:
42:07infinite. Jung didn't necessarily mean
42:11a specific religion; he meant the
42:14feeling of being part of something
42:16larger than one's day, one's bank
42:18account, one's successes and failures.
42:22When you feel in relationship with
42:24something larger, events stop being
42:26definitive sentences and become
42:28milestones. A missed train, a bad
42:32interview, a postponed trip are no
42:34longer the final judgment on your life.
42:37They are pieces of a path you cannot
42:39yet see in its entirety. And it is
42:42precisely for this reason that acting
42:44as if everything is working for you is
42:46not naivety. Those who are in
42:48relationship with something infinite do
42:50not need every single day to go well.
42:53They only need to know that the road
42:55continues. Now I want to leave you with
42:58a simple practice to do every day. It
43:01only takes a few seconds at a door and
43:032 minutes in the evening. Every time
43:07you leave the house, with your hand
43:09already on the handle, stop for a
43:11moment. Feel the weight of your body on
43:14your feet, take a slow breath, and say
43:16softly: "Everything is working for me."
43:20Then add just one question: who do I
43:23choose to be out there? Not what do I
43:26have to do, but who do I choose to be:
43:28someone defending themselves against
43:30everything or someone walking with
43:32confidence? The answer can change every
43:35time. The important thing is that you
43:38choose it and not the circumstances.
43:40And it is no coincidence that this
43:42practice begins right in front of a
43:44door. You will understand why in a
43:46moment. In the evening, before sleeping
43:48, think back on the day and ask
43:50yourself a different question than the
43:53one we usually ask. Not what went wrong
43:56, but what did this day give me. Even
44:00on tough days, there is always
44:02something. A sentence that made you
44:05reflect, a mistake that taught you
44:06something, a moment of silence, someone
44:09who smiled at you at the supermarket
44:11checkout. If you want, write it down in
44:13a notebook, even just one line. After a
44:16few weeks, flipping through those pages
44:18, you will notice something surprising.
44:21There were far fewer empty days than
44:24you thought. And if you want to go even
44:27deeper, there is a third exercise you
44:30can do just once, calmly, maybe on a
44:32Sunday afternoon. Take a sheet of paper
44:35and divide it into two columns. In the
44:38left column, write three things that
44:40seemed like misfortunes when they
44:42happened. A failed exam, an unwanted
44:45move, a broken relationship, a lost job
44:48, a project that went up in smoke. Not
44:51the most tragic ones, but the
44:52medium-sized ones that seemed enormous
44:54at the time. In the right column, next
44:58to each one, write what came after—
45:01not what you lost, but what arrived.
45:05Someone you met because of that path, a
45:08skill you didn't know you had, a choice
45:10you never would have made otherwise, a
45:13home, a friendship, a new awareness.
45:17Not all lines will have an answer and
45:19that’s okay, but almost always
45:21something surprising happens. Looking
45:24at the right column, you realize your
45:27life has worked for you many more times
45:29than you remembered, only you didn't
45:31notice it while it was happening. It is
45:34Jung’s question "to what purpose"
45:36asked with the benefit of hindsight.
45:38And when you ask it enough times
45:40looking back, it becomes easier to ask
45:42it looking forward as well. Keep that
45:45paper for days when your confidence
45:48wavers; read it again. It is proof
45:50written in your own handwriting that
45:53the closed doors in your life were not
45:55the final word. The door, the evening,
45:58and that paper to keep. Small gestures,
46:01nothing else is needed, because what
46:04you do every day, even in a small way,
46:06counts much more than what you do just
46:08once, even in a big way. Before I tell
46:11you about the door, however, let's
46:13pause for a moment together. If you are
46:15driving, keep your eyes on the road and
46:18just listen; otherwise, if you like,
46:20place a hand on your chest. Think of
46:23the situation that is weighing on you
46:24most during this period. You don't have
46:27to resolve it now; just let it come
46:29before you, exactly as it is. Feel
46:32where it settles in your body—perhaps
46:33in your shoulders, perhaps in your
46:35stomach, perhaps in your throat. Now
46:38take a breath a little longer than
46:40usual and try saying quietly to
46:43yourself, addressing that very
46:45situation: "I don't know where you will
46:48lead me yet, but I choose to walk as if
46:51even you are somehow working for me."
46:54You don't have to feel anything special
46:56. It is enough to have said it once
46:58with sincerity. That is how you strike
47:01the first blow of the hoe into a new
47:03furrow. Take another breath and let go
47:06of your hand. And now, as I promised
47:08you at the beginning, I will tell you
47:10about the door. When Jung built his
47:14house in Küsnacht, on the shores of
47:16Lake Zurich, where he lived and worked
47:19for most of his life, he had a Latin
47:21phrase engraved above the entrance: "
47:24Vocatus atque non vocatus, deus aderit,
47:26" called or not called, the God will be
47:29present. It is an ancient response
47:32attributed to the Oracle of Delphi that
47:34Jung had found in the collection of
47:37ancient sayings edited by Erasmus of
47:39Rotterdam, and he loved it so much that
47:41he wanted those same words on his
47:43family tomb. What does it mean? Jung
47:47essentially explained that the phrase
47:49served to remind him and the people who
47:52came to him that something greater is
47:54always present, whether we call upon it
47:56or not, whether we believe in it or not
47:58, whether we notice it or not. And this
48:02is the key to our entire discussion.
48:05Acting as if everything is working for
48:08you does not mean convincing life to
48:10take your side; it means stopping the
48:12behavior of acting as if you are in an
48:14empty, hostile, or indifferent world.
48:17The missed train, the "no" received,
48:20the cancelled trip. Even within those,
48:23called or not called, there is
48:24something that accompanies you,
48:26something that is working forward
48:28toward a purpose that you might only
48:29understand in a few years. You don't
48:32have to understand everything today;
48:34you just have to stop closing the door.
48:37And perhaps this is truly the deepest
48:40meaning of those words on Jung's door.
48:43They are not a promise that everything
48:44will always go well. They are an
48:47invitation to leave and enter your home
48:49every day with the awareness that we
48:51are never truly alone in what happens
48:54to us. Those who leave home like this
48:57walk differently, look at people
49:00differently, and very often are looked
49:02at differently themselves. Think about
49:06how many times, looking back, you
49:08discovered that the worst thing about a
49:10certain year was also what made you
49:12change your path for the better. You
49:15didn't notice it then; you notice it
49:16now. Acting "as if" means granting
49:20yourself that same trust while things
49:22are happening, and not just years later
49:24. Do you remember the image we started
49:27with? Moving through your days with the
49:30quiet certainty that whatever happens
49:32will work for you. Now you know that
49:36this certainty is not magic and it is
49:38not an illusion. It is a question
49:41chosen each day, an attitude that
49:43decides what you will see, a posture, a
49:45few words, and some small gestures. And
49:48underneath all of this, a presence
49:50greater than yourself that you don't
49:52need to earn. So, the next time you put
49:56your hand on your front door handle,
49:59try to remember: called or not called,
50:02something is present, and whatever this
50:04day brings, you can ask yourself not "
50:07why me?" but "what is this for, where
50:11is it leading me?" If this video spoke
50:15to you, write our phrase one last time
50:17in the comments, this time as a promise
50:20for tomorrow. Everything works for me.
50:24And if you want, tell me about a time
50:26when acting with trust before even
50:28feeling it changed things for you. If
50:32you want to continue this journey
50:33together, subscribe to the channel and
50:35leave a like. We will meet again soon
50:38with another key to knowing yourself
50:39more deeply.

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of Agisci come se tutto ti andasse SEMPRE bene | Carl Jung by La Chiave di Carl Jung, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 8,108 words across 1,195 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to translate the transcript into 100+ languages.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, translation to 100+ languages, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.