Adwaith Standup Comedy Routine @ Valley Christian Elementary School Talent Show — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:04[Music]
2. 0:15one day my parents took me to the Dublin
3. 0:18Library while I was waiting in line to
4. 0:21check out my books a guy walked up to
5. 0:23the library in and said I'll have
6. 0:26cheeseburger and fries
7. 0:28please
8. 0:31and the librarian said uh sir you do
9. 0:34know you're at a library right and then
10. 0:38the guy said oh sorry I'll have a
11. 0:58cheeseburger
12. 1:02behind the guy was a chicken the chicken
13. 1:04walked up to the librarian and
14. 1:11said and the librarian HED over a set of
15. 1:14books I was curious and I wondered what
16. 1:17was happening so I decided to follow the
17. 1:19chicken I followed it out the door and
18. 1:22across the
19. 1:23road and no this is not a why did the
20. 1:26chicken across the
21. 1:28road and I follow across the road into a
22. 1:31pond at the edge of the pond was the
23. 1:34biggest frog I'd ever
24. 1:36seen the chicken handed the books to the
25. 1:39Frog and said book B
26. 1:43book and the Frog dumped through each
27. 1:45book with his front leg and said
28. 1:49RIT
29. 1:52[Applause]
30. 1:58RIT
31. 2:03[Music]
32. 2:08speaking of animals have you ever
33. 2:10wondered why seagulls live by the Sea
34. 2:13because if they live by the bay they
35. 2:15would be
36. 2:27Bagel when I was in kindergarten I had a
37. 2:30classmate named Peter and he had a very
38. 2:33loud voice one day when his mom took him
39. 2:37shopping at the supermarket Peter yelled
40. 2:41Mommy I got a
41. 2:48pee his mom was embarrassed and told him
42. 2:51to shush while taking him to the
43. 2:55bathroom his mom said you shouldn't yell
44. 2:58such things in front of strangers and
45. 3:01Peter said but what do I do when I got a
46. 3:10pee his mom thought for a while and then
47. 3:13got the answer she said next time you
48. 3:16have to pee tell me you want to sing a
49. 3:17song and Peter said okay and the next
50. 3:22time Peter went shopping with his mom
51. 3:24and he had to go to the bathroom Peter
52. 3:26yelled Mommy I want to sing a song
53. 3:33mom and his mom smiled and took him to
54. 3:35the bathroom that weekend his dad was
55. 3:38taking him camping and in the middle of
56. 3:40the night at the campsite um Peter
57. 3:43yelled Daddy I want to sing a
58. 3:50song his dad woke up and said what it's
59. 3:54the middle of the night there are folks
60. 3:56in those other tents and you'll wake
61. 3:57them up you can sing a song in the
62. 3:59morning
63. 4:04morning but Peter said but I want to
64. 4:07sing a song right
65. 4:18now and then his dad said all right all
66. 4:21right sing softly in my
67. 4:28ear
68. 4:30[Applause]
69. 4:40oh my
70. 4:58God how many of you don't know my sister
71. 5:01of Nita raise your hands if you do she's
72. 5:05a very funny girl and quite popular by
73. 5:07the looks of it you can put your hands
74. 5:09down
75. 5:10now so anyway I was teaching her about
76. 5:14life cycles that I learned in sence and
77. 5:16I asked her did you know that Tad PS
78. 5:19turn into frogs when they grow up and
79. 5:21she said and did you know that frogs
80. 5:24turn into princes when you kiss
81. 5:28them
82. 5:42speaking of princes there was once a
83. 5:45handsome prince but a wish put a curse
84. 5:47on him so that he could only speak two
85. 5:49words in a year one day he saw a
86. 5:52beautiful princess and instantly fell in
87. 5:54love with her and wanted to marry her
88. 5:56but he didn't he couldn't ask her to
89. 5:58marry him because he did not have have
90. 5:59any words to say so after waiting five
91. 6:02long years he knew we could speak 10
92. 6:05words for those of you who are get a
93. 6:07math you can add that
94. 6:08up he rushed to the princess's side and
95. 6:11said my dear princess I love you will
96. 6:15you marry me and and the princess said
97. 6:19uh sorry what did you
98. 6:25say and with that I too have run out of
99. 6:28words don't worry I can still talk and
100. 6:31you have all been a great audience but
101. 6:33for now
102. 6:43goodbye