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0:00this is brutally honest advice for men
0:02to win in their 20s I made my first
0:03million at 26 I crossed 100 million net
0:05worth at age 31 and this is my road map
0:08for things that I learned along the way
0:09I'd like to normalize a 6 day week 12-h
0:13hour per day work week for men between
0:1616 and 28 and despite all the selfworth
0:20voodoo that social media and Society
0:22will tell you you are valued based on
0:25your utility and when you're young you
0:27have none but you have a lot of energy
0:30and so trade that energy for experience
0:32points and become useful the first rule
0:34of Entrepreneurship according to Alex is
0:37use what you've got and the reason I
0:39like that is because many people always
0:41don't start things because they don't
0:44have the capital they don't have the
0:45connections they don't have the whatever
0:47insert insecurity or projection of blame
0:50and power they want to put on but the
0:52first rule is you use what you have and
0:54so it's about resourcefulness not
0:57resources and so if you have energy you
1:00use the resource you have you use what
1:01you've got to trade to develop
1:04experience to develop proof that you can
1:06get good at a skill and you only get
1:08good at a skill by not being good at a
1:10skill and repeating it and then failing
1:11at each time and then making incremental
1:13improvements which take many many
1:14repetitions until you actually get good
1:17and this may be a little controversial
1:19but I'm not here to be nice to you I'm
1:21trying to be kind which might mean that
1:23it hurts a little bit so let's make this
1:25practical if you have less than $100,000
1:27in savings and you would like to to have
1:30$100,000 or more in savings these are
1:32the things that I would recommend doing
1:33and that means that you have to check
1:34out your ego it's your ego is gone for
1:36this all right you don't care what other
1:38people think because they're not going
1:39to be there in 10 years all right
1:40because you have a whole new group of
1:41friends that are way [ __ ] better and
1:42cooler so one stop eating out discount
1:45groceries only that's if you're super
1:47poor if here's my caveat if you know how
1:50to make money you already have a base
1:52level of skills then eating Chipotle and
1:55whatever whatever you can door Dash it
1:57in so that you can keep working the
1:58moment I realize I can make $500 every
2:0030 minutes by selling I was like oh I'm
2:03never buying I'm never cooking food or
2:05grocery shopping ever again anything
2:07that was less than $500 an hour was was
2:10now immediately outsourced all right but
2:12this advice is for people who are super
2:14broke okay so if you don't have the
2:16skill set yet at all and you're
2:19struggling to just get things going then
2:22you need to be completely on the
2:23defensive so that you can have enough
2:25money so that you can start taking bets
2:27cuz the only way that you're going to
2:28get ahead is that you have to make bets
2:30you got to make bets on education you
2:32got to make bets on opportunities you
2:33got to make bets on inventory you got to
2:34make make bets on software you want to
2:36start a Shopify score you want to start
2:37a school Community you want to start
2:39something it's still going to cost some
2:40money right you might have to buy a
2:42camera you have to buy some software
2:43that helps you edit videos like there's
2:45some expenses all right and so having a
2:48big stockpile allows you to be patient
2:50the the more money you have the longer
2:52you out you can think because you don't
2:53have to worry about tomorrow you know
2:55that next month and the month after and
2:56the month after taking care of because
2:57even if you made no money you've got
2:59enough that's how you can start thinking
3:01longterm people are like think think
3:02longterm think long term but like unless
3:04if you have payroll and you've got or
3:05you've got rent or you've got you've got
3:07groceries to pay you can't think
3:08long-term because you're in survival
3:10mode and so I'm trying to get Survival
3:12to be as low as humanly possible for you
3:14so that you could get into Thrive mode
3:16but it's all relative if you make 40
3:19Grand a month and spend 40 Grand a month
3:20you're going to be in the same survival
3:21mode but if you make 40 Grand a month
3:22and spend four you're going to have
3:24you're going to have every month you
3:25make 10 months worth of income and so in
3:28two months you've got you've got 20
3:29months saved up you're good and then you
3:31can get super aggressive that other 36
3:33and start really betting to to double
3:35down all right so here's the very broke
3:39five six things that you can do to
3:42immediately spend way less one stop
3:44eating out discount groceries only two
3:46stop buying new clothes go to Goodwill
3:48only three only attend free friend
3:51events all right so think of what I just
3:52said think about all the events that
3:54friends will tell you to come to
3:55weddings Bachelor parties uh birthdays
3:59um just nights out because it's thirsty
4:01Thursday whatever only attend free
4:04friend events and if they don't support
4:06your goals they're not your friends
4:08think about that if I said hey I've got
4:11this goal and I said hey there's this
4:12human being and he wants to get you to
4:13not have the goal would you describe
4:14them as a friend or an
4:16enemy think about it some of you some of
4:19the people in your life that you call
4:21friends are actually your
4:22enemies you just don't know it now four
4:26take the rest of the time that you have
4:28to a apply to jobs that make more than
4:30your current job B pick up side hustle
4:32work C learn skills that you can trade
4:36for a higher hourly rate than you
4:37currently
4:38do when I say trade I mean you make more
4:41per hour than what your current current
4:43skills pay you all right and then five
4:45find the hardest worker in the room when
4:47you enter that new job or that new place
4:50and then double their level of input so
4:52if they knock on 100 Doors you knock on
4:54200 they make a 100 dials you make 200
4:56dials right when I had Jacob my young
4:59neighbor I gave him this exact advice
5:01and he was expected to on his team do
5:04$100 a day he did between 300 and 400
5:06and so guess what he got better faster
5:09and then once you follow all of those
5:11steps this is what you need to do next
5:13wait 36 months and this is what I mean
5:16by patient with your outputs impatient
5:18with your inputs and the crazy thing is
5:21that you can change your life in one
5:24decision I can get drunk Drive in a car
5:26and change my life forever right I can
5:28happen like that but it can happen just
5:30like that the other way it's just that
5:31the outcome's delayed that's the only
5:33difference you can change your life
5:35today In This Moment by making these
5:37decisions and the and your Life Path
5:40will have veered you will have changed
5:41Direction your tree of of life will move
5:44it's just that it takes time for that
5:46new direction to bear fruit whereas you
5:48can poison the fruit in a second you can
5:49kill a tree real fast you just can't
5:51grow one real fast but it doesn't mean
5:53that if a seed's planted and you're
5:54watering it it's not growing it just
5:56takes a second to get above the surface
5:58I think you can solve a lot of male
6:00Problems by getting in shape and making
6:02money you'll still have problems they'll
6:04just be smaller and you'll have more
6:06resources to handle them so let's talk
6:08about the making money part first
6:11fundamentally in order to make money you
6:13have to provide value to some someone
6:14either an employer or customers but
6:17either way you have utility which you
6:19exchange for money and so by making that
6:22a goal then it means that you're going
6:24to increase your own usefulness and so
6:27somebody who is more useful all of a
6:29sudden develops other ancillary skills
6:31around that utility that they can use in
6:33other parts of their lives if you're
6:34good at sales guess what you can do when
6:36you're talking to girls you can use the
6:38same conversational skill set if you're
6:40trying to negotiate uh a purchase for a
6:43car or a house or whatever like those
6:46skills generalize they transfer across
6:48domains and so a lot of people think
6:50it's like well when would I ever be a
6:52salesperson or when would I ever be
6:54outbound what like it doesn't matter
6:56it's not about that thing the thing is
6:58it's like real life skills actually do
7:00generalize like this isn't elementary
7:02school or or middle school when you're
7:03learning calculus or algebra or whatever
7:06and thinking like what am I going to use
7:07this in real life one it is real life
7:09right now
7:10two these skills do get used across
7:13domains of all of my friends who are s
7:16Millionaires and billionaires to a
7:18person they started in what I would
7:21consider a high volume sales environment
7:24so that's either door knocking cold
7:28calling or some sort of in-person
7:30business where they had many many many
7:33conversations with strangers on a daily
7:35basis and I think there's and I'm
7:37talking not like a a month or six months
7:40I'm talking like three five years where
7:42no one knew their name they were just
7:44some faceless representative that stood
7:47there at the door saw people sold
7:50memberships sold Insurance sold solar
7:53sold whatever and the thing is is like
7:56skill development happens through volume
7:58and feedback loop so it's the number of
8:00repetitions you have times the amount of
8:03improvement between repetitions brute
8:05forcing the amount of volume definitely
8:06will help if you can give yourself
8:08feedback I've seen people say hey I've
8:10actually made a 100 pieces of content
8:12now this is like 1% of people because
8:13most people do nothing but of the 1% of
8:16people who say okay I post it every day
8:18for a year the thing is is they didn't
8:20do the most important part which is you
8:22don't just like make a video and post it
8:23and just every day like hey make a video
8:25post it make a video post it you have to
8:27look at what you did and what you could
8:28do better fundamentally that is the the
8:30Cornerstone of feedback and so you look
8:33at the top 10 videos you made over the
8:34last month and you say okay how do I do
8:36more of that and how do I do less of the
8:38bottom 10% and you just pick one thing
8:40that you did well there and you try and
8:41do it in every video going forward and
8:43that develops a checklist of things to
8:45do so that you develop a skill and So
8:48speaking from my own experience the
8:50first sales conversation I ever had
8:52first off I had zero sales training no
8:53one was like hey this is the script this
8:55is how you go over they're like hey
8:58here's a new lady go sign her up and so
9:01I was like okay and I didn't even know
9:03this was a sale I didn't know the I
9:05didn't know the term sales I just he
9:07said go sign her up and I said okay and
9:10so I walked over and and she was like
9:12Hey you know I want to know more about
9:13the gym and I said well do you want to
9:16know and she was like well I mean like
9:19how much is it and I was like oh it's uh
9:22whatever 150 bucks a month and she was
9:23like okay and I was like you want to
9:25sign up and she said I left my credit
9:28card at home
9:29and I was like okay and she was like
9:31I'll be back with the credit card and I
9:33was like cool and so I walked out and uh
9:36it was like 2 minutes right and I walked
9:38out and the owner Sam was there with a
9:40few of other other gym owners he had
9:42brought a few gym owners in so it was
9:43like three or four gym owners there and
9:45uh he was like damn he was like that was
9:47fast and I was like yeah he's like you
9:49closed her and I was like yeah and and
9:52he was like with a credit card and I was
9:55like oh no she's she's going to go get
9:56it and she'll be back and they just
9:58looked at each other
9:59and then looked back at me and then just
10:01started laughing at me uncontrollably
10:03like couldn't breathe at how dumb what I
10:06had just said was and the thing is is I
10:08had no experience and I and I tell that
10:10story because so many people assume that
10:13like I walked out of the womb closing
10:15deals you know what I mean like hey
10:17nurse what are you doing later you know
10:18what I mean
10:20like but it wasn't like that right like
10:23I didn't know I I didn't I even know the
10:25term and so you know over time I just
10:28started developing like okay well what
10:30do you do and I watched other people say
10:31I was like okay they start with asking
10:32them why someone's there ask them about
10:34their goals ask them things that they've
10:36done in the past that didn't work I like
10:37okay that that that seems to work okay
10:39and then when they asked them to buy
10:41then if they don't want to say yes they
10:43ask them more questions rather than just
10:44saying okay so I started to develop at
10:46least an understanding of the framework
10:48of how sales occurred but I still wasn't
10:50good right and so then I went through
10:52like that Rocky cut scene period where
10:54this is where I'm very grateful for this
10:55is that uh Facebook ads is when I
10:57started running them in 2013 where super
10:59cheap and so it actually gave me so many
11:03repetitions because not only was I
11:05taking 15 to 20 consults a day in person
11:09I was also working leads and so I'm
11:10talking to strangers over the phone to
11:12set the appointments and so all I got
11:13was just names on a list and I would
11:15call them set the appointment like who's
11:16this again you know all of that um and
11:20then and by the way if you are local um
11:23you just say the name pause with a
11:24question mark at the beginning you're
11:26like John and then they'll be like yeah
11:28you're like this is Alex I'd pause and
11:31they'd be like they're like who the [ __ ]
11:33is Alex I'd be like from Facebook you
11:35signed up for our blah blah blah blah
11:36blah our thing yeah I'm just calling to
11:39make sure that uh you're not a crazy
11:41person from the internet and neither am
11:42I I was like we're actually on the
11:44corner of X and Y I was like right next
11:46to the 7-Eleven they're like yeah I'm
11:48like okay cool well I just wanted to see
11:49what time you want to come come by I was
11:51like we have the sweetest facility in
11:52the world not really but it's uh at
11:53least pretty decent for this area but we
11:55have five out of five coolness and they
11:58would just laugh they be like I can make
11:59it at six and I'm like six works I was
12:01like do you want a picture of me or just
12:03of the address and they're like just the
12:05address I'm like all right sounds good
12:06I'll text it to you and I'll see you
12:07later today right so that kind like
12:09notice the like half Giggles between
12:11each word like it's it's showing that
12:13you're positive tone person high energy
12:16and someone's like man this guy seems
12:17cool or this gal seems cool right and so
12:20they're more likely to show up they're
12:21more likely now if I maintain that tone
12:24if they give me an objection I can pivot
12:26really easily if I'm like neutral or
12:28like hi I saw that you signed up on the
12:30internet for our thing uh would you like
12:32to come in they're like uh well tell me
12:34more about it like well it's just you
12:36have no you have no room for messing up
12:38and so I always tried to have more
12:41Rapport and bring a lot of energy and
12:43the thing is is like if you've seen any
12:45of my content I'm not naturally like a
12:46high energy person um I will continue to
12:49work which is different than being like
12:51up here and so I developed a lot of
12:54things to try and keep myself energized
12:56and so I had a small trampoline that I
12:59would bounce on uh before and between
13:02every sales appointment it sounds
13:04ridiculous but if you I'm telling it's
13:06it's like a hundred bucks if you buy one
13:08of those little trampolines and you
13:09bounce either between sales calls or
13:12between people like I'd have people
13:14coming in as I was still bouncing and
13:15I'd be like I know this is ridiculous I
13:17was like but try and be in a bad mood on
13:19a trampoline you can't do it you can't
13:21do it you can't do it and I challenge
13:22you too you could be in a bad mood if
13:24you try jumping around like you feel
13:25like such a child it's ridiculous but
13:27what would happen is like I would really
13:28I would would also get a little bit
13:29exercise my blood would keep moving but
13:31it's also just like mentally um
13:34literally
13:35bouncing gave me a lot of energy for
13:37these appointments and so I say this
13:39because I developed all of these things
13:41over time and so if you're starting out
13:44you're not going to be good that's why
13:47you're new you have no experience but
13:49there's a difference between there's a
13:50story that um shoot I can't remember
13:53where it is but there was a foreign kid
13:55who had never seen a banana before and
13:58so the adult gave the kid a banana and
14:02so the banana so the kid took the banana
14:04and then bit right into it with the skin
14:06and
14:07everything and another child was like
14:09you're such an idiot and then the adult
14:12yelled at that child and said no he just
14:14doesn't know any better and there's a
14:16very big difference between being dumb
14:18and being inexperienced right now you
14:20just don't have reps and so you're going
14:22to make a lot of mistakes like biting
14:24into the banana like at for just walking
14:26letting someone walk away assuming it's
14:28a Clos when they say that they're just
14:29gonna come back and call you with their
14:30credit card right by the way that never
14:32happens um very rarely but instead uh
14:37you want to just peel that banana you
14:38want to bite into the banana bite into
14:40the orange all of those mistakes as
14:43quickly as possible and not judge
14:45yourself for making the mistake and see
14:47the mistake as part of the process of
14:49being like that didn't work that didn't
14:51work and if I develop enough of these
14:53doesn't works then you just kind of walk
14:55the the mindfield and you get to where
14:57you're trying to go and people are like
14:58wow you're so good at this and you're
14:59like oh no no I actually just know all
15:01the things not to say in a sale and then
15:03they end up buying I just avoid all that
15:06and then they buy and to be clear I
15:07think I have a similar piece of advice
15:10but for very different reasons of
15:12telling young men in general or men to
15:14work harder and it's not because I think
15:17it's some sort of you know beating your
15:19chest I'm an alpha whatever thing it's
15:22just that for me the point of my life is
15:25to become the best version of me and in
15:26order to do that I need to learn because
15:28there's huge subcrib between where I am
15:30and where I want to go and the
15:31discrepancy is going to get filled with
15:33skills which means that I need to do
15:36repetitions to acquire failures that I
15:39can learn from to get better from and if
15:43I can do more of that in a shorter
15:45period of time I will learn more skills
15:47and by definition I will shrink the
15:49distance between myself and my ideal
15:52self and so that is pretty much the only
15:55thought process I have around this and I
15:58also believe that you need to be patient
16:02with outputs and impatient with inputs
16:05so let me unpack that patience in
16:07general is figuring out what to do in
16:09the meantime so when someone says Hey be
16:11patient what they just mean is figure
16:13out something else to do in the meantime
16:14and so if I'm telling you to be patient
16:16with outputs it means that you basically
16:18just have to figure out something else
16:19to do in the meantime while you wait for
16:21outputs to occur because you can't
16:23output you can't money doesn't appear
16:25you have to do something and then money
16:27happens right but the doing something
16:29part is the thing that you can control
16:31the money happening is the part that you
16:32don't control that comes afterwards it's
16:34an outcome right and so when I say
16:37patient with outputs that's the first
16:39part the second part is impatient with
16:42inputs and so if being patient is
16:44figuring out what to do in the meantime
16:46impatience is doing the thing in the
16:48meantime right and so it's the opposite
16:50of that it's the thing you do in the
16:52meantime and so if you want to be
16:54impatient with the input the input is
16:56the thing that's the action you do and
16:58so so by delineating that if you hear
17:01yourself thinking man why hasn't this
17:03happened yet you're talking about
17:05outputs and that means great if I think
17:07that thought I need to do more of this
17:09input right and so use your input your
17:12action your doing this the thing you use
17:16your hands for as your coping mechanism
17:20for your impatience without outputs I
17:23want to say that one more time whenever
17:25you have that feeling that things should
17:27be happening faster use action as your
17:30coping mechanism I used to write this
17:33down a lot uh and say it which was
17:36action alleviates anxiety and so when I
17:39would have this anxiety about the future
17:41of like why haven't I made it yet why
17:43are these other people doing better than
17:44me like is is this not going to work
17:46what if I'm on the wrong path action
17:48alleviates anxiety the only thing I can
17:51control with that I was is that I would
17:52work is that I would get better and the
17:53key point there was that it wasn't just
17:55working for work's sake it was working
17:57with the intention to improve
17:59and so you want to do repetitions
18:01because by doing things more times you
18:03get better at them typically just by
18:05accident but if you were deliberate
18:07about the point of doing this when I
18:09started working at a gym going from a
18:12white collar job it wasn't because I
18:13wanted to become a trainer for the rest
18:14of my life it was because I wanted to
18:16learn the
18:18skills and then I knew that once I
18:20learned those skills if I owned a gym
18:22then I would know how to do the training
18:23part as well and that would be good for
18:25me and so then when I was a gym owner
18:27and when I started and started working
18:29at a gym I wanted to own a big chain of
18:31gyms that was my that was my whole goal
18:32to start with I wasn't getting into this
18:34for one like I never had the goal of
18:36only owning just one gym and so even
18:38when I started that gym the whole point
18:40and I worked all the time because I
18:41thought of all the things that I didn't
18:42know how to do yet and so it wasn't
18:45about great I've made it I own a gym it
18:47was like I'm so deprived of where I want
18:49to be I have I have to fill this Gap as
18:51fast as I possibly can and so that's why
18:53I spent so much time on this and got
18:56feedback from as many human beings as I
18:58possibly could who were ahead of me so I
19:00want to say this clearly once I start up
19:02my gym one I paid for a mastermind for
19:06gym owners before owning a gym and I did
19:09that because I figured well why would I
19:10start a gym until I learn all the stuff
19:12that you guys did wrong I was like I'll
19:14just learn from all y'all's mistakes it
19:16sounds like a great deal for me it
19:18almost felt unfair I was like yeah okay
19:20he said don't start at one of those
19:21locations he said have good storefront
19:23he said make sure that you have you know
19:25good parking I was oo these are all good
19:26you know good things she like don't go
19:27too big I was like okay that's good and
19:29they're like make sure your rent's under
19:30this per foot I was like all right make
19:31sure I got that right and so I took all
19:33these notes in that I would have just
19:34Mis made huge mistakes on the on the
19:35upfront now once I did start my gym what
19:38a lot of people don't know is that every
19:40weekend I would either be on phone calls
19:43or I'd be driving out to other gym
19:45owners and I would and thankfully
19:46because I was so young when I started my
19:48business they were just like they felt
19:49bad for me and so they would just sit
19:52there and I'd be like hey why do you do
19:53that hey why do you do that hey why do
19:55you do that and it was like you know
19:57they'd be like God you're such a pain in
19:59the ass but I just wanted to learn right
20:01but I was always like willing to help
20:03them with anything they had you know
20:04what I mean I was like let me show you
20:05the stuff that's working well for me and
20:06I would always just share it um and the
20:08thing is is I would go there and they
20:09would say they did something and I'd be
20:10like huh that's weird that's different
20:12than the other guy and I I like that way
20:13better it didn't mean I had to take
20:15everything as as fact but I got a lot of
20:17ideas from that and then I would use
20:18them and if they didn't work I would
20:20just toss them out and if they did I
20:21kept it and that's how I quickly
20:24iterated the gym model to become much
20:26better than a lot of people's models
20:27despite me being younger because I was
20:30able to leverage everyone else's
20:32experience as fast as I could and jam it
20:34into my own and so I think like the
20:36people who move faster than life learn
20:38faster and the only way you learn is by
20:41changing your behavior with the same
20:43conditions which means that if a person
20:44walks in I say this is my six-point
20:47script a person who's identical walks in
20:49right afterwards if I've learned
20:51something that script changes means same
20:53condition new behavior and so if you
20:56keep doing the exact same thing every
20:58single day then you may not be learning
21:00and it's a key point it's good to work
21:02hard but it's good to work hard and
21:04smart which means that the work you do
21:06gets better because you tweak things and
21:08so if you're not documenting the process
21:11that you have and I'm not saying you
21:12making content about it but literally
21:13looking back at game footage looking at
21:15the calls you did looking at the content
21:17you did I do this today people ask me
21:19like what are the masterminds you're
21:20into what are the courses you learn from
21:23I have now broken apart the learning
21:26process that I have that works best for
21:28me because I see the biggest gains in
21:29Improvement haven't come from advice for
21:31me for the most part they came from
21:33looking at data which was let me look at
21:36the last 2,000 ads I made let me look at
21:38the top 50 let me look at what these
21:39ones have in common let me look at what
21:41they don't look like compared to the
21:43bottom 50 okay these ones have these
21:45characteristics these don't I'll do more
21:46of this and less of that and then I do
21:48another 100 ads and I look at the top 10
21:50again I say what do these ones have that
21:51these ones don't and I do that for sales
21:53calls I do that for Content I do that
21:54for meetings I do that for for
21:57businesses in general when you start
21:59zooming out and so that process of do a
22:02lot of volume then look at the outcomes
22:05that were good look at the activities
22:07that led to those outcomes that are
22:09positive do more of those activities
22:12look at the bottom percentages look at
22:13the things that led to not having that
22:16happen and do less of those and if
22:18you're younger and this is specific for
22:20everyone who's listening to this video
22:21if you're probably sub30 sub 28 maybe
22:25right if you're in your 20s or less you
22:27can probably get away with this which is
22:29that people ahead of you are more
22:32willing believe it or not to feel like
22:34they have status so you can give them
22:37status by saying be a mentor and the
22:40thing is a lot of young guys have a lot
22:41of ego right because you're trying to
22:42prove yourself trying to be a man
22:43whatever the thing is is that if you
22:46humble yourself it's not like there's
22:48some [ __ ] massive scoreboard where
22:50it's like who humbled themselves to whom
22:52across the whole us it doesn't it's not
22:54not exists it's just just within one
22:55Dynamic right and so if you go and say
22:58hey I don't know anything I'm happy to
23:00learn if you do that then a lot of
23:02people are like oh well he humbled
23:03himself well yeah I'm happy to teach you
23:05and the thing is they'll give you advice
23:06that's worth thousands of dollars years
23:09of your life for free if you just say
23:11you're better than I am at this but the
23:13thing is is that the end of the day none
23:15of it matters but scoreboard would be
23:18the thing that matters in business right
23:20and so the only thing that precedes the
23:23scoreboard is your learning I've spent
23:25ego points I've spent dollars I've spent
23:29time I've spent Social Capital I spent
23:33every resource that I had to get more
23:35learning faster because fundamentally
23:38the only thing and I think this is
23:39probably one of the biggest gifts my
23:40father gave me is believing that I am
23:43the asset I am investing in and the cool
23:46thing is is that you are the permanent
23:48hold right you can't sell you like
23:51you're you until you die and so this is
23:54the one asset you've got because you
23:56compound skills compound when you get
23:58really good at sales and really good at
23:59Finance guess what you can raise a
24:00billion dollars because you know how the
24:02finance World works and you know how the
24:04sales World works right if you know how
24:05to if you know how to code and market
24:08then guess what you can build software
24:10and sell it to gazillions of people
24:11because you have the product and the AC
24:12acquisition like skills stack
24:15disproportionately if you only know one
24:16you might not be able to make a tenth as
24:18much as if you know two now obviously
24:20those are big bucketed terms that have
24:21many many many skills underneath of them
24:23but fundamentally when you think about
24:24it that way you become a weapon so let's
24:26tackle the second part I said you you
24:28can solve a lot of male Problems by
24:30getting in shape and making money and so
24:32let's talk about the getting in shape
24:34side so you can avoid tons of problems
24:38in life by doing one thing going to bed
24:41on time and so instead of setting alarms
24:44to wake up set alarms to go to sleep on
24:46time it's hard to wake up late when you
24:48go to bed at 9: right and so the thing
24:50is is that that one simple Behavior
24:52actually can eliminate a lot of the
24:54things that derail men especially young
24:56men and so Charlie Monger talks about a
24:58lot which is like all I'd want to do is
25:00find out where I'm going to die and
25:02never go there the whole point is he
25:04thought so much more about avoiding
25:07stupidity than trying to be intelligent
25:09it's kind of like the stupidities are
25:10very easy to identify the intelligence
25:12is hard but if you avoid all stupidity
25:15you just become intelligent by default
25:17and so if you define intelligence the
25:19way I do which is rate of learning so
25:21how quickly you pick things up that is
25:23intelligence if you can avoid all of
25:25these things that make you look like an
25:27idiot right then you become more
25:30intelligent and so let's let's talk
25:32about this from the from the the getting
25:33in shape perspective show me a situation
25:36where you have two groups of men one
25:38group of men that is really out of shape
25:40and fat and another group of men that's
25:42really in shape that are going to
25:44outperform one another and this is
25:46generalized you have to take random
25:48sampling of the population bunch of in
25:50shaped guys a bunch of overweight guys
25:51who's going to do better at any task
25:53over and over again if we pick 10 tasks
25:55that are completely different the in
25:57shaped guys are going to do better than
25:58the out of shape guys period they're
25:59going to have more energy they're going
26:01to be more focused if it's anything
26:02inter related like inter relations based
26:04like those guys are going to close
26:05higher percentages if you're better
26:07looking you will close more if you're
26:09better looking you get paid more if
26:11you're better looking you get more
26:13promoted if you're better looking you do
26:15better in content period fight me and so
26:20the thing is is like if you have this
26:21one thing that affects every way that
26:23people see you and the only thing you
26:26have to do is control what you put into
26:28your mouth then don't you think it's
26:29worth developing that most basic skill
26:32of discipline at this point in your life
26:34because the thing is is that you want to
26:36get in shape young because if you're not
26:38in shape guess whose fault that
26:41is so get in shape now thing is is it
26:44costs time not money and right now
26:48you've got time and not money and time
26:51only becomes more expensive as you age
26:54so buy it now while time cost you the
26:57least and you have have the fewest
26:59responsibilities it'll help you no
27:01matter what life path you choose the
27:03thing that no one recognizes is that
27:04drinking cost you two days the day you
27:06drink and the day you recover and
27:08sometimes the weeks afterwards for the
27:10stupid thing you did while you were
27:11drunk that everyone else saw it reminds
27:13me of this quote from Muhammad Ali and I
27:15asked my team to pull it up because I
27:16think it's so good also because he was
27:18the greatest of all time and just a cool
27:19dude what's the the central part of your
27:22training is it running is it sparring or
27:25central part is dodging the nightclubs
27:28and the parties and the
27:31girls you want the truth and being in
27:33the bed by yourself 9:00 at
27:37night and if you can get by that you'll
27:40make
27:42it that's the truth now I tell you the
27:44truth you talk all that running and
27:45hitting the bags and jogging and vitamin
27:47you want dodging ladies is the main
27:50thing especially when you're pretty like
27:53me and I'll speak to myself personally
27:56when I had my intense periods of work I
27:59would take off for a long long time so
28:03the longest then I took off was two
28:04years while I was scaling gym launch
28:06from you know the 20 months we went from
28:07zero to 4 and a half million a month 4.4
28:10to be technical I didn't drink that
28:11whole period And once things settled out
28:13I was like all right I'm willing to
28:15drink again and right now acquisition.
28:17comom is scaling like crazy and so Lea
28:20and I both said let's just stop drinking
28:21for the foreseeable and same thing now
28:24so that was when I was in my 20s this is
28:26now when I'm in my 30s and I'll probably
28:28continue this until I feel like I'm at a
28:30place where things feel chill again and
28:32then like maybe I'll I'll partake again
28:33but the thing is is like if you're
28:35hungry argue me the opposite which is me
28:38drinking more will make it more likely
28:40for me to hit my goals I think you'd
28:41have a tough time making that argument
28:43and so right now everything's
28:45compounding is Amplified right the stuff
28:47you do now amplifies throughout your
28:49career and your life and so I would want
28:52to Stack as many advantages as I can to
28:54my favorite which is like I'm going to
28:56go to sleep on time I'm going to not
28:59drink right I'm going to get in shape
29:02right I'm going to do as many
29:03repetitions as I can I'm going to humble
29:05myself with people who are more
29:06experienced than I am even if I think
29:08I'm smarter than them they still know
29:10more and there's a big difference and
29:12this is what I think is really tough for
29:13younger guys is that your brain at 25 to
29:18you know like 25ish 25 to 30 is like
29:20Peak processing power but I'm way
29:23[ __ ] smarter now than I was then
29:26because I've still learned more and
29:28that's the thing is is that you may be
29:30smarter than someone in sheer processing
29:32power but they still might know more
29:34than you and so you can't live their
29:37life and especially if somebody is
29:38further ahead then they it still means
29:40that they have knowledge that you don't
29:43and so listen and humbling yourself to
29:46somebody even if you think you are
29:48smarter will teach you more because
29:50again argue the opposite I will learn
29:53nothing from no one how does that help
29:56you it helps you your ego feel good
29:58but at some point your ego is going to
30:00have to rectify its Good Feeling with
30:02reality which is that you're broke as
30:03[ __ ] and no one cares and so I would
30:06rather humble myself rather than have
30:08the world humble me this is a Bible
30:10quote that I just really like a lot it's
30:12Matthew 23:12 he said those who are
30:13humble will be exalted and whoever
30:16exalts himself will be humbled I
30:17actually told that to one of our our
30:18team the other day because I felt like
30:20his ego was getting a little bit bigger
30:22than it probably should have been and I
30:23said listen man I was like if you want
30:24to get humbled keep doing what you're
30:26doing I was like but if you want people
30:28to talk you up I was like humble
30:30yourself let your work work for you and
30:34then everyone else will exalt you and so
30:36I think most men want to be respected
30:38they don't have respect and so they
30:40compensate by exalting themselves
30:42because it makes them feel better in the
30:43short term but you look like an idiot in
30:44the long term and think about it like
30:46this like for some reason I don't know
30:47why we're wired this way but we say nice
30:49things about ourselves and we feel good
30:50but everyone else feels bad right if
30:54everyone else says nice things about you
30:55it doesn't make them feel bad to say it
30:57but it makes you feel good think about
30:58those people in your life who always
31:00like talk themselves up it's like what
31:02do you see you're like this guy's so
31:04insecure it's obvious and you look that
31:06way you don't feel that way but you look
31:08that way and some of the things that you
31:10develop as you get older is the
31:11separation between how I look and how I
31:13feel which is like oh even though this
31:15feels good I look dumb doing this your
31:18feelings can lie to you in terms of how
31:21well this behavior is serving you with
31:23your goals in the long term and while
31:25we're talking about your friends
31:26exalting you and your friends saying
31:27you're cool how much do their opinions
31:30of you really matter because now this is
31:32going to take a completely different
31:33direction than you expected which is you
31:35being humble is a description that other
31:37people would give to you but it relies
31:39on you caring a lot of what they think
31:41which is a double-edged SW and the
31:43younger you are actually at all points
31:45it hurts you it's kind of like the stock
31:47market one person two person one day or
31:50two days in the stock market it's just
31:52about sentiment but how big the stock
31:54goes over a decade is about how good the
31:57intrinsic stock is and so if a few
31:59people say you're an [ __ ] no big deal
32:02if everyone says you're an [ __ ]
32:03probably a problem right and so it's
32:06understanding the Nuance between that
32:07but your friend group has a
32:09disproportionate sway over your behavior
32:11and so your reference group is one of
32:14the number one correlations with how big
32:18your life gets or rather the goals you
32:20achieve now they've done the studies in
32:21terms of Finance because it's easy to
32:23quantify but your reference you're have
32:24the five people you compare yourself to
32:27not necessarily spend the most time with
32:28but compare yourself to are the ones
32:31that determine your future and so
32:35sometimes you have to like your goals
32:38more than you like your friends and
32:40every person who wants to do something
32:42in their life or has done something with
32:44their lives is going through the exact
32:46same chapter that you're going through
32:48right now and it's the lonely chapter
32:50it's the chapter where you don't fit in
32:51with your old friends but you don't have
32:54the achievements yet to fit in with a
32:55new group of friends and you're doing
32:57all the stuff right the fruit tutorials
32:58you're watching these videos and you're
33:00reading everything you can get your
33:01hands on and you're trying to set up
33:03whatever your podcast is or your content
33:05thing right and you're going through it
33:06and you're thinking to yourself like is
33:08this even worth it because you're not
33:09seeing any signs of success but the sign
33:11of success is the hate that you get
33:13along the way it is the leading
33:14indicator and what you can't do is bend
33:17the knee to their hate and try and fit
33:20back in and conform because it's
33:22comfortable and it's warm it's like the
33:24scene in The Matrix when Trinity opens
33:26the door the very beginning in the first
33:28Matrix when Neo is about to take the red
33:30pill and he wants to get out of the car
33:32and Trinity says you've been down that
33:34road Neo you know that road and you know
33:37exactly where it ends and I know that's
33:39not where you want to be and then he
33:41closes the door and he gets back in and
33:43he goes they they go to go take the red
33:45pill so right now this moment that
33:47you're going through is Trinity opening
33:49the door and saying you could go back
33:51you could go party you could go to the
33:53nightclubs you could say that this was
33:55just a hobby you could downplay what
33:56you're doing like I'm just trying out oh
33:58yeah I'm not I'm not really that into it
33:59it's just like just some thing I found
34:01right but then as you're saying you feel
34:05like a fake cuz you're lying to yourself
34:06you're lying to them about what you re
34:09what your real intentions are and in
34:10that moment when you're trying to think
34:12about having that conversation you
34:13remember exactly why you left why it is
34:15that road and you know exactly where it
34:17ends and that's not where you want to be
34:19and the thing is is that your goals will
34:23stick with you longer than these
34:25relationships your goals will serve you
34:27more than these relationships and this
34:29is what this is the stuff that no one
34:31will tell you I can tell you personally
34:33I don't talk to I talk to one friend
34:35that I have from middle school and high
34:38school all right I talk to one person
34:42two people from college and it's not
34:44like we talk all the time I talk to him
34:46every six months or so and so I say this
34:49because although these relationships
34:50feel like they're incredibly important
34:52in your life right now they will
34:54disappear the majority of these of these
34:56friendships are based on convenience
34:58you're only friends with them because
34:59they lived in your dorm they lived in
35:00your neighborhood they went in to
35:01English class with you but as soon as
35:03your conditions change you change where
35:05you're at all many of them will fade
35:08away because you'll develop new skills
35:11you'll develop new context you'll meet
35:12new people who are upskilled from that
35:15and then you'll compare them to compare
35:16to these people and you'll be like man
35:18these are better friends these are
35:19people who are more aligned with my
35:20goals they're trying to grow when I want
35:22to work all day Saturday they're like
35:23cool I'll work with you rather than
35:25being like dude we're going on a pontoon
35:27boat where you going to be and you have
35:30to accept that as the price and the
35:33thing is it's like it's only if you want
35:35that like if you if you want to live a
35:38life that is the same as everyone else's
35:40then you can do what everyone else does
35:42the only issue is when you want to do
35:45what everyone else does but get what
35:46none of them have if you want to be
35:48exceptional by definition you will be
35:51the exception you will not be normal you
35:54will be unlike the others and so it
35:56makes sense that you would be in the
35:59outgroup and it hurts as a human being
36:01because you want to be in the ingroup
36:02it's part of our DNA shame is a real
36:05thing and we don't want to feel that
36:07because in in the real in the in the N
36:09natural world if you're outside of the
36:11group you have a much lower likelihood
36:12of living and procreating so it's strong
36:15in our DNA to be in group but the thing
36:18is is that you're actually not in group
36:20or out of group you're transitioning
36:22you're between groups and so in that
36:25lonely chapter that's where you can do a
36:28disproportionate amount of work because
36:29you have no distractions so you listen
36:31to the podcast you read the tweets you
36:33watch the videos you consume the content
36:34because you know deep down I can do more
36:36than this and you begin to see the
36:38person that you could be and realize how
36:41far you need to go to get there but
36:43despite how far away it seems your goals
36:45the best version of you you look back
36:47down the Dead End Road and you know
36:49that's not where you want to be and so
36:50you keep going and realize that there's
36:52no turning back once you see the
36:54Promised Land once you see what you
36:56could become you can't go back and if
36:58you're not sure who your real friends
37:00are one ask is it more likely or less
37:03likely that I hit my goals with this
37:05person in my life just think about it
37:07like if this person is in my life is it
37:08more likely my goals then remove them
37:10because it's better to have friends who
37:12force you to grow than ones who accept
37:14you as you are because the biggest risk
37:15to your future isn't your future
37:17competition or your Rivals it's the
37:19distraction that you insist on keeping
37:22in your life rather than doing the
37:24things you know you should be doing but
37:25aren't think about it like this imagine
37:28a competitor that you'd never want to go
37:30against focused persistent always
37:33learning always improving Relentless
37:35says no to everything but that which
37:37makes them stronger you know what he
37:39looks like you know how he acts you know
37:41who he Associates with great that's
37:45future you now become him you have to
37:47kill your current self for your new self
37:50to have room to grow and so it's this
37:52constant appraisal of your skills and
37:55activities and saying which of these
37:57makes me stronger which of these makes
37:59it more likely for me to hit my goal and
38:01I just want to give you that frame
38:03because that like that single frame of
38:05is this person being in my life make it
38:07more likely or less likely that I hit my
38:08goal is this activity or this behavior
38:10that I do make it more or less likely I
38:12hit my goal and I consistantly just ask
38:14that question over and over and over
38:16again and that is because for me I do
38:18love my goals more than I love my friend
38:20because my goals will be with me long
38:22after they are and so if you think about
38:25your relationship with your goals and
38:27you put it on the same pedestal or
38:29higher than your relationship with your
38:30friends you're going to lose one of the
38:33relationships and the question is which
38:35one is the one that's going to serve you
38:36more in the long term that's a decision
38:38for you but for me I can tell you
38:39personally achieving my goals has served
38:42me more than any one person has and
38:44because achieving your goals is a
38:46generalized thing it can open all doors
38:48to new relationships and so you do have
38:51to burn sometimes what you have in order
38:53to have what you want if you want to
38:55impress poor people out spend them if
38:58you want to impress rich people outwork
39:00them and I can tell you this being in
39:03the position that I'm at because I have
39:04tons of young men who work for me and I
39:07mean they hear all the content that I
39:08make and they know that and so if you
39:11lease a Ferrari for $5,000 a month or
39:14whatever I know you're not rich and
39:17every rich person isn't impressed by
39:19that because we know what it costs you
39:21only impress poor people and if you do
39:23it really early in your career every
39:24rich person's like man you should be
39:26reinvesting that to get way Fu bigger
39:28now if you're like in a ficado and you
39:29want to have lots of cars and that's
39:30like again that's different it depends
39:32on the reason you're doing it it's like
39:33you shouldn't be cooking your own food
39:35unless you love cooking but if you don't
39:37love cooking then you should Outsource
39:38that [ __ ] as fast as possible so that
39:39you can get your time back it's
39:41understanding the context of this which
39:42of course this will be taken out of
39:43context but hopefully you watching or
39:46listening to this can at least get it
39:48Lea and I both collectively started
39:50buying nicer things so living in nicer
39:52places having nicer cars I bought my
39:54home which was a nice house in Austin I
39:56think it cost me 1.7 million I bought it
39:59in cash and I bought it off one month
40:01paycheck and so I want to put that in
40:03context to like was it a ball in house
40:06totally it was sick I was super happy to
40:08be there but where I lived before that
40:10cost me 1,200 bucks a month and so
40:12you're like wait one point set right we
40:14spend money but by percentage the amount
40:17of money we spend is inconsequential if
40:19you want to buy the toys and you want to
40:21buy that stuff I'd say sure understand
40:23one whatever you spend you're taking
40:25away from the future now there is always
40:26a point you have to balance between
40:27consumption and investment if you never
40:29spend anything you live you live your
40:31entire life and you end up with a big
40:32pile of money and you didn't enjoy any
40:34moment of that I don't think that's the
40:36way to do it but I do think there's a
40:37ratio there and I think that ratio
40:38depends on you as an individual I tend
40:40to always over index on investment
40:42because I just I want to become a really
40:44like great version of me and I think
40:47that's going to cost money and it's
40:48going to cost time and I like to be
40:49ready for those opportunities because
40:51the opportunities get bigger and have
40:52more zeros next to them and there's no
40:54masterminds you get to at a certain
40:55level you just do a deal with someone
40:57and for me to Pony up for the deal might
40:58be like hey you got to write a check for
40:5910 million I'm like all right I got to
41:01have that ready for just like on the
41:03sidelines waiting for opportunities
41:05right and so the idea is being on the
41:09defensive so that you can be on the
41:11offensive it's living far below your
41:13lifestyle so that you can more heavily
41:15invest in the growth of the business and
41:17so your lifestyle is your competitor's
41:19opportunity there's you and other
41:21version of you there's Bizarro you right
41:23and Bizarro you wants to live this great
41:25lifestyle and has the Ferrari and the
41:26nicer place and whatever but when an
41:28opportunity comes along Bizarro doesn't
41:30have any savings because he's trying to
41:33to show face right but the thing is is
41:35that every's trying to show face for
41:36hates him anyways because it looks like
41:38he's bragging but also they know how
41:40much he makes relatively and they're
41:42like God he's got to be spending his
41:43whole check paycheck he looks
41:44irresponsible there's zero advantage to
41:47being accurately judged if you are
41:49strong you want to appear weak you want
41:51to have more money than people expect
41:53you to have and so for me when we did
41:56buy the Bentley which I bought because I
41:59got I'll be honest I got pressured into
42:01it they're like dude come on you make
42:02all this money like buy something nice
42:04for yourself and I was like I guess
42:05people buy nice cars so I bought a car I
42:07bought a Bentley and um I returned it
42:09six months later uh and I lost 20 grand
42:11on it and I was like this was just a
42:13complete waste of everything like I just
42:15don't care at all about this because you
42:16only need three things to win you can
42:18write this down the balls to start the
42:21brains to learn and the heart to never
42:23quit and the good news is you already
42:25have all three you're just not using
42:26them because fundamentally if you found
42:28somebody and they started and they
42:30contined to get better and they never
42:31stopped they would win just think about
42:33it from fundamental Basics like if I
42:34said okay think of a person who only did
42:37one thing and all they dedicated their
42:39entire life to is doing that one thing
42:40and getting better and better at that
42:42thing and they did it for 50 years do
42:44you think that person would not be
42:45incredibly successful of course they
42:47would be then why aren't you doing it
42:49the problem is it's never been easier to
42:51start a business it's also never been
42:54easier to do nothing at all and this is
42:56what I mean by your distractions are the
42:58things that are getting in your way
43:00preventing you from doing the things you
43:01already know you should be doing but
43:02aren't right now if I were to say hey go
43:04get in shape what do you need to do what
43:05you want to say is I'm going to go do
43:07some research to find the best program
43:08and to find the best diet but if I just
43:10said no no no you can't look make a
43:12guess what would you say probably like
43:13well I need probably like go to the gym
43:14probably do some weights probably do
43:16some cardio move a little bit or to say
43:18do you want to stay at the same weight
43:19do you want to stay at the same cardio
43:20Pace or do you want to move those up
43:22over time you probably say I want to
43:23move those up over time like okay and
43:25then foodwise like do you want to
43:26probably eat more protein and Eli [ __ ]
43:28probably like yeah like well why don't
43:29we just start there most of the things
43:31you need to do you already know what to
43:33do and you delay doing them by under the
43:35guise of having a better plan but the
43:37reality is that your plan is always
43:38going to change as soon as you get new
43:40information and so the point is to start
43:42period and learn and it's giving
43:44yourself permission to have the humility
43:47to start a role that you know is not
43:50going to be your endgame because you
43:51just see it as one tile on the painting
43:54that's going to become the version of
43:55you that you want it's like I got to
43:56start at this corner I'm going to paint
43:57this corner up because I know that this
43:59Cornerstone of experience in door Todo
44:03or cold calling or media buying whatever
44:07is going to be something that I can
44:08build my whole career off of there are
44:11maybe trillions of dollars but at least
44:13hundreds of billions of dollars that are
44:15being made and dedicated every day to
44:17getting you to do nothing it's not a
44:18fair fight I want to be clear it's not a
44:20fair fight and they're winning and so I
44:23love this from from Andy forel he said
44:25personal Excellence is the ultimate
44:27rebellion and so I think like you want
44:30to be a [ __ ] Rebel be excellent and
44:32do it for you like you want to stick it
44:33to the man now just be great
44:36fundamentally the point of entertainment
44:38is to get someone to pay attention to it
44:40that's all entertainment does is pay
44:41attention to me right and so that means
44:45that you're not paying attention to the
44:47thing that matters more to you in the
44:49long term and so every dollar every
44:51minute of attention you pay to
44:53entertainment whether that's poring
44:55alcohol going out the clubs uh all of
44:57social media in general motivation porn
45:00if you will all of that is you not doing
45:04what you need to do to get to where you
45:05want to go you just have to be able to
45:07do things without seeing an immediate
45:08reward like if there's one meta skill
45:10that that overshadows all of this it's
45:14your ability to delay gratification is
45:16to delay a moment of reward that's it
45:19like that's all you have to do and in
45:20the beginning you just have to be able
45:21to do it long enough that you get one
45:22reward and that reward is typically
45:24outsized in its strength and then that
45:26will reinforce you sticking with it
45:27because the people who do work really
45:28really hard it's not like they're made
45:29of different Flesh and Blood than you it
45:30just means that they had a short period
45:32at some point where they said I'm going
45:33to shut everything else off and I'm
45:34going to go all in on this and then when
45:36they do get that first feedback loop
45:37like holy [ __ ] I made my first sale holy
45:39[ __ ] I I got my first lead from from ads
45:41holy [ __ ] I got my first you know 100
45:43followers whatever it doesn't matter
45:44like you have some feedback loop for
45:46whatever it is that you're trying to go
45:48after that then encourages you to do
45:50more and you're like oh this could work
45:51and then as soon as that turns on you
45:53can get obsessed with it if I had to
45:54sign a contract right now to be that you
45:57guaranteed that you'd be a millionaire
45:58in 10 years but you couldn't make any
46:00real money between now and then would
46:02you sign it every person I've asked says
46:04yes and so maybe if you are listening to
46:07this and you're not your head like okay
46:08I'm 30 I'm a millionaire yeah that
46:09sounds like a great deal by the way
46:11that's like 0. whatever 1% like no one
46:13is but if that's you a lot of stuff
46:16takes much longer and the problem is
46:17that when you're 20 you've only been an
46:19adult for like 3 seconds and so the
46:21thing is that 3 seconds feels a very
46:22long time but I have this belief that
46:25older people are more patient not
46:28because they're actually more patient
46:31it's just because your perception of
46:32time speeds up I can be more patient
46:35than a 5-year-old because for me one
46:37year is not 20% of my life so my
46:39perception of time shrinks I might have
46:42the same patience as a 5-year-old it's
46:44just that more time passes and so if you
46:46are younger then you have to just
46:49understand that your perception of time
46:50will speed up and so you will be able to
46:54exhibit patience you'll keep being able
46:56to do something in the meantime because
46:57the meantime will pass faster and so you
47:00have to over index on it when you're
47:02starting I mean I've got guys on my team
47:04who are like hey what's my next career
47:05move and they're like 30 days into their
47:07job and I'm
47:09like give it a second like you still
47:13suck like you went from suck to
47:15proficient like you're not great yet
47:16calm down the real world's very
47:18different from school which you've
47:19already if you're watching my stuff you
47:20already kind of have an idea about that
47:21but I want to give you the more the
47:22behavioral definition around it is that
47:24with school you have very clear
47:25directions and a clear outcome with a
47:27clear timeline and you get a grade
47:28immediately so that's kind of like the
47:29roar or feedback loop right and
47:31sometimes it's Pop Quiz same day next
47:32day you get the the feedback loop or
47:34even you get you finish the quiz you go
47:36outside and you're like hey would you
47:37answer for six you're like a [ __ ] I got
47:38it wrong or whatever right but the thing
47:40is that the world is completely opposite
47:41of that and so the re the thing is is
47:42that beginners are paralyzed to make a
47:44decision because they assume the real
47:46world works like school and only has one
47:48right answer but reality is is that
47:51there are many right answers with only
47:53one wrong answer which is doing nothing
47:56and that's the answer that most people
47:57pick so I was talking to Neil Patel
47:58who's a friend of mine and he just made
48:00this uh this big tweet about this but he
48:01and I had a conversation about it
48:02earlier he has two friends one who's a
48:05public uh CEO found a company took it
48:08public he's got another friend who found
48:09a company took a public took it back
48:11private and then now only does Private
48:12deals the guy who does public and made
48:14all his money public is like you got to
48:16go public and the other guy who took his
48:19company public and it was a big mess and
48:20then took your private again is actually
48:22richer than the guy who made his company
48:23public both those guys are billionaires
48:26and both gave advice and they had differ
48:28advice and so I don't see it as one is
48:30right or wrong it's that there are many
48:32right paths but only one thing will
48:35prevent you from achieving all of it
48:37which is the only thing I'm trying to
48:38comper in this video is getting you to
48:40not do the one wrong path which is fear
48:43fear of not making it work fear of of
48:46other people's disapproval who don't
48:48matter anyways that you aren't cool
48:51anymore or because you don't show up to
48:53social events or because you don't blow
48:55money on stuff that doesn't matter
48:56anymore or you're not wearing the brands
48:58that they think are cool is all of that
49:01worth you for the rest of your life
49:03having the crushing feeling of
49:05mediocrity knowing you could do more and
49:08I say and I can describe this because
49:09I've lived it it's why I say it I'm not
49:12saying that that stuff's not going to
49:13happen it absolutely will happen it
49:15might even be worse than you imagine but
49:17you will not die and if you use the
49:20frame does me losing all of these
49:22relationships and having more time
49:25increase the likelihood that I get to my
49:26goal or decrease the likelihood they get
49:27to my
49:29goal all of a sudden when you use the
49:31goal frame of the best version of you
49:34all of a sudden it starts to it starts
49:36to make things a lot clearer it's like
49:38no me going to this bachelor art party
49:40does not increase the likelihood that to
49:42hit my
49:43goals and I'm not saying that you have
49:45to to make that sacrifice every time but
49:48the thing is is you're making a
49:49sacrifice either way you're either
49:50sacrificing your goals or you're
49:52sacrificing that relationship and so
49:54some of you guys are like oh Alex that's
49:56sounds unbalanced I'm going to get a
49:58couple you know comments from the
50:00[ __ ] online therapists of like I
50:02think emotional well-being and mental
50:03holness is super important well first
50:05off the pendulum swimming back no one
50:07gives a [ __ ] about the soft stuff
50:08anymore thank [ __ ] God but at some
50:10point everyone who wants to achieve
50:13great things realizes that balance is a
50:15myth and once they realize that they
50:17become someone who achieves great things
50:20at some point every person who wants to
50:23achieve great things realizes that
50:25balance is a myth
50:27and once they realize that they become
50:30someone who achieves great things and so
50:33there's this whole misnomer this whole
50:35idea think about what mediocrity is it's
50:37about being in the middle it's the
50:39medium it's being right in the middle
50:40right
50:42balance but anybody who is imbalanced is
50:45another way of saying more focused on
50:48the one thing will be better at that
50:50thing than you and the question is just
50:52whether or not that thing that they
50:53choose to be better at will give them
50:54more leverage over all that other stuff
50:56later
50:58and so if you work very hard and you
51:01create something that's very valuable
51:02for society I promise you you will be
51:04able to find a hotter wife I promise you
51:06you will have the money that you want I
51:08promise you you can buy the time that
51:10you want to have you'll have all of that
51:12at your disposal but if you choose the
51:15balanced life there's nothing wrong with
51:16that I just see that there is balance
51:18over a lifetime rather than Balan at
51:21every moment of life and so you might
51:23have seasons like I took basically a
51:25year off during the last year gym launch
51:28I just didn't really do a lot so I had
51:30more time than anybody and money right
51:33but I had Seasons before that where I
51:35didn't take any time off and so I think
51:36if you expand your time rizon for what
51:38balance really means that this is a
51:40softer way of explaining it uh then I
51:43think that that will you know make you
51:45sleep well at night but real talk I work
51:47all the time because I like to do it and
51:50I think that once you get a fast
51:51feedback loop with the work that you
51:52like that also propels your goals then
51:54you're not going to to do anything else
51:55and that's it's not not like I or some
51:57of the people that all right it's not
51:59like the people that you look up to have
52:01some sort of Herculean work ethic or
52:03discipline that you don't they like
52:05things that happen to also bring them
52:07status and that means that they went
52:09through a small period where they
52:11started doing that thing when they
52:12weren't good at it and it didn't bring
52:13them status but they were able to make
52:14it through that bridge until eventually
52:16did start working and did bring them
52:17status and then they just kept going so
52:20you just need enough Gusto to start and
52:23just get through that period to just get
52:25through your friends saying you suck for
52:26a little bit and everything you start
52:28will not be fun cuz you'll suck but
52:30getting good is fun getting better is
52:33fun and so I get excited a lot of times
52:35when I see how bad I am at something
52:37that's new because I have enough
52:38generalized reinforcement for learning
52:40how to get better at things that you
52:42learn the skill of getting better like
52:44that's a meta skill you learn how to
52:45learn and so just see it as an
52:47opportunity to learn how to do anything
52:48better so if you have a first thing then
52:50that's the first thing that you get
52:51better at and then you'll learn the
52:52skill of getting better and you can
52:53apply it all over the place some of you
52:54guys are listening to this and you're
52:55like okay you know this is great I'm
52:58feeling awesome the thing is is that
53:00people maybe it's you are waiting for
53:03this perfect moment but it doesn't come
53:05right it happens the moment you decide
53:08that you're fed up with waiting and
53:09decide to take action and it only
53:11becomes the perfect moment when you look
53:13back on it because today it just looks
53:15like now I had a conversation with a
53:17young man yesterday who said listen I
53:21have
53:22demons and I was like bro you don't have
53:26[ __ ] demons I was like shut up and he
53:29was like I like the thing is this and I
53:31I was so visceral with my reaction
53:33because I used to say that kind of stuff
53:35because I thought it made me hard I
53:36thought it made me complex I thought it
53:38made me mysterious but it's you don't
53:40have demons you're not self-sabotaging
53:42you don't have mom or dad issues what
53:45you have is a lack of skills in how to
53:48behave in a certain condition So when
53:51you say you have demons what it really
53:52means if I say okay what do you mean by
53:55that Define them that how do what is
53:57Define having demons right what I don't
54:00most people say that they don't mean
54:01they actually think they have spiritual
54:03Demons Inside of them I'm not even going
54:04to touch that what they really mean is
54:06that under these conditions I behave a
54:08way that is not ideal and so what that
54:10means is you have a skill efficiency no
54:13[ __ ] you're inexperienced of course you
54:15have a skilled deficiency you don't have
54:17demons you don't know how to be
54:19consistent you're not you don't have I I
54:21just can't stay with anybody for a long
54:23time no it either means you have really
54:24high standards which is fine and youd
54:26haven't met that person yet or you just
54:28don't know how to behave
54:29consistently it's like when I have a
54:31sales guy who's like hey you know I'm 30
54:33days into this world and I'm getting I'm
54:35getting kind of board taking sales calls
54:36I'm like oh your ability to not be able
54:39to continue after something gets boring
54:43and learn to love the incremental
54:45improvements the hundred or thousand
54:48repetitions is the skill discrepancy
54:51that you need to overcome the best sales
54:54people bad sales people try and have a
54:57couple good days good salese get on hot
55:01streaks great salese never get cold and
55:04so that takes discipline to understand
55:06how to consistently get yourself hot how
55:08to consistently treat every sale the
55:11same way you do when you're on fire
55:14because there is no being on fire it
55:16means you simply behave differently it's
55:18not like you have magic you you pause
55:21differently you take longer spaces you
55:23ask the question your tonality shifts
55:25and those are skills because you can
55:27learn them and so this whole thing of
55:31like this is this young man I'm
55:32traumatized first off you don't even a
55:34[ __ ] definition of trauma all right
55:36trauma is a permanent change in behavior
55:38from an aversive stimulus meaning
55:40something bad happens and forever it
55:43changes how you act now let's if we
55:46understand that as the definition of
55:47trauma is trauma bad well if I touch a
55:51stove and then I never touch a stove
55:52again when it's hot is that trauma bad
55:55it permanently changed my behavior from
55:56an aversive stimulus is that trauma bad
55:59well it prevented me from getting
56:01burning the house down from you know
56:02permanently damaging my hand in the
56:04future no I would say it was good and so
56:06this whole appraisal of your past being
56:09tough or you don't understand bro no and
56:12no one cares either they don't
56:13understand nor do they care and so all
56:15anyone is going to care about is how you
56:17act how you behave what you do based on
56:20a series of conditions and so you just
56:23need to expose yourself to the
56:25conditions so that you can get the
56:26repetition so that you can learn how to
56:28overcome it the thing that determines
56:29whether it's good or bad is whether it
56:31creates a behavior that's condusive to
56:32your goals and so that means that
56:34fundamentally you can have a stimulus
56:36like touching the stove that creates a
56:38behavior that is conducive to the goal
56:40in that way trauma was good so by the
56:43way parents when you punish a child the
56:46hope is that you traumatize them is that
56:47you permanently change their behavior
56:48from an aversive stimulus it's just that
56:51people don't Define words and they just
56:52shout them all over the place say say
56:53it's stored in your body it's energy
56:54it's like no one even knows what the
56:55[ __ ] that means means show me on
56:57someone's body where it's stored give me
56:59an x-ray show me where the no come on
57:02like you're saying you're you you're
57:03storing your emotional Trauma from your
57:06father and your
57:08liver like I can just say words and make
57:10things up and get people notd if I say
57:12them with conviction it doesn't make
57:13it's true and so you may have been
57:16fooled because sometimes it's more
57:18convenient to say you can cast your
57:20power onto this thing that happened that
57:22was outside of your control as the
57:23reason why you can't be successful
57:25because it's easier to say that than to
57:27say that I chose not to do anything
57:30about it
57:31anyways and again listen you can do
57:33whatever you want you can just keep
57:34wallowing in that you can keep saying
57:36that that's the reason and wherever you
57:37point is where your power is right but
57:39the only time that you have more power
57:41is if you say it's on you period because
57:43all of those things may have happened
57:45and they may have all been
57:46terrible and what are you going to do
57:48about it right because the only like no
57:51one cares like the world doesn't care
57:54you care which is fine but like no one
57:56else does and the sooner you realize
57:59that the sooner you can start doing
58:00something about it and so also think
58:03about this it's the equal opposite if
58:06trauma can create good things then it
58:09also means that good things can create
58:12bad behaviors and so if you win the
58:15lottery and then you have all these
58:16behaviors that happen afterwards that
58:17are negative then was it good for you
58:21like we talk about these rich and
58:22privileged kids because it creates
58:23behaviors that people that actually make
58:24it less likely they achieve things like
58:26later and so just think about what
58:29occurred and what behaviors you take as
58:31a result and separate good or bad from
58:33it and just think does it make it more
58:35likely that I hit my
58:36goals it makes life a lot easier and
58:40then it stops you from speaking in
58:42Voodoo and speaking and appealing to
58:44mysticism and Magic like there's this
58:47this Force around of demons it's like
58:50dude no like you had a girl who cheated
58:52on you okay now what does that change
58:55about your behavior I have trust issues
58:57no it just means that under these
58:59conditions you are slower to give
59:03someone access to your bank account or
59:06slower to move in with someone comma who
59:08cares and is that a bad thing and so
59:11I'll walk you through a three-step
59:12framework that has been unbelievably
59:14valuable to me and this is from Dr cashy
59:17logic evidence
59:20utility logic is what does that mean so
59:23you have demons okay what does that mean
59:26Define it in terms of behavior what does
59:28that mean okay got it now how do you
59:31know that evidence so you say I have
59:34demons we unpack that and it means that
59:37uh for you you self-sabotage which again
59:41Define that okay it means that I show up
59:44late to meetings after I get into a job
59:47after two months of being on time okay
59:50so after 2 months of be on time you
59:51start being late to stuff that we
59:54translated from I have demons to I
59:56self-sabotage to that is the behavior
59:59that occurs got it now I would say how
1:00:02do you know that now a lot of times
1:00:03people like well it's happened but when
1:00:05you actually look at it you're like it
1:00:06happened three times over in you know in
1:00:09my my last job okay is it really a a
1:00:13problem as you define it or it happened
1:00:15in those three occurrences okay got it
1:00:18so now you know now most times people
1:00:20like I don't have any data and you're
1:00:21like okay so then this is basically made
1:00:22up and when I say made up I'm not saying
1:00:24it's like you are a High I'm just saying
1:00:27that humans work in narratives and a lot
1:00:28of times we add narratives stories to
1:00:30things that don't actually mean
1:00:32anything but it's convenient and it's
1:00:34fun and we like talking about it but it
1:00:36doesn't mean it's true and so then you
1:00:38move to the third one which is and so
1:00:40what utility who cares why does this
1:00:42matter and so then you say okay well
1:00:45this matters because it decreases the
1:00:47likel that I will be able to retain
1:00:48future employment fine then what do we
1:00:51do about it and so you can walk through
1:00:54things that you have struggled with in
1:00:55the past with simply saying let me
1:00:57Define this in terms of behavior how
1:01:00what evidence do I have that this is
1:01:01actually true and that I've defined it
1:01:02based on these things and who
1:01:05cares I have demons in the kitchen all
1:01:07right just as a completely ridiculous
1:01:09example okay well in my past I I've had
1:01:13bad things happen bro like what like
1:01:16what occurred I touched the stove and it
1:01:18burns me okay great now we have
1:01:22something evidence-wise how many times
1:01:24it happen one time okay and it never
1:01:26happened again in the future okay what
1:01:28did that result in I don't go into
1:01:29kitchens anymore okay now this is good
1:01:32or bad when you say who cares it's in
1:01:35relation to what my goals does you not
1:01:38going into the kitchen prevent you from
1:01:40achieving your goals well if you want to
1:01:41be a chef yes if you want to be an
1:01:43entrepreneur no if you want to be a
1:01:45kitchen entrepreneur probably right and
1:01:47so the question is just who cares why
1:01:49does it matter and so so much of our
1:01:51time and effort goes into explaining
1:01:55things things to people that don't
1:01:57matter at all that you could literally
1:01:59just move on from and just literally
1:02:01forget about you could get over that
1:02:03quote trauma by changing the behavior
1:02:05that it changed aversively so in this
1:02:07context or in this condition I behave
1:02:09this way and it's not conducive to my
1:02:10goals great that's good that you've
1:02:12identified it cool so what do we need to
1:02:14do so that when you're in the condition
1:02:15how can we increase the likely that you
1:02:17do act the way that you want to and then
1:02:19you start stacking the deck to start
1:02:20Shifting the pendulum in your favor and
1:02:23you start attacking each of these little
1:02:25problems from skill that you have
1:02:26whether it's Behavior with people or
1:02:28it's skills at work or with a
1:02:29relationship and you just do it one by
1:02:31one by one and if you do it over a very
1:02:32long period of time you get better I
1:02:34promise you and I'm saying this to
1:02:35somebody who I struggled with my demons
1:02:38you don't understand bro like I have
1:02:40stuff like
1:02:42okay but it doesn't help you and it also
1:02:45doesn't make you look
1:02:48harder it just makes you less
1:02:51capable losers talk about what happened
1:02:53to them winners talk about what they
1:02:55made happen despite it hardship is a
1:02:59reality for losers to Winners hardship
1:03:03is just your origin story and like I
1:03:05promise you if you can use this Frame
1:03:07like I was texting LEL the other day
1:03:08like the bigger the monster the more
1:03:09epic the hero it's the story that you're
1:03:11going to someday tell when you're 85
1:03:13you're not going to want more boring
1:03:15stories right the idea is that if you're
1:03:18going through hard [ __ ] now that's the
1:03:19story that you're going to tell and if
1:03:20you believe yourself to be the hero that
1:03:22you want to someday become then the
1:03:24harder it is you're like bring it this
1:03:25is my my story this is the Spider-Man
1:03:27getting bid this is him getting beat up
1:03:29by the bullies this is the origin story
1:03:31no one cares about a hero who never had
1:03:33it hard I bought a lottery ticket years
1:03:35and years and years ago when I was in
1:03:38college because it was like a a billion
1:03:40or something like that back back then
1:03:41that was one a billion dollars meant
1:03:43something
1:03:45um but I was in college and the and my
1:03:48girlfriend at the time I was talking to
1:03:50her and the drawing was that night we
1:03:52bought him for fun we bought one tick I
1:03:53wasn't expecting to win but it was just
1:03:54a it basically I was buying her for the
1:03:56conversation and I thought about it as
1:03:58like the drawing got closer and I
1:03:59realized I had this big pain of anxiety
1:04:01cuz I was like What if I win and I had
1:04:04this moment of Terror because I realized
1:04:07that if I won that I would never be able
1:04:08to achieve anything that anyone thought
1:04:10was my
1:04:12own and that thought terrified me and
1:04:16thankfully I didn't win the billion
1:04:18dollars um and I got to make the life
1:04:20that I have and so I think that I think
1:04:22epic tetus says this but it's something
1:04:24to the degree of what a shame it would
1:04:26be for someone to never encounter
1:04:28hardship because they would never be
1:04:29able to see who they
1:04:31are and so I think that if you have gone
1:04:34through hardship or you are going
1:04:35through hardship this is the opportunity
1:04:38to prove to yourself not anyone else
1:04:41that you are who you say you are and you
1:04:43are made of what you say you are made of
1:04:45and you can
1:04:46choose to allow that hardship to make
1:04:50you harder to make you more resilient to
1:04:53make you more persistent to make you
1:04:54more Relentless to make think you more
1:04:56driven towards whatever you want to do
1:04:58or whoever you want to be or you can
1:05:01allow it to be an ankle weight you can
1:05:03allow it to be your trauma right that is
1:05:06your demon that you're fighting every
1:05:08day but the thing is is like everyone
1:05:11has demons everyone has hard [ __ ] and I
1:05:14want to tell you this frame that'll
1:05:16hopefully change someone's perspective
1:05:18which is that your hard stuff may have
1:05:21been harder than other people's hard
1:05:23stuff but if I take a human being who is
1:05:25never encountered anything and then I
1:05:27poke them with a needle that will be a
1:05:2910 out of 10 hardship for them and so I
1:05:32believe personally that humans
1:05:34experience pain the same way it's why
1:05:37when a man feels disrespected it hurts
1:05:40just as much as someone else going
1:05:43through another crazy hardship and you
1:05:45know what even if that guy's white a 10
1:05:48out of 10 Pain still feels like a 10 out
1:05:50of 10 pain now could that pain be less
1:05:53on the absolute scale of worst scenario
1:05:56yeah it could be but also who
1:06:00cares and so my point here is that every
1:06:03single human being on Earth has gone
1:06:04through their version of 10 out of 10
1:06:06pain which normalizes pain across the
1:06:08Spectrum which then leaves you with the
1:06:09only natural thing you have left which
1:06:11is what do I do now and if you wanted to
1:06:13design the perfect version of You The
1:06:15Savage competitor the Gladiator at the
1:06:17end of the life that has the scars and
1:06:19the scraggly beard but has been through
1:06:21[ __ ] and has done things and has and has
1:06:23realized their potential What would you
1:06:25do to maximize the likelihood that you
1:06:27become that Savage hero would you give
1:06:31them the padded lifestyle would you give
1:06:33them the immediate win would you give
1:06:35them the Easy Life probably not you
1:06:38would probably put you through what
1:06:40you're going through right now to become
1:06:43that person and so why would you resent
1:06:46the chapter you're in because it's a
1:06:48requirement for becoming who you say you
1:06:50want to be let's say you've gotten over
1:06:52your little demon thing and when I say
1:06:54gotten over you just stop giving it
1:06:55Power by saying it now is the reason
1:06:57that you can't be successful awesome so
1:07:00what do you do now right so you got to
1:07:02start figuring things out and that
1:07:03figured out muscle is probably the most
1:07:05powerful muscle you can build it's just
1:07:06saying oh I don't know how to do this I
1:07:07will figure it out why because I figured
1:07:09out things in the past and I can do it
1:07:10again and if that person can do it and
1:07:11they're no smarter than I am they have
1:07:12two hands in a brain I can do it too so
1:07:14the next time that you say you can't
1:07:16figure something out just set a timer
1:07:18for 20 hours and actually try for 20
1:07:20hours before you quit what you'll often
1:07:22realize is it's not hard you just
1:07:24haven't even tried yet if you you can
1:07:25shrink the time between saying you want
1:07:27to learn something and beginning to try
1:07:29the thing and extend the time before you
1:07:31say hey this is hard then you will be
1:07:34able to accomplish way more than you
1:07:35think you can learn most things in 20
1:07:37hours the problem is that most people
1:07:39delay the first 20 hours by years and if
1:07:41you really measured Yourself by the
1:07:43amount of action you take not your
1:07:44desire not your deservingness or even
1:07:47your effort you might actually be
1:07:49embarrass because what you're looking at
1:07:50is reality it's about what you do not
1:07:52what you say you're going to do how much
1:07:54you want the outcome from what you're
1:07:55doing how much you think you deserve the
1:07:57thing that's going to happen after you
1:07:59do it or how hard you try because one no
1:08:02one cares two reality doesn't care
1:08:03either because the only thing that
1:08:05matters that you can control is input
1:08:07and you would be absolutely astonished
1:08:09at what you can accomplish when you give
1:08:11yourself no choice every third time I do
1:08:13a Q&A I get asked the question what
1:08:15keeps you going when things were tough
1:08:17like what did you think about and I
1:08:20could come up with something that was
1:08:22really compelling but the honest truth
1:08:24is I just never considered quitting it
1:08:26was just not it was just not on my
1:08:28choice of options at the table because
1:08:30for me the idea of going back to
1:08:32Baltimore as a failure was so much worse
1:08:36than anything else that I could
1:08:38encounter that it just it just wasn't
1:08:40even a consideration and so the only
1:08:42natural option I had was to persist was
1:08:44to endure was to continue and so I think
1:08:47if you use that frame as there have been
1:08:50people who have gone through
1:08:51significantly worse than what I'm going
1:08:52through right now and for those of you
1:08:54who claim the demon card of like I've
1:08:55been through [ __ ] then prove it was it
1:08:57worse than this great then you can prove
1:09:00that it was so hard by being hard now
1:09:03across time frames in history across
1:09:06countries across cultures across age
1:09:08groups across race gender everyone
1:09:12respects the man who works because as
1:09:15men we are always judged by what we can
1:09:17do and if you are doing things then
1:09:20people know that you are contributing
1:09:22that is how you prove utility work ethic
1:09:24is the currency of respect
1:09:25if you want to earn respect you earn it
1:09:28through work and sometimes that's
1:09:29working on yourself that's sometimes
1:09:31working on a skill working on a product
1:09:32but it is all through work through
1:09:34effort I will tell you something that
1:09:35shifted my life which is that
1:09:36entrepreneurship is not a game of best
1:09:38man wins it's a game of Last Man
1:09:40Standing and there's a lot of games that
1:09:43are like this and fundamentally that's
1:09:44an infinite game frame versus a finite
1:09:47game frame and I will read you the quote
1:09:49that Lila had framed and put in my
1:09:51office ask the girl shoot the shot
1:09:54launch the business run the ad quit the
1:09:57job take the risk because when you're 85
1:09:59years old and on your deathbed you're
1:10:00not going to wish you had fewer crazy
1:10:02stories

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