A Powerful Technique To Seduce & Influence Anyone: Robert Greene — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00seduction is in high form of power if
2. 0:04you're more seductive in your approach
3. 0:06if you're more indirect
4. 0:08people will do what you want or go in
5. 0:10your direction without ever even
6. 0:11realizing it what makes for a great
7. 0:13Seducer is very simple I can summarize
8. 0:16it very simple
9. 0:18you mentioned seduction there The Art of
10. 0:20Seduction why did you write a book about
11. 0:22the topic of Seduction
12. 0:25seduction is in a high form of power
13. 0:29because you make people feel pleasure
14. 0:33you make them feel excited or interested
15. 0:36in you and then their their resistance
16. 0:39to your ideas slowly lowers and you have
17. 0:41the ability to influence them and to
18. 0:43move them in the direction that you want
19. 0:45if you yell at them like how we talk
20. 0:47about your child and you tell them do
21. 0:48this do that they resent it and for good
22. 0:51reason
23. 0:52but if you're subtler if you're more
24. 0:55seductive in your approach if you're
25. 0:56more indirect
26. 0:58people will do what you want or go in
27. 1:00your direction without ever even
28. 1:02realizing it so it was a sub theme in
29. 1:04the 48 Laws of Power and so I was sort
30. 1:07of interested in the psychology of that
31. 1:09and why some people are good at it and
32. 1:10some people are awkward about it so when
33. 1:13I finish the 48 Laws of Power I thought
34. 1:15this would be
35. 1:16a natural Segway the next book what are
36. 1:20the qualities of a great Seducer
37. 1:25well I'd like to distinguish between
38. 1:27cold seducers and warm seducers a cold
39. 1:30Seducer is something you don't want to
40. 1:32be that's the typical image that we
41. 1:34might have of a male Seducer but even of
42. 1:37a female Seducer like the great
43. 1:39courtesans and set up with her just
44. 1:40after money or the men are just after
45. 1:42sex
46. 1:44that's not my ideal my ideal
47. 1:47is kind of a back and forth quality
48. 1:51where it's not domination it's sort of
49. 1:54like a game that you're playing it's
50. 1:55like a mating game it's like a courtship
51. 1:57ritual where both part people are kind
52. 2:00of seducing each other and so what makes
53. 2:02for a great Seducer is very simple I can
54. 2:05summarize it very simply you are outer
55. 2:08directed
56. 2:09so when you meet somebody
57. 2:12for the first time or you're on a date
58. 2:14or whatever it is
59. 2:16you're not having that internal
60. 2:18monologue going does she like me or does
61. 2:21he like me might dress well am I saying
62. 2:24stupid things what can I do to impress
63. 2:26them no you turn it off and you're outer
64. 2:29directed and you're listening to them
65. 2:31and you're entering their spirit and
66. 2:33you're hearing them say things that that
67. 2:36give you idea of what they're missing in
68. 2:38life of what they want of what their
69. 2:41needs are of what makes them an
70. 2:42individual
71. 2:44you're absorbing it you're entering into
72. 2:46their spirit and then you can reflect it
73. 2:48back to them you can give them gifts you
74. 2:50can take them to places that show that
75. 2:53you're attentive to them
76. 2:54because if you look at how we are in our
77. 2:57day-to-day life
78. 2:59normally people never pay us attention
79. 3:02they're always so self-absorbed they're
80. 3:04never thinking about us they're you I've
81. 3:06been the times where you get the sense
82. 3:08that people are actually interested in
83. 3:10who you are as an individual is pretty
84. 3:13rare
85. 3:14if you give that feeling to someone it's
86. 3:16incredibly powerful because we all want
87. 3:18to be validated we all want to be
88. 3:20recognized
89. 3:21so the Seducer is not someone who's all
90. 3:25worried about him him or herself and
91. 3:27thinking they're involved in the other
92. 3:29person they're absorbed like a sponge
93. 3:31inside their psychology inside their
94. 3:33world
95. 3:35a lot of this is you know very
96. 3:36applicable to romance and dating
97. 3:39etc etc it feels for whatever reason I
98. 3:41you know not necessarily something I've
99. 3:43read much about in your work but it
100. 3:45feels like dating and romance and
101. 3:48relationships have become
102. 3:50much more complicated in the modern
103. 3:52world that it's become much more
104. 3:54difficult to seduce somebody
105. 3:57um what is the what are the attributes
106. 4:00of someone then that is not good at
107. 4:01seducing
108. 4:03anti-seducer has many qualities I have a
109. 4:06whole chapter on the anti-seducer I try
110. 4:08and Define it
111. 4:10uh there there are several of them I
112. 4:11can't I don't have them all memorized
113. 4:13but one quality that's very
114. 4:15anti-seductive is preaching and
115. 4:17moralizing
116. 4:19is like telling people oh that's wrong
117. 4:22what you just said or your politics are
118. 4:24ugly or you're not a really you're not
119. 4:26really good at this or something or
120. 4:27other
121. 4:28having a moral superiority a sense of
122. 4:31sanctimonious sanctimony in a realm
123. 4:34which should be about pleasure or should
124. 4:36be that kind of equality that kind of
125. 4:38dinette back and forth Dynamic where
126. 4:40you're asserting your moral superiority
127. 4:42is deeply deeply anti-seductive the
128. 4:45element of preaching to people
129. 4:47not being generous
130. 4:49and I mean not just with money money is
131. 4:52important
132. 4:53but not being generous with your spirit
133. 4:55right
134. 4:57you want to be open you want to give as
135. 4:59much as you can to the other person of
136. 5:01yourself of your time of your money of
137. 5:05your energy Etc
138. 5:06so being all kind of crimped and I don't
139. 5:09want to give I don't want to spend money
140. 5:11I want to take you to the cheap place to
141. 5:14eat I don't want to give you much time
142. 5:16it's very very anti-seductive when you
143. 5:19were talking a second ago about the
144. 5:21person who goes on the day and they're
145. 5:23thinking about themselves and what they
146. 5:24you know what their hair looks like or
147. 5:26whatever else
148. 5:28that spoke to an insecure person
149. 5:32is insecurity a seductive quality or is
150. 5:35it a
151. 5:37anti-seductive quality it is
152. 5:39anti-seductive now there is a part of
153. 5:42weakness that is seductive
154. 5:45so I would say vulnerability is
155. 5:47seductive but insecurity is
156. 5:49anti-seductive and there's a big
157. 5:51difference why does vulnerability draw
158. 5:53people to you
159. 5:54because
160. 5:55the sense so if I can Define seduction
161. 5:59in in in simple terms
162. 6:02um most of the time we are closed to the
163. 6:06influence of other people particularly
164. 6:07now we have these walls up because life
165. 6:11is Harsh people are coming at us with
166. 6:14their advertisements with their pleas
167. 6:15with their wanting money with this that
168. 6:17and the other and we've all learned to
169. 6:18be very defensive right and seduction is
170. 6:22an openness is the opposite of that and
171. 6:26you felt it when you were a child
172. 6:27towards your parents you felt very
173. 6:29vulnerable and open and and there was an
174. 6:31element of your parents and how they
175. 6:33treated you that was very much like a
176. 6:35seduction right so seduction is about
177. 6:38being open to the other person to the
178. 6:40extent where you can even fall in love
179. 6:42you can fall under their spell and the
180. 6:44sense of letting go of your ego letting
181. 6:47go of your defensiveness and letting
182. 6:49other another person enter your world is
183. 6:52being seduced it requires vulnerability
184. 6:56if you meet the typical
185. 6:59um scenarios of a man
186. 7:01who's not vulnerable at all he's so
187. 7:04powerful and in control and everything
188. 7:07has no vulnerabilities it's frightening
189. 7:10you know for a woman it could be very
190. 7:13frightening like this he's he's so
191. 7:15strong he's so invulnerable that there's
192. 7:18something wrong about it you know maybe
193. 7:20he's a serial killer maybe he's got
194. 7:21skeletons in his closet something isn't
195. 7:24right about that
196. 7:25what what seduces you about a puppy
197. 7:28about a child about an animal is their
198. 7:31vulnerability it makes you want to hug
199. 7:33them it makes you want to help them
200. 7:34right the sense which If You Came Upon A
201. 7:38a tiger that's there and that they don't
202. 7:40need that well that's not seductive I
203. 7:42mean on your screen it is but if they're
204. 7:44there in your living room that's not
205. 7:46seductive but that puppy is Right
206. 7:49vulnerability the sense that somebody
207. 7:52needs protection or help brings out
208. 7:55qualities in us that we don't normally
209. 7:57have that I think allow for seduction so
210. 8:00that is being vulnerable that is
211. 8:04I can be influenced by that other person
212. 8:06I am open to the to their Spirit right
213. 8:11that's being vulnerable the word
214. 8:13vulnerable I hate to sound like a
215. 8:15professor so excuse me in seduction it
216. 8:18comes from the wrong the root of it
217. 8:20means a wound vuleness so you have a
218. 8:23wound inside of you and you need healing
219. 8:26and the other person naturally wants to
220. 8:28help you right but being insecure is the
221. 8:32op means
222. 8:33I'm so self-absorbed I'm so worried
223. 8:35about myself
224. 8:37that I can't get out of it and we've all
225. 8:40had that experience when you meet
226. 8:42somebody and they and you can sense you
227. 8:44can smell their insecurity in them I'm
228. 8:46not judging them because we all have
229. 8:48insecurities
230. 8:49it makes you feel insecure it makes you
231. 8:52feel a little bit awkward whereas if you
232. 8:54meet someone who's not like that who's
233. 8:56confident Etc it brings out that quality
234. 8:59in you so if you're on a date and
235. 9:01there's someone who's you smell that
236. 9:03kind of insecurity it makes you awkward
237. 9:05and insecure it creates a kind of a
238. 9:07problem so that would be the difference
239. 9:09between the two
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