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9 Boring Habits That Will Put You Ahead of 99% of People — Transcript

by Sandeep Swadia · 2,697 words · 436 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00If you want to get your life together,
0:02you have to start with small boring
0:04habits to fix the loops that create 95%
0:08of our problems. I was once a homeless
0:11teenager, [music] trained as a monk,
0:13went to MIT, became a CEO, a board
0:16member, and none of that was about
0:18dreaming harder. So, forget motivation.
0:20[music]
0:21In this video, I'll walk you through
0:23nine micro habits backed by science
0:26>> [music]
0:26>> that protect the three most important
0:28things your life runs on. Your
0:30attention, your energy, and your
0:33happiness. Let's get into it. You have
0:36big, ambitious, exciting goals, so why
0:39are we talking about small boring little
0:41habits? A very dear friend of mine has
0:44climbed Mount Everest twice. Now, I
0:46haven't seen him lately, so knowing him,
0:49it may be three times by now. And I
0:51asked him what he remembered from his
0:54experience of the actual climb, and he
0:57simply said, "You know, when you're
0:59climbing Mount Everest,
1:01don't look up. If you look up, the
1:03mountain can break you. Because above
1:078,000 m, you enter what climbers call
1:11the death zone, where the oxygen
1:13pressure is too low for the body to
1:16survive. So, every step becomes
1:18expensive. Your lungs are fighting, your
1:21legs are burning, your brain does not
1:24have enough oxygen, so your judgment
1:26gets weaker." And his advice was once
1:29again brutally simple. "Keep your eyes
1:31down.
1:33Take a step.
1:34Then pause. Gather yourself. Then decide
1:39to take the next step. And what he was
1:41saying has a lot to do with how big
1:44goals feel to us and our brains. [music]
1:47You want to train for a marathon, you
1:49want to write a book, build a business,
1:51fix your finances. From far away, all
1:55these goals look daunting. And it's like
1:58climbing Mount [music] Everest. But what
2:01we have to do is to break those goals
2:03down into specific steps. And then take
2:07the first [music] step.
2:09And then pause and take the second step.
2:12This is where habits become so
2:13incredibly important because they can
2:15stop our brain from pretending that we
2:18can climb the entire mountain all at
2:20once. So the idea underneath [music]
2:23all these habits is to turn your
2:26ambition into a small set of actions.
2:29Now, you probably seen hundreds of habit
2:32videos on YouTube. And they're all great
2:34and they have great ideas. Like stack
2:37your habits or put the phone away in the
2:39next room when you're doing deep work.
2:41These are very useful ideas. But this
2:44video is not about focusing on those
2:46habits that you already know. Cuz you've
2:48heard them many times before. We want to
2:51focus on the fundamental [music]
2:52question. Which habits actually change
2:55the architecture of your life. Let's
2:58start with the three attention habits.
3:00Our first habit is correct [music] after
3:03the click. You know when we're flying,
3:05the pilot puts the airplane on autopilot
3:08mode once they reach the cruising
3:10altitude. And the plane is almost never
3:13exactly on course.
3:15>> [music]
3:15>> Wind pushes it or the path curves. And
3:18the autopilot is constantly making these
3:21small corrections. The plane doesn't fly
3:24in a straight [music] line.
3:26It flies in a series of recoveries.
3:29>> [music]
3:30>> But it still gets you where you need to
3:31go, right? And our attention is very
3:34similar to. Most of us try to catch the
3:37bad habit before it happens, right?
3:39[music] You tell yourself, "I will not
3:41pick up my phone during deep work." Or
3:44"I will not eat that ice cream." Which
3:46is my weakness, by the way. But then you
3:50do it anyway. Because well, clicking on
3:53that app has become a habit. Eating that
3:55ice cream has become [music] a habit. It
3:57is now a reflex. But the new habit is
4:01this, correct after the click. The
4:04moment you notice the reflex has fired
4:07after you have acted on it,
4:10attach a good habit. One useful action
4:14>> [music]
4:14>> immediately after. So, let's say you
4:16clicked on the app. But then instead of
4:18using that app, just get up and get a
4:20glass of water or [music] do deep
4:22breathing. That's the real window of
4:24opportunity. In a way,
4:26you're interrupting the interruption.
4:29Make sure your action is small and easy
4:31to do because the last thing you need is
4:34another mountain to climb when you've
4:36already slipped. So, that's our first
4:38habit. Let's move to the second
4:40attention habit, controlling [music]
4:42your input. A psychologist named Bluma
4:44Zeigarnik noticed something very
4:47strange. Waiters [music] in a cafe could
4:49remember a lot of complex
4:52>> [music]
4:53>> unpaid orders perfectly. But the moment
4:56the bill was settled, the order [music]
4:58vanished from their memory. She tested
5:01it and found the same pattern in other
5:04professions, too. If something [music]
5:06is unfinished, your brain keeps reaching
5:09for it. Every email you opened but
5:11didn't reply to, every meeting that
5:14ended without a clear next step, they
5:16stay open in your brain [music] in the
5:18background. Like an app on your phone
5:21you forgot to close and is draining
5:23resources. So, the habit of controlling
5:25the input has two steps. First, [music]
5:28do your process in batches. When I was a
5:31CEO, I had two or three fixed windows a
5:34day, [music] 9:00 a.m., 1:00 p.m., 4:30
5:38maybe, and that's when I checked emails
5:40and Slack. If something was truly
5:43urgent, my team knew how to find me. But
5:46outside of those batches,
5:48I gave myself my time. And second, when
5:52you're going through your batch of
5:53items,
5:53>> [music]
5:53>> touch each item once, and only once. And
5:57this is a little difficult, and I have
6:00[music]
6:01a decision framework that I call 4D
6:03framework, and it has four options: do
6:06it,
6:07or delegate it, or date it, or delete
6:10it. So, for example, let's say you open
6:12an email. Now, you have four options:
6:14>> [music]
6:15>> finish responding it, or forward it to
6:17someone in your team, or snooze it,
6:20or get rid of it. Otherwise, that thing
6:23will linger on and on forever.
6:25Controlling these inputs gives your
6:27brain [music] permission to put things
6:29down, to finish it. And by the way, if
6:31you like to read more about such ideas,
6:34I write a short newsletter once a week.
6:36One useful idea, one tool,
6:39>> [music]
6:39>> and one practice. You can subscribe
6:41below. I love writing them,
6:44and it's free.
6:46The third attention habit is perhaps the
6:48most boring one: write to think. Jeff
6:52Bezos built one of the strongest [music]
6:55and strangest meeting cultures in
6:57corporate America. At Amazon, senior
7:00meetings often did not start with
7:03someone presenting a deck.
7:05They began in silence, [music]
7:07because the executives would sit in the
7:09meeting room and read a written memo for
7:12about 15 minutes. Why do that? Because
7:15Bezos believed that PowerPoint can hide
7:18sloppy thinking, but a written paragraph
7:20>> [music]
7:21>> has to connect one thought to the next
7:23one. Writing a narrative creates more
7:27boring [music] work, but it also creates
7:30more clarity. And it doesn't matter what
7:32you write, if it's journaling or
7:34gratitude diary or a business proposal,
7:37writing things down by hand is the best
7:40way to clarify your thinking.
7:42And there is a difference between
7:44writing and typing. Researchers from
7:47Princeton and UCLA found that students
7:50who wrote notes by hand performed better
7:54on conceptual questions than students
7:56who typed [music] on laptops. Writing
7:58isn't just about recording what you
8:00think. It helps you find out what you're
8:02thinking. [music] So, here's the small
8:04habit. Before a hard conversation,
8:07before a big decision, before anything
8:10that feels foggy,
8:12>> [music]
8:12>> try writing it down. Write three things.
8:15What do I know?
8:16What am I assuming?
8:18What is the next honest action? In most
8:20cases, the fog will lift. You don't need
8:23to fill the page.
8:25>> [music]
8:25>> You just have to empty your mind.
8:27So, those are the three attention
8:29habits. Now, let's go to our first
8:32energy [music] habit. It is the smallest
8:34and the most dangerous one. Energy
8:37doesn't always flow smoothly like a
8:40continuous stream. In 1900, a physicist
8:43named Max Planck discovered that energy
8:46moves in these tiny [music] discrete
8:49packets. He called that packet a
8:51quantum. It was so radical an idea that
8:54even [music] Planck himself didn't
8:55believe the mathematics behind it. But,
8:57that idea became one of the foundations
8:59[music]
9:00of quantum mechanics. In fact, years
9:02later, the world learned the terrifying
9:05version of the same idea. In 1945, the
9:08Manhattan Project did [music] something
9:10that changed the world forever. They
9:13took the smallest thing in the nature,
9:14[music] the atom, and split it. And the
9:17energy released from that single act
9:20destroyed two cities. Oppenheimer, the
9:23man [music] who led that project,
9:25watched the first test and quoted from
9:28the Indian scripture, [music]
9:29Bhagavad Gita,
9:31>> Now I am become death,
9:33the destroyer of worlds.
9:35>> The smallest unit in the nature holds
9:38the most power. That's why that is our
9:41first energy habit, quantize the action.
9:44Break your habit into small [music]
9:45packets because the hardest part of any
9:48habit is starting it. If you want to
9:50write a book, writing the first line is
9:53the hardest. If you want to clean up
9:54your kitchen, picking up the first dish
9:56is the hardest. So, here's the action
9:58item. It's pretty simple. Quantize your
10:00habit, writing one line, doing half a
10:03push-up, walking for 1 minute. It's all
10:06about reducing the force required to
10:09start. Now, let's go to the second
10:11energy habit, something that even I
10:13don't like doing, but it must be done.
10:16There was a study done in 2013 that
10:19tested the effect of caffeine at three
10:21different times before bed.
10:23>> [music]
10:23>> Right before sleep,
10:253 hours before, and 6 hours [music]
10:28before. And they found that caffeine
10:30that was taken even 6 hours before
10:33significantly disrupted your sleep.
10:35Because caffeine has a half-life of
10:38about 5 or 6 hours. That means if you
10:41drink a cup of coffee at 4:00 p.m., half
10:44of that caffeine is still circulating in
10:46your system at 9:00 p.m. And who knows,
10:48a quarter of it might still be there
10:50after [music] midnight. So, you feel
10:52like you slept well, but you're not
10:54getting the deep [music] rest that you
10:56needed. And then you wake up tired and
10:58groggy, and what's the solution? You
11:01reach for another cup of coffee, and the
11:03cycle feeds itself. So, one habit I
11:05started [music] recently is to cut
11:07caffeine at least 6 hours before bedtime
11:10because the most productive thing you
11:12can do for your career, your clarity,
11:16any relationships, is [music] to protect
11:18your sleep. I love coffee, but the
11:21coffee that can save your afternoon can
11:24also sabotage your next morning. So, the
11:26small habit is to have [music] a clear
11:29cut-off time for your caffeine. And the
11:31third energy habit is about riding the
11:33waves. Your afternoon crash is not a
11:36failure. It's a signal. Your brain is
11:39not [music] a machine. A scientist named
11:41Nathaniel Kleitman was a father of
11:44modern sleep research, [music] and he
11:46discovered that your brain doesn't just
11:48cycle at night. It moves in cycles even
11:51during the daytime. Kleitman found that
11:53most of us have an 80 [music] to 120
11:56minutes wave of high and low alertness.
11:59>> [music]
12:00>> He called them ultradian cycles. Peak
12:02focus, then a dip. Peak, then a dip. All
12:06day long. That's how the brain is built.
12:09Now, the problem is our modern work
12:10habits refuse to accept that idea. Our
12:13work days are still built to reflect the
12:16factory era. Go to the office, produce 8
12:19to 10 hours of output non-stop, push
12:22through the dip, [music] drink coffee,
12:23push again, and then when our brain
12:25collapses at 3:30 in the afternoon, we
12:28think, "Oh my god, I lack focus. I lack
12:31discipline." [music]
12:32But, it's neither. It's just that our
12:34brain works in waves. [music]
12:36Every wave of effort needs a trough of
12:39recovery. And here's the part most
12:41people get wrong. They take a break,
12:43[music] but then they fill it with more
12:45input and stimulation. A real break has
12:48to [music] be
12:49a real break. Stand up and walk for 10
12:52minutes. If you meditate, go ahead and
12:55do that. If you want to [music] do deep
12:56breathing, go ahead and do that. So,
12:58here's the action item for the habit.
13:01Pick a focus block,
13:02>> [music]
13:02>> maybe 60 minutes, maybe 90. Then, pick a
13:06real recovery block. [music] 10 minutes,
13:0920 minutes with no feed, no inbox, no
13:12new input. [music]
13:13Just recover.
13:15Then, write the next wave. And now onto
13:18the happiness habits.
13:19>> [music]
13:20>> You know, when life gets heavy, I have
13:22this small habit that seems completely
13:24useless.
13:26I go outside at night
13:28and I look up.
13:29That's my favorite tiny habit because
13:32your story and mine [music] is the story
13:35of the universe and it is a story 13.8
13:39[music] billion years in the making.
13:41When you look up, you see billions of
13:43galaxies each beaming with billions of
13:46stars. Any [music] one of them could
13:49hold planets like ours and here's the
13:51strangest part. The sky that you're
13:54looking at is not a live telecast. Light
13:58takes time to travel.
14:00Some of the stars you'll see tonight
14:02sent their light hundreds or even
14:04thousands [music] of years ago. Some of
14:06them may have already died and we won't
14:09[music] know for centuries. We're
14:11looking at a memory from the past. The
14:14stars above us are ghosts. Now, whether
14:17you believe in a religious explanation
14:20or a scientific one,
14:22>> [music]
14:22>> the mystery, the miracle,
14:25and the magic of our existence in this
14:28universe is undeniable. So, the first
14:31habit
14:32>> [music]
14:32>> is to look up. And then comes the second
14:35move. Look at yourself in [music] the
14:37mirror and I mean really look. The same
14:41atoms that made those stars above made
14:44you and me.
14:45We [music] are the same stardust.
14:48There is no one like you on this planet.
14:52Your DNA, your exact [music] memories,
14:55your scars, your voice, your childhood,
14:59your [music] private fears, there's only
15:01one version of you. By the time I
15:04finished speaking [music] this sentence,
15:06roughly 30 million cells in your body
15:09[music]
15:10may have been replaced. I took roughly 8
15:13seconds to say that. So, the math will
15:15[music] work out, but it's fascinating
15:18that you're changing every second and
15:20yet [music] you feel exactly the same.
15:23Okay, so you're going to say, "Fine.
15:25>> [music]
15:25>> What does this have to do with small
15:28habits and happiness?" Well,
15:30>> [music]
15:31>> we just covered two important happiness
15:33habits. Because when you look up, you're
15:36reminded [music] that you're surrounded
15:38by millions of miracles. And when you
15:41look [music] down, you're reminded that
15:43you're one of those miracles. Those two
15:46habits [music] lead to awe and
15:48gratitude. Which then leads to the ninth
15:52and the final habit. [music]
15:54The habit of forgiving yourself when all
15:57your habits break. Because they will
16:00break. Your [music] systems will break
16:02and your dreams will shatter.
16:05All of that is inevitable. But don't get
16:08trapped in any spiral [music]
16:10of shame. All of us have days and weeks
16:13where nothing is going our way, right?
16:15[music]
16:16And
16:17when every day is a firefight, none of
16:20these small habits will survive. [music]
16:23But that's okay.
16:25That is the point. You don't have to be
16:28your best self [music] on your worst
16:29day. That kind of self-prosecution
16:32is way more exhausting than missing a
16:35habit.
16:36>> [music]
16:37>> And that's why our last small habit
16:40is self-forgiveness. The three small
16:43habits, awe, gratitude, [music] and
16:46self-forgiveness,
16:48are not about pretending that your
16:50problems are small. [music]
16:53It is reminding
16:55that your life is [music] large.
16:58The best habits don't keep you from
17:01getting lost.
17:03They help you
17:04>> [music]
17:04>> find your way home.
17:06Thank you.
17:07And I love you.

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