7 Tips for Living with Roommates | How to Live with Roommates — Transcript

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1. 0:00[Music]
2. 0:03hey everyone welcome back to my channel
3. 0:05my name is Paige and if you've never
4. 0:07been here before I make all different
5. 0:08types of videos I try to do a lot of
6. 0:10self-help videos or videos on how to
7. 0:12improve yourself or be a more productive
8. 0:13person so if you like that kind of
9. 0:15content please subscribe and like this
10. 0:17video today we're gonna be talking about
11. 0:18how to be a better roommate so what can
12. 0:21you do to be the best roommate you can
13. 0:23be to have the best experience living
14. 0:24with roommates so without further ado
15. 0:26let's just get right into it
16. 0:27so I have seven tips for you on what you
17. 0:30can do to be the best roommate you
18. 0:31possibly can be we're gonna start with
19. 0:32number one which is to go in with the
20. 0:34right expectation so before you move in
21. 0:36with your roommates or before you pick
22. 0:38your roommates you need to think about
23. 0:40what type of expectations you already
24. 0:42have in your head do you expect that
25. 0:43when you live with this person you're
26. 0:44gonna be best friends or are you just
27. 0:46gonna be acquaintances who just deal
28. 0:48with each other and live in the same
29. 0:49place how was it like for you when you
30. 0:51lived at home with your family what type
31. 0:53of dynamics did you deal with living
32. 0:55with your family did you have siblings
33. 0:57growing up and how did that affect how
34. 0:58you dealt with your siblings were you
35. 1:00guys good friends did you not really
36. 1:02talk that much everyone has different
37. 1:03experiences growing up and that really
38. 1:05affects how they treat their roommates
39. 1:07once they're in a situation where they
40. 1:08live with new people who may not be
41. 1:10family or friends do you expect them to
42. 1:12be clean do you think that they're gonna
43. 1:14be always cleaning up after themselves
44. 1:15you guys are gonna share the common area
45. 1:17and keep it spotless all the time and
46. 1:19lastly do you expect them to know what
47. 1:21you're thinking do you think that
48. 1:23they're always gonna know exactly what's
49. 1:24going through your head every time
50. 1:26you're upset do you think they're gonna
51. 1:27know why you're upset
52. 1:28and how to fix it do they know exactly
53. 1:30how you react to problems no they don't
54. 1:33know any of these things so these are
55. 1:35just questions to get you started
56. 1:36thinking about your expectations of
57. 1:37living with other people and to think
58. 1:39about how you can change your
59. 1:40expectations to have a better experience
60. 1:42the second thing I'm going to talk about
61. 1:44is have a list of non-negotiables so you
62. 1:46need to go ahead get a piece of paper
63. 1:48sit down and just spray out a list of
64. 1:51things that you could not deal with if
65. 1:52you had to live with roommates
66. 1:53what are those items that if you had to
67. 1:55deal with them you would just literally
68. 1:57go crazy for me one of those things is
69. 1:59someone who constantly wants to throw
70. 2:01parties or have people over late at
71. 2:03night I'm a big homebody and I don't
72. 2:05really like there to be constant guests
73. 2:07in my place I much rather it be
74. 2:10my roommate and we just spent our time
75. 2:11here the only time we usually have
76. 2:13friends over is if we're hanging out
77. 2:14with them together so some of your
78. 2:16non-negotiables might be about cleaning
79. 2:18do you want to always have a clean
80. 2:19common area do you expect to have quiet
81. 2:21time do you need complete quiet to go to
82. 2:24sleep do you want your roommate to be
83. 2:26sleeping at the same time as you or at
84. 2:27least quiet while you're trying to sleep
85. 2:29what are those expectations you have and
86. 2:31then put those into non-negotiables I do
87. 2:34not like there to be loud noise when I'm
88. 2:36trying to sleep and I don't like there
89. 2:37to be loud noise when I'm sleeping in
90. 2:38the morning either
91. 2:39so in general me and my roommate have
92. 2:42kind of an unspoken rule that after
93. 2:44around 10:00 p.m. and before 7:00 a.m.
94. 2:46we try to not be too too loud we don't
95. 2:48like to blast music or go banging around
96. 2:51the apartment in general we're usually
97. 2:53very considerate of each other but the
98. 2:55thing is a lot of people don't have that
99. 2:57consideration built into their habits
100. 2:59when they grew up as a family maybe
101. 3:01everyone already had the same schedule
102. 3:02so they never had to worry about being
103. 3:04quiet during different times of the day
104. 3:06so it's something you need to think
105. 3:07about and decide can I deal with this or
106. 3:09not and if you can't write it on that
107. 3:11list so the third thing I'm going to
108. 3:12talk about is to always communicate now
109. 3:15this might be really obvious obviously
110. 3:17we need to communicate we need to tell
111. 3:18each other what's going on etc etc but
112. 3:20going back to points 1 & 2 what are your
113. 3:23expectations and what are your
114. 3:24non-negotiables now that you know those
115. 3:26you need to communicate them with these
116. 3:27people people you're thinking about
117. 3:29living with or even people you already
118. 3:31live with tell your roommates your
119. 3:33non-negotiables get feedback from them
120. 3:35if those are even possible things that
121. 3:36they're able to do find out what their
122. 3:38non-negotiables are a lot of times
123. 3:40people live with someone else and they
124. 3:42never talk about these things and then
125. 3:44once they're living together they
126. 3:45constantly have these battles in these
127. 3:47problems because no one ever set the
128. 3:50expectation for the other that hey
129. 3:52you're gonna keep the common area clean
130. 3:54or hey you're gonna go to bed or stay
131. 3:57quiet after 9 p.m. if no one says those
132. 4:00things it's almost invalid for you to be
133. 4:02aggravated whenever they don't do those
134. 4:04things so setting up that communication
135. 4:06and those guidelines beforehand will
136. 4:08really help you out in the long run
137. 4:09another important thing about
138. 4:10communication is don't text just talk
139. 4:13don't text your roommate and say hey
140. 4:15please clean up after yourself next time
141. 4:17see her in person just let her know if
142. 4:19anything the best advice I can give for
143. 4:20a situation like that is to just clean
144. 4:23up for her and then let her know hey by
145. 4:25the way you left her dishes and I went
146. 4:27ahead and clean them up for you because
147. 4:29I know you're going through a lot right
148. 4:30now or I know you have an exam tomorrow
149. 4:32or a big proposal do it work so I
150. 4:34handled that for you but next time let's
151. 4:36try to keep this area clean you want to
152. 4:38show them that you care and you're
153. 4:40willing to help out at times but that
154. 4:41they shouldn't expect you to always
155. 4:42clean up after them because you don't
156. 4:44want to get into that cycle lastly with
157. 4:45communication do not be
158. 4:47passive-aggressive and I know this can
159. 4:49be really hard for some people me
160. 4:50included I've had time so I've just been
161. 4:52passive-aggressive but it's not a
162. 4:54healthy way to communicate with people
163. 4:56that you live with people that you're
164. 4:57friends with people you care about
165. 4:58anyone in general you should never be
166. 5:00passive-aggressive to someone else so if
167. 5:02you have something that you're bothered
168. 5:03by just tell them what's going on don't
169. 5:06just be passive aggressive and assume
170. 5:07that they're gonna read your mind and
171. 5:09figure it out because guess what they're
172. 5:10not they're just they're not even your
173. 5:12best friends won't always be able to
174. 5:14figure out what's going on and why
175. 5:15you're upset they might think that it's
176. 5:17something completely unrelated to them
177. 5:19so always just communicate and tell them
178. 5:21what you're feeling so tip number four
179. 5:23is know when to say something so I said
180. 5:25that you need to tell your roommates
181. 5:26when you're upset or something bothers
182. 5:28you but do you always tell them because
183. 5:30sometimes that might be a little
184. 5:31excessive if you find that you're gonna
185. 5:33be telling your roommate every single
186. 5:35day that she's doing something wrong
187. 5:36then you probably should keep some of
188. 5:38those things to yourself I understand
189. 5:40that sometimes we just have bad
190. 5:41roommates who never listen but in
191. 5:43general the more you tell them to do
192. 5:45something the more agitated they're
193. 5:47gonna be by you and they're not gonna
194. 5:48want to change that thing about
195. 5:49themselves you don't want to be their
196. 5:51parent you want to be their roommate so
197. 5:53some of the things that I think about
198. 5:54when I'm deciding whether or not it's
199. 5:56worth it for me to tell someone what's
200. 5:58going on whether in a roommate situation
201. 6:00or just in general in our friendship I
202. 6:02think about these few things is this
203. 6:04something that's gonna in the future
204. 6:05affect how I treat this person in a week
205. 6:07from now am I still gonna treat them
206. 6:09differently because I'm bothered about
207. 6:11what happened last week because if the
208. 6:12answer is yes then you really should
209. 6:14talk to them don't hold things in and
210. 6:16let it affect later conversations
211. 6:18because it's not productive and it's
212. 6:19just gonna cause drama where it does not
213. 6:21need to be the next
214. 6:22ask is how close are you with that
215. 6:23person is it someone you really care
216. 6:25about is it one of your close friends
217. 6:27because if it is then most likely you
218. 6:29need to talk to them about the problem
219. 6:30even if it's not that big of a deal if
220. 6:32it's something that upset you it's
221. 6:33always good to tell your friends about
222. 6:35it because with someone that you don't
223. 6:36know very well it might not bother you
224. 6:38and come up in a couple weeks but with
225. 6:40someone who you really care about it
226. 6:41might come up five months later for all
227. 6:43you know and if you never talked about
228. 6:45it they're not gonna know to not do it
229. 6:47again the next question I ask myself is
230. 6:49how upset am I a lot of times I like to
231. 6:51sleep on a problem to just make sure
232. 6:52that I'm not extra emotional that day or
233. 6:55overreacting because of other things
234. 6:57that happen throughout my day because a
235. 6:58lot of times when we're upset about
236. 6:59something it usually stems from
237. 7:01potentially something else we had a bad
238. 7:03day at school we had a bad day at work
239. 7:05we overslept all of these things happen
240. 7:07during your day and when you get home
241. 7:09and for example your roommate left a
242. 7:10mess on the couch and you just wanted to
243. 7:12sit down and watch TV you might just be
244. 7:14extremely frustrated with that person so
245. 7:16in general how upset are you do you
246. 7:18think it's worth talking about and
247. 7:20lastly have you discussed this topic
248. 7:22with them before
249. 7:23is this a reoccurring problem that just
250. 7:25seems to keep coming up no matter what
251. 7:27you say or is it a new problem that
252. 7:29you've never experienced before if it's
253. 7:30something that continues to happen and
254. 7:32you keep telling them how to fix it in
255. 7:33the same way then maybe you need to
256. 7:35rethink your process is there a way that
257. 7:37you can redirect them to do it a
258. 7:39different way for example if you have a
259. 7:41roommate who always forgets to take out
260. 7:43the trash she always forgets it's her
261. 7:45turn to take out the trash even though
262. 7:46you guys have something set where you
263. 7:48know you take turns taking out the trash
264. 7:49but she just always seems to forget what
265. 7:52might be helpful is to put something on
266. 7:53the fridge that says whose turn it is to
267. 7:55take out the trash
268. 7:56next time the trash is full she might
269. 7:58just look at the list and go oh it's my
270. 8:00turn
271. 8:00oops I forgot but if there's no list for
272. 8:02her to look at it might just be in the
273. 8:04back of her brain okay the trash is full
274. 8:06but whatever I don't know whose turn it
275. 8:08is so I'll figure it out later
276. 8:10and that might become a day later two
277. 8:11days later and now you're on the other
278. 8:13side fresher into thinking hello it's
279. 8:14your turn to take out the trash just
280. 8:16think about whether it's something
281. 8:17you've already discussed and how to go
282. 8:18about bringing up the topic so the fifth
283. 8:20tip I have for you is common spaces
284. 8:22should be
285. 8:23these spaces in general when you're
286. 8:25living with roommates you're most likely
287. 8:26sharing a lot of common areas you're
288. 8:28sharing your kitchen your living room
289. 8:30potentially your bathroom some shared
290. 8:32closets your laundry room a lot of
291. 8:35things get shared when you live with
292. 8:36other people and I think it's a good
293. 8:38practice to say that your common spaces
294. 8:40should be happy spaces when you come
295. 8:42home if you're in a bad mood try to at
296. 8:44least keep things upbeat and happy when
297. 8:46you come in and greet your roommate
298. 8:48because if your roommates in the kitchen
299. 8:49cooking dinner you don't need to come in
300. 8:50in a terrible mood and just sour
301. 8:52everyone else's mood because you had a
302. 8:54bad day I know it's hard to do that
303. 8:55sometimes but I think it's good practice
304. 8:57to learn to manage our emotions and not
305. 8:59just explode with emotion as soon as we
306. 9:01start talking to someone so along with
307. 9:02that idea a happy space is a clean space
308. 9:05at least in my opinion and I would think
309. 9:07in most people's opinions so keep that
310. 9:08shared area clean when you're done using
311. 9:10the living room clean your stuff up
312. 9:12after bring it back to your room when
313. 9:14you're done using the kitchen put your
314. 9:15stuff away and don't leave things out on
315. 9:17the counter make sure that there's space
316. 9:19for everyone to use anytime they need to
317. 9:21it shouldn't be that you're taking up
318. 9:22half of the living room at all times
319. 9:24with your shoes on the floor and your
320. 9:26backpack on the couch leave it the way
321. 9:27that you would hope to find it the next
322. 9:29day that's a good rule of thumb the
323. 9:31number six tip I have for you is to
324. 9:32don't beat yourself up if it's not
325. 9:34working I know that roommates can be
326. 9:36difficult and sometimes it's really hard
327. 9:38to live with someone else especially if
328. 9:39it's someone you don't mesh with or
329. 9:41someone that you just really don't get
330. 9:42along with if it's one of your good
331. 9:44friends and then you move in together
332. 9:45and you realize that you're having all
333. 9:47of these problems some people are just
334. 9:48better as friends and not roommates so
335. 9:50don't take it personally and beat
336. 9:51yourself up if it just seems to not be
337. 9:53working and then there's some people
338. 9:55like me who just aren't good at living
339. 9:57with other people in general although
340. 9:59I've had six different roommates so far
341. 10:01I in general know that I enjoy living by
342. 10:03myself more I've lived by myself for a
343. 10:05couple months here and there and I know
344. 10:07it's my favorite way to live I'm a very
345. 10:09particular person and I'm aware of that
346. 10:10so it causes a lot of problems when I
347. 10:12live with roommates and something I'm
348. 10:14working on all the time and talking to
349. 10:16my different roommates about my
350. 10:16expectations and my non-negotiables has
351. 10:18definitely helped in the past but if
352. 10:20you're someone who just would rather
353. 10:21live alone don't beat yourself up I know
354. 10:24it's hard to live with roommates and
355. 10:25sometimes finances make it necessary to
356. 10:28live with other people we can't always
357. 10:29afford to live alone in a one better
358. 10:31apartment or a studio but if that's the
359. 10:33case just don't worry about it because
360. 10:34someday hopefully you'll be able to live
361. 10:36alone and just make that one of your
362. 10:38goals for the future
363. 10:39and the last tip I have for you is
364. 10:41number seven it's not forever so if
365. 10:43you're having a really hard time living
366. 10:44with your roommates it's only one year
367. 10:47you can pick different roommates for
368. 10:48next year you can pick less or more
369. 10:50roommates you can change the apartment
370. 10:52you live in just remember that before
371. 10:54you resign the lease really think about
372. 10:55if you have a good idea of whether you
373. 10:58could live with these people again
374. 10:59sometimes we're required to sign leases
375. 11:01way in advance to when we live in that
376. 11:04apartment so if you have to do that just
377. 11:05make sure you really think through
378. 11:07whether or not this is a good person
379. 11:08that matches you as a roommate and you
380. 11:10want to live with them again overall
381. 11:12it's a good learning experience even if
382. 11:14it doesn't work out I've had many many
383. 11:16roommate horror stories that I don't
384. 11:18need to get into but overall I know that
385. 11:20it's taught me a lot about myself and
386. 11:22what I want in roommates or want in a
387. 11:24potential partner or friendship and it's
388. 11:26really helped me mature and grow up in
389. 11:27general dealing with different people
390. 11:29throughout your life is inevitable and
391. 11:30learning to deal with different types of
392. 11:32personalities is a really great trait to
393. 11:34have so don't worry
394. 11:35it'll work out and everything's gonna be
395. 11:37okay well that's all I have for you
396. 11:39thank you so much for watching I'm
397. 11:40really curious to see what your
398. 11:42non-negotiables are so leave a comment
399. 11:43down below listing your number one
400. 11:45non-negotiable that you could not deal
401. 11:47with if you had to live with roommates
402. 11:48or if you already do and if you have any
403. 11:50questions for me about living with
404. 11:51roommates or anything else for that
405. 11:53matter also leave it down below I love
406. 11:55answering your questions and I hope to
407. 11:57hear from you soon bye
408. 12:04you
409. 12:04[Music]