5 things I do after work that don't involve my phone (summer edition) — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00For the longest time, I thought the
2. 0:02reasons why I couldn't get up in the
3. 0:04morning very easily, get excited for my
4. 0:07day is because I didn't enjoy my work
5. 0:10enough. And actually, what I was
6. 0:12realizing is I didn't involve enough in
7. 0:15my day that was directly connected to
8. 0:19some of my top values.
9. 0:22[music]
10. 0:28>> [music]
11. 0:30>> Hello, hello, and welcome back to
12. 0:32another episode of The 20's Detox. I'm
13. 0:35Bianca, your host, where we dive into
14. 0:37all the things that I'm learning and
15. 0:39unlearning in my 20s to elevate this
16. 0:41decade. If you're listening on Spotify,
17. 0:44Apple, or any other podcast streaming
18. 0:46platforms, just make sure to follow
19. 0:48along and rate the podcast if you've
20. 0:50been enjoying it for some time now. But
21. 0:52if you're on YouTube, make sure to
22. 0:54subscribe. I do post an episode every
23. 0:56single Tuesday relating to seasonal
24. 0:58guidance and advice for living in your
25. 1:0020s. Last but not least, if at any point
26. 1:04something really resonates in this
27. 1:05episode, please make sure to send it
28. 1:07over to a friend. It's honestly so
29. 1:10amazing to see all of your comments and
30. 1:12where you're listening from, what you've
31. 1:15been enjoying, what you got from the
32. 1:17episodes, what resonated with you. It
33. 1:19just goes to show that so many of us are
34. 1:22not alone in any of our struggles,
35. 1:24especially when we're in young adulthood
36. 1:26and in our 20s. We're technically
37. 1:28halfway through summer. I celebrate
38. 1:31summer in the fiscal terms and the
39. 1:34seasonal terms. I know that some people
40. 1:37are going back to school now. In Canada,
41. 1:40we don't really start school until
42. 1:41September. I always found even when I
43. 1:44was going to university at this time, it
44. 1:47was August when I realized, oh my gosh,
45. 1:49like I need to be doing more summer
46. 1:51things, like I need to be enjoying the
47. 1:53summer more and not dillydallying around
48. 1:55these things because like before you
49. 1:57know it, I'm going to be back at school.
50. 1:58I can't do any of this stuff. And it's
51. 2:00funny, even when now I'm working, you
52. 2:03think, "Oh, you're going to have so much
53. 2:04time. You're going to have so much
54. 2:05time." Before you know it, we're
55. 2:07planning for Halloween and figuring out
56. 2:09what we're going to do in the fall. So,
57. 2:11this episode is to kind of give a gentle
58. 2:14reminder to maximize the summer season
59. 2:16wherever you are or wherever you are in
60. 2:18the world. I know on the eastern part of
61. 2:21the world, you're in the midst of
62. 2:22winter, but wherever you are, it's to
63. 2:26maximize the time that you're in. Today,
64. 2:28I'm going to be sharing five things that
65. 2:30I do after a workday that don't involve
66. 2:33my phone. And this is going to combine
67. 2:35two really popular episodes that I had
68. 2:38put out in the last few months. The
69. 2:40first one is about morning routines and
70. 2:42the other one is about getting off of
71. 2:44social media. With regards to the
72. 2:46morning routines, something I'm just
73. 2:48going to preface for the rest of this
74. 2:50entire episode. I don't want you to copy
75. 2:53anything that I'm doing in this episode.
76. 2:56Really remember the point of routines is
77. 2:58for regulation, that sense of
78. 3:01familiarity, listening to your body. And
79. 3:03something I mentioned in the end of that
80. 3:05episode was reconnecting with your
81. 3:07values. And that's going to be the
82. 3:09guider in this episode today. And with
83. 3:12social media, I wanted to bring things
84. 3:16that I do for myself. This is just
85. 3:18something I naturally do, but emphasize
86. 3:20the importance of of doing things that
87. 3:21don't involve a phone or even a TV to
88. 3:26get off of our digital devices,
89. 3:28reconnect with what's out there, the
90. 3:31people out there, nature, fresh air. And
91. 3:34I think we're all waking up and
92. 3:36realizing how we much we really need to
93. 3:38do that anyway. It just happened to be
94. 3:40that the five core things that I do
95. 3:43after work either involve a sense of
96. 3:47reconnecting with my spirit, my soul,
97. 3:50reconnecting with my body, and
98. 3:52reconnecting with my mind. And it's
99. 3:54funny because people do talk about like
100. 3:56mind, body, spirit quite often in the
101. 3:58wellness world, but they explain
102. 4:01specific things that you must do in
103. 4:03order to reconnect with it. And I do
104. 4:05think it is important to remember that
105. 4:07how we connect with our spirituality,
106. 4:09how we connect with our creativity, how
107. 4:11we connect with our body, that can all
108. 4:14entail slightly different things. So
109. 4:17once again, it's that nuance in life
110. 4:20where what might be a perfect after work
111. 4:24routine for me might look completely
112. 4:26different from you. So really, I just
113. 4:28want you to like listen to what I'm
114. 4:30sharing with my ideas there and see what
115. 4:34resonates and also it might encourage
116. 4:37you to dive a little bit more into your
117. 4:38values. when I'm not happy, when I'm
118. 4:41feeling really disconnected
119. 4:43and meh, and you know that feeling
120. 4:46inside where you're just like feeling
121. 4:48this tension. For the longest time, I
122. 4:50thought the reasons why I couldn't get
123. 4:53up in the morning very easily and get
124. 4:56excited for my day with work is because
125. 4:59I didn't enjoy my work enough. And
126. 5:02actually what I was realizing is I
127. 5:04didn't involve enough in my day that was
128. 5:09directly connected to some of my top
129. 5:12values. Cuz even though maybe I love
130. 5:14what I do for work and that gives me a
131. 5:17lot of fulfillment and purpose, it
132. 5:20doesn't entail every bit of my value.
133. 5:23Like my whole life isn't work. And I was
134. 5:26I was totally neglecting my main values.
135. 5:28And
136. 5:30now time and time again I'm like I need
137. 5:32to reach these weekly targets of
138. 5:34fulfilling some of my main values and I
139. 5:37just feel so much happier about my life.
140. 5:39And so that's another reason why it is
141. 5:41so crucial to build a routine around
142. 5:44what you really value. Otherwise it just
143. 5:48might also feel me and [clears throat]
144. 5:50not really making you excited to wake up
145. 5:52in the morning. Okay. First thing
146. 5:55spirituality. I'm a very spiritual
147. 5:57person. I feel so much more connected to
148. 6:01myself, grounded and safe, protected.
149. 6:06I'm able to do so much more with my work
150. 6:09in the day, be a better person, feel
151. 6:12like I am maximizing my life when I'm
152. 6:14connected to my spirituality. Depending
153. 6:17on the season, I will have different
154. 6:21sources of how I can connect with that.
155. 6:23in the summertime. I think a lot of us
156. 6:25forget how blessed we are with how many
157. 6:28ways we can connect to our spirituality
158. 6:30and nature. Nature is a way of doing
159. 6:32that because a lot of the things that
160. 6:34I'm looking around me in my apartment
161. 6:36are all man-made. Trees, grass, flowers,
162. 6:41all of that where a man, woman, a person
163. 6:44did not touch it. It just came to be and
164. 6:47it was you have to wonder how long has
165. 6:48that tree been there for? Like hundreds
166. 6:50of years maybe. You're connecting to
167. 6:52something greater than yourself. And
168. 6:55nature, I've always found, is such a
169. 6:58great way of doing that. After work, I
170. 7:00try and get some nature time. It can
171. 7:03look like a lot of different things.
172. 7:05When I am working here in my apartment,
173. 7:08there's an great trail that's near me,
174. 7:11so I can go for a nature walk. I can
175. 7:14also drive over to my parents house and
176. 7:16spend time in their nice, luscious
177. 7:18backyard and lay in the grass, go
178. 7:22swimming, connect with water, touch a
179. 7:25tree, touch grass. If I'm going and
180. 7:28staying at my grandparents house, they
181. 7:31have a bay right there. So, I can go out
182. 7:33and go swimming in the bay after work.
183. 7:37Also, tons of nature trails. Those
184. 7:40things very much ground me back to the
185. 7:44pace of life, like what life is really
186. 7:46supposed to feel like. I always feel
187. 7:48like when I'm feeling this tension, this
188. 7:50buzzing, this like urgency constantly,
189. 7:53that is a sign that we're staying too
190. 7:55long in the man-made world where
191. 7:58everything needs to be fast and evolved
192. 8:01and quick. Whereas nature has a
193. 8:04different sense of pace that is
194. 8:07sustainable. and you sense that like
195. 8:10wisdom that comes off of it. And that's
196. 8:12also why I built my guide align your
197. 8:14life with the seasons because it's any
198. 8:17time that I felt disconnected with with
199. 8:19my work or what I'm doing, I look at
200. 8:21what nature is doing right now and for
201. 8:24some reason it started to really click
202. 8:26of how I can also adopt the lessons that
203. 8:29they're doing to navigate life, to
204. 8:32navigate the world out there. And we are
205. 8:34really connected. That is something we
206. 8:36forget how connected we are like we are
207. 8:39nature too and it's good to remember to
208. 8:43go back to what our ancestors did and go
209. 8:46go hug a tree. Next two things, you can
210. 8:49kind of blend them into their own
211. 8:51category, but I do like to separate
212. 8:54them. And that includes going to see
213. 8:57family, that is number two, and going to
214. 8:59see friends, that's number three. Seeing
215. 9:02people, but specifically my loved ones,
216. 9:05and that can entail my family, my
217. 9:08friends, my boyfriend. That is so
218. 9:10important to me. And it's there's
219. 9:11actually so many studies about the
220. 9:14importance of going and seeing somebody
221. 9:17in person and having conversation with
222. 9:18them in person. It's a becoming less
223. 9:22frequent in this day and age where we
224. 9:24can communicate with anybody on our on
225. 9:26our phones online. Although it's a great
226. 9:29thing to be able to do that. Like my
227. 9:31best friend, I had a call with her the
228. 9:32other day because she lives 3 and 1 half
229. 9:34hours away from me. I can't just get my
230. 9:37things after a work day at 5:00 and go
231. 9:39drive and go see her, you know, like we
232. 9:41need to plan that way in advance. So,
233. 9:43that's great. But in general, one to two
234. 9:47days out of the week, I like to go out
235. 9:49and see somebody. I know that seeing
236. 9:53people in person is so healing and
237. 9:58healthy, but let's get even more facts
238. 10:01of why that is the way it is. So, I
239. 10:02looked it up. One of the reasons why
240. 10:04seeing people is so great and aligns
241. 10:07with the idea that I mentioned with
242. 10:10routines and regulation nervous system
243. 10:13regulation. When you go and spend time
244. 10:16with somebody that you love and you feel
245. 10:19safe around them and you feel happy with
246. 10:21them, your nervous system starts to
247. 10:23regulate. This is called a process of
248. 10:25co-regulation. It's why that when you
249. 10:28want to heal faster, you want to process
250. 10:30things faster, it usually can be done
251. 10:34when you're with somebody you care for.
252. 10:37Like you when you're with somebody you
253. 10:39love, like if you're going through a
254. 10:40breakup, you're going through grief or a
255. 10:42really hard time. Sometimes we have this
256. 10:45urge to isolate and not see people when
257. 10:48really we should be doing the opposite.
258. 10:50We should be choosing the people we
259. 10:51really love and we care for and we've
260. 10:53always felt safe around because that's
261. 10:55going to allow us to co-regulate a bit
262. 10:58and calm our nervous system down in a
263. 11:01neurotransmitter and happy hormone way.
264. 11:03When you're hanging around people who
265. 11:06make you feel good, you have more
266. 11:08oxytocin because it's like a trusting
267. 11:10bonding hormone that happens when you're
268. 11:12with somebody that you trust. It also
269. 11:15lowers cortisol. So that is the nervous
270. 11:17system regulation by lowering your fight
271. 11:20orflight response. It's lowering the
272. 11:23amygdala reacting which was something I
273. 11:26mentioned in my meditation video. The
274. 11:29way we see stories, the way we see
275. 11:31things, we create stories around them
276. 11:33and emotions around them and reactions
277. 11:34around them. So when you're with people
278. 11:36you trust, that starts to lower. Your
279. 11:39veagal tone starts to improve and your
280. 11:43heart rate variability also improves. So
281. 11:45those are some facts. All in all, that
282. 11:47is just to say that when you're with
283. 11:49people and you can also sense their like
284. 11:51electromagnetic field with you, not just
285. 11:54like over the phone. You see their
286. 11:56facial expressions. You you're building
287. 11:58rapport with them in the way that you're
288. 12:00communicating. Everything in your
289. 12:03nervous system starts to regulate and
290. 12:05relax. Like you're actually feeling
291. 12:07replenished. Whereas when you're on your
292. 12:10phone and you're scrolling, that's just
293. 12:12making it worse. And I do think with
294. 12:14socializing, it's really easy to get
295. 12:17into these routines
296. 12:20where you go through socializing a lot
297. 12:23and then you go through socializing not
298. 12:25at all. And I always think about the
299. 12:27first law in physics of inertia
300. 12:31where matter likes to continue doing
301. 12:33what it's already doing. And sometimes I
302. 12:35think oh we kind of are like that too.
303. 12:37Like we like to continue doing what we
304. 12:39are doing. So, if we've gone a long
305. 12:40amount of time without seeing our
306. 12:42friends, going and booking that first
307. 12:45meetup is going to be the hardest. Like,
308. 12:48making that a part of your schedule
309. 12:50after work and going and doing this is
310. 12:53is going to be the hardest. But almost
311. 12:54every time you'll notice that you spend
312. 12:56time with people you love and find fun
313. 12:58and you laugh with or you feel like
314. 13:00you're able to just feel better about
315. 13:02life with makes all of it worth it. But
316. 13:05it's just that pattern reset that takes
317. 13:07so much time. In the summertime,
318. 13:09sometimes that's just me meeting up with
319. 13:10a friend and grabbing some ice cream.
320. 13:12Going for a walk on the street and just
321. 13:15talking, going for a nature walk with
322. 13:17them, killing two birds with one stone.
323. 13:20I have a concert that I'm going to go
324. 13:21to. I go to concerts more in the
325. 13:24summertime than I do in the winter time
326. 13:25because you can be outside. So, I'm
327. 13:27going to go to a concert in a couple
328. 13:29days and see some friends. Family is
329. 13:32also so important. Like I'm noticing
330. 13:35family is something I could never live
331. 13:38without. Like I'm so grateful for my
332. 13:41parents. I'm so grateful for my sister.
333. 13:43I'm grateful for my entire extended
334. 13:45family. This past weekend, I went to go
335. 13:49see my non no non no who are in a
336. 13:52longterm care because they both have
337. 13:54dementia. And although they might not
338. 13:57really know who I am, you can just tell
339. 14:00how grateful they are to be around
340. 14:03somebody who loves them, even though
341. 14:06they don't really know who that person
342. 14:08is. And that's why I I think it's really
343. 14:11special even if cognitively we're not
344. 14:13able to say, "Oh, this is soand so who
345. 14:16is my granddaughter." They can still
346. 14:18sense through my body language, through
347. 14:21my tone of voice, through the words that
348. 14:23I say, through my energy of like what
349. 14:25I'm giving to them that they're safe,
350. 14:29they're loved, and they'll have a smile
351. 14:31on their face, so they'll be happy. In
352. 14:34turn, that also makes me feel good. Like
353. 14:36I also feel really like happy and and
354. 14:40grateful. Then I saw my papa who very is
355. 14:42cognitively aware. He's just going
356. 14:44through more physical issues and he's
357. 14:48just so grateful to see us. And I'm just
358. 14:51Some people might think going to see
359. 14:53your grandparents that are just in a
360. 14:56retirement home would not be a great way
361. 14:58to spend an evening after work, but I
362. 15:01know that nothing is certain. Not even
363. 15:03our friends now, not even the ages that
364. 15:06they're at. And especially those odds
365. 15:09are even less when it comes to your
366. 15:11grandparents who are like in their 90s.
367. 15:14You don't know how many more visits you
368. 15:16have with them. So I try and maximize
369. 15:18more of my experience, not in like a
370. 15:21scarcity way, but of just recognizing
371. 15:24that and trying to take advantage of it.
372. 15:26And I'm so grateful that I do. There was
373. 15:28a period of time when I didn't really
374. 15:31like what I was doing in my 9 to5. And
375. 15:34all that was getting me through the week
376. 15:36was when am I going to see my friend
377. 15:38next and when am I going to see my
378. 15:41family next? Like I need to see
379. 15:43somebody. I need to reconnect with what
380. 15:45I love and who I love. those things that
381. 15:47I just mentioned, nature and seeing
382. 15:50people, my soul beyond the nervous
383. 15:53system regulation. Okay. My soul feels
384. 15:57like replenished and I feel that I could
385. 16:00tackle anything that comes my way with
386. 16:03work the next day, all the emails, all
387. 16:05the stuff. I remember Billy Eyish said
388. 16:08in an interview where she used to be
389. 16:10kind of sad that she had not a lot of
390. 16:13friends. And this might be another
391. 16:15episode that I talk about about making
392. 16:17friends in your 20s and adulthood after
393. 16:20university because it isn't an easy
394. 16:21thing. And you're learning to navigate
395. 16:24being friends with people who might go
396. 16:26down different paths and have so many
397. 16:29different friends in different ages and
398. 16:30different lifestyles in a way that's
399. 16:32very very different than it was when we
400. 16:34were in school. So there could be these
401. 16:37chunks in your young adulthood where you
402. 16:40have you're feeling down because of a
403. 16:42lack of friends. She said that
404. 16:44eventually she was able to find a lot of
405. 16:46friends. I think she reconnected with
406. 16:48them from like her childhood or high
407. 16:50school and said in an interview that
408. 16:53like my life is worth meeting meaning
409. 16:57because of my friends. I think that's so
410. 17:00special because any of us could look at
411. 17:02Billy Irish eyelash and says, "Wow, she
412. 17:05has it all. She's won how many Grammys
413. 17:07in one session?" Like, she's an
414. 17:09incredible artist. She is probably set
415. 17:12for life with money. Not probably is set
416. 17:14for life with money. She says despite
417. 17:16all the luxuries that come from being a
418. 17:19famous artist, a famous singer, it's her
419. 17:23friends. It's the connections she has
420. 17:25with her friends and family. The next
421. 17:26thing is something that reconnects with
422. 17:30my body in general, fueling my body with
423. 17:33really good food, with with working out.
424. 17:35It's not just releasing endorphins, but
425. 17:38I'm allowing my body to be healthier, to
426. 17:42set it up to experience more of this
427. 17:45life. Like if I don't eat well and I
428. 17:48don't work out, then maybe I won't be
429. 17:50able to do that really cool traveling
430. 17:53where I want to go in Asia and take this
431. 17:56like really cool hike and experience a
432. 17:58part of the world that I wouldn't be
433. 17:59able to do if my legs weren't working
434. 18:01properly and my heart wasn't working
435. 18:02properly. I really work out more for the
436. 18:06function of it now than ever. Of course,
437. 18:08I have moments, especially in the
438. 18:10summertime, which I know a lot of us
439. 18:12have struggled with, is like body
440. 18:13dysmorphia and insecurities. Working out
441. 18:16for me though, I try and do what my body
442. 18:20is craving, what it needs. And also just
443. 18:23doing that because I work such a
444. 18:26stationary job. Like I am at the
445. 18:28computer all day like this. Like I need
446. 18:30to move my body. I need to go for these
447. 18:32walks. I need to be stretching. I I I
448. 18:34feel good. And even if it's 20 minutes
449. 18:37or 30 minutes, I moved my body. So doing
450. 18:40that and also cooking food. I am a total
451. 18:43foodie. I love love food. Love good
452. 18:46food. And the more that I travel, the
453. 18:48more I feel inspired to cook because
454. 18:51there's very cool dishes that I've I've
455. 18:55had in places like Croatia and Greece
456. 18:57and Italy and Spain and Norway. A lot of
457. 19:00places that I've traveled and I just
458. 19:02want to replicate them at home. can't
459. 19:04always buy it. And I I'm mindful about
460. 19:07my spending when it comes to ordering
461. 19:09out. Like I prefer to cook. Cooking also
462. 19:13is very mindful for me. I'm able to
463. 19:15place like some fun music on, maybe
464. 19:18catch up on an album that I've missed,
465. 19:20like Petal by Ariana Grande.
466. 19:24So good. And last but not least,
467. 19:26something that replenishes my creative
468. 19:28energy. I've mentioned this before in uh
469. 19:32previous episodes, but since I do plan
470. 19:35my life of the seasons in the winter
471. 19:36time when it's a lot slower, we're
472. 19:39slowing down on our craft and our goals
473. 19:41in general, goal setting and
474. 19:43productivity. I have a lot more pockets
475. 19:45to do fun creative things. Like that's
476. 19:47where I was doing puzzles and I was
477. 19:49coloring and drawing and making these
478. 19:52little clay things like reconnecting
479. 19:54with the inner child in me in the summer
480. 19:56and spring months. and a and the early
481. 20:00parts of fall as well, autumn, you are
482. 20:04in the goal setting mode. You are
483. 20:06slightly in a more productive mode with
484. 20:08getting these things done and seeing
485. 20:10progress in that. So, the pockets of
486. 20:13free time are lessened. I'm able to have
487. 20:16more energy to see people in the summer,
488. 20:19so I see them as much as I can. In the
489. 20:21winter time, everybody tends to
490. 20:23hibernate and we don't go to so many
491. 20:26events like that. So any time that I do
492. 20:29have, I found it's not really like the
493. 20:32traditional painting. It's not playing
494. 20:34music. It's not coloring. It's not doing
495. 20:38puzzles. The most seamless way that
496. 20:41feels like reconnects with my creative
497. 20:43energy is when I'm taking care of my
498. 20:44plants and my garden. I am attempting to
499. 20:49grow tomatoes on my patio. They could
500. 20:52definitely have more sunlight and I
501. 20:55don't know how well they're going to
502. 20:56turn out. But after work one day, spent
503. 20:58time putting stakes in the tomato plants
504. 21:01and keeping them upright and cleaning up
505. 21:04the plants, checking on them, pruning
506. 21:07anything around it so that it looked
507. 21:08really pretty. And sometimes aesthetics
508. 21:11are so needed. Like I my patio looks so
509. 21:15cute. Even though it's super tiny, it
510. 21:18looks so cute. I also like to get
511. 21:20flowers a lot and make an effort to go
512. 21:24and get flowers, even wild flowers, out
513. 21:27on my nature walks and making things
514. 21:29look pretty. Sometimes my creative
515. 21:31energy is replenished through cooking
516. 21:33too of of trying things, making it look
517. 21:36pretty, getting crafty, but once again,
518. 21:39I just don't make enough time for that
519. 21:41because I'm trying to prioritize other
520. 21:43things. But at the very end of things,
521. 21:45because I work a very creative job, I
522. 21:49need to make sure I'm replenishing my
523. 21:50creative energy in some ways. And the
524. 21:53last thing that I can mention that does
525. 21:55replenish it is reading fiction books.
526. 21:58So, I haven't been reading any fantasy.
527. 22:00I do that more in the winter time as you
528. 22:03guys know. But I have been reading a
529. 22:05summer book. Emily Henry, she's so
530. 22:09funny. Oh, I think it's another way for
531. 22:11me to romanticize
532. 22:13the seasons that I'm in. Like, I like to
533. 22:15read a fall book and a winter book and a
534. 22:17spring book and a summer books and watch
535. 22:21summer movies and watch summer shows,
536. 22:23but I didn't want to talk about those
537. 22:25things because it involves screens. The
538. 22:27point of this episode is to encourage
539. 22:29you to think about what is your current
540. 22:32lifestyle? What might you be lacking in
541. 22:35that current lifestyle that you value?
542. 22:38If you are somebody that works remotely
543. 22:40like me, like I'm predominantly working
544. 22:42remotely where I'm not seeing people and
545. 22:45crossing paths with people on a
546. 22:47day-to-day basis. And so that's why also
547. 22:49I just need to say build what you do
548. 22:52after work around what you value and
549. 22:54also around your lifestyle. Because I am
550. 22:57remote, I crave more social interaction.
551. 23:01Like I need more social interaction. So,
552. 23:04I can't wait to go see my friend after
553. 23:06work and play pickle ball with them and
554. 23:08then grab sushi after. Like, I can't
555. 23:10wait for that. I can't wait to see my
556. 23:11boyfriend walk through the door so I can
557. 23:13hang out with him and we'll go do
558. 23:16something in the evening or even just
559. 23:18stay in and chill. Like, I just can't
560. 23:20wait to talk to him and be around
561. 23:22another person. Four years ago, I was
562. 23:24working with my parents. So, I was in
563. 23:26their office working and spent most of
564. 23:29my days with them. So after work, I
565. 23:33didn't always prioritize quality time
566. 23:36with them because I was with them all
567. 23:38day now because not only do I not see
568. 23:41them in person cuz I don't work the that
569. 23:44office job anymore with them, but I also
570. 23:46don't live with them anymore. So I have
571. 23:50to make intentional time to go out and
572. 23:53see them. If it's for dinner, if it's
573. 23:55for an evening, spending time at the
574. 23:57pool, a sauna with them, whatever, I
575. 24:00have to make time to go and see them.
576. 24:02And because my lifestyle has changed, my
577. 24:04work and personal lifestyle has changed.
578. 24:07If my job was not so creative and more
579. 24:10analytical, then maybe I would feel even
580. 24:14more of a need to do something creative
581. 24:16and have a creative outlet. But because
582. 24:18I have the 20 Z talks, this has been my
583. 24:21creative outlet for years now and I love
584. 24:23it. Um, and I feel very fulfilled in
585. 24:26that way. So
586. 24:28that's just to say after this episode,
587. 24:31just think about what you value. I put
588. 24:33it in another episode. I'll put more the
589. 24:35Bnee Brown's values in the description
590. 24:38for you guys to think about. Choose the
591. 24:40most important ones, like the ones
592. 24:42you're like, that is so crucial to me.
593. 24:44Spend some time on it. Don't just like
594. 24:46think, "Oh, I should value this." Like,
595. 24:48really think about what lights you up.
596. 24:51It could be different than family. It
597. 24:53could be different than friends and all
598. 24:55that. But I will say we are social
599. 24:58beings at the end of the day. And I
600. 25:00think it is important for us to spend
601. 25:02more time seeing people in person. Even
602. 25:06if you're the biggest introvert in the
603. 25:08world, is there anybody on this planet
604. 25:11that you feel safe with and like you
605. 25:13really feel like you can be yourself
606. 25:14with? Even if there's one person, that
607. 25:17is the person that you should see more
608. 25:19and go out and spend some time with
609. 25:21because you, even the most introverted
610. 25:24person out there, needs that person to
611. 25:27feel regulated. Co-regulation is so
612. 25:30important. We're really lacking it in
613. 25:32our generation because of our phones and
614. 25:34social media devices. Even gaming where
615. 25:37you're not able to see your friends in
616. 25:39person. I I see my boyfriend who's
617. 25:42gaming with all my guy friends. I'm
618. 25:43like, can you guys go and see each
619. 25:45other? You haven't seen each other in
620. 25:46months. [laughter]
621. 25:47The final thing that I'll say before I
622. 25:49go is how do you fit this into your
623. 25:52schedule? How do you fit the things once
624. 25:54you've figured it out what you value and
625. 25:55what you need to do that don't involve
626. 25:56the phones? How do you fit in to your
627. 25:58schedule? I think what's really
628. 26:00important is to understand the why
629. 26:02behind it. And sometimes you need to say
630. 26:05no to things to make space for things
631. 26:08that really matter. Sometimes I need to
632. 26:11say no to friends because I can't see
633. 26:13them Monday through Friday. I need to do
634. 26:16other things that replenish my energy.
635. 26:17I'm like, "Hey, can we do this next week
636. 26:19or the following week?" You're allowed
637. 26:21to say no. You're allowed to also ask
638. 26:23for delegation when you really need that
639. 26:25support. Figure out the ways that you
640. 26:28can fit these values into your lifestyle
641. 26:31and you'll realize you'll start to feel
642. 26:34abundant. You'll start to feel abundant.
643. 26:36You'll start to attract things that you
644. 26:38have always meant to attract and bring
645. 26:41in. Whether that is more financial
646. 26:43abundance or work abundance,
647. 26:47love abundance, because you're doing
648. 26:49more things that you want to do than
649. 26:51what you think you should be doing.
650. 26:54Before we close off this episode, just a
651. 26:57reminder that one of the best ways that
652. 26:59you can support this channel is by
653. 27:02buying my guide, Align Your Life with
654. 27:04the Seasons. It's a four-part guide and
655. 27:08workbook that you can take throughout
656. 27:09the rest of the year. It starts in the
657. 27:12beginning of the Gregorian calendar.
658. 27:14However, it's not the new year, new me.
659. 27:17We're not going to be goal setting or
660. 27:18taking action in the winter time. That
661. 27:20is more of a spring season. Summer has a
662. 27:23unique energy where I just spoke about
663. 27:27in a recent newsletter to my workbook
664. 27:30purchasers about summer's energy. Every
665. 27:33single month I release a unique article
666. 27:36to them to have extra guidance. I'm
667. 27:38always here for extra help if you're
668. 27:40wanting to work towards something. I'm
669. 27:42just an email away and especially if you
670. 27:45purchase a guide from me, like I'm going
671. 27:47to be there to support you. Also, I have
672. 27:50a free newsletter that goes out every
673. 27:52single Sunday where you'll have more
674. 27:54tips about what I share and three
675. 27:57actions of the week. something to listen
676. 27:58to, something to journal about, and an
677. 28:01activity to try for the week ahead. So
678. 28:03that whatever I share on here is not
679. 28:06just inspiration, it becomes
680. 28:08transformation. Thank you so much for
681. 28:10listening. I'll see you next week. Bye.