5 Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Life — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:03In theory, there are only four styles of parenting.
2. 0:07Authoritarian parents are controlling and demand obedience without considering the child’s
3. 0:13point of view.
4. 0:14Permissive parents are loving, but don’t exert any control.
5. 0:19There are no rules.
6. 0:22Authoritative parents who are firm but loving.
7. 0:24They encourage independence, within limits.
8. 0:29Neglecting parents are uninvolved and often uninterested in their own child.
9. 0:34Recently a 5th style was proposed, but we will come back to that later.
10. 0:41The styles range from controlling and demanding, to complete freedom; and from cold and unresponsive
11. 0:47to loving and receptive.
12. 0:50Each, authoritative, permissive, authoritarian and neglectful parents, have their place.
13. 0:57To understand what it means to grow up with parents from each end of the spectrum, we
14. 1:02can imagine the lives of four children.
15. 1:07Sara's parents are Authoritarian.
16. 1:10They love their girl, but they believe that strict rules are important to make Sara become
17. 1:15well behaved and fit into the society.
18. 1:19If Sara cries, she’s told to stop.
19. 1:22If she talks back, she is sent to the corner for timeout.
20. 1:26If she forgets to take care of her chores around the house, she is not allowed to play
21. 1:31with her toys.
22. 1:35Sara learns that suppressing her emotions and following her duties is the way to get
23. 1:40through the day.
24. 1:41To get the love of her parents, and to avoid making them upset, she becomes obedient.
25. 1:47However, because Sara was never allowed to decide for herself or follow her intrinsic
26. 1:54interests, as an adult, she doesn't know what she really wants.
27. 1:58She begins living a life that seems perfect to her parents and society, but might leave
28. 2:04her unhappy on the inside.
29. 2:08Permissive parents , like those of Peter, love their little boy so much that they believe
30. 2:14they should fulfill all his wishes, give him full freedom and never say “no”.
31. 2:20Peter enjoys full control over his parents and gets whatever he wants.
32. 2:25If he doesn’t want to walk, he’ll be carried.
33. 2:28If he wants ice-cream, ice-cream he gets.
34. 2:31If he wants to play games, he’ll be playing them all night.
35. 2:37Peter grows up completely without borders and does whatever he thinks is right.
36. 2:42He never coped with conflict and he did not learn to control his emotions.
37. 2:48The fact that he always got what he wanted made him a bad loser.
38. 2:53As he grows older he often acts inconsiderate and doesn’t know his limits.
39. 3:00Arthur's Authoritative parents respect their child's needs, but believe that kids need
40. 3:06freedom within certain limits.
41. 3:08Arthur can freely play, but when he’s done, he needs to help tidy up.
42. 3:13He is allowed to eat ice cream, but only on Sundays.
43. 3:18Screen-time is limited to 30 minutes a day.
44. 3:21There may be conflict, but the parents listen to what Arthur has to say and then lay down
45. 3:27the rules.
46. 3:28However, they don’t give in, nor do they use rewards or punishments.
47. 3:30Arthur learns that some things are difficult, but his parents give him all the support he
48. 3:34needs to get through it.
49. 3:36He develops the strength to endure hardships and to continue following his interests and
50. 3:42passions.
51. 3:44In class he bravely expresses his own opinions in an appropriate manner.
52. 3:49During breaks he can show his emotions and act freely.
53. 3:53As an adult he agrees to rules only after they have been discussed and he feels like
54. 3:59he understands them.
55. 4:03Neglectful parents are usually not present in their children's life.
56. 4:07Nora often feels completely alone in the world.
57. 4:11She experiences full freedom to do anything she wants to and has plenty of imagination
58. 4:16, but she never receives any feedback, affection, love or even attention.
59. 4:22Nora realizes that it doesn’t matter what she does, because no one cares anyway.
60. 4:27The lack of attention, leads to a lack of trust in herself and others.
61. 4:32She becomes insecurely attached, unable to form healthy relationships and develops a
62. 4:38negative image of herself.
63. 4:40To stop feeling unworthy of love , she tries not to feel anything at all.
64. 4:48In recent years, over-Involved parents, who are present in every aspect of their child’s
65. 4:54life, are often referred to as the 5th style.
66. 4:57These parents are also known as ‘snow plows’, removing obstacles out of their kids' path,
67. 5:04or 'helicopter' parents, who hover about and micro-manage every aspect of their child's
68. 5:10life.
69. 5:11Since they won’t let their children do anything alone, the children can’t learn to overcome
70. 5:16challenges by themselves.
71. 5:19Research infers that these children don’t like to solve difficult problems , lack perseverance
72. 5:25and may even procrastinate in protest when something requires a lot of effort.
73. 5:32Since most research on parenting is based on self-reports and was done in the US and
74. 5:39Europe, it is not clear how strong the observed effects will hold up in controlled observational
75. 5:45experiments or in other parts of the word.
76. 5:50The four parenting styles were first introduced by Psychologist Diana Baumrind.
77. 5:56For good parenting she advised: “balance of demandingness and responsiveness".
78. 6:01Add to that the wise words of Maria Montessori to “Never help a child with a task at which
79. 6:07he feels he can succeed.”
80. 6:09and parents should probably do pretty well.
81. 6:12What do you think?
82. 6:15Should parents resort to a specific style or should they decide what's best to do in
83. 6:20a given situation — as long as they don’t neglect or abuse their child.
84. 6:26To download this video without background music and learn more about the topic, visit
85. 6:31sproutsschools.com