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Как понять своё призвание и найти дело по душе — Transcript

by Роман Тарасенко · 8,835 words · 1,357 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Vladimir, hello.
0:01Hello, Roman.
0:02The most important question: how do you
0:04find your calling? It's really all the
0:06same, in short, it's not that difficult
0:10. It's important not to dwell on
0:12yourself, because if we're talking
0:14concretely, not philosophically, not,
0:16God forbid, not esotericly, but calling
0:18does exist. It's not something the
0:20universe gave you or something, some
0:23supernatural power, but biology. And if
0:26you really understand this, you can
0:27actually understand what calling is.
0:29And, in principle, it doesn't take that
0:31long. It's also important to understand
0:33that this calling needs to be
0:34materialized, that is, turned into a
0:36product. And in order to...well, I mean
0:38, calling—it's not just when you do
0:39something you love. It would be
0:41desirable to receive recognition for it
0:43, in addition to this calling, right?
0:46And, starting from the postulate that,
0:48well, something great can truly only be
0:50created in what you love. Well, we kind
0:53of philosophically know that something
0:56great, great products, great creative
0:58and business products, can be created
1:01when you enjoy the process of creation.
1:04And it seems like no one really argues
1:06with that. Ah, but the thing is, what
1:09you love doesn't depend on you at all.
1:12It's predetermined. Now, we're actually
1:15getting a little into biology. If time
1:18allows, you can interrupt me at any
1:21time. Look, here's the thing. What
1:24you love really doesn't depend on you
1:27at all. And your body, your organism,
1:30never hides this from you. And it's
1:32predetermined by your genetics. That is
1:35, there are certain genetic
1:36predispositions for your nervous system
1:39. You are born with them. That is,
1:41whether you like mushrooms or not is
1:43clear from conception. And you can't
1:45change that. So, if, say, you don't
1:47like olives as a child, but then you
1:49start liking them later, that's not
1:51under your control. A certain code has
1:53simply been activated, and it's
1:55genetically activated. These are
1:58settings for the nervous system, which
2:00determines that I feel good there, that
2:02I know how to earn security. And when
2:05you've earned security, you begin to
2:07develop reserves, so to speak. That's
2:09called living a great life. So, if I'm
2:11doing well in terms of security, then I
2:13live a great life and increase these
2:15things. And it's genetically determined
2:17. And this code, in principle, can be
2:20deciphered quite easily, because it's
2:22what your psyche, your nervous system,
2:25pushes you towards every single day.
2:28When you're doing something wrong,
2:30you're relaxing. When you're doing
2:32exactly that, where your psyche, which
2:34knows me well there, pushes you, it
2:36begins to develop it. And if you truly
2:39analyze your behavior, you can always
2:42discover what your psyche is
2:44genetically predisposed to, what you
2:47enjoy doing. So, let's say, what is a
2:50calling, if we're not talking about
2:51philosophy, it's something I'm willing
2:54to do for free, but I'm paid for it.
2:56And this is precisely what allows those
2:58same great people we all know about—
3:00all the famous ones, all the greats—
3:02their psyches are structured that way;
3:04they were so lucky, they weren't
3:05blinded by societal pressure. Because
3:08they simply couldn't help but do it.
3:10Please like this video and leave a
3:13comment. And we'll continue. So it
3:15turns out that this is the best advice,
3:17in my opinion, which, ah, professional
3:20teachers often give regarding young
3:22children, about when they say, "Well,
3:24how can I understand, get to know my
3:26child, what their calling is, when
3:28children are still little?"-the advice
3:30usually boils down to one simple thing:
3:33create a rich environment at home, so
3:35that all possible manifestations are
3:37there, so that not only kinetic sand,
3:39but absolutely everything is there. And
3:42simply observe, without interfering
3:44with this process. This is something
3:46that, in an ideal picture of the world,
3:48we, adults, should also partly do with
3:51ourselves. And to understand, well, of
3:53course, it is difficult for us to be
3:54both the object and the subject of
3:56observation.
3:56Well, yes.
3:57Ah, but one way or another, and to
4:00understand what you generally find joy
4:04in doing. This, by the way, is one of
4:07the most painful, I believe, and
4:08generally the problem of problems. The
4:11fact that the number of people who
4:13happily go to work, who happily take on
4:16tasks. Here in this phrase, they
4:20happily take on tasks. And for many,
4:23this sounds absolutely like: we must
4:26suffer.
4:27Yeah. And, actually, I wrote about this
4:30, and I can also tell you where you
4:33came from, when it started, why all of
4:35a sudden. And here's another important
4:38point, and I fight for this. Well, I
4:40mean, we all roughly understand
4:41philosophically, yes, what's good does
4:43what's good. We're for everything good
4:44and against everything bad. But this
4:46isn't an evidence-based system, but we
4:48want to find evidence. And, actually,
4:50this evidence, it's in science. And
4:52famous bloggers like UNC Stamford
4:55University, this
4:56experiment about happiness, the
4:58biology of good and evil. And
4:59Drobyshevsky, they really explain
5:01everything to us. Organize how it works
5:04, I'm not really saying anything new.
5:06And look, the trick is this. We have a
5:08big problem. In our everyday life, we
5:12have this idea that what we feel is our
5:16weaknesses, but we need to act wisely.
5:20And the trick is that the mechanics of
5:23thinking are exclusively feelings.
5:26Nothing else exists. So, again, they
5:29say the brain works, they say, at 5-10%
5:31. No, that's not true. It works 100%.
5:34We just understand the 10%, but the
5:36mechanism of the thought process in
5:39neurons, in the nervous system, is the
5:41same. We, that is, neurons are a
5:43database, neural connections are those
5:46very databases that exchange. The more
5:48neural connections, the more
5:50connections, the more opinions, so to
5:52speak, neurons have about a given event
5:54we use. And neurons, uh, in neural
5:57connections, in synapses, they send
5:59neurotransmitters that produce
6:01sensations; artificial intelligence is
6:04built on this. 1 yes, no, good, bad.
6:08That is, physically I feel good, bad, I
6:11can't, I may not realize it. And if
6:13good, bad—that's an opinion. I may
6:16not have an opinion if those same
6:17neurons don't have the information.
6:19Accordingly, when you receive
6:21information—good, bad—that's an
6:23opinion, and you can't change it. And
6:26from this opinion, a small piece of
6:28information, you understand why this is
6:30so, and you think. And the thing is
6:33that every single feeling we experience
6:36is rational consciousness. But when we
6:39start to fight them, like, no, what
6:41kind of weakness is this? It's not
6:42weakness, it's a manifestation of the
6:44intelligence of your entire nervous
6:46system, and awareness is a
6:47three-year-old, so to speak. That is,
6:49everything we feel is an adult, and
6:51this is a three-year-old. I don't
6:53understand, I will fight. My dad told
6:55me as a child that I need to be strong
6:57and let's do something out of spite.
6:58You can do as much out of spite as you
7:01want, but it won't change anything.
7:03Your genetic nervous system said: "We
7:05don't like it there, we will fight in
7:07every possible way." And the nervous
7:10system works in two modes. Either I
7:12develop, if, say, I was given a command
7:15, I do the best I can and do it, and
7:17how else can I do better? Or I turn off
7:20sensitivity. It's a burnout, it's
7:22depression, there's no development. You
7:24simply don't think anything, it's
7:26simply trying to lower your feelings so
7:29you don't go crazy, but you'll return
7:31to the same point. I mean, happy? What
7:34is happiness? We'll come back to this
7:36again. You won't be happy by definition
7:38if you do it out of spite, to spite
7:40your own nervous family. Only happiness
7:42knows where it's going. It doesn't know
7:43the end point. It thinks about it in
7:45the moment. We take a step, climb a
7:47hill, look further, see what's actually
7:49happening there. We change, perhaps
7:51adjust our goals, and move on. That is,
7:53all the time. And it's always, never
7:55silent. And it, of course, has a much
7:57more powerful intellect. That is, say,
7:59we pick up a mug, there's boiling water
8:02in it. We don't know. So we grab the
8:05boiling water, someone smart does the
8:07thinking for us, and we throw the cup.
8:11And if there was a child there, someone
8:13also had time to think for us and says:
8:16“No, we will decide this without your
8:19consciousness, we will not throw the
8:21cup, because we are measuring
8:23priorities. The nervous system, to be
8:26clear, here is our DNA, they gave us to
8:29wear. It has a history of 4 billion
8:32years of survival from the paramecium.
8:35All the processes of evolution have
8:36passed. There is a history of survival
8:39and competence, like fingerprints, 4
8:42billion years. And now it has reached
8:45us, it tells you that we have
8:46competences, how we have survived for
8:49generations after generations. Certain
8:51mutations occur. We know that here we
8:53have a rough understanding of how to
8:55survive. We have developed these
8:56competences. You can’t really argue
8:58with knowledge somewhere else. That is,
9:01they say, yes, these past lives. No, of
9:03course, they are not physically there,
9:05but by and large, you were given
9:07competence by DNA, which has a history
9:09of development of 4 billion years. Not
9:11only Mom and Dad, not just grandparents
9:13, but there, there, far, far away. And
9:15she pushes herself, that we are so used
9:17to it, we have learned to survive this
9:18way. She definitely has more
9:20competencies than a small one.
9:21Consciousness. What is consciousness?
9:24It's a mutation. That is, look, we have
9:27DNA, we are animals, we will not argue,
9:30yes, that we are mammals. But, in fact,
9:33we have developed. The information
9:35field, how to survive, it was and was
9:38developed for billions of years. Here
9:41it is. And unlike any animal, what
9:44happened? Any animal, it has no break
9:47with actions. That is, the task of the
9:49nervous system, I, well, that is, you-
9:51this is your nervous system.
9:53The task of the nervous system: I want
9:56to force the body to do or not to do
9:58something through desire, through
10:00unwillingness. Signals are sent, like,
10:02we know everything, we told you, there
10:04is no other comrade, we told you: "
10:06Don't do this, but do this""And there
10:09was no break with actions.
10:10This is exactly when consciousness
10:12appeared,
10:12and consciousness appeared and a break
10:14occurred. We do not have freedom of
10:16choice, but we do have free will. That
10:18is, we have all the information left
10:21over from all our previous, so-called,
10:23generations, but a break occurred
10:25between actions. That is, you were told
10:28everything, everything was explained to
10:30you, but this is not a direct command
10:32to act. You can make a choice, to do
10:33the opposite. That is, there is a break
10:35. This, well, is possible, on the one
10:36hand, this is a good thing, on the
10:37other hand, this is not a good thing at
10:39all. And so this break occurred. That
10:41is, we explained everything to you, you
10:42can’t go near the edge of the roof.
10:44That is, the dog, if it goes to the
10:45edge of the roof, nothing will happen.
10:46It won’t jump there, because it has a
10:48neural connection, it was told
10:49everything,
10:50and it won’t go any faster. Yes,
10:51yes, you shouldn’t do this. You were
10:53also told not to do this, but unlike
10:56any animal, a person can disobey this
10:59order. And because this break occurred.
11:02Again, there is a common Opinion, yes,
11:04we always argue about instincts and so
11:06on. It's written in psychology
11:07textbooks, and psychology is built on
11:09this. Humans don't have instincts.
11:11That's the fundamental point. Instinct.
11:14It's just that, again, well, like we do
11:16, like marketing, like engineering, we
11:18need to define...we need to first
11:19understand the terms, so that we can
11:21then build a science. We decided. What
11:23is instinct? Instinct is unconditional
11:25behavior under certain conditions. That
11:28is, I can't do anything about it, I
11:30have an instinct. Uh, a dog sees a
11:32in heat, she can't do anything
11:35about it. Well, we have physiological
11:37instincts, I would argue here, with the
11:39fact that it doesn't matter, that is,
11:42uh, in particular, a person who is
11:44underwater for a long time without
11:46oxygen takes a breath, because it is an
11:48uncontrollable absolute history, which
11:50is triggered at the level of the
11:52reptilian brain. And people always
11:54wondered why you were there, being
11:55underwater for a long time, why did you
11:57inhale? You knew you shouldn't have.
11:59inhale. Unfortunately, you can't
12:01intervene here because the body says,"
12:03We'll either inhale now, or we'll
12:04inhale. "And it inhales and inhales
12:06into the water. That's one of the
12:07problems. It's
12:08a reflex,
12:09right? It's a reflex, an instinct. Like
12:11when you get hit on the knee,
12:13yes, that's also a reflex, a reflex of
12:14the nervous system,
12:15right? It's a reflex, an introversion,
12:17because these are more, let's say,
12:19complex processes, more complex ones,
12:21which are connected with some kind of
12:23behavioral history. That's how I say,
12:25for example, a,
12:26that is, an internal reflex, an
12:27instinctive reaction to
12:29this is most often, yes, we're talking
12:30about interaction with the external
12:32environment. That is, again, when we
12:34can eat, we want to eat, our instinct
12:36is like
12:37salivating,
12:38saying, like, we need to go eat, but if
12:41, for example, it's there, I don't know
12:44, in a tiger's cage, we can act
12:46differently and we won't eat. We, in
12:48fact, will disrupt this history. And
12:50this is the problem, That this gap
12:52happened, this break occurred, but all
12:54the information is there, it's
12:56physically felt. And this won't change
12:58what you love. It won't change where
13:00your nervous system pushes you. It
13:02won't change. It's impossible if you're
13:04constantly changing yourself, but you
13:06just reach a dead end, and you're lost.
13:09That's exactly the feeling of being
13:11lost. And how did it start? Well, it's
13:13kind of a hypothetical here, well, most
13:15likely, of course, a hypothesis, but
13:16nevertheless, not mine. And then again,
13:18they all write beautifully too. Ah,
13:20that is, when we were still primitive,
13:23what are called comrades, we hardly
13:25realized, yes, that we were different
13:27from some animals. Well, that is, we
13:30just ran around there and ran. Ah, but
13:33we began to behave illogically. Well,
13:36that is, hypothetically, if all the
13:38animals saw a lion there, let's say,
13:39yes, they run away from it,
13:41yes.
13:42And since we experienced a break, it's
13:45not because we are smart, but we began
13:48to behave differently. When they ran
13:50away, when they hid, when they gathered
13:52in a crowd and started yelling at him,
13:53and so on. And yes, of course, we
13:55scared everyone, but we got ourselves
13:57into a certain problem. And if the
13:59nervous system is for everyone, it
14:02tells you how to be happy, well, that
14:04is, again, let's look at animals and so
14:06on, in principle, as it seems to us, we
14:09won't ask them, but they live quite
14:11happily, ah, rest, sleep, and so on.
14:13Well, uh, we will never know about
14:15happiness, but at least in harmony with
14:17ourselves. Yes, in harmony with
14:19ourselves, yes.
14:19But now I'll go back before I ask about
14:22happiness for humans. I involuntarily
14:24remembered how I read a study about why
14:26people love cats so much: that this is
14:28precisely a continuation of the story
14:31that our ancient instinct tells us that
14:33, in theory, we were wary of these very
14:35same ones and don't fully trust them.
14:37But having something unstable at home
14:40is still non-pack, being a cat (it's
14:42not a pack animal after all), and which
14:45evokes an unconscious fear in you,
14:47because it's still inside us. On the
14:50other hand, you can pet it, cuddle it,
14:53and somehow live with it. Ah, but at
14:55the same time, this animal still
14:57scratches you, bites you. Uh, and that
14:58is, in this imbalance of that past fear
15:01and the new, uh, interaction with this
15:03creature...and by the way, even wild
15:06cats haven't changed much, when you
15:08look, they say:" Please, don't go there
15:11, you met a Pallas's cat—don't even
15:13think about petting him, he'll just
15:15tear you to pieces. "And you look...Yes
15:18, dear. Ah, and this is this desire.
15:21But if we return to happiness, you said
15:23that all people can sit down and agree
15:25that happiness is equally
15:27understandable for us and, in general,
15:29can be absolutely not abstract. And we
15:32are no longer talking about abstraction
15:33, but about some specifics. What is
15:34Happiness?
15:35Well, let me try. And, of course, this
15:38can be argued with. I've also conducted
15:40some pretty serious, quantitative
15:43studies with large, different groups of
15:45people. But if everyone tries for
15:47themselves, uh, we're not going to
15:49conduct this experiment now, well,
15:51write out 100 happiness for yourself.
15:53And then they'll just start writing
15:55what happiness is. And at first they'll
15:57start with all sorts of stories, like
15:59security, money, freedom,
16:01bang-bang-bang, all that stuff. We'll
16:03go deeper and deeper, and just dig in:"
16:06What, why do you need freedom? Why do
16:08you need a BMW? Why do you need a
16:10Porsche Cayenne? Why do you need a
16:11House? "" And so on. When you start to
16:13delve deeper, in the end everyone comes
16:16to very simple things. Not
16:18philosophical, but simple. Being with
16:21the one you love, doing what you love.
16:24And there are the rest, I call them,
16:26small joys, eating what you love,
16:28drinking what you love, going where you
16:31love. There you love everywhere, yes,
16:34the word love will be everywhere in the
16:36description. Not philosophical, but
16:38precisely this again, this internal
16:40thing, yes, it seems to be abstract.
16:42And we return to the beginning, what I
16:44was talking about. What you will love
16:46does not depend on you. You can only
16:48understand this.
16:50To everyone who is afraid to hear our
16:53dialogue now, the reason I am here is
16:55simply because it is very cool. A
16:58person is often afraid to sign up for
17:00this, because it seems to remove the
17:03agency of his life. And you must accept
17:07that your nervous system, including
17:10hormonal and so on, that it,
17:13unfortunately, rules. And you do not
17:16agent of your life. And your
17:18subjectivity, which we've been told for
17:23a long time, about freedom of choice
17:25and all the other elements that happen,
17:27that here too there is a risk of
17:29slipping into the theory of
17:31predetermination, that in general we
17:33live in a world of determinism.
17:35No, that's not true. And so, because,
17:38look, the fact that you will fall in
17:40love, yes, this, of course, is very
17:42upsetting. That same pride, yes, it
17:45really hurts. And what you will fall in
17:48love with really does not depend on you
17:51. You can accept the choice with your
17:53so-called consciousness, which receives
17:56information from the same nervous
17:59system, and is also it, but it is just
18:02a very limited number of neurons. You
18:04make a decision, I will not be happy.
18:06Well, by and large, that's it. Well,
18:08your choice. The future is not
18:11predetermined, the competencies in
18:13which you will 100%be the most awesome
18:15are predetermined. Yeah. In your place
18:25and you fail completely, live an
18:27unhappy life, end psychosomatics,
18:29depression, and so on,
18:30of course. And what's more, it's
18:32impossible to be cool at something you
18:34don't love, because the one who's cool
18:36will still be the one who loves it. In
18:38the same market, there are those who
18:40are crazy about this process and those
18:41who aren't. You'll lose, because you'll
18:43never understand how they build the
18:45competitive struggle, what thoughts
18:47come to them, because your nervous
18:48system begins to entertain you. That is
18:50, let's say, for example, if I was born
18:52and I like music, it develops. I start
18:54to bang on and bang on something as a
18:56child. What happens next? And then
18:59about me and my nervous system, another
19:02person won't feel it. And I'm harmony,
19:04I don't know the word for it, but I
19:06understand a few notes sounds cool, and
19:08that makes me feel good. I start moving
19:10in this direction, and then I listen to
19:13some cool music, and then an idea is
19:15born in my nervous system alone. But I
19:17can do it something else, something
19:18that has never been there. Or, rather,
19:20I don’t like the sound in this melody
19:22. This is how it starts to work if
19:24you’ve found your calling. Let me
19:25change this, or you can change it
19:27completely. And you’re enjoying
19:28yourself, and then you go to college
19:30and so on, but at the same time you
19:32become a composer, you compose music,
19:35you need that kind of light. You need
19:37to have some kind of music playing in
19:40the background, I don’t know, and
19:42everyone has this, but you don’t even
19:44control it. And this affects the final
19:46product. And then this music plays in
19:49some pub, where a writer comes, yes,
19:51who needs this music, who is also
19:53engaged in his calling and is not born
19:55without it. I mean, it’s unclear
19:58where this leads. These puzzles come
20:01together themselves from unknown things
20:03. But if you start listening to
20:04yourself and flowing with it, that is,
20:06I don’t understand why I need this,
20:07but I need it. If I flow this in my
20:09nervous The system is so creative, that
20:12is, exploring yourself, where it will
20:14lead you, it enjoys you along with you.
20:16That is, in fact, you eat it. Damn, was
20:18it possible like this? Let's try it
20:20this way. Let's do it. It's a very
20:21interesting life when you go after
20:23these things, and you think not about
20:25the result, oddly enough, but about the
20:28process. That is, to understand whether
20:30I like it or not, returning to the fact
20:31that I like it or not, immerse myself
20:33in the process. This is exactly what
20:35concerns children. The most important
20:37skill is not to finish everything, but
20:38to abandon as quickly as possible what
20:40you don't like. Immersing yourself in
20:42the process, you enjoy it, let's go
20:44watch it. And if you don't enjoy it,
20:46that's the answer, you can't change it.
20:49And willpower and self-discipline are
20:50generally the greatest evil, because it
20:52means breaking yourself over your knee.
20:54A person who has found their calling
20:55does not need willpower. They need the
20:57willpower not to do this. I
20:59completely agree with this. Now I'm
21:01absolutely sure that by the time
21:03they're watching us, someone will
21:06probably say: "Guys, I completely agree
21:09. It's all true, there's a nuance. I
21:13caught myself living with someone I
21:15don't love, doing something I don't
21:18love, eating food I don't like, and so
21:22on. What should I do?
21:23Figure it out?
21:24How? Well,
21:26where do I start?
21:27Look, if, well,
21:29if it's about business, to hell with
21:30personal stories and food, but at least
21:32about business, because business is the
21:33biggest problem. At work, by the way,
21:36we don't pay attention to this, but I
21:38always want to point out that we spend
21:41much more time with colleagues than
21:44with our wife or husband. And when
21:47everyone says that, well, it doesn't
21:49matter where you work with whom. Well,
21:51in general, yes, but you spend more
21:54time in life even than with your
21:55parents, with those you hang out with
21:58at work.
21:58Interaction with your psyche. And I'll
22:01give you, uh, one such example now,
22:04I'll tell you about it. Well, uh, I
22:06understand, I don't really give the
22:08impression of being an athlete now, but
22:10I love running. I had an injury, that's
22:12why I really got into it. I'm really
22:15worried about it. But I love running. I
22:18run about 10 km a day. I run every
22:21single day. And it's clear that I get a
22:23thrill from it. I'm not engaged in
22:24overcoming. And so a question arises. I
22:26listen to my nervous system. I love
22:28running, but I hate getting up in the
22:30morning. And for me, what do I do? Most
22:35, uh, well, not people, but we're just
22:37taught that you have to overcome. That
22:40is, either you run in the morning, or,
22:42damn it, don't run. But for me, this is
22:45information. My nervous system told me:
22:47" Dude, no, we need to sleep. "Well,
22:49because for the body, well, I won't
22:51even go into detail, I already know. So
22:53, that's how it should be. This is
22:55information for you to think about.
22:57That is, okay, we love running, but we
22:58don't like it in the morning. That's it
23:00, creativity. I come up with ideas, I
23:02even run there, even when I still went
23:03to the office at lunchtime. Instead of
23:05lunch, I ran. And I also listen to my
23:07nervous system. It tells me:" Great
23:08idea. "So, this is information for you
23:10to think about. I change my schedule
23:13and run and sleep in the mornings and
23:15run at lunchtime, because I enjoy it.
23:17Burnout. And regarding the fact that
23:19I'm doing the wrong thing. Burnout is
23:21information. You don't have to fight it
23:23. It's happiness. This is your
23:24nervous system telling you:" We're
23:26doing something wrong, not right, or
23:27with the wrong people. "This is
23:29information that can't be changed by
23:31any bonuses, any vacations, any
23:34additional new tasks, especially
23:36coaching. Let's fight now and not give
23:39in to memories of how you have to prove
23:42to dad, that subconscious part of you,
23:44that I'm actually worth something. And
23:46this information, when you just think
23:49about it. That is, we've come to the
23:50wrong place, we've been going in the
23:52wrong direction for too long, and we're
23:53turning off the switches. You don't
23:54want anything anymore, so we're just
23:56saving ourselves. We sit down and think
23:58," This isn't it. "At the very least,
24:00just think about it, this isn't it, for
24:03sure, but these could be different, and
24:05not this. If we look into it again, if
24:08we analyze ourselves, in fact, if you
24:10work without a psychologist, in
24:11principle, you do it in writing and it
24:13turns out roughly the same. But it
24:15absolutely needs to be done in writing.
24:16Well, because you formulate your
24:18thoughts, they formulate you. When you
24:20don't formulate them, you think in
24:21fragments. We don't notice it, but we
24:23think in fragments. When we build logic
24:25, we begin to think: I like my work,
24:27conditionally, I like what I do, I like
24:29the process. You might suddenly realize
24:32that for some reason, it's just some
24:34colleague that's really irritating you.
24:37This happens a lot, and that's not the
24:39problem. But at least you've come to
24:42this realization, you've rationalized
24:45it, you've realized it, and you might
24:48even become indifferent to this
24:50colleague. Well, maybe that's because
24:52you've realized," Yeah, it's a problem,
24:53"but I've realized that it's not
24:55because I'm doing something that's not
24:56my thing. Or you solve the problem with
24:58this colleague, you know, you change
25:00jobs, you move, or you leave the
25:02company for another, realizing that
25:04your nervous system has told you," No,
25:06that's what we're doing. "But the
25:08important thing is that it's a process.
25:09That is, if you're in the process of
25:11feeling like you're in a bad place, you
25:13just need to analyze why. You can
25:15analyze it in writing, you can go to
25:17that same psychologist, but not to
25:20endlessly return to childhood. It's
25:22clear that everything is formed in
25:23childhood. I understand that childhood
25:25needs to be analyzed, but there are
25:27also ongoing processes. In these
25:29ongoing processes, you need to
25:30understand what specifically irritates
25:32you and adjust accordingly. You just
25:34sit down, do some writing practice,
25:36that is, essentially making a fact map
25:38for yourself, based on what you...No,
25:40not a fact
25:41map, no, no, in a stream.
25:43Stream of consciousness,
25:44oh how I'm fed up with all this. I
25:47don't understand anything about myself.
25:48I don't structure anything at all. I
25:50follow the text. We
25:52distill ourselves there. Well, there is
25:54such a possibility, if we're talking
25:55about, let's say, independent history.
25:57That is, this kind of written
25:58reflection, with the fact that written
26:00reflection is simply a must, and it can
26:02really be useful. By the way, I have, I
26:04even developed several exercises,
26:06literally five of them, through which
26:08people can really and independently
26:10find the same calling. I'll give you a
26:12rough idea now. So, first, you write a
26:15long text about your current state of
26:17life, how you feel. Because it's
26:20important to come to feelings, not
26:21rational things. You're happy, you're
26:24unhappy, because we achieve a lot. And
26:27then, in fact, the hardest part is when
26:29you seem successful and finally realize
26:31that money doesn't make you happy,
26:33because the nervous system doesn't
26:35think in terms of money; it thinks in
26:37terms of security. Money is part of
26:39this security issue. Very important. By
26:42the way, the answer to the question of
26:44why all these experiments with
26:46something that really does decline
26:48dramatically after a certain level of
26:50wealth—well, the depth of
26:52satisfaction, I'll say tactfully—that
26:55is, the level of happiness, yes, that's
26:57it, security is already closed there—
26:59it's even safer than a secure home,
27:02good healthcare, and so on—is already
27:04a zero-level polishing of what happens
27:06in your life within the security loop.
27:09Even safer. That is, well, and from a
27:11hydonic perspective, it's also very
27:14difficult to be overly satisfied if
27:16there's no, uh, meaningful story,
27:18because we have a basic configuration.
27:21We have a basic configuration for our
27:23species.
27:23Many people watch us with tuning, I
27:26mean,
27:26excuse me, I couldn't resist. I was
27:28trying to make at least some kind of
27:29joke.
27:29Look, well, the peculiarity of our
27:31species is that we have, yes, a basic
27:34configuration. The basic configuration
27:36consists of several factors, which
27:37we'll cite. Our nervous system can't do
27:40nothing. It's a given for the species.
27:42That is, again, going back to dogs and
27:45cats, or lions and so on, they can, but
27:48we can't. An insane number, an insane
27:50number of experiments have been
27:52conducted. And it's not so easy to test
27:54your psyche before a space flight
27:57whether you can handle being in some
27:59space doing nothing. They were given a
28:01task, so it's better to come up with a
28:03task for them—they'll come up with a
28:05task, because the psyche goes crazy.
28:07She thinks she's missing out on
28:09something. That is, her job is security
28:11. Yeah, that's
28:12me on the weekends. Sorry for
28:13interrupting. I just go crazy on the
28:15weekends if I leave myself a day where
28:17I don't do anything. That is, in the
28:19middle of the day,
28:20it's simply impossible for me. It's the
28:23unconscious that gets us off the couch.
28:25People say," If I were allowed to do
28:27whatever I wanted, I'd lie on the couch
28:29for days. "And not everyone would do
28:31that. It's the psyche that gets you off
28:32the couch. It's the psyche that gets
28:33you off the couch. It's going crazy
28:34because, damn, we're missing something,
28:37yes, we're missing something, it's not
28:39capable of it. So there's no need to
28:42worry about not doing anything. When
28:44you're not doing anything, first of all
28:45, you're nervous. And that's also
28:47information that you're doing the wrong
28:48thing. It's trying to crush you:" Stop.
28:51"It's not thinking about what's best
28:52for you to do. When you're feeling lazy
28:55and so on, it pins you to the couch,
28:57trying to stop you. You don't do
28:58anything, and you don't do anything.
29:00But it won't let you sit on the couch.
29:03That's a characteristic of our species.
29:05And the second characteristic of our
29:07species is sociality. That is, we are
29:10also hardwired for this, it's
29:12impossible to get away from it. We will
29:14do everything. Conscience, by the way,
29:16is also morality—it's also a nervous
29:18system. This isn't upbringing, because
29:21it's basic: we want to socialize.
29:25There's no such thing, really; it's,
29:26well, let's say, a rigid introvert. An
29:28introvert is a psyche that has learned
29:31to adapt to the conditions of being
29:33offended. Well, that is, once you were
29:34rejected and you have an adaptive
29:36psyche, you came up with some
29:37entertainment for yourself and, to
29:39avoid getting into trouble, I'm saying
29:40this, of course, not in a classical
29:42sense, you
29:42don't stick your neck out too much.
29:43That's it. But if the most favorite, I
29:46often say, the most favorite movie of
29:49introverts is" Friends. "That is, no
29:51one would give up good friends, a good
29:52wife, a good family—precisely good
29:54ones, that is, when there's love,
29:55everything, and so on. But they simply
29:57don't believe it's possible. The psyche
29:59is adaptive, but it can't adapt to
30:01extroverts. This is also a property of
30:02the psyche. And all these things, they
30:05actually balance everything, they
30:07control everything. We can't do nothing
30:09; we will always do something. And when
30:12we reach a certain level of security,
30:15the psyche still comes. And then what
30:18to do? That is, you have this feeling
30:20of lack of self-realization. And then
30:22the exercises, you said there were five
30:24exercises, and that's exactly where we
30:26started: one of the exercises—
30:28well, we first describe one of the
30:30exercises, and the goal is to first
30:32immerse yourself in feelings. And we
30:34describe my feelings about my life, not
30:37the facts of what I've achieved, but
30:40how I feel about it. Well, I mean,
30:42again, we'll get there, I have a ton of
30:44money, everything's fine, my wife's
30:45beautiful, damn, but I feel like I'm
30:47not living my life, right? Well, I mean
30:49, something else is going on. You
30:52analyze all this, preferably for a long
30:54time, I don't know, write at least a
30:56dozen sheets of paper to come to a
30:58clear sense. You'll start having
31:00thoughts about why this is happening
31:02and so on. And then the next task is,
31:04once you've sorted out your feelings,
31:07what do you do in your free time? I
31:09mean, how, where do you go, what
31:11activities do you engage in when you're
31:14doing nothing, when you shouldn't do
31:16anything, when you don't owe anyone
31:18anything and no one is standing over
31:20you without any threats to your
31:22conscience. Our psyche saves you from
31:25doing stupid things by taking you to
31:28non-stupid things, to basic levels.
31:31Yeah. I
31:32mean, even when you go fishing, there's
31:35something meaningful in it. You go
31:37fishing, not running, while some people
31:39run when they'd rather do nothing else,
31:41while others read books, and others
31:43write. This is already, that is, this
31:45is already a manifestation of those
31:47very competencies. We seek relief for
31:50our nervous system there. Or if we're
31:53doing something we do, we don't stop
31:55doing it. That is, when work merges
31:57with rest, and I have such clients,
32:00when, uh, a businessman comes and says:
32:02" My wife tells me: "I'm resting
32:04incorrectly." She says: "I don't know
32:06how to rest." And then we sort it out.
32:08He is doing his calling. Well, that is,
32:10conditionally, he does not have these
32:12divisions. He gets a thrill from it.
32:14And you need to talk to your wife so
32:15that she accepts it. He gets a thrill
32:16from the process. Well, when he
32:18realized this, he understands how to
32:19separate them. Well, that is, yes, I
32:21understood everything with myself, but
32:23I will devote separate time to my wife.
32:24And this will be precisely the
32:26conditional work. Here you are, your
32:27psyche leads you on a subconscious
32:29level to something that you have
32:31already decided, that you realized that
32:33you like it. It's not so simple that
32:35you like it. She knows her competencies
32:37there, they can be completely different
32:40. That is, in fishing, this does not
32:41mean that you are called to fish. There
32:43are many factors, perhaps.
32:44No, it seems to me that in fishing in
32:45general for To others. What kind of
32:47fish?
32:48I don't even think of it.
32:49Fish is a completely secondary story,
32:51connected to fishing. By the way, this
32:53is very common, in fact, and this
32:56situation happens when you realize that
32:59you're talking to a person, starting
33:01from childhood. Well, I hung out with
33:03friends, it seemed like nothing
33:05important, but at university, well,
33:06what did I do in my free time? Well, I
33:08hung out with friends and always with
33:10friends, with friends, with friends.
33:11And naturally, the thought creeps in
33:14that being among friends is a mental
33:17impulse. That is, yes, I hang out there
33:19, we have fun, I'm an opinion leader
33:21there, or I'm having fun there, and so
33:23on. There may be competence there. And
33:25from this, in fact, people become
33:27famous bloggers, by the way, doing
33:30business and suddenly become bloggers
33:32because they organize various parties
33:35and so on. It's in their blood. That is
33:37, it's a calling. That is, by and large
33:39, what is a calling-it's doing what you
33:41love. And So you're competent there
33:43because it comes from within. Your
33:46creativity works differently than
33:47everyone else's, not the way you were
33:49taught. And this makes an impression
33:51because it becomes sincere. And so keep
33:54doing what you were doing, entertaining
33:57people, uh, informing or meeting with
33:59some guests, and you'll definitely have
34:02a blast. You yourself will enjoy the
34:05process, and people will see that it
34:06all comes from a place of pleasure. And
34:09so these stories, where the person goes
34:12, this is information, you can also dig
34:15into it. That is, in principle, there
34:17are such examples. Well, for example,
34:19again, uh, the person can't get to the
34:21bottom of anything. For a long, long
34:23time we sorted it out with him, I
34:24didn't do anything...I'm just lying on
34:26the couch. I say: "A person can't just
34:27lie on the couch." He
34:28can't. He's
34:29thinking about something. And each
34:31person thinks about something different
34:32. When reflections are over, they still
34:34lead you somewhere. We, if you analyze,
34:37all The movies we love are all the same
34:39. There's always one thing there. This
34:42one thing, it also has to do with some
34:44core idea of yours. What does your
34:46nervous system focus on? About love. Ah
34:48, I'm lying there, nothing, I don't
34:50really want to, I'm not doing anything,
34:52and so on. Well, what's up, what are
34:54you thinking about? And someone comes
34:56along and starts ra, well, I'm just
34:58looking at the TV and thinking, it's
35:00cool that I finally got those craftsmen
35:03to raise it by 3 mm. This is an
35:05important thought, an important idea.
35:07Also, I actually realized that I have a
35:09side panel, there's only one, I don't
35:11understand why I make standard side
35:13panels. And so I made a different side
35:15panel, one that's more comfortable for
35:17me to lie under.
35:17Yeah. We're
35:18starting to dig into that, of course.
35:20Yes, the person is a furniture designer
35:22, regardless of the fact that, in
35:24principle, he certainly had the means
35:25to open a studio and manufacture, but
35:27one way or another, it just never
35:29occurred to him. But his nervous system
35:31is there. She's having fun, that's
35:33where she's killing time and she's
35:35happy there. You have to cling to that.
35:37Then it's the spin-up, it doesn't
35:38necessarily lead there, it can lead
35:40anywhere, but it's important. Where you
35:42feel good, your nervous system starts
35:45to get creative, where it feels good,
35:47which is what we love. And when you
35:49start to flow something to it, it
35:51starts to come up with: "Ah, oh, let's
35:52do this too, let's do that too." And
35:54you start to enjoy it and sincerely
35:56apply yourself to this matter.
35:57Now I understand this very well in the
35:59difference, including people. I'm the
36:01kind of person who falls asleep when I
36:03see Excel. That is, the worst thing
36:06that can happen to me is to open a huge
36:09spreadsheet and say: "Well, look, this
36:12is so interesting." That is, that's it,
36:14I switch off completely. And I've met
36:17people who are natural financiers, uh,
36:19who are into this, who I once just saw
36:22such a working person who was reading,
36:25that is, he had a whole world there, he
36:28had it at that moment, and in his hand
36:30It happened, it was on a plane. And
36:33it's not nice, of course, to admit it,
36:35but I was spying on the behavior of a
36:37man who took out a big laptop. He had
36:40an Excel spreadsheet open, he had, well
36:43, something for meditation, like an
36:45Expender, in his hand, well, a more
36:48modern thing. And he probably stared at
36:51it for several hours without blinking,
36:54as if it were a whole world. And I,
36:58that is, I look up and I feel sick. I,
37:02yes, from his spreadsheet, I don't even
37:03understand the essence of it and so on.
37:05That is, it immediately affects me,
37:07just like something magical for falling
37:09asleep. And you can see from him that
37:12he has an energy supply coming from
37:14there and there is a whole universe,
37:17worlds, high, pleasure, energy. That is
37:20, everything is there at once. And
37:22because you can't imitate it by the
37:24sparkle in the eyes that gives a person
37:26away at that moment. That is, because
37:28he didn't look: "Oh, your mother!" Well
37:30, yes, let's see, colleagues. "No, the
37:33way the eyes sparkle at that moment and
37:36how a person gets genuine pleasure,
37:38energy, joy and everything, absolutely,
37:40you will never play. And I am the one
37:42who will play badly. I swear to you,
37:44that is, I just put an Excel
37:46spreadsheet in front of me, and I will
37:48die right there, well, looking at it.
37:49I also wanted to give an example here
37:51on this matter, because, well, when we
37:53talk about calling, it is not
37:54necessarily user. By the way, with
37:56running, I also started running 700
37:58times in my life and realized that this
38:01is the most disgusting activity and the
38:04most disgusting sport possible for me.
38:07That is, because I simply find it
38:09boring, it is unpleasant, the body
38:11signals, the body actually signals this
38:14moment, you know, a failure of all
38:16systems. It says:" Why? Something, that
38:20is, all the lights turn red, like a
38:21Christmas tree, the garlands, at this
38:23moment they give out something. But
38:25I've met people who say, "I can't live
38:28without it, I can't live without it, so
38:30I run to slow music."
38:32And to slow music,
38:33yes. Because, yes. Well, and now I'll
38:37give you another example, by the way,
38:39about willpower. And there are, well,
38:41we have such prejudices too. And I was
38:44talking to one Ironman, ah, who, yes,
38:47discipline, willpower, and so on. I run
38:51, I have this habit, I've been running
38:53for 15 years, uh, I run, I jump, I'm
38:55fine, everyone should do it, and my
38:57children should do it too, and so on.
38:59And we talk to him: "Listen, why run?
39:01Why don't you just use your own
39:02willpower to climb up the fifteenth
39:04floor 10 times every morning." Well,
39:05just instead of running. Why?
39:08Well, that's not it,
39:09because, damn, willpower has nothing to
39:11do with it. And this is the very
39:16motivation you're talking about. But at
39:18the same time, you're relaying to
39:20others with a different mentality that
39:22this is how it should be done. And
39:24that's not willpower. It's very
39:26important to understand that we all
39:27call this willpower. It's actually that
39:29same notorious motivation. And in fact,
39:31discipline is also motivation. As a
39:33rule, discipline is instilled, even if
39:36we don't take on specific professions,
39:38very often because it's necessary. My
39:41motivation is because my dad once told
39:43me: "You can't be weak." Well, I'm
39:45exaggerating, but nevertheless, it's
39:47motivation so that the person who once
39:49told you, you want to be like them, and
39:51you subconsciously want them to think
39:53that I'm worthy. That's also motivation
39:54. It's not discipline. You're afraid of
39:56screwing up.
39:57Yeah.
39:58So, when we talk about running, for
39:59example, it's information. If I
40:01categorically don't want to run, but
40:03for some reason I still want to play
40:05sports, I want to play sports, well,
40:07that's just information. Think of
40:09something else. And you'll find, if you
40:12really want to play sports, you'll
40:14definitely find some kind of sport,
40:16starting with throwing snow in the
40:18winter. That's a sport too.
40:20And you, it's really cool,
40:22and your nervous system will respond.
40:24Damn, that's super, by the way, that's
40:26a great idea.
40:26I love throwing snow, by the way.
40:28I know that many people say this: "How
40:31can you love this? I like the process
40:33of clearing, and the process, that is,
40:35everything, and to me it seems like a
40:37genuine thrill. I even remember as a
40:40child how they made me there, just uh,
40:42well, a garage there, yes, my dad had
40:44one. And so it was necessary to clear
40:46the snow from the garage, I cleared it
40:47from ours from the neighbors. You
40:49can always.
40:51This is also a cool story. Somewhere I
40:54read in the news, uh, a guy got up in
40:58the
40:58snow, yes, money like him, yes, he
41:00cleaned cars, clearing cars, yes, and
41:03that he took time off from work. Yes,
41:05yes, and actually, he played sports and
41:07earned money. So this is how that very
41:09nervous system works. It gives you
41:11these ideas. They are impossible to
41:13invent. So when we sit down, let's come
41:15up with a repositioning. It is
41:16impossible to invent. We must come to
41:18it.
41:18That is, the first thing, I just want
41:20to understand. You immerse a person in
41:23the feelings that characterize his life
41:25.
41:25This is if we We're talking about tests
41:27. When I work separately, it's all
41:29different.
41:30Yes, separately, I understand. Well,
41:32that is, immersion in feelings, so that
41:34even now the person watching us, he
41:35said that he gave an objective
41:37assessment of his life, not his own
41:39life, and what it is like in terms of
41:41the fullness of sensory experience.
41:42What else can you do at home safely for
41:45yourself? That's in order to understand
41:47.
41:47Well, look, the most important thing is
41:50, uh, one of the ancient modalities,
41:52which, of course, is not very used, but
41:55nevertheless, it, as a whole, says good
41:58things. Behaviorists who analyze
42:01actions. That is, once again,
42:03photos of the work day.
42:04No, no, no,
42:05I thought, that's it, we'll do it now.
42:07No, no, no, no, none of this is
42:09completely irrelevant. I don't work
42:11with people so that they write
42:12something. I write.
42:13And we analyze what we do when we don't
42:17have to do anything. Actions,
42:20yes,
42:21we analyze actions. I do it. It's a
42:23meaningless thing. I'm picking at
42:25Noclaw, I have something else. Analyze
42:27all actions. That is, these actions
42:29have a certain meaning to something.
42:31Your nervous system, it does only one
42:33thing. By creating a desire based on
42:36information, it makes you do something
42:39or not do something. And what it makes
42:42you do is that very motive. It’s not
42:45so easy, of course, to connect all this
42:47. And it is necessary to analyze,
42:49preferably from childhood to the
42:51present day. What am I doing?
42:53What if it’s a habit?
42:55We need to analyze.
42:56Yeah.
42:56A habit is not a habit. And look what
42:58we are actually doing. We produce these
43:01, now this will sound quite pathetic,
43:04but nevertheless, it’s hard to find
43:06the words. We produce happiness for
43:08ourselves,
43:09right?
43:09Little moments of happiness. We forge.
43:12We forge. No, not for the future, right
43:14? But we forge. So how can I make
43:16myself feel good now? This, of course,
43:18is not about substances and alcohol,
43:20because this is no longer you,
43:21right?
43:22But precisely what is called, on I
43:23demand, I produce for myself, well, at
43:25least a little bit, so that I feel
43:26better. And this something better is a
43:29production process. That is, you are
43:32engaged in the production of emotion,
43:35and this is a product. That is, if you
43:37actually produce these emotions,
43:39analyze how you produce them and what
43:42kind of emotions they are. What kind of
43:44emotions are you creating and what kind
43:45of production process is this. If you
43:47analyze it, and then I ask, if, well,
43:50more precisely, this is within the
43:52framework of a test, this is not within
43:54the framework of how I work, and if in
43:56independent mode, analyze and now try
43:59to tell it to someone so that I
44:01understand, this is a cool thing. That
44:03is, I find it cool to pick my nails
44:05there, because it creates the same
44:07these very emotions. Or there, I
44:09don’t know, I walk down the street,
44:11look to the left, I like it, like birds
44:13, I calm down. Describe it in detail,
44:15sell me what is called, this the idea
44:17that this is a cool process. Now think
44:20about how to do it silently. This is if
44:24we're talking about tests, or rather,
44:27about these tasks. Now think about how
44:29you can silently do something for
44:31someone else, so that they feel the
44:33same way. Accordingly, this is a task.
44:36If you know your production process, if
44:39you know what it really gives you, do
44:41it. Well, let's say, walk around, take
44:43someone's hand and show them where
44:45you're walking. If we're talking about
44:46the target audience, the target
44:48audience is you, it's the product.
44:50If we're drawing some kind of
44:52intermediate conclusion, because we can
44:54talk about this for a very long time.
44:57This is the main advice to all people
44:59who now, God forbid, realize that
45:00they're living in the wrong place,
45:02practitioners heard it there in the
45:04context of writing, in the context of
45:06making some kind of assessment of their
45:08day, tracking their actions, including
45:10because it's extremely interesting, and
45:12you're absolutely right. Our psyche
45:14doesn't communicate with us through
45:16thoughts. Our thoughts can be Different
45:18. It's like that tired old saying among
45:20marketers about why it's pointless to
45:21conduct your own audience analysis.
45:23Because if you're smart, you can
45:25convince yourself that if you're a fool
45:26, it won't help you. That is, many
45:28people are confused by this, but that's
45:31how it is. That is, in your thoughts,
45:33you can convince yourself of anything,
45:35but not in your actions, because the
45:38body doesn't lie, actions don't lie,
45:40and so on. But is there anything else
45:42you could recommend to everyone
45:43watching us now, besides something to
45:45pay attention to? And I want to support
45:49your project and you in general, but is
45:51there anything else people could pay
45:54attention to?
45:54Well, I'm not really saying anything
45:56that big here from what I've said. Well
45:59, there's simply the most fundamental
46:00thing,
46:01which, well, it's written in nerfed
46:03textbooks.
46:04The most important thing is feelings—
46:06that's the work of the intellect.
46:07Ignoring feelings is ignoring your own
46:09intellect. That is, you need to listen
46:11to what you feelings speak. Even if you
46:13haven't realized what they're telling
46:16you, they're rational. You can, of
46:18course, trust them, but you're just
46:21listening, I feel like it's a cool
46:24offer or a cool deal, but something
46:28internal. This inner voice is not an
46:30internal voice. It's all done by one
46:31organ: the soul, the voice of the soul,
46:33the voice of the heart, the inner voice
46:35, the voice of the mind. It all happens
46:37in the brain. And dividing it into
46:39reptilian and non-reptilian is only
46:40conditional, because, well, scientists
46:42have long proven that no, well, yes,
46:44the frontal lobe analyzes, no
46:45way, everything is involved.
46:47Yes.
46:47And if your inner voice tells you:" You
46:50shouldn't do this, "it means your
46:52nervous system has life experience. For
46:55some reason, if it didn't have or
46:57didn't have an opinion, it would also
46:58give you an opinion. I don't have
47:00feelings. Not enough information is, by
47:02the way, information. There is no
47:03solution, go and look for it. That is,
47:05if it says:" No, you don't need to make
47:07a decision, at least in defiance,
47:09although "Think about it," because it's
47:11not just like that. Don't think in
47:13categories, that's weakness, like, "I'm
47:15a risk-taker," and so on. Because your
47:18feelings will bring you back; they tell
47:21you information. If you feel you
47:23shouldn't, or you feel you should, and
47:25it's like, well, what does that have to
47:27do with anything? 100%of it.
47:31Thank you so much for this wonderful
47:32conversation. Pay attention to your
47:34feelings. Thank you. Thank you.
47:36Thank you.
47:37Please like this video, leave a comment
47:40, and subscribe to the channel.

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