26 truths I learned the HARD way (so you don't have to) — Transcript

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1. 0:00Nobody is thinking about you as much as
2. 0:02you think they are. Sometimes, they're
3. 0:03just not that into you. If you're so
4. 0:04smart, you live for yourself. You either
5. 0:06lose the fear or lose the opportunity.
6. 0:08Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. They
7. 0:11are not your friend.
8. 0:13Welcome back to my channel. I am turning
9. 0:1526, so I decided to write down 26 things
10. 0:18I learned. I really, really, truly,
11. 0:20truly wished someone told me these
12. 0:23things when I was a little bit younger.
13. 0:24All right, let's get started. Number
14. 0:26one, being alone is a skill, not a
15. 0:29punishment. I used to be very, very
16. 0:30embarrassed when I don't have anyone to
17. 0:32hang out with, when I don't have a
18. 0:34boyfriend, when everyone else is dating.
19. 0:36I don't understand why, but throughout
20. 0:38the process, I became so much stronger
21. 0:41mentally. I started to realize that I
22. 0:43can enjoy my own company. The more you
23. 0:45enjoy your own company, the better you
24. 0:47become in a relationship. And if you're
25. 0:49feeling lonely right now, this is the
26. 0:51greatest gift that you can be given.
27. 0:53Number two, people can only meet you as
28. 0:56deeply as they've met themselves. As I
29. 0:58grow older, I realize that everyone's
30. 0:59trying to figure their own life out
31. 1:01anyways, so you shouldn't take someone
32. 1:03else's limitation personally. Number
33. 1:05three, you don't realize how important
34. 1:07your health is until you're sick. All
35. 1:09these days where you can wake up with
36. 1:11energy, all these days where you can
37. 1:12physically move your body, have been
38. 1:14taken for granted. Also, don't take your
39. 1:16health for granted. Your 20s is for
40. 1:18collecting experiences, not for proving
41. 1:20that you have it all figured out. On the
42. 1:22internet, you see all these people
43. 1:23making millions of dollars as a
44. 1:2521-year-old. And for so many years,
45. 1:27especially living in New York, it makes
46. 1:29me feel so inferior compared to my
47. 1:32peers. And now, I realize that you have
48. 1:35time. You are young. I think your 20s is
49. 1:38actually just for you to trial and
50. 1:40error, and to experience a life that you
51. 1:42only get to live once. Number five, the
52. 1:44real test of intelligence is whether you
53. 1:46get what you want out of life. How smart
54. 1:48are you if you're torturing yourself
55. 1:50towards a goal that you don't care
56. 1:52about? You're not living for anyone
57. 1:53else. If you're so smart, you live for
58. 1:55yourself. Number six, forgive yourself
59. 1:57for not knowing what only time could
60. 1:59tell. Why did I move here? Why did I go
61. 2:01to this school? Why did I take this
62. 2:03path? The person that I was at that
63. 2:05point, that's the best thing that I
64. 2:07could have known it. Number seven, the
65. 2:08only truly wasted time [music] is time
66. 2:11you wish you were somewhere else. If
67. 2:12you're at a party and you actually want
68. 2:14to be home, that time is wasted. You
69. 2:16either lean into it and try to make the
70. 2:19most out of your college experience or
71. 2:21you drop out and do something better
72. 2:23because that in between phase is really
73. 2:25really really going to waste your time
74. 2:26and your energy. Number eight, if your
75. 2:28friends make fun of what you're
76. 2:29passionate about, they are not your
77. 2:32friends. It's worse when your close
78. 2:34friends are the ones who are sending you
79. 2:35videos to each other and critiquing it.
80. 2:38When they love you, when they care about
81. 2:40you, they will support what you're
82. 2:41passionate about instead of just joking
83. 2:43about or making fun of it. Number
84. 2:45[music] nine, you become decisive by
85. 2:47making decisions, not by waiting to feel
86. 2:49certain. I hate making the wrong
87. 2:51decision. I want to optimize everything,
88. 2:53but in turn I realized that I just never
89. 2:56make any decisions [music] and because I
90. 2:57don't make decisions, I become worse at
91. 2:59making decisions, but you can only gain
92. 3:01that feeling by making more decisions
93. 3:03and feeling more confident in yourself.
94. 3:05Number 10, don't ever waste your time
95. 3:07decoding someone else's text. Sometimes
96. 3:10they're just not that into you. It's
97. 3:11very embarrassing to admit, but I have
98. 3:13been in situationships where I have to
99. 3:15decode how they feel about. If you
100. 3:16haven't watched this movie yet, you
101. 3:18should. It's called He's Not That Into
102. 3:20You. It's not supposed to be that deep.
103. 3:22Number 11, the best way to build
104. 3:24confidence is to keep the promises you
105. 3:26make to yourself. I told myself I'm
106. 3:28going to do an hour of homework and I
107. 3:30did it. The more you show up for
108. 3:31yourself, the more you keep your own
109. 3:32promises, the more confident you become
110. 3:35as a person. Number 12, don't snooze the
111. 3:37alarm on the life that you said you
112. 3:39wanted. I need to start content, but not
113. 3:41yet, you know, I'm busy. Not yet, um the
114. 3:44weather is bad. Not yet, I'm in this
115. 3:46apartment. I'll do it when I leave. And
116. 3:48the more you postpone it, the less
117. 3:49confident you are in yourself. Number
118. 3:5113, it's not a lack of time, it's a lack
119. 3:53of priority. We all give the same 24
120. 3:56hours in a day. I used to be a big
121. 3:58people pleaser, so I can stay at a
122. 4:00hangout for four, five, six hours on end
123. 4:03and go home and feel like, "Oh my god,
124. 4:05why do I have no time? I'm such a busy
125. 4:07person." No, you could just stay there
126. 4:09for 3 hours, go home and work for 2 more
127. 4:11hours. Number 14, not wanting something
128. 4:14is as good as having it. This is
129. 4:16something I learned from my sister
130. 4:17because she's already married and she
131. 4:19has two kids. She doesn't really care
132. 4:20about a life in a big city, something
133. 4:22crazy. Her priority is her kids, her
134. 4:25family. I ask myself like, "Is this
135. 4:27really, really something that I want it
136. 4:29or I just want it because everyone else
137. 4:30have it?" Because if I don't want it,
138. 4:32then I basically have Number 15, you
139. 4:35either lose the fear or lose the
140. 4:36opportunity. You have to act first and
141. 4:38then the fear will get smaller. The
142. 4:40people who get the most out of life are
143. 4:42the people that are less afraid. Number
144. 4:4316, if it hurts to stay and it hurts to
145. 4:46go, go because there's change on the
146. 4:48other end. Ending something can yield to
147. 4:50like a whole new start of your life, so
148. 4:53always, always go for change. Number 17,
149. 4:56you can miss someone and still know that
150. 4:58they're not good for you. Sometimes that
151. 5:00means a friendship breakup that you had,
152. 5:02you miss the experiences and the
153. 5:03memories you had with them, but you know
154. 5:05that when you guys are together it's
155. 5:06toxic. And same with relationships,
156. 5:08you're always going to have that feeling
157. 5:10of, "Oh, like last time I was there with
158. 5:12this person." But that doesn't mean you
159. 5:13have to call them and tell them you miss
160. 5:15them. It's okay to have certain feelings
161. 5:17and just leave it there. Number 18,
162. 5:18taking care of yourself is taking care
163. 5:20of your ambition, too. A very close
164. 5:22friend told me this, but when he was
165. 5:24younger, he really wanted to make it and
166. 5:26he really wanted to put the foot down on
167. 5:28the accelerator to make everything grow
168. 5:30so much faster. And because of that, he
169. 5:33burnt out very quickly because slow is
170. 5:35smooth and smooth is fast. Doing it slow
171. 5:38and steady at a pace that you can handle
172. 5:40is more important than putting your foot
173. 5:42on the accelerator. Number 19, drink
174. 5:44water before you drown yourself in
175. 5:46coffee. Throughout my four years of
176. 5:48college, I would wake up and take a shot
177. 5:50of espresso. I'm not even kidding. I
178. 5:51used to think it wakes me up and
179. 5:53whatnot, but actually it made me so much
180. 5:55more anxious and I also became more
181. 5:57dehydrated throughout the day. And I
182. 5:58think metaphorically this also goes with
183. 6:00the taking care of yourself thing. You
184. 6:02feel like coffee is the metaphor for
185. 6:05ambitious and productivity and getting
186. 6:07things done, but you have to take care
187. 6:08of your body first. You have to nourish
188. 6:10it first. [music] You have to make sure
189. 6:11you wake up naturally first. Number 20,
190. 6:14your life can only get as good as your
191. 6:16mindset can. You can live the exact same
192. 6:18life as someone else or you can have the
193. 6:20dream life of another person, but you
194. 6:22won't be content because you're
195. 6:24constantly comparing yourself to another
196. 6:26person with a better life. It's all
197. 6:28about your mindset and your perspective.
198. 6:30Number 21, nobody is thinking about you
199. 6:32as much as you think they are. This is
200. 6:34also called the spotlight effect. When
201. 6:36you walk into a room and you trip, you
202. 6:38think everyone is thinking about you.
203. 6:40Everybody is looking at you. People are
204. 6:42going to go home and tell their friends
205. 6:43and make fun of you. It's not that deep.
206. 6:45Even if you do the craziest thing, no
207. 6:47one's going to remember it for more than
208. 6:4824 hours. I used to be insecure about my
209. 6:50view counts, but no one looks at it
210. 6:52except for myself. No one refreshes my
211. 6:54page and my engagement more than I do.
212. 6:56Number 22, the only way to escape
213. 6:59competition is through authenticity.
214. 7:01There's always going to be someone
215. 7:03smarter. There's always going to be
216. 7:04someone prettier. There's always going
217. 7:06to be someone funnier. There's always
218. 7:07going to be someone just cooler than
219. 7:09you, but who cares? So, the only way to
220. 7:12really compete is to be yourself because
221. 7:15you're the only person. You're the only
222. 7:16version of yourself that's out there.
223. 7:18Number 23, finding your signature style
224. 7:21will make you more productive. A lot of
225. 7:23people think dressing up is very
226. 7:24superficial, but it's actually like a
227. 7:26uniform and a characterization of who
228. 7:28you are as a person. And the quicker and
229. 7:31the faster you find your personal style,
230. 7:33the easier it is for you to make a
231. 7:34decision on what to wear, what to buy,
232. 7:37and what kind of person you are. In my
233. 7:38early 20s, I wanted to be the cool girl,
234. 7:41the hot girl, the trendy girl. But the
235. 7:43moment that I realized this is my style,
236. 7:45the faster it is for me to find myself
237. 7:47and the more time I save throughout the
238. 7:49day and more money I save on clothing.
239. 7:51Number 24, direction matters more than
240. 7:54how long it takes. It's like when you're
241. 7:56running a race, you might not be the
242. 7:57first one, you might not be super fast,
243. 8:00but you have the right route, so you
244. 8:01know you're going to get there. So,
245. 8:03don't rush your life, don't compare
246. 8:04yourself to others, stay on track, stay
247. 8:06focused, stay on the right direction.
248. 8:08Number 25, proximity is power. Be around
249. 8:11people that you want to become. Your
250. 8:13environment shapes you way more than you
251. 8:15think they do. Just by knowing one
252. 8:17person who's done it can give you enough
253. 8:19strength and belief to do it yourself,
254. 8:21too. Number 26, every single goal
255. 8:24requires a sacrifice. Otherwise, you
256. 8:26will sacrifice your goal. I keep
257. 8:28thinking I can do everything and juggle
258. 8:30everything and be the jack-of-all-trades
259. 8:32and put a little bit of effort
260. 8:33everywhere without taking away my life,
261. 8:36but I realized everything starts
262. 8:37changing when I decided that, okay, I
263. 8:40want to focus on this, hence I have to
264. 8:42give up on that. And I [music] think we
265. 8:44all need like different eras and
266. 8:45different chapters, and right now it's
267. 8:47my building era. In essence of
268. 8:49everything I mentioned, stay grounded,
269. 8:51stay grateful, stay positive. Gratitude
270. 8:53is just the single one thing that could
271. 8:55push you through everything. I hope this
272. 8:57video finds you at a good time. Just not
273. 8:59trying to educate or anything, just
274. 9:00sharing my experiences.
275. 9:02>> [music]
276. 9:02>> Comment down below your favorite one or
277. 9:04the one that you resonate the most with.
278. 9:06And honestly, share some stories if
279. 9:07you're comfortable about why you
280. 9:09resonate with it or what are some other
281. 9:12lessons that you've learned
282. 9:14or any questions that you have.
283. 9:15Honestly, this is a safe space. I
284. 9:17promise you guys I'll come back on
285. 9:19YouTube more and it would be really,
286. 9:21really helpful if you can let me know
287. 9:23[music] what type of videos you guys
288. 9:24like. Yeah, thank you guys for watching
289. 9:26this video. So excited to come back on
290. 9:28YouTube. Thank you for your patience and
291. 9:29thank you for your support. I hope you
292. 9:31guys have a [music] great, great week.