25 brutally honest lessons to my insecure younger self — Transcript

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1. 0:00when I was 19 years old I've always had
2. 0:02fear fear of failing fear of ending up
3. 0:04alone and fear of being judged well
4. 0:06those same fears ended up becoming
5. 0:08lessons that shaped me into the person
6. 0:09that I am today and the life that I have
7. 0:11today I turned 25 yesterday and in honor
8. 0:14of that as your big sister who loves to
9. 0:16give you advice in this video I'm going
10. 0:17to share with you guys everything that I
11. 0:19wish that I could have told my younger
12. 0:20self it is going to be the ultimate
13. 0:22cheat sheet of life lessons that you
14. 0:24need to know to become your best self if
15. 0:26you're new here welcome my name is Lena
16. 0:27I have a self-help series here on my
17. 0:28channel where we discuss all things
18. 0:30becoming your best self so if you're not
19. 0:32subscribed already what are you doing
20. 0:34okay what are you doing go subscribe
21. 0:35right
22. 0:38now lesson number one who you become
23. 0:40starts with what you do today listen I'm
24. 0:42going to call some of you guys out okay
25. 0:44it's okay though because I'm guilty of
26. 0:45it as well and I needed to be called out
27. 0:47too this is your big sis making sure
28. 0:49that you guys do not make the same
29. 0:50mistakes that I did if you are currently
30. 0:51scrolling on your phone all day rotting
31. 0:53in bed skipping your workouts stalking
32. 0:55other people's happy lives on social
33. 0:57media feeling bad for yourself all the
34. 0:58time I have good news and bad news the
35. 1:00bad news is your life will continue to
36. 1:02be like that until you do something
37. 1:04about it the good news is you have the
38. 1:06complete power to completely transform
39. 1:08yourself and your life to be everything
40. 1:09that you've dreamed of listen I am your
41. 1:11proof okay I used to have zero
42. 1:13confidence in myself no friends no money
43. 1:15no purpose no nothing I was so insecure
44. 1:18of myself and I just wasted my life
45. 1:19scrolling away feeling bad for myself I
46. 1:21didn't think I had anything to live for
47. 1:23or even the ability to change my
48. 1:25situation your girl thought she was too
49. 1:26far gone to change but let me tell you
50. 1:28that your life changes the the day you
51. 1:30decide it's worth changing but who you
52. 1:32become starts with what you do today so
53. 1:33if you are starting every single day
54. 1:35waking up and scrolling on Tik Tok for 3
55. 1:37hours rolling out of bed just going
56. 1:38through the motions that is what your
57. 1:40life will be instead start good healthy
58. 1:42habits today it is never too late start
59. 1:44trying to wake up earlier put your phone
60. 1:46on do not disturb move your body go to
61. 1:48the gym work out make a to-do list
62. 1:50Journal these are going to be the small
63. 1:51actions that are going to shape who you
64. 1:53will become stop waiting for the perfect
65. 1:54time start now stop waiting for the
66. 1:56perfect time to make friends start
67. 1:58working out to start posting on social
68. 2:00media news flash there is never a
69. 2:02perfect time starting anything new is
70. 2:04going to be uncomfortable but you have
71. 2:05to fight your brain because your brain
72. 2:07is wired for comfort and your brain is
73. 2:09going to tell you you're not ready it's
74. 2:10not the perfect time you're not good
75. 2:12enough so you literally have to fight
76. 2:14her and tell yourself that you can and
77. 2:16you will start now if I started my
78. 2:18YouTube channel the day I actually
79. 2:19wanted to start my YouTube channel I
80. 2:21would have started in high school okay
81. 2:22but instead I waited till College
82. 2:24because I was waiting for the perfect
83. 2:25time I probably would have hit a million
84. 2:26subscribers way long ago if I just did
85. 2:28it when I first wanted to and the reason
86. 2:30why I started YouTube way later than I
87. 2:31actually wanted to is because I was
88. 2:33waiting for the perfect time when I had
89. 2:35the money when I had the friends when I
90. 2:37had an interesting life if I could go
91. 2:38back in time I would tell my younger
92. 2:40self to start now you don't need to be
93. 2:41friends with everyone stop letting Sally
94. 2:43use you as her punching bag okay a fake
95. 2:45friend who makes fun of you in front of
96. 2:46everyone else who doesn't invite you
97. 2:48places stop being friends with that
98. 2:49person just because you're afraid of
99. 2:51being seen alone you are not supposed to
100. 2:52be friends with everyone and some people
101. 2:54are only in your life for a season and
102. 2:55that's okay you need to love and respect
103. 2:57yourself enough to have boundaries with
104. 2:59people who don't love and respect you
105. 3:01put your energy into trying to get other
106. 3:02people to like you into bettering
107. 3:04yourself let me tell you I was a chronic
108. 3:06people pleaser my whole life okay I was
109. 3:09the only Asian in my classes growing up
110. 3:10every single basketball team I was on I
111. 3:12was always the odd one out and was
112. 3:13bullied for it so that's where my people
113. 3:15pleasing Tendencies started for some
114. 3:17reason I developed this extreme need and
115. 3:18desire to be liked and as a result it
116. 3:20made me stay friends with people who I
117. 3:22probably shouldn't have been friends
118. 3:23with they were mean to me they treated
119. 3:25me like a punching bag they would say
120. 3:26racist jokes to me they would purposely
121. 3:28leave me out and being a people made me
122. 3:30let strangers be rude to me and get away
123. 3:32with it let me tell you I learned the
124. 3:33hard way you are only hurting yourself
125. 3:35when you do that and you deal with
126. 3:36people like that most of the people that
127. 3:38you think you're going to be friends
128. 3:39with you are not going to be friends
129. 3:40with 5 years from now nor do they really
130. 3:42care about you and your well-being so I
131. 3:44promise you you are better off investing
132. 3:45all that energy into yourself and being
133. 3:47the best version of yourself and you
134. 3:49will just automatically attract people
135. 3:50that are on that same Vibe as you you
136. 3:52are your best investment you will always
137. 3:54be your best investment okay take that
138. 3:56risk start posting on social media go
139. 3:58all in start start studying hard apply
140. 4:00to your dream College start working out
141. 4:02get your dream body mentally physically
142. 4:04spiritually always invest in yourself
143. 4:06the only person who can show up the best
144. 4:08for you is yourself who you surround
145. 4:10yourself with is who you become so
146. 4:11Choose Wisely if you are finding that
147. 4:13the company you keep around all they do
148. 4:15is lie talk crap about other people put
149. 4:17other people down they're Negative they
150. 4:19don't really have much going for them
151. 4:20they're lazy that's who you will become
152. 4:22so surround yourself with people who
153. 4:23better you who inspire you if they
154. 4:25couldn't speak would their actions make
155. 4:27you feel loved this applies to everyone
156. 4:29your your friend your boyfriend your
157. 4:31cousin your mom if their actions don't
158. 4:33then you need to reconsider the
159. 4:34relationship or start setting some
160. 4:36boundaries situationships are a scam it
161. 4:38might feel nice to be in one initially
162. 4:40right because it gives you some of the
163. 4:41benefits of being in a relationship like
164. 4:43intimacy support but you get that
165. 4:45without any real commitment and this can
166. 4:47often lead to confusion heartbreak
167. 4:49jealousy and wasted time the best way to
168. 4:51avoid this is to set clear boundaries
169. 4:53communicate your needs and respect your
170. 4:55own worth from the start life will never
171. 4:57be perfect but you can make it your own
172. 4:58version of beautiful by romanticizing it
173. 5:00romanticize romanticize romanticize your
174. 5:02life life is never going to be perfect
175. 5:04and you should not expect it ever to be
176. 5:06okay there's going to be trials there's
177. 5:08going to be times where you're going
178. 5:09through it okay but you can still find
179. 5:11the beauty of life in the little things
180. 5:12so for example doing your makeup or skin
181. 5:14care having a self-care day cleaning
182. 5:16your room last year was honestly
183. 5:18arguably one of the worst years of my
184. 5:19life I was going through a lot of health
185. 5:20problems and acne I was just really
186. 5:22going through it mentally because of it
187. 5:24there were hard days trust me where I
188. 5:25would just cry and sob and feel bad for
189. 5:27myself but the other days I would push
190. 5:29through and try to find beauty in the
191. 5:31little things even when my acne looks so
192. 5:32bad I would still be very gentle with my
193. 5:34face massage my face take my time with
194. 5:36it and just try to find the beauty in it
195. 5:38you know even though my skin was going
196. 5:39through it and I was going through it I
197. 5:41would still almost find joy in doing my
198. 5:43skincare and having a set routine so
199. 5:45yeah you could still find the beauty in
200. 5:46a lot of the things stop taking
201. 5:47everything so personally people project
202. 5:50this one okay when someone criticizes
203. 5:52you or makes fun of you they're actually
204. 5:54mirroring their own fears and their own
205. 5:55insecurities their hate comments are
206. 5:57more about them than about you so do not
207. 5:59care carry the weight of someone else's
208. 6:00emotional baggage and the person doesn't
209. 6:02even add anything to your life and you
210. 6:04know how I know this for a fact when I
211. 6:06was the most ugliest most vicious
212. 6:08insecure version of myself talking crap
213. 6:10about people hating on other people
214. 6:12success this and that that was when I
215. 6:14was at my most insecure and let me tell
216. 6:17you now that I am confident and I'm
217. 6:18literally living my dream life I have
218. 6:20zero desire to hate on anyone or go out
219. 6:23of my way to make fun of someone or
220. 6:24leave a nasty comment like No And it's
221. 6:26because I have peace in my life and in
222. 6:28myself do it scared you will always be
223. 6:31scared of trying something new to meet
224. 6:32someone new to put yourself out there
225. 6:34and that's okay just do it you can do it
226. 6:37scared you just have to remember that
227. 6:38when you test your limits you will
228. 6:39always become stronger from it even if
229. 6:41the experience wasn't the best your goal
230. 6:43should be to learn something from it
231. 6:44find hobbies that you love and genuinely
232. 6:46enjoy so start painting pottery learn to
233. 6:48play the piano volunteer at your local
234. 6:50shelter life is too short to not find
235. 6:52hobbies that you genuinely love and
236. 6:53enjoy your physical health your mental
237. 6:55health your spiritual health they are
238. 6:57all tied it does not matter if
239. 6:59physically you got the nicest banging
240. 7:00body but your mental is going through it
241. 7:03so you need to make sure that you
242. 7:04prioritize all three to be truly healthy
243. 7:06be careful what you put out you need to
244. 7:08think of your words and your actions as
245. 7:10boomerangs whatever Vibe you send out or
246. 7:12any words you say you are sending that
247. 7:14Boomerang out and it will return back to
248. 7:16you so spread positivity empathy good
249. 7:18intentions and you will see that
250. 7:20uplifting positive energy be returned
251. 7:22back to you tfold love on your family
252. 7:24while they're still here I remember
253. 7:25during college there was a point I had
254. 7:27to move back home because I couldn't
255. 7:28afford to DM there anymore and the rest
256. 7:30of my friends were able to live together
257. 7:32and just experience you know college
258. 7:33together and I remember I was so upset
259. 7:35and sad I like even complained to my
260. 7:37parents at one point which I honestly
261. 7:39really regret and like I tear up
262. 7:40thinking about it because you know they
263. 7:42did their best but now being 25 years
264. 7:44old and looking back I'm so grateful
265. 7:46that I had that time to spend with my
266. 7:48family and live with my parents cuz that
267. 7:50is time I'm never going to get back and
268. 7:51you know it wasn't all peaches and
269. 7:52cherries okay I was literally living in
270. 7:54a room with no windows at the time the
271. 7:56real ones no you know it wasn't always
272. 7:57easy because I was in college and all my
273. 7:59friends I see them living their life it
274. 8:01was it was hard it was difficult but
275. 8:02that is such precious time that I'm so
276. 8:04grateful I got to spend with my parents
277. 8:06so looking back I would not change a
278. 8:08thing document your journey even your
279. 8:10most painful moments start journaling I
280. 8:12started journaling when I was 19 years
281. 8:14old in college and that was
282. 8:15single-handedly the best decision I've
283. 8:17ever made for myself if you've never
284. 8:18tried journaling before it is the best
285. 8:20thing you can do for your own
286. 8:21self-growth self- Lov Journey because
287. 8:23literally you could go back to the date
288. 8:25of where you were at what you were
289. 8:26thinking what you were going through and
290. 8:27compared to where you are now and how
291. 8:29you are now and how much your life has
292. 8:30changed I first started journaling when
293. 8:32I was a broke college student who had
294. 8:34zero friends who spent every weekend
295. 8:35alone in my dorm room I was 30 PBS
296. 8:37heavier I literally had nothing going
297. 8:39for myself and still I would journal and
298. 8:41I would be like future Lena I hope you
299. 8:42see this and I hope that you are proud
300. 8:44of yourself and I hope that you are
301. 8:46successful I hope that you are happy I
302. 8:48hope that you have friends those are all
303. 8:49things I've documented in my journals
304. 8:51and I still look back on it to this day
305. 8:52and it just makes me realize how much
306. 8:53you've grown as a person and so if you
307. 8:55are not journaling already I have the
308. 8:57perfect journal for you this is actually
309. 8:59my very own journal that I created the
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311. 9:03so easy to actually stick to journaling
312. 9:04so if you're new to journaling it tells
313. 9:06you exactly what you need to write it
314. 9:07has daily mood check-ins gratitude
315. 9:09prompts intentional goals daily
316. 9:11affirmations and free write space so you
317. 9:13could write whatever else your heart
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322. 9:20journaling Journey I'm going to have my
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330. 9:34daily routine it literally only takes 5
331. 9:36minutes a day and I promise you you will
332. 9:38not regret it apology without change is
333. 9:40manipulation listen I do not care if
334. 9:42they are on their knees apologizing
335. 9:44begging for forgiveness With Tears in
336. 9:45their eyes snot in their nose if they
337. 9:47apologize and you forgive them but they
338. 9:49continue to do the same crap to you they
339. 9:51are manipulating you and we do not have
340. 9:53time for that so pack it up pack it up
341. 9:56Sir or ma'am you will never regret
342. 9:58taking the high road listen I know
343. 10:00myself okay sometimes when you're in a
344. 10:01situation with someone who did you so
345. 10:03dirty the only thing you are thinking in
346. 10:05your head is I want to curse this person
347. 10:06out right now the only thing I promise
348. 10:08you that you will never regret is taking
349. 10:10the high road and knowing that you could
350. 10:11look back on a situation and can say
351. 10:13with confidence that you put your own
352. 10:14pride aside you put your own emotions
353. 10:16and feelings aside to take the high road
354. 10:18and you will look and feel like the
355. 10:20better person and there's just no
356. 10:22argument there so even if someone is
357. 10:23doing you dirty dirty talking crap about
358. 10:25you making everyone turn on you lying on
359. 10:27your name you know that is only
360. 10:29reflection of them may make you really
361. 10:30angry in the moment but choosing to be
362. 10:32the bigger person to be respectful and
363. 10:34mature in that situation that is
364. 10:35something you will never regret your
365. 10:37morals and values make up who you are so
366. 10:39they are going to be the foundation that
367. 10:40guides your decisions and shapes who you
368. 10:42are as a person so by staying true to
369. 10:44your own principles even when life gets
370. 10:46tough and challenging you will build a
371. 10:48life that is genuine to you and you will
372. 10:49find the most confidence from that stop
373. 10:51fearing discomfort it is the only
374. 10:53gateway to growth take risks and just
375. 10:55watch your life transform you will never
376. 10:57know your full potential until you take
377. 10:58those risks listen I never thought that
378. 11:01I would be a successful YouTuber at all
379. 11:03I believed to my core that I was not
380. 11:05interesting enough I was not cool enough
381. 11:06I was not pretty enough but I did it and
382. 11:08it has given me the life that only
383. 11:1019-year-old me could have dreamed of if
384. 11:12things keep on happening to you it will
385. 11:13only continue until you learn from them
386. 11:15so if you keep being presented with the
387. 11:17same situation the same scenario just
388. 11:19different fonts maybe you keep being
389. 11:21presented with the same toxic friend
390. 11:22toxic boyfriend and you're making the
391. 11:24same exact mistakes with them they are
392. 11:25just going to keep on showing up until
393. 11:27you finally learn from them believe in
394. 11:28something higher than yourself so by
395. 11:30this I mean to have faith I believe in
396. 11:32God I have faith I'm a Christian and
397. 11:34I've just personally seen the way God
398. 11:35has completely transformed my life and
399. 11:37transformed me I'm by no means a perfect
400. 11:39Christian or a perfect person but all I
401. 11:41can say is that I can attest to the way
402. 11:43that he has saved my life during the
403. 11:45times I've contemplated it during the
404. 11:46times I didn't see a future and having
405. 11:48faith just gave me a sense of purpose
406. 11:50and confidence in myself and I just
407. 11:51believe that believing in something
408. 11:52higher than yourself just truly
409. 11:54transforms you and your life in ways I
410. 11:55can't even explain so I just encourage
411. 11:57you just ask God to come into your life
412. 11:59to show himself to you to show you your
413. 12:01purpose and to help transform you into
414. 12:03your best self rejection is only
415. 12:04redirection every time I've been
416. 12:06rejected by anything and I'm telling you
417. 12:08I've been rejected by a lot jobs
418. 12:10internships people friends like a lot it
419. 12:13has only led me to something bigger and
420. 12:15better what is meant to you will find
421. 12:16you stop making other people's opinions
422. 12:19your truth I said this before and I'm
423. 12:21going to say it again their opinion of
424. 12:22you is not a fact it's an opinion stop
425. 12:25making their opinion define who you are
426. 12:27and last but not least stop wasting
427. 12:28pressure energy tearing other people
428. 12:30down use it to lift yourself higher
429. 12:32instead stop wasting your energy to be
430. 12:33negative and hate on other people I'm a
431. 12:35firm believer that collaboration will
432. 12:37always be better than competition and
433. 12:39the best thing you can do for yourself
434. 12:40is stop seeing every single person as
435. 12:42competition you will exhaust yourself
436. 12:43that way your only competition is who
437. 12:45you were yesterday and every single day
438. 12:47you should strive to be better than the
439. 12:49version that you were yesterday your
440. 12:50past self is your only competition that
441. 12:52girl you see on Instagram that seems
442. 12:53like she has a perfect life the perfect
443. 12:55body the perfect boyfriend all this
444. 12:56money she is not your competition but
445. 12:58yeah I hope this was helpful these are
446. 13:0025 lessons that I wish I knew before I
447. 13:01was 25 I want you guys to comment down
448. 13:03below which lesson was your favorite and
449. 13:05if you're a real one go ahead and follow
450. 13:06me on Instagram and Tik to I love you
451. 13:07guys so so much and I hope to catch you
452. 13:09in my next video bye guys
453. 13:11[Music]