YT YouTube2Text

YouTube2Text → Transcripts → 19 Years of Abuse, Betrayal, & Rebuilding Her Life | #ABtalks with The Wizard Liz | Chapter 259

19 Years of Abuse, Betrayal, & Rebuilding Her Life | #ABtalks with The Wizard Liz | Chapter 259 — Transcript

by #ABtalks · 27,658 words · 4,881 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Open in transcriber Summarize with AI Download SRT/VTT

Full transcript

0:05Who helped Liz?
0:06I built this whole empire by myself
0:09''Nobody's coming to save you''
0:10That's what I used to always say
0:12You had bulimia, anorexia
0:14severe depression
0:15Yes
0:16Now I had to deal with 19 years of abuse
0:19When did it all change?
0:21When I was four months pregnant,
0:22I got cheated on
0:23Loyalty is more important than love
0:25I'm gonna stop being a victim
0:27The more I'm listening to you,
0:28the more I know how real it was
0:31You don't need to forgive everyone
0:33and I don't believe everyone
0:34deserves your forgiveness either
0:36When I say ''your childhood'',
0:38What is the first emotion that comes to mind?
0:40My oldest brother
0:41he was disabled because of the war
0:44You don't forgive him?
0:45We used to pray
0:46that his plane would crash
0:48If he was to die,
0:49then we were finally relieved of our suffering
0:52And I'm sorry that I'm reminding you of these things
0:54but I'm trying to paint a picture of Liz
0:56to the people also
0:57Yes
1:05So I knew this was going to be
1:07The funny thing we is we believe in timing
1:09and we were supposed to meet for the first time
1:11last year but for timing reasons
1:14of our life or fate
1:16It didn't happen and we finally met today
1:19and I was doing the research
1:21and I was mind blown by
1:23what Liz has gone through in her life
1:25and I knew
1:27I could not compromise questions
1:29I can't remove
1:30I wanted to keep all of the questions in my head
1:33So I had a lot
1:34and I wanted you
1:36to go with me through a journey
1:38to get to know, Liz
1:40So I hope you enjoyed it, too
1:42Yes, I liked it a lot
1:43Five stars
1:44That's five?
1:45That's ten
1:47I'll take ten so
1:49So if you know Liz from before
1:52Because she said she doesn't
1:54do a lot of long form
1:57I hope you get to know her
1:58from different angles
1:59and her perspective on a lot of things
2:02and if you don't know her,
2:03get to know her
2:04I think you're going to get to know three hours of
2:06proper insight
2:08and if you like her, support her
2:10Support her love for women,
2:12for being a mother
2:16and when she opens her brand
2:17so I hope you enjoy it
2:19as much as I did
2:21Thank you, and also support him
2:23Thank you
2:24Enjoy
3:01Let's go
3:05Hi Liz
3:06Hi
3:08We finally meet
3:09Yes
3:10We never met in person, funny
3:12No
3:14So we start with, how are you really doing?
3:19I'm doing good
3:25Given the circumstances, I think I'm doing pretty good
3:29Are you covering?
3:31or are you actually good inside?
3:35I don't know
3:36I feel like I'm like so numb
3:38at this point in my life
3:40where I just don't know anymore
3:42how I'm really feeling
3:44I just...
3:46I think so many things have happened in my life
3:48where I just had to survive and not really live
3:51so now again
3:52I have a situation happening in my life
3:54that is so heartbreaking that I'm like,
3:56"Okay, it's survival mode again
3:58and once I'm in survival mode
3:59I just don't feel
4:00I just keep going
4:02because I have no other choice
4:04I guess it's in your wiring
4:07and today for the audience
4:08I'm just telling you from now
4:11"Enjoy the ride"
4:12because we have a whole journey to go through
4:15your 27 years which is a very interesting and
4:19filled experience
4:22so I wanted to go through it
4:23I really looked at the research
4:25and I didn't go too deep
4:27because I want to listen to you
4:32but yes
4:35Everybody knows you as The Wizard Liz
4:37but who is Liz when no one's around?
4:41I think I'm really
4:45I'm a very positive person
4:47and I'm very funny
4:49That's how my friends would describe me
4:51and my friends, that's my sister
4:53because I don't really hang out with anyone else
4:56and so
4:56I think my sister would describe me as someone funny
4:59light-hearted
5:01I'm also very
5:04I feel like a strong person
5:06and definitely a workaholic
5:08I love working
5:11And I feel like I'm also
5:13always there for people
5:18You said you don't have friends
5:20I don't really have friends, no
5:23growing up like I wasn't allowed to have friends
5:25In school, I had friends
5:28but I wasn't allowed to hang out with them outside
5:30because my father was super controlling
5:32super religious and basically me and my sister
5:36we couldn't leave our house
5:37unless it was school or work
5:39so I never was allowed to develop friendships
5:42outside of the house
5:45but I was very lucky that I had a sister
5:47who is literally my best friend
5:50Yes, that was really good
5:52but other than that
5:53all of my friendships just turned into online
5:57I never really hang out with people
5:58other than my sister
6:00So it's just something you got used to
6:02that even when you moved out
6:04and had your own life
6:05you still don't know how to make friends?
6:06or you don't want to make new friends?
6:08I think right now I'm at a point
6:11even with my career and everything
6:13that I've been very betrayed
6:15even with people that used to be my friends
6:18and I've been backstabbed a lot
6:20that I'm very cautious now
6:22who I allow around me
6:25And even recently
6:26I found something out about
6:28a guy that I used to be friends with
6:30and I'm like,
6:32I don't understand how some people do what they do
6:35or why they would do it
6:37but you know how they always say,
6:39"Once you make it or once you become successful,
6:42your day ones,
6:42you should never forget them" or all these things
6:44but I really feel like once you change
6:47or once you reach a certain level of success
6:50a lot of people reveal who they really are
6:53and that for me
6:55has been the most heartbreaking process
6:57because I now understand why people say that,
7:00the more successful you get,
7:01the lonelier you get
7:03I get it
7:04and I hate that
7:06they say people tell you you've changed
7:08when you stop being the way they want you to be
7:10Yes, exactly
7:11Exactly, that's very true
7:14But you know
7:16how I look at it, Liz
7:17when I go through similar things?
7:20I'm like, "Thank God you showed me"
7:23Because I'd rather know
7:25than be that stupid idiot that everybody knows
7:28except me
7:29I hate that idea
7:31Everybody knows
7:32they're taking advantage or lying to you
7:34they're cheating or whatever
7:36and you're just that
7:37I don't want to be the naive girl
7:39I want to know at least
7:40It would hurt but I know
7:43and then I know where to put you
7:44either out or in another box
7:46- I know - Yes
7:47I prefer that
7:49- I agree - It hurts
7:50but it's better
7:52Very true
7:53but it's a hard lesson to learn
7:55I feel...
7:56You've never had
7:58one best friend other than your sister?
7:59I had one in school
8:02There was this
8:03Moroccan girl, I'm still friends with her
8:05We always text
8:06her name is Nasira and she never had friends either
8:10and then I was like,
8:12"Let's be friends"
8:13She's a really nice girl
8:17I appreciate her a lot
8:18What made your heart smile today?
8:21I FaceTimed my baby
8:24I was very happy
8:26I'm happy that you're happy
8:28- Thank you - That's good
8:31That's really sweet
8:33and important for your heart
8:35For two weeks
8:38I had like no contact with my ex who has my child
8:41and I didn't know anything about my child
8:43so I was like really
8:45I was really suffering
8:46because my sister,
8:47she's trying to make me be strong
8:50and just like, you know
8:52"He'll come around
8:53He'll give you your child or whatever
8:56It will happen. Just stay strong"
8:59And then two weeks go by, and nothing happens
9:01And then I feel
9:03especially because I'm a mother
9:05I can't so
9:06I reached out
9:07and we came to some sort of agreement that I
9:09at least can
9:10FaceTime my child
9:12That made me very happy
9:15but I
9:17I just don't understand the level of evil
9:21you have to be to take a child from their mother
9:24If the mother genuinely
9:26wants to be in a child's life
9:28and wants to be there
9:29especially cause it's an infant
9:31They need their mother
9:32Especially for the brain development
9:34and all these things
9:37Really, this year
9:40I just learned that people are very evil
9:45and I feel like growing up
9:47I don't know why
9:47because my dad was very sadistic and he was very evil
9:51but somehow I was very naive about people
9:54and maybe it's because I was always isolated
9:56Because I wasn't allowed to hang around other people really
9:59I wasn't allowed to date
10:00so I didn't really know the extent of people
10:03So I just assumed everyone has good in them
10:07and I was really walking around, "La, la, la"
10:10Just delusional, you know
10:12and I think just like
10:14especially meeting my ex and
10:16going through all of that and that betrayal
10:18I realized like, "Wow,
10:20There is actual real danger in this world"
10:25and people will portray themselves
10:26as someone that they're completely not
10:29and they just don't care if it hurts you
10:32They don't feel empathy
10:33that it hurts you
10:35So then I was like, "Damn,
10:36I really need to watch out"
10:38But that also made me wiser
10:40Because now I'm like...
10:43So now I know at least
10:45So I think there was a blessing in that
10:46It really woke me up
10:50Yes, the idea of good and evil is a tricky one
10:53Liz, because
10:54I think there's a lot of good
10:56but I think the evil sometimes trumps the good
11:00It's like comments
11:01If you get 49 good comments and one really bad one
11:05Your brain focuses on the bad
11:07and the sad thing is
11:09let's take a building
11:10It takes you two years to build a building
11:13- Right? - Yes
11:14It takes you one moment to blow it up
11:16Yes, true
11:17The evil is very strong and quick
11:20and it can destroy so much
11:22To build, I could
11:24as friends I can build me and you, our trust
11:26for the next two years
11:27and then I do one thing and you're like, "Damn it"
11:30"I can't believe he did that"
11:33"He said that behind my back or he did this"
11:35So it breaks
11:37That's why I feel sad
11:40I feel sad about the evil
11:43I don't know
11:43sometimes people are born with it, maybe not
11:45maybe it's the the childhood
11:47I think it can be nurture
11:49That's why I'm like,
11:50Even if I say for example
11:53"My ex is evil"
11:54I think it's more so
11:55he's also acting from a traumatized standpoint
11:58and what he knows from his childhood
12:01Because I really believe like
12:03you attract people on the same trauma that you have
12:06For example, you know?
12:08No matter how much you try to heal them or whatever
12:11Your nervous system will be comfortable with someone
12:14that has either been through the same things
12:16or is on that same vibration
12:18So if you look at my ex for example
12:20he was abandoned really like a child
12:24What he's doing now is what his parents did with him
12:27Just like,
12:27"I'm going to take the child" and whatever, all these things
12:30And in a way I was also abandoned
12:33but it was like my parents did stay together
12:35even though they were abusive
12:36My dad was abusing my mom
12:38they stay together
12:40So for me, I grew up
12:42not getting the love and nurture that I needed
12:44from my parents
12:45but they stay together
12:47so there's a sense of loyalty that I know
12:50which isn't even good because oftentimes
12:52people that see their parents argue
12:54or stay in abusive situations
12:56they go into relationships and then they think,
12:58"Okay,
12:59so I should also stay cause my parents stayed together"
13:02and that's what they see as
13:03"This is love, you stay together no matter what"
13:06And then for example what he's doing is like
13:09his parents were like
13:10dating other people and throwing the child around
13:12using it as a prop
13:14and now he's doing the same thing
13:15and he doesn't really know
13:17any loyalty
13:19because he he didn't see that with his parents
13:22So it's like, "Is this person really evil
13:25or are they acting from their childhood?"
13:28It can still be evil
13:29even if they're acting out of their childhood
13:31I mean,
13:31what he's doing is bad
13:33but I always look at why you are doing that
13:36It doesn't mean that I have to accept it
13:38It doesn't mean I have to justify your actions
13:40Correct
13:41But I always try to understand
13:44where is this coming from
13:46If you understand, Liz
13:47it makes you feel better
13:49That's why we want to understand
13:51That's true
13:52That's why ghosting sucks
13:53because you don't understand
13:55You go crazy
13:56But if you understand, even if they're like
13:57" I'm just not interested"
13:59Even if it hurts,
14:00you understand
14:01and you can close it off
14:02Correct
14:03Yes, I think that's what I have
14:08Yes, they say
14:09"When people say that
14:11they're looking for happiness in a relationship
14:14they're not really seeking happiness
14:15they're seeking familiarity"
14:17And that's where you attract
14:19what your nervous system is used to
14:22Chaos? Chaos
14:23Abandonment? Abandonment
14:25You know?
14:26Unless you catch it and maybe work on it
14:28I don't know
14:29When I say your childhood,
14:33what is the first emotion that comes to mind?
14:38I just feel
14:42betrayed
14:44I feel like my childhood was taken from me
14:48I feel like I never had one
14:52That's what I feel
14:53when I think of my childhood
14:56And we're going to go more into it
14:58but I'll tell you a few things that I read
14:59Is it true
15:01that your mom tried to escape on her wedding night?
15:04- Yes - Wow
15:06My mom was forced to marry my dad
15:10which is crazy
15:11because she really didn't want to marry him
15:13She didn't want to marry anyone
15:14and my mom was
15:16She's still a very beautiful woman
15:18but everyone knew her as a super beautiful woman
15:21in the city
15:23And she was always like very high class
15:25She didn't want to marry anyone
15:28and then my dad was from a poor village
15:31Not attractive, no one wanted him
15:34and he was already married one time before
15:36and my mom used to always say,
15:38"I will never marry someone that had kids before
15:42or that was married before"
15:43She used to always say that
15:45and then my dad came around and everyone literally
15:49said he did black magic on her
15:51No way that he got her
15:53This is how much people couldn't believe it
15:56and even on her wedding night
15:58there were other people that were trying to marry her
16:01she was trying to escape to go that way
16:03but my aunt caught her and she was forced to marry my dad
16:08And yes
16:11the misery began once she married him
16:14he turned immediately abusive
16:16and it was crazy because he was stalking her
16:19obsessing over her
16:20He wouldn't leave her alone until he married her
16:24and then it was like a switch
16:2625 years of hell
16:30How would you describe your childhood?
16:33Other than the betrayal feeling?
16:35If you had to draw it for me
16:39It's such a blur
16:41because I have so much trauma that a lot of things
16:43I do not remember
16:45I remember flashes
16:46Like visions almost
16:49and they're not good
16:55I didn't have a childhood
16:56I don't know what to tell you
16:57I don't know
16:58I do know that I
17:00I was like a happy kid still
17:03or try to be happy
17:06but it's not like
17:09that I was given the love that I wanted
17:12Not from mom, too?
17:14My mom was very like
17:17I feel like I was a mother to my mother
17:20So I feel like I was her parent
17:23taking care of her and protecting her
17:25You know what's actually crazy?
17:27I do hypnotherapy
17:28and all these things for my PTSD
17:31and I was recently in a session with my therapist
17:34and I wanted to heal the relationship with my ex
17:38and why I feel so r esponsible for this person
17:41even though they hurt me
17:43and we literally went into hypnosis
17:46and I saw a vision where I was a little girl
17:51and I don't remember what age it was
17:54I think like around 8 years old or something
17:57and I was sleeping
17:58and I remember at night I suddenly heard,
18:01"Liz"
18:02My mom yelling for me
18:04So I woke up and I ran to the living room
18:07and when I ran to the living room
18:09The lights were off
18:10and my mom was sitting on the floor
18:12and my dad was sitting in front of her
18:14and she had been hit in the face
18:18and I was like,
18:20and I looked at them and my dad looked at me
18:23He's like, "Go back to your room"
18:25"Go to sleep"
18:26and my mom was scared
18:28and in that moment my mom told me,
18:32This is making me emotional
18:33my mom told me, "Don't go" because she was scared
18:39in that moment I decided,
18:41I went to sit next to her
18:42even though I was scared myself
18:44but I realized in that moment
18:46I took on the role of her protector
18:51and ever since that moment
18:54it wasn't a childhood for me anymore
18:56it was like I'm responsible for my mother
18:58and I'm responsible for my siblings
18:59for my whole family
19:00I need to protect them against my father
19:04and my father really started to
19:07hate me from a young age and resent me
19:09because I was always protecting my mom
19:12and for example
19:13he would try these manipulation tactics on my siblings
19:16"I'm going to buy donuts for you guys" or whatever
19:18so they would like him more
19:20but it would never work on me
19:21because I could see through him and I was like,
19:23"No I'm going to stick with my mom no matter what"
19:28That was just my whole childhood
19:30giving her advice, protecting her
19:33physically protecting her
19:34and then once I became older
19:37my whole focus was I need to provide
19:40and I need to make money to help my mom
19:42and to help my siblings, that's my role
19:44So then I remember when I was 12 years old, for example
19:47I went and
19:49I bought these waffles in supermarket and I was like,
19:52"I have to decorate each waffle separately
19:55and then I was going to sell them
19:56door to door to people so that I could make money"
20:00I was like, "It's for a good cause"
20:03The good cause was me
20:06I was selling them and I had made like a lot of money
20:08but I told
20:10my parents that I have a nanny job or something
20:15I was doing that job and then once
20:17it was legal for me to work
20:18which was like 15 turning 16
20:21I did any job I could, literally
20:23I was always working
20:24because I didn't want my mom to have to provide for me
20:28because she was already working a lot
20:30and my dad wasn't doing anything
20:32so I didn't want to put more pressure on her
20:35so also my sister started working
20:37The women in the family were all working um
20:41and we were providing for ourselves
20:42and then
20:44my dad would make us pay for groceries and everything
20:47He was doing nothing
20:50It was a lot of responsibility at a young age
20:54It makes sense
20:55that you didn't taste what childhood is supposed to be
21:01And then also at some point
21:03you had to leave your homeland and emigrate, right?
21:09Yes, that was actually
21:11I was 1 year old
21:14That was before
21:16So all of what you told me was after the move
21:18Yes
21:18So you moved very early
21:20so you don't remember your home
21:21No, no
21:21My mom does remember the war
21:24My dad does, my older brother does
21:29Are you ready for the journey?
21:31Yes
21:32The first time I do it this way but
21:35There was so much to your story, Liz
21:38that I usually don't even...
21:41I'll use this just for five
21:43questions that I'll quote you
21:45and I'll see what you have to say about your quote
21:47or what somebody's saying
21:49But this time
21:50I can't, I need to make sure we go to this
21:53journey correctly
21:54Yes, okay
21:56I've lived many lives
21:57Okay, so
21:59is it true that your mother was cleaning toilets
22:01for $10 a week?
22:03And that was your family's only source of food?
22:07Yes
22:07that was like when we had just immigrated
22:10and we're at the immigration center
22:11refugee camp
22:13and there you could
22:15do a job where you clean toilets
22:18and she would make $10 a week for that
22:21Yes, that was the money that we had
22:25Another thing happened
22:26which was even crazier because my oldest brother
22:29he was disabled because of the war
22:33and because of that
22:34we got government support
22:36that they gave to refugees
22:38and it was around 10,000 to 15,000 dollars
22:43That was a huge amount of money
22:45especially back in the day
22:46Per month or per year?
22:48No, you get that once
22:50Because you need medical support and all these things
22:53And basically
22:54my mom had found out that my dad had taken that money
22:59that was supposed to be for my brother
23:01and he had sent it back home
23:03so his mom could build a house for herself
23:06after the war destroyed her house
23:09so she could build a house again
23:11So my mom said,
23:12"That was the first time that I looked at that man
23:15and I genuinely hated this person
23:17and I'm never going to forgive him again"
23:19because we couldn't even afford
23:22food or basic necessities
23:23and you have three children by that time
23:27and he just didn't care
23:29He just sent it all so we didn't have money
23:34Why do you think..
23:35You said you're five
23:37Why do you think your mom kept having children?
23:40I think society and how all our culture is raised
23:45I think it's very normal
23:47and it's like what her mother has done
23:49and they didn't know any better
23:51I mean,
23:52she also never had an example of any woman
23:55that does anything outside of the norm
23:57So you're just going to do what everyone else is doing
24:00You know, you create a family
24:01The man tells you he wants a child
24:03so you listen to the man
24:05He's abusing you
24:06but you're still going to stay
24:07because that's all you have ever seen
24:09And then it takes one person to break that cycle
24:12for it to never repeat again
24:13because now
24:14you have an example of how things can be different
24:17Correct
24:19Is it true that your father would invite friends over
24:23to humiliate your mother because she wanted a job?
24:26Yes, he would
24:28So, the first years
24:30He wouldn't allow her to work
24:33but we would get government support
24:35and he wouldn't give it to her either
24:37or she had to beg for $5 to buy bread
24:41And he wouldn't
24:44He basically liked the control that he had
24:46and then whenever she was like, "Look
24:48I really need a job
24:49I need to provide for my children"
24:51He would basically call his friends like,
24:53"Look at this dumbass, she wants a job"
24:57He would just laugh at her
24:59It's quite twisted
25:01You don't have money
25:02She wants to work and he doesn't allow her to work
25:06I think he enjoyed seeing her suffer
25:10I think there are a lot of men, unfortunately
25:15that enjoy seeing women suffer
25:17It's not even about anything other than that
25:20They like that you're unhappy
25:23I think it's a very narcissistic trait
25:25and an egoistic trait
25:27You want the other person to be...
25:29Narcissists are
25:30masters at it
25:31Slowly, slowly they control you
25:33Or slowly, slowly they make you insecure
25:35"I don't like, you know
25:38blue jeans don't look good on you"
25:39And you're like, "Oh really?"
25:41It actually looks good
25:42but now he wants you to be insecure about it
25:44Because you're a good-looking person or whatever
25:46And slowly
25:47"Oh, your ears"
25:49I'm talking about the subtle narcissist
25:52there are more aggressive ones
25:54I wonder,because I used to always think
25:58"Does my dad fit into the archetype?"
25:59But he was way more sadistic than that
26:04I think narcissism is one way
26:06but then you have actual sociopaths
26:09that don't feel any type of empathy at all
26:13But at the flip side, outside
26:17he was very loved
26:18and everyone, very charming man
26:20A religious man,
26:21Everyone thought he was amazing
26:24so that does fit in with a narcissist
26:27but I heard somewhere that
26:29sociopaths can have narcissism too
26:32but not all narcissists are sociopaths
26:35Could be
26:36I think narcissism is a spectrum
26:39I think a lot of people have it
26:40especially with selfies today
26:41I think selfies make you more narcissist
26:43Especially somebody who like
26:46their last nine pictures on Instagram are all them alone
26:50And I'm like,
26:51I know some people would say,
26:52"Anas, no, you're judging"
26:54I think if it's always just you
26:57I think there's a level of narcissism there
27:00Now, is it normal narcissism?
27:02Or unhealthy or healthy?
27:04I think we can argue that from what I've seen
27:06I think humans have a spectrum of narcissism
27:09and at some point it becomes harmful to people
27:13Before that,
27:13maybe somebody's just in love with themselves or insecure
27:17I think that's a misconception about narcissism
27:19I was just going to say that
27:20I don't think they're in love with themselves
27:22I think they're insecure
27:24That's a misconception
27:25Because people think like
27:26Oh, people that are narcissistic
27:28are just in love with themselves
27:29or things like that
27:30but actually like they're severely insecure individuals
27:34And it is a mental illness
27:35they don't operate how normal people operate
27:38They scheme and they plot things
27:40and for example,
27:42how I've seen people
27:46diagnosed with narcissism I've seen
27:48is they'll think like,
27:49"Okay, today I'm going to act like a good partner"
27:53"Today, I'm going to act like a good father"
27:56That's how they think
27:57but everything is an act
27:59So nothing is really because they want to do it
28:02and also how exhausting it is to live like that
28:05You have to constantly just perform
28:08For example,
28:10I had this instance with this person and
28:13their grandma came to visit
28:15for example
28:17When she came to visit they were like,
28:20It's like their grandma
28:22And then they're like,
28:24"I want her to just take a hotel
28:26and not stay at my house"
28:28and I was like, "Are you insane?"
28:31"Let her stay at your house; that's your grandma"
28:33And they were like,
28:35"No, because then I have to constantly wear a mask"
28:38And I was like, "Damn,
28:40when can you ever be yourself?"
28:43"And when in your childhood
28:45did you learn that you have to perform for approval?"
28:48Because that's what they're really doing
28:50they don't think that they're good enough
28:51they don't think that their authentic version
28:54will be accepted
28:55So they will do anything so that they are liked
28:58For example,
29:00if we look at my ex
29:02The first year that we were together,
29:04that person didn't exist
29:06He literally was everything I wanted in a man
29:10He was taking care of me
29:12He was emotionally there for me
29:14Anytime he wanted to spend with me
29:16Really a love story, beautiful
29:20But then I realized this person
29:23Because he was a fan of my content before
29:26This person just studied me
29:28and he mirrored every single thing that I was
29:32So I fell in love with myself
29:34but that was never him
29:36and so after that
29:37I realized when I was four months pregnant
29:40I got cheated on
29:41I was shocked
29:42Because this person was such a loyal person
29:45and never wanted to leave my side
29:47and blah blah
29:48So when I found that out
29:50I have never been so shocked in my life about something
29:53It was a wake up
29:54"Oh my God"
29:55And then I just realized that
29:57this person that I thought that he was
30:01never existed
30:03So it was a whole reality collapse for me
30:06And then I have to deal with,
30:08"So who is this person?"
30:10and I feel like when you go through a relationship like that
30:14was the relationship ever consensual?
30:17I don't think so
30:18Because I did not consent to get engaged to this person
30:21Because I don't know them
30:24You just lied
30:26You just played a whole character for someone
30:29I think that's actually really insane
30:32For sure
30:33I've never in my life been so shocked
30:36Because you are not like that
30:38it sounds insane
30:40For anybody listening who's similar
30:41they're like,
30:42"Maybe I don't"
30:44I'm literally doing that right now
30:48Look, on the topic of narcissism
30:52I notice people who are very egoistic
30:54obviously have a high higher level of narcissism
30:57I would say
30:58I think they go hand in hand
31:00to a certain degree
31:02and I notice they take everything personally
31:06They don't accept criticism
31:09No, no
31:10And they don't take accountability
31:11That doesn't exist at all
31:13And there's no "Let's agree to disagree"
31:16- It's their opinion - Yes
31:18So, a person who
31:20is comfortable in their skin is one of the sexiest
31:24characteristics, I think
31:25I think and they can be,
31:27"That's a good looking person"
31:28"Good for them"
31:30There's no like envy
31:34"No, but they seem stupid"
31:36You're like, "No, they're funny"
31:37It has nothing to do with you
31:39But that's the issue
31:41They constantly also compete with people in their head
31:44So I really believe that's also the reason why
31:47they struggle even more with themselves
31:49Because how can you truly become successful
31:52or fall in love with yourself
31:54if you're constantly looking at other people
31:57In order to become successful,
31:59You need to focus on yourself and you need to have
32:02"Okay, this is what; I want to do
32:03this is what I want to achieve"
32:04Because if you're going to sit there
32:05and you're going to constantly think,
32:07"What is this person doing?"
32:07"What is that person doing?"
32:09then you are never pouring energy into yourself
32:12you're just pouring
32:13all of your energy into these other people
32:15and you're making them bigger
32:17meanwhile you can pour all of that
32:18energy back into yourself
32:19and you can just become who you want to be
32:22Yes, but Liz
32:22do you think they even understand what you're saying?
32:25Maybe one day, God willing
32:27Most, I don't think so
32:28And some of them are very successful because
32:30I think they're very successful on the outside
32:32not on the inside
32:34On the inside, I don't know if they sleep well
32:36For me, success is like that
32:37you really feel fulfilled inside
32:41I think it's nice to know that you are the same person
32:44One of the best compliments I ever get
32:46Ever
32:47I love this compliment
32:48when somebody meets me in real life
32:50and they're like, "Oh, you're the same"
32:52And I love that because then I'm aligned
32:54Yes
32:55I like that
32:56I'm not like a character here
32:58But then if you sit with me in a restaurant
32:59I'm always on my phone I'm not listening
33:01and I'm not
33:03you were
33:03such an attentive listener on the show"
33:06"But in real life
33:08you don't even give a shit about what I'm saying"
33:09That's fake
33:10That's me playing a character
33:11But sit with me in an Uber
33:13I'm curious
33:14"Oh really?"
33:15and I want to know
33:16So when I get that compliment
33:18I'm like, "Thank God,
33:18I'm one"
33:20Or as one as I could be
33:23- That's very important - I think so
33:25I hope so
33:28Is it true that when your mother got a new job
33:32she sold her jewelry
33:34to take you all out to celebrate
33:36at McDonald's?
34:25Yes, my mom used to
34:28Because she had gold from back home, still
34:30And she used to
34:32I remember when me and my sister
34:35there was carnival at school where you
34:38dress up and whatever
34:39and me and my sister
34:40we couldn't afford a costume, obviously
34:42but my mom was so sad that we wouldn't be able
34:45to fit in with the other children
34:47So that was the first time that she sold
34:50her necklace or whatever so that we could
34:52have an outfit
34:54for the carnival
34:55and I was a butterfly
34:56My sister was a frog
35:00Then, after that, she finally
35:03She was constantly applying for jobs constantly
35:06And then she would never get a job
35:09but then she got one
35:10and it was at a factory where you pack boxes
35:13It was a very heavy and logistical job
35:15Most men do that job
35:17But then she got that job and she was so happy
35:20so then
35:21She still had some gold left
35:22She sold it
35:23and then we went to McDonald's and we celebrated
35:25We were so happy
35:27That's sweet
35:30Your mom is around?
35:31- Yes - Thank God
35:33You have a relationship with her?
35:34Oh, yes
35:35I'm obsessed with my mother
35:37Seems rightfully so
35:39Yes
35:40When you were taking care of the house,
35:42I read that you were
35:44mopping the floor because your mom was busy
35:47You and your sister would do things in the house
35:49take care of the house
35:51and you said
35:52I think that your father would drop more water
35:56so you keep cleaning
35:57So, my father, he was
36:00very weird
36:02He had these
36:04power things he would do
36:07to show that he's in power and control
36:09Very sadistic
36:11So for example
36:12my mom was always working at that point
36:15so she wasn't really around for the abuse or anything
36:18so me and my sister we were at home and we were just
36:21we had to mop and clean the floor, whatever
36:23So we did that
36:24And my father, he just comes in
36:27He looks at the floor and he just puts the water again
36:30It's clean again
36:33for no reason
36:34Or like another time where
36:37I was sitting in my living room
36:39and I was sitting right here
36:40I was packing my stuff for school
36:44He was sitting right here
36:45and he had the remote in front of him
36:47and every single time he would call us out of our room
36:50to hand him the remote
36:52even though it was here
36:53but it was just to show "I'm powerful"
36:55Then, one time I was sitting right there
36:58completely there
37:00next to a door that had glass
37:03and my father was sitting here
37:04the remote is here and he goes like,
37:06"Give me the remote", and I said, "One second"
37:08Because I was packing something in my
37:10backpack for school
37:12and because I said "One second"
37:14he takes the remote and he throws it at my head
37:17but I ducked
37:19so because I ducked
37:20it broke the glass of the door
37:23and so he beat me up because
37:25the glass door was broken
37:27because it was supposed to be my head and not the glass
37:32Did you notice you laugh?
37:35I laugh when I get uncomfortable
37:39I know
37:42You know, there was another thing that
37:44he used to always do with me and my sister
37:48and it was like
37:51He would literally
37:53so he had a silver suitcase
37:55and in our culture
37:56honor killings are very normal
37:59for women
38:01Ever since I was young I heard
38:03"We're going to kill you if you dishonor my reputation"
38:06That was all I ever heard
38:08So basically
38:10my dad had this silver suitcase
38:13and my sister and I,
38:14I remember I was like 8 years old
38:16We were sitting in our room and he came inside of the
38:18room with a silver suitcase
38:20he opens it and there's all like butcher knives
38:23and he said to us,
38:24"If you guys ever do something to dishonor me
38:28these are the knives
38:29I will kill you guys with"
38:32and then we were like,
38:34"Okay"
38:37So then, after that, a couple years later
38:40he would start this ritual
38:42where my sister for example
38:45pissed him off or did something
38:48and he would take the
38:49silver suitcase and he would take out the knife
38:52and he would basically
38:54it was in the living room
38:55My sister was on the couch
38:56and he would push the knife on my
38:59not with the sharp thing
39:00but like the flat thing on her neck
39:03and basically be like, "You're going to die"
39:06and I had to like for hours beg for her life
39:10So I would sit there being like
39:11"Don't kill her"
39:12Literally I would cry so much
39:14my eyes would be swollen and we were children
39:17So I would like be begging for her life
39:20"Don't kill her"
39:21And then he would be like,
39:23"You're going to die"
39:24My sister's screaming
39:25Then he would be like,
39:27"Call your mom right now and say
39:29your last goodbyes cause you're dying tonight"
39:32It was like torture
39:34psychological torture for like hours on end
39:36and we believed that she was going to die
39:40and I was the only one that could save her out of that
39:43So and then it was crazy
39:45because like we had a cat at the time
39:47That was my first cat ever
39:49and he was such a sweet cat
39:51Would never put nails on you
39:53Would never touch you, nothing
39:55but my dad
39:56in the middle of doing his weird ritual where he was
40:00trying to kill my sister
40:01He goes, he stands up
40:03Because it was time for prayer
40:06He goes, he stands up to pray
40:08My sister's still on the couch and
40:10his praying mat is right here
40:12He goes
40:12He stands up to pray and he goes like down like this
40:14And suddenly at that moment when he goes down
40:18the cat runs up and scratches his face
40:22and my cat had never touched anyone
40:25or scratched anyone but I really believe that
40:29Cats are like spiritual protectors and they're very
40:33They energetically really protect you
40:36and so when my cat did that to my dad
40:38He was like, "Okay,
40:40stand up and go to your room'
40:41because even he understood
40:43then that what he was doing was wrong
40:53It's good that you're not laughing anymore
40:56It's not allowed
40:59If I don't laugh,
41:00I'm going to cry
41:01so I rather laugh
41:02If you want to cry, you cry
41:03you don't want to cry, don't cry
41:04but we don't need to cover it with laughter
41:09I think that's why
41:11me and my sister
41:12we have a bond where we're very like this
41:18We're always protecting each other because it's a big
41:21We went through all of that trauma together
41:24and me and my other siblings as well
41:26and we're all very protective of our mom
41:29Because we saw her go through all of that abuse
41:31So even if my mom is late
41:335 minutes from work, my brothers
41:35Everyone's calling, "Where are you?"
41:37"What's going on?" We get really stressed
41:39because of what we had to witness as children
41:45How's your nervous system?
41:48- I don't know - Tired?
41:50Yes
41:51I don't know
41:54I just, I don't know
42:04Stop
42:08We can sit here
42:26You can sit
42:28It's okay to sit
42:31You're fine
42:41What are you feeling?
42:44I don't know, uncomfortable
42:49Why?
42:52I think I have a lot of memories of my childhood
42:55but then I like when I actually speak about it
42:59those emotions come back up
43:00and I feel like I'm more comfortable running from them
43:04than confronting them
43:09I also believe, Liz
43:12I don't know if you believe
43:14but I believe
43:16people come into our lives at a certain time
43:22and a certain moment for a certain thing
43:25whether good or bad
43:28But I think I am sitting here in front of you
43:35so that you don't run away too much
43:38I think
43:39you need to start to stop
43:41not suddenly, I don't think it's possible
43:43I think I'm here as a handbrake
43:48for you to...
43:49You don't need to completely run away
43:51and not completely dive into it
43:54Maybe that's too much for you at one time
43:57but I'm your brake
43:59A little
44:01Just to go from fourth gear to first
44:04So today we sit in it a bit
44:06It's okay, be uncomfortable
44:09I'll ask you more
44:10This feels like therapy
44:12I'm not a therapist
44:15I'm just a guy that asks questions and is curious
44:23You said that your father would spit in your face?
44:26Yes
44:27You remember that?
44:28Yes
44:29Why would he?
44:31Because one time
44:33my mom asked me to take $5 from his wallet
44:35Because I needed to buy bread
44:39and so he found out that I did that
44:42so he beat me for it
44:45and the spit in my face was actually
44:49because I spent $2 extra
44:51on something that I needed to buy for him
44:54so then he looked at the receipt
44:56and then he spit in my face
44:59You know, when I was doing the research
45:01I was curious if you're a liar
45:03It's a normal thing because it's a dramatic life
45:06You know, some people do things to be popular
45:10negative attention, right?
45:11Makes you popular
45:13But the more I'm listening to you
45:16I didn't even come with that judgement
45:17by the way
45:18- I come - No, it's okay
45:20- as neutral as I can - I get it
45:22I just wanted to give you this credit
45:25The more I'm listening to you,
45:27the more I know how real it was
45:32And how raw
45:34So thank you for being raw with me
45:38You know..
45:40I honestly wish it was a lie
45:42I oftentimes think to myself
45:45I wish I could wake up
45:47and everything was just a bad dream
45:50but it's not
45:52If you could go back in time
45:55and change the family that you were born into
45:57would you?
45:58No
46:00I wouldn't because who would protect my mom?
46:25You know, it's like
46:28even with like
46:30the money thing and me always
46:32wanting a lot of money or trying to make money
46:34The only reason I ever wanted to do that was
46:38to help my mom and my family
46:41Even when I started YouTube,
46:42and that was
46:44the first big paycheck that I got from my YouTube
46:48ad revenue
46:49I immediately sent everything to my mom
46:52Ever since then,
46:52I started giving her a monthly allowance
46:55then I had like a big brand deal with
46:59this sponsorship that I did
47:01and all of that money I took
47:03and I immediately paid off her house
47:06because otherwise she would have to
47:08for the next 15 years work to pay it off
47:11and it was like such a big stress on me
47:13that she would have to work constantly to pay that
47:16and all these things
47:18I was so happy like I could do that for her
47:21Because I always when I say,
47:24"Oh, I love money so much"
47:26People think
47:28I'm materialistic or whatever
47:30They always see the bad things
47:34But money really changed my family's life
47:37and I really took away a lot of their problems
47:40because of it
47:40So, for me, money has been a really big blessing
47:43and like even helping other people
47:46Like girls that message me that are in bad situations
47:51being able to help them and stuff
47:53I don't understand that people demonize money so much
47:57when I really think that
47:59if you are a good person
48:00without money,
48:02you'll be a better person with money
48:03but if you are a bad person without money
48:06you'll be worse
48:06Because you'll abuse that power
48:09But, yes
48:10I really it has been a blessing
48:15You know?
48:16If you're born into a poor family or a simple family
48:21financially,
48:23unfortunately, poor houses speak of money as an evil
48:27rich houses speak of money as an asset or a resource
48:30Yes
48:30They're more comfortable to talk about money at lunch
48:34Or in the living room
48:35I wasn't brought up to speak positively about money
48:39And then that builds a negative relationship
48:41and a perception to money
48:42Money is a tool
48:45Something that my mother mentioned to us on her
48:4960th birthday
48:51She said, "Guys,
48:53don't buy me a gift, buy me a memory"
48:56So, you know
48:57It's like you taking your mum to Switzerland
49:00to enjoy the nature for a week
49:02you just use money
49:04to buy a memory
49:06without that money
49:08If your mum is sick, who will take her to the hospital?
49:12If your baby needs Pampers
49:13who's going to buy? With what?
49:15Very true
49:16With coupon? What are you going to do?
49:17We should stop attacking money
49:20It's not even a person
49:21It's not even a personality
49:22It doesn't even exist
49:23It's a resource
49:25Use it for good or bad
49:26like you said,
49:26it matters who's the person who has that resource
49:34I saw a video of your sister
49:36saying that she saw that your father was dragging you
49:40by the hair
49:41- Is that true? - Yes
49:44I don't know
49:45How many things am I supposed to talk about
49:47Yes
49:49And I'm sorry that I'm reminding you of these things
49:52but I'm trying to paint a picture of this
49:54to the people also
49:56Yes,
49:57he would do these things
49:58drag me by the hair,
50:01He would like, how do you say it?
50:03Stomp me?
50:05Stomp me in the face with his foot
50:09but he would abuse everyone
50:11my brothers, too
50:12me too
50:14I always thought
50:17he was abused by his mother when he was young
50:20His mom was very
50:22evil too
50:23He had
50:24a lot of scars on his head
50:25because of how much she used to beat him
50:28and then he took that
50:30and he basically when my mom used to tell him,
50:33"Why are you beating your children?"
50:34"What are you doing?"
50:36He used to say, "Well, I got beat too"
50:38So he felt justified in what he did
50:40- Repeating - Yes
50:42I think
50:43a lot of people that are unhealed in their traumas
50:46they take their trauma
50:48and they felt, "Something unfair was done to me"
50:51They almost become jealous of their children
50:54so they try to sabotage their childhood
50:56or they try to,
50:57"You're going to experience what I had to experience
50:59because why am I the only one
51:01who had to go through that
51:02So then they traumatize their children
51:05but I feel like you should look at it and be like,
51:07you want to give your child the childhood
51:09you never had
51:10Something beautiful
51:11You have a chance to even relive your own childhood
51:14with your child
51:15True
51:17You're a very smart person
51:19Thank you
51:19You probably know that
51:21I'm just telling you
51:22No, thank you, I appreciate that
51:24No, you are very sharp
51:26You see things from a certain angle
51:29What you just said, it's the first time I heard it
51:31and it makes a lot of sense
51:33how maybe a traumatized parent
51:37feels jealous of the children
51:39of his children
51:40if they're safe and not having as much trauma as them
51:43I've never thought of it that way
51:45It makes a lot of sense
51:47That's fucked up but it makes sense
51:51You said that
51:53seeing your disabled brother
51:55getting abused by your father
51:56was one of the most heartbreaking
51:58moments of your childhood
51:59What happened?
52:03Man, these questions
52:05I'm going to take it and I'm going to rip them
52:07We can burn it together later
52:09Let's burn it
52:11We attack them today
52:13and then we can fucking burn all of them
52:15Because now maybe they're hidden somewhere here
52:18Let's attack them
52:19and we talk about them and you release them
52:22and then we burn all of these
52:24Yes
52:25Yes
52:26So, that was another instance where
52:29my older brother has
52:30He has polio
52:32He can still walk on his own and all these things
52:34but like mentally,
52:37he's very smart still but he's kind of childish
52:41I would say he has autism
52:43very similar to autistic people
52:49He doesn't remember things as sharp
52:51and all these things
52:52His brain isn't the best
52:55but my dad basically went somewhere
52:58with my older brother
53:03and suddenly, we were at home
53:05we were in the apartment
53:06and we hear someone in the street screaming
53:10crying outside
53:12and we all go to the window and we're like,
53:15"What's happening?"
53:16People were looking outside
53:17and then I see it's my brother
53:19My brother walking home crying
53:28then we open the door
53:30and my brother
53:32his shirt was ripped
53:33he has blood and all these things
53:36We were like "What happened?"
53:38and basically
53:39My dad in the car asked him to read Surah al Fatihah
53:44and he couldn't read it well
53:47He doesn't remember and he was reading things wrong
53:52so my dad beat him up for that
53:54and yes, he just
53:58He was standing at the door
54:03Yes
54:06You remember this?
54:07Yes
54:11And was he confused?
54:13He was crying and it breaks my heart because
54:16when he cries
54:17it's like he's, screaming, crying
54:28I just really don't understand
54:31how you can do that to someone
54:34and I'm very happy that I don't understand
54:39but like the injustice that I saw with my siblings
54:44and with my mom
54:45I didn't even care ever about myself
54:47what he was doing to me,
54:48I didn't even care
54:50but seeing that
54:54that really made me very, very angry
54:56and that's one of the reasons
54:58that I will never speak to my dad again
55:01never
55:03Is he alive?
55:04Yes, unfortunately
55:10You don't forgive him?
55:12No
55:13You think they say that
55:16I don't have the answer
55:18Do you think that if you don't forgive,
55:20you suffer?
55:21No
55:22Do you believe that idea?
55:23The idea that you need to forgive
55:24No, honestly
55:26I feel like you don't need to forgive everyone
55:30You can just leave them where they are
55:32and that's it
55:33I don't need to think,
55:37"We're all good now and whatever"
55:39I can move on without ever
55:42If you die today,
55:44that's a good day for me
55:45that's really how I feel
55:47Some people,
55:48I don't believe there's rehabilitation for them
55:52I don't believe that they can be fixed
55:54So
55:55and I don't believe everyone deserves your forgiveness either
55:58I think this is such a glamorized idea
56:01"We should just forgive everyone"
56:03but I don't believe
56:04that's justified
56:05and I believe like
56:07some people that are a victim of that person
56:11it's almost like you're pushing that on them
56:13"You should forgive'
56:14Oftentimes even people, they tell me like,
56:17"Oh yes,
56:18but he's your father"
56:20So he deserves to,
56:21"You have to forgive him"
56:23"And he didn't know any better"
56:25but that's not an excuse
56:28because if I today do the same thing to my child
56:30for example
56:31or if I go and I just abuse people and stuff
56:34am I allowed forgiveness?
56:37Should I expect that from people?
56:38No, you know?
56:41I agree
56:42I just think they glamorize it
56:44"Let's just forgive and forget"
56:46It's easy to say this
56:47It's very easy to say
56:49Let me see somebody rape your child
56:51and let's be cool with that
56:52"Just forgive"
56:54No, I think certain things
56:56It might sound harsh
56:57I think certain types of humans are just too evil
57:00and too broken
57:02that they're just not good for this planet
57:06like a pedophile,
57:07am I supposed to be like...
57:08"Put him back into society"
57:10I don't believe you can rehabilitate those people
57:13This guy is molesting or harassing
57:15or raping a child and destroying a whole future
57:19and I'm supposed to be like,
57:20"I should forgive that
57:21he just raped six kids in a fucking nursery"
57:24That's crazy
57:25How am I supposed to be okay?
57:26But I feel like it's also
57:27people that haven't really experienced severe
57:31types of abuse, that tell you
57:33you should forgive
57:34"But you go through it first"
57:36"You go through it,
57:38and you try"
57:39There's also this thing with
57:41Do you know Gypsy Rose Blanchard?
57:43So, basically Gypsy Rose she was a victim of
57:47Munchausen by proxy
57:49It's basically where
57:51your parents, it was her mom in this case
57:54She would make her ill
57:56So she would
57:58extract her teeth
57:59she would do all of these things
58:01and constantly go to the hospital with her
58:03she would shave her head and pretend that she has chemo
58:06and this disease where they basically
58:10keep you as a hostage
58:12and abuse you and make you ill
58:14but she basically took away her whole childhood
58:17That girl didn't have a childhood
58:19She always had her hair shaved
58:21Her teeth were gone
58:23She was always doing surgeries
58:25and always on this medication that she didn't need
58:27She was a healthy child
58:29but her mom was so mentally unwell
58:31that she did that to her
58:32and then unfortunately she ended up
58:37making her boyfriend stab her mom to death
58:40which is horrible
58:42horrible thing to do
58:43but what people don't understand
58:46because people
58:47a lot of people attack her for it
58:48and they're like,
58:49"You're a murderer. How dare you do that?"
58:51But what people don't understand
58:53when you live with an abusive parent
58:56that is a danger to you
58:58That is not your parent
59:00So many times,
59:02me and my brothers
59:03So, my dad used to travel
59:04we used to pray that his plane would crash
59:08Because if he was to die
59:10then we were finally relieved of our suffering
59:12and there was no other way out for us
59:14because we weren't allowed to call the police
59:17We weren't allowed to do anything
59:18So it was either this guy is one day going to kill us
59:21or he has to go
59:25Obviously, you shouldn't go and murder people
59:28I don't agree with that
59:29But can I understand in a way
59:32how she thought that that was her only way out?
59:35Yes, I can understand her
59:37Do I think it's right? No
59:39But from an abuse child's perspective
59:41that has gone through that, do I get it?
59:46I didn't know about the story
59:54I noticed in your videos
59:56you don't refer to him as "dad"
59:58You refer to him as "My mother's husband"
1:00:01Did you notice that?
1:00:02Yes
1:00:03Is it a conscious thing or you just say it like that?
1:00:06No
1:00:07It's conscious
1:00:08I don't think he's a dad
1:00:11in order to be a father
1:00:13it's not just because you had sex with someone
1:00:15now you have a child
1:00:17that doesn't make you a father
1:00:18A father shows up
1:00:19A father protects their children
1:00:21A father provides for his family
1:00:23That's a real father
1:00:24He's not a father
1:00:25It's just a sperm cell, to be honest
1:00:30A husband
1:00:33He couldn't even be a husband
1:00:36I read about a Mini Cooper story
1:00:39Yes
1:00:39Tell me about that one
1:00:41That was another thing where
1:00:45basically, I used to..
1:00:47The last few years
1:00:49before I started my TikTok, actually
1:00:52I worked in a restaurant
1:00:54I was really a hard worker
1:00:56I used to go to school
1:00:58wake up 6:00 AM
1:01:00I go to school until 05:00 PM
1:01:02then I change clothes into
1:01:04my bar outfit that I had at restaurant
1:01:06and then I would drive to my work
1:01:08and I would work there to like
1:01:111:00 AM, something like that
1:01:13and then every time I used to come from work
1:01:16Because sometimes I was late
1:01:17because I had to overwork
1:01:19my dad would beat me up
1:01:21Because I was late home
1:01:23but the issue was if I didn't want to stay late
1:01:25and I don't want to finish my job
1:01:27my boss was going to fire me
1:01:29and I needed money
1:01:30So I was in between two
1:01:33So I was like, "Okay,
1:01:33I'll accept the beating, at least I can keep my job"
1:01:37But then it was like just at one point where
1:01:41I was driving home again
1:01:43So many missed calls
1:01:45"Where are you?"
1:01:45and I was driving home from work
1:01:47and he was standing at the
1:01:49crossroads waiting for me
1:01:51to beat me up again
1:01:53so then he stepped into my car
1:01:56and he starts yelling at me
1:01:59yelling all these things
1:02:01and it's a small car
1:02:02Something just snapped in my head
1:02:05and I literally started seeing
1:02:09black in front of my eyes
1:02:11and I just pressed on the gas pedal
1:02:13and I was literally
1:02:14I'm going to crash into a tree
1:02:18Because I literally thought like,
1:02:21"At least my siblings can be done with him"
1:02:24and like I'm done with him
1:02:27But then he got really scared
1:02:29So he started yelling, "Let me out!''
1:02:31and I couldn't see straight anymore
1:02:33but this is what people don't understand
1:02:35You push people
1:02:36to their limits and then they
1:02:39do something
1:02:39and everyone looks at that person and they're like,
1:02:41"Why did they do that?"
1:02:42They don't see all the things you did to them
1:02:45They don't look at that
1:02:47They only look at your reaction once you react
1:02:51So, that's why with abused children, it's very
1:02:55dangerous what these parents are doing
1:02:57Literally,
1:02:58some of these abuse children
1:03:00become abusers themselves
1:03:01huge abusers, you know
1:03:02and they do the same thing to generations onwards
1:03:05So, it really needs to stop
1:03:07It's very very dangerous
1:03:09And this is why I'm talking a lot about your childhood
1:03:13So, I hope you pardon me on that
1:03:16because I'm sure people watching this
1:03:19some of them are facing abuse or they've seen it
1:03:21at least seen it
1:03:22and I do think parents are creating monsters
1:03:26They are
1:03:27When you see genocide in the world,
1:03:29when you see rape,
1:03:30when you see people with crazy
1:03:32just killing people around the world
1:03:34You're like, "Who kills children?'
1:03:36for example
1:03:37you know
1:03:38but you have to rewind
1:03:40and you would probably find out
1:03:43they created a monster somewhere in the childhood
1:03:45You created a psycho
1:03:47and it all starts at that foundation
1:03:49and if like you said
1:03:50nobody's talking about it
1:03:51nobody's bringing awareness to it
1:03:53it's just going to keep doing this
1:03:56I had
1:03:57a very respected
1:04:00guest
1:04:01on #ABtalks
1:04:02We have a series called "Untold Stories"
1:04:04for not the famous people
1:04:06but normal people with great stories or crazy stories
1:04:08and she talked about being
1:04:11sexually harassed at nine years old
1:04:13by this guy
1:04:15from their family
1:04:16and the way people attacked her
1:04:19Oh, always
1:04:20She's shocked
1:04:22Of course, there are
1:04:23a lot of girls that reached out to her
1:04:24and they're like, "Thank you"
1:04:26I'm sure that you get that
1:04:28"Thank you for speaking out,
1:04:29it made me strong,
1:04:30it made me feel hope"
1:04:32That side is great
1:04:34Then there are the people that are like,
1:04:35"Shame on you"
1:04:36"Why would you embarrass his family?"
1:04:40Then I'm like,
1:04:41"Are you actually justifying?"
1:04:43"And shaming the person who had so much courage
1:04:47to speak in front of a fucking camera
1:04:50about something that can affect her,
1:04:52affect her family, affect her reputation"
1:04:54It takes a lot
1:04:55You need to respect
1:04:57and admire that
1:04:58because she didn't need to
1:05:00She can stay quiet and I can't say anything
1:05:03but they shamed her so much about it
1:05:05and I'm like, "Come on, guys
1:05:06this is why abusers stay"
1:05:08Of course
1:05:09Because you're protecting them
1:05:12I feel that especially in my culture
1:05:16and in these type of cultures
1:05:18it's like the shame is on you if you talk about it
1:05:21because they have learned to
1:05:24shut up and don't speak about their abuse
1:05:26and it's also so normalized
1:05:28beating your children in our culture is so normalized
1:05:31The fact that I even speak about this is
1:05:33"Yes, but that's normal"
1:05:34Even men they're like,
1:05:36"My dad beat me
1:05:37and that's normal"
1:05:38But why is this so normalized in our society?
1:05:42Because, now
1:05:43we have people that become seriously mentally ill
1:05:47or like you said
1:05:48they do the same thing to other people
1:05:50and then if we look back we can always trace it back
1:05:52to something that had happened
1:05:53in childhood
1:05:54because I don't believe a child is born evil
1:05:59I do believe that some mental illnesses
1:06:01you have, when you're born
1:06:03- Inherited - Probably, yes
1:06:04But a lot of it is also nurture
1:06:06and how you raise the child
1:06:08- It's a combo - And all these things
1:06:09I think so
1:06:10Especially in in these type of cultures,
1:06:13they need to change this mindset
1:06:15Your child is not your punching bag
1:06:17and especially for the victims of this abuse
1:06:20for these children, the shame is not with you
1:06:23the shame is with your abuser
1:06:24but oftentimes
1:06:25even me myself, I told my friend
1:06:27I was like,
1:06:28"I feel really ashamed"
1:06:31when I speak about these things
1:06:33because I'm almost too vulnerable
1:06:35and I feel like people can attack me there
1:06:39But then she told me,
1:06:41"You know, Liz
1:06:42even though you might feel ashamed,
1:06:44you make a lot of other people in the same situation
1:06:47feel seen"
1:06:49True
1:06:49"And that's what you should do it for"
1:06:51"Not for those people who are going to
1:06:52use it against, you manipulate you, whatever"
1:06:56So, yes
1:06:58But I do put myself in
1:06:59a dangerous situation
1:07:01where people that watch my content
1:07:02let's say a guy, he watches my content
1:07:05He realizes,
1:07:06"Oh, she's been abused by her father"
1:07:08and they want to manipulate me
1:07:10It's very easy to play into that
1:07:15But you're getting smarter
1:07:16Yes, now I am
1:07:18Life is teaching me
1:07:23You said,
1:07:24so many "You said"
1:07:27One more you said
1:07:29"My life started when my father cheated on my mother"
1:07:33Yes
1:07:34What did you mean?
1:07:36So when I was 19 years old,
1:07:38my dad, he was always cheating on my mom
1:07:40but he finally
1:07:42cheated really good and he got another wife
1:07:45and my mom figured out he had a second wife
1:07:48and he basically wanted to keep my mom
1:07:51and have a second wife
1:07:52but at that point
1:07:53my mom was like, "I'm done"
1:07:54"Leave"
1:07:56And finally when he left
1:07:58we were allowed to have freedom
1:08:00So like that was the first time I was allowed to travel
1:08:04I was allowed to date
1:08:06It was like my life opened up
1:08:07all of a sudden from
1:08:08no freedom to now I have freedom
1:08:10So you left the house, all of you?
1:08:13No,
1:08:13we didn't leave the house
1:08:14but I started to travel
1:08:16I started dating people
1:08:18So he doesn't have control
1:08:19Or he's in the other house?
1:08:20He went to live in another country with his wife
1:08:23So he started a new family
1:08:25So it was like, "Wow
1:08:26finally God heard our prayers
1:08:28This guy is gone"
1:08:29Even my brothers, everyone was very,
1:08:31very happy
1:08:33How sad is it
1:08:34that you're happy that a father disappears?
1:08:38rather than the opposite
1:08:40Usually a father disappears, or a mother disappears
1:08:42you're like, "I miss them"
1:08:43"I hope they're back"
1:08:44- No - It's the opposite
1:08:44That was the best thing for us
1:08:48It was very traumatizing as well
1:08:50because like
1:08:50imagine you never really had freedom
1:08:53and suddenly you get freedom
1:08:54Like a culture shock
1:08:55And you're like, "Oh wow"
1:08:57"What do I do now?"
1:08:59My first thought was, "Okay
1:09:00I can finally have a social media
1:09:02now I need to make money"
1:09:03Because I wasn't allowed to have social media before
1:09:06so then
1:09:06I immediately start social media and all these things
1:09:09and thank God
1:09:11everything went very well for me
1:09:13That's how you started The Wizard Liz?
1:09:15Yes
1:09:16Why did you start it?
1:09:17I started it because I wanted to make money
1:09:21Honestly, that was the reason
1:09:23Because my mom, I needed to pay off her house
1:09:25I needed to help her with money
1:09:27So I knew that
1:09:27you can make a lot of money with social media
1:09:29that's why I started
1:09:31but I always also wanted to help people
1:09:34that has always been my goal
1:09:35I want to help people
1:09:37I want to make them believe in themselves more
1:09:39to motivate them, all these things
1:09:41and especially women
1:09:43because I saw my mom struggle so much
1:09:46and everyone in my culture
1:09:47Women are really seen as not worthy at all
1:09:51honor killings
1:09:53Women are not valued at all
1:09:55So I really wanted to awaken women to their power
1:09:58and who they really are
1:10:00and I really feel like if you are secure in yourself
1:10:03as a man, for example
1:10:05you will not be threatened by a woman that is
1:10:08that wants to feel powerful
1:10:11or that wants to awaken other women
1:10:14which is also
1:10:14I have a lot of male followers that watch my content
1:10:17and they really like it
1:10:18They always come up to me
1:10:19"I love your content"
1:10:21But then you have
1:10:22these other ones that obviously feel threatened
1:10:24because if your only power
1:10:26comes from putting someone else down,
1:10:29then you're not powerful
1:10:30True
1:10:32You're probably an emotional dictator
1:10:35Yes
1:10:37You said, "I wanted to help women"
1:10:42Yes
1:10:43Who helped Liz?
1:10:47I don't know
1:10:48I feel like I helped myself a lot
1:10:51Are you trying to be to women
1:10:53what you needed to be for you?
1:10:54Yes
1:10:55I always think about this
1:10:57"If I was younger and I had The Wizard Liz,
1:11:01how much that would have helped me!"
1:11:03I would have been my biggest fan
1:11:06I would have watched every video, everything
1:11:09Because
1:11:10seeing also someone talk about abuse
1:11:12and all these things so openly
1:11:14I never saw that
1:11:15and especially I feel like also
1:11:17in Muslim culture
1:11:18it's so demonized to talk about these things
1:11:21because you have shame
1:11:24all these honor, and all these things
1:11:26Seeing that,
1:11:29it would have broken a lot of stereotypes for me
1:11:31and I feel like I would have been like,
1:11:33"Oh, I can accomplish that too"
1:11:35The bigger question
1:11:38is that actually Islamic?
1:11:40Or is it culture that is dressed
1:11:43with religion?
1:11:44I do think religion influences culture
1:11:46so there is like a little bit of both
1:11:49but I do think that for example,
1:11:51if you look at Islam itself
1:11:53I think
1:11:53a lot of things are very beautiful in the religion
1:11:57but I don't think that any religion or anything
1:12:00I can fully ever agree with
1:12:04And I think also if you are
1:12:05truly an intelligent person,
1:12:07you can take criticism about anything
1:12:10like for example,
1:12:10if you look at spirituality
1:12:12I don't agree with everything there
1:12:13but I like it and
1:12:15I believe it, I think it's a beautiful way of life
1:12:17But I think these people that
1:12:19for example, they take a religion and they say,
1:12:22"I am this religion"
1:12:23and they are like
1:12:25very religious person
1:12:26they make that their character
1:12:27or you have someone that comes from a country
1:12:29they're a nationalist
1:12:31and they make that their character
1:12:32But it's like, "Who are you outside of those things?"
1:12:35Or people that take their sexuality and they're like,
1:12:38"I'm this. This is my character"
1:12:40But it's like, "Who are you without those things?"
1:12:43And a lot of these things you didn't even choose
1:12:46It's like somebody who's tall
1:12:48who brags that they're tall
1:12:51"You were born tall
1:12:52It's not like you earned it"
1:12:54Even I feel sometimes there is a lot of
1:12:57although I don't talk about religion in the show
1:12:59but I'm talking now on a general scheme
1:13:01I do believe there is religious racism
1:13:06where every religion thinks they're the chosen ones
1:13:09and everybody else is not
1:13:10And I'm like,
1:13:11to each their own
1:13:13If whatever you pray to
1:13:15makes you feel like a better person
1:13:17and you are a better person,
1:13:18good for you
1:13:19I'm happy with mine
1:13:20I hope you're happy with yours
1:13:21I don't need to start to shame you
1:13:24"Oh you're a loser and I'm the winner"
1:13:26Why does it have to be?
1:13:27I never understood that
1:13:29I think that's the biggest ego because I feel like people
1:13:31a lot of people not all of them
1:13:34they become religious and they're like
1:13:35they have bigger ego now
1:13:37but your ego should get smaller
1:13:39the closer you are to God
1:13:40If you're truly spiritual,
1:13:43you like humans
1:13:44you're a nice person
1:13:45you like animals, you treat people well
1:13:47you have good manners
1:13:48you don't look down on to people like,
1:13:50"Oh, look at Liz"
1:13:53"She's always...'
1:13:54Why are you looking down?
1:13:55Who gave you that authority to judge?
1:13:58If we say only God can judge,
1:14:00now why are you judging?
1:14:01But that is so funny
1:14:02because like a lot of religions use that
1:14:05"Oh but I'm advising
1:14:06and I'm allowed to advise you"
1:14:08But it's like, "No, you're judging"
1:14:09It's entitlement
1:14:11How can I advise you
1:14:14because look,
1:14:14if we're going to talk about advising
1:14:16and judging,
1:14:17to do that
1:14:19you automatically think "I'm better"
1:14:21If I have to advise you on how to run a business,
1:14:23I think I know your business better
1:14:26And you didn't maybe even ask me
1:14:28But if you're like, "Anas,
1:14:29I have an agency, how can I do an agency?"
1:14:31I'm like, "From my experience,
1:14:33this worked, I don't know if it's going to work for you
1:14:34but it worked"
1:14:35You're like, "Oh thanks"
1:14:37But if I come to you with this high horse
1:14:40attitude
1:14:41I already think I'm winning better than you
1:14:43and I'm a better human than you
1:14:45so that is against spirituality and religiousness
1:14:49because nobody has a guarantee
1:14:51Nobody knows how do you seem to God
1:14:54Are you a good person?
1:14:55Are you bad inside?
1:14:56You look a good on the society
1:14:58but are you dirty in the inside?
1:15:00And we know a lot of examples
1:15:03This, for me
1:15:04I think
1:15:05My mother simplified it
1:15:07earlier in my life
1:15:09She said, "Your religion
1:15:10s between you and your Creator
1:15:12and it's a vertical line"
1:15:15It's this way, the channel is this way
1:15:17Liz and up
1:15:19"Your manners are like this"
1:15:22So I don't mind whatever you want to do
1:15:24It's your choice
1:15:26There are people who pray to this
1:15:28There are people who believe this
1:15:30It's your personal choice
1:15:32Why am I jumping?
1:15:33"No, you don't go this way"
1:15:35It's your channel
1:15:36I care how you come here,
1:15:38how you treat me,
1:15:39how you treat people, are you rude?
1:15:40Are you nice to me?
1:15:42Are you polite?
1:15:43That's what I care about
1:15:45That's what affects me
1:15:47but people don't
1:15:49They need to intrude
1:15:54At one point, you said,
1:15:57that making money became an obsession for you
1:15:59I think you explained it
1:16:00but there's something that I want to bring up
1:16:03because it was extremely strong
1:16:06You said something about,
1:16:07I don't want to say it
1:16:07I'd rather you say it
1:16:09You said something about Band-Aids
1:16:12Do you remember?
1:16:14I thought, yes
1:16:15I think I said that in a podcast
1:16:17Yes, it was really nice
1:16:19I can repeat it
1:16:20You said,
1:16:22"I couldn't heal my family
1:16:25but at least I could afford a band aid
1:16:27over their wounds"
1:16:30That was so well said
1:16:33Do you remember that?
1:16:34Why would you say that?
1:16:36Well,
1:16:36I think that was my reasoning and I thought like
1:16:42money is going to fix at least something here
1:16:46and it did
1:16:46It fixed a lot
1:16:48It took away a lot of stress
1:16:49A lot of problems
1:16:51Obviously money doesn't fix everything
1:16:54but at the end of the day,
1:16:56it was a tool that I could use to help my family
1:17:01And yes, I'm happy
1:17:04How's your mom's mental health now?
1:17:06My mom is really good
1:17:08She's a very positive person
1:17:11So she goes through life being very positive
1:17:13She's very much like me, actually
1:17:16We're very much the same
1:17:17People used to always call her "a fairy"
1:17:22But I do know that a lot of things have affected her
1:17:25with the war and then my dad
1:17:27and then everything she went through
1:17:32I almost
1:17:34I had this
1:17:35thing where
1:17:37she came to visit me in the United States
1:17:40and I was
1:17:41making TikToks and I was making videos
1:17:44and I saw my mom
1:17:46she was like standing in the corner and she was
1:17:49looking at me and I
1:17:51I felt like a sadness from her
1:17:54but not like as in
1:17:56she feels bad or whatever
1:17:58but it was like a sadness of
1:18:00a life that she never got to live
1:18:03because she lived for her reputation
1:18:06and what she had to do and she had to be the wife
1:18:08and she never got out of that abusive cycle
1:18:12and when I catch a glimpse of that
1:18:14later, I really went to bed
1:18:16and I started crying because I thought
1:18:19if there was a door I could walk out of,
1:18:23and they say, "If you walk out of this door,
1:18:26you will not exist, I will not exist
1:18:29but my mom gets to live the life that she wants"
1:18:32I would walk out of that door immediately
1:18:34It really hurt me to know that
1:18:40she never got to live the life that she wanted
1:18:42she never got to have the freedom that she wanted
1:18:45and all because of what?
1:18:47Trying to be a good woman?
1:18:49trying to
1:18:49so that other people will view you as a good woman?
1:18:52Or that you endure things?
1:18:55What did you live for?
1:18:56For culture or societal approval?
1:19:00How many women are in situations right now
1:19:03that are living like this?
1:19:04That are just staying and staying because they are
1:19:07scared of what their family will say?
1:19:09They're scared of what society will say about them
1:19:12But at the end of the day,
1:19:13you're going to be old tomorrow
1:19:16and you have lived your life for other people
1:19:20That's the saddest way to live your life
1:19:23seriously
1:19:26I come from a culture, I told you this before
1:19:28where I'm not allowed on social media
1:19:30It's very dangerous for my life
1:19:33I get death threats all the time
1:19:34and literally when I was starting out
1:19:38my family was telling me, "Liz
1:19:40if you do this,
1:19:41you're going to put us all in danger"
1:19:43"You'll have to stop"
1:19:45"You can't do social media"
1:19:47"You have to stop"
1:19:48and I was doing my YouTube already then
1:19:50and I literally told my
1:19:53siblings and my family,
1:19:55"I would rather die than not
1:19:57live the life that I choose"
1:20:00and I meant that
1:20:01I was willing to die for this
1:20:04and I still am
1:20:06Really, this is for me
1:20:08not even about money anymore
1:20:10and all these things
1:20:11I really feel like I have a purpose
1:20:15and I really want to awaken people
1:20:18because I feel like
1:20:19so much fear is instilled in people
1:20:22and so much of their own power is going away
1:20:25Meanwhile, they're not living
1:20:28All of them are not living
1:20:29and they don't even care to see
1:20:30what is really going on
1:20:32So I really want to awaken people to realize
1:20:36"You can do this yourself"
1:20:39"You can change your life once you believe in yourself
1:20:41once you stop giving all of your power
1:20:43away to all of these other things"
1:20:45How many, for example
1:20:46women do we have
1:20:48whose only goal in life is she has to get married?
1:20:51and be a wife?
1:20:53What a sad way to live!
1:20:54Honestly, I think it's beautiful if that's
1:20:56what you want to do
1:20:58but just to be a wife to someone
1:21:01Who are you as a woman?
1:21:03You're so powerful
1:21:04You can accomplish anything you want
1:21:07and also still be a wife if that's what you want to be
1:21:10but I feel like so many cultures just
1:21:13appreciate you as a woman
1:21:15or they put
1:21:15value on you when you are a wife of someone
1:21:19or when you are a mother of someone
1:21:22but you are literally a creator
1:21:25and I don't even understand how in society
1:21:28we told women to submit to the creation
1:21:32When does the creator submit to the creation?
1:21:36That's not normal
1:21:38I think,
1:21:40I'm really concerned with the way the world is
1:21:43and I think everything is very backwards
1:21:46and I think it's not even good for men
1:21:48the way that the world is right now
1:21:51Because for example
1:21:53we raise men without any boundaries
1:21:56a lot of cultures raise men without any boundaries
1:21:59We say, "The woman has the honor of the family
1:22:01She needs to stay home
1:22:02She can't go outside
1:22:03You can't date
1:22:04You can't do this
1:22:05You have to protect the honor"
1:22:07So we raise these young girls
1:22:09to become very mature
1:22:11from a very young age
1:22:12What happens is they become like mothers
1:22:14from a young age
1:22:15They become very self-disciplined
1:22:17and very emotionally intelligent
1:22:19then you have these boys,
1:22:21"You do whatever you want"
1:22:22They're not being raised
1:22:23so they don't learn any skills
1:22:25They do they just have no boundaries
1:22:27They do whatever they want
1:22:28Now you have women that are very mature
1:22:31at a young age
1:22:32and you have men
1:22:33that are like children
1:22:35and they're supposed to date and procreate
1:22:37Relationships don't work
1:22:39Because now you have a mother and child dynamic
1:22:42where the woman is oftentimes again
1:22:44having to reteach this boy
1:22:47still how to be a man
1:22:49and it's really because of the parents
1:22:52because at the end of the day
1:22:53they always say, "Oh, yes
1:22:54but he's a man
1:22:55he's a boy
1:22:56boys will be boys"
1:22:58It's like, "No
1:22:58You didn't teach your son boundaries
1:23:01you didn't say 'No
1:23:02you can't just sleep around with everyone"
1:23:04"You can't just go wherever you want"
1:23:06"You also have a curfew, go home"
1:23:08You don't teach them boundaries
1:23:10so they become older and they
1:23:13just don't care about anything
1:23:15It's not good for them
1:23:17They don't have skills
1:23:19It's really not good for these men
1:23:21That's why
1:23:21the suicide rates for men are super high
1:23:24A lot of things you can see they're not happy
1:23:27even themselves
1:23:29We come back to creating monsters
1:23:33You create a monster
1:23:35the factory of a monster is the house
1:23:37Yes
1:23:39You can have a toxic human that you leave on this planet
1:23:42and you die
1:23:43or a good human
1:23:46There are a lot of double standards
1:23:51Yes, it's funny because, look
1:23:52If you listen to a typical conversation
1:23:55Me and you are in an event
1:23:57and we're standing not next to each other
1:23:59and we start to have conversations
1:24:01The man, I'll get a question
1:24:04"What do you do?"
1:24:05"That's fantastic, you do what you love?"
1:24:09Let's take you
1:24:10"What do you do? Are you married?"
1:24:13And you're like, "No"
1:24:14"Oh no"
1:24:16"I hope one day you get married"
1:24:17"Bye bye"
1:24:19Let's say you say, "Yes, I'm married"
1:24:21I'm like, "Do you have children?"
1:24:22You're like "No", I'm like,
1:24:24Suddenly your stock is going down
1:24:27in a most small talk event
1:24:31And the set of questions
1:24:32that get asked to a man are very
1:24:35different than the default set of questions
1:24:36that a woman gets asked
1:24:38A man is judged on what position he does
1:24:40or what he does for a living
1:24:41which is fine
1:24:43But then
1:24:43why are you tying a woman's worth or value or success
1:24:47She could be the greatest athlete
1:24:50She's in the Olympics
1:24:51As soon as she says she doesn't have love or marriage
1:24:55stock goes down
1:24:56What if she never found somebody good?
1:24:57What if she doesn't like it?
1:24:59She doesn't like it
1:25:01Then okay,
1:25:01let's say she's married
1:25:03and then you say,
1:25:04"But you don't have kids?" She's like, "No"
1:25:06and you're like...
1:25:07Now, what if she doesn't feel ready to be a parent?
1:25:09What if she doesn't like children?
1:25:11She doesn't like
1:25:12She's one of those people that she's like,
1:25:13"I don't want to have children"
1:25:15Why does everybody have to love to have kids?
1:25:17And why should I be now judged and assessed
1:25:20on being a mother?
1:25:21"I don't want to be a mother"
1:25:22"Do you want me to be an abusive mother?"
1:25:24An absent mother?
1:25:25Yes, exactly
1:25:27You said the world is backwards
1:25:31I believe we're asking the wrong questions
1:25:33So, I remember once
1:25:35I said the question to a lady named Pia on this show
1:25:40years back and after the interview
1:25:43She's like, "Thank you for asking it the way you asked"
1:25:45I didn't know
1:25:46I'm like, "Which question?"
1:25:47She goes, "You asked me
1:25:49would you like to have children?"
1:25:51For me, it was natural I didn't think of it
1:25:54She's like, "You didn't say "Do you have children?"
1:25:56"Are you going to have children?"
1:25:58"You said,
1:25:58"Would you like to have children?"
1:26:00And then I thought of my question
1:26:01I'm like, "Oh, yes
1:26:02that's nicer"
1:26:03Because maybe somebody doesn't want
1:26:05Exactly
1:26:06Why am I like...
1:26:07She doesn't want
1:26:09Now I'm going to make you feel like
1:26:10What if a woman can't have children?
1:26:12Exactly
1:26:12Now I just reminded her, "You can't"
1:26:14by the way
1:26:15and she doesn't need to tell me, "I can't have children"
1:26:17It's very intrusive
1:26:19So it's the wrong question
1:26:22Let's say again
1:26:23I'll shut up after this
1:26:25I want to hear
1:26:27We ask Sarah
1:26:29"Sarah, are you married?"
1:26:30"Yes" Check
1:26:31and I move on
1:26:32The question is, "Are you happy?"
1:26:34Yes
1:26:35What if?
1:26:36Because I didn't ask the right question
1:26:37She just said, "I'm married"
1:26:39I'm like, "Check"
1:26:40But what if she's in the worst marriage?
1:26:43Yes
1:26:44That's the right question
1:26:47"Do you feel good in your job?"
1:26:48"Do you enjoy it?"
1:26:50Not "What do you do for a living?"
1:26:51I stopped asking sometimes
1:26:53I try "What is something fun you're working on?"
1:26:56Because if they don't go to work
1:26:58maybe they don't like their job and I'm reminding them
1:27:00Yes, so I'm like
1:27:01"What is something fun in your life?"
1:27:03"What are you passionate about?"
1:27:05And if they say "work" thank God
1:27:07And if they don't say "work"
1:27:08they don't want to talk about work
1:27:10So if I talk about marriage
1:27:11"Are you married?"
1:27:12What if they don't want?
1:27:14but if I'm,
1:27:15"You have someone in your life?"
1:27:17I'm like "Okay"
1:27:18and if they say yes, I'm like,
1:27:19"I hope you guys are having a healthier relationship"
1:27:22"Are you happy?"
1:27:23"Does he make you a better person?"
1:27:25Those are the questions
1:27:27that actually matter
1:27:29I agree
1:27:29I had a beautiful guest
1:27:31who's a divorce lawyer
1:27:33and he said
1:27:33Oh, I love him
1:27:34- I know that guy - He's great
1:27:35You have to watch the episode
1:27:37And he goes,
1:27:38"The question is Why do you want.."
1:27:39"I want to get married"
1:27:41Why?
1:27:42Yes
1:27:43You ask girls today and guys
1:27:44but maybe more girls
1:27:46"I would just want to find out"
1:27:47Why?
1:27:49"Because I want to have kids"
1:27:50Wrong answer
1:27:52" I want to get married to have kids"
1:27:53"So I don't care about a good man
1:27:57or the healthiest compatible man
1:27:59I want a means to a goal
1:28:02No
1:28:03Why do you want to get married?
1:28:04"I want to settle down"
1:28:06"I don't want to spend so much on my life"
1:28:07You'll have a rich guy but what if he's a liar?
1:28:10Yes, true
1:28:11He's rich
1:28:12But he's giving you stress
1:28:13You can't sleep well
1:28:14Horrible
1:28:16Wrong answers
1:28:18"I want to get married
1:28:19because I would love to share my life and get better
1:28:21and level up"
1:28:22Now we're on to something
1:28:24"You're ready"
1:28:26I agree
1:28:27It's like a hamster wheel
1:28:30I feel that because it's like
1:28:32humans love to control
1:28:34so it's like they want you to act a certain way
1:28:38and you have to act like they all act
1:28:40because imagine that
1:28:41someone cannot be their authentic self
1:28:44and they put themselves in a box
1:28:46and now they see you
1:28:47open that box and you just
1:28:48go be whoever you are
1:28:50then I'm going to feel like, "Wait a minute
1:28:51I spent 20 years in this box
1:28:54for you to just open yours?"
1:28:55"No, get back in your box"
1:28:57"So I'm going to shame you for your choices
1:29:00because they have to align with what I did"
1:29:02So you can crawl back
1:29:03"So we suffer together"
1:29:04That's really how a lot of people think
1:29:08I agree
1:29:13It wasn't over after your dad left
1:29:17I read you had bulimia, anorexia
1:29:21severe depression
1:29:22This was after he left
1:29:24Yes
1:29:24Okay, how?
1:29:26I really think
1:29:28that the thing that I had with my eating disorders
1:29:30I was always very skinny growing up
1:29:32I was actually bullied for looking anorexic
1:29:36and then I tried to gain weight
1:29:38because I was bullied so much
1:29:40but then like I gained weight
1:29:42I thought I looked really good
1:29:44but then my mom said that I was fat
1:29:46but I was never really fat
1:29:48but my mom said I was too big
1:29:50so then I was like,
1:29:51"Oh, so now I should lose weight"
1:29:53So my whole life I was actually really
1:29:55listening to other people
1:29:56and just doing what they want
1:29:57and how they want me to be
1:29:59So then
1:30:00I'm going to be liked or then I'm going to fit in
1:30:03but that specifically
1:30:05when I had bulimia
1:30:07and my eating disorders
1:30:09after my dad left, it was more so
1:30:11because I think
1:30:12I couldn't deal with the emotions that came after
1:30:17realizing everything that had happened
1:30:19Because now
1:30:19I had to deal with 19 years of abuse that had happened
1:30:24and I wasn't ready to deal with that
1:30:26and I think especially with the bulimia
1:30:30with the anorexia
1:30:31where like I would go days without eating
1:30:33or sometimes I wouldn't even drink anything either
1:30:36I thought like
1:30:38this is going to lead to suicide
1:30:40and I wasn't trying to be skinny
1:30:41I was trying to die, actually
1:30:44I even had days where my mom would
1:30:47come into the room
1:30:48and she would check if I was still breathing
1:30:50cause I hadn't left my room
1:30:52in like two days maybe
1:30:56Yes, I remember sometimes
1:31:00my heart would start
1:31:01beating right before I went to bed
1:31:03and I was like, "Yes, tonight is the night"
1:31:05Because I felt like suicide would be bad
1:31:09because it wasn't allowed in the religion
1:31:11so I thought this is an alternative
1:31:15but I didn't die
1:31:24Now we don't have to do that again
1:31:30What shook you when you first remembered?
1:31:32Two minutes ago
1:31:34when you first said
1:31:36"I was waiting to die"
1:31:38You shook
1:31:39Your body shook for a moment
1:31:41you remembered, I think
1:31:43I think
1:31:44I just saw myself again
1:31:46in my bed
1:31:48how that felt
1:31:53Do you recognize that Liz?
1:31:56Yes
1:31:58Yes
1:31:59I feel very sad
1:32:00when I think about my younger selves
1:32:03I also think that
1:32:04your inner children never leave you
1:32:06They stay with you
1:32:07You said "children" not "child"
1:32:10- Interesting - Different types
1:32:12Let's say you have different types of traumas
1:32:15and you remember at different ages
1:32:18those are all these children
1:32:20different personalities
1:32:22Because the more you grow up
1:32:24You always are a different person
1:32:26So Liz at 3 years old
1:32:28Liz at 6 years old
1:32:29That's not the same person
1:32:30These are all different personalities
1:32:32I think they never leave you
1:32:34I think
1:32:35that's why it's very important to
1:32:37talk to yourself,
1:32:38talk to your inner children
1:32:40because I think a lot of adults
1:32:43that are almost acting crazy
1:32:45or people say they're possessed
1:32:46or something is wrong with them
1:32:47I think it's their inner children
1:32:50conflicting with each other
1:32:56I actually had a story about this
1:32:58but I don't know if I can tell it
1:32:59Tell it
1:33:01So I went on this spiritual journey
1:33:05- In Peru? - Yes, once
1:33:07And it was basically
1:33:09You went to Peru with the shamans
1:33:11Yes, with the shamans and everything
1:33:13Basically, my intention was to heal my trauma
1:33:18and suddenly I saw a vision
1:33:21and it was my dad's
1:33:23and I heard a voice say,
1:33:26"Mourn the loss of your father"
1:33:28"You never had a father, you had an abuser"
1:33:32So, then I was like "Damn"
1:33:34And then I heard another voice say
1:33:36"Mourn the loss of your childhood"
1:33:39Accept that you'll never have a childhood again
1:33:42and then suddenly what happened is
1:33:45I was like
1:33:46in third person
1:33:47almost like my soul was here
1:33:49I saw my body
1:33:51and I suddenly turned into my 3-year-old-self
1:33:56and it was so such a crazy thing
1:33:59so my 3-year-old-self is in my body
1:34:01doesn't speak English
1:34:02only speaks my homeland's language
1:34:06and
1:34:07I start crying, bawling my eyes out
1:34:09and she's crying
1:34:11and she keeps repeating
1:34:14in the language of her
1:34:16hometown,
1:34:19"Liz never got love when she was younger
1:34:22so Liz doesn't need love anymore"
1:34:25and she keeps repeating that
1:34:28and then I have my hands
1:34:30and I'm not controlling this
1:34:32My hand is moving over my head
1:34:34and someone is consoling her
1:34:36but it was so weird
1:34:38and they go like,
1:34:40"You're safe now"
1:34:42"It's not happening anymore,
1:34:44you're safe now"
1:34:45but it was my 3-year-old inner child that came up
1:34:49and then after that
1:34:50there was a 17-year-old that came up
1:34:53She had her own other issues
1:34:55She speaks different languages
1:34:56but then I realized
1:34:57our inner children are really inside of us
1:35:01It's not like, "Oh,
1:35:03it's a metaphor"
1:35:04I think these personalities stay stuck
1:35:07and once you don't deal with them
1:35:10or you don't heal them you
1:35:12start conflicting
1:35:14and you become like an adult where
1:35:17you're lost
1:35:18with how you are acting
1:35:20So it was a very interesting experience for me
1:35:23It was even crazier because the next day
1:35:26So basically
1:35:27it was like about my childhood and everything
1:35:29It was a very beautiful experience
1:35:32but the next day I went to this
1:35:34cafe and I was sitting there at the restaurant
1:35:37with my sister
1:35:38and suddenly there's this lady in front of us
1:35:41and she starts live singing
1:35:43she was singing
1:35:45The sun was setting behind her
1:35:46It was like a movie scene
1:35:48and I was looking at her
1:35:50and she starts singing for Adele
1:35:53I don't know the song
1:35:55but it's like "I knew this would be the last time
1:35:57the last time"
1:35:59and then
1:36:01a mom and dad and this
1:36:0312-year-old girl come
1:36:05and they start dancing in front of us
1:36:08and she's singing
1:36:09"I knew this would be the last time"
1:36:12and it was almost like a whole metaphor and sign of
1:36:16"Mourn the loss of your childhood"
1:36:19- Close it - Yes
1:36:21And that's how I was like
1:36:22We get so many signs every day when we live
1:36:27We just have to watch out for them
1:36:29Even if like a person comes to you
1:36:31they say something to you and you're like,
1:36:33"Oh damn,
1:36:34where did that come from?"
1:36:36Maybe he was sent to you as a sign
1:36:38or you see these things
1:36:40or you even hear something on the radio
1:36:42"Oh wait a minute"
1:36:45Good story
1:36:52When did it all change?
1:36:54You said "Blame gives your power away,
1:36:59responsibility gives it back"
1:37:01So you just talked about this realisation
1:37:03You need to close certain chapters
1:37:05you went through this bulimia
1:37:07anorexia, depression,
1:37:08wanting to die
1:37:12When did that happen? Is it slowly?
1:37:14Is it like a sudden realization?
1:37:17I was honestly
1:37:18this went on for quite a while until I realized
1:37:23How about I'm going to stop being a victim?
1:37:26That's really like what I had in my head
1:37:28"Snap out of it" because I was like,
1:37:31"Why are you victimizing yourself?"
1:37:33"Why are you feeling sorry for yourself?"
1:37:36then I was like,
1:37:37"Maybe I do have control over my life"
1:37:39"Maybe I do have control over my body"
1:37:41and from that moment on I just started slowly to
1:37:46"I'm going to go on walks now
1:37:48and I'm going to try to talk to God
1:37:50and have conversations with God
1:37:52He's my best friend"
1:37:54and then I was like,
1:37:55"I'm going to try to start eating healthy again"
1:37:57Because for me
1:37:58it was very important to break the cycle of my
1:38:01food addiction and the
1:38:03anorexia and whatever I had
1:38:04because if you can do that
1:38:07if you can break an addiction,
1:38:09you can control anything
1:38:11It's very hard to win something over your mind
1:38:17If you can control your mind like that
1:38:19you can do anything
1:38:21so I knew that once I did that
1:38:23I was on the right track
1:38:24because also it takes a lot of energy
1:38:27Addictions take a lot of energy
1:38:28All of your energy goes there
1:38:30Meanwhile, if you are a person with an addictive personality
1:38:34if you put it into something that's beneficial for you
1:38:37you can be extremely successful
1:38:38True
1:38:39It's just where you're going to direct your energy to
1:38:43So then I decided,
1:38:44"Let me direct it into social media
1:38:47Let me do things that I love more"
1:38:49and all these things
1:38:50And that's when honestly
1:38:51everything started to flourish
1:38:54When I decided I do not want to be a victim
1:38:57until this day
1:38:58I don't want to be seen as a victim because I feel like
1:39:02people are very comfortable
1:39:04in a victim mindset
1:39:05because they feel like, "Oh,
1:39:07everyone feels sorry for me"
1:39:08and even
1:39:09some people will create situations
1:39:11where they are the victim
1:39:12because then everyone can feel sorry for them
1:39:14and that's how they receive love
1:39:16or that's how they receive
1:39:18"Everything will be fine"
1:39:20But at the end of the day
1:39:21Does that really accomplish anything? No
1:39:23You're going to sit there
1:39:24You're going to find more and more excuses
1:39:26as to why your life is bad
1:39:27and why you can't accomplish anything
1:39:30And you won't accomplish anything
1:39:31but for a lot of people
1:39:33that is comfortable and that is what they want
1:39:35but for me, no
1:39:37because I knew that the more I am a victim,
1:39:39the more I'm giving my power away
1:39:42If I for example say,
1:39:43"I can't do this because my father abused me"
1:39:46then that means that my father had all the power
1:39:48and he doesn't, I have all the power
1:39:51until this day
1:39:52I have all the power
1:39:53No matter what happens to me,
1:39:54I know that I have all the power
1:39:56I can change the situation whenever I want
1:39:58and I will change the situation whenever I want
1:40:03Is that you talking to yourself?
1:40:06Maybe
1:40:07but I also really believe it
1:40:09But sometimes we have to talk to ourselves
1:40:11We need us to hear it
1:40:14So we say things we want somebody to say to us
1:40:17It also
1:40:19with the situation that happened with my ex and all these things
1:40:22it's funny cause when you were talking about
1:40:23how they ask you about marriage and then they say
1:40:26"Oh no, you failed if you didn't have a marriage"
1:40:28It's so crazy
1:40:30because with me it was like
1:40:31I've been on social media for seven years now
1:40:33I've been doing YouTube, I've been doing everything
1:40:35I built this whole empire by myself
1:40:39and then this guy comes in,
1:40:40he cheats on me, that's it
1:40:42Everyone:
1:40:43"She failed"
1:40:44Terrible
1:40:45"We shouldn't listen to her advice
1:40:46look at her"
1:40:47"He cheated on her
1:40:49so we should cancel her"
1:40:51It's so crazy that this one guy
1:40:54so irrelevant to be honest
1:40:55to the whole thing
1:40:57comes in and can just destroy that
1:40:59because people value a relationship more than they
1:41:03look at the whole person and everything
1:41:06But even in that situation,
1:41:08everyone was like
1:41:09"You should have kept that private"
1:41:11and I could have
1:41:12I could have never shared it online that he cheated
1:41:14I could have never said anything about that
1:41:16and people would till this day be like,
1:41:17"Oh goals"
1:41:18"You guys are so beautiful"
1:41:20That's also what most people do
1:41:23Most of these couples forgive each other
1:41:25they just portray a nice image
1:41:27and I get it
1:41:28because if you're truly honest on social media
1:41:31they're going to try to kill you
1:41:33They don't want that
1:41:35People say they want authenticity
1:41:37they want that, but they don't
1:41:39They want you to fit into the image
1:41:40that they have created for you
1:41:43and you have to perform like that
1:41:44almost like a monkey
1:41:45You do this
1:41:47I say, "People ask you they tell you they love honesty,
1:41:50until you're honest about them"
1:41:52Exactly
1:41:53They don't like it
1:41:54Then it's like, "This is too far"
1:41:56My therapist said something and he says
1:41:59that doesn't compliment so much
1:42:01but he said, "You're one of my few people
1:42:05that really can take anything I tell you"
1:42:07"You don't get offended"
1:42:10Because I don't, you can say "Anas,
1:42:12that's stupid" I'm like,
1:42:12"Oh really?"
1:42:13"Tell me why"
1:42:14because I respect him
1:42:16I don't get offended
1:42:18No, I'm open to it
1:42:19So I can take it...
1:42:21I think because I'm at peace with my ego
1:42:24I know I'm flawed
1:42:26You can tell me, "Anas, that looked really bad"
1:42:28I'm like, okay
1:42:29Maybe it did
1:42:30It's okay,
1:42:31it doesn't reduce my value
1:42:33Exactly
1:42:34I made a mistake
1:42:35I think that's very important
1:42:37to be open to receiving criticism
1:42:41all these things
1:42:42but a lot of people are very stupid
1:42:43I have to say, I think society in general
1:42:46a lot of people are very stupid
1:42:48that is what I find very annoying
1:42:51but also they're stupid because
1:42:53- Not stupid - It's by design
1:42:55But also it's because
1:42:57I think a lack of education
1:42:59lack of traveling
1:42:59and meeting new cultures
1:43:01that also makes you whatever
1:43:03and also
1:43:05they have a bubble and they don't leave the bubble
1:43:08And they don't want you to leave the bubble
1:43:09Yes, so it's like
1:43:10if you only surround yourself with a certain type of people
1:43:14you're going to think this is how life is
1:43:16that's why I always encourage people to travel
1:43:20I just got such a stupid example
1:43:22What?
1:43:24It's like a culture that now they all like matcha
1:43:27and we're like, "I don't like matcha"
1:43:29"You don't like matcha?"
1:43:30"How dare you?"
1:43:32It's like a zombie complex
1:43:34Now you're uncool
1:43:36I don't like it
1:43:37It's funny because all of us have to like it
1:43:39"You don't like this show?"
1:43:40"Oh my God"
1:43:41That's it, you're done
1:43:42"I can't believe you don't like it"
1:43:44I don't like it
1:43:45You have to be comfortable saying you're different
1:43:49It's not easy
1:43:50That's why I really
1:43:51grew up wanting to always fit in
1:43:54and then at some point
1:43:55I realized no one wants to take me
1:43:59I can't fit in anywhere, so I thought like
1:44:01"You know what? I don't care anymore"
1:44:03"I'm going to be my own person and that's it"
1:44:07And you'll fit with the right people then
1:44:09But even then I don't fit in
1:44:11No one accepts me
1:44:12Really?
1:44:14Often, even in the beginning of my career
1:44:17They said that I'm a closeted lesbian
1:44:19So I thought, "Oh,
1:44:21maybe I fit in here"
1:44:23I look at the comments, they say, "We don't claim her"
1:44:26I'm like, "Why?"
1:44:28"Why don't you claim me?"
1:44:31Yes, but
1:44:31I would see that some
1:44:34people would want to be your friend
1:44:36No, I do think they want to be my friends
1:44:38but I don't feel like
1:44:41there is any part that you can
1:44:43"She really belongs here"
1:44:46Even with like when people ask me
1:44:49"Where are you from?"
1:44:50I never really want to even speak about it
1:44:53because
1:44:53it doesn't matter
1:44:55I'm a person of the world
1:44:57I think you belong nowhere and everywhere
1:45:00Something like that
1:45:01Yes, exactly, that's so beautiful
1:45:09Do you hate your father?
1:45:13No
1:45:14I don't hate him
1:45:16I just don't care about him
1:45:18I think he's so irrelevant
1:45:22Do you understand why he did what he did?
1:45:25No
1:45:26I don't get it
1:45:28I can see that
1:45:30you had this childhood, etcetera
1:45:33all these things
1:45:34but especially after having my own child, no
1:45:38The fact that you would hurt a child, that you would
1:45:42beat a child, that you would beat disabled people
1:45:45No, you're insane
1:45:53Did creating The Wizard Liz heal Liz?
1:45:59I do think so, yes
1:46:03I think
1:46:04my younger self would really think I'm cool
1:46:08- That's cool - Right?
1:46:09Would your younger self think you're cool?
1:46:12I think yes
1:46:13That's good
1:46:14I think you think I'm fucking cool
1:46:15Yes, you are
1:46:17Yes
1:46:19And it's funny how you get shy
1:46:20when you compliment yourself
1:46:22Why?
1:46:23I don't know, you tell me
1:46:24You're like, "...' and then I'm like,
1:46:26Maybe I'm just a shy girl
1:46:28I think you are
1:46:29I think people don't know that you are
1:46:31but if somebody compliments you in your face
1:46:33I think you don't know what to do with yourself
1:46:36Yes
1:46:36I'm better at giving to other people
1:46:40- Giving compliments - Not receiving
1:46:42With receiving, I'm a little awkward
1:46:43I could tell
1:46:46What is one
1:46:48of the biggest misconceptions about The Wizard liz?
1:46:52Honestly,
1:46:53It's like that I'm like
1:46:56The craziest thing
1:46:57I heard is that I was a relationship coach
1:46:59and that
1:47:01I teach women how to date rich men
1:47:05Crazy
1:47:07It just started when I got cheated on
1:47:09All these people came online and they're like,
1:47:11"She was a relationship coach and that's why she failed"
1:47:13And I was like,
1:47:14"I was never a relationship coach like at all"
1:47:16I just think like when people listen to me
1:47:20for example I say,
1:47:21"Your man should provide"
1:47:23I'm not saying he should be a rich man
1:47:25like if a man is an Uber driver
1:47:28but he's coming home
1:47:29and he's helping you and the family
1:47:31that's a provider
1:47:31Correct
1:47:32If you have a rich man and he's not giving any money
1:47:35or he doesn't care about you guys
1:47:36He's not rich to me, he's a broke guy
1:47:38And he's not a provider
1:47:39He's not a provider
1:47:40Rich but not a provider
1:47:42So, that is not what I mean
1:47:44but people here think that a provider
1:47:47has to be rich, no
1:47:48Not at all
1:47:49Even all the guys that I've dated
1:47:51I made more money than them
1:47:54when I dated my ex before this one
1:47:56in the beginning, I didn't have money
1:47:58So he was making good money
1:48:01but then six months into our relationship
1:48:04my YouTube started making way more than him
1:48:08but then also the relationship started shifting
1:48:10I mean, we were together for a long time, still
1:48:13Some people don't want you to be better
1:48:14He wasn't comfortable
1:48:15He told me that, as well
1:48:16He said like, "Look,
1:48:17I don't like it"
1:48:18At least he's honest
1:48:19He was honest
1:48:20I appreciate that
1:48:22Because for example
1:48:23Because some people won't be honest about that
1:48:25they'll start jabbing at you and bringing you down
1:48:27and you're like, "Why are you upset with me??
1:48:29and you don't really know why
1:48:30I feel like my next relationship was like that
1:48:32It was like a constant competition
1:48:35I've really found it difficult with dating men
1:48:38after becoming successful because it's like
1:48:41either they see you as their competition
1:48:44or they're gold diggers
1:48:46I've never
1:48:47You know when they say that women are gold diggers?
1:48:49No,
1:48:50it's really men
1:48:51Because they will
1:48:53because if a woman if you take care of a woman
1:48:55for example, she will love you, genuinely
1:48:57You take care of her
1:48:58She will be so happy
1:48:59She will give you so much more
1:49:01But a man will
1:49:02fake his love, everything just for money
1:49:05Genuinely
1:49:06You don't think a woman would do that?
1:49:08I don't think so
1:49:09I think she would genuinely love the guy
1:49:12I think it goes both ways
1:49:13You think so?
1:49:14Some women also are very materialistic
1:49:16and some men are very materialistic
1:49:18If a woman is materialistic,
1:49:20don't you think she would still love him?
1:49:23I don't know
1:49:25I think some women are in certain marriages
1:49:27just because the guy is filthy rich
1:49:29- They're probably - Oh, yes
1:49:31They're not even in love or they don't love the guy
1:49:33but then I also think, look
1:49:34in those types of relationships
1:49:35Yes, it's transactional
1:49:37Don't you think the man also doesn't care?
1:49:38He knows, yes
1:49:39They're both cheating
1:49:40They're both the same
1:49:41Probably
1:49:42They're both not looking for love
1:49:44That's true
1:49:45They're looking for money
1:49:47One knows "I can provide
1:49:48and this makes me feel powerful"
1:49:49and the other one feels stable
1:49:51Yes, but I think every relationship is transactional
1:49:54even the ones that are based on love
1:49:56- Even friendships - Yes
1:49:57Everything is transactional
1:49:58And we should not be shy to say that
1:50:01Everything
1:50:02and I think we should be open about it
1:50:04You could say
1:50:05"This is my friend who I like to go shopping with"
1:50:07"This is my friend
1:50:07who makes me laugh when I'm feeling like shit"
1:50:10or like,
1:50:10"You make me feel less lonely"
1:50:12"You make me feel like this"
1:50:13Everything is like a transaction
1:50:15and I think a lot of people
1:50:17they just take
1:50:18"Oh, it's just love and only love"
1:50:20Only love, you will not survive
1:50:22You need loyalty
1:50:23You need respect
1:50:24Love will never be enough
1:50:26I agree
1:50:27I really believe that someone can love you
1:50:30and they can also cheat on you
1:50:32I believe this
1:50:34Because there are people that are polygamous, for example
1:50:37and they say, "But I really love the person
1:50:39but I also sleep with other people"
1:50:40I do believe they love the person
1:50:43I don't believe they're capable of being loyal
1:50:46Which for, me loyalty is more important
1:50:48Loyalty is more important than love
1:50:49If I have someone, of course
1:50:53love is a chemical
1:50:54It's very beautiful, all these things
1:50:56but oftentimes love wears out
1:50:59and it's not always
1:51:01You're not crazy in love every day
1:51:05but I feel like if you have loyalty
1:51:09and "This person is going to protect me
1:51:11"They're going to be there for me
1:51:12and they're going to respect me"
1:51:13I feel like that is something that can be consistent
1:51:17You know what's interesting?
1:51:18There was a fan account
1:51:19that made a compilation video recently
1:51:22of me asking different females
1:51:25on the show
1:51:26"What does love mean to you?"
1:51:28It's a question I like to ask
1:51:30and I think there was maybe eight women in the video
1:51:32I think six said,
1:51:34"Aman" which means safety
1:51:36Yes
1:51:36- Interesting, right? - Exactly
1:51:37Six out of eight women said that
1:51:41love is safety
1:51:42I want to feel safe
1:51:43Her nervous system feels safe
1:51:45She feels safe
1:51:46He's reliable
1:51:48He's a backbone
1:51:49He provides
1:51:51You know
1:51:52I think that's very sexy
1:51:53when a man can provide
1:51:55like you said, at any level
1:51:58he's reliable
1:51:59He makes you feel like he has your back
1:52:02I think women love that
1:52:04It makes your nervous system
1:52:08I said the something
1:52:10in both languages before
1:52:11I said,
1:52:14"When a woman is truly in love,
1:52:17she feels like a little girl
1:52:19like a princess"
1:52:20No matter how masculine of an energy she has outside
1:52:24At home
1:52:24she's a little girl
1:52:26and the same goes for a man
1:52:28A man who feels truly in love
1:52:30He feels like a little naughty boy at home
1:52:32He's pranking you
1:52:33or laughing with you, silly
1:52:36Women should understand that
1:52:38that's him really loving you
1:52:39He's so comfortable and vice versa
1:52:41if a woman feels like she's spoiled next to you
1:52:44and she's cuddly
1:52:45You should know that she feels good around you
1:52:48- I think that's safety - But if she's stern
1:52:51tough with you and she's
1:52:52trying to bash heads with you
1:52:54there's something off
1:52:55you don't make her feel safe
1:52:57or she doesn't know how to
1:52:58She's in the wrong dynamic probably
1:53:00Exactly
1:53:01I think especially in my position where
1:53:06people try to cancel you and your reputation
1:53:09all these things
1:53:09the people around you should be very loyal because
1:53:13they have to protect you
1:53:15and I feel like
1:53:17in a previous relationship that I had
1:53:19it was like my address gets leaked where I live
1:53:22and this person they do it on accident
1:53:26All my privacy suddenly can't see being online
1:53:29you're allowing these people to attack me
1:53:33and come closer to me on a personal level
1:53:35and I feel like if you truly love me
1:53:38or you care about me
1:53:39you would protect my privacy
1:53:42That was the one thing that I really looked for
1:53:46and it was like I just want to feel safe
1:53:49Who are you attracting, Liz?
1:53:50I know, horrible
1:53:51- No, horrible - You need to work on that
1:53:53I need to stop
1:53:54If you learn
1:53:55you evolve
1:53:56if you don't learn
1:53:57Like these people that keep repeating patterns
1:53:59that's the problem
1:53:59I know
1:54:00I think it's okay to go through
1:54:02an affair and then learn
1:54:03You got cheated on
1:54:04you learn
1:54:05you got through emotional abuse
1:54:06you learn
1:54:07but if you keep going to it
1:54:08then you're not learning
1:54:10No, I feel like...
1:54:11I only had like two really serious relationships
1:54:14My last one really opened my eyes
1:54:18and I feel like after that now I'm going to
1:54:21but also I hate the fact that
1:54:24You constantly have to watch out for signs
1:54:27"Oh, he says this, oh okay"
1:54:28"I need to do this"
1:54:29It's like, "Calm down,
1:54:31When can we ever enjoy?"
1:54:33all these things, because now
1:54:36it's turning into all these mind games
1:54:38that you have to play
1:54:38and who has time for that?
1:54:40I don't want to do that
1:54:41I definitely don't
1:54:42I can't stand games
1:54:44I already know that I'm in the wrong place
1:54:46if there are games
1:54:48Me too
1:54:49I already have enough stress in my life
1:54:50Yes, me too
1:54:51I even hate it when it's like,
1:54:54"Oh, don't text too fast"
1:54:56Just be straightforward
1:54:57I don't have time for this
1:54:59If I find this meme
1:55:01I'll send it to you about
1:55:02Who has time for waiting to text?
1:55:04Yes, exactly
1:55:06That's when too much ego is involved
1:55:09Because even after my previous relationship
1:55:12I still don't want to do all of that
1:55:14I have to play mind games now
1:55:16I have to be careful of this and that
1:55:18At the end of the day,
1:55:20if a person wants to cheat,
1:55:21they're going to do it anyways
1:55:23You can't control that
1:55:25No
1:55:25The only thing you can control is your reaction
1:55:28will you deal with it or will you not deal with it?
1:55:30That's it
1:55:31So I don't want to control anyone
1:55:33Do what you want to do
1:55:35On the polygamy point
1:55:37I think it was an interesting point
1:55:38and I do think sometimes
1:55:41both genders could be biologically polygamous
1:55:45Because they're based on desire
1:55:49So I just
1:55:51maybe I'll make a weird comparison
1:55:52but I'll make it
1:55:53It's kind of like your stomach
1:55:57when it's hungry
1:55:58It can eat anything
1:56:00It can be junk food
1:56:01It can eat chocolate
1:56:02It can eat salmon
1:56:03It can eat healthy
1:56:05Technically,
1:56:06you can eat anything
1:56:07because you desire food
1:56:08You're hungry
1:56:09Should you eat everything?
1:56:12Yes, exactly
1:56:13and I think women are a bit
1:56:14of course they have a different wiring than men
1:56:16Men are probably more simplistic in this
1:56:19But do you jump on everything?
1:56:22Or you say
1:56:24"I love this woman"
1:56:26"She's good to me"
1:56:27"She loves my presence"
1:56:29She's been with me in thick and thin
1:56:31Does my desire want everything?
1:56:34Probably
1:56:35A creature in the end
1:56:36Yes
1:56:37But do you go to it?
1:56:38That's the discipline
1:56:39and that's the boundary you put
1:56:41you don't go replying and messaging every girl
1:56:43and you're committed to someone
1:56:45so that's where I think
1:56:46people are not talking about
1:56:47the discipline of a relationship
1:56:50I agree
1:56:50Because if he's just going to go over your feelings,
1:56:52when he upsets you
1:56:53you're going to go message your ex
1:56:55Exactly
1:56:55Should you do that? No
1:56:57Because there is respect
1:57:00It's like
1:57:01I'm thinking in Arabic
1:57:02You should never
1:57:05How do you say it in English?
1:57:07Say it in Arabic
1:57:08"You don't have the heart to do it"
1:57:10You're so dear to me
1:57:12that I would not accept it on you
1:57:13even if I'm pissed off at you
1:57:15You're too dear for me
1:57:17to hurt you behind your back
1:57:19You're too dear
1:57:20and if your girl is your lover and your best friend
1:57:22or your close friend and your partner
1:57:24I think it makes it very hard to break that heart
1:57:27but if it's just the mother of my kids or my wife
1:57:29I think the relationship is too thin
1:57:33You need a strong bond
1:57:36But see? That's where loyalty comes in
1:57:38Because I am like,
1:57:39when I'm in love, I'm like
1:57:41"That's it, I'm going to die with you"
1:57:42I'm literally that kind of person
1:57:45I could see that
1:57:47- I love very hard - Ride or die
1:57:48that's why when these things happen
1:57:51I'm very hurt because
1:57:53I would not do that to you
1:57:55You
1:57:56You wouldn't
1:57:58Not everybody's you
1:57:59That's true
1:58:00That's what a therapist told me
1:58:02"You need to stop thinking that"
1:58:04Because we
1:58:06judge things with our glasses
1:58:08how we see the world
1:58:09So when somebody does something
1:58:11we wouldn't, we're like
1:58:11"I can't believe it"
1:58:12If somebody doesn't hug
1:58:15or love dogs and you love dogs
1:58:16You're like, "I can't believe it"
1:58:18It's because you're looking at it from
1:58:20but that's only one perspective
1:58:23That's true
1:58:25Do you practice everything you preach?
1:58:31Well,
1:58:31I've talked about a lot of things
1:58:34so I don't know if
1:58:38One thing with my previous relationship
1:58:42after he cheated on me
1:58:43I immediately broke off our relationship
1:58:46but then when I was pregnant
1:58:47I thought to myself,
1:58:49"But my child still needs his father"
1:58:52and I would never take away
1:58:54a parent from their child, ever
1:58:56unless he's abusive
1:58:58or whatever
1:58:59So I thought in that moment,
1:59:01so he cheated on me
1:59:05Some men cheat on women
1:59:06but they're good with the children
1:59:08They're good fathers, still
1:59:09So I thought
1:59:10"You know what? He really wanted to be a father"
1:59:11He was begging me
1:59:13"Let me please be a father"
1:59:14"Let me prove myself"
1:59:16So I was like, "Okay fine"
1:59:18So then I was thinking,
1:59:20so my cats were in the United States
1:59:22everything was already there
1:59:24I was like, "Okay, where do I move to?
1:59:27because if I move back to Dubai
1:59:29it's an 18-hour flight for him
1:59:30He will not be able to be present for his child
1:59:33So I was like,
1:59:34You know what?
1:59:35"Let me just move to the United States
1:59:37my stuff is there anyways
1:59:38I'm going to move there
1:59:40We can co-parent for our child
1:59:43but when I moved to the United States
1:59:45I walked into a trap
1:59:47and he just completely
1:59:50trapped me there
1:59:51and he was like...
1:59:53I stayed so long there for my child
1:59:58and I completely abandoned myself
2:00:00and everything I believed in for my child
2:00:03and that's something I always used to think
2:00:05I would never do
2:00:07but once you become a mother
2:00:08there is nothing you wouldn't do for your child
2:00:11So I was in a situation
2:00:13where I was paying for everything
2:00:15This guy is just living in my house
2:00:17I'm scared to kick him out
2:00:19because anytime I would say like,
2:00:21He would do anything
2:00:23He would basically say,
2:00:24"I'm going to call ICE on you
2:00:25or I'm going to get you deported"
2:00:27so I was scared if I get deported
2:00:28I can't be with my child
2:00:30so I was just
2:00:32sticking around someone mentally abusive
2:00:34Abusive in every way
2:00:35and I was literally like,
2:00:37"Oh my God"
2:00:38"I'm literally repeating what my mother has done"
2:00:42"I'm in the same situation right now"
2:00:44and I was like, "What do I do?"
2:00:47and I literally came to a point where
2:00:50I could see everything
2:00:52but it was like I couldn't move
2:00:54My body couldn't move anymore
2:00:56So it's like my soul watching
2:00:57everything that's happening
2:00:59but my body is just not
2:01:01cooperating anymore and I was done
2:01:03also I like gave birth
2:01:04I'm postpartum
2:01:05I'm working my ass off
2:01:06I'm taking care of my child
2:01:07It was just too much for me
2:01:09and I remember
2:01:11Actually, you know
2:01:12I used to always say,
2:01:13"Nobody's coming to save you"
2:01:15That's what I used to always say
2:01:17Because I felt like no one had ever saved me
2:01:19I had to save myself
2:01:21But my sister
2:01:24she actually came all the way from Belgium
2:01:27She flew to the United States
2:01:29Because my mom had came to visit
2:01:30and she saw the state that I was in
2:01:32and she said, "Sabina
2:01:34you have to go"
2:01:35"Your sister's actually in trouble"
2:01:38And my sister came
2:01:40and I remember that's the first time
2:01:42where I realized
2:01:43that somebody came to save me
2:01:45and it was my sister
2:01:47Because she looked at me and she told me,
2:01:49"Liz, you're going to pack your stuff
2:01:52and you're going to leave"
2:01:53"I don't care what you leave behind,
2:01:56but you're not going to live like this"
2:01:57And I told her, "You don't understand,
2:01:59You're not a mother
2:02:00You don't feel what I feel
2:02:02You don't get it"
2:02:03And she said, "Liz,
2:02:05our mom has already gone through this,
2:02:08I will be damned if you go through this as well"
2:02:15And that was like,
2:02:18everything just switched for me
2:02:20in that moment
2:02:21I was like, "I have to leave"
2:02:23If I stay any longer,
2:02:24I don't think I will survive"
2:02:26I was even developing
2:02:28rashes all over my body
2:02:30from the immense stress I was in every day
2:02:34But then obviously when I left the country
2:02:37then my visa got denied
2:02:38I thought I was going to go back in
2:02:39I had my own house by then
2:02:43So we could do 50/50 custody
2:02:45but my visa got denied
2:02:47so then he had been keeping the child from me
2:02:49because he thought
2:02:52If I abandon him,
2:02:53I'm abandoning my child
2:02:55So it's like a package deal
2:02:56if I want my child,
2:02:57I have to take him
2:02:59but I don't want
2:03:01So...
2:03:05but now I'm working with lawyers
2:03:09I'm assuming
2:03:10there are a lot of rights in America for you to
2:03:13I mean, yes
2:03:14It should be really good
2:03:18Let's see
2:03:18I already spent $50,000 on lawyers
2:03:21I didn't get anything out of it
2:03:24so I hate the fact of
2:03:26just throwing money in the garbage
2:03:27You can donate that money
2:03:29You can help people
2:03:30Why would I do this?
2:03:32But
2:03:33now like there's another way that I could try
2:03:36which obviously I'm going to do
2:03:40I really love my child
2:03:41so I want to be with my child
2:03:43but I do believe
2:03:45if a man is blackmailing you with your child
2:03:47You shouldn't even fight for it
2:03:49I really believe that
2:03:51How? What do you mean?
2:03:52For example,
2:03:55He is constantly blackmailing me, right?
2:03:58When I show
2:04:00Don't fall it
2:04:01Don't fall for any blackmail
2:04:03If someone tells you,
2:04:04"If you don't listen to me
2:04:06I'm going to leak your nudes"
2:04:07"I'm going to do this" Do it
2:04:09Because the only power these people have over you
2:04:11is that you are scared
2:04:13That's it
2:04:14and that's the same thing with my dad
2:04:16We were scared of him
2:04:17That's the only power he had
2:04:20Once my brother even started growing up
2:04:22And my brother does Thai box
2:04:25and he started going head to head with my dad
2:04:28and trying to fight him
2:04:30He started getting scared
2:04:32He told my mom,
2:04:33"Yes,
2:04:34I got a second wife
2:04:35because the children don't respect me anymore
2:04:38No, the children are not scared of you anymore
2:04:41And that's why it
2:04:42wasn't interesting for him anymore
2:04:43to even be there
2:04:44He combines fear with respect
2:04:46Yes
2:04:47And that's two different things
2:04:49Respect is when you leave the house
2:04:52how we talk about you
2:04:53That's respect
2:04:55Yes
2:04:55I'm afraid of you as soon as you come
2:04:57I'm a good boy
2:04:58Leave, I have a party
2:05:00- Exactly - That's not respect
2:05:02Respect is even on the weekend in high school
2:05:04I could have a house party but I'm like
2:05:06I wouldn't want to disappoint my family
2:05:09Not out of fear, out of love and respect
2:05:12I don't want to disappoint my family
2:05:14I would not do that
2:05:18Yes, to your question
2:05:19I feel like
2:05:21deciding to still go to the United States
2:05:24after he cheated on me was me
2:05:26not following my advice
2:05:28but at the same time
2:05:29because I never had a father
2:05:31and that was so damaging for me
2:05:34I didn't want to do that to my child
2:05:37But yes
2:05:40The biggest price I ever paid
2:05:42was falling in love with someone
2:05:45I've never paid a price this big
2:05:48You paid it, it's over
2:05:49You had a souvenir, though
2:05:51True
2:05:52But I want to get my souvenir
2:05:54I think you would
2:05:55You know what's crazy?
2:05:56This is another thing
2:05:57Women go through childbirth
2:05:59Women go through everything
2:06:01And this man can just keep the child
2:06:04I don't understand
2:06:05how they can have
2:06:07equal rights in that
2:06:09I don't get it
2:06:09because they don't go through anything
2:06:11I really believe if men could get pregnant
2:06:14and if men could
2:06:15literally have children
2:06:17they would be walking around
2:06:18on this planet acting like they're gods
2:06:21I really believe that
2:06:22we would have to give offerings at their feet
2:06:25I swear to God, they would act like they're gods
2:06:27Men have really a lot of standards for women
2:06:31Some of them without this skin
2:06:33they're already acting like God
2:06:35Exactly, already without that
2:06:37They're literally like portraying themselves as God
2:06:40Look, I'm not saying this to appeal to females
2:06:44I truly believe this
2:06:45There's no
2:06:47more powerful creature on this planet
2:06:50than a good woman
2:06:52I really believe that, too
2:06:54No more
2:06:55I truly believe a woman makes the house
2:06:58right or wrong
2:07:00A house with no good woman
2:07:02has no soul
2:07:03Yes, very true
2:07:04Everybody, the father can be there
2:07:06We're all there
2:07:07Let the woman leave, no soul
2:07:09That beautiful glue that keeps us together is
2:07:12the woman
2:07:14And she makes the next generation
2:07:16Not the father
2:07:17I do believe we're important
2:07:19but not as important
2:07:20How many great personalities have come out of
2:07:23great single women?
2:07:25Versus how many came from a single dad?
2:07:27I think, I would bet
2:07:29I don't have the statistic
2:07:30but I would bet on a single mom
2:07:32they would
2:07:33come out more successful usually
2:07:35I'm a father of two
2:07:38I'm divorced
2:07:40but I do think I'm important at a later stage
2:07:43more than at an early stage
2:07:45Now, they're my buddies
2:07:47We play football
2:07:48It's different
2:07:50But can I undermine how important my ex-wife is?
2:07:54Never
2:07:55They're great boys mainly because of her
2:07:58100%
2:07:59I was present
2:08:00but my presence has nothing to do with the woman
2:08:03Same as my mother
2:08:05Without her...
2:08:07I think that's so important
2:08:08If you have men that acknowledge that
2:08:11and don't feel intimidated by it
2:08:16Yes, that's a big issue
2:08:17I also feel like mothers are not appreciated in society
2:08:20because they don't appreciate themselves
2:08:22They just go through childbirth
2:08:24Oh my God
2:08:25My childbirth was traumatizing
2:08:27Really?
2:08:27I almost lost my life
2:08:29The doctor literally told me
2:08:31because I had an emergency C-section
2:08:33and he was like,
2:08:33"Do you have a will?"
2:08:35Yes, he was like
2:08:36and I was like, "Whoa
2:08:37wait a minute'
2:08:38I didn't know you could die
2:08:40I thought this was all like rainbow
2:08:42and sunshine
2:08:43and then I was like, "Damn"
2:08:45I need to quickly give my sister
2:08:47The PIN code to my bank account
2:08:49because I might not come out of the room
2:08:52So every woman that has given birth
2:08:55you stand between death and life
2:08:57and they act like
2:08:58I ate breakfast
2:08:59It's the same thing as eating breakfast
2:09:01but if a man was doing that
2:09:03Oh, dear Lord
2:09:05you would have parades every week
2:09:08for these men
2:09:12Why do you think so many women connect to you?
2:09:17I honestly think it's because
2:09:19probably they went through the same things
2:09:22and also I think it's just refreshing to see someone
2:09:27bring up things that they might feel still ashamed about
2:09:31That's why I would love to see myself
2:09:34when I was younger
2:09:35I'm so ashamed to talk about this
2:09:36but she can do it
2:09:38and she dares to say it
2:09:40For example,
2:09:41I had this speech at Oxford University
2:09:45I don't think they're ever going to release it
2:09:47anyways
2:09:47I did this speech about
2:09:49female empowerment
2:09:51and after I was done
2:09:53all of these women came to me and they said,
2:09:56"You finally said what I never dared to say"
2:09:59"What I just think but I never dared to say it"
2:10:02And I think that resonates with a lot of women
2:10:06Because also people think
2:10:08I'm just a man-hater
2:10:10No, I'm not a man-hater
2:10:11I don't care at all about men
2:10:13I don't care about women
2:10:14Honestly, I realized I hate everyone
2:10:17I just don't discriminate in my hate
2:10:19I think both genders have flaws
2:10:22whatever, but I
2:10:25I'll just correct something and I might be wrong
2:10:28I don't think you hate
2:10:29I think you're disappointed
2:10:30I am disappointed
2:10:32but you know it's just
2:10:34everyone thinks like
2:10:36If you're standing up for women,
2:10:38that means you like all women
2:10:40but that's also not true
2:10:41because a lot of women are
2:10:43the reason for a lot of women's misery
2:10:45A lot of women get bullied by other women
2:10:47or they lose their lives because of another woman
2:10:49and they need to be held accountable
2:10:52the same way you hold accountable
2:10:54a toxic man, for example
2:10:56So yes, I just think
2:11:00that's just society
2:11:03After my situation, with the
2:11:06whole cheating and stuff
2:11:08I started to, because before I was like
2:11:10"All women are good"
2:11:12and that's it
2:11:14but then I started to realize
2:11:16"Damn"
2:11:18There are flaws in both genders
2:11:21Marina Abramovic, do you know her?
2:11:25She does art
2:11:27She makes art and she's very special
2:11:30I like her a lot
2:11:31People think she's a witch
2:11:33and they hate her and whatever
2:11:34but she also came from an abused childhood
2:11:36So I understand her art
2:11:39but maybe she's also a witch
2:11:40Who cares?
2:11:41- Anyways - Exactly
2:11:42It's her hobby
2:11:44She's flying on a boat
2:11:47That's what she does in her free time
2:11:48I don't care
2:11:49She had this art piece
2:11:51It's on YouTube
2:11:52She was standing
2:11:54and she basically had roses, knife
2:11:56You could take anything
2:11:58and she said,
2:11:59"You can do anything to me as you choose"
2:12:01to the public
2:12:04and there were
2:12:05men in the public and women
2:12:07So people started...
2:12:08They started drawing on her body
2:12:10They started giving her roses
2:12:11giving her chocolate
2:12:13and then as time progressed
2:12:15they started getting more aggressive and aggressive
2:12:17people start cutting her clothes
2:12:19Men start touching her breast
2:12:21whatever, all these things
2:12:22She wouldn't move
2:12:24and then they started getting really aggressive
2:12:27Someone cut her in the neck really bad
2:12:30all these things
2:12:31but afterwards she said,
2:12:32''You know? I realized one thing
2:12:36The men, they would come up
2:12:38and they would do whatever they wanted to me
2:12:40as time progressed "
2:12:41But she said,
2:12:42"But the women were as bad
2:12:45but they were hypocrite about it"
2:12:47Because they were in the men's ears
2:12:49and they would tell them
2:12:50what they should do to her
2:12:51but they wouldn't go themselves
2:12:53they would let the men do it
2:12:55And I think, honestly
2:12:57We live in a society
2:12:58where a lot of women are ruling
2:13:02I even believe
2:13:03we can even say
2:13:04it could be a matriarchy
2:13:07because a lot of these men are in power
2:13:10but you will also have women in their ears
2:13:13and that's what people are not looking at
2:13:15and in a lot of even families
2:13:17The woman is ruling the household
2:13:20but the man is just the one acting out
2:13:24So I think you have to be careful of both genders
2:13:27especially if you are a successful woman
2:13:30You have to be very careful
2:13:32because they're going to hit you at both angles
2:13:35This is an interesting conversation overall
2:13:44This one, we talked about
2:13:46How did it feel?
2:13:48being 4 months pregnant
2:13:50with the love of your life
2:13:51as you thought
2:13:53then you find out he's cheating?
2:13:56Honestly, my whole world collapsed
2:13:59But you know what's crazy?
2:14:01Yes, I read
2:14:03that you said
2:14:05that it was too good to be true
2:14:08that there was always something in you feeling
2:14:10Exactly
2:14:11I was going to say that
2:14:12My intuition since the beginning was
2:14:16screaming at me
2:14:18I always was like,
2:14:20"He's a cheater"
2:14:20And I don't know why
2:14:22I just had intuitively that feeling
2:14:24and I used to always tell my sister
2:14:26because she was also always around us
2:14:28And I used to always tell her,
2:14:29"I think he's a cheater"
2:14:30but she's like, "Are you insane?"
2:14:32"He's always with you"
2:14:33"Even if I told him go to the United States,
2:14:35go be with your family, leave me alone"
2:14:36because he was annoying a little bit
2:14:38too much
2:14:39but he wouldn't leave, he would not go
2:14:42So my sister was like, "If he was cheating
2:14:44he would want to go
2:14:45because he wants to do whatever
2:14:47Good point
2:14:48and then I was like,
2:14:49"Yes, you're right"
2:14:50and she was like, "Liz,
2:14:51you're self-sabotaging because of trauma"
2:14:53And I was like,
2:14:54"Yes, you're probably right"
2:14:55"He's not"
2:14:57But it wouldn't leave
2:14:59this nudge that I had
2:15:00and I remember
2:15:00I kept telling him throughout our relationship,
2:15:03''I would rather have you leave me
2:15:05than betray me''
2:15:06I said,
2:15:07"If you ever have the feeling that you want to cheat,
2:15:09or betray me,
2:15:10just leave me"
2:15:11"Don't do that to me"
2:15:13but he heard that and he said,
2:15:15"That's exactly what I'm going to do to you"
2:15:17So he basically went
2:15:23Oh, before that
2:15:25I remember I was in Dubai
2:15:28and he went to Dallas for one week or so
2:15:31after we had spent
2:15:32three months together in Switzerland
2:15:34I was in Dubai to collect some last of my stuff
2:15:37and I remember I was sleeping
2:15:38and suddenly I have a dream
2:15:40and my dreams are very vivid
2:15:42If I dream something, it happens
2:15:44So I had a dream and in that dream
2:15:46he was with another girl
2:15:49He was cheating on me
2:15:50and I told him,
2:15:52"What are you doing?"
2:15:53and I told the girl, "What are you guys doing?"
2:15:55The girl looked at me
2:15:57She was confused
2:15:58"Why are you upset?"
2:16:00And then he was manipulating me in the dream
2:16:03to think that this was normal
2:16:05and then I was like, "What is going on?"
2:16:07and then I remember I texted him
2:16:09and I FaceTimed him
2:16:10"Are you cheating on me?"
2:16:11"I had this dream"
2:16:13"It's very weird"
2:16:14And he's like, "You're crazy"
2:16:17I was like, "Yes,
2:16:18I don't know"
2:16:19Then what happened is that for my birthday
2:16:22we went to London
2:16:23so we met up in London
2:16:24and suddenly, I'm sleeping next to him
2:16:27I get the exact same dream
2:16:31but this time
2:16:32I wake up from the dream with heartbreak
2:16:34My heart felt broken
2:16:36like it had actually happened
2:16:39So I wake him up, I said,
2:16:41This was the second time I dreamt this
2:16:44I said, "Are you cheating on me?
2:16:45I have the exact same dream"
2:16:47and he's like, "No
2:16:48You're crazy. Are you insane?"
2:16:50And then my sister was also there
2:16:52My sister is always there
2:16:54So he's like, "Sabina,
2:16:56Your sister is insane
2:16:58your sister is crazy, look what she's saying again"
2:17:00And I said to her, "I had this dream twice now
2:17:03I woke up with heartbreak"
2:17:04there's no way"
2:17:05And she said, "Liz, don't, don't"
2:17:09We went to walk
2:17:11and I was in a park with my sister
2:17:13I said, "Sabina, it doesn't feel right"
2:17:17She said, "Liz,
2:17:17okay listen,
2:17:18let's pray to God let's pray together
2:17:20and we're going to ask God now
2:17:22to reveal the truth"
2:17:24I said "Okay"
2:17:25So we prayed together
2:17:26We said, "God, please reveal the truth
2:17:29about these dreams"
2:17:30We said, "Don't just give us dreams,
2:17:32give us exact evidence"
2:17:35So then what happened
2:17:38three days later
2:17:39I leave to go to Belgium
2:17:42I had to wait there before I went to the United States
2:17:45I go to Belgium
2:17:46I'm sitting and this girl had messaged my friend
2:17:50and she basically said,
2:17:51"I have some evidence about your fiance"
2:17:54She had found my friend who has no followers
2:17:57so she could reach me
2:17:59and then I told Sabina
2:18:01But do you know what was even crazier?
2:18:03I was going to bed a day before
2:18:07and I was
2:18:08researching for my Oxford speech
2:18:11all these things about feminism
2:18:15and suddenly whilst I'm going to bed
2:18:17this place really started hurting
2:18:19which is like your third eye
2:18:20you know, intuition
2:18:21started really hurting
2:18:22and I was thinking like,
2:18:24"This is a sign, this is weird
2:18:25Why is this hurting?
2:18:26What am I going to find out?"
2:18:28and then I went to sleep
2:18:30I wake up from it
2:18:32and a mosquito had bit me right here
2:18:35again on my third eye
2:18:37and I was like, "Something is about to happen"
2:18:40Something is very weird
2:18:42then what happens
2:18:44I wake up the next day, I get those message
2:18:47My friend gets those messages
2:18:48I told her,
2:18:49"Ask her what it is" and I told Sabina
2:18:52Sabina said,
2:18:53"It's probably nothing,
2:18:54probably from something before"
2:18:55Because even then we couldn't believe it
2:18:58because this guy
2:18:59I swear he needs to go to Hollywood
2:19:01Give him an Oscar right now
2:19:03The way he played himself
2:19:05Insane
2:19:06I've never seen something like this
2:19:08So then we're sitting in the car and
2:19:10it was time change, whatever
2:19:12and the girl, she wakes up
2:19:15She sends the messages that he sent
2:19:19and he's saying,
2:19:21"Are you in Dallas?"
2:19:23He's trying to meet up with her
2:19:24and he's telling her
2:19:26that this was just like
2:19:27an internet long-distance relationship
2:19:30Internet long-distance but I'm pregnant
2:19:34I was not aware
2:19:38Basically, literally when I found that out
2:19:42no, my heart dropped into my stomach
2:19:44I was shocked
2:19:45I started crying immediately
2:19:47I was shocked
2:19:49I literally thought I was going to miscarry my child
2:19:53because the two days after
2:19:54I couldn't sleep, I didn't eat
2:19:56Yes, I was shocked
2:19:59and then
2:20:00I just confronted him and he was like,
2:20:03"I'm so sorry"
2:20:04then afterwards
2:20:05he told me he had been cheating on me since December
2:20:08We got engaged in September
2:20:11How is that even possible?
2:20:17It's possible
2:20:25But honestly that made me
2:20:28I needed that
2:20:29I really needed that hurt
2:20:31because that just awakened something in me
2:20:34the fire, the passion that I had
2:20:37it awakened and also
2:20:39I started caring less about everything
2:20:42because I cared like too much
2:20:44and I was starting to get too shy
2:20:46even to speak or to do whatever
2:20:47and he just awakened me
2:20:50and actually
2:20:52I'm very, very happy this happened
2:20:55- I needed this - Really?
2:20:56I genuinely am, I needed this
2:20:59You needed more hurt in your life?
2:21:01No, I just needed this because it woke me up
2:21:05It did something inside of me where I was like,
2:21:07"Oh wow"
2:21:18Do you still believe in love?
2:21:20Yes, I do
2:21:22Yes
2:21:23It's a good start
2:21:24But you know
2:21:25I think I'm too delusional
2:21:28No, I know
2:21:29I know people who
2:21:32I could be very skeptical
2:21:34because I see a lot of trash relationships
2:21:36and miserable relationships
2:21:38Not necessarily toxic, just not good ones
2:21:41but I know some people with good marriages
2:21:43Few
2:21:45but they're good, Liz
2:21:47So do I say it's impossible? No
2:21:49Do I say it's rare? Yes
2:21:52Because I don't want to say roommate-kind-of marriages
2:21:55I don't want to say boring, miserable
2:21:57because there are too many of those
2:21:59I mean healthy
2:22:00like they laugh a lot
2:22:01They like each other
2:22:03That's nice
2:22:03and I like to talk about the word "like" more than "love"
2:22:07because I think like is more important than love
2:22:10and I'll explain why
2:22:12If I love you,
2:22:14I love you, true
2:22:15it's a big emotion
2:22:17and I'm devoted to you
2:22:18but it's very
2:22:20conditional on our relationship
2:22:22If we stop
2:22:24I will stop loving you and I'll move on
2:22:26but if I like you, I like you
2:22:29as a human
2:22:30I like you whether you're with me or not
2:22:33I like you, I'm a fan
2:22:34I'm like, "She's fucking cool"
2:22:36"Well, good for her
2:22:37"She started a business, good"
2:22:38"She has kids"
2:22:39I'm so happy because I like you
2:22:42So I think
2:22:42we undermine
2:22:44how important it is to like the person you're with
2:22:46- That's right - Not just love them
2:22:47but they don't like them
2:22:49I feel like you should be like best friends
2:22:52In today's modern age,
2:22:54I don't think it works otherwise
2:22:57But
2:22:58that is also the most fun
2:23:00because you support each other
2:23:01You grow together
2:23:03That's really nice
2:23:04I think it's good that you still have hope
2:23:07Yes
2:23:09What does love mean to you today?
2:23:11After all that you've learned
2:23:13Honestly, love just means having fun together
2:23:18I really think like now in a relationship
2:23:20I'm looking just to have fun
2:23:22and just enjoy life
2:23:24It's almost like I came so far
2:23:27I accomplished so much
2:23:29I just want to enjoy life now
2:23:31I don't want to keep going through lessons
2:23:33I just want to really start enjoying my life
2:23:36and I feel like having a partner to do that with is
2:23:39a lot of fun
2:23:41So I think that's what love is
2:23:47Has becoming a mother changed you?
2:23:49Yes, a lot
2:23:51I think it made me way more confident
2:23:54Really?
2:23:56Also very more fierce
2:24:00Because
2:24:03The instinct
2:24:04The instinct and the thing you feel over your child
2:24:07it's like, "Don't play with me now"
2:24:11I may look nice but I'm not that nice
2:24:13I still have my father's DNA in me
2:24:17when it comes to my child
2:24:24If you were to see your son tomorrow
2:24:27What would you do?
2:24:29Oh my God,
2:24:30I would be so happy I would first close my doors
2:24:34get security guards
2:24:36so no one steals him again
2:24:38Oh my God, stop, I would eat him
2:24:42I love him so much
2:24:45When was the last time you saw him in front of you?
2:24:48I think the 26th of April
2:24:51So it's been almost three months now
2:24:55It's also not good for his brain
2:24:58For me,
2:25:00this is so selfish to do
2:25:02Because you and me don't work out,
2:25:05he shouldn't suffer
2:25:07I'm his mother
2:25:08He needs his mother, it's an infant
2:25:11At the end of the day
2:25:13I was thinking about it
2:25:14Imagine that
2:25:16I was not in his life anymore
2:25:18Okay, I say when he's 12 years old
2:25:21he can decide for himself where he wants to live
2:25:23I was thinking when I was younger
2:25:25I was always thinking to myself
2:25:27I hope...
2:25:28This is so crazy
2:25:30but I was always thinking
2:25:31I hope I'm adopted somewhere
2:25:33and these adoptive parents are rich
2:25:37Are rich?
2:25:39And I was thinking like
2:25:41they're going to ask for me back
2:25:44At any moment
2:25:46So I'm thinking like
2:25:48If I were to never see him until he's tall
2:25:52he's going to grow up
2:25:55financially struggling
2:25:56but then he would realize, "I have a rich mother"
2:25:59So he's living my dream
2:26:02That's strange
2:26:03a lot of shit repeats in your life
2:26:06Yes, actually
2:26:07But anyways
2:26:08I will get him, no way
2:26:09No way I can keep it till 12
2:26:18What's the biggest lie
2:26:19you were ever told as a child?
2:26:22That's a good question
2:26:25the biggest lie
2:26:27I was told a lot of lies
2:26:35The biggest lie that I was told was
2:26:37if I was to live the way that I wanted and freedom
2:26:41that I was going to get killed
2:26:43That was what everyone told me
2:26:46"You're going to die"
2:26:49That's a big lie
2:26:50But yes
2:26:52"Damn"
2:26:53That's a big one for a child
2:26:56No, but that was always the case
2:26:57You know what I realized?
2:26:59Once you break a boundary,
2:27:01that other people were
2:27:02afraid to break because they think you're going to die
2:27:05then you realize, "Oh wait,
2:27:06it wasn't that scary"
2:27:08And then these people also move there
2:27:10That's why it's so important
2:27:12people, they think like
2:27:13"If I want to make an impact
2:27:15I need to make a big impact"
2:27:16"I need to do worldwide"
2:27:17But you don't need to
2:27:19You as a woman, for example
2:27:20if you are living your best life,
2:27:22you just choose yourself
2:27:24you don't accept abuse, whatever
2:27:26you are inspiring your little niece
2:27:27you are inspiring even your little cousin
2:27:30All these people are looking at you
2:27:31they're inspired
2:27:33by you just living your best life
2:27:35So I feel like what you create or whatever
2:27:39people only think it's valuable when it's worldwide
2:27:42but it's always valuable
2:27:43even if it's in your own family
2:27:44even if it's something so small
2:27:46even if it's something that just makes you happy
2:27:48it's valuable
2:27:50That's true
2:27:51If you just wake up
2:27:53and you're happy to live your life
2:27:54I think that's a good life
2:27:56whatever you do, if you are happy
2:27:59overall, not every day
2:28:01but overall you're like,
2:28:02"You know, my life is good"
2:28:03"I'm happy I have this life"
2:28:05It's a good life
2:28:06That's right
2:28:11If you could meet your mother when she was young
2:28:15what would you tell her?
2:28:17I would tell her to never get married
2:28:20But then you wouldn't exist
2:28:22I would still say that
2:28:25You said
2:28:26you would even give your life for her
2:28:28to have a chance
2:28:31Do you act confident or are you confident?
2:28:34I honestly am confident
2:28:36but look
2:28:37it looks insecure even saying that
2:28:40No, it doesn't have to
2:28:42It's weird to say, "Yes, I am confident"
2:28:43I think I'm confident
2:28:45but I think confidence also has departments
2:28:49I could be confident on a bicycle
2:28:51but if you put me on a skateboard
2:28:52I'm not so confident
2:28:53so I think confidence is like that
2:28:55I could be a good public speaker
2:28:57but maybe bad in something else
2:28:59I think
2:29:00my confidence was built
2:29:01through my own skills
2:29:04through accomplishing things for myself
2:29:07So I think because of that,
2:29:08I'm very confident in what I have done
2:29:11and in who I have came out to be
2:29:14I'm very proud of myself
2:29:16and I think, yes
2:29:18in that way I am confident
2:29:20but if you tell me tomorrow to
2:29:23drive a rocket ship, I don't know how to do that
2:29:26I wouldn't be on that rocket ship
2:29:28for sure
2:29:29You would be right next to me
2:29:33What is an unforgivable action?
2:29:36An unforgivable action
2:29:38For you
2:29:40I honestly think betrayal
2:29:42I felt you're going to say betrayal
2:29:44It's one of your childhood wounds
2:29:47Maybe even a past life wound
2:29:49I don't know
2:29:50This betrayal, since I was young
2:29:52didn't like it
2:29:53How's your relationship with money today?
2:29:57Good, I love money
2:29:59It's healthy?
2:29:59Yes, and money loves me
2:30:01I hope so
2:30:02We love each other
2:30:03and just honestly, look
2:30:06I did come to a point where
2:30:09I started going live with my sister
2:30:11and we have these lives
2:30:13where we basically say what men say
2:30:14but the female version
2:30:16now this is very controversial
2:30:18for social media
2:30:19and I've had a lot of brands that are like,
2:30:22"We don't want to like work with you
2:30:24or we're going to have to put
2:30:25the brand deals on hold
2:30:27which is like my main source of income
2:30:29But you know I was sitting and I was thinking like,
2:30:32I don't care
2:30:33I don't even care about the money anymore
2:30:35because if I want to truly make an impact
2:30:38and if I truly want things to change
2:30:41then I have to focus more on that
2:30:43than I focus on money
2:30:44Because at the end of the day
2:30:46I'm good
2:30:47I'm stable
2:30:47I have whatever I need
2:30:49but I really believe
2:30:51opportunities will anyways come
2:30:53because if it's written for you
2:30:55it will come no matter what you do
2:30:57If you're meant to have it,
2:30:58you will have it
2:30:59there is no need to stress
2:31:01but I just feel like
2:31:02money shouldn't be
2:31:04your only driving force
2:31:06if you're trying to create change in the world
2:31:08because change is controversial
2:31:11and you're going to be scrutinized
2:31:13and brands want to just protect their brands
2:31:15They don't care for your change
2:31:20And your relationship with food today
2:31:22how was it?
2:31:24I healed that already years ago
2:31:26- A foodie? - No
2:31:27I love food, no
2:31:29actually I'm gaining weight
2:31:31I've been like eating more
2:31:33so I gained weight
2:31:34but healthy, I hope
2:31:35Yes, it's very healthy
2:31:37Ever since I diverted
2:31:39One cheeseburger per week is no problem
2:31:41Every day, I eat cheeseburgers now
2:31:44I'm actually trying to gain weight
2:31:47seriously
2:31:48So I was like..
2:31:49but look, for example
2:31:50when I had the eating disorders
2:31:52and my energy was going there
2:31:54I wasn't accomplishing anything
2:31:56but now
2:31:57when I diverted the energy into my business
2:32:00that's blooming and I don't even care about
2:32:02the food or whatever calories
2:32:04I never look at it anymore
2:32:06but everyone was also telling me
2:32:08after the pregnancy, "How are you so amazing?"
2:32:11"How are you so beautiful?"
2:32:14You see, here you go again
2:32:16when you compliment yourself,
2:32:19You don't know how to sit in one place
2:32:22I have ADHD
2:32:25No,
2:32:25you just don't accept compliments
2:32:27No, it's because
2:32:28they were like,
2:32:29"What's your workout routine?"
2:32:31Just be with a crazy baby daddy
2:32:34you will not gain weight
2:32:39If you could delete one memory
2:32:43from your mind,
2:32:44what would you delete?
2:32:47I think it would probably be
2:32:50about my disabled brother
2:32:52coming home
2:32:54That was hard
2:32:55when I asked you
2:32:55it was hard on you
2:32:57Although the other stories also were difficult
2:32:59You know, I just really
2:33:01always felt very protective
2:33:02about oppressed people
2:33:05and I always used to look at my brother
2:33:07because his foot is sideways
2:33:10a little bit
2:33:11and when he walks
2:33:14How do you say that?
2:33:15He has a limp
2:33:16Limp
2:33:17How can you hurt someone like that?
2:33:21If you hurt children
2:33:23If you hurt
2:33:24disabled people
2:33:25or people that are oppressed
2:33:27That's so sad, you're evil
2:33:30and to see that is very evil
2:33:34It's not something anyone wants to see
2:33:36No
2:33:40If women could only learn one thing from you,
2:33:43what would you teach them?
2:33:45I would tell them
2:33:46"Focus on your career and work and money"
2:33:49"Focus on that"
2:33:51because I genuinely
2:33:54a lot of women think,
2:33:56"I just going to go into a relationship with a man
2:33:58where he has money
2:33:59he's going to provide for me"
2:34:00but a lot of women are stuck in relationships like that
2:34:03where they get abused
2:34:04and they have no financial freedom
2:34:06if you are a woman in the world today
2:34:09you need money
2:34:10and anyone needs money
2:34:12No one should rely on anyone
2:34:13even a man
2:34:14You shouldn't rely on a woman either
2:34:16If you look at my ex
2:34:17for example,
2:34:19he went back to the old lifestyle he had after
2:34:21I just left because I was
2:34:23done with this
2:34:24but imagine that
2:34:25your lifestyle relies on someone else
2:34:27or their emotions
2:34:29You're completely controlled by them
2:34:31so instead of like pouring all of this energy into
2:34:35again, I need to be a wife
2:34:36I need to be a mother
2:34:38Make sure you're stable first
2:34:39Make sure that if anyone leaves your life
2:34:42you still have yourself
2:34:43and you still have your resources
2:34:45that's the most important thing
2:34:47I keep telling,
2:34:48if I didn't have money today,
2:34:49I would be my situation would be so bad
2:34:51so bad
2:34:52The reason I'm still laughing is because I have money
2:34:55Truly, because a lot of women
2:34:57they get their children taken
2:34:58and can't even go to court
2:35:00Can't afford it
2:35:01so they have to give up their child
2:35:03Now they don't have a place to live
2:35:07The world will treat you unfairly
2:35:09You need stability
2:35:10Stability is the most important thing
2:35:12Money also gives you a lot of freedom
2:35:15so they should focus on their careers
2:35:17focus on your money
2:35:18It's very important
2:35:19It's not everything
2:35:20but have your stability
2:35:24What is the biggest mistake women make
2:35:26after a heartbreak?
2:35:29Honestly,
2:35:30I feel like
2:35:31they just make it too much about the other person
2:35:35"He hurt me
2:35:37there's something wrong with me
2:35:38because he doesn't want me"
2:35:40but you have to ask yourself
2:35:41Do you even want him?
2:35:42Do you want a cheater? Do you want an abuser?
2:35:45No, you don't
2:35:45Realistically,
2:35:46you don't
2:35:47but your ego is hurt right now
2:35:49because you think
2:35:50even this type of man doesn't want me
2:35:52That's what you think
2:35:53but it's like you should realize
2:35:56it was never about him or you
2:35:59Even if women get cheated on
2:36:00they think
2:36:01"I was not good enough
2:36:02I should change myself
2:36:03then he would want me"
2:36:05No, a cheater will cheat on anyone
2:36:07It doesn't matter who you are
2:36:09so I think they should
2:36:11instead of focusing on that
2:36:13focus on yourself
2:36:14How do you want to love yourself more?
2:36:17How do you want to pour into yourself?
2:36:20How do you want to rebuild yourself?
2:36:22And once you pour the energy into yourself,
2:36:25you will become a person
2:36:26that doesn't even care about this person anymore
2:36:28you will forget them
2:36:29"Who is this?"
2:36:31And it's also so beautiful
2:36:32because people always think
2:36:34"Oh, you went through heartbreak
2:36:35you failed"
2:36:36"You got cheated on, you failed"
2:36:37But no, you just evolved
2:36:39You went through struggle
2:36:41You learned a lesson from it
2:36:43So you take the lesson
2:36:44Some don't learn
2:36:45Okay, but you should learn
2:36:47You take the lesson and then you move on
2:36:49and now you are in a different reality
2:36:52where that person doesn't even exist anymore
2:36:56I'm in your domain now
2:37:02Because I know you talk about manifestation
2:37:05What is something people misunderstand
2:37:07about manifestation?
2:37:08Well, they think it's like woo woo magic
2:37:10and all these things
2:37:11but it's not, it's very simple
2:37:14I feel like manifestation is manipulation of energy
2:37:18Wherever you direct your energy,
2:37:20is what will come into your life
2:37:22We could even say,
2:37:23I was so scared of betrayal my whole life
2:37:25that you attracted it
2:37:26I might have attracted it
2:37:27Or you attracted somebody who does it
2:37:29Because
2:37:32How powerful do you become if you face your fears?
2:37:35So if my biggest fear was getting betrayed
2:37:38and now I had to face them
2:37:40I became more powerful now
2:37:41I care even less
2:37:43I feel more confident after that happened
2:37:47So I feel like with manifestation
2:37:49they think like it's writing the thousand times
2:37:51someone's name
2:37:52No,
2:37:53that's crazy
2:37:53You can also do that, maybe that also works
2:37:55I don't know
2:37:56but I feel like it's more how you position your mind
2:38:00what you think about on a daily basis
2:38:01what you engage with
2:38:03who you allow around you
2:38:04because a lot of people
2:38:06allow all these
2:38:07people that don't have good intentions with them
2:38:09or they belittle them
2:38:11They make them feel smaller
2:38:12That's who you are going to be
2:38:14Because
2:38:15that's what they're pouring into you
2:38:16and you're accepting it
2:38:18You can say
2:38:20Just not what I deserve
2:38:22I deserve better
2:38:24and then your reality changes
2:38:27What would you tell a woman who knows she should leave
2:38:30but she still loves him?
2:38:32Well,
2:38:33sometimes people give the advice of
2:38:35"Stay until you hate the person"
2:38:37I think this works if he's not abusive
2:38:40because some women can
2:38:42lose their life over this
2:38:44So if you want to stay until you absolutely hate the person
2:38:48that's on you
2:38:50But if he's genuinely abusive
2:38:51I would say,
2:38:52Ask yourself is this truly love?
2:38:55or have you deprived yourself of love so much
2:38:58that you will accept breadcrumbs
2:39:03Social media clips
2:39:06They'll fly
2:39:11This is an interesting question
2:39:14Would you rather lose all your memories
2:39:17or the ability to make new ones?
2:39:24I would maybe
2:39:27rather lose all my memories
2:39:35How many people do you think
2:39:36would be happy with your death?
2:39:39When I die?
2:39:41I think a small amount
2:39:44I think a lot of people would be sad
2:39:46but honestly I don't think anyone should be sad
2:39:50because I don't think earth is our home
2:39:52I think we have a body
2:39:54we rent this body, but we have a soul
2:39:56and I think our soul goes back home
2:39:59and I think it's beautiful there
2:40:01It doesn't mean that you should go
2:40:05I'm not encouraging that
2:40:06but I think when it's your time to come
2:40:08I think it's so beautiful
2:40:11And I really think like death is going back home
2:40:18Give me the #ABtalks card game
2:40:20We'll do one from the
2:40:22card game
2:40:23Thanks
2:40:26- How's your energy? - Good
2:40:28Okay, good
2:40:29Mix please
2:40:31You're going to read tarot for me now
2:40:33No
2:40:33I'll give you this the later
2:40:35You're going to enjoy this a lot
2:40:36It's a nice game
2:40:40So I'll ask you one
2:40:42Then you throw this
2:40:44and this is how to answer
2:40:45So choose first
2:40:46which one should I ask you
2:40:48Tell me which one
2:40:49This one
2:40:51Wait, this one?
2:40:58I'll ask, you throw
2:41:00Who do you miss right this minute?
2:41:02Okay
2:41:05Be open
2:41:07My sister
2:41:08Really?
2:41:09Yes, I miss her so much
2:41:10She's in Dallas
2:41:12She's with my baby
2:41:13So she has a visa?
2:41:15Yes, she can go in
2:41:18How come you don't have a visa?
2:41:20Because it's like
2:41:22I was once sent away at the LAX airport
2:41:25and normally you get an ESTA
2:41:27You can go in and out
2:41:28and because I was sent away once
2:41:30Ever since I couldn't get the ESTA anymore
2:41:32and now
2:41:33if I want to apply for the ESTA
2:41:34or the B2 visa, then
2:41:37they need to show that I don't have immigration intent
2:41:39but because I have a child
2:41:40obviously they will not give it to me
2:41:43So
2:41:45Okay
2:41:49Tell me, Liz
2:41:53Are you scared?
2:41:56No
2:41:58I used to be very scared when I was younger
2:42:02very scared
2:42:03I grew up with so much fear inside of me
2:42:06and then
2:42:07I remember one time
2:42:08my mom brought me to this psychic guy
2:42:11and he was doing tarot readings
2:42:13and I was very young and he told me,
2:42:15"You know?" He said,
2:42:16"If you let go of the fear that you have,
2:42:19you will become extremely successful"
2:42:22And he said, "I don't even want to say how successful
2:42:25because I want to be realistic"
2:42:27"But will be extremely successful"
2:42:29And I never understood what he meant
2:42:31Until now I get it
2:42:38How old were you?
2:42:4013
2:42:42I didn't even know what he meant
2:42:44I thought I didn't have fears
2:42:45but I was so scared of everything
2:42:50So you're not scared now?
2:42:52No
2:42:52I feel like it's getting better and better and better
2:43:02Your father is outside this door when we're done
2:43:05Oh, no
2:43:06I'm so scared
2:43:08What would you tell him?
2:43:11To leave me alone
2:43:14You're still scared of him?
2:43:15I wouldn't want to see him
2:43:17I think he's frightening
2:43:18Even if I show you a picture
2:43:20you'll say that's a scary person
2:43:23You can tell there's something wrong with him
2:43:25in the energy
2:43:30So you wouldn't tell him anything?
2:43:32No
2:43:34Just leave me alone
2:43:36Leave me alone
2:43:38That's all I have
2:43:39Did he try to get in touch with you?
2:43:41Yes, he always threatened to kill me
2:43:43when I did my social media
2:43:46he was going to kill me
2:43:47his friends were sending me death threats
2:43:55What's the best memory of your life so far?
2:43:58The best memory
2:44:00was when I gave birth to my child
2:44:02Oh, was it a good one?
2:44:03Oh yes
2:44:04Honestly,
2:44:05I was shocked
2:44:06I couldn't believe it
2:44:07Because you know how they say like
2:44:09when you are a father
2:44:11You realize like
2:44:12"Oh my God, there's a child"
2:44:13- You're shocked - Yes
2:44:15But I had that, I was like "What?"
2:44:17"How did this just come out of my stomach?"
2:44:20"What was this?"
2:44:21I was shocked, it was like an alien
2:44:24But then I was like,
2:44:25"Oh my God"
2:44:26It was so hard
2:44:27but at the same time you just see one smile
2:44:29Oh my God
2:44:30That's it, I'm done
2:44:31This is worth it
2:44:33Anything you want, you get
2:44:35My sister was like
2:44:38She was showing me on FaceTime
2:44:39he was like doing something with his toys
2:44:42and he was like drumming sound
2:44:44and I was like, "Okay, done"
2:44:45"We're investing in a drumming career"
2:44:47"Whatever you want"
2:44:53You go girly when you think of your child
2:44:56Yes
2:44:57I love my child so much
2:45:01Yes
2:45:05If
2:45:07God forbid
2:45:09you didn't live long
2:45:12you didn't get to live long
2:45:14What would be so important for you
2:45:19that your son would remember about his mother?
2:45:25It would be
2:45:29that I was a powerful woman
2:45:32and that I was a fighter
2:45:34because I think it would inspire him
2:45:38and remind him of his strength
2:45:41Yes
2:45:44And that he would understand
2:45:45that women are powerful
2:45:47You know, even
2:45:48the reason that I left when I did
2:45:51was because I didn't want my son to grow up
2:45:54and think it's okay to treat women like this
2:45:56or I didn't want him to grow up
2:45:58and think that women will stay
2:46:00if you treat them like this
2:46:02because a lot of parents
2:46:03what they do is they stay together for the children
2:46:06They're abusing each other
2:46:07but then the children grow up
2:46:09to stay together for the children
2:46:11you're creating cycles of abuse
2:46:14True
2:46:15So
2:46:16you have to set an example
2:46:17that this is not how you treat women
2:46:19and a woman will leave if you do this
2:46:26Is he a good-looking boy?
2:46:28He's so handsome
2:46:29I will show you pictures
2:46:30He's so handsome
2:46:32- That's good - God bless
2:46:32very handsome
2:46:33Looks like me, of course
2:46:38Well I hope at least your ex is a good father
2:46:40you said so
2:46:42I just feel like it's a child raising a child
2:46:47I feel like it's immaturity
2:46:50I think a truly good father
2:46:52like he claims to be
2:46:53knows that the child belongs with his mother
2:46:56Yes
2:46:57You have to be responsible
2:47:00so but other than that, yes
2:47:03If I could take Liz's heart
2:47:06with everything you told me today
2:47:09with the good and the bad
2:47:11and the trauma
2:47:13and the scared girl before
2:47:15who is better now
2:47:16and I take the heart and I place it outside
2:47:19What would your heart tell you?
2:47:26Probably that I'm tired
2:47:29I think my heart is also so tired
2:47:32"Give me a break"
2:47:35Yes
2:47:37I think when you constantly have to be strong
2:47:40and you constantly have to go through things
2:47:43and then it gets better then another thing
2:47:45It's exhausting
2:47:46Do you think you're addicted
2:47:48to the chaos and the drama?
2:47:51No, but I do think that
2:47:54I thrive in it
2:47:56I think I thrive best in survival mode
2:47:59because that's all I've known
2:48:00so once a situation repeats where again
2:48:03I have to survive, I'm the best at it
2:48:06That's why you said,
2:48:07I thank him for that
2:48:09Yes, because it awakened me again
2:48:12Then does that mean if
2:48:13I bring Liz and she finds love
2:48:15and she settles down or without love
2:48:16you just settle down and you're calm
2:48:18and there's no drama, no intensity
2:48:21Would you need that again to revive you?
2:48:24I don't think so
2:48:25I think I just want a fun relationship
2:48:29I just want to have fun, I want to laugh and stuff
2:48:31That's also good for me
2:48:33I don't need to have drama
2:48:34all these things
2:48:36Because you know some people say what they want
2:48:38but they don't really want it
2:48:39Subconsciously
2:48:40They keep attracting
2:48:42Yes
2:48:43No, no
2:48:44Because you know
2:48:44my relationship before was very calm
2:48:47Very, very calm
2:48:48and it lasted a long time
2:48:50but then it ended horrible
2:48:51Why?
2:48:52How did it end?
2:48:54I don't want to say
2:48:55You said everything already
2:48:57This one, I cannot say
2:48:59It was not good
2:49:01From your side or from his side?
2:49:02No,
2:49:03his side
2:49:04but let's just say we fought
2:49:07Elbow?
2:49:11Very bad
2:49:14Have you been in touch after?
2:49:16He reached out
2:49:18but, no
2:49:21It's also when you change
2:49:23when you like move on from someone
2:49:25you just never see them again
2:49:27because he used to live 5 minutes from me
2:49:29I never saw him again
2:49:32It's like they don't exist
2:49:33in your reality anymore
2:49:39In the simulation,
2:49:40they don't exist anymore
2:49:42They get removed
2:49:48Last question before I say a few things
2:49:52Liz, in one word
2:49:58I think strong
2:50:00Strong
2:50:02You believe this?
2:50:04Yes
2:50:05Yes
2:50:06I think you are
2:50:08So what I wanted to say is
2:50:13at the beginning of the interview,
2:50:15you said "I'm numb"
2:50:19I think you're the opposite of numb
2:50:23I think you're so sensitive
2:50:25that it freaks you out
2:50:27Yes
2:50:28But you like to say that you're numb
2:50:30because it's like a bandage
2:50:32or a cover, right?
2:50:35and I want to say that
2:50:43Don't be afraid to feel
2:50:46It's a beautiful thing about you
2:50:49You have feelings
2:50:50You can still feel life
2:50:52You can still feel pain
2:50:53You can still laugh
2:50:54You can still feel joy
2:50:56It's quite a blessing that you can still feel
2:50:58Yes
2:50:59So don't say that you're numb
2:51:02Not allowed anymore
2:51:04Okay
2:51:05That makes a lot of sense actually
2:51:09And the other thing I was thinking about
2:51:15One thing I was thinking about is that
2:51:17I think you will see your son
2:51:19Yes?
2:51:20Psychic prediction?
2:51:21I don't know, I'm not a psychic
2:51:23It's just a feeling
2:51:24I think you're a very determined woman
2:51:27and I think you could be a really good mom
2:51:30Yes
2:51:31I literally want to be
2:51:33the reason I only had the child
2:51:35at the time that I did
2:51:37was because I was like,
2:51:38"I have savings, I have everything
2:51:40and stability, now I want my child"
2:51:43Like I told you,
2:51:44I was like a mother to my mother
2:51:46The mother role perfect for me
2:51:50- It's familiar - Yes
2:51:51People just think that
2:51:53to be a mother,
2:51:54you only have to be a mother
2:51:56No, like they're still their own person
2:51:58I still want to work, I want to have a relationship
2:52:01I want to be happy as well
2:52:02but I am also a mother
2:52:04and I want to take care of my child
2:52:09That makes me very happy
2:52:11but he said to me,
2:52:12that if I come to Canada
2:52:15so
2:52:16I'm actually might go to Canada
2:52:19that if I come to Canada
2:52:21I can see my son there for a week
2:52:23then I have to prove there that I'm a good mother
2:52:27Yes
2:52:28and he said then he will think about it
2:52:31if it makes sense for him to move to Dubai
2:52:34I think, look
2:52:35any man also, especially if you're still
2:52:40I don't want to call him immature
2:52:41I don't know him
2:52:43but a man who is still maybe growing
2:52:46and leveling up or maturing
2:52:48it is a burden to take care of a baby
2:52:51Yes, no
2:52:51he is a burden
2:52:53He'll feel it
2:52:53and then the moment he knows
2:52:55"She can relieve me of this duty
2:52:57and I can be a part-time father"
2:52:59Naturally,
2:53:00if there's no ego attached
2:53:02he should want you to take care of the child
2:53:04because his son will be healthier
2:53:05Yes
2:53:06Especially if you're a great mom
2:53:08and he gets to see him part time
2:53:10which is convenient
2:53:11for somebody who's not ready to be a full-time father
2:53:13I offered him
2:53:14I had even offered him $300,000
2:53:17I said I'm going to buy my child
2:53:18give him
2:53:19He said, "I will give him for one year
2:53:22and then I will take him again"
2:53:24I said, "No deal
2:53:26So then I offered him two days ago
2:53:28I said 150, give him for one year
2:53:30I just want him for one year
2:53:32He said, "No"
2:53:34So I don't know what he wants
2:53:36because he wants child support from me
2:53:38so you want money
2:53:39but then when I offer you money,
2:53:41you also say no
2:53:42so you just want to make me miserable
2:53:44- You think so - Yes
2:53:45He just wants to make me miserable
2:53:48Even though he needs money
2:53:50This is the situation
2:53:51he needs money
2:53:56I hope you figure it out
2:53:57Now it's going to go just through courts
2:54:02and the last thing that's on my mind
2:54:04before I let you run away
2:54:07I'm already going
2:54:10is
2:54:14You're tired
2:54:17I can see how tired you are
2:54:22It's okay too, not tired face
2:54:24No, thank you so much
2:54:25No,
2:54:26I don't mean your face
2:54:27I know cause women get offended if I say you look tired
2:54:31I don't say you look tired
2:54:32Yes, I know
2:54:33I think you're
2:54:37Especially when you first came,
2:54:39I could tell how you're in fight mode
2:54:44technically
2:54:45and I think it's okay to know that
2:54:48with certain people
2:54:49maybe less than five in your life
2:54:51You should let go a bit
2:54:54because some people will protect you
2:54:56and they will defend you and they'll fight for you
2:55:00Thank you
2:55:02It's okay to be tired
2:55:04You're still strong tired
2:55:07I'm a warrior while tired
2:55:09Warriors get tired too
2:55:13Thank you for today
2:55:14Thank you so much for having me
2:55:16I appreciate it
2:55:17I appreciate you
2:55:18Before you run away,
2:55:20I need you for a few minutes
2:55:22It's been eight years on the show
2:55:24and we're working on something very cool with the team
2:55:26but we need your help, your opinion
2:55:28We need to get to know you better
2:55:29to do this really cool thing
2:55:31The link is in the description
2:55:32I hope you take your time
2:55:34Answer it
2:55:35and I will see you soon

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of 19 Years of Abuse, Betrayal, & Rebuilding Her Life | #ABtalks with The Wizard Liz | Chapter 259 by #ABtalks, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 27,658 words across 4,881 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to translate the transcript into 100+ languages.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, translation to 100+ languages, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.