10 Ways to Build and Develop Resilience — Transcript

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1. 0:00In life, everyone encounters hardships.
2. 0:03Some will be big, and others will be small.
3. 0:06Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, getting laid off, heartbreak, divorce, or even just
4. 0:13putting orange juice in this morning’s cereal instead of milk, there will be tough times.
5. 0:18When these difficult times inevitably arrive, we can either choose to let them swallow us
6. 0:23up, or we can choose to keep going and make the best of the cards life has dealt us.
7. 0:28Yes, even when there’s orange juice in your cereal.
8. 0:33This is where a very important skill comes in: resilience.
9. 0:38Resilience is the ability to pick yourself back up and move forward after tragedy or
10. 0:42challenges.
11. 0:43It’s grit.
12. 0:44It’s determination.
13. 0:46It’s deciding not to quit, and that even if the worst happens, you’ll be okay.
14. 0:52But this important skill is not an innate ability.
15. 0:56Children are not born resilient — as you could probably tell by their fragility and
16. 1:01inability to form a sentence — nor do they naturally become proficient at it as they
17. 1:06age.
18. 1:07Resilience has to be built and developed over time.
19. 1:10Which means us adults have to figure out how to get resilient on our own.
20. 1:14Luckily, resilience can be developed through mindset shifts, practice, and through healthy
21. 1:19habits everyone has the ability to implement.
22. 1:23Here are just 10 ways to start building your resilience so you can weather through the
23. 1:27hard times life throws your way...orange juice and all.
24. 1:311.
25. 1:32Be Proactive Resilient people are proactive.
26. 1:36This means they face their problems head on.
27. 1:38They don’t let problems fester in the corner, growing larger and larger by the day until
28. 1:44it becomes an uncontrollable infestation.
29. 1:47Instead, resilient people take immediate action.
30. 1:51The next time you encounter a problem in your life, even a small one, force yourself to
31. 1:56be proactive in fixing the problem.
32. 1:59Rather than spiraling into a storm of negative thoughts about the situation, focus on taking
33. 2:03action.
34. 2:04Ask yourself: what can I do right now to minimize the damage or fix the issue?
35. 2:102.
36. 2:12Protect Your Downtime Resilient people are well-rested.
37. 2:15They have the energy necessary to confront their problems.
38. 2:18It’s very difficult to be proactive about difficult situations when you’ve been running
39. 2:23yourself ragged, fueled by three shots of espresso, and sporting a pair of bags under
40. 2:28your eyes.
41. 2:30So practice resilience by simply setting aside time every day for yourself.
42. 2:35You can use the time for self-reflection, meditation, or just for some needed TLC.
43. 2:41But by protecting your downtime, you’ll have the strength and mental preparedness
44. 2:45to focus when issues and challenges cross your path.
45. 2:493.
46. 2:51Change Your Mindset About Adversity One of the biggest fixes you can make in order
47. 2:56to build resilience is to stop thinking about adversity as a problem and think about it
48. 3:01as a chance for growth.
49. 3:03Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?”
50. 3:05ask yourself “What can I learn from this?”
51. 3:09This reframing question is powerful because it distracts you from the pain or frustration
52. 3:14of the situation and makes you start looking for an answer to an interesting question.
53. 3:19Focusing on how you can grow stronger from a situation is a much more productive use
54. 3:23of your brain cells than wallowing in self-pity.
55. 3:264.
56. 3:28Build Relationships Resilient people know they can’t do everything
57. 3:32by themselves.
58. 3:33That’s where close friends and family come in.
59. 3:37Develop strong, healthy relationships with people you trust so you have someone to turn
60. 3:41to when you need a shoulder to cry on or a cheerleader to celebrate your successes.
61. 3:47So take time out of your day to put yourself out there and work on your relationships.
62. 3:52You’ll be grateful you did when you encounter challenges down the road.
63. 3:575.
64. 3:58Focus on the Present An easy trick to develop resilience is simply
65. 4:02to practice focusing on the present.
66. 4:05Whenever you find yourself bogged down by past mistakes or worried about the future,
67. 4:09catch yourself and then refocus on the present.
68. 4:14Mistakes both past and future are not in our control, and thinking about them too much
69. 4:19only causes additional stress.
70. 4:21Plus, if you think too much about the past or future, that’s energy and time you could
71. 4:26be using towards your present — the thing you can control.
72. 4:30So build your resilience up by developing your awareness of your thoughts and feelings
73. 4:35and turning them towards the present moment, rather than towards things you can’t change.
74. 4:416.
75. 4:42Know That Life Isn’t Fair Growing up, your parents or teachers might
76. 4:46have told you that “life isn’t fair!” when you really wanted something you couldn’t
77. 4:51get.
78. 4:52As a kid, it might have been pretty upsetting.
79. 4:55But as we get older, the idea that life isn’t fair can actually be comforting.
80. 5:01Life isn’t fair — not for anyone!
81. 5:04Every human being on this planet experiences hardship.
82. 5:08Some more than others, but there are still problems in everyone’s life.
83. 5:12You are not alone in pain.
84. 5:15Resilient people realize this about life, and they don’t dwell on wrapping their heads
85. 5:20around the fact that something bad has happened.
86. 5:22Instead, they know that bad things happen, and they accept them when they come.
87. 5:28They know life isn’t fair, and they don’t spend time worrying about it.
88. 5:32There’s nothing they can do, so it’s more important to focus on things within their
89. 5:37control.
90. 5:387.
91. 5:39Stay Flexible Resilience may bring to mind images of strong,
92. 5:44immovable objects.
93. 5:46Like giant boulders.
94. 5:47Or a weed growing in a sidewalk crack.
95. 5:50You may be imagining any number of things that don’t change despite what goes on around
96. 5:55them.
97. 5:56However, this could not be further from the truth.
98. 6:00Resilience actually involves a lot of flexibility and creativity.
99. 6:05Challenges in your life may cause you to have to pivot, to change direction.
100. 6:09This doesn’t mean you have to give up on goals or dreams, it just means you may have
101. 6:14to reach your goals in a way you hadn’t anticipated before.
102. 6:19Stay creative with your options in life, and you’ll be able to navigate through any difficulty.
103. 6:258.
104. 6:26Focus on What You Can Change As we’ve touched on a bit so far, one of
105. 6:31the best things you can do to build resilience is to focus only on what you can change.
106. 6:37People who constantly blame their environment for their circumstances — whether or not
107. 6:41they are right or wrong — definitely never see their circumstances change.
108. 6:46However, resilient people who decide that THEY are the force which can change their
109. 6:51own life, do see changes in their circumstances.
110. 6:54A defeated attitude doesn’t help overcome challenges.
111. 6:59Only those who rise to the challenge see change and growth.
112. 7:03So get rid of that defeatist mindset and accept that you are the one with the power.
113. 7:099.
114. 7:10Be Grateful Negativity is the greatest killer of resilience.
115. 7:16Practice gratitude in your daily life as much as possible.
116. 7:19We all know it’s far too easy to focus on negative things in life — our brains are
117. 7:24hardwired to do so and keep us out of danger!
118. 7:28But if you know you are not in any immediate danger, try shifting your attention to the
119. 7:33good things about a situation.
120. 7:35This, just like anything, becomes easier with practice.
121. 7:39So try writing down three things you’re grateful for every day.
122. 7:43You’ll be surprised at how many things you come up with!
123. 7:47And you may end up more content with your life as you see your growing list of reasons
124. 7:51to be happy.
125. 7:5310.
126. 7:54Practice Resilience In the Wild One way to develop resilience is to seek out
127. 7:58challenges in your life on purpose.
128. 8:00For example, try starting a 30-day challenge.
129. 8:04Or apply to jobs until you have 50 rejection letters.
130. 8:08Or even try taking cold showers every day— heck, you might even end up enjoying it!
131. 8:14Putting yourself out there again and again will teach you to not be so afraid of failure
132. 8:19and will show you that no matter what, you can make it through a lot of things unharmed.
133. 8:29Resilience may be one of the most important skills we can learn in our lives.
134. 8:33To be able to overcome adversity and frustration and hurt and heartbreak is an invaluable skill
135. 8:38— because all these challenges will inevitably come our way eventually.
136. 8:43So if we can be ready for them — if we can be resilient, in whatever small way possible
137. 8:49— then we can spend less time affected by things we lose or lose out on, and more time
138. 8:55experiencing the joy of the amazing things in our life that we do have.
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